i have a lot of steps down. i can engage with women, get numbers, have successful dates, etc but i’m doing something wrong at some point.

the thing is, these girls don’t really see me as merely a sexual partner. they want commitments, they see me as a bf and not as a casual lover, which is what i go for. i can see and feel the disappointment the moment i suggest we can get something casual going. i think part of this is because i’m bad at escalating sexually. i can get kisses but i think i make it much more romantic than it should and that messes up with the goal. i’m sure i could get the play I’m looking for if i wanted but i don’t feel comfortable ‘using’ or misleading the girls i go out with.

i think it’s obvious i should be honest about my intentions from the beginning but i have a hard time doing so, mainly because of the way that comes across. how do you get casual stands? how can i escalate and express myself sexually quickly?