I've been dabbling in pickup for 8 years now, reading models, and scouring this site, and over the course of two relationships, I've completely forgotten about it.

Well, I'm single now, and it's been a year. A year where I dealt with myself, ran away across the country and came back with a cultivated self-awareness.

Before I tell this story, I must say a few key points.

First, inner game is an absolute must.

Get

Your

Shit

Together

Period.

If you cannot accept any aspect of yourself, then you either learn to accept it or change it so that you can accept it. Are you overweight? Embrace it, or lose weight. Do you think you are ugly? Embrace it or get a haircut. I don't care what you do, however until you really accept who you are as a person and know yourself you are not going to get anywhere in life, not just women, but work, socially. Objectively looking at your flaws and either embracing or changing them is the single best thing you can do.

I spent a while scouring this subreddit lately, and every success has been from one huge thing. Outcome independence. This is a result of not being needy. The ability to really enjoy what you're doing and not worry about whether you're getting laid or not is hugely important. You must care for yourself and your own personal enjoyment regardless of whether people are there or not. Be non-needy and outcome independent you sexy fucker.

This leads to the third point. From what I've learned from the last little while, women are emotional creatures, and emotions are subject to change. It is a mindstate, and you are able to change mindstates via words, touch, and body language. What a woman says is not nearly as important as what a woman feels, and you need to feel (heh) this out by using your own emotions to evoke whatever you desire. Women are intuitive, they will pick up on you. When you are in a mindstate of non-neediness this shows in your words, your body language, and your touch. You can't fake it. This is why pick up lines are just training wheels to get you over your approach anxiety. They exist so you can quickly move on to a state where you can just feel good about yourself, in your element, and naturally, progress from there.

I've been reading a lot of NLP, which is done by Richard Bander. He took his works from Milton (a hypnotherapist in Nevada) and Virginia Satir (a clinical family psychologist), and the biggest takeaways I personally took from it is submodalities and resource anchoring.

The idea of shaping your language to achieve what you desire is bar none one of the most powerful tools I've ever had in my toolbelt. This is not just for women. This has also assisted me in the three pillars of familial, social, and occupational fields. I have a new job where I make more money, I am the mediator for my family, and my friends respect me much more.

Resource anchoring is the concept of setting aside time and feeling a moment where you were in a certain mindstate, for example confident. You feel that moment where you were extremely confident, and remember the entire situation from where you were sitting/standing, what you saw, what you felt (perhaps there was a light breeze), what you smelled in that area (delicious Costco dogs), what you felt and tasted. When you are in that moment and you remember everything, you anchor it to a trigger on your body. I associate it with pressing my forefinger and thumb together, and I can recall that mindstate almost immediately. It can take practice, but I highly recommend reading "An Introduction to Neuro-linguistic Programming, by Ian McDermott and Joseph O'Connor".

That being all said and done, here is my field report.

I was sitting in my bed reading Kafka on my kindle when I decided to take a quick phone break. I opened up tinder, and mindlessly swiped right until I could no longer. Fuck paying for dating apps, I play my cards the way I want to. I had a match, and I saw this girl that I was willing to fuck.

I messaged her saying she had an awesome name (Aria), and we had a discussion of whether she could sing or not. She didn't, so I segued into music and asked what she listened to. She started asking me questions about my life and I told her I'm a writer, and I am going to school and just got a new job. She seemed intrigued, and I asked her for a date this week (it was Monday). We agreed on Thursday, and I waited. Thursday rolled around and I initially agreed to 11 in the morning, and life happened, so I messaged her to push back til 12. She acquiesced. 12 rolled around and I said I will definitely have to do a bit later, and we both agreed at 1420 at Starbucks. I drive back to my town and meet her at Starbucks at 1500, and I apologize for being late. She understood as life happens and we get to talking.

I get up and ask one of the baristas what they would order if they were a customer. They tell me about this iced black tea latte with a shot of espresso and a pump of white mocha. It's amazing and only 3 bucks. Highly recommend.

I sit back down and I ask her about her job, she's a nurse, and I ask her how that affects her mentally, and we just continue chatting about other things. We talk about our favorite things, and I tell her about my favorite movie, True Romance. After a while, my ass starts to hurt so I ask her if she wants to take one of our cars and go for a walk. We take mine and we go to a park. We walk around this park and I barely touch her. I put my arm around her to neg her and say she makes an excellent armrest as she's so short, and she giggles. We see ducks and a blue heron, and I am simply amazed by it.

We get back in the car.

She asks me, "Where to next?". I reply, "This one is on you, I said the first thing so it's in your court now."

She recommends a brewery, and we go. I've never gone before so we each get a flight of beers that we can choose from, and I got a bit lit from drinking some heavy high ABV porters. She is feeling it too, and she orders some pizza and tacos, and we sit there for an hour as I constantly go and piss and go out for a vape and check my medium account.

I sober up a bit and tell her I have a nasty habit of drinking and driving, and she admits to it as well. We drive back to her car, but right before I drop her off I ask her if she wants to see my favorite movie at her place and she says sure, and I say I'll be an hour. She immediately texts me her address. I drive home, take a shower, and drive out to her place where I got completely lost. I call her to find it, and she walked half a click to show me where she lives. We go inside together.

She mixes me a sweet rum and ginger beer drink, and since I forgot my USB drive, we download the movie on her laptop and just chat for a while and watch some Office. She constantly goes over to the computer, and once it finally downloads she waltzes over and hunched over her computer. I go up to her and start rubbing her neck, and I notice how tense it is. She immediately turns to Jello and we both sit on the couch.

While True Romance is playing (which by the way is the best film in existence, watch the Directors Cut), I start rubbing her neck and shoulders and back. I slowly move to her breasts by accidentally brushing against them, and then going for the full grab. She's totally down for all of this and she moves over to get more comfortable and I go for the kiss. We start making out, and I take her top off, and she takes mine and we just rub each other down for what felt like an eternity.

She then stops me.

"TonyDanzaPUA, I'm not sure.", She says.

"Not sure of what?", I reply.

"I really want to have sex with you, but I just, I dunno, I should wait.", She says.

"It's completely up to you,", I say, standing up, and sitting beside her without touching her, "You need to do what feels right, and there's nothing wrong with a couple of adults just hanging out and doing what feels natural.".

She nods, and we just cuddle a bit watching the film. Slowly I start rubbing her neck again and start kissing her, and we get heavier and heavier. All of a sudden, next thing I know we're in the bedroom and we fuck twice. She tells me she's never done this before, and I say that's completely alright, it's pretty fantastic.

I stay the night and for the first time in my life with a hookup I stick around. We drink some coffee, she offers breakfast but I decline. We chat a bit and I put on my shoes and we kiss each other, and next thing you know, we're fucking again.

Not only that, but two days later I ask her to challenge me to come over, and she offers me coffee and a neck rub. I go over there and she blows me, and then we drink coffee and make dinner together. Then we drink a bottle of wine and actually watch the best movie ever made. I kiss her goodbye again as she has to get up early in the morning and she blows me with my shoes on right at the door. I finish in 10 minutes and I head out.

Inner game my friends. Once you have a mindstate that is not needy and you are just happy with whatever is going on because you chose to be there in that moment, you will find everything is a lot easier and opportunities spring up. Keep on trucking my friends, I want to see you all succeed.