Workplace dating?

2022-09-17T19:27:39+00:00

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GotThaAcid5tab · 2022-09-17T21:46:45+00:00

I’m currently involved with a girl from work for about a month.. but she made all the moves. I wouldn’t chance it if it was the other way round.

It’s fine most the time. She’s leaving soon so we are wondering what’s going to happen but she seems serious. If there is some tension or unresolved disagreement between us work can be quite awkward and miserable. Luckily I don’t think she’s much of a game player (which could be disastrous) but I could be proven wrong.

It’s also got tense at the last work drinks. Sounds pathetic but it can feel a bit shit if she has other male colleagues she’s giving attention to.. I very nearly broke things off because of that. Still considering it depending on what I observe.

Communication is key though.. just like any relationship.

louielouie222 · 2022-09-17T23:34:04+00:00

I gotta say, I disagree with the “absolutely nothing at work” policy. I mean obviously you don’t approach it the same way you do in a bar, lmao. But so many people have met their partner at the office, much more than have gotten in trouble me for it, contrary to what it may feel like. This is why I posted in the first place, I think if you have a careful, friends first approach, you can meet someone. But it’s just tricky.

2022-09-18T04:32:58+00:00

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2022-09-17T17:46:06+00:00

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recyclablebanthas · 2022-09-20T11:44:59+00:00

1

It seems that a lot of people didn't bother reading the rules before commenting. One of the common off topic responses involves the over generalization that no one should ever date anyone at work. This is false.

It's perfectly fine to date people no matter where you're meeting them.

What is inadvisable is trying to build your social skills up from zero at the workplace. If you already know what you're doing and you can be careful and level-headed about it, it's perfectly fine to date coworkers.

Just keep it clean and discreet and screen out unstable people.

2

I recently started at a large company where, tbh, I’m around more attractive women than I’ve been since like high school…

This job matters to you it's very important that you observe a certain amount of discretion at work no better way for your trying to do here.

3

I’m super busy so don’t go out a lot....

This is a different problem and one that you're not going to solve by trying to date around at work.

You need to prioritize creating an social life for yourself. If all you're doing is going to work and going to bed, then something's going to give and again, you can't solve it by dating co-workers.

4

.... but I’m in a weird space in the office, feel uncomfortable asking someone out or even touching them on the arm lol.

You act as if touching someone on the arm is the smallest thing when actually you are turning up the volume quite a bit just touching someone on the arm, especially in the workplace. In the workplace, that kind of touch is as obvious as a pro basketball player walking in crowds in Japan.

5

Has anyone hooked up/ dated successfully in the professional workplace? What did you do differently than other settings?

To get into more detail with what I already mentioned:

A: Keep it professional.

Don't try to physically escalate on people in the workplace nor are you going to be talking dirty.

Note: Talking dirty as an opening gambit doesn't really help you outside the workplace either. Escalation is physical. Not verbal.

B Good conversation is good conversation.

Actively listen to people and strive to have good follow-up on things people say.

Which means asking about people and getting them to talk about themselves.

C: Be discreet.

Even if something is starting to develop, play it really cool and keep touches as professional and discreet as possible in the workplace.

D: Screen out unstable people

This cannot be understated. Unstable people should be screened out.

How to do that? Listen for red flags:

Red flag #1: She portrays herself as not in control of her life. She'll constantly talk about her life as if events and things always happen to her and she has no control over what's going on. Things are always happening to her. She's always depending on others to save her in some way.
Red flag #2: **She spends a lot of time complaining about people. Talks shit about everyone behind their back.
Red flag #3: She overshares about her personal life. Lack of discretion means whatever happens between you two will be advertised to potentially anyone in the workplace.
Red flag #4: She may even admit to drama. A lot of people who are unstable will literally tell people the score up front within the first couple weeks of meeting them.

Title	Workplace dating?
Author	louielouie222
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	September 17, 2022 5:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xgsrl2/workplace_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/workplace-dating.1249846 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249846

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