Hey guys, I am 17 an currently attend high school in New York. I've been absorbing red pill knowledge through YouTube, Reddit, movies, and books for about three years now. Contrary to my name, I DO NOT have down syndrome, I thought it was a funny name, don't judge me too hard XD!

Anyway, when I first learned of MGTOW, I was scared that everything being said was true of the women that I had socialized with. It were as if Sandman, MGTOW 101, and TFM had been spectating my every interaction with females and got the overall gist of how they treated me. My biology took over and I became defensive of the blue pill programming I had experienced due to being raised by a single mother in the west. I will come back to this after I give some context.

I was still in touch with my father and seen him on weekends and called throughout the week. He would give me advice on dealing with females which didn't seem red pill at the time. However, when I evaluated his words, it sounded like it was from a man who had understood female nature well, but voluntarily threw himself into the cesspool that is marriage. He is turning 46 this year, and has second divorce to my stepmom has been finalized. When talking to me about the divorce, my father explained to me that he had no intention to do this again. He said he wanted to focus on doing all the things he has wanted to do and being more involved in me and my brothers life, as his second wife resented me and my brother (different story for a different time if you all would like to hear it).

For most of my childhood, females were like a puzzle. If you like them, you don't show it much, but you show it a little which makes them more attracted. If they play hard to get, don't call or text, but if they get mad at you, buy them something. When on a date, be a gentleman, but a little bit of an A hole to show them they aren't the priority. If she has been with a lot of guys before you, then you're just next in line, and she won't be loyal. If she hasn't been with a lot of guys then she will be insecure and feel like she won't be good enough for you and the relationship will be hell or she will leave once she feels she can do better. The dating game became a game I just didn't want to play with all of these extra steps to secure female validation. I loved sports, video games, and my academics. All of which seemed preferable to the games the females around me played.

With that out of the way, I first stumbled across MGTOW 101 who was in my YouTube feed. The first video a saw (heard) was a recording of a man leaving his manipulative partner. I'll spare you the details, but the gist was that to go your own way was freedom, and constantly seeking female validation was servitude. I didn't understand MGTOW but I wanted to. So I put MGTOW in the search bar and BOOM, there it was, countless videos from the manosphere that was this community. I would listen to TFM, Sandman, Kurama, Happy Humble Hermit, and others. I knew that what they said went against everything I was told as well as my biology. However I couldn't stop listening. I listened when I did chores, homework, jogging, on the bus, I listened religiously. I was curious on how men could just walk away from their biological imperative and society's standards.

I continued dating, and began connecting the dots, I realized that these content creators weren't all that extreme but just aware. My last relationship (if you can even call it that) was terrible. I was smitten with this girl that I met through a mutual friend. I was so into her, she was physically an eight out of ten and new how to make me feel good without physical contact. We would talk for hours and say all the cute romantic teenage crap, when we saw each other at school, we would be physical by holding hand, hugging, forehead and cheek kisses. I was taken by her. Whenever someone asked if we were together she would say, " Were thinking about it", but there was nothing to think about for me. I deeply cared for her, but she wasn't fully invested like I was. She was a narcissist and never allowed me to go one second without focusing on here when she was around. That favor was never returned because she preferred talking to friends if I wanted attention. I wanted to be with her so bad that I ignored it. We never had sex even though it was clear that we would both enjoy it. The more time I spent with her, the more clear it became that she was mentally unstable. I watched her lose interest to the point that we were both hanging on to something that wasn't there.

There was a school dance that I asked her to attend with me, she agreed. When we were there, the whole night she was upset, and refused to enjoy herself. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing countless times. I decided she wouldn't ruin my fun, so i danced and talked with friends. At the end of the night, she was missing and a friend told me she was dancing with another guy before she left. I figured that she wanted to be free and I was tired of being in a lifeless relationship. so I shot her a text saying it was best that we just walk away. I wasn't angry, sad, upset, just tired. I walked away and didn't look back.

I was never in a hurry to get into another relationship after that, and my parents began to notice. My mother would constantly ask me if I were interested in a girl, when I said no, she would ask if I liked boys. I thought it was sincere curiosity, I now know that its shaming as she does it constantly now. Two years later, I lift weights and have gained 20 pounds in muscle, improved reading skill, multiple academic accolades, future internships, praised athlete all because I focused on myself. I know there will be a lot of concern as to if I should accept the red pill lifestyle at such a young age. I can say that I have been told by many adults that mentally, I am very mature and have surpassed most of my peers. Not trying to be arrogant or anything, but I just don't see life like most of my friends and the people around me. I don't like the mental hoops females have made me jump through, I like doing things that will secure my future rather than get me temporary laughs and approval from society. Girls ask me if i'm looking to date, when I tell them no, there faces twist like a Vincent van Gogh painting. At times I do feel lonely and like i'm missing out, but I realize that I would be playing a losing game to start dating again. I will always have my hobbies and friends.

If you made it this far, thank you for sticking with me and reading this bible of a post! Thank you to everyone who contributes to this subreddit by informing and looking out for each other, this is a brotherhood and we might be all we have in this world. Continue to be better, welcoming to all that enter this community, and never lose who you are because this world is launching an offense against your masculinity and your right to solitude.

Stay strong brothers, godspeed.

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