Summary: The harder to reach, the higher your value.

 

Intro: This is my own original concept, so don't take everything written here as 100% truth. Absorb my theory and adapt it to your own world view.

Last week I was visiting my grandparents and observing the usual arguments that ensue. My cousin who lives with them began telling me about how nice our grandmother was when he first moved in. Time passed and she got used to seeing him. After a while the shit tests started and problems would arise.

So he began limiting his time at the house and the problems slowly stopped. In contrast, my other cousin who also lives there chooses to spend most of his time in his room, giving my grandparents plenty of opportunities to see him. Now all of their complaints seem to be about him.

 

Body:
When you spend time with a person, it means that at the moment your time is equally valuable. When someone wants to hang out with you it shows that they value your time, and saying no sends the message that your time is too valuable for them right now. This is the stage that you want to achieve with most people.

 

Let’s discuss this with different relationship examples.

 

Family

For those of you that live away from home, whether in college or on your own, think about how nice your parents are when you visit. Spending most of your time at home around family shows that you have nothing going on. You can spend all day at home and friends/girls will have no idea what you’re up to, making it easy to fake your value. This can’t be done with family, and it’s essential that you limit your time at home to prevent unnecessary drama.

When visiting family I bring my laptop and get work done while everyone watches TV. When everyone is socializing or eating I close my laptop and join in. This shows that my time is too valuable to sit around and watch TV with them, but that I do value our quality time.

 

Friends

Think about how losers have loser friends, and winners have cool friends. Losers hang out together because their time is equally worthless, and vice versa for winners. The key to having cool friends is to limit your time and eagerness to hang out. At the same time, you need to have interesting topics to talk about that shows you’re out hustling or doing fun things. Real recognize real, and winners want winner friends, so show that you have stuff going on in your life.

I have friends I that talk game with, friends that I talk business with, and friends that I party with. When I see my game friends we talk about girls that we’re currently gaming. With my hustler friends we talk about our schemes. Everyone needs to have a few schemes by the way, if you aren’t making money then get on it. With my party friends I talk about fun events that I went to. Know your audience and what makes them tick. Talk about doing things that are valuable to them and they will respect you.

 

Girls
Don’t be the guy that replies to texts immediately. Don’t be the guy who’s always asking to hang out. And don’t be the guy who texts first to hang out.

I’m not going to go in-depth with this topic just yet. Be scarce, be aloof, and be interesting. Girls want to spend time with a cool guy that does his own thing. You can fake it but your results will drastically improve when girls can sense that your time is actually valuable.

 

Business

Always look busy when you’re at work. People will be less likely to bother you with useless nonsense, and when they do, quickly disengage so they are less likely to do so in the future. The next paragraph only applies to those of you with jobs that can be done from home. If your job requires you to be in the field for 8 hours then skip this paragraph.

Can you finish your work in a few hours, but your boss requires you to be present for the full eight? Tell them you are going to do your job from home. If they refuse then offer to try it for a few days and if it doesn’t work out you will come back. This will give you more free time and make your presence in the office more valuable on the days that you need to come in.

 

Lessons Learned:
– Don’t spend too much time at home
– Limit your time with friends
– Have interesting things to talk about
– Limit your availability with girls
– Work from home

 

The Mindful Alpha Blog