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blebbyroo Archive

View 5 posts and 6,306 comments by blebbyroo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

lol you contradict yourself all the time man; you just said “I literally quoted you” and now here you are saying you didn’t quote you. Ok. So now I’m biphobic and not homophobic. Right another contradiction. It’s not worth going in circles with you. Stay in your own lane feel free to speak about your own sexuality and what’s included in that or not. Again, have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 01:20 AM
2

You don’t know what literally means. You can’t leave out words and introduce new ones (cheating) and claim it’s literally the same thing. Here I’ll caps the words you forgot. If my STRAIGHT partner is having gay sex that’s a problem. Straight men don’t have gay sex which is why we date straight men and not bi men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:58 AM
2

You keep omitting words. You don’t want to be open to other peoples opinions and views (extremely hypocritical btw I hope you get exactly the same acceptance that you are showing me right now). Have a good day
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:53 AM
2

You are the one not reading. It’s not gay sex. It’s my straight partner having gay sex. There is a difference but maybe it takes nuance you don’t have.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 11:23 PM
2

That I and other straight women who don’t like our partners having gay sex makes us Homophobic. That’s untrue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 11:09 PM
2

And how would you feel if someone claimed something untrue about trans people? Just because you claim it doesn’t make it true. There’s enough anger and hate out there do you really need to add to it? And yeah claiming people are homophobic when they aren’t is definitely going to add to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 09:17 PM
3

All sexuality exists in a spectrum it’s pretty ironic that people on the lgbtqia+ community expect straight heterosexual expressions to not have a spectrum as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 08:30 PM
3

You don’t get to say that homophonic behaviour disgusts people in general. The disgust only apply if it’s engaged in by the specific person you are having sex with. It’s not disgusting if it’s between other people. You don’t get to claim that person is disgusted by gay pelple.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 08:23 PM
3

You are trying to define what is a part of heteronormative sexuality for people who aren’t yourself. All sexuality (and gender) exists on a scale and saying that heterosexuality that finds inclusion of homosexuality as acceptable in homophobic is not ok and is extremely judgmental and hypocritical especially for someone who I would imagine has to deal with judgment from others for living your own truth. It’s not a phobia to not include certain people or have certain preferences within the contex…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 07:58 PM
3

Individual people are allowed to determine what defines their own sexuality. If some straight women are fine with gay sex being engaged previously in their partners great then that doesn’t impact their sexuality. For some it does. Again the brain is the biggest sexual organ.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 06:58 PM
3

Hmmm shocker that straight women don’t want the man they intimately sleep with engaging in gay sexuality Gay people are great but they aren’t in my bed. Why would a man who Also enjoys doing gay things be welcome in my bed? Makes zero sense to expect that to be ok if that’s not what I’m also into. As long as a sexuality is legal and does not harm others (need to be very specific here because there are people obviously attracted to illegal and harmful things which I’m sure you can infer what I me…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 06:40 PM
3

Regardless if you are born with sexuality or not acting out on it is a choice (for all sexualities). Bi men wouldn’t ick out straight women as much if they actually didn’t engage in sexual activity with other men and limited themselves to women only. Gay sex is fine between gay people because everyone deserves love and happiness but I don’t want my husband who has sex with me to have had gay sex because I want him to be straight and not attracted to men. If he is attracted to men I want him to n…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 06:06 PM
5

Most foster kids aren’t babies and you shouldn’t look at fostering if your goal is adoption as fostering generally has reunification as the primary goal
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 06:17 PM
3

No. He can think I’m average or mid but any comment on my appearance should be positive and I should be the most attractive to him even if he knows there are more attractive people out there. Like I know there are some more handsome men than my husband but to me he’s the most handsome and no one compares I would choose him over any other man in a heartbeat without thought. I would also never tell him anything about his appearance that could potentially hurt him. I think that’s a basic expectatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 06:15 PM
2

I’m sorry that must have been very painful
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:58 PM
4

Absolutely not
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:30 AM
5

Yuk
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 05:56 PM
1

Read the last line. No kids and no mixed finances it’s unlikely to genuinely be combined and split
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 08:06 AM
0

How did you become a eunuch ?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:32 PM
1

This
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:09 PM
3

Hence why women share whose done what and fuck off if men don’t like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 12:55 PM
3

The fact is it comes down to he said she said in most cases. Forensics aren’t going to change that
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 05:30 AM
2

The problem is rape is very hard to get evidence on u less there is obvious violence (even then it could have been said to be consented to) or unless you are like brock turner caught on photo physically raping
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:46 AM
1

Reported.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 07:38 AM
1

You don’t see because you don’t want to. And that’s ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 07:21 AM
1

Straight men would have sex with lots of things they aren’t attracted to as well. That’s not the gotcha you think it is. Women wouldn’t mind two men if they were both only focusing on her but not doing homosexual acts
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 06:39 AM
1

Well if it’s not straight for men to like men then you can figure out why women don’t like their man being with other men
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 05:31 AM
1

You’ve got to be joking. Why would it be straighter for a straight man to like 2 men be 2 women? Most men aren’t down for a mfm threesome where all the male attention is only on woman no mm action
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/26 02:15 AM
1

Stops men from getting all the benefits of a woman at home without intending to commit to her, or wasting her time stringing her on. Men are also protected by this when they are the low income worker which as you Guys love to point out is becoming and will become more frequent. If you are scared of common law laws don’t live together. If you need to live together don’t live in an asset you own on your own, rent it out and get a new lease somewhere. Don’t mix finances. Keep everything separate: i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/26 08:21 PM
6

Stops men from getting all the benefits of a woman at home without intending to commit to her, or wasting her time stringing her on. Men are also protected by this when they are the low income worker which as you Guys love to point out is becoming and will become more frequent. If you are scared of common law laws don’t live together. If you need to live together don’t live in an asset you own on your own, rent it out and get a new lease somewhere. Don’t mix finances. Keep everything separate: i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/26 08:21 PM
0

Ts what I did. If I didn’t let him pay for me meant I didn’t wanna see him again. I would attempt a wallet grab but would be hoping he says he’s got it. By the third date my husband still got it so the fourth I insisted
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 10:58 AM
0

Nah only if she insists on the first date If she politely reaches for her wallet but then when you say I got it and she just says thank you she likes you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 09:42 AM
1

Which person is that? Like what traits
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 09:09 AM
1

Perhaps it is a sweeping statement to say women don’t in general hold homophobia. Would absolutely be location dependent due to local cultures. Where I am (Sydney Australia) it’s pretty accepting place here. Yes o think gender roles are still evident among progressives usually more so in people who want to have family units though - and ignoring gay or lesbian families- amongst straight parents there’s going to need to be certain roles filled largely shaped by biology such as birth breastfeeding…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 05:56 AM
1

Absolutely! It’s honestly pretty cringe when people publicly complain about it male or female. I get having a vent on reddit if you need one but the videos are all cringe and pushing harmful discourse. Not every thought needed to be broadcast. I think some states would be worse for sure. Red states probably but there is a lot wrong in those states imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 05:08 AM
1

Homosexuality isn’t looked down on by many women who wouldn’t date a bi man - we would actively support anyone who identifies as gay or bisexual, we would welcome them to all aspects of our lives except romantically (assuming we talking about just straight women who wouldn’t date a bi man here). As far as men not accepting homosexuality I can’t speak as to why probably because of religion or maybe even repressed sexuality I’d guess. Are you truly surprised women are cautious about bi men? Women …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 05:04 AM
1

I disagree that since men don’t have the same reaction to bi women it means straight women are homophobic or sexism. The answer is that men just are a lot more sexually motivated than women in general. And this is true of men towards all women. Like women can be wearing a potato sack and some guy will still get a hard on for her. Men have been known to have sex with women they aren’t even attracted to because they got sex. Of course if a man is actually attracted to a woman and she’s attracted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 04:33 AM
1

Most women don’t accept abuse especially as they get a left and learn what abuse actually is and then deconstruct how/why they ended up in that situation and why they tolerated it. Another comment on ensuring the idea of someone matches who they actually are : it’s why the advice of being yourself is also important because you can’t put on a show for someone long term like if the idea of them genuinely doesn’t match who you are it’s going to slip eventually and then the relationship will end. Be…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 04:21 AM
1

I think women give the men they love a looooooot of leinicey tbh. Like it’s why the phrase the bar is in hell is around - it typically is referring to relationships more than dating imo. Women give up the fantasy of their men in time as the honeymoon phase ands and they are already bonded. Huge core identity pieces would shatter that though. Sexuality and gender are topical examples. Less serious and far more common examples that women put up with and accept are things like he doesn’t actually m…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 04:09 AM
5

I would look for the following over a series of dates -eye contact when speaking to me, not looking at phone on date -has a good job or is in education to get a good job - has friends - has some hobbies -seem interested in me and asks questions about me and my life (and it’s not just me being interested in her) - at least offers to pay /split and then eventually insists on paying after I’ve already paid for a couple - keeps open communication I don’t need every hour or all day or even every day …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 04:05 AM
1

It’s why when long term relationships or marriages end due to something serious and completely out of character for one of them it’s not uncommon to hear the phrase I don’t recognise you or I don’t know who you are anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:56 AM
1

Everyone loves the idea of a person. If you want to get real philosophical no two people know the same “you”. There can be obvious trends of the versions of you people know but everyone perception of a person will differ based on accumulated interactions and observations. The key is making sure that the idea of the person you love is actually consistent with the actual persons actions and habits at least a wide majority of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:51 AM
1

Attraction isn’t black and white especially for women like it has so Many interrelated factors and if you are viewing your specific man as straight and then suddenly you are imagining him engaging in gay acts that would impact the version of him you know. Like you can’t change someone’s sexuality gay people can’t just become straight, straight women aren’t going to turn gay or even bisexual if they’ve kissed a woman, and bi people can’t just turn off one of their preferences. Why do you think th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:46 AM
1

No gay people aren’t gross. Gay sex itself isn’t gross. My husband performing gay sex would be gross to me and would impact my attraction to him. Even if he never actually did it but if he told me the thought of it turned him on i would find that gross. I’m sure if I told him the thought of peeing on him turned me on he would find that gross even if we’ve never done that and I’ve never done it to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:34 AM
1

My man should be straight and not be ok with doing gay sex acts because he’s not into men. The thought of my man specifically performing gay sex is gross. Gay sex in general is fine whatever floats an individuals boat. Just like the thought of certain kinks to me is gross but if it floats someone else’s boat great, they just won’t be having sex with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:22 AM
1

I’ve already done so.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:16 AM
1

I mean I do get it from their end it’s hard enough finding a partner these days who you Are attracted to and who treats you kindly and if you are outside of the majorities preferences I’m sure it makes it even harder and while that would be a tough pill to swallow griping about it doesn’t exactly change it nor does assuming those who hold the preference hold Ill will towards them. Thank you for your comment ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:08 AM
2

It’s not about his past. It’s about what sexual acts he is ok performing and being performed on him. What he’s attracted to. I don’t care how many women he’s had sex with. I would care if he was sexually abusive towards them, is he was into humiliating them, into water works or fecal play because that’s sexual acts that would signal he’s into things I’m not into. So it’s not about the past it’s about what he’s into. So try to twist it however but you can’t put words in my Mouth and create sweepi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 03:06 AM
1

Thank you - I edited my comment for clarity I seem to make extra typos and don’t proof read in the early morning before my coffees lol. I genuinely think bisexual and homosexual people (along with every other flavor of lgbtqia+ ) are just regular people deserving of love connection etc even if I can’t romantically be that person for them, I could (and do) have connections platonically and collegially.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 02:05 AM
2

It’s like a sexual preference. I also wouldn’t date a guy until a humiliation kink (being humiliated or wanting to humiliate me), into play with bodily waste etc, even if he says he doesn’t need it each time and even if he’s never actually done it but he would be willing to do it. I would find it just off putting and wouldn’t continue with relationship. Men having sex with men is fine but not if it’s my man
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:25 PM
1

The program could run like a genuine job, applications and prior qualifications (such as education, child working experience etc) to apply and be approved. We don’t need certain types (drug addicts, abusers, uneducated etc.) being paid medium wage to raise crappy kids
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 01:25 AM
1

It’s only a delusion if you decide it’s ok to stop striving for better mental health. Not everyone is going to be as concerned with wealth building many people are happy with simple lives or we wouldn’t see people with partners with disabilities (who had them prior to relationship starting) and I won’t lie this concern of mine as coloured a lot of the way I interact with the world and how I plan to raise my kids etc, but many people aren’t. If you did ever get around to doing that reddit search …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 08:21 PM
-1

I don’t think bi men are monsters man. You are human you are deserving of love. I just would not be attracted to a bi man that does not mean you are a monster. A bi man would be invited into every aspect of my life except for romantic. Hardly the view of someone who thinks of you as a monster. We honestly have made good progress for most marginalised groups I don’t think most people balk at people having interracial, various sexual relationships but even those who don’t balk and think of them as…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 07:59 PM
2

I am sorry I know you are hurting I promise that’s not what I meant even though what I do mean is also not very charitable in some ways. Everyone does deserve love and there are people out there for everyone even if not everyone is going to be on board for all the realities of treatments and the up and downs. I think one of my personal experiences both relationships and just how I grew up means that I’ve known and know what it is to struggle and I think as a parent I just want my kids to avoid s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 07:55 PM
1

It’s not going to go away no that’s why you need to constantly treat and be on top of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 06:57 PM
1

Or instead of that you should focus on doing your best to keep at treatment even if you feel it’s not helping don’t stop trying. In addition, you need to make sure you actually communicate when you are struggling even if talking about it sucks, it’s really isolating when your partner is feeling down and you aren’t sure if it’s you or not even if they say it’s not. And unfortunately the hardest one is year you probably gonna have to keep pushing through even when it’s exhausting because it’s not …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 06:50 PM
3

Mmm I don’t think it’s a kink I think it’s a sexuality like I’ve also included asexuals in that short list over because that’s also a sexuality. I don’t think most women with my position are homophobic. I feel homophobia needs to extend to all aspects of interaction to genuinely be homophobia. I don’t think exclusion of dating is enough to be homophobia since dating in inherently discriminatory and not because you hate or are afraid of people but because you just don’t feel attraction - which is…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 06:23 PM
0

Ok and there’s also people who are into heavy bdsm, asexual, poly etc. being any label outside of cis heterosexual is probably going to narrow your dating pool. A lot of bi men date bi women, just like gay men date gay men, lesbian women date lesbian women and straight women dat straight men. There will be exceptions to that obviously but expecting people to date people outside of their sexuality preference isn’t going to fly for many of them. A lot of gay and lesbians also don’t date bi people …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 06:11 PM
0

I don’t care if he fantasises about another woman because it’s not gay and I don’t want my husband engaging in gay sexuality. I don’t need to worry about this though I take care of myself and am confident my husband wouldn’t. It’s funny guys here don’t get it. They have a problem with women having sex even before they are in a relationship with other men and would feel absolutely disgusted if their wife was wanting to be fucked by other guys but a woman feeling disgusted that her husband would e…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 06:03 PM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 05:28 PM
0

It’s more than insecurity it’s a visceral ration of no seeing my partner do that or even thinking’s it’s possible is sexually repulsive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 05:19 PM
0

If they are fantasying about men they aren’t straight and yes we would stop dating because they aren’t straight and I would encourage them to go act on that since I don’t particularly want to have a partner come to me 10 years down the line and feel they need to explore that side of themself. My husband has lots of casual and adventurous sex prior to me (so did I) I’m not worried that he will have some unmet fantasy that will lead him to stepping out or to grow resentment. If gay sex is happenin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:23 PM
0

I commented this sort to someone else “ I wouldn’t want “gay sex” in my own bedroom seeing as I’m not gay. If my husband is fantasising about men then there is gay sex in my bedroom and it’s not something I can help him with. If he wants to be pegged I can do that and it’s not gay sex since I a woman am involved and he’s wanting the anal stimulation vs a penile penetration. Gay (specifically male here ) sex is not gross or wrong, I however am not a man so can not partake and thus don’t want it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:59 PM
0

Mmm I disagree like I wouldn’t want “gay sex” in my own bedroom seeing as I’m not gay. If my husband is fantasising about men then there is gay sex in my bedroom and it’s not something I can help him with. If he wants to be pegged I can do that and it’s not gay sex since I a woman am involved and he’s wanting the anal stimulation vs a penile penetration. Gay (specifically male here ) sex is not gross or wrong, I however am not a man so can not partake and thus don’t want it in my specific bedroo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:54 PM
0

I don’t know if it’s masculinity that feels like it’s what’s being reduced with the image of a partner doing homosexual acts. It’s perhaps related but mostly those acts are gay sex acts because it’s two men, and I’m not a man I want a partner who is fully and only into sex with women’s like it’s not the action (for example if a guy wants to be pegged that’s not a gay sex act because it’s between a man and woman, it’s only gay if he’s being penetrated with a penis vs some other tool) and I’m stra…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:48 PM
5

I’ve said it before. I get accused of homophobia but I disagree since I don’t care if men have sex with men, I love being friends with gay men, gay men (and bu men obviously) deserve rights in the workplace and the freedom to live how they like without persecution. I just don’t want MY man to be fucking (or like the idea of/or being ok with fucking and being fucked by men). I want a straight man who respects men but is exclusively sexually attracted to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 10:22 AM
8

I’m sure some women do worry about diseases etc but yes for many we just don’t like the ides of our man with a man it just kills our own sexual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 10:15 AM
7

Or thst we don’t like the idea of a man we fuck bring fucked by or fucking a man because we want a straight man
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 10:13 AM
0

Honsestly even if the attraction is lopsided I’m not really into a man who “craves cock” At all
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 08:51 AM
6

I honestly don’t think most women who identify as feminist are out there preaching and discussing it. Most people are chill and would boil the belief down to women should have health and bodily autonomy and be able to choose what to do with their lives. The deeper aspect of feminism such as knowledge on waves, literature etc I think most women don’t know about (myself included) I agree with the other women are saying about why we here though: it is fascinating and also so alien in thinking in so…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:38 AM
2

Nope, hallmark of getting older
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:34 AM
1

Also as a side note I would maybe do a few searches here in reddit about dating people with mh and you might get a better perspective. Many even with mh are saying they wouldn’t be good in relationships especially when unmanaged and unmediated and even those who are treated likely husband still cause loneliness or burnout in their partners due to their mh.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 11:24 PM
1

I would advice against it because of how intimate I am with it I see my brother, I see my husband and I’ve had friends with mh issues. They all have hurt or would hurt their partners to varying degrees (obviously situational) that is directly related to their mh. So I think the likelihood of mh causing harm to partner is greater than not even if it’s not gaurunteed that is just pattern recognition. I’m also a human whose flawed and know if my kids had mh u would want them to be happy just like a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 09:20 PM
2

Thinking I would be willing to let my kids cause harm to people. I’ve already said if there is harm I would say something to the partner. I’ve also said if there are mh issues as a a parent I would make focus on getting them treatment. What you are reaching is that because I would advise my children to avoid falling in love with those with mh issues - to avoid potential hurt or at the very least the dramas and frustrations that come with having a partner struggle with mh - and me not advising th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 08:46 PM
1

I think in your last paragraphs those examples are fine but if someone has mental health issues it’s easier to walk away. I say this as someone whose dear husband struggles and I’m lucky that he treats it. If I started over single for some reason I would avoid any mental health issues in potential partners. It’s draining in ways unless you have been the partner of that you wouldn’t understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:46 PM
1

Seems like your reaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:30 PM
1

I mean yeah dude parents always gonna want what’s best for their kid even if that having varying standards for them and others.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 08:54 AM
1

Everyone is allowed to I can’t stop people from dating anyone. Even my brother I’m not actively involved in his love life. He’s still “allowed” to date even if I don’t think I he would be a good partner. Even my kids I can advice but ultimately people gonna do what they thinks best no? I would say something if they were being hurt not if they just gonna do what they gonna do. His grandma didn’t say anything until I was being hurt despite probably knowing he had issues too. It’s also not hypocrit…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:55 AM
1

Kind of a product of the environment being so expensive and how bad relationships can literally eff you up deeply in so many ways that people just want to be careful which I get. Like I was a wreck after a couple relationships and I mean genuinely was emotionally abused for awhile and after I left I was all twisted for awhile and became toxic myself. It’s also age dependent like my brothers situation might not have been so bad at 18-24 but at nearly 30 it’s the next stage of life. I imagine in y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:12 AM
1

I thought we were talking about my kids not kids partners. No I wouldn’t tell that to my kids partners unless they were (my kid) hurting their partner through their mental health or making them (the partner) have bad mental health themselves then yes I would tell. Of course parents do what they can to protect their kids, and while that protection doesn’t extend to everyone in the same way there are lines where I would then say something. My ex’s family (his grandma and aunty) both encouraged me …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:51 AM
1

It’s a spectrum - not your best can mean a lot of things. My brother is not his best currently but not his worst. Neither points would I think he would make a good partner but as I said he’s making progress so think he will get to a point where he could manage a partner and be a good one without it being worse for his mh. I haven’t said you need to date people at their best: like of course that’s ideal but also unrealistic. But there’s a wide scale from your worst to your best and there’s many p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 02:20 AM
1

Of course there is nuance and context with mh. I understand it extremely intimately which is why I’m saying if someone has a choice to let themselves the chance to fall in love with someone with mh or to walk away while there is zero investment to find someone else with no mh issues than I would suggest the do the latter. Even this isn’t a guarantee because as I said earlier accidents can happen and people can become disabled or develop mh issues especially after a bad accident however, it could…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 01:27 AM
1

My brother is about 30, he’s not quite ticking the boxes of being a self sufficient adult yet, if we were talking about a 20 year old it might be different. Most people 30ish tend to date for marriage or at least for long term relationships and I’ll say again it’s about more than being broke. If my kids deal with mh I feel I’m very well prepared to support them seeing as I’ve had lots of practice with my husband. He would also have a more intimate understanding of its depression or autistic trai…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 01:05 AM
1

Things without context often sound bad. Sliding doors and all that. Like if I had zero investment in a partner but knew their mental health was bad yeah I would walk away. Life doesn’t always work like that though and I was already invested by the time the issues became apparent. It is what it is you can’t always avoid unfortunate circumstances just like people get into accidents everyday and become disabled. My point was that if you have zero investments though don’t invest in someone whose lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:52 AM
1

That’s not what I said. But ok. My husband has mental health issues. The difference is he treats it and keeps trying. My brother doesn’t. Two people opposed to treatment is a recipe for disaster. Even with me having good mental health it can be really hard and sometimes lonely having a partner with depression. If you don’t believe me go check out r/depression_partners The reality of what I’m saying isn’t always beautiful and sunshine and rainbows and I would absolutely reccomend to our children …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:38 AM
2

Oh for sure when my little guy needs a talking to he will be full Name vs nickname. I think it depends on the person I think everyone needs a formal and less formal version of themselves if they have a regal, traditional or classic name. We don’t want to have to be “Elizabeth” all the time in a world of light hearted Kelly’s - liz or Beth are good for those situations just like Gus or auggy would be for Augustine.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:23 AM
1

If my brother found another person in his situation I think it would be toxic tbh. Two individuals with mental health issues can drag each other further into a depression, cause regression when one is doing well, enable the mindset of nothing is going to change / get better so might as well continue on with the status quo. My brother isn’t just broke, I would have hoped my initial comment made that clear. If he was just broke the situation would be different. Broke people can and do date within …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:20 AM
2

My son has a name akin to one of your examples and using Augustine as the example and we think it’s cute calling baby him Gus / gussy / Gus Gus auggy vs Augustine for a baby. I’m sure as he ages he will be able to Grow into the more mature version of the name such as Gus and then possibly when he’s a professional Augustine. But I live in Australia and all names are shortened. If he’s not gazza it’s a win.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:15 AM
3

Do it! Maybe he was nervous or maybe he’s leveled up. Maybe it will be like pulling teeth again and if that’s the case wish him well and don’t open the door again!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:11 AM
2

I think financial stability is vital in both partners. Neither partner should be carrying the weight of another solely on their own. But more than financial stability it’s not just caring within their capacity. Some people don’t HAVE the capacity to do half the things on the list I gave (and I’m not talking about the things that cost money) and my brother is currently likely unable to have the capacity to do things like actively listen and lighten the load in some way such as cleaning, offering …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 12:04 AM
2

Thanks for the question by the way I think it’s a lovely one!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 11:51 PM
2

Someone who is emotionally available - listens and remembers what you say, puts their phone down to talk to you. Someone who try’s to make your day a bit easier and/or better- could be bringing a coffee without being asked, picking up chocolate on the way home, remembering you said you like a particular movie and picking up tickets to see that movie in concert etc. someone who financially supports themselves and adds to household income - able to plan financial goals together or at least reach t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 11:50 PM
6

Because of the person is so focused on attraction they aren’t going to realistically care if what they are doing or not doing is healthy or unhealthy if it gets them attraction (steroids for example on men or ozempic without diabetes for women or any other number of examples) but highlighting that attraction is actually hindered by that mindset might make them consider more than saying something is unhealthy (because they can just disregard it if they think the unhealthy thing leads to attractio…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 11:08 PM
2

And women don’t find all Women attractive but it is true that the ones who are probably ugly enough to not be viewed as attractive would have a harder time fitting in unless they had some other exceptional quality. It’s sad but yes you are right humans generally do prefer attractive people even just for friends and colleagues
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 11:00 PM
2

This could be way off base but seems like your looking for a evolution theory (which could all be bs btw) but here’s one, women find women attractive despite not being attracted to them because we are able to easily make connections with each other and band together which increases odds of survival when we all work together and feel good around each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 10:45 PM
6

I think leaving gender out of it the statement is still true. Women who do everything for the view of men would also be deeply unattractive. People in general could be said to “perform” if they do anything that’s socially expected. Have a job? Performing. Go for walks and exercise? Performing. In this context the only way one might not be viewed as “performing” is by being a slug in bed rotting all day. But realistically who wants a slug? What do you talk about and do beyond bed rotting? So I th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 10:28 PM
2

No I said 99% of people DONT think of people as only their genetalia…did you perhaps misread?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 09:42 PM
1

I think it’s less about insecurities and they are (in general/ stereotyped) less likely to be bitchy to parents, less slamming doors, less I hate yous etc. Like I was a hard teenager and I can fully admit it and am already like praying my daughter isn’t as bad as I was (but then I was dealing with shit I’m also hoping my daughter doesn’t have to deal with). My brother conversely was far more regulated as a teen and actually responsible up until about year 11 when he got in with the wrong crowd w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 06:32 PM
2

Same for me
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:44 PM
3

Thank you her comment really pissed me off not because I felt it was true but it’s extremely harmful to vulnerable mothers. Ppd and ppa already too common. I had an emergency c the first time, tried really hard for a vbac round two but at 41+3 had to choose induction on ercs and chose the latter for baby safety. Sad that I didn’t get my desired outcome but happy I have my healthy baby and that we are both ok and living life together.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:33 PM
1

I think they actually mean they won’t have the teenage angst and hormonal mayhem girls go through from about 13-19 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:27 PM
1

And that’s deeply unattractive mindset. Do things for you, to make yourself feel good,fulfilled and enjoy life. If everything is done for the sake of a relationship or women you aren’t even really a whole person in some ways more like a caricature /butler. I genuinely don’t believe this about men though, most the men in my life actually do things for them, they follow their own interest and wants and are confident and successful for themselves which in turn is attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:23 PM
2

Romantic relationships aren’t the only type of relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:08 PM
1

Rendering what useless?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 05:07 PM
6

Because he would be a bad partner currently. Unstable with so unable to do dates or contribute to a relationship, Soends what money he does have on vices, has zero self esteem so would be needing constant endless assurance, can’t drive currently and has no car so always would need a ride or would rely on public transport limiting time and access, and currently is up and down in mood. I’m not saying he can’t date but why does any of that sound like a good partner? Why should women (or men if gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:59 PM
2

Aren’t you lovely. Nothing life said is awful btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:56 PM
4

Just in case it was hard for you to be around women without being bitter, I’m glad you don’t sound like you are there. Desire from women is easier when you have an interesting life full of connections - provide value to your community and you will make connections. Be of service to your fellow man (and women)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 07:15 AM
3

You have value as a human being. Do you live at home? I’m sure your parents love you. If you feel you currently have no value you can try create some - not in the sense of performing for women specifically but as a human. All humans have value in how we impact our world. Go out and volunteer somewhere, help people, help men if you can’t bring yourself to helping women right now (that’s ok) go to a soup kitchen and serve. Humans honestly have value through connection and if you feel you have none…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:34 AM
6

Pretty privilege is real yes but I’m Sorry I promise I’m Not trying to be facetious but I still don’t get how it relates to the quote - like even “ugly” people have value as a person like they can still positively impact their communities and their families and experience and give love (even just platonic, familial and or even like love with pets etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:13 AM
8

I honestly don’t think 99% of the population loves other people for their genitalia…. People are more than their genitalia dude it’s not just dude an and dude b are interchangeable because they both have a penis. Men who like woman a is interchangeable with woman b because they both have a vagina also don’t tend to do well in relationships (if they can even get one). Idk this comment makes me worried for you and honestly the women around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:06 AM
8

Honestly not sure how any of this conversation relates to the quote
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 03:43 AM
14

It’s their own problem and fault for letting their internal self esteem be determined by a relationship then and ironically contributes to making it harder to find one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 03:28 AM
24

You (they) are allowed to want that. Wanting it doesn’t make you entitled to it though, not having it doesn’t diminish your value as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 03:17 AM
31

I think it’s great. You can have value though and be loved for just being you from your family and friends and not from all potential romantic partners though. So I think it’s great but not very relevant for ppd dating discussions. Like using my brother for an example he’s had a hard adult life gone off rails learned some mental health diagnoses etc. would he be an attractive romantic option? Probably not right now however he still has value as a person, and we still life him even as he currentl…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 02:58 AM
2

You clearly don’t know the meaning of that word
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:40 PM
2

That’s the plan! 3:30 rise tomorrow to do it so I’m probably going to bed in the next 30 mins max. Lol younger me laughing at me in bed asleep around 839
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:12 AM
1

I loved night life prior kids, now it was a late night getting home at 11. And the 3 drinks i had all night I was thinking more of the set back to my gym goals where as before would have been a pre game but ah such is life.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:05 AM
1

If you feel that strongly then definitely don’t go lol I had fun I’ve never done it before but I did enjoy those magic mike movies a few years ago and this was kinda like that At first I thought those movies would be stioid but when I went with colleagues o was like oh ok I get it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:57 AM
1

I’m not with you on that one I hate the dentist do take really good care of teeth to avoid problems when I go every 6 months. The shoe was fun they were good dancers and entertainers before strippers and honestly I bet most of them were gay
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:53 AM
2

How many men here would view going to a male strip show as an acceptable activity for girls night on a special occasion such as bridal party, milestone birthday, divorce party etc ? I’m sure none. I went to one last night and had a blast. Husband knew didn’t care (nor did any of the husbands / partners of the girls). I even got to go on stage and get a dance. The girls took a video and I asked husband if he wanted to see he said he didn’t care and didn’t need to see. Guys here are prudes. Also n…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:22 AM
–

I don’t think it’s a problem. Until the world manages its resources better in a way that moves away from capitalism and being profit driven then our population is already too high for resources. If we became far more humanitarian and worried about preserving our environment then we can revisit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:15 AM
5

Ok ignoring all the flags with this comment and I’ll just pretend that women do decide to spontaneously choose men at random to be their boyfriends despite how they act, this could also mean women are choosing poorly since you don’t actually know the person. Quiet and reserved can also be creepy and cruel you just don’t know. I’m not saying all quiet and reserved men are creepy and cruel but thwy could be literally anything and you would have no idea. That’s why you get to know people before dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:01 PM
0

What is your example I’ve re read your previous comment and only see the one for men? Also though how do women work to make men more attractive to them? Women already more likely to fall for a guy if he has a good personality than men are (excluding looks) but in saying that you generally have to be brutal - average looking personality doesn’t really change someone whose “bad” looking but guys severely overestimate what is bad looking
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:55 PM
1

Your jobless gamer incel example is off - because the person is remaining in an unattractive state be growing and changing actions, it would be more apt if the gamer incel grew up decided to get a job but then got a low job like stocking shelves and was angry that now that he’s making better choices that he’s not viewed differently: the truth is for both the prior party girl and the prior incel a single good choice now doesn’t show a genuine change you need other actions you have to genuinely ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:02 PM
1

Boring person - unmatched i hope
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:49 PM
2

People can be found worthless in the context of individual relationships yes. This does not impact the individuals sense of worth to themselves or family
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:20 PM
2

I want you to describe why you think the concept of value is meaningless within a relationship. It’s obviously going to be subjective. A potato might hold zero value to someone rich and living in west but someone starving in poverty across the world would probably highly value that potato. So asking a question like what is value is absolutely a nothing burger in the context of this discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:02 PM
2

Ok I’m feeling we going in circles at this point so good luck and I’ve given pretty explicit examples but you don’t seem to grasp it still
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:44 PM
2

Ok I’m feeling we going in circles at this point so good luck and I’ve given pretty explicit examples but you don’t seem to grasp it still
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:43 PM
2

Not an answer to my q
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:31 PM
2

You haven’t explained why you disagree with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:19 PM
2

I’m not the one who Needs to recomsider this since I’ve never struggled with attracting and keeping partners. I know how to Provide value and how to evaluate value in regards to how things and people impact my own life
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:10 PM
2

Sorry but no abuse is not subjective that sounds like excusing abusers to me. Struggle is subjective. If to you Personally you are struggling then for you it’s a negative: everyone will Have different opinions and likes hence comparability and valuing relationships is personal as said before. Again highlighting that perhaps this is autistic deliberate non understanding
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:03 PM
2

Way to ignore every other metric - even the fact that I specified physical abuse. Leaving abuse entirely out of it though there’s lots of other metrics I gave all of which can paint a picture on if a specific relationship is positive neutral or negative. If you have to truly wonder if a specific action is abuse or not though it’s at a minimum probably not a healthy action to be on the receiving end of and probably a ‘negative’
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:52 PM
2

Am I being physically abused - yes or no Do we struggle to buy groceries - yes or no Do we have financial stability - yes or no Does my partner contribute to, and preserve our resources- yes or no Doesn’t partner waste our resources (example gambling) yes or no Does my partner contribute to house chores - yes or no Does my partner think about me and bring me little thoughtful gifts (mine brings me chocolate for example) - yes or no Does my partner notice if I’m struggling and offer to help more …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 06:20 PM
2

Correct but there are other obvious metrics.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:45 PM
2

Because that’s the reality of relationships: all relationships are either negative net neutral or positive. The strongest ones are positive. This could be like parent and child, close siblings, close friends and healthy relationships where both partners feel they are getting a good deal and are lucky in their relationships. Net neutral where the combination of traits or realities of the relationship are sometimes good sometimes bad you likely feel mostly meh not deeply either way and the obvious…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:42 PM
2

I’m asking this genuinely - do you have autistic traits? You seem very rigid in your thinking, mostly becomes determining value for relationships doesn’t need a framework. You either add to someone’s life or you don’t, you should add because that’s just who you are you just have a job and are considerate vs working out what amount you need to earn and how many considerate tokens or whatever you need to apply within potential relationships. Can’t you see this type of thinking won’t work with anyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:36 PM
2

Life is too nuanced for schemas
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:20 AM
2

Ok well I’m not speaking that literally most people generally don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:23 AM
2

If you want to be literal sure homeless people can be adults and not do that but is that the standard you have? Teens also fit that but teens grow up and those early love relationships generally end too
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 08:09 AM
2

I mean that’s just being an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:20 AM
3

The investment is in yourself though that should be the point and the relationships come after. But beyond that the point was for you to be valuable in a relationship not how much investment before you reach that point. Realistically if you having a job and not bad financial Habits and you date within your social class then you are probably ok
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 04:59 AM
3

As much as it takes - different for everyone. What is the purpose of this question? And I mean that genuinely like what are you trying to get at. It’s different for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 04:20 AM
2

Perhaps. Or just invest in yourself enough that it doesn’t matter what your beliefs are and you will find a partner anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 03:51 AM
2

In this case it’s your beliefs that would have limited impact on outcome not mine
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:50 AM
2

You are free to think what you want just like everyone has that freedom
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:13 AM
2

That’s kind of the implication of value in this context man
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:10 AM
2

Then that’s a net neutral and probably not worth it for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:04 AM
2

Themselves. Every person is their own authority on who to date. Otherwise known as personal preference. Most people funnily enough prefer not to be poor and struggling if possible and your romantic partner is one of the biggest contributors to your personal finances. Either they contribute and you build together, or they are a drain in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:24 PM
2

Most adults looking for a partner. Keyword most though some People wouldn’t care
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:13 PM
2

Mmm it’s the same for women but yes zero financial leverage and you are severely disadvantaged because in today’s world not many can survive on one income alone for multiple people. Men should also and are increasingly holding those standard too. If you have nothing (an income) you probably not ready to date
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 08:41 PM
2

I disagree. Some pairings don’t bring value. Assuming lack of contributions like finances, looks, home domestic skills etc. Good conversation isn’t enough for life to run smoothly. Some pairings don’t even have good conversations btw. And even for people who do have good traits the reality is live don’t pay the bills so for some people even if they are good people if they are a drain on a financial situation even due to circumstances outside of their own control it would be very hard for some of…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 07:54 PM
2

It’s not dehumanising to realise that we do essentially need to add value to another persons life if we want to t a relationship. This however guest mean that if you can’t bring value to a relationship that your life and experience has no value to you, your family friends etc just not currently to a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 06:45 PM
1

You want more specificities sure, 1 in 4 is women have experienced violence from a partner in Australia it’s 1 in 3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/ https://aifs.gov.au/media/one-three-men-report-using-intimate-partner-violence The fact you think women should just get over it when women either have directly experienced this or closely know someone a friend a family Member etc who has just shows the minimising attitude many men seem to have against this. Attitudes won’t change overn…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 07:33 PM
-1

Many aren’t working to be better, many wish things were how they were before, many don’t help enough in the home, many women still suffer dv, many men still think sex is the most important thing a woman can offer. When women say they hyperbolic “men aren’t lonely enough” they mean if they (enough) genuinely cared in the way you are implying they do, the above shit would be far less common. Also I’ll add most women don’t hate men they just don’t think it’s worth having relationships with them. Ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:18 AM
1

I usually qualify the request with a time frame. Can you please take the bin down when you go; or do you mind taking this bin down which generally means I would prefer it done now but as long as your getting to it in the next 10 mins or so. Usually if I take the bag out tie it up and put it near the door so I can put a new bag in he will take it down anyway though since he knows I’m doing other things (cleaning or attending to baby)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:34 PM
1

If this is a real scenario truly about head then it’s either you don’t smell or taste good even when clean, you whine or nag about it making the activity inherently unappealing or unsexy, you finish too quickly and then give a poor reciprocation, or she doesn’t like some aspect about this act with you, or she is lying about truly liking it. Those are the only options. If this is the case and you really wanted someone who does this with you you should 1. Stop nagging it that’s the cause, or 2 bre…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:30 PM
-2

Kind of human instinct isn’t it
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 06:29 AM
4

Hmmm maybe men in the past shouldn't have treated women like shit and the cycle of distrust might not have started
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 12:31 AM
0

No . There’s enough hot guys with good personalities and I knew I was attractive enough and interesting enough to find one of them. I would for friends though if I needed more friends
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 06:11 PM
1

Proud of you for taken that step, keep it up!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:26 PM
2

If your an early bird already that’s half the battle. I find drinking lots of coffee helps 😂 2 when I wake up 1 to get my brain going the other to get my body going and then one when I’m back home after class to keep it all running smoothly
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:13 PM
2

It’s a great idea board games because you all have a task to work on and set rules of engagement which invites game talk which can lead to actual talking
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:05 PM
1

Don’t feel lazy. I’ve always preferred ungodly morning hours to get shit done rather than being a night owl. Even in uni I could never do an all nighter much preferred sleeping at 8pm getting up at 1am to study or finish assignments lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:02 PM
0

Yeah it’s becoming mine too. I feel bad for my partner since he doesn’t sleep great and if I’m gone and baby stirs it’s even less sleep for him but I can’t workout in afternoons so I don’t have any other options
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 08:01 PM
3

Getting up at 330 am 3x a week to do a 5am workout has been brutal but with 2 kiddos one still breastfeeding there’s no other time for me to do it (330 so I can feed baby and then have 2 coffees before going) Ngl proud of myself though feel like I’m bouncing back quicker this time around
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 06:13 PM
5

This is ridiculous. Would you be upset if your husband is liking smiling pics of other women? Probably. Are you unable to post smiling pics to not be hypocritical?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 05:44 PM
3

Waiting for sex if you want a relationship is a good way, seeing if he pays for dates is another, seeing if he sticks to his word is also good - doesn’t cancel on you for a whim, introduces you to friends, communicates with you readily and openly, Sure some of those can still be faked through but you also need to be a good read of character. If someone still gets through all that and deceives you well it says far more about them as a person than you and likely next time you won’t be unlucky agai…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 09:22 PM
10

The fact that redpill men love to go on about accountability but then take none themselves. Lol, gold
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 02:44 AM
3

Let’s not pretend your parents have a similar situation. Let’s also not Pretend that marriage counselling for two years is a long time trying to get things on track
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 02:41 AM
1

Most Men haven’t filled the gap despite the complaints though. And years vs initial month/s is a great deal for men…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 12:08 AM
0

Honestly women put more effort in the actual relationship (in general and on average) so I don’t think it’s that bad a deal for men, like yes you spend more initially and may spend more as you date various women but when you do settle down the roles are reversed and if people choose to settle down these days it’s for years if not life (life is the goal but shit happens) Besides even if men aren’t getting flowers bought for them don’t date people who don’t make you feel special - there are so man…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 11:09 PM
0

I’ve given my husband flowers twice (once just for him the second shared with our daughter) He doesn’t really care about getting them he told me after the first time which is why the second time years later was shared. What I do for him instead is chocolates, coke zeros or pastries randomly when I come home from doing errands or other things out of the house since I know he will appreciate those
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:06 PM
2

When my husband and I were dating one of the sweetest things he did was bring me a coffee and pastry before work to my house as we lived close by - he knew I was having a hard time So went out of his way to bring me a treat. I feel like while that specific gesture isn’t the expectation the listening to a potential partners concern and trying to show you are there is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:04 PM
2

I tried it once but when I said I I added I’ll take away the tv or toys and you can cry about that (Made sure it wasn’t a spanking threat) Felt weird saying so I don’t anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:53 PM
2

This still doesn’t equal because this person in the guys example wasn’t a significant other. By your own retelling it was someone he was getting lukewarm reciprocation from. 2-3 months is not a significant other. And still being used for your body is worse because you physically let that person INTO your body. Like I do agree that we all have it hard in some way but let’s not pretend that being used for your body is comparable to being used to these bad examples. Even being used for money is not…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:51 PM
2

This is bullshit sorry because planning a wedding does not compare. There is intimacy in a wedding. Even if the guy felt he was putting his heart into the actions the amount of “heart” you can put into a stranger is actually limited. Active listening should be a fucking baseline for all relationships and is not something to be applauded. And to compare it with allowing a person access to your body is ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:58 PM
1

Ok well at most gyms supersetting is acceptable behaviour
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:20 AM
1

Mmm no because it doesn’t matter the guys intentions or what he decides if he’s settling or not it only matters what other people think - this is a direct comparison to women being judged for a partners height. Man even as teens women start off caring until we see men’s negative opinions on what we do then we stop caring. Those opinions are everywhere. I’m 33 and I definitely cared when I was young but stopped by the time I was like 19
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:01 AM
1

Your example is wrong you went to Younger both times. If he was with a 20 year old then went to a 30 year old it would be viewed differently as if he realised he doesn’t have much in common with 10 year difference and grew up. Women did care btw probably about 20 years ago and before
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:43 PM
1

Because you said If she went for Jacob after Tom it would also be seen negatively. You are placing morality on height and making it so she can’t ‘win’ regardless of what she does. Tbh this is why women kind of stopped caring about what men think because ultimately we know regardless of what we do men are going to see us as doing the wrong thing if we aren’t doing exactly what they want us to do (which usually includes choosing them or treating sex like cookies that everyone can have indiscrimina…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:31 PM
2

So what are tall guys meant to do then just assume their shit don’t stink? Cause that’s wrong. Tall guys get dumped and passed over every day. I’m not denying being tall is an advantage but you also can’t just have any woman whose dated a tall guy regardless of context as proof of a negative world view (as we just co firmed before or after both are negative in your eyes) the only one you hurt in that instance is yourself. You need to find a less hypocritical way to judge it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:12 PM
1

Peak time it’s unacceptable and rude sure. You could have used it as a in though to socialise. Work around each other most people Are pretty chill with a conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:41 PM
1

To red pill men dating a tall guy is a sin because weather you do it before or after any other guy you are upgrading or downgrading. It’s all hypocrisy and just jealousy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:38 PM
1

She could have been supersetting. But I agree that if you go during a busy time it’s a bit rude, and if the equipment is not side by side maybe just do single sets.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:31 PM
23

What are you trying to debate?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 10:12 PM
1

There isn’t anything for women to Let go of in regards to dating. It’s men who are placing high demand on women and creating the imbalance not women. Most women aren’t into Casual relationships. Women are bu far more likely to Want a genuine relationship over casual and if they aren’t into their “options” then it isn’t a true option just like if men aren’t into their “options” then it isn’t a true option. Like I have the option of going to the store and buying liver and chicken feet but I wouldn…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 08:07 AM
1

Being a woman will always be easier because of the male sex drive but that doesn’t mean it needs to be impossible for men. For every woman who’s dating (especially the unattractive women) theres a man who she’s coupled up with ( and don’t kid yourselves that unattractive women frequently get relationships with attractive men). Those qualities I listed aren’t some impossible target, there are millions of men who can do those things and those men will have their pick of women, but I’ll note you ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 06:18 AM
2

I think both sides can’t fully understand the position of the other. Like men really underestimate what life would be like for an unattractive woman or the effort and cost required to be attractive woman especially if you are aiming reasonably high. Men also don’t really understand the safety concerns beyond logically understanding it ( as opposed to experiencing the concern first hand) I truly believe most men (lookswise) can do ok in dating but that it requires them to be social, ambitious, co…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:47 AM
2

I think the only reason that mindset would have perhaps been mainstream is if the woman’s income is akin to a side gig so think a few hundred a week vs a normal income of a couple thousand or so a week
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:26 AM
2

Yeah that’s crazy to me too. Me and my husband have a joint account where income goes and bills come from. Individual accounts we can send the same amount to For daily spending on discretionary items and big purchases are talked about between us. I’ll teach my son and daughter to only ever date women and men earning the same or close enough too that it doesn’t make a big difference and how to have healthy financial practices within a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 04:44 AM
3

In a marriage though all the money is their money not his money or her money. So if something is bought during marriage it’s bought with their money. At least that’s how healthy relationships work.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 04:14 AM
3

I don’t think women consider alimony tbh, barring the rare cases where your husband is some generational wealth or huge successful upstart - most high earning men though not really since alimony is so rare these days since most women work. Women consider men’s finances important because of the life together not a post divorce life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 03:54 AM
0

Shared finances mean if he’s responsible for child support with another kid then his Wife is surfacing from Loss of total financial position as a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 01:37 AM
0

It doesn’t matter because you said if a woman ends up pregnant and even though f there’s a chance the baby could have been not husbands because she cheated then it’s on her to disclose. Fraud has to involve willingly and purposeful deceit. The way you are wording it is that if a woman get pregnant and she had multiple Partners automatically she needs to disclose. That’s a double standard. Cheating in general is wrong but adding additional Punishments for women only is also wrong. So if you wanna…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 10:45 PM
5

Are men going to be charged with fraud if they have an affair ? The fact that they could have gotten someone pregnant is enough
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 08:13 PM
1

I think a financially successful man also benefits the relationship in general while you are in it whine 50/50 doesn’t impact anything but after divorce…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 07:59 PM
1

This. Millennial men are actually pretty great imo active dads, had our fun in the past, more confident and don’t mind helping around the house. Exceptions exist in all generations though on both sides
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:40 PM
1

Probably because not everyone reaches their potential. The f you go all in on potential (marriage) there’s a good chance you screw your self. You gotta love and select people for where they are not where they could be
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:32 PM
3

Actually there are male only scholarships. And that’s great. They typically tend to be in areas males are underrepresented like a lot of the female ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 11:28 PM
0

Nah millennial women knew what men were like but we also still love me and many of our partners are very active husbands and fathers
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:39 PM
3

A lot of those women only scholarships if you look are actually funded by women. Why don’t men put together some for men? Also women are currently working really hard to get ahead it’s not men falling behind it’s men not trying as much now that they are also competing with women. There are some systemic issues though holding some men back such as female bias in early schooling due to education. This also I’ll note was not changed for women - school was designed for boys/ what changed was corpora…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:26 PM
–

I think women do know expecting confident men is a pressure for men but it doesn’t really concern us because if a man can’t do it he’s not really what we are looking for (if you are one of the women who want that - and I recognise most probably do) the men who can’t meet it we don’t hate or anything just probably less attracted to. Men also have expectations for women and despite women’s push back on the fringe (hair arm outs, no shave, plus size positivity etc) in general men still prefer thin,…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 10:01 PM
–

Ok so there are no binary’s clearly it’s always a scale. I honestly don’t Get what you are trying to say or what your Point in all this is. You think Women are sexually more valuable ok I can agree with that because if reproduction. You have a problem with women wanting confident men? How does agreeing that women are the more sexually valuable improvement dating for men as per your title? I’m really struggling to grasp your point
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:09 PM
–

Wrong all types of sexual desires are NOT reasonable, we literally have laws protecting ting certain populations against others with explicitly and morally wrong sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:30 PM
2

Both true but also why people tend to end up on - try to be happy single because when you’ve done through the regular actionable advice but are met with more misery and complaining there’s nothing left to really say except that. And even if you think it’s not good advice because it’s not directly actionable, it is still good advice because happy people (even if not fully fulfilled or where they want to be in life) tend to attract more people in general (platonic, professional and romantic), as w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 11:07 PM
1

I see men being told all the time to widen social bets, join groups etc and they always push back they don’t need friends they need a gf. Some people don’t actually want help they want pity and a gf given to them
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 08:19 PM
3

It actually largely is societies fault for a lot of the obesity issues. Governments and companies are part of society and is what I’m meaning by society.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 08:13 PM
3

This is a lie men here claim that men hate being chosen for who they have become as well they accuse women of “waiting at the finish line”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:08 AM
3

Only if they accept the invitation. If they always say no then they wouldn’t be dating
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:16 AM
2

I mean if you are mid thirties and only just starting to think about being sexual with women but then decide you don’t really want to approach and date then are you really “dating”?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:59 PM
9

Feminist believe women can choose not that they need to walk away from gender roles- they should only do so if that’s their choice. Of course you should seek someone e who feels the same that’s how you have matching values. The key is that your partner is making that choice out of their free will and not lack of education/opportunities or “force” through familial expectations in certain communities
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 12:39 AM
–

For someone who values open communication it would definitely prompt an open discussion. For someone hiding or who is generally more private would be very easy to have said no nothing to talk about or no concerns. I’ve been on the receiving end of the latter so can imagine it going that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:07 PM
–

I agree but just so you know those examples were closed yes or no questions - the teacher in me can’t help it. Change the “is there/are there” to “what concerns / what should we talk about”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 10:02 PM
–

For most women it’s not going to feel that different 4-6 inches. People tell men with this insecurity use hand or mouth not because it’s to compensate as you implied in your post - it’s because the guy is obviously insecure, being great at sex and having the woman actually orgasm and think he’s a great lover is going to boost his esteem naturally. For women that happens when a guy gives orgasms generally with mouth or fingers since it’s easier for us to orgasm that way. We still enjoy penetratio…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:40 AM
3

The courts generally “ investigate “ who the actual primary carer is. You don’t just get to say it was yourself if it wasn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 06:22 AM
1

Yes this. Not only though but it’s hard for any person to leave their community I imagine would be extra hard when your community has been oppressed by the outside so trying to leave your community to do better for yourself would likely be met with hate from within as they would be like why do you want to be like them or are we not good enough so nothing changes. If you are stuck within your community your options for status seeking become limited especially in communities where there is a lot o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 01:14 AM
1

I could be way off base here but I think a lot of behaviour that red pill is complaining about and thus red pill beliefs are very closely tied to classism and capitalism. Black people in the USA still experience racism and due to past systemic racist policy’s they are still more likely to be lower ses it’s not surprising that you would notice more of these beliefs or behaviours in the community. Again I could be off base there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:50 AM
1

Is it USA black culture? I imagine that is also quite different to say African black culture
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:44 AM
1

Interesting! Which culture?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:40 AM
1

Yeah you had protective factors. Many of the guys who get into it don’t those are the ones I’m thinking less likely to grow out if it. I mean imagine if your o my sense of community was incel spaces would be really hard to leave that
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:36 AM
1

I’m glad you got out of those beliefs I hope most of the deeply men in it can also find their way out of it. I agree friends absolutely help it’s very common to see people suggesting build a social community because you are right it’s often lacking. I also know how hard it can be though once you get to a certain point to do things like make friends if you’ve never built that skill set before it’s harder as an adult out of university to break into new friend groups (not impossible) just harder if…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:31 AM
1

I agree therapy can absolutely help someone get out of it. It’s unfortunate how against therapy many men seem to be though. I also agree most people desire to be wanted but not sure how That relates to getting out of the ideology? I don’t think all incels deemed to stay mired in the ideology but for many I think they set up a negative loop of reinforcement which would keep them in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:22 AM
1

For many yes unfortunately. If you e ever looked at r/incelexit it you can see even the ones who step away from all the ideology it creeps back in in the form of lasting distrust. Once you let some of these beliefs rule you you would never be able To Fully trust which of course means you won’t ever experience a healthy relationship which means when in inevitably ends it will just reinforce the negative ideas. The lucky ones have protective factors like sisters, female friends, brothers who are “…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:16 AM
1

Or even an incel (make or female) which is just the more bitter and at times extreme end of a nice guy/ pick me
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:11 AM
1

I think the problem is when caring becomes your whole personality
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 12:08 AM
3

Assertive is not aggressive
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:30 PM
1

Lots of reasons: some to protect their land or way of life, some a sense of duty, sense of patriotism, don’t want to lose face, some might like guns and fighting etc
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:35 PM
1

They don’t have a choice their government didn’t let them leave. They are doing it to survive and/or not be in prison. Which is fair if I were them I would have wanted to leave as well and think the government is fucked for not letting them. If you don’t have enough volunteers then fuck it the invaders can win.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:16 PM
1

Because refusing to let people use your body is some awful thing. You would rather people set themselves on fire to keep the village warm. Of course men wouldn’t want help in reasonable ways which most women would actually agree to
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 09:41 AM
1

If this hypothetical were true then a lot of men would be meeting their maker a lot sooner than necessary. Women aren’t going to have ses with random men even if it potentially stopped them from this, healthy men who didn’t do this or men who women were attracted to would still get gfs and wives and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:15 AM
4

This exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 04:11 AM
1

I’m not short. Bye yeah exactly as I suspected you seem extremely bitter. I commented on good faith and you turned this whole thing into a woe is me rant.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:31 AM
1

Why is that sad? You would’ve unhappy if any man taller than you has a wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:54 AM
1

Husbands not bf. Preference isn’t hate. Words have meanings.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:53 AM
1

6 inches taller than me
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:32 AM
1

Or maybe if there is an abundance of applicants then they choose the one they prefer on paper rather than needing to interview all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:30 AM
1

It’s not like that at all. It’s like saying we prefer to hire candidates with phd or masters degrees but still hire candidates with bachelor degrees.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:17 AM
1

Most Aussie’s are tall. It’s harder to find a short man here than a tall one especially in my area which is predominantly Anglo Saxon Aussie.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:15 AM
1

Most Australian guys are tall.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:14 AM
0

I know 2 women (in wider friend group) whose husbands are only just as tall as them and thus are shorter than the other guys. Both have attractive wives. Women don’t hate short guys even the ones who prefer taller guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:35 AM
0

Women aren’t a monolith just like not all men are. Stop the self hate find some self respect and others will too. Self respect is evident in people. Not all women will be attracted to short men and not all Women are going to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:18 AM
1

Rather than wealth and status I would reccomend trying to make her laugh instead and try to build a good rapport during an assignment. Create a study group or something and invite more than just her obviously and then try to hang out a few times
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:40 AM
3

You need more than proximity
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 03:55 AM
2

Right. I hope no one answers lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:45 PM
7

It can be really annoying to have a person always bring their partner as the conversations have to change to not be as personal. It’s ok to bring partners sometimes but most men and women also enjoy just having times with their friends. It’s ok to not bring your partner to places like bars where people Go To drink and usually talk deeply because of alcahol. Girls night and boys night should Both be allowed. If you aren’t trusting your partner you probably shouldn’t be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 09:54 PM
3

Lab grown is perfect. Can get a good size, colour cut and clarity without breaking bank. They are real diamonds. Also don’t get a dainty hand with big tock they don’t hold up get a thick enough band, and round diamond are classic never go out, get 6 claws for security.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 05:46 AM
1

I just don’t think that’s a defining trait between mentally healthy and toxic. I agree you should feel desired by your partners
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 12:56 AM
22

I disagree however if you guys truly believe this than how can you blame women for not Liking men cold approaching them anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:20 PM
–

What unbelievable is some Men including you are defending the idea that women could hit themselves in the head with a report repeatedly dying how stupid they are and that men would just accept this and not lose attraction after this type of meltdown. You do you I guess. Wanting emotionally mature Partners who can express emotions in healthy normal ways such as Conversation, working in a hobby, doing a project, intentional meditation or relaxation etc. is ok
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:18 PM
0

I mean mentally healthy women do this too though those signs of affections should not mean / be read as love if it’s very early just desire attraction and comfort as you correctly identified desire
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:12 PM
1

Good points though I don’t think it’s race in reality I think it’s likely something to do with beliefs as you’ve laid out but also more with the way governments are run (infrastructure and how officials are kept in balance) and also largely with wealth of the general population and country. Like Nordic countries are obviously very different from USA Canada Australia but would all be first world and thus considered “western” in the context I used.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:11 PM
1

I was thinking more second world rather than third.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 09:23 AM
4

It’s could be boldness. The word charm unfortunately means lots of things and can be different for everyone which isn’t that helpful for you. Generally it’s socially aware and able to make people feel special and seen - which varies for people. What did your abusive ex do to attract you that a mentally healthy woman wouldn’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 09:11 AM
1

The outlier thing I meant the hospital policy is but now that you say it’s Latin America I don’t really know. It’s not really a first world country then is it at least not a western one. Dads are encouraged here to be in room so now that it’s a different culture I don’t actually know what normal or not there.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 09:08 AM
4

The answer is outlined above though it’s not a mystery that abusers seek a very specific type of woman. Those women would also be available to you if you can learn to be charming and attractive enough as well just like the abusers are. The reality is these relationships are still a minority. Most people - men too - have experienced some kind of abusive relationship and most people recognise this and can leave and learn to Look for healthier partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 08:30 AM
2

Again I’m sorry for your experience but that was an outlier experience. Most places in first world countries encourage dads be in during the birth because they do matter. It’s important for mum bub and dad for them to be there. Babies need skin to skin from both mom and dad, and moms need help after birth. Perhaps you can report the hospital in general for its policy on dads. You should see if it’s changed from 22.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 07:42 AM
3

Yes my newborn had “baby of xxx” on anklets on both legs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:47 AM
3

A lot of that was COVID procedure though- I also gave birth in 22 here in Australia and unfortunately that was the procedure and it made sense even though it was unfortunate. My husband was allowed with me though in birthing suite and to stay overnight. No other visitors though. If you have evidence such as a report or disclosure you should make a report so that doctor can’t do it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:46 AM
2

22 would be covid. How did you guys find out about this dr? Was he fired? Not your fault at all so do t take this next cim e t as blaming you because you should never have to be on gaurd for this crap but the reality is with birth being such a vulnerable and potentially deadly event for a woman researching hospitals and their policies on dads/visitors/ birth plans etc. is extremely important. Hospital visits to the maternity ward are generally encouraged for pregnant women as well. Just somethin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:14 AM
6

Honestly sounds like your wife doesn’t know how genetics work. I’m sorry she suffered violence what was it an episiotomy without consent? Also why weren’t you allowed there? Was it COVID? Even then doesn’t seem right.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 05:54 AM
5

That’s not common. You are highly attuned to your baby and its whereabouts after birth even after excruciating a prolonged labour. Exception being emergency c sections requiring GA. Or other emergency requiring surgery.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 05:41 AM
7

They don’t remove mum from baby unless baby going to Nicu or mom Icu
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 05:29 AM
3

Maybe because not everyone is dating abusive guys and it’s not the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 03:18 AM
1

Men intentionally misunderstand women. I’m assuming the “denying” that looks matter comes from the typical response of “I think personality is way more important than looks” or so e variation of this, if you understand how English works however you would Ngl that personality is obviously the most important thing but no where is she saying looks are not important just not the number 1 thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:17 PM
3

You’re saying this to the wrong woman. My husband deals with chronic depression and I give him so much support to the detriment of my own needs at times and still find him sexy: you completely misunderstood my comment if that’s what you took away from it. You can face anything and show emotion as long as you are facing it and not acting in the way I described in my original comment hitting self in head, other examples would be punching walls, constant self hate talk or a lack of willingness to f…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:45 PM
-1

Resilience yes stoicism no. You can be emotional and resilient
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 07:56 AM
8

I should have clarified… healthy emotionally mature men wouldn’t accept that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 11:10 PM
5

I Agree but cautious doesn’t mean avoid and cross off ever doing it again. That’s why majority of women aren’t swearing off men after a bad experience with men despite 1/3 having direct experience with some kind of sexual harassment. Men should absolutely be cautious being vulnerable but I mean most of us are cautious with that anyway so that’s applicable to everyone, we usually open up to people we trust rather than every acquaintance we meet. Again it’s largely a skill issue or a lack of under…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:55 PM
5

Yeah this is true. That’s what makes a mature person. We all have to face things that make us deal with u pleasant emotions, fear, anger, sadness, loss, embarrassment etc but how you face it says a lot About you and if you always run from Problems or handle them in the worst way how can you be trusted to be there when your partner needs you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:44 PM
10

Define break down pretty bad. If it was just crying then it was pretty shit if her to not comfort you and ask questions to better understand and connect with you. Not everyone is going to Be emotionally mature. That’s true for both men and women. Saying no woman accepts emotional vulnerability because of a bad actor you have experience with is exactly like when women say crap like “all men”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:36 PM
5

I gave a single example of an appropriate way there are many. If a woman acted the way I outlived in the inappropriate way men would also fund that deeply unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:34 PM
18

Honestly it depends on how you express your vulnerability. For example if you suddenly break down crying while hitting yourself in the head repeatedly with a remote saying “stupid, stupid, stupid, I’m a worthless crybaby” or something else akin to a deeply unattractive meltdown they yeah probably going to lose attraction. If you shed some tears and confide how stressed or sad or hurt you are over a specific situation but continue to try your best then that’s going to be received well with hugs a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 10:07 PM
0

We dont. We are against it when the bro can’t go peacefully without complaining about “western women” and when they go over there and treat the women poorly because they are buying their fantasy chad life. If you wanna go overseas do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 09:59 AM
0

Because visibly healthy women are above average since most of USA is overweight. If you aren’t in USA it may fair better. The amount of women happy with mediocre lives is diminishing though when we can provide a better than mediocre existence for ourselves anyway through education. Realistically people who mostly have their stuff together want better than average otherwise their stuff wouldn’t be together.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 01:26 AM
0

I think the man is going to have a hard time finding that because most women don’t want to be mediocre and want more. Not saying they don’t exist but they aren’t going to be out there promoting themselves they aren’t the thirst traps that men gravitate towards. They are the overweight introverted, potentially disabled or neurodivergent, single mothers, poorly educated, minimum wage career woman. Men can find these women but reality is most men want an above average women (thin, cute face, contri…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:00 AM
1

I’m assuming you made the same type of typo as me earlier one of those being women - it’s the phones that usually autocorrect when you type fast darn things. Anyway yes I agree poor uneducated men can do worse than poor uneducated women in some ways - but not in all ways and that’s why we need the nuance for these types of conversations. On the street, Who do you think is going to face more sexual or physical violence (assuming both minding their own business?) For non homeless who could clean u…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:48 PM
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Men do need to be competent. But so do women. Men here think women have such easy lives because they are looking at their peers young Gen Z - millennial women. They don’t realise that those women need to be competent too in different ways otherwise we end up single mothers and homeless in our senior years. Women relying on men with no backup plan such as a career or education overwhelmingly leads to that. Women know this it’s why we work so damn hard in education or jobs and vet for men who are …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:39 PM
1

Delusional. Homeless women are on the streets and middle aged and older on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:33 PM
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Correct about women choosing. That’s the point we all have choices. Men can choose to be the competent man or they can choose and average life with an average woman (havea look at what a real average woman is: she’s very overweight, 30 and working minimum wage with likely no savings) or they can choose themselves and their friends or they can enjoy being a Neet. We all have choices. Those women who chose still had to work to make their choices a reality: I’m one of those college educated married…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:32 PM
1

True if you can buy another humans loyalty and love you have to be above average compared to that person. Average and below average women aren’t leading lives they like. Delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:27 PM
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I agree with this. The problem is when you talk about your problems pointing to other groups and saying “but they have it better” without actually having a nuanced take is going to make people not want to help you because you look like a petulant kid with their hand out because they saw some other kid get a piece of bubble gum without ever asking or thinking why did that kid get the bubblegum or do I even need the bubblegum or have I got a way to also earn a piece of bubblegum. Im all for making…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:25 PM
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Men don’t exist in a vacuum. Men are made from children.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:20 PM
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Incorrect. Most of those homeless women are leading far poorer lives than you as an average man. Your wife is 1/1000000
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:19 PM
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So agreeing with one tenet makes someone redpill? No. I don’t believe women’s value is inherent. I don’t believe you have to be hot to be successful or competent as a man. And I don’t believe in any of the hate red pill has for other people due to their sexlessness particularly women. Really pills are stupid, all view points have some merit hence the purple flair I have to participate here. Reality is life requires nuance it’s not black and white or red or blue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:18 PM
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Irrelevant. The point is you being an average man is better than being a below average woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:14 PM
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Want to elaborate why?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:13 PM
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You are very narrow sighted if you think men don’t also benefit from safety nets. All those children being raised by mothers using social safety nets do you think none of those children are boys? Those boys become men. Hell here in Australia our prime minister was raised by a single Mum in social housing. Without that net he wouldn’t have gotten to where he is. Safety nets help all of society which includes men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:13 PM
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Nope
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:09 PM
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Grass is always greener. Pretty sad for all the people who wish they could be something they aren’t. Water your grass and improve your lot. You did so buy essentially buying a wife, how many more extremely overhead homeless women will get that same “opportunity”? Very few. So you being an average man boded far better than what most of the below average women will experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:09 PM
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Things won’t be ‘fair’ regardless. Women deal with biological disadvantages that cause a lot of the social safety nets op is complaining about - women get pregnant and are usually the parent who bears the brunt for f child rearing so when single they have a harder time to put food on table for the kids- ergo the social safety nets seeing as society doesn’t want starving children. Barring the above, average men can also do a lot better than average women if they actually are putting effort in. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:06 PM
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Would you rather be an average woman or a competent man? People act like we don’t get to massively Influence our lives with our choices we make each day. Barring disability (mental and physical) and extreme poverty, we have a lot of choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:01 PM
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You are right I mean women for one of them edited
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:58 PM
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Yes thanks I’ll edit
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:58 PM
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Competent and capable men usually do far better than capable and competent women. How about you strive to be that kind of man rather than an average woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 10:51 PM
4

The first hair of your comment also applies to women saying - we don’t date or have sex as punishments and rewards yet that’s how men think of it
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:51 PM
15

That’s was make fantasy and pretty ridiculous tbh any emotion men can feel so can women even if we express them differently
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:31 PM
1

I see a lot of this crap in schools unfortunately it’s definitely growing among young men here. Even year 7 boys here can be pretty bad. But it’s pretty bad in years 8-10 currently. I think America culture wars are coming here and honestly the cost of housing, poor educational aspirations by youth, lack of ambition social media and the overall sentiment towards immigration aren’t help.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:13 AM
0

Honestly I wouldn’t know how to specifically do that. I believe in feminist causes but just generally go through life trying to be kind to those around me and trying to be smart about savings, investments, future goals etc. If raising my kids feminist is just teaching them to respect all people, to instil a good work ethic both domestically and at work then that’s what I’ll be doing for both. Have you got any specific examples of how kids should be raised feminist (because I will raise both kids…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 06:20 AM
5

That’s not 50/50 then and also why their relationships fail. I’m So lucky my partner genuinely helps. He also makes more than me by about 45% Really we both give 100% it’s all one big pot, and we both do what we can when we can it’s a shame most men aren’t like that
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 03:35 AM
7

Girl if he was 50/50 you Wouldn’t be cleaning after him.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 03:24 AM
7

Thank you for your reply. I’m in Australia so my reply is based on that context. We actually have home ec and workshop classes here in our high schools. I’m a teacher who actually teaches home ec. We have a lot of the same issues here as in usa so while I don’t think it’s a solution I think it is an important thing to have regardless as kids need skill based learning, and life skills regardless of their dating life. The government subsidised dating events I don’t see how it would actually work o…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:56 AM
10

No I’m actually very open to hearing solutions. The only one making it zero sum game is you if you can’t actually provide solutions that don’t hurt others. Edit: I have a son and a daughter I won’t both to grow up safe and happy. So I am genuinely open to hear solutions.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:19 AM
8

I mean have you got some suggestions that don’t hurt other people autonomy or rights or that don’t hurt other people (such as removing welfare for women and children) There always seems to be a lack of suggestions for this. I’m all for men’s spaces and there are a few of these such as men’s sheds.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:10 AM
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This whole sub is based on emotional and insecure men who think they are logical
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:52 PM
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That men are far more emotional and illogical than they think
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:51 PM
5

Probably because younger than that are less likely to be married. I’m sure all the 20 year olds will cook for their husbands one day too except it won’t be framed like that. Really we (women) just cook for the family and cook things we like. I cook every night for my family it’s not because I’m concerned about putting a home cooked meal out for my husband it’s because it’s healthier and tastier and cheaper than always buying out so I cook for us since I finish earlier and enjoy cooking more.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:43 PM
-1

This I agree with. What I don’t agree with though is that most women would accept an emotionally intelligent man who picks up the slack at home who doesn’t earn ‘enough’ that enough would vary though depending on the woman’s socioeconomic situation. Love and partnership are amazing but it also doesn’t pay the bills and for people of low-average SES those bills also need to be a priority . Financial issues the number one cause for break down in relationships. No one wants to be on struggle street…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:36 PM
-1

Depending on how much you and your coworkers earn though would mean you are all outliers. I agree that if you earn enough then a man’s income likely less important but for most women who likely have average wages they would be more interested in men with higher than their incomes- this would of course vary depending on class, industry and individual preference. For example, a HVAC worker making 80k would look far more impressive to a beauty industry worker making 40k than a nurse making 75k (num…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 08:15 PM
3

Yep him accidentally and disproportionally hurting her is the play stupid games and win stupid prizes. It’s not going to be “reasonable” defence to any judge if you accidentally kill a woman or break her jaw because she was shouting at you or even if she slaps you. Why didn’t you walk away, why didn’t you block her hits or worst case try to restrain her, why didn’t you choose to punch her that’s not self defence at that point. Unless she has some kind of weapon and is attacking you and you can n…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 07:30 PM
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It looks way better than balding on nearly every man
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 09:28 AM
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I love the glow ups on r/bald.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 07:29 AM
9

Because if you are fully cognisant and think you will be protected you are playing stupid games - and are pretty crazy. It only takes one time to actually be hit and for something to go wrong such as falling and hitting head on curb. In your example if you are a man fighting another man you’re also in the wrong: again it takes one thing to go wrong. It also takes two to escalate into a fight. We are meant to learn in school you don’t fight bully’s as a first action - you walk away it’s just not …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 02:54 AM
13

Probably because they are toxic and manipulating the situation. If the man doesn’t hit her she ‘wins’ by having been violent to him either verbally or physically, and if she does goad him to attacking her back physically the she ‘wins’ because he can be charged for that. Edit to add: I doubt these women have enough self awareness to realise this though. Crazy just be doing crazy. It’s a big game of “play stupid games win stupid prizes” men shouldn’t be goaded into this game because there are no …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:44 AM
1

A man being raped would leave a very different trauma unless he was penetrated - then it would be the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:16 PM
2

There’s several threads on that topic already I invite you to read. I even commented on some. Cliff notes though: homophobia is about discrimination or finding them “wrong” gross or the belief that at the very least they should be separate in society. Not dating someone for a preferred characteristic is not discrimination. Not dating is not the same as denying rights or being treated unfairly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 02:10 AM
2

If a man want to touch a dick and have gay sex that’s fine. He probably shouldn’t be spreading hate to out gay men though. It’s also not homophobia for straight women to want to date straight men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:28 AM
2

Those may be your views but they aren’t mine. The funny part is claiming to hate something and that it’s evil and a sin when you do that exact thing. Their self hatred is the joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:13 AM
2

Hey good job you ended it with a g this time. The funny part is not that they’re gay. I don’t think I have time to explain humour to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:41 AM
1

I think it’s certainly an explanation for the data. It might not be the entire truth as most these topics are nuanced but there is data and it’s a pretty good theory. I looked it up because of our conversation just now, adding to the higher population of gay or closeted gay men who go to the conventions using the app are also political activists using the app to try find prominent figures or republicans likely with gay hating views using the app to “out” them. So I’m sure there is some nuance ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:40 AM
1

lol your response is typical. Why is the truth making you so angry? Hypocrisy is funny when the people most angry about gay people seem to Be the very thing they claim ti hate. It’s sad really all that outward hatred is really self hatred. This anecdote has actually been proven with data points but it’s ok if you Don’t want to accept that As I clarified in my comment - not all conservatives are republicans but go off I guess, apparently highlighting a high amount of gay sexual activity amongst r…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:34 AM
6

Actually makes a lot of sense. In the democratic population you have an average amount of gay people and thus using the app so in a convention you have typically average use but slightly up since there’s a little bit more people in the area as people Generally travel for conventions. In the republican population you would have to have a highly above average amount of gay people in the population so when brought together use spikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:25 AM
1

Nope but it doesn’t matter what it does when dnc is in town because democrats largely support gay people so them being gay even if closeted wouldn’t be hypocritical whereas on average most republicans think gay people are sinful and shouldn’t have rights since most republicans are supposed evangelical. Not all conservatives are republicans btw but republicans are the supposed devout “Christian values” ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:07 AM
1

Any disadvantage men have in the beginning is also negated by their physical safety not being at risk like women’s. So yes it’s justified. Until men start carrying the slack within the relationship and also men stop physically assaulting women then maybe women will reassess and reduce the perceived “burden” of that initial asking and paying. It’s all related.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:09 PM
1

Ok and I think it’s justified because of the imbalances that occur after. Equaling it out would do nothing for women because our short end of the stick would just keep getting shorter. Regardless if you think the phases are different they are connected so women will always consider the next phase as relevant to the first phase. That’s usually how things work. Like in chess you’re not going to have a good chance of winning if your initial set up is a a weak one. If I knew sports I would use a spo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 10:33 PM
1

What is RNC? Sorry I don’t know the acronym. If it’s republican national conference or something I believe it haha
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:57 PM
1

We are not going to agree on this and we’re going in circles at this point. I keep relating them because they are intwined regardless of which men make it to the next stages or not. Also as a side not I’d rather be rejected before sex than after sex and I dare say most women would as wells men disagreeing is just another difference due to our differences.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 09:56 PM
1

I didn’t think I need to explain women’s risk from dating. Women can experience violence, sexual assault, pregnancy, sti (more susceptible then men too), being stalked, being used for sex through someone lying about intention. Because of this women like to go Slower than men sexually (usually), like the man to signal that he’s “safe” and things like him paying can signal gentleman behaviour which can signal safety, him suggesting dates also tells you information about him too, such as potentiall…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:29 PM
5

Your choosing to view women’s offer of friendship as them making you a pet It suggests you don’t really want friends and it seems to be you who doesn’t want to be social
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:08 PM
8

Grinder shuts down from too much concentrated activity whenever a maga rally happens
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:05 PM
1

Women take more risks with dating in general so no I’m sorry I don’t accept risk takes on your list. The only thing men may do is initiate and pay everything else is equal regardless of you think it or now. The fact that some men don’t make it past the first date making his overall experience unequal is not down to individual women to change. I still don’t think the “imbalance” is actually imbalanced because it does equal out in relationships otherwise we could be here arguing that women put mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:06 AM
1

But women do most of that too (carry conversation, planning, and putting self out there) the only real imbalance is asking and paying for the first date (asking) and sometime the couple of following dates (paying) but not always since many women treat the second or split. Regardless if each man or not makes it to the subsequent dates or phases for the woman in her eyes eventually the guy she does end up in the relationship with it is equal as I’ve already explained. It’s not her fault if a date …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:42 AM
1

I think my real gripe with the original op is the premise that men are fking more “work” during courtship. I don’t think asking someone out is “work” or having been the one to do so makes it unequal. The woman also needs to work to be found attractive and pass the man’s bar. And if he’s paying she needs to work to be engaging enough that he feels it’s worth it. And those initial dates where men feel it’s unbalanced also don’t last a long time about 3 dates or so and can be as cheap as the man wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:57 AM
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Fingers crossed you: learn to count Have a nice life with the normalised sex doll
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:54 PM
1

This. They also are generally insecure and if they don’t do the work usually in therapy that insecurity doesn’t go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:36 PM
1

Early stages of dating are riskier for women so I don’t think it’s going to change and women have zero reason to. Why should we make it easier for men when the risk we face is generally greater? So it does matter to women that men are hornier because that translates into more risk for us which to us does justify men having to ask, and perhaps suggest a date and for many women pay for the first date if he wants to be taken seriously (exceptions exists for paying of course such as young people bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:42 PM
1

If we do assume it’s true and I do even in working couples because women generally work and do most the household duties and kid duties but regardless let’s go with the assumption, if it’s true why would women be ok with an equal courtship phase (which is truly pretty short in most cases) if they are going to be putting in more later? Women want to know they can rely on their man and it’s not much expecting a man to show he can take initiative early on. And really courtship phase lasts a few dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 09:40 PM
3

In the actual relationship women work far harder on average especially with kids so it’s fair fir the man to put a bit of effort in the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:27 AM
1

You don’t need to be hotter than an insta baddie you need to be better to be around and attractive enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:16 PM
–

Wrong without it you just gonna have to compensate in a lot of other ways. Just like women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 10:01 AM
–

It is less important when looking for relationships it’s just not unimportant.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:46 AM
7

The goal for most people though is long term partnerships. Good natured men are also preferred for casual sex if they are also attractive: given the choice most women going to choose the attractive good guy over an attractive asshole for a hookup. The gripe must really be that they aren’t attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:12 AM
2

Actually if your 4’11 you can legally get a disability placard
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:04 AM
1

How?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:02 AM
7

Reduce faminancial inequality and raise everyone’s standard of living would be one way. All this is really just a symptom of classism more than gender war.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:43 AM
14

We don’t desire “men” in a “ raw visceral” way. We only feel like that for our specific man.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 01:17 AM
1

People reject people for being normal all the time. All the characteristics I listed before are normal. Single parent, kid free, fat, thin, religious, atheist, Jewish, Catholic, insert whichever racial background, these are all examples of normal people who experience rejection for these things because the other person is wanting someone like them (so not one of the above). While more normal acceptance of any sexuality or gender identity is great it’s not going to change rejection rates to a lar…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:23 AM
2

I disagree women get called out for lots of things. The term home wrecker isn’t a new one. Look at the semi recent cheating ceo /marketing or hr lady scandal pretty sure it’s just the woman who can’t find a job now.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:07 AM
1

I wasn’t bi so I was never part of an oppressed group beyond ‘woman’. Those religious bigots aren’t going to change their minds instead of trying to change their minds it’s far begged to just promote education and kindness because those are two domains that pretty much stop people going down the religious bigot route anyway. You are making wild leaps. Not dating people is not looking down at others. It hurts your position to claim this because you come off as fanatic and become easy to write off…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:56 AM
1

The same people who would think I’m a sick deviant for having experimented would be the same people openly hating on bi or trans or any ‘other’ community. I’m in Australia bi people aren’t hated here. I wouldn’t date a trans person either and I don’t have on trans people. It’s not ill conceived notions that would stop me from dating a Bi or trans person. People can want to date someone similar to them. Straight. Monogamous or polygamous, cis heterosexual, bi, trans, religious or atheist, single …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:44 AM
1

Women aren’t boasting that bi men aren’t dateable in calling bs. Women were hated on in daily culture for promiscuity as an already gave examples. Bi men aren’t hated on like that any claim they are is disingenuous - the only time women actually clarify they wouldn’t be into dating men is when asked on sites like this and even then it’s done largely with respect without the name calling women experienced. Men can absolutely fight against gender norms and really they already have no one bats an e…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:22 AM
1

I don’t think there is as much a double standard as you are implying. It’s not impacting men in any area outside dating and dating is inherently discriminatory. Bi and gay men aren’t looked over for promotions or for being hired. Society generally accepts gay people (I say generally because there are always pockets of religious bigots). Women not wanting to date bi men is valid. Some women will Some won’t. Just like some men will date single mothers and some won’t. Some will date fat women some …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:59 PM
1

The promiscuity double standard impacted women though in a large way. The social judgement, the victim blaming when assaulted or raped, the casual objectification and depersonification women experienced in all realms of life depending on things like what you wear, how big your breasts are or your natural shape even if modestly covered, all promotions double guessed when in highly paid roles - she must have fucked the boss comments. This does not impact men. In fact I would go further to say that…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:44 PM
2

I wouldn’t date a properly bi man but if I guy had explored his own sexuality by making out with a guy in his youth I wouldn’t care. Hell even a bj given or received under the influence wouldn’t really bother me as long as the conclusion was that he was straight and wouldn’t want to do it again. If that’s seriously his gripe though there are better things to be upset about when it comes to double standards. Things like education standards impacting boys, boys and men being unable to fully expres…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 11:29 PM
1

I’m inferring that being told like your dad was a bad thing in this instance like an insult. Sounds like your parents did you a disservice I’m sorry. Hopefully you’ve found positive role models and have learned to be self sufficient since.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:51 PM
2

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I think it’s reality and the whole post is disingenuous- I don’t think you or any other married/ partnered people are disingenuous. I’m married too and wouldn’t divorce my husband just because I could.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 08:25 AM
2

It’s nice meh don’t need to worry about safety. Most women have personally felt unsafe around men from some kind of physical or sexual advance or assault and that shapes our actions as well. If you are bringing a toy to a hookup the man isn’t adding that much. I’m speaking from experience I actually was probably more risk taking than a lot of women. A toy doesn’t automatically turn a bad sexual encounter into a good one. Again at that point it’s just easier to not have to have the man there and …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:10 AM
4

Social judgement and safety is absolutely still a thing in 2026. Responses like this is exactly why women know men aren’t safe. Would you like links to stories of women being murdered from tinder dates? How about date rape drugs when out? If women need to use a vibrator anyway many will choose to just do it ourselves without risking std, physical safety, pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:01 AM
5

Lots of reasons lack of orgasms being one, safety being another, social judgement, lack of finding suitable attractive partners for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 06:00 AM
6

It’s not a loss. You are happy you grew and moved on. Meeting the right person and that specific time might not have worked - right person wrong time. If me and my husband met when we were about 8 years younger we wouldn’t have worked. We both would have been too into partying and our school for anything serious
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:03 AM
4

Yes absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 04:58 AM
8

This except he is still an option - leaving is an option even if not a good one or one you would take and that’s good because it means your are there because you are committed and in love not because you have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:39 AM
10

Every person in a relationship is an option. You are not forced to stay with someone or to be with someone to begin with therefore they will always be an option. Do you expect women and men to pair up and never be allowed to grow apart, mature or want different things? Usually the person someone is at 18 is completely different to the person they are at 25 and 55 and so if you look at the different partners they had at those respective ages it can sometimes be completely different people for man…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 03:23 AM
3

I didn’t get horny from kissing girls. Reading comprehension is lacking.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:20 AM
2

I think they have never had to think about it. They’re attracted to women and women are safe. Women being attracted to men doesn’t make the men safe. You aren’t getting it and that ok. No I’m comfortable in my sexuality I don’t think kissing someone of the same gender makes you bisexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:39 PM
–

I’m in high COL area too it suck’s going to store and seeing everything skyrocket. I got the long life warm home brand juice because when I went to look at cost of orange juice even the concentrate stuff was $7 cold. The good stuff was $9.50 no thank you I’ll just eat a damn orange.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:54 PM
2

I didn’t say I always chose to kiss women in those conditions. I kissed men too. But in some situations I looked at the options and chose my friend. I rationalise everything in my life man it’s literally how I survive and see the world. I’m very practical, and will rationalise before making big important decisions, and after every big, scary, sad or whatever strong emotional moment in my life. And like I said to that user - of course men will never choose men even their friends. Straight guys se…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:32 PM
–

Are you buying organic? That would be even more blatant robbery. Shits me every time I go in for a couple things it’s never $10 like it should be it’s always 30-50. This made dinner and all that is left is the bananas, most the potatoes and the juice. So dinner was about $20 so $6.50 a serve (if you don’t add cost of spices and Oliver oil which I didn’t but probably adds at least another dollar), it’s all just very expensive even cooking at home
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:26 PM
–

1 kg
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:22 PM
1

I disagree. I used to like doing drugs and partying and some of those drugs make you horny. What I said about Ken being unsafe compared to a girl friend men will just never understand because they aren’t nearly as in danger of being physically assaulted or raped especially when a woman is horny or consenting to a point. Being young and having kissed someone of the same gender does not put you on a bisexual scale and I agree it is a spectrum. Being older now, I feel safer to defend myself so even…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:21 PM
2

Sure the dynamic there would be completely different and I wouldn’t know anything about it. In the west though when men actually show up to court to fight they often get much better than they expect. And even if they don’t the kid sees the dad fighting and that’s what means the world too: my dad lost in court, not overninitial custody but over where we could live but he fought for me which made him my hero in my eyes at the time and got good enough visitation rights that it ended up being too ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:17 PM
1

I was just wondering though if there was specific abuse more likely to be experienced by sons
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:52 AM
2

Do you think mothers who do this would only do it to their sons? Wouldn’t these abuses be done in general to their kids vs gender specific abuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:40 AM
–

Man grocery store prices insane rn 2 chicken breast bottle of home brand breakfast juice (warm long shelf life one) 2 zucchini packet 3 sweet corn bag potatoes single serve 600ml Coke Zero 3 bananas $31
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:26 AM
2

Many men have poor hygiene that’s just an unfortunately fact. I added the hygiene qiip In there more as a true joke anyway. The safety issues is the real one. You might not get it but women and men are different, we don’t need to be sexually attracted to women to feel safer kissing them as young women when stakes are higher. That’s just how It is for many of us. And as I already pointed out it’s generally a young woman thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 05:29 AM
1

Yes that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:21 AM
3

Hygiene wise a lot of men are gross and men also know this. Man men have questionable oral habits, underwear habits, showering habits, and lack of deodorant. I agree men aren’t inherently gross. I specified hygiene. I’m absolutely trusting all my friends hygiene far above some random men even if I’m past a stage in my life where I would kiss a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:16 AM
7

Probably cause guys know how gross other guys are - hygiene wise here. Your also wired to see men (even your “homies”) as competition and threats whereas women generally see other women as non threatening and safe
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:12 AM
6

That’s true but personally I would t have wanted it to go further. I tried a threesome with an ex and learned pretty quickly I didn’t like another woman’s genitals lol. But for kissing your eyes are closed, our lips are soft, and it can feel safer for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:04 AM
7

Because you have a safe option - women. Women don’t have that option to the same degree especially young women. Adult women less likely to kiss friends because we already have experience with staying safe and aren’t going g to be as easily influenced by substances - plus we likely also already have bfs or husbands. Young women find women safer than random men u til you guys can fix that probs won’t change.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:03 AM
7

I guess you never partied as a young adult. Being drunk or on other substances can make you feel really horny or at the very least uninhibited and close to those around you. Making out feels good and your eyes are closed anyway. So add that to being drunk and or on something else and occasionally making out with a safe friend seems natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:53 AM
4

I could have but as explained I was far less trusting of men. There’s good reason not to trust men especially in those early years. They don’t like stopping or being told no. They respect boundaries far less than your girlfriends. I had many male friends show this to me. I had many random men also show this to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:41 AM
14

I’m one of those women you’re complaining about. I kissed a few of my girl friends as a teen when drunk (never sober). It felt safer than making out with random men because you know it’s gonna stop at kissing but with men they will want more and might not accept just kissing. As a teen I didn’t want more so I stopped there. I identify as 100% straight I wouldn’t choose to date a woman, wouldn’t have sex with one. If I’m ever single one day because my husband dies then I would not date women. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:22 AM
2

Did he actually go to court? A lot of men assume courts are biased so they don’t even fight for custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 01:14 AM
3

That’s horrid I’m sorry you were a victim of a continued cycle of abuse. Hopefully you are the one to break the cycle. I wish your dad could have taken you with him no kid should be left with an abuser regardless if they are currently abusing the child or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:47 AM
4

Damn did your parents even try? Do you know if they were abused first? Or if they wanted to be parents? are you close with them now? Did the abuse start at a certain age or was it always present? If it’s too personal don’t worry about answering. I have two kids I just can’t imagine abusing them like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:46 PM
7

Bad parents suck. What in your opinion is the most common way parents abuse their sons? Not looking for physical abuse as an answer because that’s an obvious one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 10:34 PM
16

That’s actually hilarious
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 12:35 AM
4

For real!! Who wants to be on struggle street? 2 good incomes needed these days
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 11:29 AM
8

That’s just being smart man. Men are the idiots for accepting broke partners. This isn’t gendered. If I were a lesbian I would expect her to have a good income too
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 09:28 AM
4

Maybe if you are on the outside looking in. Ask anyone who’s dated someone attractive previously if they still find them attractive. Usually the answer is no because they were turned off my personality. Barring breakups for reasons like needing to move away or incomparable views.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 02:33 AM
2

In the first instance You are describing halo effect and that doesn’t last very long. Especially if it becomes a relationship. For casual sex / hookups it matters less though. In the second instance liking personality does lead to physical attraction in many cases - not all and there are also contingencies such as you couldn’t be hideous to her more neutral and she genuinely enjoys being around you and isn’t with someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 02:16 AM
31

No no no silly blue pill don’t you know men are powerless and can only take what they get and have no choice in the matter since any living breathing human female is better than being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 11:33 PM
5

This is just so blatantly wrong and honestly there isn’t much a difference between those two statements. The more a woman likes a man’s personality the more she is going to Love every part of him. The less she likes his personality the more she will be disgusted by him - that’s why “hot” guys can become extremely ugly to women if they dislike their personality. If I disliked a guys personality his dick would become disgusting to even think about especially if he was physically unattractive to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 10:38 PM
7

What you wrote went beyond sexual attraction. Women want to be sexually attracted to our partners. You want someone to only value you for a body part. You don’t see how fucked up that is? You even said the ultimate expression would be someone who hates your guts but loves your dick so much it doesn’t matter. You think the more someone likes your personality the less they like your dick. That honestly warrants therapy. Honestly at that point most women would choose a dildo. What would happen if y…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 10:17 PM
13

This gave me the absolute ick
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 10:04 PM
2

I have 2 kids you have 0 idea of what you’re on about. It’s absolutely a 24 hour job especially when they are young. I have a 4 year old and a newborn. Even when the 4 year old is in daycare and I’m working who do you think does majority of the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning? When she’s sick and needs to leave early or stay home it’s me who stays with her since my partner has the corporate job and I have the government job (teacher). When they are little there is no working it’s just str…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:41 AM
3

Come off it even in most two parent household women do most the child rearing. You need to add fist of a cleaner babysitter (24hours) cook and personal assistant to your 25k calculation. And also it’s a lot more than 25k for a surrogate in many places.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:12 AM
22

Yep same thing
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:30 PM
39

I usually think that if the guy feels like that he’s probably not going to be a good partner and that he is has likely been chasing high maintenance women (if he hasn’t been then the first point rings even more true) Beyond that though ok doesn’t impact me and he’s entitled to his opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:11 PM
1

You presumably spend at least 40 hours of work on your job - good lawyers here will often spend more - regardless if you think it’s a big part of your life or not, it actually is. A lot of people find talking about work interesting. It fun to know how or why someone got I to what they do, you can ask follow up as about someone university depending on the flow Of convo (this turned out to be good for me and my husband d because we found out we did our bachelors at the same uni so Lots of fun conv…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 08:02 PM
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If this is about you I’m sorry, life is hard enough without any type of disability to possibly ‘other’ you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:48 AM
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Do lots of activities that are likely to attract introverted or home body women - not to sexually attract them but to have them in the vicinity to build platonic and possibly romantic relationships. Game nights, book clubs, etc. Realistically it’s going to be hard for this guy talking is crucial for building relationships and women do tend to be attracted to things like timbre in voice so if it’s really high squeaky and quiet it could put off a lot of women. They may need someone unconventional …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 01:42 AM
1

Imo people are a lot younger deal with it isn’t gendered. To women men are hard to deal with. It’s just how it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 03:34 AM
2

Most men don’t notice tbh which is pretty sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:28 AM
1

Acting like what - nagging or stop nagging. Also ok good for you
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:25 AM
1

That’s not what I said at all if you can’t read and u dean properly this conversation will go nowhere. If we are already having problems it was an example of how that could be the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back (so the actual problems would be why we split that would just be further confirmation) and why ignoring nagging isn’t smart. People don’t just complain repeatedly about something for no reason. Lucky for me my husband actually does care and take what I say seriously so I wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:09 AM
1

Yes it would if we are already having problems it would show that he doesn’t care about how I’m feeling even when I directly tell him how something impacts me. That’s not some crazy idea. If someone tells you they don’t like something if you love them you listen.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:59 AM
1

If it’s so small why is she complaining about it over and over again? I’ve never nagged my husband because when I tell him something bothers me he tries his best to change that behaviour. He sometimes slips but not enough for me to feel he doesn’t care about creating a happy space for me (for example I dislike when he leaves dirty clothes in the bathroom rather than taking to the laundry room) or that he doesn’t care about my needs. If for some fictional and unlikely reason I were doubting our r…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:42 AM
1

A good rule of thumb of if it’s being brought up repeatedly it’s probably important to the person. It wouldn’t be nagging if it was only said once. There also would be no nagging if the thing that’s being brought up was just fixed or taken seriously the first time. Regardless if it’s minuscule or not to the other person it can be the straw that breaks the camels back when looking at the relationship as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 01:24 AM
1

Women will say what’s wrong and then if it’s ignored is where it becomes a problem. People who communicate only in passive aggressive ways are immature and hopefully just young otherwise they aren’t mature enough for a relationship. Men underestimate though the impact of their refusal to work on the relationship issues that bother women since it’s likely small potatoes in their minds. Also boosting esteem comes first, validation after and never hurts. Men would agree as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:43 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:41 PM
0

Yes the gym but not to land an upgrade. Usually if you are in that place where you start looking for patterns to confirm if the relationship needs to end you self esteem is pretty low. Gym is a great way to boost self esteem the better you look the better you feel. Cheaters sucks, most don’t. Most also don’t have a back up plan but they do start to notice options while in the detaching phase. That’s not a back up plan though. Honestly guys then whinge they didn’t see it coming but it’s all prett…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 11:09 PM
1

Women tend to prepare for breakups. We can be considering it for months. Watching for patterns to confirm our decision or to give us hope. Usually the patterns are confirmed. Some might think why don’t we communicate our unhappiness - we do. We are told we are nagging, or over reacting. When we stop nagging or putting up a fuss the man might think we’ve finally come around to acting more like he would want but really we’ve started disassociating and decided arguing or asking isn’t worth it. So d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:52 PM
1

Women tend to prepare for breakups. We can be considering it for months. Watching for patterns to confirm our decision or to give us hope. Usually the patterns are confirmed. Some might think why don’t we communicate our unhappiness - we do. We are told we are nagging, or over reacting. When we stop nagging or putting up a fuss the man might think we’ve finally come around to acting more like he would want but really we’ve started disassociating and decided arguing or asking isn’t worth it. So d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:50 PM
6

But that line is going be different for everyone. Is it reasonable that a 24 year old guy whose gone to uni, has a decent entry level career with good trajectory, who works out and has good savings habits doesn’t want to date a 30 year old single mom - yes so reasonable. Is it less reasonable for a 35 year old divorced guy with a kid every other weekend who works part time or in a low paying career like mechanic to also not want to date the 30 year old single mom - sure that’s his right but some…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:43 PM
14

Be as picky as you want but don’t complain you aren’t getting any options, and if you do complain certainly don’t bad mouth or name call the people who aren’t meeting your standards - be respectful to people, you don’t need to date them but you shouldn’t degrade them either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:38 PM
6

Bro most people have at least 1 thing that they stand out in. You would really have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to not stand out in anything. Per your example you could spray a great cologne and stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 08:41 AM
10

That’s bullshit my friend. Men and women are both equally hireable. An associates degree is probably one of your problems Ngl. It’s not really specialising in anything it’s general. Women are outpacing men in education so it’s likely that if women are applying for the same roles as you that they could have more than just an associates such as having a bachelors and then they would automatically be the more preferable candidate. Corporate is also such a broad category- if you are applying for rec…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 04:01 AM
8

Education is important - either get a degree that will lead to lucrative career or go into a trade early. Save and invest your money. Treat yourself to nice clothes, haircuts and develop fun social hobbies. Say yes to as many social opportunities as you can. Cultivate a large friend group if possible. Play a sport socially. Don’t rely on dating apps. Go to the gym. Go to parties. Ask women out, if they say no accept it graciously. Therapy is good if you need it. If you struggle with relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:44 AM
0

It’s almost like make and female sexualities are different The funny thing is it makes sense for straight women to like gay porn since there are two men to look at. If all straight porn had a more balanced gaze then maybe straight women would enjoy it more
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 08:27 AM
1

Have a look at any of the extreme categories and most people who watch it would much rather it remain a porn fantasy vs a real thing. Lesbian porn being attractive to women is because female pleasure is the star which means women can generally imagine it is happening to them easier whereas with straight porn it’s the mans pleasure and is filmed for a male audience. Women also consume higher rates of gay porn too than straight porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:53 AM
3

Don’t pretend men aren’t wanking it to shut they wouldn’t actually want to Do/ see/ fuck Porn is different
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:47 AM
–

I think if women are being very judgmental about people looks, clothes nails etc that could be toxic femininity but I imagine would be more targeted towards other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 10:35 AM
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It’s great she asked him what he would do after child birth and toileting - it’s a real thing that women may need help initially. After both my c sections I needed my husband to help me walk to the toilet for the first time, help lower me on the toilet help me stay upright and help me up when I was done. He also had to help me shower and wash my legs for me. You lose a lot of dignity after a c section and having someone who would make you feel bad about any of that after you just birthed their c…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 10:33 AM
1

Yeah as I said I don’t have rules either I just have notice what I tend to be more attracted to initially which is what I think a type is - it doesn’t mean you can’t be attracted to someone who doesn’t fit that type. There is a lot of variation within most races however I think on average if people are saying a specific race it’s probably the stereotypical phenotype of that race that they are referring to and not the lower percentage variations of phenotypes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 09:42 AM
1

Most the Indian guys I’ve met have been pretty recent immigrants and tbh they are usually middle aged so that would definitely impact my opinion or I see them on tv like cricket and don’t really see anyone I’ve been attracted to, but this guys videos I think he has very expressive soft and soulful looking eyes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 09:32 AM
1

It’s physical traits like I’m usually attracted to white guys but more of the tan/olive white vs very white /pale. I’m white but olive so usually go for people With similar ish features but it’s not strict like hair can be whatever colour, eyes can be whatever so within that I also tend to Be attracted to some Latino or Spanish or even some Mediterranean men because they all can kind of fall in that zone. It’s also not a rule like I have been attracted to the odd black or Indian or Asian or very…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 09:29 AM
0

Indian guys normally are not my type but on Facebook there is this guy whose reels I like and his personality comes through and he seems great and I definitely think he’s attractive now. Anyone else see Rahul Rai’s videos? It’s all the millennial dance moves he busts out lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 09:15 AM
1

I think you might get too easily attached to people then. Even with distance now you can’t see if some of those relationships ships would have led you to a better/happier life than the others? I would have married my first boyfriend at the time because I was young and dumb and thank goodness I never got pregnant or otherwise glued to him and I came to my senses about 5 years in. Now I can see how all of my previous relationships would have led me to being a single mother eventually (or a battere…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:01 AM
1

I’d say someone willing to die for a random shit relationship is unwell, it’s different if it’s your forever person who for most people implies compatibility and deep connection and probably marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 11:33 PM
1

You need mental health help if you think it’s ok to stay in relationships that cause you to mentally spiral. You are lucky they broke up with you by the sounds of it. Your view is an outlier one, and it’s unfortunate for you however you shouldn’t tell people their views ar morally bankrupt that’s ridiculous the point of dating is to find happiness and comparability not to just marry and suffer with the first person you ever date.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 10:28 PM
1

Have you ever had a relationship? I seriously doubt it with this take - or if you have you were dumped and it has made you form this really fucked yo view of relationships. Incompatibility is real, happiness is worth chasing and there are people you will genuinely enjoy a relationship with without needing to suffer for the sake of not breaking up
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 10:04 PM
3

It’s really not. Your looks you are generally born with as men love to point out immutable characteristics and all. Your ability to generate income is partly luck (geography, family connections etc) but also partly your intellect, your choices, and your work ethic, the latter 3 far more tied to your personality than your looks
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:44 AM
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They are wrong. It’s ok to approach women at bars and clubs. Especially if you literally just walked over and said hello and when she said not interested walked away. Anyone saying that getting kicked out is acceptable for that doesn’t know social etiquette. The only way I would agree is if you are misrepresenting what happened and did something very crass like touch on approach or say something so outrageously perverse. Which I doubt. Did your wing woman ever try to warm approach you though?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:56 PM
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That’s fucked if you are telling it exactly as it was. Sorry that happened that is NOT normal nor ok. Also fail To wing woman she’s supposed to talk to the girl first and then warm introduce you
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 10:19 PM
7

Women really were not happy en masse then. They were all on opioids to get through their day. We’ve (women) spoken to our grandmas and some Of us our great grandmas and we know what they thought of their life and marriages and the lack of opportunities they had in life. Marriage was their only option.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:42 PM
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How what happened
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:23 PM
14

This is true for both men and women and it’s not a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:13 AM
2

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 10:14 PM
3

I don’t know who that is. But I do not believe every woman is great at sex but I don’t think that matters to men’s orgasm which is why men suck at giving women orgasm which brings us to our original point of men sucking since they can’t give women orgasms and yet women can give men orgasms even just being a dead fish as you say.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:23 AM
1

Good cry or bad
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:19 AM
4

This whole sub is men lamenting about their lack of sex and whenever people suggest hookers 99% of them don’t actually consider that an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 12:16 AM
6

If we duck so bad then why are men literally lamenting about it being life or death if they don’t get pussy. Just jerk off.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:30 PM
6

🎻 No we act like guys don’t care and therefore suck at sex which most do because most don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:16 PM
5

Oh come off it. It’s not that hard that you are doing advanced positions and handstands enough with the hyperbole it’s a clit it is an obvious spot. Concentrate on it until She’s done. Women don’t act like it’s the hardest thing to please us in fact it’s so simple that it’s frustrating that so many men don’t. They either eat out a woman for 2 minutes max and expect her to have finished. Or they think a quick run and she will be right.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:10 PM
2

Correct. And most men knowing this still don’t take the time or effort to make a woman orgasm through stimulating clit. The ones that do are good dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:58 PM
0

It’s not bad faith. I don’t think we should have a draft. I think we would have enough volunteers and more importantly enough paid military. If we don’t then tough shit. Make militarily pay and/or benefits better. I’m Assuming this is the USA you are talking about. Any country actually advanced enough to “overthrow” us would be like China and they wouldn’t strip Women of their rights anyway. Your whole fantasy is just that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:10 PM
3

The benefit is that you get to keep your society safe. If you don’t care about that then why does it matter if we abolish the draft. If our paid (and anyone who wants to volunteer in the) military can’t defend our country then maybe whoever conquers us can just have the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 08:57 PM
56

In most cases the actual shape and size of the dick is irrelevant. It means he makes you orgasm. A lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:48 AM
6

The point is op doesn’t have healthy relationships and thinks going to someone for advice is choosing that person over another regardless of context as some people have more relevance for asking advice than others but even if that’s the case it would probably hurt ops ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 02:49 AM
12

It depends on what I need advice on. My dad and husband are in completely different fields, have differing expertise, and would be appropriate sources of advice for different contexts. Anything to do with our kids, home, my personal health, my personal relationships etc - go to husband because duh he’s in it with me. Same for anything related to his field, or experience. Anything relating to things financial - my dad, my husband hates investing/wealth planning so I do it all and my dad is also g…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:57 AM
–

This is not the space for this. If you can’t figure out to search a YouTube video and practice on your own you are obviously too young to be having sex and probably too young to be on reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 11:28 PM
2

No. Why should she beg him for a relationship and why would he want her to? Both sound like crappy prospects
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:02 AM
1

I don’t get this - why does it matter if you were t the first fir some woman, if you really want someone without “chad years” why don’t you focus on more average and religious women?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:09 AM
3

Worse is a matter of perspective Grass is always greener and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 04:07 AM
3

What makes you think women don’t have our own sets of trade offs? Men really think All Women have to do is exist and that we will thrive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 03:42 AM
6

Men finding most women visually attractive isn’t actually them finding most women attractive as partners. Women don’t find most men visually attractive but they could find most men attractive if they are attracted to their individual personality and characteristics - responsive desire vs spontaneous desire. This is where the social skills and game come in. Obviously not true for all men especially if very unattractive but most people are average - neutral which is all you really need to become a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 03:15 AM
7

No one likes most people. Why should women like most men? The idea is to like 1 person. You need to get to know people. If men don’t have the “game” which is really just social skills and timing then that’s what they need to work on. Again a lot of your examples of trying are geared towards online. Online is not it; You need to be making social connections in person with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 02:49 AM
1

Ok and these repeated failures… again if it’s making a low effort tinder profile, sending a few “heys” to the few matches you might scrape up and maybe even once telling a crush you liked her then you haven’t really tried. If it’s also just trying to dress better and go to places like a club without actually working on talking to people or hoping for a woman to hit on them then again you haven’t reallly tried. Unfortunately some People will feel like they have tried and failed but their “tried” …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 02:18 AM
0

If you are discouraged from even trying then how do you actually know it’s that hard? Sounds like you’ve (or are asserting that many men have) given up before even trying. You don’t get to do nothing (or even 1 thing such as take a few crappy photos, make a low effort tinder profile and then call it a day and start complaining when you don’t get matches) and claim something is too hard. If it was too hard we wouldn’t have people still matching up and forming relationships but we do. So maybe it’…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 02:08 AM
6

Why should it be easy? Here’s why it shouldn’t: dating is an investment of time, money, and comes at expense of using that time and money for other things or people such as friends or saving towards things you want. If it was so easy to just date every person there would be too much time and money lost during the vetting process as you would likely be going in constant first or second dates. Much better for it to take awhile up front and go on dates with people you genuinely think you would go o…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 02:01 AM
1

I agree but not sure how your comment fits in as a response to mine
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 01:48 AM
5

This. Lunching with the other moms, day drinking and Pilates and then picking up the kids from school to then take them to their equestrian practice? Sure sign me and I’m sure most other moms up. Reheating frozen meatballs and chicken nuggets you got on sale from a coupon to be served with frozen veggies (because fresh ones ton expensive) and then spend your day cleaning up in circles after your 3 under 3 in your two bedroom apartment? No thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 02:08 AM
2

Is your wife still worried? Are you worried about the content exposed to kids at school or online? What kinds of steps are you taking to protect him? From one parent to another lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 12:59 AM
1

If that’s your observation then yes you should not date those women. I disagree women do it more in general. It’s about equal imo with some communities it obviously will be higher than others
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:13 AM
1

Thank you 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 12:57 PM
11

I’ve had my baby - very sore from c section it was more calm having a planned than emergency but feels more painful now than the first they said that’s normal the extra scar tissue. Thankful he’s here though he’s a beautiful boy and thankful we both safe. Sad I’m in a shared recovery room though (fireworks problem) the lady next to me won’t go to sleep and she’s keeping me up and I don’t wanna be that person asking her to turn off her light she’s a first time mom and just doing her best with wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 12:51 PM
1

I dint think either is way worse tbh just different. I think both have a responsibility to protect their relationship and self regulate and prevent cheating or breakup if they can’t control themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 12:42 PM
5

Gay (male) couples actually have the highest rates of cheating. Some Of that would be agreements to do so but a lot of it is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:52 PM
4

The fact that if a man has tried, or has let porn take over in an unhealthy way or for some have paid for it (or tried), or even if he slowly builds up a relationship through work or something - is enough to leave over. Even if nothing comes from his attempts it’s even trying that ends relationships. Not all men would but a lot do
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:31 PM
3

That’s a pretty sad way of looking at it imo. It’s better to attract one who’s going to be down for you and not have eyes for anyone else than to just keep hopping around like bunnies. Right now it’s generally women who have to be worried about men and their spontaneous desire as it causes so many issues in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:42 PM
7

If men are scared of women cheating now imagine if we did have spontaneous desire
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:21 PM
4

I don’t think they actually realise the practical difference between a healthy relationship and just sex/ someone to talk with for ‘companionship’. It also is usually obvious when someone wouldn’t be a healthy relationship partner and they tend to become unattractive because of it when you spend more than 5-10 mins talking to them
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:59 PM
10

The sad thing is if you feel like you need a relationship for purpose and validation you are already starting on the back foot because that’s not the kind of person in a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:48 PM
14

How was that your take away?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:47 PM
–

Still no labor for me - booked in for a repeat c section tomorrow as drs (and I agree) don’t want to go too far past my due date as risk of still birth increases and I don’t want an induction of labor since that can increase risk of uterine rupture in someone whose had a previous c section (and are more likely to fail past 40 weeks anyway especially since I’ve never had a vaginal birth) This is my last baby, sad I’ll never experience vaginal birth and that I’ll have the recovery of a c section a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:28 AM
1

This is impossible to know, too many variables. Women haven’t been socialised as men, our hormones are different, history and gender roles etc. might as well rewrite worlds history for this fantasy to get an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 12:16 AM
1

I don’t think so - I fully accept there is European beauty standards that have been normalised but things have also been changing and there are gorgeous black models everywhere these days and much more representation which is great - though I also acknowledge most the diverse models would have Anglo features regardless of skin tone similar to what I described earlier. However assorted mating is again pretty well studied and people without the European Beaty standard do rate people with similar f…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:00 PM
–

But not necessarily. I prefer white men (in general) as I prefer the features they tend to have - I do not find ALL white men attractive however and I have found men of various races (example- filipino, se asian and black) sexy and attractive though they typically had features that were similar to Caucasian features despite their skin tones being obviously different (so like more angled jaw, sharper nose, strong defined eyebrows, height). You can prefer various features for the features themselv…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:14 PM
–

I disagree a lot with your comment. Even your observations aren’t contradictions. - - You can hate capitalism but not want to be poor or struggle within the system so choose to have a good job and date a man with a good job. Not a contradiction. - You can be for migration because on a human level why should something you have zero control over such as country of birth dictate if you have access to fresh water or be safe from war - basic humanitarian position to think migration positive due to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:45 PM
2

If no one can suggest a suitable reason that has to do with their sexuality then yes they are saying that it is biphobic. A different commenter phrased it as it’s just the way the brain works and I kind of like that but it’s the same thing in that people can’t explain every reason well or fully, especially when it comes to attraction, we all have hormones, gut reactions, and fantasies and expressing them verbally isn’t always going to translate perfectly often people can’t explain every just say…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:35 PM
2

Like my very first comment. Which started the entire thread. The last sentence. I
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:11 PM
3

Dating is inherently “discriminatory” you are going to disqualify people For any number of things. Not earning enough income, career, hygiene, disability, religion, looks, family dynamics, sexuality, hobbies, kinks, body type etc. Disqualifying for any reason is ok. If you don’t agree that’s fine you are in control of your own dating life and can do as you see fit for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:10 PM
1

I’ve addressed this elsewhere. Straight men say themselves they take what they can get. Men also in general have a reputation for having sex with anything that moves and even inanimate things like pies, socks, and the famous reddit old coconut and butter story. Women don’t tend take what they can get, they tend to vet harder for comparability and for a lot of straight people Sexuality is going To be something they want to be aligned on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:07 PM
1

I agree with your second paragraph in that it’s exactly what I’ve been trying to say. Most people will just preference dating someone of their own sexuality because it’s how the brain works and is wired. Never have I said it’s ok to say or insinuate it’s because bi men are less masculine, or can’t understand straight culture. I’ve also made it pretty clear that using insults would be considered homophobia/biphobia both of which I would agree is wrong. Respectfully not being interested though bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:57 PM
–

And maybe not dismissing peoples opinions as an inability to be introspective and curious would help some people discover they don’t need to be pointlessly bitchy. You can like and dislike things for reasons that don’t feel good or align with other people Opinions and that’s ok as long as you are respectful to people especially when rejecting someone romantically/sexually.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:49 PM
1

Right so you have no response. I think we are done.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:41 PM
3

People don’t choose their sexuality and can’t just change it on a whim even if a person outside of their sexuality is an absolute (platonic) soul mate. Bi people unfortunately have a hard time because despite being attracted to both genders, straight people generally are going to be attracted to someone of their own sexual orientation and probably not going to want a partner who would also enjoy gay sexuality (this is not gendered I mean gay as in just not straight). Just like a gay person isn’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:40 PM
1

Sounds like you want me to talk in absolutes but I don’t because there’s always exceptions. Sexuality impacts lifestyle all the time and you are being disingenuous all over this thread to multiple people who clearly don’t agree with you. Best example was the person you admitted sexuality isn’t a choice too and then when they followed up with then it’s not a choice is a straight person is viscerally attracted to a bi person or Not you pretended to not understand. Typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:29 PM
2

Claiming someone is homophobic or biphobia for not dating them just muddies the water of what actually counts as biphobia and homophobia and just hurts those communities as people tend to tune out hyperbole which can then translate to tuning out actual problematic behaviours. See what happened with “woke” culture. Genuine issues were being raised and given attention and then before long very minor things were being called out and given so much attention that people just lumped it all as “woke” a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:10 PM
2

Then you don’t really know what disrespect looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:00 PM
6

Maybe it doesn’t matter to you. That’s great if it doesn’t, not everyone is going to hold that same belief. Sexuality also impacts lifestyle for most people by the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:58 AM
2

Really because I don’t think needing to tell people things like “I’m not physically attracted to you” makes society better. It doesn’t reduce the amount of hurt the person being rejected is going to feel. It just makes them feel worse. It’s also not up to the person doing the rejection to soothe the other persons ego or insecurities, as long as they reject respectfully and with kindness or grace than that’s fine is enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:57 AM
3

And people over history also were also rightly pulled up when they acted disrespectful to say the least. If you treat people with respect and equal opportunity in life then that’s fine. Dating has never been an area required to be into all people it’s already a purposefully “discriminatory” field other wise all female gender and male gender would be equally into all of the opposite gended. We know that’s a ridiculous expectation and we don’t need people To justify why they don’t like someone pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:54 AM
4

Dating based on sexuality is what most people do. Gay people date other gay people because those people align with their sexuality. Straight people do the same. I get bi people, pansexual or demisexual or maybe even asexual /aromantic people people might not care about the other persons sexuality but they are a minority. For some (and I would think most but can’t really know for certain) straight people they will only be romantically interested in other straight people. I clarify romantically in…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:51 AM
3

And why do you need to justify it? If you aren’t being rude or disrespectful to a person then again “ I am not interested” is a complete sentence that needs no other follow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:46 AM
1

See me below comment on why comparing how straight men view bi women isn’t the same as how straight women view bi men (and all men in general)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:28 AM
-1

I’ve gone down this road with a user a few months ago and there was zero reason they could suggest that wouldn’t (in their eyes) be considered biphobia if the woman just wants to date a straight man being a straight woman herself. Maybe we should stop pushing people to give detailed reasons on why they don’t want to date someone especially if it’s coming from a place of trying to reason or change their view based on someone’s subjective opinion or logical thought process. I’m not interested is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:26 AM
-9

Some straight men might sure. Some straight woman might as well - my comment said MOST straight people will want to date other straight people. I also don’t think comparing male to Female dating standards is also applicable in your comparison because many men themselves will Say they will take what they can get, or the amount of men that will have sex with anything that moves or even things like pies, lotion bottles, socks, or old coconuts filled with butter (epic reddit story btw if you haven’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:16 AM
-5

Male homophobia is only looked down on when they treating them with disrespect but no one is asking a straight guy to date a man and accusing that person of homophobia when he says no he’s into women. Women who are into straight men aren’t homophobia for not wanting to date bi men, they would be homophobia if they are treating the man with disrespect for being bi or with men not for not dating them. Spin it however you like but most straight people are romantically interested in other straight p…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:56 AM
2

It’s usually a you love it or hate it kind of thing and less dependent on male partner (assuming female receiver and assuming male partner isn’t a complete idiot who just try’s to stick it in with zero warm up and too little lube) Dies her being at least willing give you validation? Good on you for maybe not wanting it though shows you are more into sex for mutual pleasure than your own gratification - this tends to be a trend amongst better sex partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 09:34 AM
1

Australia Sydney in a region that’s mostly Aussie’s think beachy / fit upper middle class to upper class which is my preference and type
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:36 AM
1

High chance of attractive person
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:27 AM
0

Lucky me the people in my vicinity are generally pretty attractive. However if it was an unattractive body then no ch ace but that would be ok we could still cuddle and be close intellectually. If my husband’s body became unattractive due to an accident which led to weight gain plus aging it would be different since it would still be him the shared history of knowing him in his body would outshine a random unattractive body even if inside he was the same. If he didn’t have the same face it would…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 03:22 AM
2

I’d say those men are part of the middle class too though tbh (at least here because tradies make bank here in Australia) If trades aren’t making great money in the states though then that would be different. It also would depend on the context like if it was a genuine passion choice vs desperation. Honestly I was kind of thinking of the low status and low paying jobs like retail, hospitality, cleaning, general labour, farm work when I wrote my comment
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 06:10 PM
2

Not only this but to add most people these days who engage in family planning (so not poor / low ses) the parents and women especially tend to be very involved in raising their children with good education, kindness and providing extra activities and opportunities for their kids all of which are great but add to the mental fatigue and complexity of raising healthy children
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:52 AM
5

This is low key a good a point. Privilege allows you education which allows you in many cases jobs you tolerate to love if you are lucky and which likely pay well enough without also breaking your body.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:32 AM
6

I would call it grand theft and him a thief
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 08:12 AM
7

That’s your choice but certainly won’t help in having civil conversations amongst men and women and it’s a shame you can’t see that being a bit more respectful of people could go a long way to gaining empathy and support which leads to change especially in something as delicate as child support and paternity fraud but you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:54 AM
26

But it’s not his home in either scenario - it’s both their homes in both scenarios. Who cheated on who doesn’t change that or negate all the work either partner put into and sacrificed for the relationship - this is what op was about the motherhood and raising home aspect the woman did is negated by you judging either situation as worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:47 AM
11

I haven’t justified cheating it’s pretty strange you have inferred that might be a reading comprehension issue. You can call a cheater a cheater without calling them a whore.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:41 AM
11

You know I addressed your questions in good faith; calling hypothetical people names like that is pretty rude. There could be other reasons beyond cheating such as rape or temporary dissolve of relationship where she had other relations before getting back together with ex, or perhaps she did cheat. Either way calling people a whore isn’t really helpful especially in a conversation to women where men are getting support from women for their ‘side’
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:18 AM
8

Then that parental alienation and dad can actually fight that in court. Depending on the age of the kid it’s also not as easy to do as some people assume. Kids know who shows up for them regardless of what’s being whispered in their ear especially if it’s 50/50. Also pretty bad look for mom, most kids would have questions and judge mom for this too.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:12 AM
7

No he shouldn’t have full parental rights (as I assume you mean full custody) but it should be 50/50 if he wants it since they were legally married, he’s presumably on the birth certificate as the legal father so he should have the legal rights. The bio father at that point is irrelevant even if the mother moves in with him ( though I think this hypothetical must be extremely rare, but I’ll play along) since he would just be a bf at this point and the mother already recognised ex as legal father…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 07:07 AM
8

Yes that would be fair. There probably would be a few people who slip through the cracks such as if he knew for sure (conversation was had) about the child’s parentage not being him and he accepted it at one point and then later changed mind however that would mean that couples in that situation could proactively be a law to accept responsibility with some kind of documentation (probably more relevant for married couples) but this would be a minority of cases so I think for the majority of men i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 06:51 AM
1

I’ve never seen that before but I agree it’s cringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/26 05:38 AM
1

Honestly it’s like that here too - I still refuse to be in that boat. I was careful about education and who I vetted for relationships, when I had kids, and how we saved our money when we needed to. Unless I ever win the lottery I won’t be rich but I won’t be stuck renting either. We still have choices, education/job field and partners the big impactful ones. Might be different going forward when /if AI disrupts job availability though
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 07:37 PM
1

Most people aren’t peasants these days. Peasants also never had, they had no point of reference. We do these days. I cover better life than a peasant Ngl if you don’t then that’s good for you but I think most people wouldn’t accept it especially in a rich western country
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 05:14 PM
1

Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work. If you are both always stressed about paying the next bill, or having to manage each others spending or feeling like the other isn’t doing enough it’s a recipe for resentment. Yes you can love someone if they aren’t poor. Money shouldn’t be what you love about a person but it can be hard for a person to actually show their qualities if every day is just about keeping food on the table and the lights on and worse there’s only stress and negative feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:12 PM
1

Yes it does because they were deceived. Their worldview was a lie. I believe all things will be known in death too, not necessarily heaven but definitely some connecting factor of the universe. That poor person would get to the afterlife and be so disappointed. But again I don’t think lies stay hidden. They will Find out or if they don’t the kids will, people aren’t good long term liars (excluding sociopaths and psychopaths) heavy is the soul who carries deceit and they either make a stupid mist…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:04 AM
1

The average woman would suck too man it wasn’t gendered if you look at the first part of my comment. And again I think average men are actually doing better than what you think. But I agree people ARE transactional which if not the main value you Look for is not a bad thing. Example - valuing only what a person can provide you means you will likely have a loveless relationship. Valuing only “love” could see you broke or being walked all over. Valuing both what a person provides AND love means yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 03:00 AM
2

I think it devalues their experience vs their entire existence. Also statistically, lies come out and are revealed eventually more often than not
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 01:28 AM
4

The cheating partner is forcing their partner to be exposed to financial, sexual and emotional harm regardless if they are immediately aware or not. I wouldn’t call that bliss friend. The only one having bliss is the cheater not having to deal with the drama and pain they are causing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 11:24 PM
4

Nearly every woman experiences inappropriate behaviour by the time she is 14 years old - this was especially true for my generation (millennials). What you say is a minority of men may be true however majority of women still experienced it and that was the point of me too. That people (men) weren’t very aware of how much of a problem that minority of men were causing for the majority of women. As a personal example, I was groped on the street as a 18/19 year old by a teenager who would have been…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 10:21 PM
4

Me too happened because men got handsy without consent, didn’t take no for an answer and were also highly inappropriate and disrespectful at times NOT because they would hit on or approach women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 10:08 PM
19

It’s this - though for me if he is conventionally attractive I can appreciate that but still wouldn’t be enough for me to be “into him”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 06:32 PM
–

The terminology is the only thing that changed. It used to be called normal things (though push and pull has always been that) You obviously never grew up reading 90s and 2000’s magazines.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 06:28 PM
1

It’s absolutely generic advice wrapped up in ro terminology. If you put it in every day terms all this is old advice and common
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:40 PM
1

Then average sucks dude and is anyone surprised average isn’t wanted? Im perhaps a bit more Optimistic though in that I actually think average men could afford that for emergencies especially in more blue states which tend to Be higher educated and more highly populated.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 05:03 AM
2

People have the most opportunities relative to their ancestors these days. People who struggle and fail often have made a string of choices that have led to unproductive and unfortunate situations. Yes not everyone as poverty is generally a cycle that’s hard to break and luck is involved there but for example education is the number one tool to improve circumstances and women en mass have gravitated towards that whereas men haven’t. A large portion of that does come does get impacted by individu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 04:36 AM
1

It would have been equivalent to about $230 usd you can use your imagination on what you need to buy to hit that on a night out
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:46 AM
0

You realise red pill advice is still just generic try x advice that I am talking about Try gym try hold frame etc it’s all generic and not gonna work for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:21 AM
1

I would be upper middle now at most now but back then I was definitely poor university student. I think I had about $600 a week with a part time job and and our government student stipend. Rent was just under half that. I saved nothing lived week to week and had terrible financial habits but I sure did have fun Also I’m in Australia we have the same issues here Nd I live in one of the highest cost of living cities in the world
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 02:19 AM
19

I think most people do recognise this. But for now the generic advice of try x is still better than nothing when most people can’t actually greatly influence anything you’ve touched on beyond building themselves a good social network but that means struggling people need to do that too which falls into general advice of try x
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 11:39 PM
6

News flash buddy, women have known life is hard from the get go. Why exactly do you think they are going to school, being “boss babes”, and filtering partners with standards such as income? Because life is hard and we don’t want to be on struggle street as some unskilled stay at home mom who gets divorced at 40 and suddenly has no roof, income or experience. None of that has any bearing on anything you’ve said though. Your amber heard example is an outlier and even though she was a bad actor in …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 11:19 PM
4

This is ridiculous. Regardless of laws or how well society functions you will always have people who do not do well in society. That is a reflection of that person and their unique circumstances such as family and luck and not necessarily a reflection of the society. It would be impossible to have a society function without a single bad actor. Why are you assuming women should be perfect beings if society ran the way you wanted? Women are humans and humans are flawed and selfish at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:34 PM
–

Second (and last) baby! This one’s a boy and apparently they can take a bit longer haha
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 10:02 PM
–

Thank you so much! Yes ready to go doing all the things to bring on labour haha. Getting a stretch and sweep today hopefully that helps! My birthday is this week too and I really don’t want to share a bday with baby / be in hospital for my bday but it’s looking possible atp
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 09:58 PM
–

I’m past my due date now, I just want to have this baby. It’s the most pregnant I’ve ever been at 40 weeks 4 days :(
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 09:48 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 09:47 PM
–

Damn that sucks. Have you got Asian or Indigenous heritage? When I was young and used to smoke weed my hair would get extra curly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 09:42 PM
–

Get drunk too then it will at least be funny
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 09:28 PM
6

I’m a millennial too yes things are expensive - see my ramen for the following week comment haha often times a while weeks budget was accidentally spent on a night out. This was when I was still lucky to be living in cheap share houses though
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 11:30 PM
4

Hide a flask if your bra and buy cokes to enhance
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:49 PM
1

I think it would be hard to know if you would grow into someone else’s personality and physical attraction. If you find 60% of your age cohort attractive then I think the average witty girl would be found attractive. I’m not saying people you find repulsive would become attractive .
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:49 PM
2

Some wholesome ❤️❤️ I met good friends at raves but less so the club haha
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:42 PM
1

Has this happened though to you in past or is it theoretical? For most people attraction would grow. Looks fade, disabilities and accidents happen and without the ability for humans to grow attracted to personality relationships Would have a lot harder time staying together. Beauty is in the eye of beholder and all is such an old saying for a reason. I think it’s hard to believe until it happens to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:38 PM
3

Strange I’ve had it and it’s more of a downer. Not exactly a social lubricant type.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:32 PM
3

Pop a squat down the alley with your new best friend who you have plans with for next week before you exchange numbers and wait for the cab only to never text or call each other 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:31 PM
2

That is not a good party substance
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:28 PM
1

Re the maturity comment - some guys don’t grow out of only valuing women for their physical beauty and these types of relationships tend to be highly transactional and fail with time. Guys with maturity are looking for a lasting partnership which requires more than looks and those types of relationships tend to last and also tend to have each partner valuing each others physical appearance even if it’s not the typical conventional beauty they might have once valued/ looked for. This goes both wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 10:26 PM
12

This is why your generation doesn’t have sex you guys don’t know how to party and have fun. The cost? Please if you haven’t spent $300 on a night out was it even an epic night?? We used to save up for that shit it eat ramen the next week to compensate
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:49 PM
2

Nothing is a given since everyone different. You would hope those are universal things but they are not as sine people don’t recognise them in the same way it have different executions as to what constitutes as “nice” for example. It’s also harder for women I think to articulate all the traits that could make someone physically attractive since personality can really influence this (it can for guys too if they are mature) like buck teeth might not be conventional but if you really like Someone’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:44 PM
3

I don’t think op is saying men are lying about it I read it as she is saying men y not actually aware at all the factors that even go into their own attraction towards women because they stop considering after the typical beauty and basic respect aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:37 PM
1

That analogy is exactly why women shouldn’t have to explicitly say we want our bfs and husbands to be attractive it’s a given
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:30 PM
–

It’s relatively to where you live. Presumably she would be moving back to the states and would see she is now in poverty compared to other people with her husbands 60k salary and she likely not working for much
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 09:17 PM
2

That’s maybe true for you. I’ve never had any man be seriously turned off by n count it’s only an online thing I’ve encountered. But to be fair any man I’ve slept with and/or dated all had similar lifestyles and experiences as me so they weren’t jaded or retroactively jealous. But back to the main point focusing on past for a relationship which is literally meant to last into the future is stupid. People change and grow. This doesn’t just apply to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:10 AM
2

The choice was a dead bedroom or sexually satisfying relationship for future
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:58 AM
1

Absolutely. Financial issues cause the most divorces.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:50 AM
1

I don’t think it’s true most men care more about the past than the future. You would be hard pressed to find a man who would choose for example a wife who didn’t have much sexual experience but would end up in a dead bedroom vs someone with normal - high experience who would give you a fulfilling sex married life. Expectations for both within the relationship should be the same - treated well, loyal etc. Focusing on the past more than the future makes no sense when building a life with a partner…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 09:29 PM
7

It doesn’t change anything. If you are happy with how you are treated why does it matter how an ex was treated? Again things change, financial situations change, goals change, experiences shape opinions and tastes/dislikes. If you are happy then that’s what matters, being told about how some ex was treated shouldn’t change that otherwise you weren’t actually happy. No relationship is ever going to be exactly the same they aren’t meant to be you need to hold your own standard for what you expect …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 09:14 PM
4

Right it’s always about sex. If you aren’t happy being a hookup don’t be a hookup why does it make a difference if he has previous gfs before?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:26 PM
13

Oh look the typical “he got to try anal sex with you why don’t I wah it’s unfair I don’t get the exact same sex” argument and attempt at gotcha. No, I wouldn’t care because if I wasn’t happy with the way he treated me I wouldn’t be in the relationship - my standard and opinion for how he treats me does not change based on information on how he treated someone before me. Situations, opinions, and people change I am an adult who knows this. Either I’m happy with what I’m getting or I’m leaving.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:57 PM
24

If he chose just to not work and to spend his time doing hobbies - no we have kids shits expensive. If he got injured or disabled in an accident then yes - though we have insurances so that should this happen we will have financial support and not be a financial burden to our family anyway. If he just needed a mental health break - yes but he will need to return to work after maybe 6 months otherwise we would drain our savings and I don’t want to be in that position. Edit to add: in none of thes…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:16 PM
1

I think it’s fine to act defensively but not ok to be saying things like All men are dangerous or avoid all men. I think people being street smart and avoiding potential situations is a lot more preferable than to not avoid situations get into something dangerous and then walk away with reinforced negative opinions. As a woman I’ve been made to feel really uncomfortable by men even in day light, avoiding a man if I’m alone at night is a way for me to feel safer however it doesn’t mean I think al…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 09:01 PM
1

I agree with that, my comment was more just because there are a lot of people who don’t get the systemic oppression point that accompanies racism and are rightly confused as to why some people say minorities aren’t “racist” when their actions attitudes clearly are the same as racism just minus the systemic oppression point. I do think one difference in comparing the rhetoric from racisms and sexism though would be difference in population assumptions - like for example if someone is claiming if …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:31 PM
1

No and that was not my argument at all. Prejudice behaviour and racist attitudes are all wrong. It’s just that to call everything racisms without recognising the difference that systemic oppression plays while also holding those beliefs kid of erases the awful history and challenges certain groups face. It does not mean that a white person facing hate from a black person merely for being white is wrong for feeling upset about it, and it doesn’t absolve the black person for their ignorant take an…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:13 PM
1

The nuance that gets lost among people that haven’t been exposed to education is this: Racism and prejudice form the same kind of dislike/attitudes from one person/ group of people to another - so white people exerting “racism” over black people would be the same actions /thought or words as if they were exerting prejudice against black people however - the main difference in the words is that to be considered racism there has to also be systemic oppression. So things like exclusion from social …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 08:07 PM
2

Deserve- yes, however so does the good Man in your example. Entitle to - no, no one is entitled to relationships but if someone find a willing partner then they do Deserve to be with someone good in the ways you mentioned as there was nothing unreasonable hygiene, productivity and respect are basic expectations. As for why they deserve this. It’s because it’s basic respect and self reliance things that everyone deserves from a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 05:01 PM
1

Ok your experience doesn’t negate mine though, your opinion is valid and so is mine. There was no implication of being dismissed by op you have put that there, he said she said no and he was fine with that. His feelings after the no were his own and he didn’t seek clarification. He also commented to you that he knew his attractiveness was not in question so again you have put your own spin on the situation and seem unable to concede any other view point could be correct or that your own is in fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:11 PM
1

I disagree. Conversations often lack completion and complete comprehension otherwise communication trope wouldn’t be so big as a problem within relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 10:04 PM
1

I think if you don’t ask a follow up question then you don’t get to be upset or claim You know all the reasons. I think women have been overly socialised in the past to have to over explain and I think now as we become more confident and comfortable in our sexualities or identities it’s good that if we are uncomfortable ins situation for us to just be able to say no as a complete sentence. It’s also ingenious to imply that saying no in one isolated conversation without an explanation means that …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:44 PM
1

I’m not skipping it. For a lot of women no is a complete sentence and if not questioned about something won’t go into it. Op said he didn’t prod past the no.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:35 PM
2

As per op they didn’t talk about it beyond the no. So all of this is hypothetical. I’m giving my experience to offer an alternative explanation, both the assertion that it was due to his attractiveness as well as my alternate explanation , and any other possible reason are all going to be conjecture since the conversation wasn’t had. But thinking of various viewpoints helps reduce bias and stops people from catastrophising in ways that erode their self esteem. Like if you think the only possible…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:32 PM
1

The guys I had the threesomes with were also hot. My husband is hotter. I’m not downplaying your feeling at all but without having had that conversation this is all your best guess on her feelings/reasoning. Sounds though like you kind of already knew you had incompatibilities and this was just another nail in the coffin so to speak. It was like that for me with my ex who I did give in for the second three like I knew already we were not going to last for lots of reasons and giving in and doing …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:24 PM
3

He is entitled to his feelings and they are valid - but feelings don’t always tell the whole picture right people can have all sorts of feelings about anything. He felt deprioritised but it doesn’t mean she was deprioritising him. If my husband brought up the idea of group sex I would shut it down too not because I’m deprioritising him but because I have no interest in doing it it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me and my sexual wants/needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:18 PM
3

From the original comment or though I didn’t get that. It honestly sounded like she just didn’t have any further interest in doing a threesome again and sounded like the commenter was maybe jealous he had never experienced this - that was what happened for my second threesome where I mentioned I knew doing it for my ex meant the relationship wouldn’t last. He wasn’t jealous per say in the way that he was holding it against me but he definitely wanted to do it and was pushing me to do it regardle…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:09 PM
4

In what way because I wasn’t using it as a comparison - I was saying my husband has done literal gang bangs some 4-5 of his friends all smashing one chick, and has done other things like threesomes as well, whereas I’ve only done a couple Threesomes but both times I did it was with another girl as the spare vs than with 2 guys and that all of these would count as group sex and that neither my husband or I are interested in engaging in any form of group sex at this point in our life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:58 PM
6

What do you mean? Why would I want to be shared by anyone at this point? I only want my husband. He feels the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:49 PM
9

This was kind of like me and my husband in that we’ve both done things sexually before that we wouldn’t be willing to do now - for me threesomes with another woman and my ex at the time (which I explicitly explained I did not enjoy as I was not into the girl or girl aspect)- and for him gangbangs with his friends on different girls and various group sex activities. Neither of us want that in our relationship because neither of us want to share each other with someone else, we are happy being eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 07:59 PM
-2

It’s not a silly explanation. Who would use an “insult” that would actually make the receiver feel good? Women know men like sleeping with lots of women, like large penises and being seen as very masculine. “Insulting” these things wouldn’t be an actual insult. It would be like if a guy tried to put down a pretty girl by saying something like “your just a pretty face” or “looks like you only got beauty and no brains” like these wouldn’t be good insults because the person receiving it would just …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 07:46 PM
1

Not everyone gets married.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 06:48 AM
–

While I can’t make a judgment character on someone I don’t know especially with the extremely limited information here, hopefully by the time she is done she will be of a stronger character in one way or another. As for yourself, yes definitely filtering for stability and ethics is a great idea, having similar goals and ideas on what makes a healthy relationship is so important and I really hope you find the right someone to build your future with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:29 PM
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I wish it were always like that too, I would tell everyone to get hard and have high standards for certain things (like education and income on both sides since imo the more educated you both are the more likely you will stay together and be able to work things out due to better compatibility vetting early and perhaps a more shared goal/lifestyle type thing)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:20 PM
–

As a millennial woman my husband out earns me by a good margin, though we are both educated, have masters degrees and we both put effort in the home and into child rearing. I actually think I’m So lucky with how involved with everything he is (except financial planning as that’s more of my domain for us). A large reason for our income disparity though is field of choice he’s corporate im education. I plan on going corporate education one day though so maybe we will equal our down the line
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 08:10 PM
1

And women have to pay for that difference with an abortion which while generally safe can still have serious and permanent negative outcomes
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 06:16 PM
2

Yes I offered to pay every time - if I was sure there would be no second date I would insist on it. If I wanted a second date and he let me pay for myself I would be disappointed but depending on how well the date went might over look it - this honestly never happened though. If the date went well and I offered and he denied and paid for me it helped spark the flames. My husband insisted for the first 3 dates to pay for the meal. I would take us for desert after though or get rounds of drinks de…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 08:07 PM
1

You aren’t getting that if they become viable then it’s all one pot. It’s only 2 pots because they currently not viable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 05:35 PM
1

You are making a lot of assumptions - it’s not dumpster diving if they are viable options is the point. They just currently aren’t and it’s probably due to mindset, profession, personality and/or looks. All of which can be improved. I’m not going in circles with you. If you want to keep your opinion you are entitled to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 05:27 PM
1

The fact men think if you aren’t the first guy a woman is attracted to then it’s not worth a relationship speaks a lot more to your lack of understanding of relationships. If those 2 women were initially after those other guys because of their looks but the guys become taken they are going to look around and see who else they are attracted to. As long as those last two guys can be attractive then there is no Problem even if they weren’t as attractive initially as the first 4 guys. Maybe they did…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 05:06 PM
1

They could still Compete initially for the same 4 but the difference would be if the last two men were actually seen as options then the women might adjust their expectations and then pair off which again is good for both the men and women assuming they all want partners. Currently those 2 women are probably content being single despite preferring a relationship so no motivation to overlook whatever is making the 2 men unviable. If they are viable then that doesn’t apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:48 PM
1

That’s a loss for all the women if 6 women competing for 4 /6 men. 2 women and 2 men going to be left out who Probably want partners. If those last 2 men could become viable options then there could be less competition for everyone and everyone could potentially end up with a partner. Highly simplified example.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:35 PM
2

Because now if there are men she doesn’t want she has to complete with more women for the men she does want. Whereas if the other guys were guys she could potentially want there would be less competition for the other guys
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:13 PM
1

Guess not. Still if someone is talking about listening to make out music with someone while Specifically using the phrase make Out music and the other person doesn’t pick up that it’s a flirtation/ move then that person is really thick. Just like if a guy asks a woman to hang out somewhere alone and she doesn’t realise he’s asking her out on a date and she gets offended that she misinterpreted the date as a friendship Offer then she’s also thick.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 10:58 AM
2

Agreed since understanding social cues and message behind words is literally communication. Pretty sad if you think only viable communication is to say everything extremely plainly with zero nuance. Didn’t you guys learn English in school where you had to analyse messages and meaning in text?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 10:50 AM
1

Could also be guys aren’t good at recognising when they being asked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 10:38 AM
0

I feel like the car example was a girl asking a guy out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 10:28 AM
13

I’m down under too so maybe my answer will Be relevant for you especially as I’ve had 2 serious relationships here (including now husband) and quite a few hookups First long term ex would do it but I would have to ask. He was never great at it, would complain of sore jaw, and it never really got me off so it was meh. Out of my hookups yeah about 50% would do it but it would be for like maybe a min or so max. My husband is great at it, I generally don’t have to ask, but it’s not expected just lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:14 AM
2

If short guys want to talk about their struggles in a respectful way I’m all here for it and can express empathy for it. Unfortunately it often seems to be pretty disrespectful when guys complain about it. Short guys are already outliers man, most men are taller than most women, whenever you talk about short guys it’s going to probably be an outlier conversation. I agree it would take longer for some short guys to find their partner depending on age, location and type of woman he likes but I kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 12:05 AM
1

Having meritless ideas though is a cop out in the context of this conversation because it’s easy to say the government could do something but not actually provide a genuine idea. We currently import more men than women I think due to the skilled visas which is what I was alluding to though I could be wrong there but here in Australia that’s what it usually comes down to. It’s ok I enjoyed our conversation thanks for helping me kill an hour or so haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 12:00 AM
8

Luckily not every woman dates tall white guys exclusively. Certainly women don’t Only Marry tall White men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:58 PM
2

If most men are doing terribly then most people are - which could be true because yeah society is certainly not Prospering. But in the context of this conversation, I think most men are doing fine in that they aren’t victims, they are putting in effort, and they are showing up daily and being better than they were yesterday
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:57 PM
2

That would be extremely sexist to prioritise female over male immigration lol. Would also create problems if those women aren’t skilled - as most immigration programs rely on skilled visas (unless you mean asylum seekers but again very sexist to only allow women to gain safety). Skilled visas mean the person will be able To Support themselves and most people are already against raising taxes for social programs for its citizens let alone immigrants. We don’t need minimum wage workers imported (m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:54 PM
0

I had already rejected your premise that the numbers made a huge difference because of all the factors at play it would equal out. and that when you have any difference of available partners due to any reason it equally hurts men and women since it increases competition for the remaining men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:48 PM
–

Examples of how a government could step in without removing choice? Not everyone will improve though, people are lazy so choosing to be one of the ones who does already puts you ahead. Honestly if all men improved and the baseline was much higher than maybe women would have to be the ones to improve and we could just keep becoming better and more productive attractive versions of ourselves because there are fucktons of average to below average women right now and if men stopped accepting them an…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:38 PM
8

And all the married short guys you love to dismiss aren’t real men right. The shirt guys with gfs don’t exists either right.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:34 PM
1

I literally said men and women. As in if either are unviable. Everything I said in that quote was gender neutral.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:30 PM
–

Government can’t step in on relationships like it could to make things more equal for its citizens - it’s don’t the same for individuals with disabilities in regards to work however though in attempting to remove some barriers to workforce - though many still exist including discrimination just like women are still discriminated against especially during pregnancy despite it being illegal. Relationships can’t have government intervention in the same way unless we are down with removing individua…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:29 PM
3

The fact you think every woman should s going to have nothing but privilege and can’t fail socially or only experience hardship due to their choices speaks to your lack of empathy and understanding for other people and maybe even your desire to paint men as helpless victims in society. Most men aren’t victims, most men are awesome and doing great.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:23 PM
3

Literally haven’t said that. I gave two examples on how someone can be more unviable and I think men are in particular struggling but it doesn’t mean women can’t have those struggles too and be unviable in the same ways. I think men as a whole are struggling though currently more than women due to: the world has changed with women being more independent, AI and labour offshoring, and with late stage capitalism doing everything it can to siphon opportunities away from middle class. The reason I t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:20 PM
–

All my comments are in reference to first world individuals, I won’t claim that first world individuals are stronger than third world I know the challenges we face here are far different and probably insulting to those. However most the discourse on this sub is in reference to first world including all my previous comments which are aimed at first world men/women. So if you are also first world you can take your opinion and shove where the sun don’t shine, and if you aren’t, you should try readi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:16 PM
–

Relationship domain is just social skills. There are lots of ways to improve this. It’s on the individual to improve though - just like at work it doesn’t matter how many laws programs etc there are you still need to advocate for yourself, research and put effort in to access things. I did sales for like 8 years, a lot of people have really bad people skills and they don’t even realise it. I’m now in education and it’s even more apparent than it was to me in sales. People don’t know how to commu…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:14 PM
6

If you are only doing things to win or not be last you already lost. That mindset is the problem, it’s ok to lose and not have results in something it builds character and the only one you should be comparing yourself to is the version of you yesterday. This is the mindset that separates mentally resilient individuals to weak people imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:08 PM
3

These are lots of reasons men become downtrodden and unviable that have nothing to do with finding a gf or love for years. Many men are struggling to find acceptance with how the world works (assuming in go to school, you need to do ok in school, get some kind of qualification trade/professional whatever, and then grind for a while to even have a shot at a decent (by most western standards) middle class lifestyle these days, so men are rebelling against that not realising that in doing so they a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 11:06 PM
1

That mindset is extremely problematic though. People should be striving to improve because that’s just what you have to do in life to get ahead. Not because it’s your fault or because you’re not good enough. Both have the same short term result (effort), one is sustainable and able to find contentment from and on the journey as well as the destination, and one leads to negative outcomes and obsessions like the one you’ve mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:58 PM
4

If it’s worse for men it’s also worse for women (assuming we talking heterosexual pairing here) as downtrodden, ‘unviable’, or even just disinterested men also impacts women’s ability to find a suitable partner. I think while most women acknowledge we don’t need men I think most still want a man and partner to experience life with he just has to be what each woman perceives /values as a benefit to her life in that she (and him) can build and flourish within and for that relationship rather than …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:53 PM
1

I doubt we could just look at raw numbers like that though and make sweeping assumptions that it ends up generally 1:1 (which means that yes 1/10 would remain unpaired). Maybe in the past but not these days where there are lots of factors that impact pair rates yes including women dating older, lgbtq, migration, career oriented individuals, ND, and people uninterested in long term relationships. Regardless though at the end of the day there absolutely is some Luck involved with gender dynamics a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:47 PM
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No it’s the truth though. And so is your third sentence. But shit don’t change if you aren’t willing to accept some responsibility and put in the effort - works that way for most things in life. Key point though in that is change doesn’t necessarily = dream come true fantasy, like I can put all the effort into my work, get promoted quickly etc and climb the ladder and still not end up as a top dog CEO making millions, but I can greatly improve my income.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:42 PM
18

A lot of the men we are married too put a lot of effort into themselves though including their jobs, personality and looks and that means that there is some locust of control into your outcomes (just like we all can influence our outcomes to a degree)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:33 PM
8

Except that if a man lies to sleep with a woman he’s now added to her body count which according to you would be even worse for a woman to not be transparent about. It’s not apples to oranges.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 07:51 AM
1

I agree social media plays a part but the no good men thing doesn’t come from social media it comes from experience too seeing how our mothers, grandmothers etc were treated in their marriages and have realised that often men expect so much and give very little in return when the alternative these days could be single and peaceful. So for many women the expectations of guys has risen because otherwise it’s just probably going to not be worth it down the line since men seem to get complacent and …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 03:50 AM
3

I disagree with this - if you have to be taught how to specifically talk nice to a partner you aren’t a very good partner you are performing
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:51 PM
–

I think you would be hard pressed to find people who genuinely agree with her. I refuse to believe these people are truly holding these opinions and the lack of self reflection to put these types of clips out for any reason other than engagement and trying to make a buck because they don’t have any real value skills to make money in normal ways. Social media and engagement clicks and paying people for that absolutely has driven all this bs. What a shit timeline.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 10:42 PM
0

If it’s so obvious women like status looks intelligence and emotional stability then there shouldn’t be that many men struggling since it’s so easy to see what we like you should be able to replicate it at least in a couple of the realms
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 08:18 PM
1

Look at the popular profiles on dating apps, you can join those subs like r/tinder and you can ask for feedback there. Women do like different things depending on what kind of girl they are but as I said before the more attractive the woman the more attractive you yourself will need to be. If you truly have no idea what women like I would tell you to go to those subs and get a review. There’s also other factors like your job which if it’s a good job having it listed in your profile will be benef…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:46 AM
1

You aren’t getting nothing, you are not liking the honest answer. Would it be better if we lied and gave you false hope? Online dating is literally the most superficial way to meet people and you are acting surprised that there isn’t a way to circumvent that. If there was do you really think men would have been struggling with it for this long? Visual cues (photos) is a form of communication, and in online dating it’s the one that matters first - all the other things come after there is nothing …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 12:25 AM
–

It does though just being in a waiting space kind of sucks. Partner has suggested I go to the pool and do some walking laps there as it won’t hurt my pelvis like regular walking, I’ll probably end up doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 11:26 PM
1

But it’s back to that analogy we already went over, if you selling a food she don’t want it doesn’t matter how well you wash your hands, cook the food whatever other analogy you want to use. Plus I would be real hesitant to try a place that has to advertise some variation of “look I do this thing that should be a basic requirement unlike those other gross places”. Like if you have to say it you are compensating and probably untrustworthy. Only actions will Prove it but again your not going to ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:53 PM
17

I’ve seen it be justified by men too (she doesn’t have sex with me type answers) My personal opinion however is that is never justified.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:48 PM
10

Neither of your first two examples are “female led” men do just as much of the same issues. However I will say regardless of gender cheating is unjustified in all cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:34 PM
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38 weeks pregnant feels like being in pergatory lol. Just waiting for labour, everything’s cleaned prepped, I’m just bored atm and I guess I could go be active but damn I’m uncomfortable
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:32 PM
1

You want something that doesn’t exist and are getting frustrated that it doesn’t work like that. You can’t clarify your way into changing how online dating works. You could say absolutely anything and everything and it’s not Going to Make a difference if the girl Doesn’t like your Photos. The bar is low for men still Only applies if you are already attracted. I’m not going to Go In circles anymore you can Accept it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 10:23 PM
1

I’ve read the replies you have gotten many women have said be more attractive, take better photos, have good style, some women might appreciate a good bio but really it’s all subjective since women DO like different things/looks. that’s it for online dating it’s very superficial and if you want to narrow your search to only online like you’ve said then you need to accept that you are going to have to play the game of taking the best photos you can, marketing yourself from those photos like showi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 09:37 PM
1

You aren’t listening that’s why. There is nothing except being attractive that is going to actually get you the date. Women who use online dating will swipe right if you are attractive and that’s basically it. I used online dating basically every single guy I swiped yes on was a match so you learn very quickly to only swipe yes on the guys you find very attractive, from there you have a stack of highly attractive guys and THEN you start chatting or making plans to meet up and THEN you figure out…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 08:25 PM
0

This seems really odd. Women like people who are fun and social as I said in my first comment and you don’t advertise that. You be attractive to get swiped on for online dating and then the hanging out is the advertisement. Women do like men as a baseline but you still need to be attractive and fun. We aren’t going to like every man. There isn’t some random cheat code you can do in a picture or some magic phrase to start getting matches. Look good and be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 07:49 PM
2

Sticking to your analogy if the properly cooked food you have is all vegetarian food and the potential diner likes eating meat then they aren’t going to go to your restaurant even if all your vegetarian meals are cooked properly. You have to first appeal to what someone wants before any of the qualities or traits will be considered.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 05:20 PM
3

That’s not how attraction works though. You still need to be attracted to a person even if on paper you know someone has all the relationship qualities you would value if you aren’t attracted to them you won’t want a relationship with then. So you still need to appeal to their attraction first.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 04:52 PM
10

Be attractive and social (funny, charismatic) which will get you in the door and if you truly have none of the problems then once your in you will be in for as long as you want barring major incompatibilities. If you aren’t attractive, be social and fun and try to become more attractive but your personality will have to do the attracting so that again you can get in the door
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/26 07:01 AM
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For some sure. For some it’s just how they have adapted and is now normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:34 PM
1

The topic is relationship dynamics, looks are only a part of the dynamic, the rest of the dynamic comes from nuanced individuals. Even looks are subjective like we all agree hot people have an easier time in relationships but people disagree and have their own opinions on what even hot is
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 10:02 AM
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No one ignored it because everyone acknowledges that if you are hot dating is going to be easy. Hot guys with shit personalities might not be relationship material but yes they will get hookups because personalities don’t count for hookups beyond surface level interactions and even then with enough alcahol it’s debatable. Unattractive guys are going to have a hard time with hookups but for relationships they aren’t doomed if they are realistic. Shocker though many aren’t realistic, and double sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 09:46 AM
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People aren’t simple like factoids. People don’t fit into nice objective boxes unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 09:28 AM
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Respect and dignity do not need to come with dating. They are actually separate
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:42 AM
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Of course. Dating success does not determine someone being a human deserving of basic decency respect and dignity
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:17 AM
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I mean most men don’t have all those problems, it’s usually 2 - 3 but yeah the more someone has the worse it will be
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:58 AM
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I won’t disagree with you there. I know a few autistic men in relationships (including my husband) but all are like level 1 and good at masking and successful professionals but that’s not really the norm
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:58 AM
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In the contrary I think most people Online recognise that you shouldn’t be getting advice that is the end all be all online since we don’t actually know you it’s all generalisations. There are probably things you (in general not you specifically) are or aren’t doing and we can talk about those things but unless we actually know someone it’s all generalisations.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:36 AM
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You can follow all the above advice but if there’s something like neurodivergence it’s still an issue and that box can never truly be untucked. Same thing with economic prospects men here are always telling us how unrealistic it is that everyone can have a good job so that’s another box likely unticked. The truth people who struggle don’t like to hear is there probably is more that they can do. And some people do start off so disadvantaged that making real strides can absolutely take years and o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:23 AM
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It’s absolutely subjective one persons truth is not another persons truth. You must not have grown up learning the story of two kids fighting about what colour the inside of a sphere was (one said white the other said black) and when the teacher makes them switch sides and perspective they saw the other person was right from their view. What you feel is the truth is just your perspective and opinion it will not be so for everyone. Dating isn’t a math formula there isn’t one answer only. Even wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:20 AM
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Truth is subjective. What’s not subjective is hate speech and misogyny and black Pill Ideas tend to lead to that regardless if that’s where it starts.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:12 AM
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No one is ignoring it. It’s just not as big of a deal as most blackpill want to make it (unless you are talking about extreme outliers) there are far more impactful things harming men’s dating prospects - lack of education/motivation -lack of economic Prospect - lack of socialisation - neurodivergence compounding socialisation issues - lack of friends and community - lack of self esteem - terminally online - self wallowing which compounds above issues - lack of positive male role models - lack o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:10 AM
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It’s not just topics on looks. It’s the overall negativity it promotes and breeds which has led to other subs being banned for hate speech. Ppd has escaped a lot of the incel hate certain other subs got shut down over due to the stricter rules. I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 06:04 AM
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I’m pretty sure it is banned because of how many subs were banned due to black pill defeatist and harmful takes that fester when you tend to allow black pill ideologies such as focusing on looks. So it was protective of the sub in general. No one is denying looks matter, but some People tend to think it’s the only thing that matters or that it matters to an extent that they should just not try.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 05:33 AM
1

Unfortunately 3 different psychiatrists have said it’s not schizophrenia and while it’s not good to hope for that at least it Would be an answer. I’m glad you are still on medication and putting in effort I hope you continue with that and hope the bad thoughts stay at bay.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 02:56 AM
4

I’m sorry. It’s such a shit go. It hits especially hard that I myself used to party and have fun as did pretty much everyone I know, and while I knew a few people who didn’t make it out they weren’t ever a family member. My brother stopped the hard things thankfully but the luck of the draw is that even thc,nicotine, alcohol, and whatever shit they put in vapes it can impact some peoples brain chemistry - especially when it’s been previously altered by harder things in the past, and that’s where…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:05 PM
1

I wish he would Commit to treatment to get a proper diagnosis. He’s smart though which has worked against him because he’s said all the “right” things to avoid detection during mental health holds. He definitely has triggered latent mental health disorders but since he’s an adult and we can’t force him to get help if he doesn’t want it. Even when he’s been held he just masks until he’s out. But he’s admitted to hearing voices of like his family who shame him and things and he’s had some really m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:17 AM
4

When the compromising and disappointments outweigh the good times over a prolonged period of time. Every relationship has ups and downs yes but if there’s too many downs (especially early) than move on. If it’s a long term relationships 5 years plus and you banked up years of good then the relationship can weather months and maybe even years of strife depending on the situation (such as job loss and low financial security) however if that continues and doesn’t change and starts to outweigh the g…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:29 PM
16

I disagree I think women can be content being single even if they aren’t happy about it. Being content is finding comfort where you are and finding enjoyment despite not having everything you want. Women are happier in good relationships l and single but more unhappy in relationships they don’t view as good.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:07 PM
5

But how could anyone know if love is on the cards for someone? Are there certain people it’s going to be wayyyyy harder for and maybe even nearly impossible? Sure but there’s also outliers who would be in the same boat but who did it (such as squirmy and grubs YouTube couple) so what if that guy was told that? You can be honest without being defeatist
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:05 PM
2

Are you getting help for the depression and adhd? My partners autism is able to be masked really well because he’s so barley on the spectrum like he’s very intelligent and able to act confident and stuff but it does cause depression feeling just out of place in general. He’s had to be on antidepressants and really only got the adhd diagnosis as an adult but the adhd medication has helped a lot. When my husband was young alcahol really helped him be a socialite and while I know suggesting partyin…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 09:37 PM
2

Well if you were my brother and that was your situation I would say get a better job, being a cook isn’t going To pay the bills, if you are truly passionate about being in the kitchen then become a chef onto school get the qualification and grind but realise that most chefs aren’t going to make tons of money and are going to have shut hospitality hours and the kitchen admin sure you know is a toxic environment the stories my brother used to tell me can be really awful. So get a better job go to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:45 PM
1

It’s not even the drugs that would be the worse thing about him currently especially since it’s “only” weed/ vapes. it’s the mental health issues and the resulting personality impacts. No one wants to be around an angry depressed person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:17 PM
2

No you aren’t my brother if those are the initials. I’m sorry for your situation, I hope you can get/accept help and that you can find happiness again. These are all the things I hope for my brother.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:16 PM
1

It’s definitely different as you get older I hope you don’t accept being the only one who pays for stuff it should always be a two way street especially if you want a comfortable family - we have 2 kids we both need to work if we want to give them opportunities and a good life in a HCOL area.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 08:35 AM
3

If he could get a diagnosis and commit to treatment it would help a lot with my opinion of him. You can’t force an adult into treatment though and it’s a lot less painful to just mourn him and hope for the best (while expecting this to just be him from now on) than to continuously be dissapointed and have hope ruined like my parent keeps allowing themselves to be. Every time he reaches out for help he changes his mind after 1-2 days and goes back to his recluse state. Even with mental health iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 06:06 AM
1

Glad you are continuing to try and not blame things going on around you, recognising your role in your own situation is the most powerful thing you can do to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 01:29 AM
16

My brother had attention from women and hookups in high-school and early 20s
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 01:26 AM
2

I think he was at one point. I don’t think he is anymore but tbh we don’t really talk even when we do see each other and I couldn’t say I actually know who he is these days so I guess I don’t really know.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 01:07 AM
21

Wrong he chose to use drugs because it was fun and he didn’t want to believe that it was causing him visible harm from the moment he started. He had lots of opportunities with women even from about 16, had gfs and hookups. He chose to not listen to people seeing changes in him decided he knew best and slowly fucked himself over by making all his issues worse and more noticeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 12:28 AM
3

We thought he could be, he’s been assessed though he’s not schizophrenic though he does have a mood disorder and depression and has had drug induced psychosis a couple times (marijuana). I know not everyone can be successful. My brother could have been though. He wasn’t lacking in intelligence, looks, family opportunities or anything except good decision making skills, the ability to learn from his mistakes, and the ability to ask and accept help without it being an affront to his ego and mascul…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 10:51 PM
5

Yeah. He’s 6’1. He is 27 now
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 10:47 PM
13

No it’s really not. You need to have good social skills too and be pleasant enough to be around. He used to be those things and used to have hookups. Not anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 09:53 PM
8

There are flaws and then there are FLAWS. People like my brother have FLAWS and if men would really accept that in a partner then they deserve all the shit that would come with being in a relationship with them just for access to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 08:16 PM
14

I agree, anyone who acts like my brother would be a terrible partner and a bad family member.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 07:50 PM
21

He also would have been fine if he was accountable and took advice from people. He was a very stubborn he worked himself into the hole Is in now and crawling out would be very impressive but would require a lot of help which he isn’t willing to get or Take. If he were a woman he would have been open to getting help and advice earlier so yeah he likely would have been fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 07:45 PM
26

My brother is doing fucking shit. And it’s such a damn shame. He had fucking everything, great looking guy, height, he can be funny, he had a genuine heart of gold but his real flaws back then were being just slightly off socially like would say things that were just a little bit off in a very minor way but it would rub people the wrong way over time and he was being too arrogant in an obvious fake it till you make it kind of way and it could also rub people the wrong way. Those issues compounde…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 06:51 PM
1

That has nothing to do with leagues between a western woman to the western man vs a western man and a Filipino woman. It’s all relative. If he wants to go over there and find a mail order bride he’s free to do so
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 06:42 AM
3

I’ve been attracted to lots of different races but my husband is white. My first bf was Filipino mixed, second was Irish, and then my husband who is white Mediterranean as well actually but I just think of him as white like I think of myself as white.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:15 AM
2

I hadn’t worked there long I probably would have if I had gotten to Know him better, covid happened in my second month there, we all transition to wfh and then I was let go a few months later and I met my husband anyway while in lockdown /wfh since he lived close to me and the work guy lived like an hour away
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:10 AM
5

Most people are mixed these days like I could pass for lots of ethnicities but also could just be brunette and white
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:07 AM
5

Mixed, white and Mediterranean why
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 10:04 AM
9

I didn’t end up dating this guy I’ll reference but we did work together, he was like a nerdy Chinese guy (but fit) but had like an almost sickly look to his skin and eyes and I saw his tinder when he showed me his pics after telling me about the puppy pics he was using and I wouldn’t have swiped yes on him but I had a crush on him at work because of how funny, chill and interesting to talk to he was. He had endearing quirks lol one he always ate a cucumber in the morning. We had good banter, if …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:32 AM
6

It makes a big difference. Another one I forgot was I had to get along and like his family and feel like they liked me too. I have had an ex where the family didn’t like me and after that I know it’s not something I’ll ever accept again since I am really family oriented and love hanging out with mine and my partners family
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:23 AM
23

I stuck to reasonably high standards - high education, politically similar, generous, good income, loyal and relationship oriented, fun and charismatic, good social life, happy to introduce me to friends and family, hard conversations (kids life goals) reasonably early 2-3 months in, weekend trips frequently to see how we were travelling together
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 02:47 AM
5

The answer is no. To all the women you’ve asked. Nonsllrovef esy of complaining, we don’t like complainers. Mention it fine, be upset about it ok, don’t complain about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 05:29 PM
1

If they are married there should be trust built up. It’s why women get mad when a paternity test request comes from a husband. you trust your husband/wife and if not the relationship is obviously over.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 02:14 AM
1

If a husband trusted a wife he wouldn’t accuse her. If he doesn’t trust his wife she shouldn’t be his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 02:05 AM
1

Exactly right. Only a request for paternity test of a wife is an accusation of trust. Being weary of a stranger is not accusing a partner anything it’s a literal stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 10:44 AM
2

Yeah if you meant Asian slim I wouldn’t have ever fit in that haha even at my peak fitness and slimness despite me being pretty thin at a size 3 in my early twenties so it really is contextual. Are you an Asian dude in Asia or in the west? I imagine if you are in the west and if you aren’t into other Asian women it could be harder finding what exactly what you want if your income game isn’t where the women who would meet your preferences would like them to be (except maybe in Hawaii where Asian …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 06:40 AM
1

Fingers crossed for you it’s just not knowing how to turn regular interactions into an opportunity then. I hope you aren’t waiting for “indications of interest” from women before trying to create a low pressure opportunity for yourself. I do feel for men that they do need to lead a lot. I do also know that if you have a lot of female friends there is a very good chance at least one has had a crush on you if you are at the very least average looking so learning to create low pressure opportunity …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 06:29 AM
1

1 I think you underestimate it especially in a respectful interaction. For example I think it’s perfectly normal these days to say you have a standard of income/fit/attraction - what wouldn’t be acceptable is saying stuff like no brokies/poor people or fatties. I think in the west (especially USA) where slim isn’t exactly average these days a woman can expect to get basically what she wants within reason (goes back to those individual factors within the broad categories - so financially secure d…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 06:18 AM
1

Send a picture if you want in pm I will give you an honest opinion as a 30 something married mom. I think men who aren’t extremely unfortunate looking and truly have zero opportunities are far more likely to be maladjusted in someway (for example social anxiety, extreme neurodivergence and being recluse), very antisocial or secular so they only interact with men, not actually understanding how to turn a regular interaction into an opportunity, or have too many outwardly obvious red flags (but th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 06:01 AM
1

People are people and generally enjoy similar categories of things even if the specifics of those categories differ. For example - financial security hence good income/potential which I Will vary depending on location and class, height which will also depend on location and yes some biological attraction (just like most men liking breasts), college educated for college educated women (which I am - and yes as more women get educated we will overwhelmingly prefer this on a population scale), and b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:51 AM
1

You are missing the middle ground and nuance. I didn’t say that it’s for sure you have no self respect and zero standards but if you really do then that lack of self respect is going to be visible even if you think it’s not. Realistically most people have some Self respect and thus have some standards regardless of the rhetoric you are pushing that you would seemingly not reject any woman whose put in front of you that it would be her rejecting you. You can have self respect and reject the botto…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:47 AM
2

I am no longer a slim 20 5’5 something girl (I’m now a 30’s heavily pregnant and when not pregnant curvy/fit 5’5 woman) However when I was this is what I wanted (and ended up getting) As tall as me or taller but yes preference to taller though it wasn’t a rule, good income/income Potential (more strict as I was mid-late twenty something) , preferred college educated but trade was fine too, handsome to me, enjoyed being active so we could hike, social and loved drinking and having fun, politicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:35 AM
1

Having zero standards is a rejectable offence you are here trying to argue that regardless of who is put in front of you, that you would not reject them. That’s sad and desperate and actually hurts your chances more than if you had some genuine standards and self respect .
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:30 AM
0

The fact you think there aren’t women in that same position shows your bias. There are women who are the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:24 AM
0

Men would have the same thing and option to find a woman who likes you but you don’t like back. It’s not a real option. If you go to a poor community and find a rock bottom homeless woman and offered her a relationship or courted her I’m sure you could find someone. Denying it is pointless but it’s the same example you are using. That’s not how relationships work ships work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 05:22 AM
0

Even thinking like that is just sad. There are lots of women who can’t find partners just like men. Your also not the ugliest person whose ever existed I don’t even need to see a photo to know this is not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 04:57 AM
1

Those are not even remotely related. A paternity test request from a husband involves doubting someone you’ve already built trust up. Doubting stranger men to get into relationships with due to fear of potential violence there is no bank of trust and history.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/26 04:46 AM
1

Being really unattractive and not wanting to compromise on your own standards works both ways (so ugly women can have that same reason) and yeah would ge really hard of that’s why you are single. Most people aren’t really ugly despite claiming to be lots of body dysmorphia out there but if you really are very ugly then that sucks and I know it would be quite the challenge and disadvantage since really it’s uncommon to be very ugly. The only thing I could say is keep trying to meet people platoni…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 05:37 PM
3

You reallly aren’t making sense today, perfect victim again what are you on about. We’ve spoken before and I would not count you as a decent guy based on how bitter you claim you’ve become, maybe once you were and then maybe it would have just been one of the three options of any a decent guy didn’t have a partner (none of which makes someone a perfect victim though) but now I would be convinced in addition to your original problem there is the bitterness and negativity compounding the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 09:06 AM
1

If that was your point you did not express it even remotely clearly. I also call bs because when I see men lamenting about lack of options on threads not dedicated to manosphere, pill or incel discussions people are a lot more empathetic and curious. On the contrary, posts on pill, incel or manosphere sites do get less empathy largely because of the overall message those places tend to put out which does often contradict the “decent guy” claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:38 AM
1

What are you even on about? Lots of women are shallow just like men. That does not negate anything I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 08:29 AM
3

I think decent men generally end up With someone though is what most people believe. And while there are decent men who likely don’t find a partner there likely is a reason - either he’s not as decent as he thinks, he’s very unattractive and doesn’t want to compromise on his own standards (fair enough) or if he’s average looking he’s also not wanting to Compromise on his standards. So when people are questioning why this decent man is single they are trying to figure it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:38 AM
1

I did stop that’s exactly what I said. That’s what those breaks are and I did rather have no matches until I could deal with it all again. And in those breaks I filled my cup with friends and work. I didn’t say men have it better just that it’s not easy for women despite what men here claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 01:49 AM
2

It only that but “used within the last year” do you know how many breaks women take from OLD from the fatigue it gives. We might be on there for a month or so and not delete a profile but delete the app for 3 months and then do it again. (At least that’s what I did frequently over the period of 2 years I used apps)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:00 PM
1

It wasn’t easy. There were 7 bad first dates, countless heys, lots of unrealised plans and ghostings, countless energy sucks and disappointments and breaks in between. I get that if you have no matches it might seem better but it was exhausting. Everyone I swiped right on was basically a match so I would then need to filter down more otherwise was too much time. So I used job/career as a next filter if it was something I was interested in and we could connect over then great.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 05:52 PM
1

I met my husband on a dating app (hinge) about 6 years ago. Yes I was filtering for personality but was also filtering for looks and income. Took 2 years of frustration and probably 8 dates to meet my partner. Of all those guys they were of various attraction but yes were attractive enough as I swiped on them initially, not all met the career field/income filter i had set internally (be college graduated or in college and at least be working towards a field that has good earning potential) and w…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 07:48 PM
2

Nothing is necessary to disclose that you don’t want to (barring infectious disease information)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 01:34 AM
2

It’s extremely irrational but I like babies on flights as done part of me is praying the universe watches over the flight a little extra because of them. I hate flying lol and have to do all sorts of mental prep and calming thoughts during it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 05:13 AM
4

It’s not self defeating to not want to be in a relationship ship if it’s isn’t better than being single. This reads like someone whose never been in a bad relationship, and whose never enjoyed being single. Yes being in a happy and good relationship is better than being single, but if it’s not happy and good it’s really not. You need to compromise yes absolutely but to an extent you can’t be compromising on everything otherwise you will never feel truly satisfied. As much as satisfaction is part…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 05:15 AM
11

Mmm I think it’s part hyperbole - as humans we all kind of need each other, but I think the sentiment is more that we don’t need a man to be happy or have a full life since we can provide for ourselves, have a social life with friends and have hobbies and stuff. What I don’t think it means is that we don’t want a man to compliment and share our lives with, it’s just that (for the smart ones) we can now take our time to be discerning and pickier about who we share our lives with. So it’s a statem…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 02:18 AM
1

Yes that’s true. However even in the cases of emotional abuse similar to men (or any severe physical abuse which is obvious) someone who has undergone severe mental abuse there is generally going to be more evidence as well as you pointed out text messages etc. so it would also be judged based on severity and case by case.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 09:06 PM
1

It’s not equivalent though because the point was in the legal system The judges and jurors are making judgements - physicality is something visual in a way emotional intelligence isn’t. If it was a boxer woman who beat a scrawny man then I’m sure she would be judged harsher than other females. It does not stand to reason that all women would be judged harsher for potential capacity of emotional intelligence when it’s something that isn’t able to be judged by looks. Again lots of women are emotio…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:40 PM
1

Society agrees physical abuse is more sinister when done by a stronger person.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 08:11 PM
1

We already hold women to that same standard- when a woman hurts a child or another woman punishment is going to be greater because she should know. And because emotional intelligence isn’t consistent amongst women. Being emotionally intelligent also generally prevents people from abusing others because truly emotionally intelligent people would leave situations that are toxic vs emotionally unintelligent people staying. You are making false equivalences.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:55 PM
4

I also think it’s important to point out you don’t need to be emotionally intelligent to be emotionally abusive. That’s another nuanced point we have missed which would render the entire premise moot. I think it could be more sinister when done by emotionally intelligent people but certainly not a requirement. Emotional abuse isn’t punished consistently or regularly regardless of it being illegal. No they shouldn’t because again emotional intelligence isn’t a precursor for emotional abuse. Look …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 07:06 PM
4

I don’t think we have any concrete proof women are more emotionally intellect than men, I think we can talk about averages but it’s all a pretty subjective field. I personally believe on average women would be more emotionally intelligent however that’s not a rule as there are lots of emotionally unintelligent women and lots of emotionally intelligent men. I think since it’s less provable than a man’s physical strength against a woman I wouldn’t feel comfortable assigning people boxes like that …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:46 PM
3

That 70 % was out of 12% though since 24% of relationship experience violence, 12% being reciprocal, meaning 12% non reciprocal so the 70% sounds larger but it’s already a minority and as you e covered people sweep female violence under rug as it’s not really feared since on average females aren’t really strong enough to hurt a man without some kind of weapon. Those next stats you cite about severe abuse don’t imply from a woman. Men abuse men commonly. Jumping down to humanising people based on…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:31 PM
1

I agree that mental trauma will Last longer than physical pain however I think the mental trauma is going to be greater in cases where there was also physical pain. I think yes the definitions can be the same because if a woman is mentally abusing a man she should be called an abuser regardless if she is physically abusing her partner or not. I think punishments rather than be viewed as discriminatory should be looked at as an outcome based process as I think they do as you said severity is exam…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:04 PM
-2

I think it’s important to acknowledge female violence but I disagree that in terms of outcomes it’s just as bad if no one is afraid of female violence because the outcome is so low it’s swept under the rug whereas male violence the outcomes are devastating due to male strength. So I don’t think you could apply the definition or even a punishment equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:41 PM
2

First two words. A lot. Not all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 06:00 PM
11

A lot of housewife’s don’t have personalities especially SAHM. Their whole personality becomes being a mom or a house wife. Ironically many men don’t filter for personality like women do so don’t seem to care. Women do care and don’t really want a stay at home partner (on average as there are unicorns out there but as you said in a different comment, this conversation isn’t about them). Your chance to shine is there. You likely need to go to school or gain employment to get it though. A broke ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 06:23 AM
15

How would it be pleasant? By not being a dickhead/ being ‘nice’? That’s not a personality. Personality comes from experiences, goals, passions mixed in with your base line ability on how you connect with people. If you are a meet you are more than likely lacking experiences, goals and passions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 06:08 AM
5

I don’t buy this either there enough women even here who say we wouldn’t accept a man earning a low income- I’m one. I also wouldn’t like regular or heavy video game use but occasional is fine
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 05:15 AM
1

True so maybe it’s just the make dr who was really not as caring and gentle as he could be. That was way worse than the pap anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:00 PM
1

I’m in australia. Personally I’ve been “hurt” twice by medical professionals one was a woman dr and the other was a male dr. The male dr hurt me more than the female dr (female performed a very thorough pap sneak and I felt the scraping of my cervix to be uncomfortable, the male dr “treated” spontaneous expulsion of an IUD after 6 weeks I felt it coming out which is akin to early labor pain, the male dr didn’t believe me, rolled his eyes told me to lay down and he would take a look, proceeded to…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 07:46 PM
2

I know someone who burned their esophagus and stomach lining they couldn’t handle spicy after that was dangerous for them Go see a dr if you haven’t already
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 06:50 AM
0

Well I’m sure it would be difficult but if being bitter is going to make it worse overall then you gotta do everything to prevent that. So seeing friends doing hobbies traveling etc. “I’ve been focusing on work and meeting people and going out but haven’t clicked with anyone I wanted a relationship with for awhile”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 05:32 AM
1

That’s up to you but what’s the alternative? Becoming bitter/negative about it will only make it harder, giving up will not lead to sex so if waiting has the same outcome with the best chances seems to make the most sense. Some people just don’t find their partners till later, you’ve at least got some experience so when you do meet people you aren’t having that hurdle of explaining why you have none.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 07:43 PM
1

Yes exactly. Never been a time where such an extensive list of sex toys are available too, highly recommend being open to being familiar with and using them too. Good luck friend. I admire your willingness to be open about it even on an anonymous site lot of people out there wouldn’t have that courage or confidence
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 10:08 AM
–

Honestly more guys should go to the bathroom sitting down as it would make less of a mess but yeah I know that’s not helpful when it’s different to the mainstream experience. I’m sure you have heard it before but since your 21 I imagine it would be hard to image it’s true but there are lots of women out there who will not care to the extent you might fear if you are enthusiastic and willing to be an active sex partner in other ways to penetration. Absolutely not discrediting how much more diffic…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 08:34 AM
–

I worked at a health clinic that dealt with mainly men experiencing ED, PE and low testosterone - while not exactly the same thing I would have in depth conversations with the guys on how it’s impacted them and their relationships (or lack of) so I have a reasonably good idea. I hope you know your penis doesn’t define your worth as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 08:23 AM
–

I’m sorry that would be really hard to deal with I’m sure
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 07:57 AM
–

Yeah it’s easier said than done but if you aren’t confident it is painfully obvious and usually hard to be around if it translates into insecurity which is tends to.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 07:55 AM
1

Better to wait for a compatible partner than accept a bad relationship. I think as most people get older we are less interested in time waste hookups anyway. I think for the majority of people it’s a young college person game. If god forbid I ever ended up single again I certainly wouldn’t be doing hookups anymore. Maybe cause I have kids now though idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 05:03 AM
–

Absolutely. I love seeing the male glow up subreddits where the guys do exactly that, or even r/bald where they go from losing hair and balding to hottie. But the glow ups are good shows guys losing weight, changing hair etc and becoming hot. Height matters a lot more on dating apps as an initial filter to pass vs in person. If you only are trying to meet people Online it will be harder. If you have a social life it won’t be as hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 11:19 PM
1

Because you might not be able to? You could be at his house and he might have driven you? You would be somewhere excluded on a hike? Even if you did run do you realistically think that most women are out running most men? I think maybe you are being willfully ignorant now
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:25 PM
1

Men are physically capable of overpowering women without weapons and from any position. You aren’t getting that it can be a physical threat without a weapon and without anything specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:16 PM
3

Because not everyone is mentally capable of saying no 100x especially to someone who is capable of physically overpowering you anyway, like if they are shitty enough to be asking enough and not accepting a no that you would consider it verbal coercion then that person is likely capable of intentionally “punishing” the person saying no in some way and due many women if they are feeling afraid their fight or flight or freeze may make them freeze and just accept it while dying inside
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:12 PM
–

If you can get relationships you are in a better place than many of the guys here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:44 PM
1

Seeing as conviction rate is already so low and that yes it largely comes down to he said she said I think it’s even more a reason to test the kits immediately for both parties accused/acccuser to have access to a fair trial and ha I g all evidence considered. I think it’s terrible how many women won’t even come forward when raped because of how hard it is to Prove but it’s also horrible for someone to be convicted of something they didn’t do so there needs to be some better balance found.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 08:22 PM
1

Are you saying that rape lots being tested would actually help keep more men from being convicted of rape? Big if true because so few men are currently actually convicted. If all rape kits could be tested immediately I’m sure some kind of data base could be added to that would help prevent future crimes or link rapists to past crimes / people with dna in the system.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 08:00 PM
1

I wonder why
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:45 PM
1

What doesnt make sense
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:43 PM
0

Those guys don’t need to but also they don’t feel insecure when waiting since they know they could have sex at any point with a different woman so if he likes you he waits. These are the only guys I seriously dated.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:42 PM
–

usually when in a hookup phase it’s because you are young and the guys are generally young too neither too fussed about a relationship. When looking for a relationship again you are generally prioritising other traits so while you need to be attracted it’s also not as important as when hooking up
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 06:41 PM
1

Because there is no shortage of people Wanting to Adopt babies. Also women can not just adopt out babies without getting fathers consent. Adoption agencies actually put effort into finding the father. And if the woman lies about it she can be held accountable and the adoption can be reversed if the father wants rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 07:24 PM
2

I think it actually has to be past a certain point - just like a woman trying to attain an abortion after a certain point would be illegal in most places
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 07:19 PM
2

The op wasn’t about male children being raped it is about if consent to sex is consent to parenthood and most women including myself fave our opinion on this and you are trying to say I am off topic? Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 11:42 AM
4

Great are you fighting for it or just asking other people if they are? I would think It’s a weird question if you aren’t directly fighting beyond voting like most people. Most people aren’t protestors or advocates or writing their representative etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 11:40 AM
3

I asked multiple questions. Laws regarding charging rape. It’s extremely hard to prove barring minors and adults. It could be something even as simple as mandating rape kits be tested immediately rather than sitting untested for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 11:34 AM
2

Are you helping to fight the law for women to have their rape cases more easily proved? Or is it only in the case of male children and presumably teachers being rapists that you care about? I’m not one to do any fighting beyond voting at elections. What have you done? One thing I will do though is if discussing a case where a male rape victim (proven so yes a child would count since you are right a child Can never consent in those cases) is the father of a pregnancy and if For some reason child …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 11:22 AM
3

Financially women need to be able to afford that process, and yes there should be income barriers for that but making it illegal would be hard since income can change.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 11:00 AM
2

Doesn’t relive the fact you are advocating for removing the rights of the most vulnerable. Luckily most people don’t actually agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 08:03 AM
6

Exactly. Just recently an article about a republican woman being denied health care because she was pregnant with an unviable fetus was complaining she nearly died for lack of access to care “this isn’t what I voted for” yes it is lady. But of course “the only abortion that’s needed is my abortion” right everyone else can fuck themselves and deal with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:35 AM
2

Except that takes away the child’s rights to financial support from both parents which if available society demands to prevent society picking up the economic tab.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:33 AM
3

How does paying slightly more make up for the health risks?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:25 AM
10

In proven cases yes. Just like in proven cases in pro life states there are some exceptions for abortion. The hard thing is proving it as we all know.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:24 AM
2

That’s currently the established difference between pro life and pro choice people.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:23 AM
4

The child has rights too beyond the mother’s autonomy. You say you don’t want to take away a woman’s right to self autonomy but what you actually mean is you are happy to take away the child’s right.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:22 AM
1

Likely a response to the more extreme states in the opposite direction. Really everyone should be mire balanced.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 04:04 AM
4

Proving rape is very hard unfortunately as we know. I would say in proven cases men absolutely should not have to pay and should terminate his obligations.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 02:02 AM
4

I would be ok with bans there on that limit (as a dual us citizen) provided exceptions for mothers life, permanent serious disability in child or if the child is suffering rare medical condition (all exceptions available here too)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 01:14 AM
5

I’ll never agree they should be able too
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:46 AM
1

I didn’t make the op nor do I think most men are incapable of being worse at something (except maybe most ppd men). I was just commenting on your comment as it wasn’t consistent with the thread
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:30 AM
2

Where did lots come in? It was about preventing newborns being thrown in dumpsters. Men can currently choose to throw their newborns in a dumpster or take to a safe haven drop box just like the woman can. There is no inconsistency. It’s about preventing easy deaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:29 AM
7

The question was do things better than the man vs just doing things too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:26 AM
7

Men do abandon their children everyday already.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:25 AM
4

No. They are good because it prevents easily preventable deaths, especially when those newborns can easily be adopted out to parents who will love and care for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:25 AM
2

Most do. As do most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:19 AM
4

Who do you think is using safe haven laws? It’s people in crisis. Drug addicts, dv victims, college students, impoverished people. These laws exsist to stop them from murdering the infant. Normal people aren’t dropping off children in boxes and the amount of children places in these boxes is minuscule: in the USA from 2000-2025 426 babies left. So really even trying to use this as a gotcha is already such an outlier and nonsense. Do you think only 426 babies in 25 years would be abandoned by men…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:19 AM
5

Prior to safe haven laws babies were being thrown in dumpsters and gutters with their placentas still attached. Pregnant Women are already most at risk of being murdered by their partners - and laws exsist to try and reduce this so yes there are laws to prevent men from murdering their children. Men also already can access safe haven boxes if they have primary care of the newborn.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 12:12 AM
3

What are you even on about you clearly can’t read, Childs rights supercede parents rights ergo financial support None of my arguments are polite because pro lifers don’t care about bodily autonomy which is literally the basis for pro choice and which I’ve mentioned liked 10+ times Just don’t even respond because we aren’t getting anywhere clearly neither of us are going to agree with each other which is fine! I’m just grateful that most of society tends to err on the side of agreeing with bodily…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:57 PM
3

My very original comment addressed this. Once a child is born that child’s rights supercede the parents and society doesn’t want to pay for people’s children’s via welfare: paying for hospital costs doesn’t remove the child’s right to funds nor would it remove the burden to society. Op making a post asking if sex is consent to parenthood and asking people not to actually bring up it’s consent to pregnancy doesn’t work in the world where pregnancy and parenthood are two separate events one of whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:41 PM
2

You not understanding biology and bodily autonomy doesn’t make you somehow right. I’m not going to keep going in circles with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:36 PM
3

I e already answered consent to sex is not consent to parenthood it’s consent to pregnancy. You not liking the fact women get an additional step at pregnancy due to biology and bodily autonomy doesn’t ease it nor does it make it hypocrisy. It makes your logic false you are trying to equate pregnancy with parenthood but it’s not. They are entirely different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:33 PM
2

It’s not hypocrisy as I’ve already gone through. You believing it is hypocrisy doesn’t make it so.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:29 PM
5

That point where someone can confidently write a post like ooo there is no comment that would change their mind. Let’s be real.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:28 PM
3

The father doesn’t get the same opportunity at the same stages because his body bears no risk in pregnancy or childhood. You seem to not be able to uncouple the fact a pregnancy and a birth are two separate events and pregnancy deals with autonomy which is why women can stop a pregnancy but at a birth there is now a new human whose right supersede both parents and both are responsible. Consent to parenthood is irrelevant until a child is born, consent to pregnancy is what both parties are riskin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:27 PM
2

It’s consent to pregnancy. They have both at that point consented. Adults understand that only a pregnant person has a say in that pregnancy continuing. Men and women need to make their choices based on that. So no it’s not consent to parenthood immediately however if a pregnancy results in childbirth then at that point it becomes consent to parenthood unless the child is surrendered. You can’t argue black and white in matters like this it’s not how it works and thankfully most the world things …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:21 PM
4

I’ve addressed it. Consent to sec is consent to pregnancy. You not liking that doesn’t change it. You not liking that once a person is pregnant the choice of what to do with the pregnancy falls to the pregnant person due to autonomy also doesn’t change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:17 PM
2

Men already have equal reproductive rights. Men can use contraceptives, men can choose who they have sex with, men can have abortions if their body’s are pregnant, men can use safe haven box if they have the newborn in their care. It’s men who want additional rights in being able to abandon born children. And if you say men can’t get pregnancy, congratulations you’ve found why bodily autonomy for women in pregnancy is such a big deal since men don’t bear any of the risk or responsibility of preg…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:15 PM
3

It’s not a strawman at all. Pro choice is about bodily autonomy. I wouldn’t force a woman to go through a pregnancy which can be life altering and threatening same as childbirth birth just like I wouldn’t force a man to give up a kidney for someone who is a match if that’s not what he wants to do. Adoption doesn’t remove the risk or the fact bodily autonomy was potentially taken away or refused. Until pregnancy and childbirth bears no risk to women my stance won’t change. There’s nuance here too…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:11 PM
2

I agree. In Australia here is 12 weeks. I was surprised to learn that a few states don’t have such limits on abortion however thankfully the reality is that most people are not sick in the head and if an abortion is going to be undertaken the sooner the better, and late abortions are really only performed in extreme circumstances such as threat to life of mother or the child will die regardless and it’s more humane that way. While the potential to be abused remains again stats show that late abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:08 PM
5

Consent to sex is consent to the risk of pregnancy. There’s steps to mitigate this (contraception) but the risk and consent there is present regardless. The only difference once pregnancy becomes a reality is women and men due to body autonomy laws have differences in the outcome of that pregnancy (women can terminate since it’s their bodies undergoing, men do not have to make that choice since their body autonomy was never in question) Like all men here you seem to lack nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:05 PM
3

It’s biology, until Men bear the burden of giving birth women will Always have more access to the newborn. Women can not use safe haven laws at anytime - typically there is an age limit of 60-90 days and beyond that it’s child abandonment which is punishable. Let’s also be real here that most babies surrendered to safe haven do not have wanting and loving fathers being hidden from them. It’s typically women in crisis, dv situations, drug addicts, college students or extremely impoverished people…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 11:03 PM
4

This is actually a well written comment that I agree with, there are gendered differences in how the issue is viewed and what values are held. Generally women seem to value children more than individual choice and of course bodily autonomy ;which we also support for men as if anyone tried to force men to donate or use their organs such as kidneys for someone else without their consent women would be against that as well. Men value their individual choice which means they would be happy with bear…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 10:53 PM
8

Using “so x can c” or “so you think x” shows awful debate skills and logical fallacy as you can’t make a point without inferring completely different points to what the previous comment was talking about. Good job bilbo keep it up if it make you feel better
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 10:42 PM
6

Absolutely all this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 10:32 PM
15

Kids not babies. The foster system also aims for reunification as a first priority too just so you know so it’s not like an orphanage.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 09:42 PM
2

Men have the same opportunity as women do if they have a new born infant they can also drop it at a safe haven box. It’s not an opt out of parenthood though it’s literally designed to stop infants being thrown away in dumpsters like used to happen a lot. Regardless of what you think women would or wouldn’t do if men could walk away what you are suggesting puts all the responsibility on women. Responsibility of choosing adequate sex partner (risk it with those guys as you say), responsibility and…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 09:41 PM
4

Usually babies are adopted out quite quickly since they are the only children really in demand. Once adopted all financial burden goes to the new parents. And yes until said infant is adopted she should have to contribute to its costs similar to child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 09:33 PM
8

No way would I oppose it the law exists to prevent infant murder. I do think once a child is surrendered a huge amount of effort should be used to find mother (to find and identify father) so he can have a choice at that point too and if he wants the child then the woman is forced to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 09:16 PM
8

They do - you can’t just abandon your child however you want, if you put it in a trashcan for example you will be charged. It’s right to be left in very specific circumstances supersedes your right to walk away with no repricussions. Again society made these laws to protect the most vulnerable. It’s also only allowed for babies you can’t take a 5 year old to a safe haven drop box, and even giving it up for adoption only really works as a baby, we don’t really have orphanages for older kids these…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 08:57 PM
44

The reality is once a child is born its rights supersede sins of its parents rights - this is necessary as a society to protect our most vulnerable and as a society we decided that despite the social welfare we have in various countries the cost would be too great for a large amount of children to be financially raised by society which would undoubtedly happen if all parents had the choice to give up financial responsibility. Men would be the parents who give up their burden for a born child mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 08:16 PM
1

According to men here all average women have been pumped and dumped by chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 07:38 PM
1

There is no improving against the ghost of Chad who lives so vivaciously in many men’s figments of imagination.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 05:45 AM
0

Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 05:42 AM
3

It really doesn’t. You can be enthusiastic in everything you want to engage in and still say no to other things you are no longer willing such as anal because you didn’t like it and have no desire to find out if you would like it again. Again you sounding pretty rapey here. Men do not offer everything, I don’t see men lining up to let their girl friends peg their ass get real. Someone needs to learn about enthusiastic consent and coercion. Someone can reluctantly agree due to being coerced one w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 12:57 AM
3

I don’t think trying it once means you need to be trying it again at all. If a man let one woman out a finger in his ass and he learned he didn’t like it him saying no to any other partner who suggests it is a complete and reasonable sentence. Men are ridiculous thinking things need to be offered exactly the same for every partner. It’s abusive thinking. Reluctantly is not enthusiastic. I would never want to do something sexually with someone who has reluctantly agreed to something with me. How …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 12:35 AM
5

A lot of women will try things like anal reluctantly regardless if it’s “Chad”. Especially when you get some feelnmore pressure to perform a certain way to be liked. Once she knows something is painful or not enjoyable or gross to her she feels more confident in saying no. It usually has nothing to do with enthusiasm or which partner is asking just that she now knows what she likes and does not like. Also just because you CAN like something with some partners doesn’t mean you should be pressured…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 11:26 PM
16

If you feel your intimacy within a relationship isn’t satisfactory you can leave. Wondering if she would be more into something if you were hotter is just insecurity. Even if it was true you are an individual and comparing yourself to others is harmful, the only standard should be if you are satisfied - if yes great if no leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 08:23 PM
12

A commenter discussed how libido is not at the same level throughout the whole relationship and that’s also true. In the beginning honeymoon phase both people usually want more sex than normal. In long term relationships things slow down just naturally; but if it is too slow to a dead bedroom and nothing wrong if you can’t live with it you can leave. Lots of men are the lower libido partner too in relationships this isn’t a gendered problem. You need to decide if the relationship is worth it at …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 05:15 AM
27

Because it’s very common for men to be horny and not really looks at what’s happening in or around the relationships that could have changed sex frequency. In so Many of those stories you see comments from guys having the discussions and they will say something like “yeah we just had a baby 2 months ago” or something else that would show he’s an idiot. There is no advice beyond look at what happening, is she sick tired etc if so fuck off and help her get better, help around the place or go mastu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 04:38 AM
40

She should absolutely be enthusiastic when she has sex with her partner. The only issue I could see arising here in discussions is if a woman’s enthusiasm isn’t enough for her partner if it’s not what he wants or if she says she tried something in the past and she didn’t like to (hello anal) and now he’s salty she won’t do it with him despite her explicitly saying she doesn’t like something. In general if you aren’t having good sex with a partner there is something wrong barring illness, pregnan…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 12:38 AM
–

A. B people are gross the ratio on side fries is disgustingly high and all the ones under those top ones get no sauce
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 09:49 PM
1

There’s a lot more ways to show someone they are the hottest beyond speed you sleep with them. Some of those things can occur during sex when it happens. For example, there are things I do happily and ask for with husband sexually that I would never have done with anyone else because I didn’t have the same attraction or feelings for them. I don’t care if you will ever think it’s possible but I don’t appreciate being called a liar.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:07 PM
1

Wrong, you go by action l - singular. You have zero idea of the actions people display with hookups and with relationship partner, you don’t see or live the difference in the courtship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:46 PM
3

Absolutely. I’m going to copy a part of a comment I wrote else where in pod that is relevant to this as we errr talking about the same thing (as you do on ppd). It’s in reference to the men who would hold that insecurity. They would be incapable of having a healthy relationship if they ever got one because even if they really were the hottest guy a woman has been with those internal insecurities are only muted for that temporary moment, something else is going to come up that drags him right bac…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:43 PM
7

Depends for me. Why does he earn less is he working part time while he studies? Has he left a good job to pursue a business idea? Is he a in an entry level position abut has good growth projection? Sure all of these are a fine. Is he just satisfied in a low paying field and no desire to move into higher paid work? No probably not if I was 26 again and looking for a partner to build a family with. Has he made good investments and is not pulling back on work to enjoy his time more or move into a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 01:51 AM
1

Fair enough it’s just a trend but certainly not true for everyone. There’s a bit of research on it though and it’s quite interesting imo. People tend to trust people who look similar to them quicker and perceive them as kinder and more attractive due to internal bias ( for most of us we love ourselves so someone looking like us we able to see in a better light much quicker than someone who might look nothing like us)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 01:34 AM
1

Yes in long term relationships it’s generally similar attractiveness and we’ve already covered and agreed why being insecure about a past hookup/short term relationship is silly. It would be harder if you have more unique features or a collection of them but none of those are that rare. Though it’s surprising if you’ve never been with someone who has at least one similar future it could be jaw structure/ eye brows or even eye distance there’s usually something there. My husband for example is mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 12:28 AM
–

Agree how you are treated should be the standard that you judge someone as a partner. You can’t fake respect, love and attraction and admiration within a relationship long term. Look at Melanias face every time she is near trump lol. She’s not better but the ick is clearly readable despite their billionaire status’s. Just like when men try to do the gotcha to women here about how would you feel if he took an ex to expensive dates but not you and women respond that doesn’t matter because if I wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 12:04 AM
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Regardless if you hold The insecurity or not, these men clearly do and it’s just ridiculous. They would be incapable of having a healthy relationship if they ever got one because even if they really were the hottest guy a woman has been with those internal insecurities are only muted for that temporary moment, something else is going to come up that drags him right back to that place. Maybe it’s a guy friend she has, a job promotion, maybe she looks too happy when talking about how great a frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:48 PM
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Amazing you can confidently say what I believe. Your mansplaining is going to keep you lonely. Believe what you want doesn’t make a difference for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:33 PM
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And what’s the point there? That men are insecure that he’s not the hottest she’s been with? If she’s attracted to you physically then she’s attracted. You don’t need to be the hottest to be her best of favourite. I’ve been more heartbroken over guys who would not be considered as hot as some of the other guys I’ve had sex with as hookups who I literally couldn’t stand and never spared a second thought (beyond context of these ppd conversations). The difference was the whole Package the comparab…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 11:32 PM
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lol. My husband is literally the hottest guy I’ve ever been with physically, and intellectually.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:58 PM
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Where is “here”? That is unrealistic advice. More realistic if she said get a closer friend to put out feelers to more distant friend or invite a more distant friend for a hangout to see how you guys get on one on one
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:38 PM
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Yuck. Good job on finding the outlier but most women are not like that I could not stomach living or having sex with someone I couldn’t stand physically. I don’t know anyone who could. * At least for non arranged marriages in west *
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:06 PM
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Wring. I’ve had hookups with hot meat heads who literally had nothing in their head beyond gym and protein powder. Bad sex, worse conversation, goodbye boy please never hit me up again. I’ve had hookups with guys who are hot with good sex but they just aren’t compatible with values hobbies experiences etc so would never want to spend an actually day with them if we weren’t having sex. Women get in relationships with men we want to hang around with in and out of the bedroom. Waiting because you l…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 09:49 PM
1

I agree they wouldn’t have made good relationship prospects now however because we had slept together it hurt at the time. If I had vetted through not sleeping I would have achieved the same outcome without the hurt. I fully believe it’s much better to not sleep with someone you are interested in. There’s a lot of time for sex, no reason to open yourself up to being hurt emotionally or physically (because as a woman we are already more prone to getting stis, and sex is more vulnerable for us). I…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 07:56 PM
1

I did want more, they were attractive, good jobs and their stories on Instagram made them look fun so I was interested in more than just a hookup. We met up with the intention for a hookup and we did and that was that there wasn’t much hanging out after or anything to actually get to know each other and it just fizzled out after that. I know one guy was not thrilled I made him use a condom (brought them myself) but like it’s a hookup idk what you expect and the other we met up once more but then…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 09:35 AM
1

It’s not - you can’t even point out where it says he has to wait absurd amount of time. It’s you adding that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:50 AM
1

That’s exactly when I quoted from. Why don’t you quote where it says she is making him wait some absurd amount of time? No where does it explicitly say a situation where the guy being told he’s husband material not hookup material is there a stipulation that the guy is being made to wait absurd times. My comment was that these guys are often waiting 1-2 months, 4-8 dates which is not even that long.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:41 AM
7

Everyone will face rejection, you can not be given a “yes” by everyone you ever pursue (unless you are freakishly successful, beautiful, blessed and a great personality). It’s not a challenge to your masculinity to be rejected. It means that one particular person does not like you romantically. Move on. Yes if you are rejected repeatedly it’s going to hurt, at that point you need to recognise something needs recalibrating either the vibes you put out, your personality, your presentation or maybe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:37 AM
1

The post literally says “we want you to tell us how much you want to rip Our clothes off when you first meet us” so it’s you changing the subject/ moving goal posts.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 03:33 AM
1

The situation stated was not about 6 months. It’s such a minority it’s not worth having a thread over. It’s also disingenuous to pretend that’s what this is about when guys here are salty if a woman wouldn’t have sex as soon as they would with a hookup aka immediately or close enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:39 AM
2

I doubt you are waiting so long that he has to tick each of those boxes. Seriously most people who are waiting for sex aren’t waiting crazy numbers - yes you hear stories of women with absurdly long time frames like 6 months but they are minority. Usually waiting for sex is like a month or two which could be like 4-8 dates depending on frequency you guys are seeing each other. And the dating process should be mutual. Sure most guys pay for first few dates but she should also be reciprocating inv…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:30 AM
1

A woman wouldn’t do those things for a hookup though either it’s mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:25 AM
1

I feel like women only say that to a male friend who is asking for feedback on why a certain girl wasn’t in to him and the girl wasn’t in a mature enough spot to want a relationship and she was likely hotter than the guy to start with so it might have been a ‘nice’ way of telling that to her friend. I would never tell any guy he’s husband material unless it was as a genuine Compliment to someone who I was already sleeping with and very attracted to and he asked some specific question where that …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 01:57 AM
2

I think it also would depend on the desirability of both people though to be fair: like I would consider 26 year old me and 27 year old husband (at the time) to both be above average in terms of face and body at the time. So I generally had pretty high standards to accept a date anyway (we met on hinge so was only swiping on guys I found hot anyway and was more likely to actually meet up if the guy was in the higher end of hot to me). If we were both closer to average then I’m sure both our stan…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 01:15 AM
2

Yes. None of my relationships were with people I didn’t find hot at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:49 AM
0

The presumption is you are on a date and the date is going Very well. I remember my first date with my husband intense physical attraction, amazing conversation, so much in common, didn’t want the date to end at all (so it didn’t I went back to his for more drinks and even slept over because i was so drunk and it was very late) but still refrained from having sex. We waited for a few weeks before actually having sex and each date we really were having an absolute ball. When we finally had sex it…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:36 AM
2

Because for a lot of women if we actually like your personality we won’t want to have sex immediately because we want to get to know you better, establish a genuine connection so that when we do have sex it’s more meaningful vs casual sex where it’s not going to be meaningful and no emotions/feelings are going to be involved beyond your hot let’s bang. If a guy isn’t able to have casual sex in his past he feels bitter that women can so won’t like that he isn’t being “chosen” for casual sex based…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:04 AM
4

If you only want sex you only looking for physical attraction why would a personality matter if you are only having sex and not seeing them again. If you are having a relationship you want to enjoy having the person around even when you aren’t having sex. So it’s actually a higher standard it’s just that the level of hotness doesn’t need to be exactly the same as long as you are still actually attracted to the guy. Best of both worlds though is very hot guy with great personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:45 PM
2

Idk if I fully agree with this. I think men feel a lot more validated when their sexual partner is very into it (think starfish sex vs enthusiastic blowjobs without having had to ask, women suggesting different fun positions and taking an active lead because she is genuinely having fun) the latter would be a lot more validating for a man than the former.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:21 PM
1

You aren’t reading. We didn’t GET to connect intellectually because it was just sex. You keep on vetting and do what’s right for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:00 PM
1

It’s not a myth. It doesn’t mean you bond to everyone you have sex with. Yes I did have casual sex. Quite a bit. There were about 3 guys I wanted for more than sex but still hooked up with and it stayed as just sex we didn’t really actually connect intellectually since it was all about sex. The rest of my hookups I didn’t actually like so sex wasn’t going to bond us regardless. The thing is if you actually like someone because you’ve spent time with them and then you have sex quickly and it does…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:54 PM
1

You can absolutely feel used for sex even if you enjoy it and it was consensual. If you wanted more than sex but all you got was sex it wasn’t a good deal because you end up hurt. It’s a way of protecting yourself from your own feelings. It’s not about sex being a reward it’s about it being a way of bonding with someone and why would you wanna bond with someone if they aren’t actually looking to stick around beyond sex a few times. You can think it’s dumb all you want but for women we are the on…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:51 PM
1

It only really matters if you sleep with them which I’m saying you shouldn’t if you actually like them. If you sleep with them and they filter themselves out you feel gross and regret and often sad. If they filter out before then maybe disappointing for a second but overall no big deal. And if they are happy to wait and stick around and build a connection then great you will more likely have a relationship from It anyway. There is literally no downside to not having immediate sex with someone yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:56 PM
8

I would amend this to A. Good sex is validating for everyone B. Sex is just more validating for men. It’s not validating for a woman when we have bad sex, even if the guy was really enthusiastic if it’s was extremely short or if he doesn’t know what to do or doesn’t like touching you and giving you an orgasm it actually feels invalidating and dehumanising because it can feel more like you were used, you are unimportant or on the extreme side of things you were a means to an end.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:38 PM
8

You keep saying this. It doesn’t make hooking up Emotional.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:29 PM
1

No but I wouldn’t want to have sex with that kind of guy either. They filter themselves out. I could walk away easier with no sex after a couple months than with sex. Women can bind harder physically in the beginning than men. You are wrong about what men think about women who sleep too early. Until you sleep and date men you only speak for yourself
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:21 PM
1

Your past comments are all bitching and moaning about her seeing as my past 5 notifications are all from you complaining or talking about her in some way. She’s also one woman, in a place far outnumbered by men. Men in general here are still complaining far more than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:50 AM
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Seems your whole post was a thinly veiled way of trying to prevent that user from poster. My comment remains her threads are general responses to the make posts and comments which far outnumber women’s post in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:45 AM
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I think it is naive because places like this thrive on rage for engagement. If I were single and young it would likely enrage me seeing the takes men here have on women. I have protective factors of having had lots of relationships so knowing men aren’t like what is represented here, age (31) and marriage (again knowing men aren’t all like what’s here and seeing the absolute best in a partner). It would make me bitter thinking men aren’t like this. I know it’s the same for some young single too …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:55 AM
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I don’t see that much bitching and morning from women to be honest mostly women defending other women or answering questions but see lots of bitching from men: why does she care if I have a good income, why does height matter, can’t train face,dick height etc. , women imitating divorce, paternity fraud etc. I feel most the women are commenting in opposition of these takes and even the posts by women tend to be rebuttals to these. It is exhausting a lot of the time but for every man whose posted …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:50 AM
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Why don’t you ask her. I don’t know. Even if she hasn’t not having sex in a frame of a few months doesn’t mean you aren’t sexually active or that you are so far removed from the ‘game’ that your opinion is irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:38 AM
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I’m sure everyone on some level wants that (beyond asexual people). Being ok with waiting for someone who is worthy/ ticks the boxes to open yourself up to that your own opinion doesn’t mean you don’t want sex, intimacy or relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:37 AM
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I think she’s talked about previous relationships though which makes her sexually active for the categories op has proposed. Blackpill stuff is also supposed to be banned and gets removed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:08 AM
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Then even more reason to keep woe is me content off here as they don’t need more reasons or content to become discouraged by.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:07 AM
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And how do you know they fall into the “not trying to be” category? I’m assuming 1 would be Lillith since she is the most active female poster currently and pretty sure she’s talked about previous relationships she’s had which would put her in the sexually active category.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:06 AM
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I think not having woe is me attitude is good people are sensitive enough at younger ages which a lot of men here are. Other than that I agree people should be able to contribute. I just think that the amount of people who would actually be excluded according to op is so small it’s not worth noting or discussing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:53 AM
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If someone is an incel they are trying to be sexual active otherwise they would be a volcel or mgtow. Same for the girls. Again the amount who Would be truly not trying would be so low. Typically those people who have given up and are not trying would have Blackpill and woe is me attitudes which isn’t allowed here anyways and the other people who might fall in this category could be asexuals but I don’t see many comments from asexuals anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:46 AM
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The amount of people here who would fall under not trying to be sexually sctive would be minuscule. This subreddit is mostly men - the married ones are sexually active, the single ones are trying to be. Most the women skew older and married (30+) we would be sexually active, and the remaining are either in relationships (sexually active) or trying to be. The amount of single and not trying to be sexually active people I would be surprised if there are more than 5
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:32 AM
1

Most women want children so of course it comes into the calculation for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:28 AM
1

Below poverty.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:06 AM
1

There’s not a lot of sympathy either for women wanting to have a high earning partner. There is logical understanding of it due to the financial burdens of parenting and the high amount of women who end up in precarious financial situations post kids and divorce. Just like there is logical understanding of men liking hot women. Of course there is less tolerance on the discussion of men wanting hot women, it doesn’t impact someone’s life (multiple someone’s if kids in picture) in the same way as …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:04 AM
3

Of course it is. Women know men like beautiful women. That’s no secret and people also know that when a guy isn’t with a hottie that even if she was the kindest most compatible partner he would still wish she was a hottie.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 11:43 PM
6

Doesn’t that work both ways in this situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 10:13 PM
3

lol I was talking about first dates immediatelys. I also wouldn’t go on a 4th date with someone if there was no kissing (even pg-13 kissing would be acceptable if it felt like there was more behind it, but would also nix a fourth date if it only included awkward pecking) by the third date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 06:03 AM
1

That’s true. I imagine certain religious areas/countries would be more likely to be more conservative with sexual partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:26 AM
3

I think a large portion here haven’t gone on any first dates do their fears are based on rage bait and worse case scenario stories they seek out. Like bad people looking to take advantage of you exists in both men and women, but these guys think it’s every woman, when reality if most people aren’t looking to fuck other people over of use them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 05:00 AM
3

I mean that would count as physical intimacy for you guys lol I would probably be a bit hesitant for hand feeding so early lol would rather kiss but yeah there would be something!!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:02 AM
6

That does mean you are saying someone can’t change if they want to be with you. Personally it doesn’t bother me because I don’t know or want you. You are severely limiting your options for well adjusted people though, people mature through experience. People who Are virgins or who only sleep within context of relationships (ever) are a minority. If you were well adjusted and good at reading people you shouldn’t need those types of restrictions on yourself. You should be able to tell who genuinel…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:41 AM
3

People change, circumstances change, values change. The gift humans gave is free will and to learn from our past choices. There is no requirement to treat everyone the same especially relationships which you are meant to learn from each successive one.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 03:15 AM
5

No, he wouldn’t but a lot of guys wouldz, until your a woman and have been judged for having sex early you don’t get to judge women for protecting themselves. But what u meant was early sex can ruin things early even if you aren’t judged by the guy as it can cause it to fizzle earlier for various reasons, poor performance, artificial closeness from sex, loss of interest etc. Having an emotional and intellectual bind before sex increases chance of relationship. People rushing to physical bonds ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:42 AM
4

Because I was so interested in him physically and intellectually that I didn’t want to ruin our chances of a relationship with early sex. I wanted to know him better and for him to know me better. I also had a yeast infection which helped me stick to my resolve. When we did have sex a couple or few weeks later it was electrifying on so many levels. There was a lot of heavy touching and contact in between though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:24 AM
2

You can’t immediately tell anything. I didn’t immediately sleep with my husband despite having one night stands previously. I did want to have sex with him immediately but I refrained. There was other physical intimacy we did though including hot and heavy making out. My point is there will be some physical indication that she wants to be near you, even with refraining from certain lines you will be able to tell since it’s natural to want to touch and be close to someone you are dating and attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 02:02 AM
3

People give chances to people without escalating any physical touch / kissing all the time. They are hoping for it to grow. Those immediate signs of attraction would include the above.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:54 AM
6

If you are dating the expectation is some physical intimacy that progresses which would be the kissing. If she isn’t interested in kissing you after a few dates it’s not progressing. This doesn’t need to mean hot and heavy make out but there should be something.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:53 AM
0

You should trust your gut feeling for a healthy secure individual (I clarify that because if you are just insecure about relationships in general which as wondering why/how people could like you and always doubting yourself or feeling not enough then you likely don’t have a well calibrated gut to trust).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 12:01 AM
9

You can desire sex within a few dates without actually having sex within that time frame. You can also not desire sex because you don’t like having sex early. Everyone is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 11:58 PM
12

No it’s hard to fake that shit there will be obvious signs of disgust pulling away finding reasons to change subject/activity to cut kissing/intimacy short as soon as it begins.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 11:42 PM
80

There should be signs of attraction even without sex. Lots of smiling and laughing, getting closer physically, not shying away at casual touch or finding excuses to casually touch, enthusiastic on dates / setting dates, being into kissing etc. Sex is far from the first signs of attraction and is way better when you’ve built up tension with the other signals listed above
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:06 PM
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That’s wrong. Infidelity is a betrayal of your marriage bonds. You can divorce if you aren’t happy with the level of sex. Sex isn’t owed to anyone it is shared and if one person is unable to share that part of themselves with their partner for whatever reason they need support because in healthy relationships there is intimacy there needs to be a focus on why the person is unable to share at that time. Sickness being the example we were given is a big one. If you are unable to wait for your spou…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:05 AM
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That doesn’t make cheating ok. She said she was sick. She might not have been capable of having sex for whatever reason. Even if she was healthy and was just off sex for a bit it’s not a reason to cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:04 AM
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What a shit thing to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:00 AM
0

The rheotric on women’s subs is far less hateful than when men do it and you know it. It is only Speculation what things would be like if women had hormones like men but the fact is we don’t so it’s a non issue. Saying it’s always a man is far different to saying things like “foids don’t get a choice, her body my choice” one recognises the pattern of violence men have shown towards women one literally is promoting violence towards women. You want statistics why don’t you google why men’s forums …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:54 AM
0

Where did I say hatred and sexism is good? In fact I’m positive I said both misandry and misogyny are bad. Those quotes you provided aren’t violent, trying to get men rights removed or even that hateful. Should we quote some misogynistic ones now? Women are generally less violent than men, even if women physically could impose same level Of violence on men our hormone levels aren’t as ramped towards violence or anger as men’s are which is often why men get themselves into a state where they let …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:37 AM
2

When men in those spaces vent it becomes violent or at removing women’s rights. Women aren’t venting to do violence to men or remove men’s rights. Big difference bud don’t act like they are the same thing, both misandry and misogyny are wrong and yet only one typically results in violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:21 AM
1

For a woman just going on a date with a banker it would be pretty rare at that stage for anyone to expect to never work. They aren’t married they don’t have kids. They are just meeting. At that point it would be a red flag if she wasn’t open to having a job regardless if that changes down the line. Basic cleanliness is not feminine. You are giving real “washing my own asshole is gay” vibes and it’s concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:12 PM
1

Is that what I said? Warning all the money isn’t the extend of a masculine role though. And you seem to cherry pick over my comments. Lets me highlight some you forgot to respond to. Having basic hygiene and cleanliness isn’t feminine. Transitional feminine role is not being a slave for a man. Even men who earn 100% are still expected to have basic cleanliness. As long as the woman is having children and caring for the home that is the equal role. Caring for the home doesn’t mean he does fuck al…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 12:09 PM
1

I’m sure she would be fine with that. Most woman extorting fyi it’s great socialising and having your own money.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 12:04 PM
1

I highly doubt he is fulfilling a masculine role 100% of the time. Humans are not either completely masculine or feminine it’s all a scale. Is he hunting all their food, skinning animals to make leather/furs after utilising the meat? Is he chopping all the firewood, mowing the lawn etc. be real a man like the one in your example is likely that wealthy due to investments which means he would have a large portion of his day free or sitting around on a computer. If he can’t be added to Walk a dish …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:37 AM
1

It’s not hypocrisy. Women like to respect their man, it’s hard to respect someone who can’t take a dirty dish to the sink, who can’t wipe his skid marks off a toilet, who can’t pick up their dirty socks etc. he might not have to do the actual chores or cleaning in these situations where he’s providing everything but if he can’t do basic tidying up after himself yeah gonna be hard to respect him so going to be hard to be attracted to him. Best case scenario a guy like this could hope for is findi…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 11:21 AM
1

We get paid based on experience and proficiencies, so we move up steps year 1 would be step 1 year 2 would be step 2 etc. it’s a little more complex than that as there are certain points such as moving to step 3 where you need to meet both the time requirements and certain paperwork (box ticking providing proof of competencies) at different steps. But there are 7 steps so if you are organised and willing to do the box ticking you could get to step 7 which is about 130k after about 7 years. Once …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 04:53 AM
3

Well kind of we value education but we also don’t. Same story everywhere right. The massive teacher shortages have helped get the salary up. But the reality is with the early top out (7 years or so) we still aren’t attracting many people who would be great teachers and also teachers have high burn out (most new teachers quit in first 5 years) due to student behaviour and lack of genuine consequences for the students
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 03:17 AM
1

No that’s top of the range. So 7 years in. Starting is about 86k. Jumps about 5k each year with some jumps being more in the later years.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 03:14 AM
14

The ones “not into it” are either shy of oral from previous bad experiences or because some guys go in too fast/hard/dry and it’s not pleasant
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:31 AM
8

This. People aren’t binary good or bad attractive or not. You can be all or none and any random combination of so many traits
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:28 AM
3

Yes I know - one of the many reasons I would never teach in the states. My comment specified Australia though, there are quite a few of us aussies here and especially for young men unsure of what they are going to get into I wanted to clarify that at least here teaching can be a good career especially if they plan on going into leadership. Interestingly teachers have one of the highest starting salaries of all professional degrees though we top out without going into management earlier than othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:32 PM
2

To be fair sounds like a great hang out spot. They can still time those conversations better so you aren’t privy to them. It’s not a shopping list to have certain wants and boxes to be ticked (I count things like education/job/ living situation/debt etc as boxes to be ticked - not things like eye colour or height, as those things can be preferences but should be negotiable based on personality and chemistry) Most people would only attack people for standards if they are stating them in a rude wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:05 PM
2

It’s not weird. The only weird thing is complaining about it especially around people who are not going to agree - like fair enough she’s having girl talk but shouldn’t be around you. Those non negotiable qualities are the boxes it’s the same thing just different terminology.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 09:56 PM
3

Because she won’t remain sexually attracted to someone she has to clean up after like a child. Chores are one thing, doing every thing for a slob is another. Having a 1% income isn’t going to make you sexually attractive. It might be attractive as a partner for the relationship overall but sexually it won’t be. It will also breed resentment especially if she hasn’t got open access to spend indiscriminately.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 09:25 PM
2

No one likes a whiner. Tell them stop whining around you
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 09:22 PM
0

Teaching in Australia pays well so male teachers here can do well. Top of the range in nsw is 130k for classroom teachers (public school) and then if they do leadership positions like head teacher they get to 150k or principal they end up on 200+ But yes you need to consider your career carefully if you want to have a family it’s not a strange line of thinking at all it’s highly Pragmatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 07:09 PM
3

Of the men - most. Give or take 10k. Of the women only 1. Most of the women are closer to the 100.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 08:35 AM
7

My comment refers to people living in HCOL areas as these standards are extremely common as yes to have any reasonable purchasing power you need these high incomes that you wouldn’t need in a low cost of living area. There are still men in these HCOL areas however who do not have high incomes and I’ve spoken to a few on ppd who are from where I am (Sydney) and they don’t like acknowledging that it’s just basic planning.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:49 AM
7

You guys must not live in a HCOL area like I do because these guys (and gals) are a dime a dozen. They would actually be considered average earners here (97k) - though median earners skew lower (73k) since we have a lot of extremely high earners here but I’m not referring those as per the op is just 6 figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:38 AM
2

Idk about that. It pretty accurately accounts for most the women I know and all of us are either married or in defacto relationships with mortgages and/or kids. 15% of men is still a lot of men and they tend to live in certain areas such as big HCOL cities, if you live there too as a woman it’s really not that hard to meet men in good careers or with good career trajectories (if you are young and meeting guys in university). It’s not even hard to find multiple of these guys so you can filter dow…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 04:37 AM
11

Perhaps and yet it doesn’t negate what the op said. Women are increasingly choosing to remain single and wait for someone who ticks all the boxes otherwise find fulfilment elsewhere including their own work (which when in a good field also increases likelihood of meeting partner in an adjacent income bracket). Not all women will do this however those who are above average looking and/or have a good field of work are more likely to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 03:04 AM
0

I mean we matched on hinge and his opener was something like “which would you prefer we can small talk for a couple of weeks or schedule a date.” I chose date, I set the place and day for that Friday at a taco place down the street from me. We didn’t have any other contact for the few days before the date except on the Friday to confirm we were both still In.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:20 AM
5

If this was something I was dealing with I would be in therapy. For as long as it takes to not have those thoughts. Definitely while I was in the first few relationships until I’ve confirmed I have rewired negative and destructive thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:19 AM
2

It works when people are attractive but still takes time to narrow options down to find someone you are compatible with (took 2 years to meet my husband with dating apps which included lots of breaks from the fatigue of using the apps) but yeah makes it really hard for people who aren’t very attractive (men and women) as they either have a hard time getting a match (men) or have a hard time matching with someone who genuinely is interested and compatible with (women - they might get matched with…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 07:46 AM
12

Well there you go, so you are swiping yes on nearly every girl then so imagine every guy does this and you know that there is a gender imbalance for dating apps as bad as 70% of users are men in USA/ western places. So each of those guys swiping yes for every woman it just means of course that for every single guy a woman swipes yes on she is going to get a match since he’s already said yes to her like he has for every woman. This is why women end up with hundreds of matches so quickly. Because …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:57 AM
10

You still would statistically be swiping a lot more yes than women since you would have lower overall standards for your relationship partner (making wild assumptions here but this is generally true of men even if not 100% true for you) Women looking for a relationship will swipe yes far less because if she’s looking for a relationship she probably is looking for at least 2/3 important boxes to be ticked. Baseline Attraction (don’t need to be HOT but can’t be ugly and she needs to think at least…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:39 AM
23

Because guys swipe on everyone and girls don’t. Guys use apps hoping for anything - relationships, fwb, hookup etc so their bar is a lot lower and most women are looking for relationships so higher bar and the ones looking for hookup also want higher bar for attraction but not necessarily personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 01:33 AM
1

My ex was very disappointed when we broke up. Devastated. And we were both toxic to each other so it needed to end but it was still very unpleasant for both of us. My point is being nice depends on your point of view. He wouldn’t think I was nice at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 06:17 AM
1

Every kind nice girl you know has broke someone heart at least once or disappointed someone. No one is perfect. That doesn’t make that person not kind unless you are Jesus or ghandi you’ve been mean at least once to someone. Guess you are someone who is illogical if you disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 05:34 AM
1

Maybe, but the only one who really gets to decide that is me and my husband. My exes certainly wouldn’t agree that I’m “good”. Sometimes being good is dependent on your own current situation and the people around you. Like even the most kind person you know and respect is probably a villain in at least one persons story. No one can be everyone’s hero or best friend. But for any guys here struggling I would say just make sure you tick the standard lifestyle boxes and then the more niche ones depe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 05:23 AM
2

Met husband at 26. First kid at 28. That first year though we did do a lot partying and trips together. we both ticked all the important boxes we had for a partner so it wasn’t a waste of time and in fact look back on that time fondly together. You seem bitter especially towards a random internet stranger which is weird. Oh well. Have fun dating all those modern women you seem to hate I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:58 AM
2

Women do care. Just not at 23. Some care in more simple terms such as can we afford travel, eating out and our home etc. Some are more invested in financial planning like retirement, investments and lifestyle. In my relationship I’m the one who cares about these things more than my partner but thankfully he lets me decide these things for us. I didn’t care though until 29 and it took a lot of research, asking for help and I’m still really only a novice and just going on basic financial advice pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:46 AM
3

Seeing as I’m married, one kid one on the way, own our unit in one of the most unaffordable markets in the world, and have a relationship where we genuinely show up for each other every day I don’t think I’m delusional 🤣 I talk to delusional people all the time on some of the local subreddits I like where people are complaining about why they are struggling so hard in life (financially) and one of the most common reasons is they chose a partner who for whatever reason can’t contribute meaningful…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:27 AM
4

Speak for yourself. It would be unserious to waste time with someone who isn’t ticking the boxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:08 AM
4

I live in a big city too. Gotta filter how you are meeting women or else filter out for value earlier. They could just be childfree for life who knows. Most women want serious relationships and marriage though if the guy is the right one and ticks all the boxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:02 AM
4

Every friend I have got serious about who they were dating late twenties and I’m 31 now and I don’t know anyone not married or in a serious relationship with a mortgage or kids Must be the girls you date
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 03:40 AM
5

At 23? Yeah for sure. Most boys want to have fun too at that age though. Most people want the building of family, future and investments in finances and in someone later down the track around late 20s
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 02:49 AM
11

Right. And he’s investing 30% at 23. Love the financial acumen but that’s obviously his priority which is so fine but most 23 year olds are spending every dollar with friends and dating and in a few years when he’s a doctor watch him be all paranoid about his money and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 12:30 AM
2

So interesting to go from home birth to hospital! I’m glad she’s and baby are both ok, how did she know to go to hospital second time, was she attempting second home birth? We had emergency c the first time around just from them doing interventions (breaking waters) trying to speed me up but baby was posterior and was not ready
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 08:10 PM
9

No
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:29 PM
1

Right so you can’t give a reason. Most rational people understand that your preferences don’t need to have a negative reason behind them. Homophobia and sexism are negative, you can reject people for a romantic relationship for anything without it meaning you hate that type of person, and your refusal to accept that is what is cringe.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:23 PM
0

Nope because straight men watch straight porn and I’m attracted to straight men. But again what explanation would be acceptable in your mind that would not fall under sexist or homophobic I’m curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:16 PM
0

If you read the previous comment I explained it if it’s not good enough for you that’s too bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:08 PM
14

It depends on the situation. I finished my masters part time while working 3x a week and bring primary carer for our first born for 2 years. I contributed only around 4k a month (pretax) for those years so we were pretty reliant on partners income. Now I earn around 8k (pretax) having finished the masters and have gone back full time (though about to go on mat leave again for 6 months). Our lifestyle is considerably better with me having been able to finish the masters and I couldn’t have doge i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:05 PM
0

Regardless of monogamous partners would step out or not, everyone has fantasies and most men including my husband watch porn which is fine but I certainly wouldn’t want that porn featuring men and regardless of in that fantasy if he was the top or bottom it would be as bad as actually doing it. 100% of the attractive population not literally everyone. Men are a lot less selective though with who they could find attractive I don’t need a partners attractive pool to double because they find both m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 11:59 AM
1

Because. I’ve replied to another user explaining it if that’s not enough lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:23 AM
0

Nope the shared part of being straight is that we both love and are attracted to our opposite and love ‘performing’ within that paradigm. I want to take my husband I don’t want him to take another man, it’s my role to be the receiver. I also don’t feel attraction towards potentially 100% of attractive people (men and women) and don’t want my husband feeling attraction towards 100% of the population. You say it’s fine to have references but you clearly don’t agree with that if you keep trying to …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:43 AM
0

Because we often look for partners who are similar to us in many ways. Sexuality is an important part of a relationship i want to have as many similarities within that component of my life with my partner. So if you are agreeing that some are scared and some just hate then my original statement stands and you didn’t need to comment acting as if some homophobic people aren’t genuinely scared and that my clarification was redundant because it clearly wasn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:32 AM
3

Is there a reason you didn’t even reply to my reasoning. I want someone straight like me. I don’t even care if there was a prior experiment or gay experience it’s not the act that would freak me out it’s the overall sexuality I want to match my own. Also it’s disingenuous to pretend homophobic people aren’t literally scared of gay people they are scared of them eroding what they view as a normal way of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:20 AM
2

Thank you!! It’s a bit extra scary this time around since I’m trying for a vaginal birth after c section last time which comes with additional risks but then again so does major surgery so either way I’m hoping for a smooth birth too! Time will tell!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:54 AM
3

I know it’s simultaneously gone so slow and so quick! Trying to enjoy it as I know it’s the last time! Convinced my husband to get a vasectomy in the 6 weeks after the birth
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:23 AM
7

29 weeks pregnant today, looking forward to meeting our son and being on Maternity leave
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 01:08 AM
0

I’m straight and would only want to be with another straight person. I’m not scared of bi people, I don’t think they are less than or deserve less rights protections or relationships than straight people. I think we all get to have our preferences. I wouldn’t care if a guy had experimented a time or two in his past but if he did and concluded he genuinely is sexually attracted to both genders it just isn’t the same as being with a name attracted to only women.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:08 AM
5

I’m sorry to hear that, I hope the nausea passes soon and that your treatment goes quickly and optimally. Best wishes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:36 PM
1

I agree. Neither gender has been stopped from dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:47 PM
10

Or maybe just HCOL area and I prioritised having a mortgage rather than renting. I’m a realist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 05:05 PM
11

I’m in a place that also requires 2 incomes. I wouldn’t date a guy with disabilities if it impacted his ability to work and earn tbh. If my husband became disabled it would be different though especially because we have insurances that would pay out in that case and we wouldn’t be worried about bills due to losing an income.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 05:01 PM
1

You can just not on a cold approach or a dating app.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:37 AM
1

Or it means the wooing aspects are critical for this person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:47 AM
1

Sometimes it’s the actual aspects of yourself the wooing which makes you attractive or at least greatly hinders or enhances it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:39 AM
1

The basis of all relationships involve some wooing. Wooing can be respect, humour, intelligence, good conversation etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 10:12 AM
1

So do men. Men aren’t being stopped from dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:37 AM
2

Can you say why she would be attracted to him though? It’s ok to have wishes we all have them but realistically there needs to be something she’s attracted to that sets him apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:48 AM
9

Men can break away just as much as women. You choose who or if you date that’s the breakaway just like for women
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:40 AM
3

In the past (when men would consider times to be the golden age 1950’S) women were given tranquillisers to help them get through their day: doesn’t sounds like they were actually happy back then like men seem to think they were.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 08:31 PM
10

“When leaving marriage creates financial and legal risks for one partner”… this is exactly why there are no fault divorces , women used to be in this position with the addition of being unable to work, or even leave abusibve situations. Divorce in any capacity is likely to be expensive for both parties, there is no getting around that especially with kids. It’s still better for both parties to take a temporary hit and be able to recover when their peace and mental health have recovered. Statisti…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 08:10 PM
2

Yep. Praying our kids don’t end up with it but realistically I have some family with it and he has it but I guess the only saving grace would be that his is so well treated and he’s got experience recognising, communicating and advocating for treatment with himself that I wouldn’t feel quite as out of my depth.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:30 AM
8

It’s still a red flag because red flags are about spotting potential issues in a partner. Someone who has experienced depression in the past is more prone to experiencing it again, just takes that one bad situation or stressful event that triggers it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:08 AM
12

As someone with a husband who deals with chronic depression (but well treated) if god forbid I ever ended up dating again I would steer clear from someone with depression regardless of it’s not their fault. Mental health issues suck and they suck for the people around the individual dealing with them too.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:00 AM
1

Doesn’t have anything to do with anything we’ve been talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 09:14 AM
1

Those building companies closing doesn’t mean the tradies aren’t doing well though. There is more demand for trades than ever, people are having extremely long wait times and high prices because of it. The tradies aren’t doing well. And good on them, we need more.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 09:02 AM
1

Are you living in a rural town? I’m in Sydney and people are doing good. Tradies are killing it right now, corporate is doing well despite the lots of redundancies - people are still finding work as long as they have a useful degree and not something in art or public health. Foreign students are not stopping people from getting jobs and having financial stability.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 08:50 AM
1

Ok that’s true good doesn’t have to mean desirable I was describing a good and desirable man. Educated individuals are not facing the greatest financial instability where I am it’s very much the opposite. Probably because Australia’s student loan system isn’t as broken as the USA where I’m assuming you’re thinking of. Also educated individuals can include trades and tradies do very well here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 08:28 AM
–

Financial stability is not an illusion. If you don’t live above your means, have education or trade and save then you will be financially stable. It also isn’t like people expect 18-23 year olds to be financially stable but by late twenties you should be for sure. Non social butterflies can find other non social butterflies. None of this negates the traits that make a good partner in a man, seems like you were a bit sour grapes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:49 AM
–

If women think the traits listed are what make good men it’s not up to men to decide what makes good men unless a man is interested in other men then he can decide what makes a good man (romantically) for himself. Financially stable, kind and generous don’t make a man mr perfect by the way it’s like you guys see financially stable and automatically insert rich money bags into your heads. Kindness and generosity should be a given within a relationship (but unfortunately it’s not which is why ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:43 AM
–

lol they are not the predominant statistic of relationships get out of here. This whole post anyway is about good men and good relationships, those combination of traits are what make a good partner and the post is about men overestimating how many good men there are seems you must agree that there aren’t many with the right combo.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:04 AM
–

Weird I wouldn’t consider domestically violent relationships or drug abusing, or starving their children as people who fall under the qualifier of “good partner and then under the further qualifiers of “kind”, “generous” and “fun to be with” and “financially stable”
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 04:38 AM
-2

You really think if men weren’t around women wouldn’t train in those roles…lol a big reason women don’t do it now is because it’s very boys club, and they are worried about it not being an attractive woman role. With no men around women would be fine doing it since it wouldn’t be a toxic work environment, and would have less women worried about what kind of clothes they need to wear to work
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 03:43 AM
–

To be a good partner you need those qualities along with generous (with time and affection) and kind ess
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 03:41 AM
1

Can it not be all 3
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 01:52 AM
7

That’s cheap in a woman’s eyes tbh so most women wouldn’t be open to this kind of approach unless you yourself are very attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 07:11 PM
2

No one gets a guarantee which is why you should always be able to support yourself regardless of what life throws you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 02:13 AM
3

Men as a whole (because of course there are outliers and women who lucked out with a great man) have proven to be unreliable when women’s safety and security relies on them. It’s not a trade off women are willing to make. Men can adapt. Women still do offer men what they want albeit not everything just like men have never offered women everything we want -which is so fair because we are all human and for the majority of us compromise will be made somewhere
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 11:48 PM
4

No gaurubtees for the woman. She could have a shit dad, shit husband or shit community (poverty). Her husband could leave her or die. Many more paths lead to unhappiness and destitution for that woman than picket fence life. Smart women know to not rely on men because men are human and shit happens. Rely on yourself, build with a partner and no matter what comes your way end of the day you are going to be fine
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 06:11 PM
–

Women still have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 07:10 PM
11

Except our grandmas and mothers have told us the dangers of not working and having our own money because they either saw it or loved it. They may have been able to have a bank account but a bank account with nothing in it isn’t that great
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 06:56 PM
–

Ironic
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 04:31 AM
–

I work in education as well and find that the male teachers actually are respected far more than the women, and the boys who you say are punished more harshly- I disagree. I could see someone thinking that if they looked into a classroom and saw kids doing the same things and one child given more leeway than another in the form of more reminders or more gentle tone etc however if someone were to watch that same classroom I would say far more likely the kid getting the more firm tone/less reminde…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:15 PM
1

I disagree. I’ve been here awhile and most of the women here are older and married or in serious relationships. Your list of complaints is more akin to what men complain about women liking, the women here more complain about the language and generalising attitudes the men here hold of an entire gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:11 PM
2

It’s like in sales if someone comes in saying I’m not buying today they are definitely buying today they just say that to try convince themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:07 PM
2

They do in hcol areas. We pay $1200 a month in daycare that’s 14k alone in daycare. We’ve spent maybe 2500 on medical this year not including family insurance price, swimming lessons another $1000 for the year, food, toys clothes and kid experiences have definitely been more than 3k this year which is 20k
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:56 AM
5

He tried and couldn’t his examples did not show that at all
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 12:10 PM
9

Why to ignore the point of the comment especially about your inability to read and comprehend. Continue making false claims it doesn’t help Your point when you use “evidence” that doesn’t actually show what you claim it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:06 AM
12

26% is pretty good far better than the 54% you see in other cohorts including first loves, and uneducated. I know which group i would rather be in (and which group I thankfully am in). Marriage is hard since it goes on for so long, I certainly wouldn’t want to do it with the first person I thought I loved lol that would have been an absolute disaster. “Playing the field” is just getting to know yourself and what is going to be compatible with you. Only insecure or inexperienced people don’t unde…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:01 AM
7

And the user you posted that reply to expressed disbelief that women are saying that they find their HUSBANDS less attractive than men they date and you use someone whose talking about their current BOYFRIEND compared to previous boyfriends….boyfriends are no where as near serious as a husband. So again reading comprehension problem. Even with the actual boyfriend that thatbuser was talking about being less physically attractive than previous relationships does not mean it’s a worse relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:58 AM
14

That is not what that user is saying, you’ve got a reading comprehension issue and this whole thread is going to be disingenuous
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:44 AM
23

Divorce state in developed countries are what I said lower amongst educated people. Higher among uneducated yes also in high school sweethearts and people who married young (before 25). Most men are also not rich you sound like you have no idea what you are talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:42 AM
35

Very few people actually marry someone they resent these days. The lowest divorce rate is among people with higher education and who tend to marry later - I would say that a good majority of those people had relationships and experiences perhaps even “played the field” before marriage. Those experiences teach you things about yourself, about what kind of partner you want and expect, and by the time you are mature enough to commit yourself to lifelong commitment you are ready to make an informed …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:20 AM
3

Right so to protect the 2% of men who might get falsely accused (but can still fight to prove the are innocent) you think it’s better to let the other 98% of guys off the hook. This is exactly why there is a gender divide
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 12:44 AM
3

And it really sounds like you think men should be let off all hooks unless there is a witness, or a photo. So just fuck women right let us keep getting assaulted with zero repercussions for 98% of sexual predators.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 09:14 PM
2

You can still socially accuse people Of things even if it can’t be prosecuted in the point though and in cases of sexual assault since there is so rarely any proof all there is left is women being able to get support socially since it’s unlikely the law will be able to prosecute and punish the assaulter. This is true of all cases not just SA. People can publicly accuse people of whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 08:40 PM
4

No it’s the same, people should only go to jail if there is proven, but in this case it’s hard to prove so the least we can do is believe women even if we can’t prosecute the man under the legal system.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:26 PM
8

This is why believe all women started because it’s so hard to prove SA because it normally is happening in places with no witnesses so it becomes he said she said. If at least we believe all women then even if it can’t be charged we can offer emotional support to the woman and can think the guy is trash. Of course some women lie about it but the amount of women lying about it is far smaller than the actual amount of women being assaulted. If a woman is proven to be lying the punishment should be…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 07:04 PM
6

Proving it without a doubt is hard when it’s he said she said. Should Aguioty people just be let off all hoops if can’t be proven without a doubt?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 06:56 PM
0

You’ve missed my point entirely if you think I’m saying that for women sex is something we either love or not care about. Women do care about sex, our hormones can make it difficult to maintain the same kind of sexual drive that men want from us, it’s easy as a man to maintain because you don’t have the same fluctuations in hormones that women do, testosterone literally keeps men horny until old old age. And comparing a hormonal cycle and influence to choosing not to do things like hugging again…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:32 PM
0

Not to diminish how crappy it must have felt to be undesirable to your wife based on your health and resulting changed appearance but the last sentence where you said women get grace and men don’t - I think the fact that men just have naturally higher testosterone which is what gives women ‘grace’. Since men will by and large put their dicks in almost anything/anyone if it’s warm, wet and willing (and hell there are men who don’t even need those requirements unfortunately but they are obviously …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:12 PM
1

Yes but he wasn’t hot in the traditional sense beyond being tall. He was intelligent and had a great career though two things I value. Ignored the red flags, got hurt. So thankful he hurt me because he is/was not a good partner to me (or anyone) and I deserved so much better. It’s sad I ignored the flags but I was also a lot younger and honestly was not in a good place. After him did the work on myself and met my now husband who is an absolute angel and god send of a man and I’m so thankful that…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:01 AM
2

I don’t think it’s good or fair to keep some people on back burner ready to use when you are ready. However, I do agree experiment and try things while young since statistically young relationships are going to fail and the more you learn about yourself the more you know about what you actually want when you are ready to be serious
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 06:09 AM
3

Medical autonomy. You can’t force a person to have a medical procedure. Both abortion and birth are medical procedures. If you argue against medical autonomy we would be harvesting organs and blood from anyone we deemed it necessary from.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:53 PM
2

That’s a bit quick
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 07:27 PM
3

It’s not a lot of people because it’s not the right connection. My partner is the only one I stopped talking and looking at other guys for because I just kind of knew really early.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 05:50 AM
6

Nah it’s really not. I was talking to a few guys same time as my husband. After a date I knew he was my main interest and I was talking less to others. After 2 dates (and I somehow just didn’t schedule a date with anyone else) I stopped talking to others completely
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:49 AM
11

Women just want the same thing you described in first paragraph. Women don’t love corporations they love financial freedom and same as you going to school getting good job is how most have to do it
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 06:11 PM
1

I seriously doubt the only women around you are 3 tooth smokers. If you think they won’t be choosing you then what I said wasn’t an insult it is likely they feel the same way about you that you feel about ol 3 tooth. The sad thing is if you genuinely cared about women as people and weren’t opposed to seeing women as friends you likely would have better results but you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 04:07 AM
1

Someone not meeting your standards for a relationship doesn’t mean they are beneath you. In reality no one is above or beneath another person regardless of they meet their standards for dating or not, this is just your own views. Seeing as you don’t even want a relationship though doesn’t make sense to even have those standards since it’s just sex you claim you want. Something you haven’t answered to anyone who’s asked you: why do you think an attractive woman would choose you over someone else …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 02:58 AM
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