just found out today that I have to start paying child support and arrears to my verbally and physically abusive STBXW.

The court system was down since our hearing on 7/15, and just got the orders today (2 days before its due).

I'll have to start paying on 8/1, 2x per month, including arrears from April until July, even though I lived at home in April, you still have to pay for the month the divorce was filed apparently, and even though I was forced out of the marital home for my safety after dodging 3 silver bullets, and even though I still paid half of a mortgage and utilities for 2 months, plus my rent after moving to a new roach infested apartment in the projects, of which $0 of the mortgage payments will be used for back payment to cover arrears or past CS.

This is after living in my car for a week, spending 1.5 weeks in Airbnbs with my only savings, checking into psychiatric facility for a week so I could have a bed, food and therapy.

And even though she makes almost 20k more than me, and I can't even have more than 2 overnights until October. Even though I have over 15k debt that I have to find a way to pay back, and a retainer refill request likely coming down the pipeline.

Even though I have to do pickups and drop-offs since she doesnt have a car, during prime LA rush hour, spending around 2.5 of my 'custodial 4.5 hours' in the car, costing me almost $50/week in travel - and I drive an electric vehicle.

I cant wait to start paying my former abuser monthly. I hope the money goes towards our child.