Both Pre and Post-Red Pilling, we've all been through the process of watching a relationship with a woman we'd rather keep around slowly wither and die. It doesn't take a whole lot of red pilling to understand the culprit: she lost attraction. The Red Pill is great for explaining why her attraction died, but this post is more about the process of going from infatuation to dead bedroom/exit; consider this the how.

Like many things Blue Pill, they get some things right but fatally misunderstand key elements of core or foundational tenets which ultimately crumble their entire house of cards. For example, with the exclusion of shit-tier betas, most Blue Pill men will understand the necessity of some degree of game early in the courtship (even if they can't quite verbalize it or analyze specifically what works)- but these same men will drop all semblance of game, the embodiment of power- what created her attraction in the first place, in favor of being themselves, when shit gets real and the old I LOVE YOU comes into play.

Problem #1: Blue Pill Barry believes I LOVE YOU in the equivalent of a semi-permanent verbal contract, and, once uttered, it would require a tremendous amount of faux-legal maneuvering to destroy and undo (only the most naive of Blue Pill men believe this to be a permanent contract).

Reality: A woman's love only speaks to the moment she initially utters the words, and as time goes on, these words may become increasingly meaningless and routine. I'd bet the house that on the day before a woman leaves forever she provided all the right words, at the most routine moments (ie: leaving the house, ending a phone conversation). After the first time, the words I LOVE YOU quickly lose value.

Now, this doesn't mean that her love must necessarily diminish as a long-term relationship moves forward- only that looking to her use of the actual words I LOVE YOU as any kind of indicator of your relationship status is a waste of time.

So, exactly how do you know where your relationship stands with a woman? A curious issue indeed! Again, if left to the clueless Blue Pill Barry, he would gauge the status of his relationship (and her attraction to him) by looking to her words (I LOVE YOU) but also by weighing the cumulative merit of his actions throughout the course of the relationship.

Don't worry, Blue Pill Barry, we've all been there.

Problem #2: Blue Pill Barry believes that a relationship is a lot like the justice system (or, okay, how the justice system should ideally be), where the blindfolded statue is holding the scale and being totally objective in alignment with what should be fair in the relationship. Blue Pill Barry seems to think that even if there were fuck ups, or if he's dealing with some hard times, or if the relationship has lost a lot of sexual momentum, or if she has obvious other suitors, that the girl will mentally scroll through a list of the good things Barry has done for her, remembering them forever, while understanding that these actions indicate the degree to which Barry cares, and therefore Barry is highly attractive as the most desirable long term mate.

Poor Barry is gonna have to learn the hard way...

Not-Quite Reality: Traditional Red Pill thought is that all relationship equity is temporal. That whatever good is done only exists in that moment and vanishes rather quickly. This isn't exactly a bad way of looking at things- it certainly leads to a man keeping his mind focused on providing value, maintaining personal value, and gaming the world until he's dead in his grave. This is all necessary in maintaining a favorable power dynamic in the relationship and a high degree of female respect- two important components in relationship management.

Blue Pill Barry goes wrong by thinking the good things he did, that may have been rewarded in the moment, permanently matter. That if Barry does his girlfriend's English Lit paper, and she rewards him with a blow job- already a stupid move, but Barry's an idiot- that this will be remembered forever. And, of course, it's forgotten by the next day...

So, if Barry is going wrong by thinking that a) the good he does is buying him permanent relationship points, and b) is entirely misguided on what is even considered good, and what actually serves as true currency to buy these points, how exactly does True Relationship Equity work if maybe the system isn't quite as temporal as we maybe think?

I believe there is a subconscious scoring system at work where points do accumulate when the correct behavior is displayed (value, power, needlessness) but can be lost at a slightly higher rate of exchange when incorrect, or unfavorable, behavior is displayed (loss of value, powerlessness, need).

The cornerstone of any healthy relationship is good, masculine sex. If she isn't desiring you consistently out of pure, human animal urge, the relationship is already waning. Masculine sex does not mean supplicating to her orgasm, even if asshole Barry is "good with his tongue, baby." Masculine sex can be pulling her by the hair, onto her knees, and making her suck your dick. Masculine sex could be teasing her and telling her NO when she begs. Masculine sex can be denying her orgasm, or only rewarding her with an orgasm when she really deserves it. I would say a necessary component of masculine sex is keeping her satisfied without looking like you're trying to keep her satisfied (the opposite of Barry's tongue-based approach). In short, if the dynamic is on the side of her valuing your orgasm over her own, you're in the right.

And say you're keeping up with your sexual responsibilities, even if that sometimes is only about forcing a blow job on the bathroom floor, for a good length of time- lets maybe assign each sex act 25 points... these points will accumulate (but are never permanent). The practical theory here is that if she can look back on a three-month span and feel sexually satisfied, wild with desire, with a sex-rate of 4-5 times per-week, it's highly doubtful that she's going to be ready to flake on you(1).

However, even if she can look back on those three red-hot months of great sex, and even if you accumulated 2000+ points of relationship credit with her, the exchange rate of taking of hit of emasculation can be devastating to the tune of 10x the credit you accumulate with your mad sexual skills. So, say something really embarrassing happened- something that maybe didn't entirely shatter her fantasy of you as King Alpha (in which case, game over- total loss of all points), but certainly made her question your masculinity (a massive loss of frame)- this may result in a 1000+ point hit depending on the severity of the offense(2).

Point being, it's good to remember that frame loss/emasculation creates far more damage, and far quicker, than the comparatively slower build of relationship equity through various displays of power and value.

I don't think all women are necessarily looking to leave, and I don't think that any value accumulation exists in that moment alone, but if the faster accumulating misdeeds of emasculation outweigh the slow build of power, your points may hit the negatives, in which case the relationship is over.

1: Hypergamy is hypergamy, and if a woman is confronted with a man who is, at least acting as though, he's interested in taking her on in the long-term, it's gonna be a wrap.... however, I do believe this is unlikely for most average women; as long as your points accumulated are on the far side of positive, it's unlikely that most women are meeting someone far more valuable, who is approaching them with a good enough deal for them to leave you; it's possible, but, I believe unlikely for most women. Maintaining your value and power is key in preventing this.

2: This isn't scientific, as far as the assignment of point value- it's just the idea that a single act of emasculation isn't always a devastating relationship ender, but these acts certainly hurt far more than every-day displays of power and masculinity.

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