1. You’re in the wrong place

For those of you that don’t know much about online dating, no matter what you are looking for trust me there is a site for it. I am not here to scam you for a dime, so please don’t waste your time on any site that is asking you to give up a penny considering all the options that you have. The only sites at this point I suggest are Pof, OkCupid, Datehookup.com, and the app Tinder. Aside from the listed sites, you are being thrown for a loop. These are the world’s most popular dating sites with plenty of selection and viewing options without being scammed.

  1. You Look like a Creep

Once you get past the initial sign up period the next problem is a subject everyone hates….your looks. Before we scare off the majority of the crowd, your looks don’t mean anything! How can that be? Yes, looks are the first thing that anyone sees especially in online dating, the thing is that it isn’t looking like Brad Pitt that is going to get you the girl just be well kept (shave, bathe, very simple). By no means do I consider myself a model I get results simply on looking like the fun person I am. Alert! Please I urge you to keep your shirt on. Shirtless pictures are a red flag screaming d-bag, by doing this you are shooting yourself in the foot off the jump. I also don’t recommend any mirror selfies (at least not for your main picture). To keep it short, have 3 to 4 pictures. A picture of you in some sort of social situation (avoid alcohol in the picture), a fully clothed shot showing your full body, and an everyday picture (showing you’re normal, please no serial killer facial expressions).

  1. You’re spending too much time on your messages

When I started I had the same problem you see a girl you like, you want to talk to her but you want her to like you too. So, in the process of reading her profile you think relating to her is going to get you the most brownie points. Next thing you end up sending her a book of how you both love Hunger Games, Coldplay, and painting with watercolors. Please don’t waste your time on this because if a girl looks and sees she isn’t attracted to you from your picture, where are you? That’s right, nowhere. Keep it simple (ladies cover your ears) have a preset message that peaks someone’s curiosity and blast it out.

  1. Your message screams you’re an a-hole

Now just because I said have some preset messages does not mean to be a terrible person. Please whatever you do don’t say any of the following:

What’s up?

Sup babe?

Nice ****

You look hot!

Let’s hook up

Unless your plan is to never get any ever in the future I’d avoid anything near those listed above (or keep doing it and making myself and others like me look good).

  1. You have no follow though

I’ll call this a more quality problem in that you are sending messages and getting some responses back but then you freeze as in you don’t know what to say next. What you need to do as soon as possible is to move from online to offline. This is not your second life; no one is here to get a virtual girlfriend you actually have to arrange plans to move things forward. Don’t chat back and forth too long because you’ll just be spinning your wheels wasting time. Get the phone number as soon as possible then call or text and work to set up a date before interest is loss. You won’t understand how key this lesson is until it you lose a couple girls you thought you really had something going on with.

  1. You are just too nice

Another silent killer the classic, being the “nice guy”, this is the whole Hi, um you’re cute I think we should hang out some time if that’s ok with you. This is the opposite side of the spectrum from being the a-hole but still gets you nowhere. You must understand that while you are peaking their interest in your message do not dance around the fact that you are openly hitting on them. Wake up! This is a dating site you are on, by talking to the girl at all they know that you are interested in them so please don’t waste your own time trying to become friends and learn every little thing about them before moving anything forward. The girl is not looking for a gay best friend they are looking for lust, love, or a combination of the two.

  1. Your profile gives hint that there is something wrong with you

I’ll be open and honest my profile doesn’t have a thing to do with me as a person. I think I’m honestly one of the weirdest people I’ve ever met but in a good way I’m told (haha). Your profile should most of all display your sense of humor. Since the girl is not there to interact with you with the profile that is your all on the line chance with the girl, so you should know better than tell her about your Star Wars figurine collection (unless you are really on the hunt for your Princess Liea and I picture you’ll be devoting your entire internet dating career to). Just be casual about everything you can mention what it is like to be you (the friendships you have, things you enjoy doing) but it is on you not to push too much in any area. Notice I did not say mention your job or your salary. If you want to flash a gold digger will be sure to find you, I’m not saying to lie in any way that is all on you, I’m just saying be careful into what someone is really interested if you post that you’re an investment banker making hundreds of thousands a year.

Hint: I’ve done some of my best work labeling myself as a simple office worker making 20k and below. Just something to think about, money isn’t everything here.

  1. The time is wrong

Everyone overlooks this and I can’t blame them. Why would the time of day be a factor? All I’ll say is they are mostly just like you doing the 9 to 5, so let’s say the ones that are really looking for a relationship may check before work, most all others will check later in the evening 7/8pm.

This isn’t the most crucial point but think about all the messages that are being received by the “dimes” online that everyone is after, if they are getting messages all day long when they sign on you know whose message they get first? The one who last sent one, which if you know when to send that could be you there on top of the list.

Really what I’m talking about in regards to time is Prime Time, majority of all number closes I get are Sunday Afternoons! Why Sunday? My mindset is that girls (especially those in their 20s) go out all weekend and party and dance with their friends. If they only met d-bags all weekend, come Sunday when they are waking up still alone with nothing to come from another weekend what are they thinking? They instantly pick up their phone and check if there is anyone really out there (and there you are on her dating app.

  1. Location, location, location

This is late in the list because it should be pretty obvious; all dating sites have searches and in these searches are radiuses. If you live in the middle of nowhere and have the search set to 5 miles you aren’t going to have much suggested because in population alone you have nothing to choose from around you. You need to widen your search to at least touch a town with population relative to give you a shot. It’s always in your favor to live in or near a major city, can’t hate having choice.

  1. The clock is ticking

Last but not least, really this is all about you I encourage you to do any form of internet dating at your own discretion. If you are staying up late at night or constantly checking your updates when you should be working on other things, it is counterproductive. The messages will still be there when you check later, don’t become addicted to this. Only use internet dating during your free time.

Final Thoughts:

Internet dating is nothing more than another portal to find women you want to include in your life story/journey. This is not a substitute for going out and interacting with and sharing experiences with others. Don’t make this more than it is, internet dating is just another tool, use it how you may.