Overcoming low self esteem

whyyesmate43 · 2019-12-27T05:31:04+00:00

Respect your decisions yourself, if you don’t, no one is going to. If you said you are gonna do something, do it, no questions asked. Self esteem = amount of discipline in self in my opinion.

Casd12 · 2019-12-27T05:35:54+00:00

As long as you keep grinding and actually working on your weaknesses and doing shit that scares you. Eventually your results will raise your self esteem. You just have to put in work. Took me about three years to raise my self esteem. There's definitely a lag between the work that you put in verses the results you get

LeatherBoundWisdom · 2019-12-27T05:50:34+00:00

Whether or not someone loves you is a much more momentary thing. People may love or like you in a moment, but don't tend to love absolutely like one loves their family. Further everyone is self interested (as they should be); they will only love you insofar as you are of perceived benefit in a moment, which can simply mean just being good company.

Once you realize that, you realize there is no standard. There is no good and bad, no good enough or not good enough. If in the moment you are good company, if in a moment it's in someone's interests to have fun and feel love towards you, they will love you only for that moment. It's like when you ride a rollercoaster. You love the rollercoaster in that moment, after it's done who cares.

The absolute love you may be looking for doesn't exist. No one will validate you but yourself. Read in the sidebar The Guide to Accepting Yourself.

FatalComplex111 · 2019-12-27T05:34:24+00:00

Build on small wins.

Only speaking from personal experience. I still am unhappy with alot about my mindset and a bunch of shit, but in the past few months I've come a long way. Set small achievable goals, reach them and the momentum will snowball and pump you up to set bigger goals each time and motivate you.

Also if you can identify your defects, do something to fix them. I'm sure you know what you wish was different about yourself, and (for the most part) you can change that and be better.

modern_soma · 2019-12-27T05:56:18+00:00

Lift, eat right, get a job (or look for a better one while working), start budgeting, invest.

thrwy75479 · 2019-12-27T06:11:31+00:00

feeling that nothing I could ever do would be good enough to my expectations

Set high expectations. Create goals, write them down, and take action towards achieving them.

Think about whether what you did was good enough, or not, after you're dead.

AmbassadorCosh · 2019-12-27T14:12:43+00:00

Good self-esteem demands congruence—which means that the self within and the self manifested in the world be in accord. If I choose to fake the reality of my person, I do so to mislead the consciousness of others (as well as my own). I do so because I feel or believe that who I really am is not acceptable. I value a delusion in someone else’s mind above my own knowledge of the truth.

The penalty is that I go through life with the tormented sense of being an impostor. This means, among other things, that I sentence myself to the anxiety of wondering when I will be found out. First, I reject myself; that is implicit in living lies, in faking the truth of who I am. Then, I go around feeling rejected by others or looking for possible signs of rejection, which I am typically quick to find.

I imagine that the problem is between myself and other people. I do not grasp that the worst of what I fear from others I have already done to myself. Honesty consists of respecting the difference between the real and the unreal—and of not seeking to gain values by means of faking reality; that is, not seeking to accomplish my goals by pretending that the truth is other than what it is.

When we attempt to live unauthentically, we are always our own first victim, since the fraud is ultimately directed at ourselves.

drevil_ · 2019-12-27T08:03:31+00:00

Get shredded and rich and your self esteem problem will be of no consequence to you anymore

fannyfire · 2019-12-27T21:01:41+00:00

God damn someone needs to make a fucking bot that says read NMMNG. Would seriously answer 70% of the posts in this sub.

30DaystoSolstice · 2019-12-27T05:23:52+00:00

Stop jerking off to porn

RoccoPinkman · 2019-12-28T09:53:45+00:00

Look into positive reframing, it’s helped me a lot. They way you talk to your self about yourself is important

Title	Overcoming low self esteem
Author	whyyesmate43
Upvotes	14
Comments	22
Date	December 27, 2019 5:18 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/eg6ugp/overcoming_low_self_esteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/overcoming-low-self-esteem.303158 https://theredarchive.com/post/303158

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