Why are inexperienced guys' first instinct, when attracting a girl, to be dumb/overly-silly and slightly immature around them? Where does this stem from? Is it just encoded in our DNA until we learn otherwise?

lifework · 2014-01-09T00:11:24+00:00

same as most things: ego defense.

if she rejects you, she rejected that overly-silly and 'dumb' persona, not the real you. that's why being emotionally vulnerable is both infinitely harder and infinitely more valuable.

HappyJerk · 2014-01-09T00:53:08+00:00

When man is in the presence of a woman he is in the grip of an insane desire to have sex with her, and also to "provide" for her. Both of these emotions make men's IQ drop like 50 points. If you can somehow repress these instincts you will be able to speak to a woman on a more intellectual level and she will like you.

Also, a lot of it is just misogyny and false teachings by society, where guys think the only way to connect with a girl is by talking about frivolous shit and baby-talk.

2014-01-09T01:06:33+00:00

Ultimately, it comes down to insecurity. That insecurity might manifest in many different ways, but it's basically insecurity. An unwillingness to just be direct and manly.

("oh noez but m4nliness is subj3ctive!1!11!" fuck you go to r/askmen and bitch about the term "manly" there).

These guys are beating around the bush because they're afraid to truly put themselves on the line. Take "dancing monkey syndrome", aka "I'm going to say retarded jokes in hopes that one of them lands well". They're basically communicating, "I don't consider myself worthy of you, so I'm going to put on a shitty performance and hope it works". Rather than taking the responsibility for the interaction by being a leader and just being direct, they're metaphorically saying, "if you like what you saw, feel free to put on a strapon and fuck me in the ass. I don't want to take responsibility because I'm afraid of my ego getting damaged".

I don't know if it's a DNA or genetic thing or whatever the root biological cause is. But at least psychologically, it's basically insecurity.

I probably could've worded this post more eloquently with less insults, but whatever, I'm really high right now from broccoli.

kingcal · 2014-01-09T03:37:20+00:00

Dancing monkey routine. They only think they can attract a girl if they entertain her, so they act like chickens with their heads cut off.

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