WeWearMirrors Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
19	All about housework		WeWearMirrors	/r/RedPillWomen	18/12/21 07:27 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Help Needed with Addressing His Health I hear you - but your post says that you homeschool two kids and also work a part time job. I do that too, and it can be a heavy load! I think it is reasonable to ask for help. My husband is in charge of breakfast in our house and it's good for all of us.	/r/RedPillWives	16/04/22 04:26 PM
1	Help Needed with Addressing His Health You say he makes good dinners for you twice a week, so I'm assuming you mean that those are healthy dinners? can you also ask him to make breakfast a few times a week? maybe if he does more of the cooking for the family, he'll make healthier food?	/r/RedPillWives	15/04/22 03:44 PM
3	Hiring Cleaning Services? I think in your place, I would hire someone to do a deep clean once or twice a month. That way, the basic upkeep is easier and you won't feel discouraged. When my mother went back to work, she assigned us kids each a night to cook dinner and a night to wash dishes. There was also a system for sharing laundry duties, and on Saturdays we all cleaned our rooms. I am sure we all grumbled about the dishes and laundry but I remember feeling a lot of pride in getting it done, especially cooking dinner.	/r/RedPillWives	30/03/22 12:49 PM
5	Help with emotions I hear you. I don't have that specific issue, but there are other chronic issues in my marriage - mostly about my husband working very long hours at his business, which he loves but which doesn't bring in much money. I think it is hard to find the middle ground between being emotional about these things (angry, hurt, whatever) and being resigned. I don't want to be resigned and emotionally check out. I want to believe that things will get better; I want to go on believing in my husband! But we h…	/r/RedPillWives	29/03/22 05:32 PM
2	Help with emotions Just going against the grain here because I'm curious. You said that you control your emotions until suddenly you erupt and you guys have a big fight -- and then you have sex for a few days. Could it be that expressing your emotions is actually a good thing, and brings you guys closer together? And that's why you start connecting in the bedroom afterwards? I mean, obviously you don't want to have big fights all the time - but maybe there's a way you can express yourself and be emotional safely?	/r/RedPillWives	29/03/22 03:56 PM
4	Dynamics That's frustrating and I'm sorry. Why do you think your husband isn't getting involved around the house? Is he busy with something else? is he overwhelmed by the idea of helping out? is he resisting you because he's built up resentment? Is he depressed? Do you guys need the income from your business? is there any chance you could cut back on your working hours or even take a break? I couldn't tell from your post whether your business is a labor of love, or a financial necessity. Does your husban…	/r/RedPillWives	28/03/22 03:34 AM
3	What does an average day or week of your relationship look like? Married 12 years with two kids. My husband works very long hours and I work part time from home. I'd say we spend a few hours together on weeknights and most of the day together on weekends. We don't do a whole lot of separate-things-in-proximity because he's out a lot, so when he's home we like to hang out together. The exception is when he's working from home. We do some chores - mostly cooking and dishwashing - together, usually while listening to music or a podcast.	/r/RedPillWives	24/03/22 07:09 PM
4	Coming to terms with my past & what it means for me I think that if you've led a difficult life and you feel a bit different from other people, a late marriage might make sense. Take some time to understand yourself and to discover your best self. As rosesonthefloor said, look for a better job and move out. Meet new people. Develop a social persona. I wouldn't worry about meeting a man and getting married quite yet. It IS a wonderful part of life but you need to be ready.	/r/RedPillWomen	01/02/22 12:18 AM
2	Sometimes good men give bad gifts. I'd say this woman wasn't really happy in the relationship and was just looking for a reason to end things. Maybe she generally felt like they were a bad match and this pushed her over the edge. Also - objectively, I can see that some men just aren't into gift giving. But I know that I would have been hurt if some guy asked me whether I wanted a present after we'd dated for six months. It's an odd question and to me, it implies that he wanted her to say no. And after that, I'd feel bewildered if…	/r/RedPillWomen	30/01/22 02:32 AM
3	Figuring out being a stay at home wife? Oh! I misunderstood your post, sorry. It sounds like you've thought this through and have some good fallback options. Good luck and congratulations:)	/r/RedPillWomen	28/01/22 07:15 PM
14	Figuring out being a stay at home wife? There is a lot to be said for getting a college degree. Can you do that part time, maybe? Or even online? You never know when you might need to go to work, and a degree opens up a lot of options to you. I would be a little worried if my daughter decided to become a SAHW, frankly. Without kids, there is just not that much to do all day. Especially if you're someone with lots of anxiety, I would be concerned that staying home is just a way of enabling your anxiety...	/r/RedPillWomen	28/01/22 02:50 PM
7	Who you belong to - discussion I don't really use words like "belong" or "mine" to describe our household. Nothing against it, it just wouldn't have occurred to me to put it that way. We certainly love and cherish each other, and have duties and responsibilities toward each other - but I wouldn't have called myself his, or called him mine except in the normal way of referring to "my husband." Same for the kids, really. Those of you who do talk that way - what does it mean to you?	/r/RedPillWomen	28/01/22 03:42 AM
21	I don’t understand how we’ve gotten to a place in society where everyone needs to be coddled and told they are perfect I think it's a reaction to all the pressure in our environment. Used to be that people only needed to compete with other people in their social circles. Now, we need to keep up with a world of strangers on the internet. The pressure is intense and constant - I think that's partly why people try so hard to reassure themselves that they're good enough, no matter what.	/r/RedPillWomen	26/01/22 03:41 AM
3	My husband is always right To be honest, I don't think your husband is completely right about the work involved in being a mother. It is lovely that he plans to be a hands-on father. But even so, you won't be quite as free after you have kids. That's the thing about having kids - you're connected to them, emotionally and sometimes physically, and even when someone else is with them you dont have exactly the same level of careless freedom that a childless person does. (To be clear, I think this is a good thing.) Could it b…	/r/RedPillWomen	24/01/22 08:25 PM
7	The Husband Store I found this confusing, to be honest, but obviously others are getting it so maybe it's just me. The men on the first floor are the ones guides by pure emotion and primal urges, is that right? I couldn't really understand what the "ideological" floor is all about. Do you mean a political ideology? I can't think of many men I know who are truly guided by an ideology. Is the second floor supposed to be traditional, community oriented men? I totally missed what the 3rd floor is all about. I was als…	/r/RedPillWomen	22/01/22 02:01 AM
2	Confused about date invite This post is interesting- it made me realize that I've never really planned a date in this way. When I was dating, things got planned in one of two ways: We were talking and an idea spontaneously came up, so one of us suggested going. The guy planned the date. I kind of think #1 is ideal. It means you're both talking about your interests, taking risks (in the sense of admitting embarrassing stuff that you like), and looking for connections. I happen to like #2 also; I find it relaxing and fun to…	/r/RedPillWomen	15/01/22 12:06 AM
1	All about housework You sound so organized and thorough! Lovely that you've found ways to enjoy yourself amidst the work. I do agree that women tend to be in charge of the executive functioning part of housework. I'm always thrilled when my husband claims part of the housework, no matter how small...weekday breakfasts, weekend dish washing, every little bit that I dont have to think about frees up some acreage in my mind...	/r/RedPillWomen	20/12/21 12:56 AM
1	All about housework Cleaning lady sounds ideal in your circumstances. I like that your kids are involved in the shopping - I do the same, although we do it in-person. (They're in charge of fruit and yogurt. )	/r/RedPillWomen	20/12/21 12:54 AM
1	All about housework Definitely- spcializong is so important. That's one thing we've all learned!	/r/RedPillWomen	20/12/21 12:52 AM
2	All about housework Thank you!	/r/RedPillWomen	20/12/21 12:51 AM
1	All about housework Detergent as a gift is a great idea. One of my aunts gave me diaper cream - it felt weird but turned out to be one of my best baby presents!	/r/RedPillWomen	20/12/21 12:51 AM
1	All about housework Your simplified routine still sounds amazing! I hope it's bringing you joy - routines can be a lifesaver when you have a new baby.	/r/RedPillWomen	20/12/21 12:50 AM
1	All about housework Yeah, I'm realizing that everyone is very different! I imagine your home must be gorgeous. I can imagine spending that much time cooking or baking, but I don't have the discipline to clean quite that much.	/r/RedPillWomen	19/12/21 12:13 AM
1	All about housework Amazing. You must love to clean (I hope!) and I imagine you have a spotless home.	/r/RedPillWomen	19/12/21 12:12 AM
2	All about housework I homeschool and work part time too! Totally relate to the rolling parenthood into housework approach. I'm working on teaching the kids to do more, although sometimes that's a bigger job than just doing it myself.	/r/RedPillWomen	19/12/21 12:11 AM
2	All about housework Wow! Your home is huge and could probably fit several of my apartments in it. It does sound like a lot of work, although your baby must love having all those different rooms plus outdoor space to explore. I guess it's always a trade-off!	/r/RedPillWomen	19/12/21 12:10 AM
2	All about housework That sounds more or less like me, except without the pets and I didn't think to include errands and shopping. You're right - that's time consuming too. I usually wrap it into other outings so I don't count it.	/r/RedPillWomen	18/12/21 08:52 PM
4	All about housework Oh I know - the work is constant over here too. I get it. I was just trying to separate out the housework from the rest of it! I'm slightly in awe that you make a hot lunch AND desert twice a week. Please do not tell my children : ) I think I am spoiled because we get the laundry done by the local laundromat. It looks like laundry is what's taking up a lot of time for most people! (In my defense, we live in an apartment without our own washer or dryer - the building does have washing machines an…	/r/RedPillWomen	18/12/21 08:49 PM
2	All about housework Thank you! I had forgotten how much laundry babies generate, and of course with twins you have twice the load. Your home sounds lovely and I love the image of a sweet-smelling house full of plants and seasonal crafts.	/r/RedPillWomen	18/12/21 08:46 PM
1	All about housework This sounds like me, right down to my mom shaking her head! I'm impressed that you're making this work while holding down a full time job. Even if your job is not demanding, you must have great organizational skills. We have the laundromat wash and fold our clothes, which I know is a huge luxury, but my husband insisted. I generally do a load mid-week anyway because it does pile up. My husband and the kids are in charge of putting things away. Most of my housework happens while other stuff is in…	/r/RedPillWomen	18/12/21 08:44 PM
2	The cost of being a SAHM/SAHW is a husband who is the primary breadwinner. Yes, I like the way you put this! I do wonder whether many women have actually AGREED to this division of labor. Seems to me that most people kind of slide into it and then get unhappy when children arrive. But I agree with you that it's a lousy setup and needs to be renegotiated.	/r/RedPillWomen	17/12/21 08:21 PM
7	The cost of being a SAHM/SAHW is a husband who is the primary breadwinner. I agree with you. I think that RPW in general (I'm not referring to this post) could do a better job advising women in this situation. We tend to go either to "you should have vetted better" or "just be patient and feminine." Both those responses are really conflict-averse and imply that men can never improve. And I think that kind of advice also discourages women from posting about their problems. In fact, I've seen my own husband change dramatically in this area, and. I've seen similar changes…	/r/RedPillWomen	17/12/21 03:09 PM
27	The cost of being a SAHM/SAHW is a husband who is the primary breadwinner. I've seen those posts too, and I agree that it's a problem. But I don't think anyone gets into this situation on purpose. I think what we're seeing is women trying to put a brave face on a disappointing situation. They post here when they're at the end of their rope, which is why they show flashes of anger. But they really want to find a way to love and respect their husbands even though they're angry. I feel like RPW talks a lot about vetting, but not very much about solving marital problems, a…	/r/RedPillWomen	17/12/21 06:16 AM
3	How to control myself when I am being overwhelmed by my emotions? It sounds like you are suppressing a lot of emotions on a pretty constant basis. That might be why you sometimes have outbursts. It's kind of like someone on a strict diet who suddenly binges on cake. You started out this post talking about how you're fine doing all the housework. Then midway through, you said you were mad that you couldn't be a stay at home wife. Which is it? It's ok to be upset about your situation. Maybe your husband wont change, or maybe he'll change little by little. But I …	/r/RedPillWomen	16/12/21 08:26 PM
2	How to communicate with other women It was just a toss-off remark, you really dont have to assess my life! I'm a woman, anyhow. I thought OP was saying that talking about deep subjects was masculine. But in my experience, men, left to themselves, talk about sports, or their fitness routines, or work, or music, or a million other things - they dont necessarily have "deep" conversations. I find that a lot of deep conversations happen when two people are trying to build a connection. Either a man and a woman trying to connect, or two…	/r/RedPillWomen	16/12/21 01:25 AM
3	How to communicate with other women If this is just a one-time event, then smile a lot, talk about whatever subjects you have in common, and don't worry - you don't have to see them again!	/r/RedPillWomen	15/12/21 07:39 PM
5	How to communicate with other women Well, I meant look for hobbies that you have in common. That'll make it easier to join the conversation. Are you interested in any of the same things? Music, movies, fashion? If you really have nothing in common with these girls, then maybe you need to look for new friends!	/r/RedPillWomen	15/12/21 07:23 PM
25	How to communicate with other women I have similar issues. A few things that help: Cultivate some hobbies that you can chat about. You're right that most people dont want to have deep talks right away. But if you have a common interest, it's easy to have a fun and interesting conversation. Gardening, makeup, clothing, music, books, movies...these are all ideas. Practice getting comfortable with silence and mirroring. Learn to sit and listen before you jump in to the conversation. This is not about male or female energy. Men do not…	/r/RedPillWomen	15/12/21 07:01 PM
2	Cleaning tips But honestly, telling OP that her husband needs to help isnt really useful, is it? I mean, presumably she has already asked him to help and he hasn't done it. She needs actionable advice. I've been where you are, OP, and it stinks. I suggest outsourcing as much as you can, like maybe using a laundromat's services to wash and fold clothes, and getting healthy takeout as needed. As far as asking for help, I suggest asking for specific help, both in the moment ("I'm kind of overwhelmed, could you w…	/r/RedPillWomen	14/12/21 11:57 PM
4	What's your 'perfect world'? Ideally? I'd want to work side by side with my husband in some kind of home-based industry where the kids could be involved too. In reality I have zero idea what that would look like - we are city people - it's not like we know how to farm! So I guess we will keep stumbling along this way...	/r/RedPillWomen	11/12/21 08:26 PM
2	Boyfriend wants me to have more hobbies and I feel like I've gotten complacent with being a "boring girl" Oh, I understand! I've been where you are. It's awful when you get stuck in that anxiety cycle. In that case definitely a hobby is a great way to widen your world. Looks like you've gotten great suggestions here - good luck!	/r/RedPillWomen	11/12/21 02:12 AM
53	New mom feeling resentful First of all, you are in the very hardest period right now. In a few weeks, your baby will settle and will begin to spend little (tiny) bits of time entertaining him or herself- trying to grab things, looking in mirrors, kicking on a blanket, etc etc. Both my kids were insanely hard at 8 weeks and got much easier at 10 weeks or so. Maybe your husband doesn't understand what a difference he could make just by being home. Mine didn't. When he saw me working hard with the baby, he responded by work…	/r/RedPillWomen	10/12/21 02:05 AM
2	Boyfriend wants me to have more hobbies and I feel like I've gotten complacent with being a "boring girl" Is your university work interesting? Do you talk to your boyfriend about it? Hobbies are great, but I don't think a hobby is the ONLY way to be engaged in life! Some days all I do is work and take care of our kids - but in that case, I talk to my husband about the interesting parts of my work, or I think of anecdotes from my day.	/r/RedPillWomen	09/12/21 05:30 PM
8	Still on dating apps after 4 months of dating I see what everyone is saying - but I don't really think this is a communication issue. It sounds like OP has already communicated that she wants to be exclusive, by telling her man that she paused her dating apps. He made it clear that he was continuing to use the apps. Now, I'm guessing that OP kind of tried not to think about that and did her best to bury her head in the sand. (Been there done that.) Then she was suddenly forcibly reminded of it when a dating app popped open on his phone. And…	/r/RedPillWomen	06/12/21 08:18 PM
10	Need help to not end in a sexless marriage I'm sorry. This sounds so hard. I still don't really understand what the kink is but the way you describe him wanting to see you struggle and also guilting you for not having the "right" reaction... I don't know what to say. Good luck to you.	/r/RedPillWomen	05/12/21 12:30 AM
6	Need help to not end in a sexless marriage I guess it's just much less...relational than the way women behave. I mean, just to be clear, I find it very charming. But you know, when he cooks me a great meal, I talk about what a good cook he is, ask about his technique, etc. And when he takes the kids and lets me sleep in, I thank him a lot. Whereas when I do those things for him, he's like "thanks baby, I feel like a king" and then he goes about his day, spreading some extra warmth to us all. It is a very me-centered response! My brother …	/r/RedPillWomen	04/12/21 08:36 PM
5	Need help to not end in a sexless marriage I don't have the sexual problem you're describing, but this part of your post really resonated with me: "Another layer of this problem is that whenever I give in, his whole mood is so positive, he feels so loved and seems to get a lot of energy from that while I feel the opposite and there’s nothing he can do to make this feeling go away. So this makes me feel responsible for his happiness and our happiness as a family because he spends more time with me and our kid, his friends, and his hobbies…	/r/RedPillWomen	04/12/21 03:59 PM
4	What are your “wow, I’m glad I didn’t say anything!” moments? I agree with this. If anything, when I try to squash my feelings it leads to problems. I think, though, that when people here talk about STFU, they just mean that you shouldn't make a big stink over every little thing. Which is reasonable.	/r/RedPillWomen	03/12/21 01:38 PM
2	Tea Time Congratulations !!	/r/RedPillWives	02/12/21 03:01 PM
3	Advice on how to address resentment towards my boyfriend Makes sense. As far as him putting the work on you - sometimes my husband talks about how "we" should do something or work harder in a certain area that's important to him. Most of the time, that's just his way of motivating himself to do something- it doesn't really mean that he expects ME to jump in and do it all. Could it be that you're misunderstanding your boyfriend here?	/r/RedPillWomen	30/11/21 02:58 PM
3	Advice on how to address resentment towards my boyfriend Just to see whether I understand - it sounds like he is looking for close friendships and meaningful connections, rather than parties? Which part of this do you resent? Do you feel like he's putting too much of the work on you? Or do you feel like there's too much risk involved in socializing? If you're worried about risk, can you focus on outdoor activities? Maybe hiking clubs, or athletic leagues? Maybe something to help out the community, like cleaning up a local park? I would think outdoor a…	/r/RedPillWomen	30/11/21 02:35 AM
3	Date night fights. Help! Could you tell him a few things that you DON'T want to do? In your place I'd probably talk about how much I'm looking forward to the night out - and I'd emphasize that I'm looking forward to having time with him. Then I'd probably say something light like "I'm up for anything except a movie and the dive bar." I'm sure we all have things we'd rather not do and it sounds like he really wants to know what your limits are.	/r/RedPillWomen	28/11/21 02:53 AM
3	Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.” Oh, I didn't take it like that. I figured she was in charge of things like cooking and cleaning and so she was managing things in that realm on her own. Not that she was making all the parenting decisions and handling every aspect of the finances - that would be really difficult.	/r/RedPillWomen	23/11/21 04:31 PM
46	Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.” I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that attitude, as long as her husband agrees with it! I've had a lot of dumb fights with my husband by trying to involve him too much in the day to day running of the house. He is happier if I take care of it honestly. Although I'd still ask him about buying anything big like a freezer.	/r/RedPillWomen	23/11/21 12:47 PM
2	Making an Ultimatum? Sorry, I guess I was unclear. I don't mean that weakness leads to an ultimatum. Your post pointed out that ultimatums can lead to a role reversal, in which the woman has to step up and fill the man's role of leading. I was pointing out that there are other things that can lead to a role reversal. Depression, illness, job loss, all those things can leave a man temporarily unable to lead. I didn't mean that ultimatums are a good thing. But I do think that marriages are complex and that they involv…	/r/RedPillWomen	20/11/21 01:08 AM
3	Making an Ultimatum? Reading this post made me think about how most marriages seem to go through at least one major power reversal over the course of the years. No matter how strong a man is, he's bound to have a period of being unable to lead. Maybe he's ill; maybe he's depressed after losing a job; maybe he's adrift after a close friend's death. My grandfather was an incredibly strong leader, but even he got old and sick at the end of his life and needed my grandmother to take the reins. I guess I see the ultimatu…	/r/RedPillWomen	17/11/21 11:37 PM
3	Making an Ultimatum? Could you talk a little more about what you mean by "ultimatum?" I think most marriages have built-in, unstated rules that function like ultimatums. For example, "if you abuse me or the kids, I'll leave," or, " if you become an unemployed meth addict, I'll leave" etc etc. It sounds like your point is that once you reach the explicit ultimatum stage, your relationship is pretty much on its last legs - is that right? Thankfully I've never been at that stage, but I like to think that relationships …	/r/RedPillWomen	17/11/21 05:03 AM
1	I want a baby like, now. My husband does not. I think MarchBaby gave you a really good example of what parenting a baby looks like. It's not just a theoretical commitment, it's a very hands-on time commitment, every single day. Even if your child is in daycare, you're responsible for mornings, evenings, nights, weekends, and you're on call in case there's any problem during the day. I don't know how you plan to divide up the parenting work. But even if you take on the lion's share, your husband will feel a huge change in his life.	/r/RedPillWomen	14/11/21 01:10 AM
2	I want a baby like, now. My husband does not. This question is SO big and weird! I have to assume you're kidding. Having a baby is hugely time consuming - and so, in a totally different way, is having a school-age child, and so is having a teenager. Frankly, even being the parent of adult children ties you down to a certain extent. Your husband is right that it's a big life change : )	/r/RedPillWomen	14/11/21 12:54 AM
4	I want a baby like, now. My husband does not. You don't seem combative, exactly. But I'm not sure what you're hoping to get from this thread. I think the best thing you can do is talk to your husband. I would avoid making threats about leaving him and just try to explain to him how strongly you feel about this.	/r/RedPillWomen	14/11/21 12:45 AM
8	I want a baby like, now. My husband does not. I'm guessing that in your husband's mind, you two agreed on 28 as the age you'd start trying for a baby? while in your mind, 28 was more like an "if-all-else-fails" kind of plan and you really wanted to start earlier? I feel like we all do that. I've often given my husband a "lite" version of a plan, all while hoping in the back of my mind that I'd get more than I asked for. This sometimes works but not always. For what it's worth, 28 is not too old to try for a baby, and it doesn't mean you can…	/r/RedPillWomen	13/11/21 08:59 PM
4	They lied to me. I'm like you - I stayed home with my kids. My mother warned me about all of this when I was a child. I feel like I was lucky, because I knew to plan a career that I could do part time and from home. Still, I know people who made full time work and kids in daycare work for them. I don't necessarily think you were LIED to, more that this works for some people and not others. I have friends who got incredibly bored being home with their babies and they were glad to go back to work. They followed a …	/r/RedPillWomen	12/11/21 10:33 PM
1	How to handle mistakes in leadership? I see! Yes, then I can understand why you are frustrated. I am sure that your husband will take care of this soon. In your place, I'd probably just wait and try my best to be patient. I don't know if this is red pill, but I find it comforting to remind myself that my husband is a deeply flawed human being, just like me. He messes up sometimes. It is okay to notice his flaws and to feel angry at him. The main thing is to not let yourself get carried away by that anger, which it sounds like you ar…	/r/RedPillWomen	02/11/21 08:36 PM
4	How to handle mistakes in leadership? It is hard to tell from your post whether you have a legitimate problem or are just overly stressed by talk about inflation in the media. No offense - I guess I'm just thinking about the fact that sometimes, I get over-anxious about things which my husband actually doesn't think are a big deal. Could that be why he isn't doing the five-minute task for you? Could it be that in general, you need a little more help and support? Looking at your comments, it seems like you might be kind of overwhelme…	/r/RedPillWomen	02/11/21 01:13 PM
3	Thoughts on homeschooling? I homeschool and have been for four or five years now (depends on whether you count kindergarten). It's been wonderful for our family. It's definitely a lot of work, but it's incredibly rewarding and we've met a lot of great people along the way. It's also been nice relearning and reconsidering basic concepts as I teach the kids. Someone in this thread asked what happens when kids resist being schooled at home, and I think that's a great question. It definitely happens. I don't know anyone who h…	/r/RedPillWomen	02/11/21 01:33 AM
8	Why Buy the Cow When He Can Get the Milk For Free...? Right...? "You don’t just get to marriage or whatever your desired form of commitment magically and automatically. For most people, you have to meet someone, decide to go on a date with them, decide you like them enough to go on more dates with them, decide that you only want to see each other, decide to introduce them to friends and family, decide to make life decisions together like where to live or how you want to work, decide if all of your long-term goals line up, AND THEN decide to get married. For …	/r/RedPillWomen	28/10/21 01:24 AM
7	Submission vs. Basic respect You do not need to twist yourself up like a pretzel to justify a man's bad behavior. So if you're living with a broken toilet, or an angry guy who scares the kids, you absolutely have the right to be upset. If you already trust this man, that's when "submission" becomes a valid strategy, a way to bring out the best part of him. Gentleness, understanding, a reminder that you are on his team no matter what, these things can inspire a man. Still it is totally fair to get fed up if your husband has …	/r/RedPillWomen	27/10/21 01:05 PM
7	Submission vs. Basic respect I read the post you're referring to. The poster who talked about not "second guessing" her husband has been married for years and was describing a nuanced situation. It's a really good insight. There are always going to be times when it's hard to respect our men. It's useful to look at how we can handle those moments.	/r/RedPillWomen	27/10/21 12:57 PM
2	How do you find good therapy as a woman with traditional values? I think CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) might suit you. It's less about analyzing your childhood and more about improving your behavior and your emotional regulation. You can also just tell your therapist up front that you don't want to talk about your parents.	/r/RedPillWomen	10/10/21 10:31 PM
6	Was I right to intervene or should I have STFU Normally I believe in having a united front. In our house it's me who can get a little stern, and I'm grateful that my husband always supports me. I love that he always has my back. Still, I'd expect him to step in if I ever went too far and was mean to the kids. And I'd do the same for him. I think ideally, husbands and wives should present a united front, but they should also stop each other from ever going too far. OP, I'm not saying that your husband went too far. I'm just thinking in genera…	/r/RedPillWomen	06/10/21 03:47 AM
7	Back to Basics September - For Women Only Sex I don't think we can generalize about post-partum desires. What you're describing certainly was not my experience! I sympathize with what you went through, and I understand that some other women have that experience. But it's just not true that "most women" don't want much sex for 1-2 years postpartum. I wouldn't want young women to think that losing one's desire - and for years no less- is inevitable after giving birth.	/r/RedPillWomen	03/10/21 10:04 PM
2	Tea Time I don't know about you, but no matter how hard I work to stay focused, I still get tired and want to zone out on my phone from time to time. So, when I find myself getting into that mood, I do some online clothes shopping. That way I get to enjoy downtime on my phone, but I'm also making sure that I have pretty things to wear. I find I'm much happier when I have nice clothes. I mostly buy used clothes (I love ThredUp), so I do a lot of browsing before I buy anything. Same goes for thinking about…	/r/RedPillWives	30/09/21 07:42 PM
7	Back to Basics September: the Essential Duties of the First Mate You don't have to do everything on the list. The idea is that you're making concrete gestures to show love. It's a nice way to make people feel valued. I mean, that's why your mom does those things, right? I like to think that one day, my kids will do nice things for other people in part because they know how wonderful it is to be treated well!	/r/RedPillWomen	24/09/21 04:06 AM
2	For the Old Ladies: Laura Doyle is not real life I've only read Laura Doyle's blog, not her books, so I could be missing something. I like what I've read, but I find that it leaves out a lot. I agree with you that she doesn't call for blanket submission. Actually it seems to me that she's not really advocating submission. Mostly, she is focused on ending co-dependency. She's always urging women to stay in their lane -- women should let the men make their own mistakes and take care of their own lives. Live a happy life and let men be men, and t…	/r/RedPillWomen	23/09/21 07:00 PM
3	For the Old Ladies: Laura Doyle is not real life I love this - thank you! -- An Old Lady	/r/RedPillWomen	23/09/21 12:53 AM
1	Back to Basics September: Submissive Behavior as Strategy Yes! you put it all so clearly. I love this.	/r/RedPillWomen	22/09/21 01:10 AM
1	Back to Basics September: Submissive Behavior as Strategy I have also come to believe that men need something to live up to. That doesn't mean handing him a list of expectations but it means being a woman he still wants to impress and make happy. I love this! It's active and energetic without being pushy.	/r/RedPillWomen	22/09/21 01:09 AM
1	Back to Basics September: Submissive Behavior as Strategy Anyway, I'm rambling and I'd love to read more from you on this topic. Same here!!	/r/RedPillWomen	22/09/21 01:07 AM
3	Back to Basics September: Submissive Behavior as Strategy I like this, thanks. I do think that often, men don't realize quite how submissive women are. I was talking to my mother and my cousin about this. We are all happily married to good, loving men, and we are generally submissive and trusting. But all of us get frustrated sometimes because our husbands kind of take our submissiveness for granted. Yes, they listen to our wishes and our fears, but ultimately they make the decisions. And sometimes, in their male rush, they are not necessarily thinking…	/r/RedPillWomen	20/09/21 07:31 PM
4	Are there hobbies you wouldn't want a man to have? Video games would be a major turn off for me, too. But I feel sorry for the man in your story, OP. How demeaning to be ordered to stop doing something by his wife. And how odd that he'd say so in that way, publicly. I would not have continued dating someone who was into video games. As you say, I can put up with plenty of things, but that happens to be my red line.	/r/RedPillWomen	20/09/21 05:55 PM
2	Tea Time It sounds like he's snacking after meals out of habit, not because of your cooking. Maybe you can make a meal and serve potatoes on the side? I'm thinking a meat (broiled chicken, fish, or beef, say) with sides of greens and (for him) baked potatoes. You can even serve the sauces he likes on the side. That way you're both eating the same meal but you can tailor it to suit yourselves.	/r/RedPillWives	16/09/21 11:25 PM
1	Back to Basics September: A Metaphor for Men and Women’s SMV Thanks - that's helpful. So you're saying that as women get older, they wind up settling for men who may not be ideal - whereas if they marry younger, they can land higher-quality guys. I can see that. I guess I balance it against the fact that as we get older, we also gain a deeper understanding of what we value in men and in relationships, so that it's easier to pick the right mate. But it's a tricky balance. Thanks for the response and explanation!	/r/RedPillWomen	16/09/21 11:00 PM
3	Back to Basics September: A Metaphor for Men and Women’s SMV I think this post leaves out a lot. What about the widows and divorced women who remarry after they're already middle aged? What about the women who get married when they're in nursing homes? What about the serial monogamists who seem to keep on going from one LTR to another, even when they're past their prime? It's not the life I want, sure. But it's an option for plenty of women, even after their petals have allegedly dropped off. I think we ought to look at WHY women choose those options. And…	/r/RedPillWomen	16/09/21 03:50 AM
3	Would love your insights - best strategy for 23yr old girl who loves science but wants a HVM? I think it's always tricky to generalize. I'm not in these circles, but my brothers, cousins, and friends from high school are. And frankly, most of the women I know went right back to work after maternity leave. In some cases they stayed out for a year or two (which OP said she'd be willing to do) but most did not. We're talking about people who can easily afford nannies, cleaners, etc. The men in these circles work so much that they might even have trouble relating to a woman who was home all …	/r/RedPillWomen	15/09/21 11:20 PM
43	Would love your insights - best strategy for 23yr old girl who loves science but wants a HVM? I know this is a controversial thing to say here, but there are plenty of men who actively prefer to marry highly educated professional women. In some circles, having a successful wife is something to brag about and something that boosts a man's social standing. I know that's not the case everywhere, but in a lot of cases, it is. And that's especially true when the woman is doing socially valuable work, like you, OP. I feel like you're kind of pointlessly beating yourself up with these fears abo…	/r/RedPillWomen	15/09/21 10:20 PM