10 step tinder template for beginners

25 points4 commentssubmitted by nobody_thinks to r/a:t5_23olmo

Preview of real life example

I matched with "Jennifer", a 21 y/o HB7. She has some photos where she is dressed professionally.

nobody : good morning Jennifer

Jennifer : hi nobody

Jennifer : how are you

nobody : doing good

nobody : you are a

nobody : lawyer <- From her age, I know she is not a lawyer.

Jennifer : lawyer?

Jennifer : no wha???

nobody : u look like it

Jennifer : hahaha well thank you (heart emoji)

nobody : do u like coffee

nobody : doll

Jennifer : yeah obviously

nobody : we should go get some

nobody : i love it

Jennifer : yeah where

nobody : let's plan something on whatsapp

Jennifer : OK

Jennifer : xxx-xxxx

Breakdown of example / the routine

Step 1: Open with her name and a greeting. Don't ask how she is doing. ("Good afternoon Jennifer"). This builds rapport and helps me remember her name. I don't ask how she is doing just because it is trite and somewhat supplicative.

Step 2: Wait for a response. I am not fully opposed to double texting (future post on this). However, you should let this opener hang for up to a week to get a response.

Step 3: Respond appropriately to what she says. If she says ("hey nobody how are you?") respond with ("good.").

Step 4: Don't reciprocate her asking you how you are. After she asks ("how are you?"), don't respond with ("I'm good you?"). This is trite and boring. You are burning her free attention / free replies if you do. There are some cases where it might be appropriate. But the default should be SKIP.

Step 5: A2D feelz generator. (A2D = attention to detail). Now that she has shown interest / receptivity, it is time to trigger some feelz. Scan her photos and make a statement or ask a teasing question based upon something that you infer from her photos. Here are some examples:

  • You have great hair
  • You look like a lawyer
  • I bet blue is your favorite color
  • Are you always so serious?

Step 6: Use FOMO tagline. Conclude your A2D feelz generator with a FOMO tagline that makes no sense by itself. This will trigger her curiosity and make her want to open your message. Example

nobody : you have great hair

nobody : looks like fun

She will just see "looks like fun" in the chat preview and think "what looks like fun?". Then when she opens it, she will see ("Oh surprise it's my hair, hehehehehe"). You now just triggered feelz and excitement (although minor, you have to remember that tinder is not a dating device, it is a feelz / excitement / validation video game for women and a blue balls generator for beta males) so remember to play by the rules. If you are boring you lose.

Step 7: #-close. My default is to use an active statement or command to get the number. Examples

nobody : let's move this over to whatsapp

nobody : let's continue the conversation on whatsapp

nobody : i prefer talking on whatsapp

nobody : it's better chatting on whatsapp

nobody : give me your number <- high interest only.

Step 8 : Move to whatsapp. Open with her name and continue A2D. Example

nobody : Jennifer

nobody : wow that hair is wild

Step 9 : Push for meet-up. No hanging in the chat having a conversation. No phone calls. Example

(after some back and forth)

nobody : let's get coffee

nobody : i'm going out for coffee at X today

nobody : You should come

Step 10 : If she can't make it and doesn't offer a reschedule, put her on ice. Don't open the chat or send her a message for minimum 3 days. Then re-open. I am not going to treat re-openers here.

Example carried to whatsapp

(now on whatsapp)

nobody : Jennifer

Jennifer : hi

Jennifer : who's this

nobody : nobody

nobody : from tinder

Jennifer : oh yes

Jennifer : i'm going to save you

nobody : save me

nobody : haha

Jennifer : for sure baby (kiss face)

(one day goes by. She is high interest so I am pushing for a meet up.)

nobody : hi Jennifer

nobody : what's up

Jennifer : hey nobody!!!

Jennifer : i'm good

nobody : that's great

nobody : we should meet up

(organize a date here.)

Note that I broke from the template a little bit. That's OK. I brought up a meet up within tinder, which is rare for me (this just happens to be my last #-close on tinder). Don't feel to rigid. Just go with the flow and experiment.

There are a lot of intermediate and advanced techniques that I will cover in future posts. This is a safe routine with which you can't really go wrong. The only exception is if she throws you a curve ball.

If she throws you a curve ball, post it to this sub and I will get back to you. The great thing about tinder is that it is better if you take a day or two to respond. Most girls are not constantly on their tinder and they do not want you to respond quickly.

POST YOUR RESULTS IN THIS SUB. WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM YOUR EFFORTS.