I know this is old enough to be sidebar material but I can't wrap my head around it. I'm talking about this post.

Now, I know first hand that my ego was so big that it would impact my performance negatively even when I was playing online video games with a nickname that I wanted to be known as. I'm shitting you not, if I were to "wear" the nickname that I wanted to be known as, I'd double think every move I make, and every death would suck harder than, let's say compared to playing with a silly nickname as "crusty panda" or anything random I would come up with within seconds.

What I worry is that my BP narrative in my head (I don't consider myself full RP yet) keeps telling me that this attitude can excuse laziness and promote complacency. For example, instead of feeling shame about playing video games and fap to porn all day, I would just excuse myself because "if I wanted to improve my situation I would have done so anyways" according to the post.

Basically, my(?) argument is that, while ego can and will fuck you up (one of the top comments in that post say "shy people actually have big egos" which I agree because I'm one of them), pride and shame still remain valid tools to promote proper behavior.

A person feeling pride for his achievements, a slut feeling ashamed etc. All these to me are valid reasons. The sidebarred post suggests that since I'm a fart in the history of the universe that I can basically throw everything under the bus and simply reject all external conditioning, buffing only my internal conditioning instead. Same goes for the athlete who feels shame about his sub-par performance and leads him to work harder next time, the warlord feeling shame about a defeat that forces him to revise his strategy, and so on.

Another comment that caught my attention is this

I'll sum it up with a single comparison. A man who dedicates his life to mastering underwater basket weaving or playing video games is more masculine then a man who's forced to climb a mountain every day and lift large objects.

If he's forced to climb a mountain because it's a fountain up there and he's forced to bring water to his village, to me he's more badass motherfucker than the masturbator. He's actually helping his village by bringing water. I can't fucking see how's that "less masculine" than the waifu gamer guy who just doesn't feel like contributing anything to society or his family because "everything is subjective and besides, I feel good with myself".

My internal conditioning of wanting to become a better version of myself came to fruition because of the proper external influences. I would never have built the image of the person I aspire to become before the red pill. I'd argue that before TRP the whole fap/vidya/"I'm just an unlucky victim of my shitty country" trifecta narrative was compelling enough to hold it as my universal truth.

To fix my shit I first had to realize what a failure I was and I feel bad for not realizing it sooner. And I wouldn't have realized the error of my ways without identifying my BP traits, and feel bad about them. I may not be full RP yet but I feel proud for digesting well written and informed books that in turn shaped my worldview. I may be less of a fart in the history of the universe but I still feel bad for playing video games all day instead of doing something, and this feel was integral into shaping my new habits.

Am I reading into the post too much? Please help me understand it.