Note: "Date" here means pre-scheduled meeting up for the implied purpose of exploring a man to woman connection.

I made a comment on a post yesterday saying that someone should have tried to set a second date upon realizing he could not kiss the girl on the first date. that comment received a bunch of downvotes, and a response saying that you don't schedule the second date on the first date received a ton of upvotes.

I'm curious as to why.

In an ideal world, and on probably 10% of my dates, I get the F close the first time, and I don't really worry about when we will meet up again.

Sometimes, we just don't click. Maybe she's not into me, or I'm not into her, and I realize it's not worth pursuing.

But typically, there's mutual interest, good flirting, laughing, some escalating, moving her from location to location, but not enough excitement to hamster past ASD and get her to my house.

In those kinds of cases, I can't see why the best course of action is not to set the second date while you are together.

Pros:

-her emotions are up, she's the least likely to deny you.

-she can't blow you off or ignore the request, so if she's busy for the next few days, she's much more likely to offer days when she is free.

-you discuss it in person and put it in your calendars, so she will be less likely to say she forgot as a dumb excuse

-Builds comfort and shows her that you're not planning on trying to hit it and quit it.

Cons:

-comes off as needy asking for future investment. COUNTER: it will always be needy to ask for future investment, best to do it when you're least likely to get rejected.

-Not "making her chase you" COUNTER: if you're getting the vibe that she's chasing you, obviously there's no need to do this.

Anyways, interested in your thoughts.