Hello really new to this whole pick up game. I thought maybe I give tinder/bumble a shot and I’m running into the wall of conversation. Keep in mind this was my crack at it and I’m looking for constructive criticism.

Main things are:

1) what to talk about in text 2) what to talk about leading up to the first date 3) what to talk about on the first date 4) what to talk about after and leading up to any following dates

I’ve have seen some posts on this subject, but I’m left with some questions. Basically it usually goes as followed

1) set up a date, don’t get to know her through text, which I’m finding difficult because all of them don’t want to go on a date if they haven’t talked to me for a bit. So I end up falling into this mistake of “getting to know her through text”

my question here is how to avoid it and what do I text about if not anything her or myself?

2) on the first date, so here I find that there are two camps. First camp, this is where you get to know her. Second is you wait till the third date to get to know her.

So I find that conversation tends to be interviewish if I go with the first camp. “Where do you work” and “what hobbies do you do in your free time” might as well put ask her “what skills can you bring to our team”

If I go with the second camp, I’m running into a lot of awkward silences with very little to talk about.

My first date went more like the first camp, it was very very dry both of us kinda asking questions which I would think to be good, but still dry. I found that I did most of the talking and trying to be engaging.

My question here is, what have you experienced if you are in camp one or two? What worked for you and what didn’t? Any tips on fixing any issues you ran into?

3) So after the first date I find it kinda weird I just don’t know what to say here. I made the mistake of being to boring and interview like in the first date so leading up to the second date there wasn’t a whole lot of texting. We did go on the second date then it turned out just like the first one.

Although I did try to let her lead some of the conversation by staying quite and letting her come up with a new tangent, which resulted in A LOT of awkward silence which I was okay with but I can tell she didn’t like it much.

I’m just looking for some advice and honest criticism of my experience.

Thank you for the time you took to read this!