As a 21 YO male , I’m just tired of what life has to offer . It’s fucking boring , it’s just an endless cycle of doing the same shit every single fucking day . Sometimes I wonder if I’m battling depression , bi-polar , schitzo , psychosis or some mental illness that I do not want to get treated for . All my life , When a problem arised , I just kept it to myself and ,hopefully ,I would overcome it . I don’t like talking to family about problems bc we all have them and giving them more to burden is something I don’t want to do .

Right now I’m in my last semester of community college and will be the first in my family to finish but I still have a long way to go to get an Accounting degree . It sucks being from a poor family in America . All your parents’ money goes to bills and shit needed to survive . I’ve had jobs since I was 16 but haven’t been successfully maintaining them ( always quitting after 3 months for stupid ass reasons ) . Just recently , I got hired for A SHITTY JOB that my dad told me to avoid . I thought I could handle it but was proven wrong ... All because I wanted some money and it’s been a struggle finding a job for 2+ years in my small town ...

My sex life is a joke atm . I’m in a year drought and every cold approach Ends in a rejection . I’ve slept w 9 girls in my entire life . Sometimes I wonder if I’m even good looking and just being delusional when it comes to girls that may “ show an interest “ in me .. Every girl I see I automatically assume , “ I can fuck that bitch “ or “ I need to get her number , “ but I always think people stare at me for human nature’s sake or bc I look weird . Who knows ? Lol .

I love to workout / lift . I love to play basketball when I can and lift when I can . I’ve been lifting on and off for the past two years because of my injury prone shoulders ( dislocations ) . It takes me about 2-3+ weeks to recover and get back to working out , which sucks but it’s life .

Right now , I’m feeling like shit . I always have these phases where I’m happy for a week , not worrying about shit , to being depressed , bored , empty for a couple of days ... I just needed somewhere to post my feelings and see what kind of advice you can give to someone as young as me .

For those of you who took the time of their day to read my post , thanks .

Any reaction is accepted . I know some of you will call me a pussy and tell me to man up , some of you may sympathize , some of you may say to slow things down and keep on progressing . I’m expecting all types of reactions . Idc for the name calling , some have been through worse , some of you don’t have it as bad as me . I’m only sharing w you what I feel like needs to be shared . Take it easy