A big group of us (>30) took a trip over spring break to a foreign country where none of spoke the language (except for a few locals who led the trip). A good number of girls went but only a handful were available. One in particular stood out – she's hot (8.5/10) but bitchy and crazy, which meant she's not dating material so I didn't go the usual route of fantasizing about our lives together and fucking things up: the perfect opportunity to put some things into practice. I won't go into a narrative but I will point out some key moments (in rough chronological):

  • I responded to something she said complained about with a neg/tease that made her laugh and I noticed another guy gave a weird look as if to say "I can't believe he just said that." This gave me some validation to the fact that I wasn't treating her special and that I wasn't afraid to offend her.

  • A restaurant gave me a bottle of wine that we didn't drink so I took it with me and asked her to carry it (Ben Franklin Effect). I asked about it a day or two later and she said she was going to drink it herself since she had to carry it around. We ended up playing never have I ever along with her four friends and one of mine.

  • A bit minor, but her friends got separated from the main group and she texts me to see what was going on. I give her in touch with the group even though I'm back at the hotel. She tells me "you're the best" to which I respond "I know." Really minor but I'm proud that I came up with that instead of just a "thanks" or whatever. Thank you, Harrison Ford.

  • During the game it came out that I had a rather adventurous night one night and I don't remember her exact reaction but it was surprising to her.

  • I think that revelation helped put me in a sexual frame, which helped me for one of the following nights when we had a big party. We were both pretty drunk and towards the end of the night we start dancing. I take her away from the dance floor to a more private area of the room and she's grinding on me while I get as far as kissing her neck but her friends come looking for her and drag her away.

  • The next morning I wake up to a text from her from 7 AM telling me I'm blowing it. I didn't get a chance to talk to her that day and the following day I just text her asking what she and her friends are up to that day. A clear IOI or something else? Is this worth bringing up if I get a chance or should i just let it go?

  • Over that next day her and her friends are very cold to me, clearly mad about what happened. This lasted a day or two but they warmed up to me again.

  • Her friends were asking me who I've gotten with with in school and I told them one of the girls, they pulled up a picture (her friends knew the girl). The girl is hotter than the one in question and her friends approved but she made a negative comment about the girl's looks. Gained social proof from her and her friends but I think her comment came from her feeling threatened/jealous. I take this as a good sign.

  • She mentioned something about how she just likes knowing she can have a guy but then loses interest/doesn't care to get with him. Not sure if this was a dig but my plan of attack going forward will be to drop one or more disqualifiers so that she understands that she can't have me. I'm thinking something along the lines of how I dated a girl like her and she drove me crazy or even more aggressively something about how we wouldn't do well together (she's a tiny girl and I'm big in certain areas). Or I could play it hot/cold for a bit. Any ideas?

  • We had an appointment (the five girls, me and my friend) to get to and no one really knew how to get there except for me so I took charge in leading the group through a foreign subway. Not difficult at all but it seemed great to them and I was leading the group the whole time. I was 95% sure I was going the right way but I projected 100%. More social proof.

  • She loses the key to a locker at a club and freaks out that she's losing her favorite, very expensive jacket. One of the locals that was guiding us tells us that it's definitely gone, but I go find someone that works there who goes to look in the back, I bring her and a few other people with us to where the guy leads us and he comes out with the locker key. I saved the day once again.

I didn't quite close her, but I think I did enough to build attraction to leave the door open for the future (although I keep telling myself it doesn't matter if it doesn't). And even if nothing happens, these experiences were great in building my confidence and giving me more evidence that I can take charge of situations rather than letting someone else take charge, which is what I default to. I hope you guys get something out of this and would love to hear any thoughts/feedback on what I could have done differently and what I can do to move things along with her.