TL;DR - I've been doing my sidebar readings, getting out of my shell, and trying to improve my body and mindset but feel as if I'm a little directionless now. Where do I go from here?

  • Lurked TRP for 2 months post 3 year LTR I broke apart due to physical/emotional abuse and lack of respect in the 3rd year. Became beta in the last year due to nursing school stress, anxiety, depression. Was not the leader and rock of the LTR I should've been, but did not deserve the bullshit.

  • 22 y.o. 6"2', 270 lbs., <20% bf, lift 5x/week (365 bench, 455 squat, 405 deadlift), 1 more year as college student left.

  • Suffer occasionally from oneitis (feeling as if I'm not who women are looking for, loneliness, etc.) and struggling with summer school. As much as my depression hurts, I allow my anger to push me forward into my hobbies such as drumming (4+ yrs.), drawing, loads of self-help reading, and a little Street Fighter when I need to Shoryuken dat ass.

  • Am I going about monk mode the right way? When should I hope to be done with the emptiness from the LTR? It was my first relationship, and sobbing has gone from 1x/3 days to 1x/week to 1x/2 weeks, which is a victory to me. Is there anything I'm missing?

  • Also, can someone point me in the right direction for dieting/fat loss? I eat extremely clean because I enjoy such foods. My fat loss has plateaued hard.

  • Thanks for any guidance and for everyone who has contributed to TRP. You have saved one man from ending himself.