I am quite ashamed to make this post.

I had hoped I could conjure my own response to this, but I think the time is nigh that I get some truly outside perspectives before I continue.

I have been reading TRP (and delving into MGTOW) for some time now, and I've started doing some very basic home workouts and applied for some part time jobs before I go back to University, so TRP is wearing off on me.

However, I still have a lingering weight on my mind.

About 4/5 years ago, my brother was murdered. My hometown is very safe, so you can be quite assured it was a horrible shock. I was seeing some counsellor for suicidal thoughts at the time, so I had an avenue to deal with it then but they were dog s***. I mean to say they just sat and nodded and gave me no actual therapy.

Anyway, ever since I have done my damnedest to keep Stoic and repress those feelings swelling inside of me, however despite the beautiful Red Pill (I'm serious about that) I feel I can barely hang on - and I'm worried about what might happen if I fail to hold on.

I'd appreciate if anyone has gone through a similar situation and has any tips/pointers, or just general advice. I think finding a purpose would do a lot for me, but I'm struggling not to feel confused about my immediate future.

Thanks for reading, anyway. Feel free to ask any questions out of interest or clarification.