Okay, so I know you guys don't normally give advice like this but fpua is dead and I can't post it to relationship advice because they'll just tell me he's not worth it. It's long but necessarily so.

I've been hanging out with a guy I met online. We both go to the same school so he texts me pretty much every day to see if I'm on campus and want to get together to “study”. This “studying” usually consists in us just discussing the continuing dramas that are our love lives, school work, race, gender, and whatever else comes up. We also talk a lot about power dynamics in relationships.

Our relationship is very flirtatious and we spend half the time teasing each other. He's totally alpha, to an almost annoying extreme. Everything he does is cocky but he manages to be playful enough to keep himself likable. But, he also allows me to turn into a brutally honest bitch when I'm around him because I don't worry at all that he'll be hurt or think I'm callous. His assholery turns me into an asshole and I kind of like that freedom. The game playing is also a lot of fun, even though sometimes I get fed up with it.

He's got what he calls his “inventory” of women. Seriously, he showed me his phone the other day and it's all women even though he hasn't slept with anyone new in 3 years. Part of the problem is that he is really good looking and knows it. In pua terms, he's a 9 and I'm probably closer to a 7, though of course it's impossible to be objective with these things.

I invited him to my friend's St Patty's Day party at his insistence (wants to expand his limited social circle) and the three most attractive girls there were flirting outrageously with him. I tried not to hit on him or give him too much attention but ended up drinking too much and making a bit of a fool of myself.

Recently he suggested we start sleeping together and it kind of threw me. We tried once before about a month and a half ago not long after we met and it was really awkward. The kissing was super awkward but I decided to go with it because I was horny and I thought it might get better. He was the one who stopped things, explaining that it was too soon and he's not comfortable being physical with someone he doesn't know well. I spent the night though and we cuddled and chatted for hours.

But I don't know whether I should try sleeping with him again. I keep hanging out with him because he is really interesting. We seem to have potentially compatible fetishes and talking to him is a great outlet. But I know getting involved with him is a bad idea and that jumping on the opportunity to sleep with him would give him the upper hand. I have the feeling that if we did get involved he might get bored and move on since he's told me a few times that this has happened to him with girls in the past. Plus, neither of us are thinking about anything serious right now and I don't know I could sleep with him and keep my feelings out of the way. I told him all this and that I'd think about it.

I've already got two lovers right now, one from whom I'm getting more of an intellectual/romantic connection, and one with whom it's just sex. But both of these situations are temporary and deliberately so.

TL;DR: Flirting with a very cocky guy and who seems to keep taking the power in the relationship. Basically, I don't want to feel manipulated by him but I'm still interested in him. So seddit, how do I get back the power and still sleep with him? Is it possible? Should I just hold out until he seems more into me or just stop hanging out with him altogether? Is he just using me for my social group or my titillating sexual discussions?