In The Players Handbook author Rollo Tomassi offers his dating advice and tips for men looking to improve the quantity and quality of their dating life.

Exec Summary 

• “Game” social skills. Gam in dating is an extension of general social skills and social awareness
• Money, muscles, and game are the 3 main levers of improving dating results and frame is the glue
• Become an alpha male to hold the higher power frame and succeed at dating

FULL SUMMARY 

About the Author:
Rollo Tomassi identifies as a “Red Pill author” and is a popular voice in the manosphere.
This is the 5th installment of Rollo Tomassi’s “The Rational Male” series.
His first, more basic and most popular one is “The Rational Male”. Then he published “Preventive Medicine“, “Positive Masculinity“, and a book on religion that we skipped.

See our in depth-analysis of Tomassi:

Game Is Social Skills

Says Rollo:

Game is applied social skills, which are sorely lacking in men today.

And a little later:

Guys who understand Game (should) also understand social dynamics – and that understanding includes a finely tuned grasp of situational awareness.

We generally agree with that.

Game Is Essential to Life

Rollo Tomassi starts quoting Pook:

“The fulfillment of your sexuality is nothing less than your battle for existence.”

And that means that learning game at the least at the level of finding a woman to mate with, is essential to a man’s existence.

Game Has Gotten Harder With Globalization

That dating has “gotten harder” is a common take these days.

Rollo also says the same:

With every new social media/dating app, the rapidly globalizing sexual marketplace has become more cutthroat and openly mercenary.

Note: Half-empty, pessimistic take. We only partially agree with this.
I get where Rollo’s coming from.

In a way, it’s not fully wrong.

But still…

Why would you think that playing on a global field disempower you?

It’s such a pessimistic, low-value mindset, unresourceful-man mindset.

Even if you stay put, it’s not as bad as some make it sound.
Ultimately, if women want a relationship or family, and many eventually want that, guys on a screen aren’t gonna cut it.

And guys on another continent aren’t real-life competition either unless they move, or she moves.
And that’s still an exception.

So, albeit it’s partially true that game may be a bit harder for some because of globalization, dating hasn’t gotten much harder for men who think in “in-real-life” terms -and we do recommend you think in real-life terms-.

Also, what’s more challenging for most guys also means that it’s much easier for top guys -including more resourceful guys who find ways-.

Women Are More Demanding Than Ever

Says Rollo:

In the era of social media, women’s hubris is at epic proportions, with overinflated egos that match their expectations of High-Value Men. It’s a Darwinian struggle of supply and demand, where average men are invisible men, and Players reign supreme.

This is also partially true.

Attractive women’s egos may be more stoked.
But it may as well be the opposite for the less attractive ones. They may only have more opportunity to have their ego “put back in place” by the more attractive IG Photoshoppers.

It’s also true that today’s world tends to reward players more, I couldn’t agree more.

On the other hand, even there, never forget that if a woman wants a long-term partnership and/or family, she’ll have to eventually either find a player who “stops” -that also happens-, or find a non-player.

Self-Development Is Based On The 3 Pillars of “6s” For Men

Rollo says that male self-development centers around money, muscles, and game.

And “frame” unifies the 3 of them:

Everyone wants to define Game subjectively. No one understands that it’s the last part of the Holy Trifecta of Masculine Self-Improvement: Make money, Make muscles, Learn Game (Frame is the combined balance of all three).

Note:
I think this far-fetched approach mixes things up and confuses things.
Frame control is part of game / social skills.
Rollo intends frame in a larger sense, as a personal attitude and a set behaviors. But then it’s not just frame anymore, but part of social power -on the outside- and personal empowerment -on the inside, or what used to be called “inner game”-.

For Self-Development You Must Let Go of Ego-Invested Falsehoods

Says Rollo:

In his book, Mastery, author Robert Greene stated that the hardest part of mastering a new skill isn’t access to information or training. Nor is it the 10,000 hours of practice everyone thinks is required to master a new skill – it’s letting go of old, ego-invested beliefs about oneself.

He’s describing here the supposed process of going from “socially conditioned” to “red pill awareness”.

Since we find some issues within the red pill, our corresponding awareness here is “power awareness“.

The Best Natural Players Are Dark-Triad Men

Says Rollo:

Most successful players are just natural narcissists. Self-absorbed egoism carries them, but they have no fundamental understanding of why what they’re doing works.

It’s the same for women, suggests Rollo:

The top percentage earning women on OnlyFans is an example of this elite player. This Machiavellian spirit is perfectly acceptable for women. It’s even encouraged as a form of empowerment.

Sandra L. Brown, author of Women Who Love Psychopaths says something similar.

Note: we partially agree, but not fully.
Ultimately, women want men who are more than they are, including -and especially- higher power.
Dark triad men tend to be higher power and more socially dominant and successful than most other men. And that’s largely why they’re successful. However, a man can be high power while also adding value to the world and/or without being a full-blown dark triad.
We actually teach men how to become that in Power University.

Dark Triad Men Are The Only True Players

Says Rollo:

Much of what women find arousing in men is linked to Dark Triad personality traits – the polar opposite of Beta security traits. Sometimes Red Pill awareness and Game savvy get called “an education in psychopathy.”

But then he corrects that same take and adds:

Having written about Red Pill awareness for as long as I have, I know there’s more to this. To the uninitiated, I understand why it looks like psychopathy. There is a necessary self-importance a good Player must adopt to be effective. That looks like psychopathy to a culture raised to put women above all other considerations, including self.

Which is similar to what we also say here.
Also read:

• How to be an as*hole
• How to be better than an as*hole

Comfort & Rapport Are Anti-Seductive

Says Rollo:

comfort, familiarity, and rapport are post-orgasm feelings. They are anti-seductive. Sexual tension, urgency, uncertainty (dread), competition anxiety, lust, and raw arousal are testosterone-based (…)

The text loses the plot when it links it to testosterone.
And in truth, rapport can also lead to seduction.
But he’s right that those other elements are, in a way, more “potent” and can lead to stronger orgasms.

Stay Away From “Mainstream Red Pill”

Says Rollo:

They take the primary elements of Red Pill praxeology, the Game tenets that promote an acceptable “masculine responsibility,” and blend them into a program to Build a better Beta. And there are a lot of niché market coaches, moralist Trads, and “Red Pill Women” unwittingly or deliberately promoting a female-approved version of “Game.”

Interesting take.
I do indeed agree that there are more gurus and marketers that take some elements of red pill or power dynamics, and incorporate it into a more palatable, more PC, “mainstream narrative”.

Who are some of these gurus?
Well, Rollo mentions a few:

Life coaches like Matthew Hussey, The Roommates, and Mark Manson have even turned this Better Beta male education into a marketing niché for an ever-growing number of post-30’s women frustrated by the “lack of good men” in today’s dating pool (AKA: “Where have all the good men gone!?”).

And:

Listen to any mainstream celebrity like Steve Harvey, Terry Crews, or Dr. Phil, and you’ll hear them repeat the same masculine responsibility mantra women believe men aren’t living up to. They promote the ideal of masculinity as a dutiful Beta with just enough of a side of Alpha to be useful to the women they’re accountable to.
(…)
That’s the better Beta they hope to create. One who will “Man Up” and is the Alpha (as situations and its use would warrant), but who’s ultimately Beta enough to be subservient to the feminine imperative.

LOL, these are the passages that make me think “yeah, there are some genius takes in Rollo”.
Agree with that (albeit Steve Harvey’s book is actually good).

Also see our reviews:

• Models by Mark Manson
• Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey
• Get The Guy by Matthew Hussey

Women Naturally Shit Test

Says Rollo:

Women’s shit testing is a psychologically evolved, hard-wired sexual-selection mechanism. Women will shit test men as autonomously and subconsciously as men will stare at a woman’s big boobs. 
(…)
Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree that women want to verify a masculine man’s dominance/confidence.

Later on, Rollo mixes sexual shit-tests with “one-ups” and status competitions.
And, in a way, they’re similar.
Still, it’s different dynamics and call for different approaches and solutions.

Overall though, it was a good analysis -except for the old “agree and amplify” approach Rollo recommends-.

Learn more:

• How to pass shit tests

Married Men Can’t Be Alphas

Says Rollo:

“She married you because you are a provider, not because she was attracted to you. She’ll never be as attracted to you as she was to her previous Alpha Fucks.”

That’s a tough pill to swallow my brother. The issue being, of course, what to do with yourself and with her, after you discover you got gamed into that kind of marriage.

Here’s a tougher pill to swallow; she’ll never be as attracted to you as she is of the guy’s she sees as Alpha after you’re married too.

I think there is some hard-hitting truth to this indeed.
But, again, there are more nuances, and this applies mostly to men who lose power during the committed relationships -which, granted, it’s most of them-.

However, things change for high-power men who stay high power.
Then, it’s more the other way around: the man got married because he chose to be a provider.
How freely he chooses it is also crucial to how much power and respect he will maintain in that relationship.

And then Rollo asks the readers:

Does an Alpha inherently drop in status for a woman once he’s committed to monogamy with her?

And yes, he often does.
Read more here:

• Stages of power in dating

When it comes to maintaining that power, we crafted Power University to provide that final solution.

Men Shaming Muscular Men Is Intersexual Competition

Says Rollo:

Imagine for a moment that you’re a peacock. You have a magnificent spread of feathers, more glorious than any of your other peacock friends. But your lesser-endowed peacock bros tell you, “Dude, why do you feel the need to spread your tail? What are you compensating for? Do you think that makes you more of a real peacock? Stop trying to be something you’re not! Real peacocks don’t spread and shake for peahens; they have more integrity than that.

Interesting take, and at least in part true.
Still a case can be made that albeit not all, some men pursuing big muscles may indeed be compensating.
I’ve seen more than my fair share of them.

But I like this take and we’ve long shared similar takes here -wouldn’t even exclude people who say that today “got inspired” through TPM-.
As a matter of fact, we even said the same for some forms of feminism. Feminism is a big manipulative move from women against other women -far more than it is against men-.
For example, women telling other women that they “don’t need a man” and “should be strong” are handicapping other women’s ability to find and keep a great guy.

See more here about both sides of the coin (intragender and intergender manipulation):

Lucio: women tell other women not to care about their physique is a dating strategy to handicap the competition and take pressure off of themselves

She Should Make You Happy

Rollo says that most beta men make it their mission to make a woman happy.

However, women are much happier with alpha males when it’s the other way around.
Such as, her making him happy.

And he’s generally right.
He says:

The Frame and emotional investment naturally flow from her desire to make you happy. Making you happy should be intrinsically rewarding to her. Thus, she is happy in making him happy.

Yep.
Rollo, as it’s often the case, simplifies while at the same time confusing this dynamic by boiling it down to “alpha VS beta”. And doesn’t add enough details for people to understand.
We help men walk that full path in Power University.

Game Maxims

Some of these maxims are really good (and we skip the ones that aren’t):

• Game Maxim #1: Women want to get with a man who other women want to bang and other men want to be
• Game Maxim #2: Treat her like a celebrity, and she will treat you like a fan.
• Game Maxim #3: Women would rather be objectified than idealized.
• Game Maxim #4: Women say they want honesty, but they never want full disclosure.
• Game Maxim #5: Demonstrate, do not explicate.
• Game Maxim #6: Women would rather play the Game than be told that they are playing the Game.
• Game Maxim #8: Flip the script. Be the chased, not the chaser.
• Game Maxim #9: Women don’t want a man to cheat, but they love a man who could cheat.
• Game Maxim #11: Be the AMOG without being an AMOG
• Game Maxim #12: Alpha must be your predominant character; There is no Beta with a side of Alpha
• Game Maxim #13: Some girls will reject your Direct Game, who would have eventually fucked you had you gone indirect.
• Game Maxim #17: Every man loves a slut; he just wants her to be his slut.
• Game Maxim #18: A woman cannot fall in love with a man until she feels jealousy for him.
• Game Maxim #20: Game will always involve some form of risk.
• Game Maxim #26: The best form of Peacocking is having a good physique.”
• Game Maxim #28: The cues that fire a woman’s sexual response are the same cues that conflict with her security needs.
• Game Maxim #31: A woman’s love, attention, loyalty, empathy, desire, etc., are all byproducts of a man who unapologetically takes care of himself, his needs, his desires first.
• Game Maxim #33: Women would rather share a successful Alpha with other women than be saddled with a faithful Beta.
• Game Maxim #48: At some point, you have to BE the Game.
• Game Maxim #49: Red Pill men don’t find themselves; they build themselves.

MORE WISDOM 

Be Dominant Without Being Overbearing

Says Rollo:

knowing that women require dominance from men is in no way a license to be overbearing, oppressive, or abusive. Leverage that knowledge to your best effect and know that you have a responsibility to judge where the line between dominance and abuse is. It’s the difference between a woman trusting you and fearing you.

Yep, well said.

This is basically our “mix power with warmth” principle.
And it’s probably one of the good additions that Rollo learned from TPM since I’ve never seen or heard him say anything even remotely close to this before.

Also see:

• The dominance that gets you girls

Be Confident – High Confidence Always Beats Low Confidence

Says Rollo:

Self-confidence, warranted or not, prompts a submission response in women. Irrational self-confidence will always get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

Yep, great quote.

CRITICISM 

Let us provide our usual caveat here:

We dig deeper with our criticism when we see at least some genius and potential.

We wouldn’t waste this much time on mediocre books with no genius insight, or on totally mediocre authors.

So keep that in mind as we heavily dissect this book, just like we did for every other Rollo’s book:

1. Married Man, Dateless For 30 Years, Teaches Game?

Hmm…

Anything that could suggest “missing expertise” there?

Yeah, apologies to the author for putting that so bluntly. It’s a bit nasty indeed, and Rollo has enough great takes to deserve better.
Still… experience and expertise are important for anyone who self-appoints as a teacher.

Or, at least, updated expertise.

Because, sure, women are largely the same.
Rollo says that, and I largely agree.

But still, conventions and changing culture do impact dating at least a little bit.
Plus, you may forget a lot with time.

Plus x2, between us… It doesn’t feel to me like Rollo could draw from extensive and useful experience.

Rollo says he’s had 40+ lays in his “rockstar days”.

You judge if that allows him to talk authoritatively on the topic.

Besides simple numbers, diversity in that experience is also important.

A high diversity would be a man, who pulled from nightgame, daygame, cold approaches, social circles, introductions, online apps… And done that multiple times, in many locations across the world, without over-relying on any of that “rockstar status” Rollo says he did.
Yeah, OK, I was covert-advertising by describing myself.

But it’s still true.
And the point stands.

1.2. No First-Hand Experience With Completed Seductions

Another major issue for me in the book is this:

None of Rollo’s real-life data refers to any actual seduction that went the full distance -to sex-.

He admits so himself:

“I suppose that’s what happens when you spend the last 30 years writing blog posts about social trends, without going on a single date”

LOL, exactly :).

1.3. Reactions Over Results

When you have little experience taking women to bed, you end up with this problem:

You rely on reactions instead of results to judge what works.

For example:

She knew I was married and wouldn’t take her bait, but for the sake of the experiment, it was game-on from that point. Tawny already knew who I was, so that angle was dead. I got good eye contact and caught her looking twice before introducing myself formally. I then went “Dean Martin mature-guy” on her and added Command Presence to my “knowing all about her.” She ate it up. I had to dial it back at this point – she was talking about us sticking around after the party, and I wasn’t going to consolidate on anything. Command Presence was working almost too well.

Man, those are all reactions.

And hello, isn’t it common knowledge that many women flirt with the high-status guy because he is high-status (and not for his supposed game)?
And don’t you know that many women flirt with the high-status man just for self-advancement reasons, without necessarily wanting to have sex with him?

In another example, there’s a young girl at Subway.
In Rollo’s words, she was gaming him. And looked at him for just that second longer before her “beta” came to get her (which seems to me to be a pretty dominant move, actually).

Again here, you can’t be sure of anything until you make a move.
For all we know, she may have been using Rollo only to make her boyfriend jealous.

I used to know a dating coach.
He was also married.
And he bragged nonstop of all the girls he could have taken -if he wasn’t married-.

You know what that felt like to me?
Like a good excuse to brag about imaginary what-ifs.

1.4. … But My Respect To Those Who Respect Vows

That being said, the “con” is not against Rollo’s decision.

As a matter of fact, I respect people who take their “side of the vows” seriously.
So props to the author for that.

2. Rollo’s Approach Is Typical “Boyfriend Type”, NOT Player

Rollo Tomassi is a typical boyfriend/provider type, the opposite of a player/lover.

As an example, see how a provider thinks, VS a player:

Rollo: If she wants to party with her girlfriends, you lock her out of the house
Lucio: Yeah, that MAY be OK in some situations. But it’s typical boyfriend response to mate-guard. Players wouldn’t care

There are countless more examples.
But, ultimately, a good chunk of Red Pill and Rollo Tomassi specifically are relationship-type men who are at odds with women’s increasing sexual freedom.

3. Outdated, Red Pill Philosophy Over Advanced Game

Says Rollo Tomassi:

These principles of Game have been compiled from the likes of Roissy, Roosh, Mystery, myself, and various other Game luminaries from over 20 years of writing in the Red Pill and seduction communities.

Everyone can decide for themselves who are the best teachers for them.

If you’re a beginner, anyone can most likely help.

Here at TPM, we didn’t find Roosh V and his super-indirect approach to be the best source.

Mystery was naturally power-aware as many dark-triad men tend to be, but it was still a bit rudimentary. And mostly for night game.

And as for Rollo, up to you whether he’s a luminary of game or not.

And says later Rollo when asked about the best resources to learn game:

I usually refer them to the books of my seduction community friends like Troy Francis, James Tusk, Nick Krauser, and Modern Life Dating.
The Mystery Method has been the gold standard for learning Game since 2002. The foundational principles in the Mystery Method are still the core of what every Game instructor has used for two decades now.

Not really man.

Game has advanced and has come a long, long way since Mystery.

Just for one, Mystery said that “women need at least 8h with a guy to sleep with him”. And “any time you sleep with a woman after less than 8h, it’s a fluke”.
Any successful seducer who’s had women attracted to him and learned how to move fast knows what a load of BS that is.

And I’d even say: game has improved a ton since Mystery.
This isn’t a dig on Mystery: he was just an easy guy and the discipline has advanced ever since.
That’s all.

But that Rollo doesn’t realize that, well… Doesn’t say much good does it.

3.2. Geeky-Sounding Old-School PUA Lingo

OK, this may not be a major criticism.

But I still found it an important symptom of general development failure.

And that sign is that The Player’s Handbook feels like a time machine into the early PUA days.

For example:

This dynamic is also the root of AMOGing and running boyfriend destroyer Game (…)
He AMOGs you effortlessly because he’s not trying to

“He AMOGs you effortlessly” :S

4. Some Weak “Strategies” & Approaches

Says Rollo:

View the war as a whole (strategy) rather than individual battles (tactics). The hot 22-year-old you who rejects your approach (tactics) becomes the semi-attractive 32-year-old who’s glad she bumped into you again a decade later (strategy).

What’s that supposed to mean?

That instead of improving one’s approaches, he should wait for her to grow old? Or he should aim at 30+ women because they’re easier?

Yeah, that may be a better strategy for some men.
But definitely not for all since at least some men can get women at the age they prefer.

4.2. Sometimes Lost My Respect When Sounding Very Low Power

Says Rollo about the time he refused to purchase a bed and escalated into a fight with his wife:

At that point, the dynamic of the conversation shifted. The conversation wasn’t about a bed; it was now about Frame. Average men will laugh and think, “Yeah, she must’ve held out on you after that!” and for about a week, they’d be right, but I learned a valuable Game Maxim in this:
(…)

LOL.
You judge how that comes across to you.

But I’ll tell you what some men will think:

It’s a weak mindset to look at her as the dispenser of sex as punishments or rewards.
Yeah, you got your cookie-intercourse after she made you wait for a week -what a win!-.

5. Hopelessly Low Authority

Unluckily, this is more than just about this book, and may concern the author in general.

The mix of manosphere and PUA jargon mixed with the sometimes out of place scholarly lingo doesn’t help, but it runs deeper to include logic and critical thinking.

Some examples:

• Scientific posturing: Many of my readers presume I write from a position of Alpha authority. I have jokingly referred to myself as a “Lesser Alpha” – at least according to Roissy’s 2009 metrics. <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: Roissy didn’t have any metrics. It was a meaningless online quiz, and so are its results.
• Incorrect language: Obvious alpha superiority combined with marginal humility makes for an irresistible AMOG to women. <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: WTF? What does “marginal humility” mean? It feels like trying to sound deeper to inflate authority. But it has the opposite effect.
• Lacking clarity of definitions: Alpha must be your predominant character; There is no Beta with a side of Alpha <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: I get the gist -the alpha is high power and confident-. But you must define those terms.
• Simp-ish: One of these was a fantastic blonde named Tawny. Maybe 25, an unbelievably hot 8.5, had a boyfriend who wasn’t present.. <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: This just sounds low power from a 50-something. Plus, if she’s an 8.5, that’s the rating, it’s not ‘unbelievably hot’
• Childish: I never fully appreciated the potential of Amused Mastery until I had a daughter. I found myself using it with her (…) this added to my Daddy-Alpha credentials <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: Amused mastery added to your Daddy-Alpha credentials… With your daughter? I don’t know how to define that without putting the author down, but it sounds really stupid🤦
• Incoherent: I studied the unspoken communications between men and women in settings (Sexual Zones) where they’re primed to apply their interpersonal skills (or lack of). However, it wasn’t until I started contrasting what I saw with what I understood about behavioral psychology, Evo-psych, and the sexual strategies men and women evolved for. <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: ⁉️
• Pop-psychology presented as certitudes: (talking about The 48 Laws of Power) Whether that self-image is presently a reality or not is immaterial; the idea is a sound one. It’s a law of power <— 🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s note: The book is an interesting list of maxims and are not actual laws of power.

These are just some examples.
But on average, the more you develop your critical thinking skills, the more you spot nonsense.

6. Some Misogyny Still Left

There is less misogyny in this book compared to other Rollo’s work.

But you can still see it, if you can read between the lines.

For example, Rollo implies women/society manipulate public opinion to “wash their hands” of men’s suicides.
He says:

Gynocentric society dismisses male suicide rates by attributing it to men’s baseless self-pity or their inability to live up to being “real men” according to antiquated toxic masculinity standards. This is rationale reinforces popular gender memes and, at the same time, absolves women of the guilt associated with men’s sacrifices.

And:

Chivalry and traditional masculinity are fine when they serve the Feminine Imperative, but if a man gets killed or kills himself as part of that, well, that’s on him then. There will always be a need to absolve women’s guilt, or complicity, in men’s deaths.

As it’s sometimes the case for Rollo’s analyses of social dynamics, they seem far-fatched to me.
And, possibly, they’re all convoluted arguments to justify a deep-seated, potentially hidden dislike of women.

Also, generally speaking, you can’t sit with these people, laughing at blatant gaslighting, and pretend to be unbiased:

7. Castles In The Skies: Rollo Keeps Leaving Us Scratching Our Heads

Says Rollo:

What formalized Game represents to the Feminine Imperative is a threat to women’s sexual selection sovereignty. Bear this in mind; depending on how skilled a Player you are, Game removes a degree of women’s sexual selectivity. Thus, it challenges the control of Hypergamy. And even the hint of losing that control is tantamount to rape in this era.

Every time I read Rollo Tomassi I feel the same:

There is some real genius and some true great insights.

But with enough exaggerations, black-and-white thinking, and imprecise language you’re still left scratching your head thinking “what the f*ck is he talking about”.

Another example:

However, when it comes to women’s intuition, we exaggerate their importance beyond all measure. We prioritize women’s hindbrain perception and feeling above all else. We could never downplay the importance of feminine intuition without risking a lot of backlashes. Whereas men’s instincts are signs of “insecurity,” women’s instincts (feminine intuition) are raised to a magical level. Thus, when a woman says a guy “creeps her out” or is acting “creepy,” we misinterpret what her hindbrain is telling her and us.

What?
Man, that sounds like a lot of mental masturbation to me -and not well-developed enough to be coherent-.

8. “Men And Women Are Better Together”… Says Who?

Rollo says that “he always said that men and women are better together”.

Some may feel it’s a defensive cover against accusations of bias and possible misogyny.

But whether he truly means or not, it’s a weak take anyway.
It’s up to each man to decide whether he’s better off paired up with a woman, or single.

And I find that it’s emotionally weak for a man to think he’s better off with a woman.
Strong and high-value men feel they’re adding value to a woman by deciding to be with her.

These are the men women want, not the ones who think they’re better off with her.

9. Sometimes Imprecise, Incorrect, Or Plain Wrong

Including:

9.2. Exaggerations Lead To Wrong Analyses

Exaggerations seem to be common with the author.

And The Players’ Handbook is no exception.

For example:

Anything less than 100% complete honesty, genuine quality, and authentic value in a man is considered manipulative game playing. “He’s a Player!” is the epithet reserved for a man savvy enough to figure out women’s nature and leverage it to his best advantage.

I’ve never heard anyone being called a player as an offensive epithet.

And I’ve never heard someone being called a player simply because of a lie.

In truth, a player can also be quite honest and straight.

And a sexless and low-value man can be as manipulative as they come.

These exaggerations also ultimately lead to wrong conclusions.
For example:

9.3. Exaggerates The Case Against “Social Repression of Men”

Says Rollo:

(…) Game removes a degree of women’s sexual selectivity. Thus, it challenges the control of Hypergamy. And even the hint of losing that control is tantamount to rape in this era.

Even the hint is tantamount to rape?
Come on, man, don’t exaggerate.

9.4. Confuses intelligence for book smarts without real-life skills

Rollo says there is an intelligence paradox where too smart men do poorly with women.

I don’t fully agree with that.
That’s only true for smart men without social skills.

But smart men can also be socially smart and skilled.
And the IQ certainly helps to learn faster if they pursue self-development.

Also read what our forum says about it:

• The myth of smart men/poor daters

And check out:

• Mating intelligence

9.5. Incorrectly Implies Attractive Women Always Have Upper Hand

Says Rollo:

At the peak of her agency, a stunning woman holds power over men, but that power is perishable (…)

That is true for most men.
But Rollo makes no exception for higher caliber men.
And top 0.1% men have more power than any woman.

You only need to think of men like Justin Bieber, Leonardo di Caprio or Cristian Ronaldo to realize this is the case. Hordes of women chase these men, and there are many very attractive women among them.
Also see:

• Sexual marketplace dynamics

9.6. Incorrectly States Men & Women’s Mating Strategies Are Adversarial

Says Rollo:

However, Ethical Game died because, by its very nature, men’s and women’s mating strategies are adversarial.

That’s only partially true.

A man’s ideal mating strategy when it comes to maximizing offspring may be to have multiple women (albeit some men still prefer a committed relationship).
However, ideals have limited impact for most men and women.

Thus, for most men, sticking to a woman helps ensure the survival and well-being of fewer offspring, but of higher quality.

CONS

• More philosophy of game than actual game

Rollo Tomassi loves to talk about higher-level principles.

Sometimes those are good, sometimes great… And sometimes we find them with some holes here and there.

But if the aim of the book was to be a “players’ handbook”, then, in my opinion, all those off-topics should have been cut.

After another lengthy detour, Rollo must have realized it was getting too much and says so himself:

Sorry if that’s a bit philosophical for a book on Game.

Yeah, it’s OK… But would have been better for the book if you just cut it out and turn it into a post.

• Some Minor Bragging

Says Rollo:

Red Pill awareness is part of me now. It’s become my nature and personality. I default to Game. It’s not even Game to me anymore; it’s just who I am – mainly when I’m “on” and I need to interact in a social context. I am the Game. It flows so naturally for me I sometimes have to make an effort to dial it back when I see indicators of interest, or I get persistent Kino from the women working for me.

Yeah, the game that hasn’t been on a date and taken a new lover in 30 years :).
Didn’t wanna be mean with that, but unjustified bragging calls its power moves.

PROS 

Rollo Has Matured & Took Steps Forward

As far as I can recall Rollo’s past books, this may be the most advanced

Also, the level of his analysis in terms of logic, nuances and accuracy seems to have gone up.

Just to be sure, there are still generalizations and black-and-white thinking, but… Less.

And there are more positive examples of more lucid, more realistic analysis.

For example, while in the past he seemed to imply that “(every) man would go with just about anyone”, now he says that men do also have “floors” -something he may have finally acknowledged reading here, BTW-.

These are major steps forward.

Rollo Has Been Reading TPM…

… Which he’d never admit because you never mention your best resource (and critic).

But I’m pretty sure he has.

For example, some the criticism he addressed was straight from here -something I had raised, and never heard anywhere else-.

In this book for example he says that the red pill is not “feminism for men”, something I said here:

And indeed, the title there was wrong.
It’s not the red pill that’s feminism for men. It’s Rollo’s incomplete socio-analyses that are feminism for men.

The various shades of grey he adds for “alphas” and “betas” also seem like a page taken straight from our article and video on different types of alpha males.

But that’s good.
I’m glad about it.
It’s helped him add more nuances and take his work and approach to a higher level.

See more in:

• Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks

REVIEW 

The Players Handbook is typical Rollo Tomassi’s work. It mixes some hard-hitting concepts, some genius insights, and some equally important limitations.

So every time I review some of Rollo’s work I prepare for a lot of work and a lengthy review.
First, because he’s an influential figure in the male self-development world, so it matters to us and our audience.
And even more important: because we want to keep our reviews top-notch and best in class. So it takes time to cover all the good ideas, while also correcting the various imprecisions.

Rollo’s work has the potential to be up there with the best of the best.
But the over-generalizations, the pie-in-the-sky over-theorizing as well as the author’s personal biases prevent it from entering the Olympus of our recommended resources.

 But if you know how to distinguish the wheat from the chaff, then there are some great insights.

Check out the best books to read or get this book on Amazon.