So there's this guy in our friend circle. He isn't really an alpha, and most people in our circle don't like him, mainly because he's fucking loud, obnoxious and racist. He's a bi-polar jerk, really.

For some reason, I'm fucking terrified of him. I spend half the day stressing about when I have to see him. If I owe him something like money I'm scared shitless that he'll say something. I'm not scared that he's going to fight me, in fact, I WANT him to throw a punch so that I can knock him block off, yet I'm fucking terrified he'll say something to me. I'm literally scared that he'll say something, or that he'll be angry at me.

It's irrational as hell but I can't stop it. I'm apparently terrified of conflict, and it's manifesting itself with this one guy. It's gotten to the point where he's literally controlling my life without even knowing it.

I know this isn't really seddit related, but this does have to do with inner game. Please help seddit, how do I deal with this?