I've been on Seddit for a few weeks, read some material, and I've decided to start making a change. My main goal is to become more confident in myself and be the guy everyone wants to be friend with. Also, secondarily, find a serious relationship. But, I have Oneitis. Not gonna lie. The story: My girlfriend and I were together for 2.5 years. After the end of the second year, things started getting a little sour. This was mostly my fault. Due to insecurities/paranoia I would say off-handed things like "You're probably going to end up cheating on me in college" and "You're probably just like every other woman - a cheater" Things like that. Yet, this was all subconscious. These things would be said in passing and became such a facet of our relationship, that I don't have any recollection of saying it "on a daily basis" as she put it. This came to a boiling point, where at the end we finally had a huge fight, with lots of emotions, and I ended up breaking up with her. A few days in, I realized how much I missed her. And needed her. I became so dependent on her. 5 days into the break up, I asked to meet her to get her stuff back. We ended up going on a walk, and I acknowledged that a lot of the break up was my fault, and that I was the one causing the problems. I told her I would change, and she believed me. So, we continued. It was great for a week. Until she went to College. Things weren't the same when she went to College. After me being her only friend for so long and begin the one she spent everyday with, she now wanted to have other friends and her life. We agreed that we would see each other every weekend, since she only lived 20 minutes away, but that began to crumble and she wanted to spend more time apart. This carried on for a while. Our new relationship was much more bumpy and up and down. Last month she confessed that she didn't love me anymore. The attraction was not there. A few weeks after she said that, her love and fire came back again, only to be diminished a week ago. That's when we broke up. Another big fight. She said she didn't care about me anymore and that I was needy and smothering, even though I don't feel like I was. Her interaction with me was much different than it had been in the past and that's what caused me to bring up the poor quality of our relationship, which led to this fught . So we broke up. We've only texted once or twice casually since then. But, I'm still madly in love with her. Even though I knew she didn't much care for me anymore. She said she needed a break, to be her own person. I said I would text her in a few months and ask her on a date and that she would have the right to say yes or no. In that time, I want to make a change. I want to become someone she wants to be with.

tl;dr Ex and I broke up a week ago after years of subconscious abuse and a previously painful break up before this. Has anyone tried approaching their ex after become more confident and "alpha"?