How to select friends?

lizard-overlord · 2016-01-02T19:20:22+00:00

People who can talk about something else than themself for an entire conversation make good friends.
People who only want you to hear about their success/misery make shitty friends.
Also look for people who actually like to do shit.
Somebody invites you to participate in their hobby, go for it!
Somebody just wants to sit and have coffee all the time, gtfo.

This works just as well if you are the initiator of the outing.
Invite people to go for a photo walk, a football game or whatever you are into. From then on it will be super obvious :
Some people will flake or try to change the activity to having coffee ; lose their number.
Some people will show up but try to derail the activity after 30min ("I'm getting tired/cold/bored, you wanna sit and have coffee somewhere?") ; these people can be your outer circle, keep them around, everybody needs acquaintances.
And finally some people will enjoy the activity as much as you do, stay for the whole thing, and might wanna grab some coffee with you afterwards. These are the guys you wanna befriend.

One last thing : too many people thing a good friendship is measured by the people having your back in hard times.
I don't agree with that.
Don't ignore the fact that your stoner friend is always broke, never interested in the things you wanna do, makes you look bad when you go out together (...) Just because he was loyal to you when your cat died 5 years ago.

randarrow · 2016-01-03T14:16:37+00:00

Have as many friends as possible. Spend time with the ones you want to spend time with. Simple.

You don't need to test people. Watch how they react. You'll get a pretty good idea who is reliable and who isn't with time.

MrFuckupKing · 2016-01-02T22:12:20+00:00

When someone suddenly becomes rich they find out they have many relatives that they did not know about.

When someone dies that has anything of value suddenly all those people who ignored them when they were alive suddenly show up at the funeral.

First accept people for what they are and do not expect them to be otherwise, than look for the exceptions.

Make those people your friends but for them to want this friendship you will have to be exceptional yourself.

Water seeks its own level and like is attracted to like.

If you are a liar your friends will be liars. If you are a thief your friends will be thief's. If you are an addict your friends will be addicts

Become what you want your friends to be and than seek out others like yourself.

You will know them by recognizing yourself in them.

MattyAnon · 2016-01-02T19:16:01+00:00

Don't expect or look for female friends. Women rarely give as much as they get. Make exceptions only where they prove their worth.

Most people have very few true friends, five at most. Many don't have any. One good friend is actually pretty good.

The secret to friends is knowing who is a friend and who is an acquaintance. Maintain both, but know which is which. And actively have a plan for making more friends. Keep doing this. Always.

Title	How to select friends?
Author	Jakemeninst
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	January 2, 2016 6:07 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3z60qi/how_to_select_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-select-friends.158658 https://theredarchive.com/post/158658

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