I have a question in general and then a specific question. I try to pick my battles and not just automatically do whatever the girl I'm talking to wants me to do every the time (understand that I don't mean declining every invitation, but consenting to everything doesn't strike me as a great idea). What's the best way to turn a chick down and at the same time build interest? I know the act in itself can (after I deny a chick attention they usually come on stronger), but any tips?

Specifically: I've been off and on talking to a girl that lives about an hour away. Things happened in the past and it kind of cooled off, but I'm doing my own thing now with other girls that live around me. I feel like I accepted too many of her invitations in the past and she declined mine way more often (so mostly it was on her terms). I haven't asked her to do anything in ages but we still shoot the shit every now and then. She wants me to come out to a party for her graduation. I don't know any of the people there, it's costume themed, and again an hour away. She seems to want me to go pretty bad, but this could just as easily be a waste of time. Is not going the right play? And if so, is there any way that it can be to my advantage w/ her?