So I'm in a f'd up situation fellow redpillers - need either a wake up call or some serious online forum advice

TL;DR: I am a 7+ year Redpiller who chose to jump into a LTR while never dropping RedPill behavior. Turns out (at least from what I've been told by SO) my behavior pushed her into a drunk co-worker make out session while I was away on vacation.

Long story: I met my 3 year SO back in college and, after vetting her for LTR status, decided to drop my platespinning and settle into a legit LTR with her. Everything else regarding correct behavior has been par for the course...

  1. Hot and Cold (Carrot and Stick attitude regarding her behavior)
  2. Significant Dread game with her girlfriends etc..

Flash forward to a few months ago to when I leave on vacation for a week. We got into a really bad arguement the day I left for said trip and may have took my game to far...

Example: She said "I love you" as I walked out the door - I didn't respond. She said "call me when you land" - I didn't.

Turns out - on the day I left she made out with a coworker while blasted drunk (not blackout mind you) and lied about it for 2 weeks before I got her to confess - trickle truth from a simple peck to a full make out session and his attempted fucking of her (to which of course she will not admit she did - claims it stopped at kissing even though he tried desperately to do more) When I asked what made her do it, she called out various moments of me correcting her as reasons why she felt alone, deserted, controlled..etc.

(Expanded)

To provide more background, she's been at this job for only about two months and the guy she made out with sleeps around with a lot of coworkers. (got that info from her and other people I know at her office) So at the time of her doing this, she's only known him for a few months and it was during a happy hour. He also walked her home, she let him use the bathroom in the apartment, after which they kissed again and he left. Also worth noting is that she admitted to hanging out with him again a few days after (while I was still gone) only this time she said their was no kissing.

Now the girl is gone, that's not the issue. I'm just trying to discern where and if I fucked up in my corrective behavior.

So two questions:

  1. Do you believe a makeout session with a coworker that soon, given the way i acted is cheating (I do, but looking for consensus)

  2. Where did I in my RedPilling did I go wrong?