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[–]IWriteForGroupies 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I can see this going wrong in so many ways, but I guess it depends on the person. Can you give me a brief summary of the person you are trying to date and why this is an idea?
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
We chatted about our hobbies, and i mentioned that I run. She said that she should exercise too, but she's too lazy and doesn't have a company. So I invited her to exercise with me, and she accepted.
This is okay, but again, on the same level as going to a movie. You're either doing the workout right and neglecting her or neglecting the workout in favor of her.
[–]PlanZSmiles 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If it's running, most experienced runners can run at a decent pace and hold a conversation. It's tough but I've been on one of these dates.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Right. But this girl probably couldn't do that. And the guy doing that would possibly make things awkward.
[–]PlanZSmiles 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah you're right didn't read that she didn't already exercise. Still he can turn it in his favor if the flirting between them is really natural
[–]IWriteForGroupies 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is something that could be done with a friend. Does she know that this is a date?
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]IWriteForGroupies 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I recommend mentioning the word date to make sure that it is an exact 100 percent.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
But from the context of our conversation (flirting) it's 100% clear that be both see it as a date.
Look. One doesn't make it clear that it's a date through conversation. That's awkward. In fact, mentioning the word, "date" is unnecessary and inadvisable because then both of you will be more likely to overthink shit.
There a fundamental idea called physical escalation/kino, in the sidebar. This is not controversial. You can talk the talk, but unless you walk the walk, nothing will really happen.
Until you make it clear though actions, it's not as clear as you think. I've had and seen many interactions and the ones that went smoothly and naturally, didn't have someone needing to state it's a date.
Fact is, going to the gym isn't a proper way to start. Is it possible to leave time to so something else after? If not, you ought to make sure to schedule a better hang out activity during the workout. Something more conducive to interacting with her.
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No don't do it.
Don't do any date where the date is you doing her a favor. Did she bring it up or you? If she did, it's a bad idea. You are not her trainer.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't see it as doing her a favor.
It doesn't matter how you see it. It matters how SHE sees it. This is a convenient "date" for her because 1) it's not really a date, 2) it's you doing her a favor, 3) it's something she was gonna do anyway so she literally is making no effort whatsoever or investing in you in any way, 4) she is taking control and making the plans, an immediate no-no, 5) she is using you for something and she isn't giving anything back.
Don't do it.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Would it be a good idea?
Workouts are usually kind of personal and individualized.
And because of the nature of the activity, you're likely going to cheapen the workout or skimp on the interaction with her.
I'd put this on a similar level as watching a movie with her in a theater. Except if you asked a girl to the movies, there wouldn't be a possibility (however slim) that she thought you were dog-whistling that she's out of shape.
You can do better.
[–]iskander_the_great 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Help her stretch after the run, it would be good for physical contact and escalate. Also try to go for a drink after the workout
[–]alittlesadnow -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Physical activities are great. Usually in the gym guys have different goals to girls. That means less talk, interaction, kino and attraction.
Something active you can do together is much better.
Kayaking, hiking, running in the park, looking for stray cats.
Doesn't matter really what it is as long as it's fun, semi-enguaging and interesting
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]alittlesadnow 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How big of a difference between levels?
I've climbed a mountain with a girl that's not as fit. Been on a run with a girl that's better at running than me. Both times we found a happy medium.
Usually it ends up with a bit of friendly banter.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alittlesadnow 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If she's young and has an active job you'll be fine. I wouldn't be pushing for world records, just have fun.
Is this a first date? If it is I hope you have some good report or know that's she's cool before. It would be a struggle if she's not compatible with you
We'll be doing an orieteering run. The distance is about 4 miles, and the possible problem is that we have different levels of fitness.
You should have been more clear about this in the OP. Everyone has been thinking this was a gym meetup because you said "workout."
That said this is still a poor way to start off. You're either going to be bored hanging back with her, or neglecting her. And she's going to feel bad and outclassed because she's probably going to be aware that she's holding you back.
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[–]IWriteForGroupies 2 points3 points4 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PlanZSmiles 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PlanZSmiles 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IWriteForGroupies 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]IWriteForGroupies 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iskander_the_great 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alittlesadnow -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]alittlesadnow 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alittlesadnow 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link