I've known a friend now for 10 years. So, for the explanation of why I call him a "Stray-Dog", let's look at the litters he's sired.

  • 17 years old, thinks he's in love with "Small-Town Sally" (dumb, uneducated small-town hillbilly girl), gets her knocked up. Out pops puppy #1. He does the right thing, marries her, supports them, tries to make it work, but she treats him like garbage and so they divorce.

  • 19 years old, divorced with 1 kid and finds another "Small-Town Sally". They begin dating. Suuuuuuuure enough, he gets her preggo after 6 months or so. Out pops puppy #2. He does the right thing, decides to marry the realtree-camo wearing bride and tries to make it work. Well, this redneck bride is typical corn-pone trash and treats him like shit, acts violent and abusive and has pill problems (typical small-town stock where I'm from). He divorces her, but stays in the kid's life because he's a decent fellow.

  • 21 years old, 2x divorced with two kids from two marriages with 2 child support payments. My buddy finds another girl, they begin dating. Aaaaaaaaaand of course, he knocks her up after 4 or 5 months, if my memory serves me correctly. This time? He gets extra lucky. Surprise! She's preggo with twins! And wouldn't you know it? She's from a crazy white trash family that turns her against him, and it doesn't work out after 2 years. They never marry, but it didn't work either.

  • 23 years old, 4 kids from 3 women with two divorces. Like a "Stray-Dog" he kept running around, leaving pups everywhere he went.

Last year he came over to my place and was at rock-bottom. He broke down and began sobbing uncontrollably into his liquor. He'd gained 30 lbs, and said he felt like not waking up in the morning. Said he hated himself, and hated being around his exes and all the drama they put him through. I told him to couch surf for a month and get his shit together. I strongly encouraged him to get a vasectomy (which he later did). I sat there and watched him delete any web dating site he was registered to, and I asked him who he was flirting with on Facebook. Watched him delete a bunch of small-town skanks off of FB and told him to log off FB while he was staying with me. Slowly I indoctrinated him by having him eat better while he stayed with me, and made him go workout when he'd get off work. Helped him dress better, and told him to have his lawyer draw up a "terms" document that basically told his skank, white trash baby mamas that he will not respond to any texts or phone calls and that the only contact they were to have with him was about visitation scheduling changes.

Fast forward another year, and he's lost weight, working a better job where he's been promoted once already, and he's legitimately happy. Dresses like a refined, successful professional. He says he doesn't give two shits about women, and doesn't even talk to his exes, except for "okay, I'll be back at 5" small talk when he visits his kids.