Apologizing, thanking, and asking

branstarkflakes · 2016-04-07T19:38:39+00:00

It is all about context...

Saying sorry: 1 - Are they demanding an apology? Yes? Don't apologize, they don't care about your apology, they just want to prove their rightness and your wrongness. 2 - Do you believe you did something wrong? No? Why would you apologize for something you didn't do wrong? 3 - Was it significant? If you don't apologize will they remember it days and weeks from now? If not, then it isn't significant enough to apologize.

Only apologize when you believe you did something wrong and when you believe apologizing is crucial to making it right. More often than not no apology is necessary and changing your actions will go far more than saying sorry.

Saying thanks: Thank people when they do shit for you that you couldn't do for yourself or when they go out of their way to do something for you. You aren't going to lose frame by thanking someone and showing appreciation can go a long way. Just don't over do it; don't thank people for insignificant things or if they do things that they did not intend to benefit you.

Saying please: I rarely say please, people don't seem to give a shit, as long as you say thank you you don't have to say please. Definitely don't say please if it is something they want to, or should want to do.

SkorchZang · 2016-04-07T20:56:04+00:00

Here's my way of doing it:

cut "sorry" from my vocabulary with women completely. I simply do not say it, ever.
More advanced version of the same thing: never put myself "down on the knees" in front of a woman in a supplicating position. No matter the situation, there is always a way to do it without acting like a whining dog with his tail between his legs. This is what the "no more sorry" rule is going to help you do as well man, you teach yourself the discernement, the habit necessary to pull it off in the heat of things when there's not much time to think about things.
When I do say "please" or some other socially mandated pleasantry, I will deliberately exaggerate it. Almost to the point of sounding like an unhinged victorian gentleman. "Amy, would you be so kind to pass the salt shaker over here, please? Much obliged, Amy!" If you do this while teasing Amy with your cheeky bastard eyes, it does two things for you. It expresses some amount of easy-going classiness (no matter how disingenuous it obviously is) AND it expresses that you love fucking with her and people in general. Women love this kind of a man, they draw serious kicks from watching your refined social cruelty putting someone down in such a smooth way that they never even realized what just happened.

Your entire "blue pill soul" will naturally rebel against this as soon as you try it, enjoy crushing that resistance. It's no big wonder the resistance is there, men today are brought up from childhood based on the exact opposite principles: always supplicate to women, always put her before yourself, apologize for yourself 24/7, etc.

PS: I wanted to warn you about something you might encounter when you cut sorry. So you do it, and more or less stick with it for a while. There might now be a strong temptation in you, the temptation to replace saying "sorry" (which you don't say any more) with instead supplicating to her by actively making yourself goofy. Suddenly acting like a loveable harmless goofball as a way to apologize for yourself... I done goofed, what can ya do... Well, this is still the same old blue pill shit, women see right through you, and it will still hold you back. Do not permit this to yourself. It's hilarious how it's all the exact same dynamics with dogs or other social animals, beta dogs too try to apologize by being goofy and loveable. All you got to do is remind yourself once in a while to not be a basic poodle. Chin up, you're a man, and man is a proud animal.

JimFury · 2016-04-07T20:09:16+00:00

I'm Canadian and I don't understand the constant apologizing and thanking. I used to but you just gotta stop it it sounds stupid and if you go anywhere else in the world the politeness will make you look like an idiot.

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-04-07T19:14:27+00:00

No, I'd suggest to never apologize PERIOD. You may concede if you were wrong about something, but never apologize. There is a fundamental difference. This goes off of the idea that you must make a decision, and you must follow through with that decision until the end. A man's word is his life, and going back on your word is never a good thing. So stop using your words so much.

Title	Apologizing, thanking, and asking
Author	lakalahehe
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	April 7, 2016 6:54 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4dsjk4/apologizing_thanking_and_asking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/apologizing-thanking-and-asking.163047 https://theredarchive.com/post/163047

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