Hey all, I apologize for formatting doing this on mobile. We'll see how it goes.

Heres my obligatory first post found out about TRP 3 months ago and Ive been on the emotional rollercoaster. Ive had great leadership highs and depressed lows. It almost feels bi polar looking from a month long perspective.

Now to the reason behind my post; Ive been with my LTR coming up on 6 years and were both 23. Started dating right at the end of college. Shes a great woman to be around a little childish at times but fun and submissive to me. We share an apartment together and have for the last 2 years.

Throughout the 6 years theres definitely been some screw ups on both of our parts and I was too beta to just walk away from my oneitis.

Year 2 she cheats on me with a co worker due to wanting to hurt me after being a lazy ass no job and no interest in her. Another year or so later I find out about an infatuation with a different guy and that they have pet names. I put a quick end to it.

A bit on my fuck-ups because we are mutual partners and full story is necessary I'm sure. Over the last couple years shes found me being a bit of a social media whore getting girls interested and a few times trading pics. I don't deny it, was pretty obvious about it.

Recently Ive stopped smoking pot and started improving lifting, reading etc. Ive been getting out and trying to flirt a bit more and rebuild my extroverted self. (shes always shy and it rubs off on me at home). According to her Ive become like a puzzle and dont let her read my emotions, generally brains not present and calculating my next steps.

She works in the manufacturing industry and is the only female on the line. As the only female shes the emotional support and mediator for everyone. Recently shes gotten rather close to one of the line leads trying to teach him to calm down. In the interim shes learning a lot more self confidence.

Friday night being the playful me tease her into a surprise date, we go to Montanas and have a good time. When we get home we each have a 120mg THC edible and let the effects fly. Throughout the night she kept mentioning how important she is at work, and how the line lead considers her #2. I hear about him 22 times in the night, and explains the relationship between them as big brother /little sister.Meanwhile shes trying g to give me a post orgasm torture and ruining immersion by explaining it over and over. I treated the whole night as one long shit test and go to bed pissed off because I couldn't stand hearing bout him anymore. The handjob performance was pitiful too nothing like usual.

Next morning I call her out on the behaviour and how I dont appreciate it. This leads into a your too emotionally deprived and I was soo high I considered proposing to you conversation from her.

On our way to get a tattoo relined I made comment about how shed never be able to find a D as good as mine with the context of long term sex over 50, her reaction was "hes always talking about how his cougar wife puts out" that comment blew me out of the water. I called her out on it too. She said everything reminds her of something and of something else etc.

A bit about this co worker early 30s married a woman with 2 adult children, one lives at home and mooches off them. Missing top teeth and described to me as an alien. My gf has casually dropped in conversation that they are somewhat swingers because at one point I wanted to have another threesome.

I guess the TL/DR is this new strand of confidence coming from her cant tell if one big shit test or comfort test. Shes always says she doesn't want to be the one to fuck up the relationship again but now I have a bit of dread and cant stand hearing that name.