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[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
So i'm a virgin, so take what i have with a grain of salt.
Your virginity is not immediately relevant, but okay.
There's a stigma against pickup lines and how you should never use them.
Sure. Because they're robotic and not connected to the situation.
I agreed until recently. It seems like if you use the right one, it might actually work. Not in a serious manner though. Basically, use something that is obviously corny, so both of you get a laugh. What do you think?
Look, in some ways, it's less about what you say, and more about how you say it. Delivery matters.
But overall, if you deliver a line, even if you do a great job, it's funny and you get that laugh. Then what? What do you talk about? And before you think that you can plan something up that will work, realize that you're wrong: planning a conversation ahead of time won't ever work the way you think it will.
So even IF the line works, and it might not...... you still have the work ahead of you to come up with something to actually talk about.
Which is why the following process is better:
Connect with the world around you. Stop trying to cook up something in your head and observe what's going on around you. Because the world around you is going to provide SO much to talk about.
It doesn't require much. Doesn't require some special thing to say. You can literally offer someone an obvious observation that ANYONE could make, and it would be enough. It might even be funny.
People just walk around not paying attention so someone who actually does AT ALL, is like the one-eyed king in the land of the blind. Often if you're commenting on something going on right then, you'll be getting into someone's head because they were either thinking of that very thing.
Side-note: Most or all of the best "pick-up" lines you see floating around out there, are actually born of these sorts of observation techniques. Then some guy thinks it was the line, when really it was his observation skills that led to it.
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Have you written any guides or anything?
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nope. Not formally.
I imagine I could though.
[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you please start some writing some shit?
I'm not sucking your dick cuz you're a mod, but I find your advice to be very complete, thorough and mature. In fact, it's literally some of the best shit I've ever read. I'd really like to hear a longer version of how to approach somebody, and that's just to start.
Thanks.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL.
Okaaaaay. I'll put some thought into it. Really.
[–]Throwaway189947 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
So cold approaching like this is a thing that I still don't understand. Too many points of failure. Getting her attention, saying something interesting or relevant, am I bothering her, is she already annoyed. I'm trying to get good at this talking to cashier's, old lady's but 90% of the woman I try this with I get either a one word answer or the look on there face is why are you talking to me. Maybe I'm not saying these things with a ton of enthusiasm or I stink or my clothes aren't cool enough or she hates my car.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
So cold approaching..... Too many points of failure. Getting her attention, ....saying something interesting or relevant, am I bothering her, is she already annoyed.
So cold approaching.....
Too many points of failure.
Getting her attention,
....saying something interesting or relevant, am I bothering her, is she already annoyed.
You say "too many points" of failure. What you have expressed is really one point of failure: confidence.
Getting her attention? You say hello. Attention gotten. I don't get this. People socialize all the time. Unless someone is deaf or you act awkwardly creepy or uncomfortable as you come up and speak, people are going to at least acknowledge your presence and that you said something.
Saying something interesting? What does that mean? You're being WAY too hard on yourself and making this over-complicated. What you do is say something to someone. Then you don't plan what to say as she's talking, you actively listen. And when she's done responding, you take a second and think about what she said. Then you respond based on what she just said. This is another way of expressing what I just posted about above. You pay attention; it's not about being interesting. It's about being interested and getting someone talking.
Forget all this worry about whether you're bothering her or annoying her. If you assume that, then she will be. On the other hand, I'm talking about simply chatting to people as you run into them in daily life. I'm not talking about going to a public place and then marching up to each woman individually. That's a little lame.
I'm trying to get good at this talking to cashier's, old lady's but 90% of the woman I try this with I get either a one word answer or the look on there face is why are you talking to me.
Try "this." What do you mean? What are you actually saying to them?
And are you actually following what I suggest about observing, in my first reply above?
[–]Throwaway189947 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Ok yes Confidence that magic thing that I can't seem to find. At this point confidence is a requirement sheet that keeps adding steps to it. Ok I must be some hideous alien or something. Mostly it's hey how is it going. Oh that's cool how was your dogs birthday. Either my mind goes blank or when I've observed there isn't shit to talk about. Yea how's that shopping center compared to the one across the street. I don't see this conversation going anywhere. I don't run into many women in my everyday I work nights just the trainers at the gym and the guys leaving.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Ok yes Confidence that magic thing that I can't seem to find.
Missing. the. point.
I gave you actionable things you could try out. Try them. Or don't.
Mostly it's hey how is it going. Oh that's cool how was your dogs birthday. Either my mind goes blank or when I've observed there isn't shit to talk about. Yea how's that shopping center compared to the one across the street. I don't see this conversation going anywhere.
Mostly it's hey how is it going. Oh that's cool how was your dogs birthday.
Either my mind goes blank or when I've observed there isn't shit to talk about. Yea how's that shopping center compared to the one across the street. I don't see this conversation going anywhere.
You can be doing better. And it's not difficult. You didn't click on the links I JUST posted above, or you didn't follow instructions in the video. If you did, you'd know that these things you've listed are not as good as you're capable of doing.
[–]Throwaway189947 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
How am I missing the point? I've watched the video a few times. How many things did you observe in it. I only counted four. I'll observe more in my day to day. I know it could be better but after 3 years of trying it's not getting any interest or you can clearly see the women looking for an exit or disgust.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
_1_
How am I missing the point?
In a few ways, I guess.
Confidence is not something you just declare and obtain instantly. That's true. But you're focusing on the lack of it, when you could be building it up. You do that by finding ways to test yourself and develop yourself. Confidence is something you feel when you KNOW you are capable of things. Not just talking about "seduction" here. I first found confidence in myself through dancing. And believe me, learning that was a daily, non-stop, pride-swallowing siege.
Your interpretation of "observe." I'll get into that.
_2_
I've watched the video a few times. How many things did you observe in it. I only counted four.
Four? You're lying. I saw more things in the opening frame alone. And so did YOU. The problem here might be that you think you're supposed to see something fucking special. Not true. Some things I saw in the opening frame before the camera even started moving:
He's standing in front of a statue.
The statue is black.
It's daytime, probably afternoon?
The statue kind of reminds me of Han Solo in carbon hibernation. (Empire Strikes Back)
The statue is in "memory of" someone named Margaret. I wonder who that is?
David is holding his hands about shoulder width apart at the 19 second mark.
David is wearing a brown coat and a blue shirt.
David has short hair.
Margaret apparently spent her life helping people.
That was off-hand, in the first minute or less. All until the guy just started to pan the camera.
_3_
I'll observe more in my day to day.
It doesn't require anything special. You could literally make a comment about the weather and start a conversation.
_4: Be more specific_
I know it could be better but after 3 years of trying it's not getting any interest or you can clearly see the women looking for an exit or disgust.
This is vague. Please elaborate because "trying" can mean way too many things. Not all of them good.
What are you "trying?"
What does your "approach" look like? Are you talking about cold approaching here?
What other ways do you have of socializing? Just cold approaching?
How do you usually "open?"
[–]Throwaway189947 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I didn't start counting until he said he was going to pan around. Did not take into account anything David was doing prior to that. Yup exactly did I miss something important in that was my exact thought. I talk about the weather often that's easy but what I don't see is how is that supposed to lead to anything. Maybe this person likes the rain... Then what. It's all speculation from my standpoint. So none of them good awesome. It's rare to cold approach. I don't work a schedule conclusive to meeting women.
Trying to have a chat mostly goes like I make a comment about something then I introduce myself then I go about my business. Just speaking to the random women at the gym. Then on my weekends it really depends I don't go to bars unless I have a decent group size. Other than that very little socializing. How do I open? I haven't I don't know.
__1__
I didn't start counting until he said he was going to pan around. Did not take into account anything David was doing prior to that.
-shrugs- Okay. From when he said he was going to pan around:
The inscription says that Margaret helped people.
There's a tree behind them that looks sick. Or bumpy.
An old man walking by.
There's a building that kind of looks like a castle at the top.
Garbage can with a green thing on it.
A green field.
The old man stopped to talk to people at a bench.
There's a walkway that David is standing by.
It appears to be a college campus or a park or something.
And that's just what I furiously typed out in the time he panned twice.
You saw those things also. And more. But you decided for some reason that you only say FOUR things. You're feeding yourself bullshit. This stuff isn't complicated. We only make ourselves think it is.
Yup exactly did I miss something important in that was my exact thought.
Yeah, no. "Important?" NO. That's SO far from the point. The point is to be constantly taking in information. Like the Terminator does. Details. Mundane things. All information.
__2__
I talk about the weather often that's easy but what I don't see is how is that supposed to lead to anything. Maybe this person likes the rain... Then what. It's all speculation from my standpoint. So none of them good awesome.
You are not reading what I wrote. Or you're ignoring it. Where did I suggest that you waste time worrying about what someone might like? Where did I suggest wasting your precious time speculating about shit?
Weather? Maybe, if it really strikes you. Go ahead. But there's a lot to talk about.
And that voice in your head trying to plan out the conversation and wonder what happens next? That voice is FUCKING you over. **Read the 2nd reply I posted and look at the 2nd bullet point. Read the bold part about active listening, etc.
__3__
It's rare to cold approach. I don't work a schedule conclusive to meeting women.
Cold approaching isn't even necessary.
Trying to have a chat mostly goes like I make a comment about something then I introduce myself then I go about my business. Just speaking to the random women at the gym.
Sounds like a good start. What sort of social groups are you regularly participating in?
How do I open? I haven't I don't know.
Yes, you do open. You just said you make comments about something and introduce yourself.
[–]Throwaway189947 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Okay. Stop thinking observe listen.
I've read what you written a few times. Weather was what the books and reading say to talk about. None of them say anything about your environment. I get what your saying the voice is screwing me over cause I feel like making a comment about something that isn't all that important to someone I don't know is supposed to stir some sort of conversation. But that's me thinking again.
Cold approaching isn't necessary?
I don't participate in any social groups to often. I have almost an opposite schedule than everyone else which currently isn't good. Gym and maybe the hookah lounge on the weekend. That's about it.
I did one thing right 9999 more things to fix
[–]drprittstick 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Then what? What do you talk about? And before you think that you can plan something up that will work, realize that you're wrong
I'm not entirely sure that's the case? I went out with a routines guy some time ago and I was genuinely surprised at how well it worked for him. Every opener was the same, then he'd follow it up with the same 'tease'. They'd laugh. Then he'd make the exact same cold read, then jump in to the same 'spontaneous' story etc etc. Almost everything seemed 'planned'. He was a beast though, and he ended up pulling.
It inspired me to go home and read more about scripted game etc. Soon after I found some VERY old TylerRSD stuff and was surprised to see that he used to be very very canned/scripted aswell. He must have had lots of success with it since this is how he built his name. It was only more recently that he became 'natural', although he STILL uses lots of the same 'stuff' over and over again in his vids.
I'm kind of torn.
I see the same posts over and over where people don't know what to say after the opener. Or they can't 'hook' the girl. They open her, and then fall into boring smalltalk and she decides to leave ''Nice to meeeeeet you!!'' :) I sometimes wonder whether Maybe we underrate 'scripted game'
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not entirely sure that's the case? I went out with a routines guy some time ago and I was genuinely surprised at how well it worked for him.....he ended up pulling.
You'll note that I didn't come right out and say these don't "work." Because the point is not whether one can get laid with them. You can.
There's a reason why the community has moved away from things like Mystery Method, canned lines, routines, etc. It wasn't because they don't "work." It was because the price one pays for using these techniques, is too high.
Canned lines & routines and the like, are disconnected from who you really are, and from the actual situation and the people in it. Read: you're not able to really be "you" if you're using them. So then whoever is in front of you, is not connecting with you. Eventually, you'll want to be yourself, but if you drop the games after you've already attracted her with them, then she'll be gone.
Some girls won't go for lines and routines. They'll feel fake to them. Others will go along with the lines and such. Congratulations: you've screened out girls without baggage and you're left with girls who don't care that they're not really connecting with you, or girls who like playing games.
I see the same posts over and over where people don't know what to say after the opener.
What I just posted above was the solution to this. If you don't know what to say after the opener, you aren't PAYING ATTENTION to the situation. People don't know what to say because they're in their heads, wondering about what to say, even though the person and the overall situation in front of them, are giving them all the material they should need.
Or they can't 'hook' the girl. They open her, and then fall into boring smalltalk and she decides to leave ''Nice to meeeeeet you!!''
You're not always going to be able to "hook" the girl. She might not be interested. You might not be interested. "Game" isn't a guarantee. It just means you have the best chance to make something out of what cards you get dealt.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't do pickup lines.
[–]MrEros 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pick up lines are never a good idea because instead of cementing confident within your skill all they do is cement confidence on these lines. This means you'll end up basing all your success on which line you use. Rather, do the exact opposite, walk to a girl and use the dumbest opener you can think of, like " hi do you like cheese? ".
It sounds crazy I know but what it will do for you is help you see that it's not about what you say, it's about having fun and being natural, no matter what you're saying.
[–]ethical_slut 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're gambling with pick up lines. They typically don't work on sober people. They typically don't work on most people.
Avoid them unless you have nothing to lose and have an extra shirt stashed somewhere.
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