What the hell is wrong with me?

bjstyrer · 2020-09-25T17:32:53+00:00

Perhaps your history and desires have made you aim for a perfection that deep down you feel you cannot live up to. If you feel like who you were before i.e. inadequate, it shines through in your behaviour and confidence.

What you feel like is way more important than what you are.

Try and look up "imposter syndrome". It sounds like you might have a bit of that.

MidnightPleaser44 · 2020-09-26T10:55:50+00:00

You said it yourself: being single for 1.5 yrs after a 7 yr relationship? You’re fresh out when you compare being single to your relationship. And even more, you’re 7 years outside of being alone. It will take time for your mind and body to adjust. I don’t know you, but the way you describe the situation doesn’t seem as though you are a perfectionist. Rather, I think your individual growth has been stunted after entering a relationship, and, now that you’re out of it and pursuing dating, you started to realize some of the mechanisms and behaviors from the past that weren’t as resolved as you believed them to be.

The fact that you “see” yourself from 4 years ago means that your perception of yourself is still rooted in a place of the past. Something that does not exist. You are no longer that person because you’ve seen life. You’ve learned, and grown. I think if you do a recap of all the positive lessons you’ve learned, socially, over the past 7 years it’ll do you good. It won’t be easy, but the goal is to force yourself to search out and give thanks to the positivity YOU exuded in your Life lessons. Take those positive attributes and use them when speaking with women going forward. You learned to love/cherish another person THROUGH that relationship, not BECAUSE of that relationship. You’re able to return to what you deem is functional, don’t worry :).

SoullessForever · 2020-09-25T17:09:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

_DaLi- · 2020-09-28T22:04:24+00:00

Don't underestimate seeing a professional theraphist. It seems like you only say you see yourself as high value, but you might not feel that way. Try to seek professional help so you can work on solving these underlying issues. You need to fully open up to somebody and tell him everything.

Title	What the hell is wrong with me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	September 25, 2020 4:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/izm6ie/what_the_hell_is_wrong_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-me.1293703 https://theredarchive.com/post/1293703

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