So I got a load of great advice from various people the other day and I appreciate it. I've reached out and am continuing to reach out with old friends and contacts to set up going out and being social away from the house.

I want to give some information out about myself and plans of action.

  1. I focus on negative outcomes and try to plan around them. Initially I was going to focus on positive outcomes but have learned this isn't any better. I need to stop focusing on outcomes at all, I just need to do take care of things as I see fit and stuff will happen in whatever way it's going to happen. This will become easier the more I forcibly do it.

  2. I'm mostly unclear with what I say and give people the idea that I'm looking for something. This is partially an outcome seeking thing but also I guess a congruency issue. What I say, feel and think don't line up with each other. As I work on myself and go outside and put a little more thought into what I say before I say it eventually stuff will start to balance out.

  3. Role and responsibilities in the relationship are imbalanced. When the relationship started it slowly drifted into my wife taking care of pretty much everything and then I forced her do more. This resulted in my wife abandoning almost all responsibilities. Before seeking MRP help I started to see this and tried to take care of everything I could. That's a mistake so instead I have attempted to be assertive about it and talk to wife about the imbalance. I've laid out what I am going to take care of and demand of her exactly what I think she should be taking care of. "But I basically did everything before", "I get that but this isn't before this is now and I'm making sure there is some balance". She responded well to it and accepted it.

  4. Bad habit of emotional outburst or being extremely cold. This ultimately not having control over my emotions. I need to control myself and work on not letting shit get to me without going to the extreme of simply ignoring things. Friends, hobbies and conscious effort made to even things out will help.

I'm working on small set of things and things seem to be ok. I reached out to the closest I have to friends (online buddies) and (since I've never been into sports) a couple of guys suggested Intramural sports, I will be getting information about this when I return to the college. I have some things planned for hanging out with a male friend on weekends and expressed interest in expanding my social circle so meeting some of his other friends would be great. I have no contact with my biological family so instead I will try and work things out with males on my wife's side of the family. One of them supposedly frequents a gym nearby and I'm going to try and talk to him about lifting at the same gym.

Lastly I'm 31 and have never had a driver's license, I won't go into why that is because it's not relevant. I'm studying to get my driver's license now. My wife has been for the longest time driving me around so I will now be using a bicycle and making use of public transportation to remove some dependency.

I have MAP and WISNIFG on order. If I screwed up somewhere or you think I can make improvements somewhere, comments and advice are appreciated.