If you were just 4 years old, you would have just walked up to another kid, or girl, without overthinking at all, just on pure impulse with pure curiosity on her and without caring what result doing that brings you. The same way a kid touches a frog with a stick not to get a specific outcome, but to see what the frog does as he is just curious...

You would have offer them to play with you and if they didn't wanna play, you would not have assumed it's because you are not good enough to play with because a 4 year old kid isn't even aware of "leagues" or "her looks being too much for him". A little kid of that early age just sees another human, he has not developed the capacity to put women on a pedestal because of their looks yet.. If the person you approached did not give you attention or said not interested in playing now, your 4 year old self would not have begin to question his own worth.

Your 4 year old self simply had not learned yet to be afraid of rejection and that's the KEY when it comes to engaging with women.

At most, in the worst case scenario, he would have instead being curious to know why that kid is not in the mood without thinking it's about him... At most, he would have thought that kid was not in the mood due to something that has to do with her, not with him. And that is at most, because most probably your younger self would have just brushed it off and get distracted by the next thing that catches his eye. A new toy for example.

Fact is for a kid it would have been a game, not a test of his worth. He would have treated talking to people the same way they treat playing with legos. If the tower they build with legos falls, they wouldn't question his worth or think they are not good enough. Similarly, if a girl didn't show interest or told htem she had a boyfriend, or that they only see him as a friend, they would not have assumed they were not good enough.

They didn't have the capacity to really internalize rejection when they are so young as an inherent reflection of their worth.

Now you are older, full of hestiation, doubts, fears, anxieties, filters, and outcome-dependence.... Things that you learned because you weren't always like this. You had to learn the toxic belief that:

"lack of interest from another particular person = something inherently wrong with you"

So you forgot that there was a time you simply embodied the feeling of worthiness, even if others rejected your offer to play.

Your 4 year old self was more free, charismatic and authentic, not because he didn't experience desintirest from others, but because it simply was not capable yet of assuming that desinterest was something that had to do with him or what he supposedly lacks. Its like animals, animals don't feel unworthy, they just exist and can't think of flaws.

A little kid is the same. A little kid would walk up to any person with curiosity and say "i like ur hair" without any shame, without caring what the other person would say and without an agenda... Simply because it was his genuine thoughts.

And now you're here overthinking saying hi because in your mind it's creepy to tell a girl something like: "Hi, i wanna be honest. I approach you because I like your style, and i know I would regret it if i didn't try to get to know you real quick.. My name is x..."

You had bad experiences and that's why you started to doubt yourself and feeling lesser, but it's not how society treated you, it's how you digested it and interpreted that treatment at the time. If your parent's weren't there to reassure you that not everyone has to like you and that's ok, then you assume that you had to be liked by everyone and that if you couldn't get everyone to like you, it's because you are flawed.

When you interact with women, it's about not needing to prove yoru worth, not needing to impress her, not needing to get her approval or validation, it's about being so comfortable in your own skin that you simply don't feel the need to justify yourself or compensate, you simply double down on your identity unapologetically and focus on what matters instead, "am i having fun interacting and playing with this girl?"

And obviously, once you put yourself out there you need to learn how to start conversations, how to flirt, how to escalate, which can all be studied here, but the difference is you are now engaging in conversations with girls as a game where your skills can help you play it better, isntead of treating conversations with girls as an existential debate of your wortht as a man.

When you do that, it's not lie you will stop getting rejected by all, because that's not possible, but what will happen is that you will stop giving a shit if rejection happens because you would have made peace with it, and stop assuming that rejection = you are unworthy. Instead you would brush it off no problem. And that makes you free to talk to women and try more which is the key towards getting more opportunities.

Sorry, if my wirrting has mistakes by the way. Not a native speaker.