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cobraCL Archive

View 0 posts and 534 comments by cobraCL on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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27

Also she may tell the same thing to every client, strippers and prostitutes do like to make their clients feel sexually powerful and like they're 'the man'. Some of the appeal of the experience is an ego boost and OP got it. Acted performance or not the confidence boost is a net positive.
/r/seduction11/10/22 04:58 AM
2

That was a cunty thing to say IMO, but since you consider her a friend maybe she thought "roasting" wouldn't hurt your feelings or be taken seriously. A lot of friends give eachother shit for fun. If she roasts you, roast her back.
/r/seduction07/10/22 05:45 PM
2

Good comment. The asshole energy does work on some women very well, from observation this tends to be dysfunctional women who love roller-coaster romances and are insecure validation addicts. When someone dislikes them or cuts them down, their low self esteem makes them chase the other party to convince them (and themselves) that they are worthy, lovable, attractive. Bit of shit show really. Confidence, authenticity and independence are very appealing to women in general. Being a dick might work…
/r/seduction07/10/22 08:09 AM
3

Yes! This, and your honesty is appreciated.
/r/seduction05/10/22 06:29 AM
2

The world would be a better place if people knew what they wanted, and were overt about it. This behaviour is basically "Have your cake and eat it too" - The man in question in this scenario estanlishes the leeway of being able to shut down any conversation about feelings (if it comes from you), but wants to game the boundary he established for 2 possible reasons. A) He changed his mind and actually wants something deeper after accidentally forming a bond with you, or B) He understands the effic…
/r/seduction05/10/22 06:24 AM
1

It is a form of asexual admiration, which I believe to be a high compliment in itself. A woman kind find a man 'beautiful' and want to fuck him at the same time, the two are not mutually exclusive. Same applies to a man calling a woman beautiful (as opposed to telling her she's hot and sexy directly), it's restrained and polite but doesn't negate the possibility of sexual attraction. In a way it's pure, comes from a place of objective admiration. Men seem to be confused by this because they do n…
/r/seduction05/10/22 04:12 AM
2

Hm - Not sure I agree as everyone has an individual ranking of how important certain features of a relationship are. A woman with a low libido or an indifference to physical touch will be happy with less sex, mechanical sex or just enough "maintenance" sex to keep her partner comitted. A woman with a high libido whoose love language is physical touch (as opposed to words of affirmation or receiving gifts), will place high value on quality sex as it is her way of communicating, expressing and rec…
/r/seduction04/10/22 10:38 AM
1

Forget the brainwashing please. Direct communication and basic consideration will never be unmasculine traits.
/r/seduction04/10/22 10:34 AM
1

Such a fantastic comment. You get it.
/r/seduction04/10/22 10:33 AM
1

Lolwat 😂
/r/seduction04/10/22 10:26 AM
4

What Tinder statistics? How is Tinder an accurate representation of all men and women - It's largely a hookup app so even of the stats were true, it maoes sense that people on a causal sex app with have more casual sex than the average person.
/r/seduction04/10/22 07:29 AM
1

That sucks - Most people with empathy and communication skills do not go into excruciating detail about their past sexual romps to their current partners, nor do they telepathically expect them to know how to please them. Unfortunate that you felt awful, but I can assure you most people are more patient than what you think and are NOT constantly evaluating your performance. I had to have this conversation with an ex who struggled with performance anxiety and reassured him that porn is not realit…
/r/seduction04/10/22 07:25 AM
1

It could go either way. As your partner, she is responsible for honoring your boundaries and being empathetic towards your needs and vulnerabilities. She can't however manage the emotional damage from your previous relationship for you. Her keeping quiet may make you wonder if she is conniving, lying by omission and intentionally hiding shit from you. Her disclosing incidents like an ex contacting her might make you feel that she is manipulating you by making you feel insecure. Meanwhile, maybe …
/r/seduction01/10/22 05:33 PM
10

"Addictive personalities" are usually linked to poor impulse control and high risk behaviours. Drug addicts are highly repulsive to some women and very attractive to others - The latter being women who are equally self-sabotaging, equally chaotic and equally dysfunctional. If you put a number of individuals together with poor impulse control and high risk taking behaviors, it does sound likely that casual sex would happen. I hung around a lot of drug users in my late teens to mid 20s, both the g…
/r/seduction01/10/22 05:07 AM
7

Haha, Whisper is nuts.
/r/seduction26/09/22 11:39 AM
1

Excellently written.
/r/seduction24/09/22 05:48 AM
2

This is awesome, good on you.
/r/seduction19/09/22 03:21 PM
7

This wasn't a shit test. You have only been talking for half a week and she is not invested enough yet to deeply care about birthdays etc. It's also normal to not have the time to send extremely long messages all day, or to message consistently every day. Be cautious of twisting reality to support your (hopeful) narratives, you be sorely disappointed. It is also strange to project the idea of manipulative 'testing' on people when they are just acting like any reasonable person would.
/r/seduction17/09/22 07:26 AM
1

Hahaha. Exactly!
/r/seduction11/09/22 06:30 AM
9

I read this in Powdered Toast Man's voice. 😂
/r/seduction11/09/22 06:29 AM
5

Subjective take. When I call a man "cute", I mean "hot / attractive / endearing" with affectionate and adoring undertones. If you are smashing, then clearly she does not mean 'cute like a puppy'. She's not trying to emasculate you, she's communicating that you give her warm fuzzies in her chest.
/r/seduction11/09/22 06:19 AM
1

How long have you been together?
/r/seduction11/09/22 04:58 AM
1

The problem isn't what she posts or what she wears, it runs much deeper than that. She has serious emotional issues and her broken outlook on love and life will suck you in like a vacuum. If all her exes were abusive, that means she is attracted to dysfunction and chaos and does not know how to love in a healthy way. She will create the dysfunction if things are too peaceful in the relationship and it will be ugly, and frankly she may even be the narcissistic abuser herself. (Do some research on…
/r/seduction11/09/22 04:58 AM
1

SHE IS SO INTO YOU. This is a tactic I use to flirt. It comes from a place of genuine admiration and even adoration. Don't miss this bid for connection, do something about it 😦
/r/seduction10/09/22 08:01 AM
1

Never compare your life's path to anyone else's. You walked this road to grow and overcome struggle, and you deserve some fucking credit for the progress you've made. It's okay to feel anger and pain over wasted years and wasted youth - I know that struggle all too well, including never having those special 'firsts' as a teenager. We were struggling and isolated in an era where everyone else was innocently and excitedly exploring, unburdened by adulthood's complications, politics and expectation…
/r/seduction10/09/22 07:57 AM
2

Breathe! 🤗 There was nothing wrong with your message, I would have personally found it quite funny and rather sweet. She hasn't ghosted you - it's literally been one day! People get busy, tired, stressed, maybe they have a lot going on socially, or they are dealing with something privately. I know its not easy to say, but try not to obsess over this one person. Obsessive behaviour can make another person feel very overwhelmed. Focus on you and don't personalize her day's absence. You're doing ok…
/r/seduction09/09/22 05:09 AM
11

I don't mind a 'talker'. It's especially endearing when he is rambling about things that excite him.
/r/seduction09/09/22 04:58 AM
20

This is a generalization, but some extroverts don't understand introverts. I'm a quiet / observant type and get this a lot. On the plus side, you have caught their attention and can use the situation to build conversation 1 on 1.
/r/seduction09/09/22 04:57 AM
2

Self-respect. "Some women date chumps and losers so I don't see why I shouldn't be a chump or loser too. " No. The goal of self improvement is always personal development and living the best fucking life you possibly can. Attracting women tends to be a positive side effect because the confidence you gain is magnetic in all social arenas. Never use women as a primary model for determining your actions. Ask yourself what you want from your life instead. Also: The women who consistently go for chum…
/r/seduction06/09/22 03:36 AM
3

I personally wouldn't ask in the first place.
/r/seduction28/08/22 12:57 PM
–

There's a lot of generalization in this post. There is no correlation between some women being vegan and some women acting dismissive towards men. We are not a monolith: Each female exists on a spectrum from high empathy and tenderness to outright sociopathy. The women who stand men up, use them, and do not protect their vulnerability are innately low in empathy. Your challenge is to weed out these motherfuckers. A woman high in empathy will consider you in everything she does.
/r/seduction28/08/22 08:45 AM
–

Experience is the best teacher.
/r/seduction22/08/22 07:46 PM
–

Good advice. Keep a strong sense of identity (no codependency), practice boundaries, and stay true to your dreams. A good partner will encourage all of the above.
/r/seduction22/08/22 07:25 PM
1

It's a good thing to talk about, but NOT on a first date. A first date is intended to incite chemistry, build curiosity and to have fun. It should absolutely not be a baggage discussion, your date is there to enjoy time getting to know about you, not your exes.
/r/seduction22/08/22 04:13 PM
1

It's hard to say. Some people get emotionally destroyed in bad relationships (a divorce is even more draining) and then develop a "fuck it" attitude until they are able to get themselves together again. After crawling out of a soul-sucking marriage, people tend to celebrate their freedom to the fullest and while guarding their hearts. Folks like the one you mentioned in your scenario usually come around at some point and find love again.
/r/seduction22/08/22 04:10 PM
2

Someone being attracted to you will always have a warmer response than someone who is not attracted to you. Whether it will work or not is subjective to your target. I personally have a 'flee' instinct when someone comes on boldly without establishing trust first, even if I find them physically attractive. However when rapport is made, I welcome boldness and accelerate it.
/r/seduction22/08/22 04:01 PM
1

This could be an extremely complex issue, ranging from distrust and fear of the opposite sex, fear of rejection, feeling shame and guilt over one's own sexuality, growing up in a house without witnessing affection between parents, being scared of being vulnerable, or the aftermath of suppressed memories of someone violating your boundaries, space or bodily autonomy at some point. The mind is skillful at crafting all sorts of armor to protect a person from any kind of emotional damage (past or fu…
/r/seduction22/08/22 03:56 PM
2

Absolutely. The girl is clearly trying to show investment and interest by being affectionate. This is a natural aspect of building connection, chemistry and trust and sex tends to follow from that point onwards. Not every woman is capable of just opening her legs from the get go. OP isn't wrong for wanting sex fast, but as you mentioned he needs to be intentional about finding likeminded parties. It is self-defeating to select incompatible prospects, and then resent them for not wanting the same…
/r/seduction20/08/22 07:52 PM
1

You don't want the same things, clearly.
/r/seduction20/08/22 07:44 PM
–

Believe it or not, many of us women do see you as human beings and we do advocate for you. I don't tolerate judgements that are unfair and irrational.
/r/seduction20/08/22 02:35 PM
1

On the contrary, I think many people do... Basically a healthy self esteem is all it takes for people to stop tolerating being an "option" on somebody's platter.
/r/seduction20/08/22 02:28 PM
1

You are doing great 🤗
/r/seduction20/08/22 02:26 PM
18

Such a fundamental and brilliant concept. If you believe you are attractive, you reverberate attractive behaviours. If you believe you are competent and valuable, you outwardly present that and people start viewing you as a prize. If you like and love yourself, you aren't anxious about being liked by others and present authenticity to the world instead of desperation. Once you are oriented to this mindset, tackling the hard work mentioned in your hypothesis becomes a lot more natural. A mentalit…
/r/seduction20/08/22 09:47 AM
–

A brutally honest but necessary answer. A person who is inwardly insecure will usually pick uninvinvested and non-committal partners, and will play along with their games because they feel they don't deserve any better. A person who knows their value will not hesitate to cut someone off immediately when it becomes apparent they want an accessory or a utility instead of a respected equal.
/r/seduction20/08/22 09:37 AM
3

Realistically, both sexes do this. It boils down to the empathy and integrity of the individual. Some people are incredibly devoted (even when they have "options"), others are narcissistic and use people to bolster their own ego. It's painful to be on the receiving end of this but we have to train ourselves to detect users.
/r/seduction20/08/22 09:34 AM
2

You are plainly wrong. Human behaviour and psychology is much more layered than this.
/r/seduction20/08/22 05:10 AM
7

Absolutely spot on.
/r/seduction20/08/22 04:41 AM
8

I've seen a number of OP's posts and he is suffering from depression quite severely. It sounds horrible but someone struggling so frequently from suicidal ideation needs to stop thinking about dating for a while and drill deep into the underlying issues. For many that is low self esteem, trauma, toxic childhoods and feeling trapped and purposeless. Women can wait, if it means saving your own life.
/r/seduction19/08/22 05:02 AM
2

Sounds like neither attraction nor validation seeking. Some people are just friendly and bubbly, and nurturing good relationships with your neighbors is generally a very good thing to do.
/r/seduction17/08/22 09:08 PM
–

Let go of all of this awful self talk. If anyone else spoke to you so cruelly, you likely wouldn't tolerate it! Don't mindread people's assumptions, and if they have assumptions, that's their problem. Don't call yourself an idiot or a creep, or imply that women would be wasting time with you. That voice in your head is abusive and a liar. You may have maybe learnt it from cruel people as a child and adopted it as your own. Try to change that voice from an abusive one to a kind and supporting one…
/r/seduction17/08/22 08:58 PM
3

You are your worst critic. Shame and self judgement are holding you back and making you terrified of even trying. Let go of "should's". Your journey doesn't have to look like anybody else's and improvement is always possible. Focus on the bare basics for now, and that means looking after your self esteem first. Once you feel worthy of success and you understand that you are valuable, lovable and attractive, your social skills will slowly fourish. Good luck. Have a hug. 🤗💜
/r/seduction17/08/22 08:43 PM
16

Ignore her. She isn't mature enough to process her hurt feelings in a constructive way. Don't engage, or act like the disrespectful incident didn't happen. No reaction = no reason to provoke.
/r/seduction17/08/22 04:15 PM
1

That is unique indeed - Most folks have a range of sexual tastes with some wiggle room if they like the person enough. I personally find a large spectrum of male features attractive, and the clincher is always personality and intellect. I suppose you can't control what you are attracted to, but having such "strict" criteria will make finding someone worthwhile very tough. I am holding thumbs you find what you want though! 🌸
/r/seduction17/08/22 01:59 PM
–

I see your dilemma - well how narrow is your phenotype for physically attractive women?
/r/seduction17/08/22 03:27 AM
1

I agree with you! People in those situations absolutely need to work intensively with a mental health professional to unfuck their self esteems. It often includes unlearning everything they learnt about love as children, which is a massive task in itself. People can be extremely broken despite being functional overall, and you are spot on that it is very common.
/r/seduction17/08/22 03:26 AM
–

Not sure about them carrying the majority of the effort specifically, but a man who knows his own value, is comfortable in himself and is highly independent is attractive as hell. Invest in the romantic interactions but show that you value your own interests, passions, friendships and time extensively too. Focus on what gives you purpose in life and speak what ignites a fire in you. When you believe in yourself, women tend to mirror that idea that you are a prize. Personally speaking I will glad…
/r/seduction16/08/22 07:31 PM
2

Such a great post! Thanks for sharing.
/r/seduction16/08/22 06:39 PM
1

I definitely see what you mean haha. It also depends on definitions of cheating versus other inappropriate behaviour in a relationship, which many women are guilty of. Statistically women are less likely to have a sexual affair than men are. But I have realized that (especially younger) girls still entertain a lot of attention from men other than their partners while in a relationship. Basically, they hoard validation, keep orbiters, accept flirting, and may even flirt back which IMO is quite un…
/r/seduction16/08/22 04:38 PM
1

Okay, that's an awesome place to start! I would personally focus on building a social circle, because you will have more time to interact with guys casually and slowly find out your likes and dislikes. It might be a good idea to join some hobby groups and vibe with like-minded people. Try to expose yourself to as many different social settings as possible, because you will likely interact with guys wherever you go. Exposure will help a lot. 😊 Try to carry yourself with warmth and with confidence…
/r/seduction16/08/22 04:20 PM
–

Why not haha. Even if the sexual prospects are meh then you can still enjoy a cheap vacay at an incredible destination 😊 You have nothing to lose. All the best and have lots of fun!
/r/seduction16/08/22 04:02 PM
1

Hmm... What are your hobbies and interests? You mentioned you have a bit of social anxiety, do you socialize a lot or not really?
/r/seduction16/08/22 03:58 PM
1

Could you explain? Flirtation itself IS direct sexual attention, and "Game" is called game for a reason. Flirting is a normal part of building sexual chemistry and bonding between parties. Unless you meant that women "play games" when they get ticked off when men shut down their mating signals. In which case... I fail to see how not responding positively to a non-response qualifies as playing games. It shuts down engagement. If someone throws you a bone and you choose not to catch, it's not the …
/r/seduction16/08/22 03:19 PM
–

Perspective is everything. I would have thought that she was calling you hot (hot enough to warm the water), so the way you reacted practically rebuffed and negated her compliment. I personally hate when guys do that - answer my bid for connection, don't shut down my flirtation. Huge attraction killer. In future don't be so hypervigillant of "tests" that you miss genuine opportunities to escalate with someone you're attracted to. Seduction is pretty much a dance where each party is attentive to …
/r/seduction16/08/22 01:49 PM
3

I would eat this up tbh 😂 hahaha
/r/seduction16/08/22 12:47 PM
1

Whatta shitshow 😂 Yeah, dating here is bad enough but sounds worse abroad. Just curious though, if you are a self-identified player are you not maybe basing your samples on a particular demographic you may have the most sucess with? Where do you meet the women you game, and is there not a possibility you mostly 'see' what confirms your bias? I tend to ask the same questions when I see women post or talk about repeatedly seeing men misbehave (cheating, chauvinism, egocentricism list goes on) and …
/r/seduction16/08/22 12:26 PM
–

The cream of the crop of men are dating the cream of the crop of women (and maybe have casual hookups with women they see below them). You have to be equally desirable to the people you want to date. What are you bringing to the table to match the guy who every girl wants? You complain that the guys you engage with only want sex, but you are only open to dating the men who literally have a buffet of female sexual attention to pick and choose from. Try to understand that you can't build a relatio…
/r/seduction16/08/22 12:11 PM
3

What kind of guy do you want? Also where are you looking? Your social anxiety may manifest in body language that makes you look closed off and intimidating. If you want to invite warm, kind and playful attention, be sure that you communicate that same vibe you want to attract. Take initiative as well. If you see a guy you're attracted to, open a conversation. If that's a little too scary, invite his attention with a smile and some eye contact.
/r/seduction16/08/22 12:04 PM
1

Sounds sociopathic. I understand that they have "options" (arguably every woman does unless in an extremely controlled society), but I am struggling to fathom the lack of basic human empathy that would prevent someone from cheating even if they had 100 chances? That is assuming that all people exist on spectrums of narcissism and impulse control. Like I can definitely see some types cheating (party girls, insta and tiktok thots addicted to male validation) but surely others with good self esteem…
/r/seduction16/08/22 11:59 AM
7

I get the underlying principle of your post, but the comparison to sexual violence and domestic abuse is off-mark. Abusers condition their targets over months or years into believing they are worthless, deserve their abuse, and that they should consider themselves "lucky" that someone even given them the time of day. They provide an irregular reward system (alternating horrific abuse with adoration and tenderness) to form trauma bonds of neuro chemical emotional extremes. It is essentially Stock…
/r/seduction16/08/22 11:29 AM
1

If that is the case, then social interactions (at least the younger crowd) sound overwhelmingly soulless and broken. 🤔 How would you describe the behaviour of most younger western women in relationships? Assuming they adhere to monogamy as a basic principle?
/r/seduction16/08/22 10:10 AM
1

I sometimes battle to understand what people mean when they say women in the West have nothing to offer besides sex. I'm white but not from the 1st world, are things really that bad in the 'West'? Do women not do any loving acts of service (like the ones you mentioned) at all? No deeper companionship and emotional nourishment, like being supportive, setting goals with you, comforting you, advising you?
/r/seduction16/08/22 08:59 AM
2

Authenticity is magnetic as hell. Good for you.
/r/seduction16/08/22 08:56 AM
–

Kindly... This is such bullshit lol. Women love sex and lots of it. We just don't give it out indescriminantly. The "pure and demure" act has always been a consequence of social, cultural and religious pressure. Women are not as asexual as you think. Biological consequence/investment in reproduction is far more likely to answer your supply and demand dilemma.
/r/seduction16/08/22 08:40 AM
9

Splitting (to me) feels like a matter of decency. I never want a guy to feel used or that his efforts and investment are one-sided. Rather take this as a compliment, or propose taking turns so that it feels more like you are spoiling and courting her (and vice versa!) from time to time.
/r/seduction15/08/22 03:32 PM
1

Nothing wrong with this tbh. So long as each party feels seen, loved and appreciated.
/r/seduction15/08/22 03:29 PM
1

Don't do that to yourself. A manipulative person never "changes", because they naturally lack empathy. They are constantly looking for soft spots in you to exploit, ways to undermine your boundaries, and methods of provoking drama to get reactions. Frankly no pussy is worth that. Let her go and find someone emotionally intelligent and stable.
/r/seduction14/08/22 04:03 PM
1

Obsessive behaviour is suffocating to healthy individuals. Women (even men, or any party in platonic friendships) flee from obsessive behaviour because they do not want to feel responsible for another party's happiness and mental stability. Independence is attractive. It should be abundantly clear that you are happy in yourself and do not need another person to complete you. You should have a clear identity, goals, and personal interests. Women who are attracted to obsessive behaviour our are us…
/r/seduction13/08/22 06:19 AM
2

Sometimes it boils down to insecurity. Some people are afraid of their own feelings and get anxiety and cold feet as soon as something starts feeling too real or too intense. There isn't too much of a cure for this because insecurity/fear/immaturity are not factors you can control in another person. Best you can do is to make sure the courtship is "easy" : do not come on too strong, keep it light and casual. Create a space for them to chase you as much as you are chasing them, because their auto…
/r/seduction13/08/22 06:02 AM
–

Don't be a masochist. Hold your head up high and move on - you deserve more than second prize or crumbs off someone's table.
/r/seduction13/08/22 05:14 AM
23

The best answer.
/r/seduction13/08/22 05:06 AM
2

It depends on your intentions. If casual, feel free to omit. If relationship, then by all means be open and factual about attending therapy. It is true that a vapid woman might see this as "weak", but ask yourself if you would actually be compatible with someone who sees healing and self-improvement as negatives? Would you really want to be around someone who expects you to walk through life as a robot, never being able to express vulnerability or struggle? A woman who is intelligent and empathe…
/r/seduction13/08/22 05:05 AM
1

You had time to make this post. If "possession" is love then I suppose you would be happy with an arranged marriage in a society where divorce is unacceptable, no matter how miserable the husband and wife are together.
/r/seduction12/08/22 10:13 PM
1

Bullshit. Marriage was established as a bartering system and has only been romanticized as a symbol of "love" in the past 1-2 centuries. A contract doesn't validate or prove love. And even if a couple gets married, they can choose to do so with a pre-nup. Again, why are you fixated on a relationship "failing" ? You haven't answered my question as to what you think the POINT of love is to you. Is the point of love, love? Or is the point of love having an unwaveringly loyal human possession till t…
/r/seduction12/08/22 09:49 PM
1

Fellow needs to detox from blackpill internet brainwashing. His views are almost dogmatic... He categorically dismisses every single challenge or argument and just throws out assumptions presented as truths.
/r/seduction12/08/22 09:41 PM
1

Who said you have to get married? 😂
/r/seduction12/08/22 09:34 PM
1

What do you think is the point of dating, love and sex? You keep on mentioning "the woman will leave you" as an argument for not trying. So fucking what? Men leave women all the time. Women leave men. Partners grow apart and leave eachother, after a number of incredible years together. Some couples stay happily married for a lifetime, but still have to grieve the burial of their beloved spouse in old age. Nothing in life is permanent. We engage with others because inbetween in the hardships and …
/r/seduction12/08/22 08:57 PM
1

It still hurts a lot to get ghosted. How was the vibe between you guys on those initial dates? Was she flirty or more or less just friendly?
/r/seduction12/08/22 08:35 PM
2

Where is your evidence? Do you seriously believe that human beings are powerless in influencing the outcomes of their lives? Do you seriously believe that a man with a shattered self-esteem, paranoia and hesitation will be as successful as a man who has LEARNT confidence and self-acceptance and carries himself accordingly? Do you really think that a man who grew up socially withdrawn and lacking in positive social influences will be as successful as a man who has LEARNT how to connect with other…
/r/seduction12/08/22 08:27 PM
2

Ah, that sucks! I wish I knew more about the situation, but there could be a few factors. In dating, it's very important to strike while the iron is hot - if you are clicking and vibing well, definitely try to keep escalating with flirty behaviour, touching, and of course kissing and the rest. If momentum is lost during the chemistry builfing phase, a dynamic may start to feel platonic and tiresome to your date (even if you feel the opposite!) Also, any interaction that is one-sided is an automa…
/r/seduction12/08/22 08:02 PM
1

Sounds good IMO! Brownie points for the rugby shirts, those look quite yummy.
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:55 PM
7

Bro, what fantasy world. You find guys on this sub thanking the community because for the first time in their lives, they are approaching girls, getting numbers, going on dates. The only mentality that guarantees failure is a victim mentality. No accountability = no results by default.
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:52 PM
7

Sorry, but this is not helpful. Many people of all walks of life did not walk a "perfect" road: not in self esteem, not in vocation, not in purpose and not in romance. The people on this sub have chosen the hard path of taking ACCOUNTABILITY for their happiness, and are reaching out for resources and advice. Social skills are learnable. Conversational skills are learnable. Confidence is learnable. Self-love is learnable. Emotional intelligence is learnable. Seduction, romance and winning in love…
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:37 PM
3

I'm sending a hug your way, these things tend to hurt like shit. 💜 Unfortunately things didn't work out and you need to work on accepting that. Try your best not to over-idealize this girl because she is a flawed, scared human being just like you are. Something unfortunately didn't 'click' between you guys and the courtship lost momentum and ended. Some suggestions: Detox hard from her. Delete her number and unfollow her from social media. Question the feelings underneath your obsession. Are you…
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:25 PM
1

This is crazy subjective. I personally like the best of both: well fitted to your body but not tight enough to flaunt your junk. I appreciate a man with a classic and stylish dress sense. Anything too showy (wife beaters, tight pants etc.) would be a turn off on the first date. Yet again, I'm 28. A 19 year old girl may answer differently. Dress to cater to your desired demographic.
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:13 PM
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Bravo, and I concur. Outside of the echo chambers of the internet, approaching people - including women - is incredibly normal and socially healthy. I also want to urge guys to remember, that not every "cold" response is a reflection of things you did wrong or your general attractiveness. Very often a girl who responds coldly could be in a relationship and is trying to be respectful to her boyfriend or husband, or maybe she's stressed or in a rush, or in a difficult place emotionally. There are …
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:08 PM
2

Shh! 😂
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:01 PM
12

Not necessarily, but keep in mind that none of us are mind-readers. A woman who smiles is being kind, polite and sociable. Is she welcoming romantic attention? Maybe she is, maybe she's not. You have to take a chance. Approach her, if not to advance with her romantically but to build confidence and possibly have a satisfying and teachable social experience.
/r/seduction12/08/22 07:00 PM
1

God, this happened to me with the guy I gave my virginity to. 😂 Confusion was probably the least bad thing I felt. Modern dating is complicated because many or most people date to see where the "vibe" takes them as opposed to being relationship-minded from the get go. With that being said, we need to take accountability for screening partners better and establishing intent early. Because I faced similar issues to what you have, I had to understand that I was the common denominator in all of thos…
/r/seduction11/08/22 05:22 AM
5

You are an angel for respecting and cherishing those things.
/r/seduction10/08/22 04:45 PM
2

Great advice.
/r/seduction09/08/22 02:15 PM
1

Haha 😂
/r/seduction09/08/22 02:04 PM
1

Yesss that's so awesome! 😁 I'm glad for you.
/r/seduction09/08/22 12:40 PM
1

"Girls feel like a mom when they're older." Speaking from experience, I would argue that this is only applicable when her mate acts passive, indecisive and lazy in courtship and dating. The man who I felt like a tired mom around was slightly older than me. Take a decisive and confident role in your relationships. It will bring out the "woman" in any girl you date, whether a bit younger or a bit older.
/r/seduction09/08/22 07:30 AM
2

A one year age difference is nothing. I've actually seen more guys be finnicky about dating someone older than the other way around. When I was 21 I dated a guy who was 19. It was never an issue and I saw him as my equal, because we were in a similar phase of life and we got on well.
/r/seduction09/08/22 07:20 AM
2

My comment just disappeared 🙁 okay lemme condense: This chick is treating you like an orbiter that will always just hang around at her convenience only. Like I'm shocked at her arrogance honestly. IMO you aren't dealing with a reasonable, sensitive and accountable person here. She will probably use your "dishing back" to prove that you're an asshole somehow, and that's why she wasn't comfortable seeing you. 🥺👉👈 Rationalization hamster. I am calling it now! Legit, I would personally ignore the sh…
/r/seduction09/08/22 06:24 AM
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Teasing is good, roasting isn't.
/r/seduction08/08/22 08:03 PM
1

Hahahaha. 😂 You poet.
/r/seduction08/08/22 07:13 PM
1

Literally or figuratively? 😂😉
/r/seduction08/08/22 07:12 PM
1

Such an excellent comment in so many ways! 😁
/r/seduction08/08/22 07:09 PM
1

Uh, no? 😂 Do you know a lot of people? It's very common for women in their early 20s to date men in their 30s. Most women (no, not internet sjw's) don't find this creepy whatsoever. Many girls appreciate that men in their 30s are more mature and willing to settle down. Men younger than 25 usually want to sow their wild oats and mess girls around. In fact, well established men in their early 30s are more likely to go for beautiful girls in their 20s than women their own age. It has literally alwa…
/r/seduction08/08/22 05:28 PM
1

May I ask how old you are and where you live? It isn't uncommon for women in their 20s to date men in their 30s whatsoever?
/r/seduction08/08/22 05:03 PM
3

Bro, people in FAR worse positions are able to turn their lives around and cultivate healthy relationships. I'm talking about fucked up abusive childhoods, drug addictions, alcoholism, financial ruin, severe mental health issues. OP doesn't need to be able to relate to "everyone", he just needs a small circle of friends who share his interests, who get him and are good people. Relationship experience isn't really that much of a solid argument considering there are tons of people who have been da…
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:32 PM
2

You need to preserve yourself OP. You can take care of other people, but not to the degree that you want to sacrifice your life. You are NOT heartless for needing to fight for your own life. It is your grandparents' and parents' choice to refuse professional care! Why kill yourself over other people's selfish decisions?
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:16 PM
1

By allowing yourself to grieve, allowing yourself to feel anger, and forgiving yourself. The longer you dwell on lost youth and mistakes you made in the past, the more you rob yourself of the present and a good future by extension.
/r/seduction08/08/22 08:13 AM
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I don't really agree. If certain painful realizations are made and drastic action is taken, a life can turn around completely in 1-3 years. Even if he does find someone at 40 and not sooner, I fail to understand why this is to be seen as sad. Some of the strongest people at some time had to mourn lost youth and shattered dreams, but it makes the comeback all the more honourable.
/r/seduction08/08/22 08:06 AM
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First of all I would like to extend empathy because this is a difficult situation. Sorry in advance for the darkness of the below, but I need to ask some questions before I can give any advice... Please confirm if any of the below are true for you: Were you groomed into a "caretaker" role (physical and emotional) for adults when you were a child? Did your parents encourage or ignore and punish you when you expressed yourself? Do you feel helpless and indecisive often? Is your family "posessive" …
/r/seduction08/08/22 07:38 AM
1

Work on developing your social skills and develop a healthy perception of yourself. You must walk before you can run.
/r/seduction08/08/22 05:11 AM
2

This is the way! Getting non-responses and being ghosted behind a screen is just such a negative feedback loop on a person's confidence. Even chatting casually with women with no intent to approach can still be great in building confidence and studying human behavior! Hell, just practicing conversational skills is a fantastic way of improving life in all aspects. I would beckon guys to always choose what is healthiest. Engage with what can help you learn! Spending hours on swiping and messaging …
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:23 AM
2

I've seen that also. Which is terrible because I could write much, much more on why OLD is awful for men especially. It's more or less the consequence of people becoming increasingly enmeshed in the digital world, but studies show that almost all social media is linked with lower self esteem and anxiety. Dating apps are exactly that but the cancer on steroids form...
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:16 AM
1

I'm so glad you found my comment helpful. 💜 Stick around this sub, there is often some great advice here, if not on cold approach specifically but just how to get into the headspace of 'winning' in dating and sex. Sometimes it helps a lot to work on self-esteem and a healthy self image. Things get much easier from there. All the best!
/r/seduction08/08/22 04:01 AM
2

It's a hard road to healthy self esteem, but you're pushing through and doing great.💜 IRL has many more positive feedback loops to build us up, especially from everyday interactions... Meanwhile on OLD I can imagine it was very hard even getting replies back on those who did match with you. So heart-crushing!
/r/seduction08/08/22 03:57 AM
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I so appreciate this post! I can't tell you how frustrating it has been over years to engage with guys only to find out that they don't like you, rather than the idea of you. It happened a few times that guys would get infatuated with me and would try to tell me what my personality was and what my values were... All while knowing NOTHING about who I was. I would get told that I am special and unlike other girls they've ever known. The more they pushed this idealized fantasy, the more I recoiled …
/r/seduction07/08/22 06:13 PM
1

Ghost her. Repeatedly failing to honour plans indicates that A) She is not invested, and B) She does not respect you or your time. Move on. There are girls out there who would be excited and happy to see you and make you a priority.
/r/seduction07/08/22 04:30 PM
1

I'm not sure I understand?
/r/seduction07/08/22 12:36 PM
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Society has always hypocritically conditioned us to be obsessed with sex, but ashamed of our sexuality. Our parents may have shamed or punished us for showing any expression of sexuality in our development. So it was pushed deep into the underground, private, and deliberately hidden. If hiding your sexuality was the only way to express it growing up, it may feel uncomfortable and scary indulging in it out in the open.
/r/seduction07/08/22 12:23 PM
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"I am finding myself in the mood for good 'ole suck job. Will you make your mouth available for the task?"
/r/seduction07/08/22 10:32 AM
1

Good luck! 😊
/r/seduction07/08/22 09:47 AM
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Bravo, I'm so glad you made this realization. I think OLD is fueling a serious self-esteem problem in young men nowadays. So many defeated and saddened guys post in this sub citing their failure at OLD as evidence that they are not (and will never, ever be) attractive. Such an awful disservice.
/r/seduction07/08/22 09:46 AM
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Nothing to do with you and everything to do with the unnatural and disconnected nature of OLD. Tinder etc. are pretty much meat catalogues. There is fuckall to really connect with and incite curiosity, especially for women as we are most attracted to what arouses us mentally. In-person gives us plenty to be attacted to, because 90% of all human communication is non-verbal. Your PRESENCE is what puts you on our radar: Confidence, comfort, invitation, curiosity, the way you articulate your ideas w…
/r/seduction07/08/22 07:39 AM
1

Thank you kindly!
/r/seduction07/08/22 06:07 AM
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Show attraction by all means! But do not fawn over her, smother her, compliment her sycophantically or mythologize her by putting her on a pedestal. She needs to know your intent, and expressing attraction lets her know that the game is on. Women want to feel your sexual energy, and a big part of that is A) expressing interest directly, and B) knowing that you are sexually desirable, and carrying yourself with that energy.
/r/seduction07/08/22 06:06 AM
1

Bravo. This! Owning oneself is masculine. Curating persona's and shape-shifting is not.
/r/seduction07/08/22 06:02 AM
3

Hell no. Being serious all the time will bore women to shit, because any attempts at escalating energy and momentum in the flirtation will be shut down by you. Be authentic and engage!
/r/seduction07/08/22 06:00 AM
3

Love this reply. 😁
/r/seduction07/08/22 04:47 AM
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Risky DM's are great. 😈 But. Do not push for them too aggressively or too soon, and go for clever instead of vulgar. Innuendo is great, because her imagination will fill in the blanks. ;) If a girl can imagine herself fucking you, there's a decent chance it might actually happen.
/r/seduction07/08/22 04:41 AM
18

Well said. You caught their attention, not their decision. That's still up to you to escalate and seal the deal.
/r/seduction06/08/22 10:32 PM
7

Fuck yes, thank you for this brilliant comment. I personally have a lot of fun initiating and flirting, but if someone doesn't make moves to match my interest and intent it's game over. As much as I am direct, I still expect a man to act decisively and pull his weight. A girl approaching you is an invitation to play, not a signed deal.
/r/seduction06/08/22 10:31 PM
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Definitely don't simp or beat yourself down if things don't go as planned! However: you have mentioned that you are looking for an emotionally stable relationship. You also mentioned that you will force yourself to stay unattached, but sadly some degree of vulnerability and attachment is crucial in building a healthy, open and rewarding bond with a romantic partner. Attach, to those who have shown integrity and commitment towards you. And even when attached, practice autonomy, boundaries, and se…
/r/seduction06/08/22 09:23 PM
8

The only way to know is to test firsthand. I do think that a lot of folks find cold approach scary, and they look for those posts to validate their fears and release the pressure of trying (and possibly failing).
/r/seduction06/08/22 08:53 PM
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She's definitely not disinterested, maybe a bit flustered and very anxious. 😉 For some people, developing feelings and being vulnerable is pretty scary! Exponentially so because she hasn't been in a relationship before. She has no clue what she's doing or what she's feeling, so those "cold feet" are trying to pull her back to the harbour of safety. Cold feet or not, she wants you. You overcome this by showing her consistency. Be warm and encouraging and inviting towards her, and she will sail to…
/r/seduction06/08/22 08:49 PM
1

Go get em tiger 😉
/r/seduction06/08/22 06:44 PM
2

Awesome advice as always 😁
/r/seduction06/08/22 03:59 PM
1

Nerves 😁😂 Anxiety and excitement are physiologically almost identical. Gotta push through them jitters.
/r/seduction06/08/22 03:58 PM
3

Fuck the co-workers! My guy, it's a good sign of interest that she gave you her number instead of passively just taking yours on a piece of paper. STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT. Just ask her if she wants to go for a drink! 😁 And take it from there. Please don't make her wait.
/r/seduction06/08/22 03:55 PM
2

Yes! I'm glad you have taken the polarizing approach. Rejections will happen (and you are a badass for overcoming that!) but the positive responses are well worth it. You're doing awesome. Intuition is a great tool in your social and seduction toolbox 😁
/r/seduction06/08/22 03:43 PM
1

I also come from an abusive background and I saw someone at 21. That particular therapist just broke me more, and then simultaneously got me seeing a psychiatrist who put me on addictive sleeping pills, benzo's and antidepressant that made me question ny reality. I quit seeing her and started seeing someone else at 27, and this particular therapist changed my life. Not all of them force you to rehash trauma when you're not ready, rather than teach you the skills you need to love yourself and fee…
/r/seduction06/08/22 02:49 PM
2

That's terrible to hear. Isolation and abuse are severely traumatic... Would you consider seeing a professional? Those wounds stay raw for a lifetime if they are not assisted to heal.
/r/seduction06/08/22 02:17 PM
2

With kindness... Maybe you should work on the underlying issues here instead of focusing on women's approval. If you are having thoughts of offing yourself then it may be time to confront some very painful things, of which I can imagine low self esteem, anxiety and depression are a part of. The love and approval of women that you are craving needs to come from yourself first.
/r/seduction06/08/22 02:09 PM
1

Could you please link to your objective data? If it's any comfort, my ex was bald and my ex before that had thinning hair. I still found them gorgeous. The only possible "unattractive" thing about a balding man would be his self-judgement and insecurity. Please do not destroy your chances of success by projecting your self-consciousness onto women. Over 80% of ALL men experience significant hair loss as they age. It is an incredibly normal and natural feature of mature adulthood. I don't want to…
/r/seduction06/08/22 02:03 PM
14

More often than not it's an echo-chamber of radicalized views. Many blackpill communities are cancerous in that being constantly exposed to toxic and discouraging media can shatter one's self-perception and make them feel unsafe and victimized in the world. Yes, there is unfairness, sociopathy and shallowness in life bit there is also victory, beauty, connection and happiness. We are all accountable for where we spend our energy and what we shift our focus to. We attract what we think, and swall…
/r/seduction06/08/22 11:14 AM
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Best not to generalize. Many people have cold approach success stories, and cold approach is only harassing if you ingore a girl's uncomfortable body language or verbal declarations of non-interest. Be respectful and have fun.
/r/seduction06/08/22 11:12 AM
1

Hit the nail on the head.
/r/seduction06/08/22 05:13 AM
2

Is that so? I believe the opposite: Women tend to ask for things in a relationship, be it more emotional availability, to do more things together, to improve communication etc. It's almost a cliché that men tend to understand this as starting "drama". My ex for example shut down every attempt of mine to ask for what I needed (insults, rage) and was shocked when left. He contacted me for 6 months after the breakup asking "Is this really over? Things were never that bad." It may be possible that t…
/r/seduction06/08/22 05:07 AM
8

The reality is that there are pros and cons to each dynamic, each have tremendous benefits and losses respectively. I do agree with the poster above that it is likely true that some women want to be homemakers instead of careerwomen, but many homemakers feel understimulated, under-accomplished and isolated. My mother is one of them, submissive housewife to a T but is very ashamed that she didn't chase her other dreams in life. My dad is the sole breadwinner and is crumbling under financial stres…
/r/seduction05/08/22 08:48 PM
1

This could be it. PDA is an total no-go for certain personalities
/r/seduction05/08/22 06:13 PM
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It is a massive turn-off. We generally respect the directness and transparency, and struggle to feel enthusiastic about fence-sitting, guessing games and murky intentions. If things feel platonic, one party HAS TO escalate it in a romantic or sexual direction or things will fizzle out or get lost in the friend zone. I love 'hunting', but most women are prefer men who step up and lead. Escalation doesn't have to be in-your-face, but it should be obvious that you are attracted to her and that you …
/r/seduction05/08/22 04:16 PM
1

Most welcome 🤗
/r/seduction04/08/22 06:04 PM
1

Yes, absolutely. I tend to invest a lot in my romantic relationships and attach deeply, so breakups tend to floor me hard. It typically takes me a few months to recover, meaning no casual dating, hooking up, chatting on apps. After my 3yr+ relationship ended I took a 6 month strict hiatus before tipping my toes in the dating game again.
/r/seduction04/08/22 04:52 PM
2

There are for sure quite a few (truly) single women. You'll find that many introverts do not date for entertainment. My more bubbly and extroverted friends always seem to have dates or a guy they are talking to.
/r/seduction04/08/22 04:15 PM
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You are doing great 💜 Congrats on all these constructive changes!
/r/seduction04/08/22 03:40 AM
2

He seems too scared to try. This whole "creep" discourse feels like armor to protect him from taking those scary risks and facing possible rejection.
/r/seduction03/08/22 08:06 PM
1

God yes, I love this. Those moments of authenticity (vulnerability) are still bold in their own way. It's a risk to be that real and some women will definitely be attracted to it.
/r/seduction03/08/22 08:01 PM
1

Hahaha. You've condensed it down to a science here! 😂🤭
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:34 PM
2

If you are on high alert, your target will default to high alert as well. It's not that they make moral judgements on you that you are a creep, they just mirror your discomfort back at you. This will happen in any social context. It may help to treat some of the underlying causes of the nervousness. Assess your self esteem honestly. How do you perceive yourself? Unlearn sexual shame and cease labeling yourself a creep. You are not a creep, you are a man with sexual desires and needs for intimacy…
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:31 PM
2

Thank you kindly! Just a thought on Authenticity: To be who you are and not give a fuck about other's approval is innately sexy and magnetic. Presenting yourself without apology (total self-acceptance, quiet confidence) can even make your eccentricities or flaws attractive and endearing. The flawed man who is brave enough to be himself will always be more attractive than an insecure man curates a different personality to impress every woman he meets. I love your functions analogy on escalation, …
/r/seduction03/08/22 03:02 PM
18

Ah, lucky you! That is very fortunate 😊 I can only relate to feeling and carrying myself with a lot more confidence. I unfortunately struggled with very poor health between 17 and 24. The stress did a number on my body. I don't look bad at all but I look my age. 😉 And I love and accept it. Thankfully my physical health is impeccable now. I look older but I feel younger than I did as a 19 year old.
/r/seduction03/08/22 12:18 PM
2

Haha, I'm not against your stance at all, was just curious 😉 What is your age if I may ask? I myself am in many ways complex. So long as I keep learning and challenging myself, I find new aspects of my personality to enjoy. If there is something I want from life, I orient my persona to be optimized for it. I wear whatever hat I need to. But at the same time I am anchored firmly by my core values. I grow within the sphere of traits that I would feel proud of and fight hard against deviating. I on…
/r/seduction03/08/22 11:00 AM
1

Beautifully written - this is probably the best comment I've seen on this topic. I hope more people see this.
/r/seduction03/08/22 06:52 AM
6

Oh gosh, not always! Some people regress heavily as they get older. We all start out ignorant, self-centered and immature but to some degree bright eyed and bushy tailed. We may be idealists or have big dreams. Life tends to shatter certain delusions in front of our eyes, through trauma, betrayal, failure, illness, tragedy and more. People tend to face a crossroad as they age: A) Becoming wiser, stronger and more grateful from their failures, or B) Becoming cynical, defeated and bitter. Unfortun…
/r/seduction03/08/22 06:38 AM
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It's not too surprising - as we age, we either get better or bitter. I'll be the first to admit that I am not as beautiful as I was at 19-22, but at the time I was emotionally chaotic, insecure, and didn't know what I wanted. I'm 28 now and I'm thankful for the past few years from a personal growth perspective. Experience, challenge and loss have forced me to grow into a person I would actually like to be around now. For starters I've grown inner security, I've become empathetic and warm, accept…
/r/seduction03/08/22 05:08 AM
5

My two cents: Be patient and even compassionate with yourself while you deal with your heartbreak. Don't feel pressured to hop into the scene again immediately; process your tough emotions, remind yourself of what you value, and fortify your self confidence again. Engage in physical exercise, work on a hobby or passion, journal. Self care. Return when you feel 'strong'. Realistically, developing emotional bonds is scary. Vulnerability always has the potential to hurt deeply.
/r/seduction03/08/22 04:40 AM
1

The term is overused. Being 'sensitive' is actually a significant strength, so long as you maintain iron boundaries and carry yourself with power.
/r/seduction03/08/22 04:34 AM
2

Why so though?
/r/seduction02/08/22 09:39 PM
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Great question. The following turns me off: 1. Unwillingness to lead. It becomes tiresome to have to do all the legwork in sustaining conversations, planning dates, and making decisions. Show some decisiveness, we respect it. 2. Inauthenticity. Most intelligent women will struggle to relate to you if they pick up you are curating a personality. Boldly and proudly be who you are. This will polarize some women but other will adore you for it. Authenticity is courageous. 3. Inconsistency: Again, in…
/r/seduction02/08/22 09:39 PM
3

Move on if her uncertainty becomes a pattern. Sometimes people are genuinely busy or have personal things to deal with, so be lenient but cut her off if her tone in the next few interactions is wishy-washy.
/r/seduction02/08/22 09:21 PM
1

So correct! It will be a carrot on a stick basically, and without self knowledge people tend to fall into the same negative relationships over and over again. Time to build a solid foundation. Without it, anything we try to build will be unstable.
/r/seduction02/08/22 09:13 PM
1

Do you know what you admire in a woman on a deeper level? What makes a good partner? Keep and eye on the apathy and depression: they can damage your ability to feel pleasure and interest, and your ability to bond and feel empathy and love. Make the relationship you have with yourself rock solid.
/r/seduction02/08/22 09:05 PM
7

Bravo. Our relationship with ourselves determines the relationships we have with others. Self knowledge is powerful.
/r/seduction02/08/22 08:50 PM
5

How well do you know yourself? Write down your top 10 personal values. (E.g. Happiness, Integrity, Health, Humility, Ambition, Power, Love, Spirituality, the list goes on.) Next, for each value, write down: How you define that value and why it is important to you. 10 positive practical examples of how to perform that value in everyday life. 10 behaviours that are the opposite of that value. Don't underestimate how illuminating this activity is. Once you know exactly what you stand for, you are a…
/r/seduction02/08/22 08:47 PM
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Women don't think or operate the same way men do. We generally do not scout for 'options' when we are out and about, and most men (even conventionally attractive ones) do not catch our interest unless they give us some human connection to pique our curiosity. Playful and light cold approaches will put you on a woman's radar instead of having her pass you by.
/r/seduction02/08/22 03:42 PM
9

Very good perspective and I can relate. It feels unsettling when a guy clearly is infatuated with an idea of you rather than getting to know you gradually, in all your flawed humanness. To be out on a pedestal makes me feel either slightly insulted (I am not a projection) or like an imposter. Yet here I am preaching while having terrible one-itis at the same time. Best follow my own advice. 😂
/r/seduction01/08/22 07:42 PM
15

I'd argue that a mindset first approach helps desires to materialize into reality. It sounds cliche but the brain is amazingly malleable.
/r/seduction01/08/22 05:51 PM
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And it cannot be created?
/r/seduction01/08/22 04:54 PM
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Being transparent would be the most ethical option. You describe yourself as tender, affectionate and nurturing. Those traits tend to accelerate attachment and due to their inherent intimacy, women could mistake them as signs of something 'deeper' developing.
/r/seduction01/08/22 02:47 PM
1

In a romantic context, I'm not sure how objective or truthful your recieved responses would be. There are often a myriad reasons that a date or relationship didn't work out, and the majority are internal as opposed to external. Humans are self-centered creatures. Sometimes its nothing you did "wrong", as opposed to: Your date's personal preferences Incompatible love languages Mismatched interests Mismatched values Seeing the relationship through the lense of insecurities, personal attitudes and …
/r/seduction01/08/22 01:03 PM
1

Would yoy change your perspective if it meant it could save your life?
/r/seduction31/07/22 12:33 PM
6

If you believe that, you will have a low self worth your entire life. The vicious circle is that low self esteem cripples your capacity to make accomplishments in life, which in turn solidifies your low self esteem. It renders a person too petrified of failure to try, persist, venture or actually even succeed. RE WOMEN: As long as you link your value to external validation from women, they will not find you attractive. Firstly, low self esteem breeds desperation which can be detected immediately…
/r/seduction31/07/22 06:53 AM
1

You deserve someone who matches your energy and interest. She seems disinterested in actually doing anything with you, can't communicate well either. Franky if a chick keeps you around as a texting buddy and doesn't follow through on your escalations to in-person plans she is not worth running after. You are already coming from a place of some emotional involvement (lowered confidence, infatuation, thinking about how 'not' to develop feelings), so to me it makes more sense to know exactly what y…
/r/seduction31/07/22 06:08 AM
10

Some women prefer you to lead the dance, and they follow. I personally don't mind making plans, but despise if I have to make the majority of plans.
/r/seduction31/07/22 06:02 AM
7

Your value is inherent and not dependent on women's (or ANYONE'S) opinion. Conquer your low self esteem and you will be treated better by everyone in every sphere of your life.
/r/seduction31/07/22 05:27 AM
1

Damn! Well done then. As much as it is good, we need to pinpoint what in your dates is going wrong. How is your flirting style? Describe your typical date?
/r/seduction30/07/22 01:00 PM
3

That is terribly frustrating. OP, were all 80 girls from online dating?
/r/seduction30/07/22 12:08 PM
11

Sage advice! I concur. My feeling about the situation is that OP's approach may have been too aggressive. Even if some good chemistry exists, escalating too quickly can be intimidating or trigger internal defense systems in a woman. You need to balance the interactions with other elements of connection (intellectual and emotional) and tease physical touch slowly to establish safety and encourage her appetite. Neglecting to do that will automatically trigger her to slam the brakes.
/r/seduction30/07/22 12:04 PM
3

I personally wouldn't passionately tongue kiss someone just to be "nice" to them, haha.
/r/seduction30/07/22 11:54 AM
1

Wholesome! Congratulations, I wish you loads of love and happiness to come. 😁
/r/seduction30/07/22 11:43 AM
8

A lot of "game" strategies are specifically optimized for closing ONS and casual dating. Slow it down on your side. This is doable, especially if you know and understand the power you wield the dynamic. Catch her attention, flirt a bit and create chemistry by all means. But show interest in her as a human being and allow her to peer into you. Inbetween building chemistry, allow for some sweetness and tenderness. Stay authentic instead of invincible. And if you end up sleeping with your crush, do…
/r/seduction29/07/22 09:58 PM
13

I'm saying this kindly: its possible that those painful and lonely years of your life have scarred you a bit emotionally. You deeply desire intimacy, but you have built a lifestyle that shuts down the chances. Address these wounds. Many girls would want nothing more than to cuddle after sex, and kiss you and cradle you and stroke your hair. But let them. The person who you had sex with is an entire human being, just as fragile, just as scared as you are. Many can pick up the judgement.
/r/seduction29/07/22 09:55 PM
10

Arguably... You need to change your approach then. You know how to get sex, but do you know how to connect with someone? Invite vulnerability? Delight in another human being for their existence and nothing else? You need to understand and accept the human condition: we all (men and women alike) have appetites for emotional love and sex. Beautiful romances are created as a merging of the two, and therefore it is unhelpful to view a partner as "tarnished" because they liked you enough to share the…
/r/seduction29/07/22 09:42 PM
1

"Not my zoo, not my monkeys." Remind yourself.
/r/seduction29/07/22 03:17 PM
6

Exactly: it is paramount to practice boundaries. As someone who has dealt wigh energy vampires and complainers, we need to take accountability for volunteering ourselves to enable such behaviour. Draw a line.
/r/seduction29/07/22 03:16 PM
2

Don't be humble. TAKE the compliment, with a big, warm "Thank you!" I have massive oneitis for a guy who I think is gorgeous and incredibly intelligent and interesting. I can't help myself from giving him genuine compliments, but so far he has rebuffed every single one and downplays himself and even his value to me. This hasn't affected my attraction toward him in a negative way, but it does frustrate me because my bids for connection and deliberate displays of interest are getting shut down. I …
/r/seduction29/07/22 08:02 AM
12

swoons
/r/seduction28/07/22 05:34 PM
7

Fantastic comment, you get it.
/r/seduction27/07/22 01:20 PM
1

I think it's very cringe too. I enjoy several kinks but "daddy dom" and any incest play make me dryer than the sahara lol. I think in OP's case it's better to approach a woman based on her personality and visual cues of interest. Once the initial sexual rapport is built then there is more wiggle room for testing more specific fantasies.
/r/seduction27/07/22 12:41 PM
4

Haha, yes and no! That longer term (deeper) connection is a nice to have but not mandatory. Other than that it's a luck of the draw numbers game, to meet someone who expresses their attraction the most via touch. Personally I'm a HUGE touch person - I could know someone minimally, but if the initial atrraction is there I can't get my hands off of them 🌝
/r/seduction27/07/22 07:16 AM
–

Ah no, seriously? You just need to meet a 'cuddler', some people's love language is physical touch ☺️ but as OP mentioned, it helps to build trust, safety and connection. In many ways, cuddling can be more intimate than sex itself.
/r/seduction27/07/22 05:04 AM
–

Your sense of self awareness is really good. These wounds can be very deep and painful, are you perhaps in therapy?
/r/seduction27/07/22 04:11 AM
–

Not everyone enjoys being called "mommy", it is absolutely not a shit test. I personally don't mind porn but in this instance try to 'deporn' your brain a bit. She wants to be seen as a woman rather than a "MILF", and she wants to be seen as a potential lover rather than your "mommy". The milf/incest things are fetishizing and won't work unless she is explicitly into that.
/r/seduction27/07/22 04:02 AM
1

Sorry that happened to you, was a really shitty move. Its not okay to play people like that. I read in one of your replies that you ended things with her, that's really good. As much as it may sting, you stood up for your dignity and dodged a bullet. You deserve better and I'm glad you know it.
/r/seduction26/07/22 10:46 AM
0

Free will and accountability exist. They are adults.
/r/seduction25/07/22 04:58 AM
1

Thank you so much.
/r/seduction25/07/22 04:50 AM
2

Be secure in yourself, you don't need strangers to validate (or judge) your attraction toward a woman of a certain size. You like who you like. Honour that and own it.
/r/seduction24/07/22 07:44 PM
7

This is it. Women tend to choose you before you choose them. Focus on the receptive ones, and take their warm responses as a green light to keep escalating.
/r/seduction24/07/22 07:36 PM
–

Connection implies sexual tension. Be mindful of your body language, and study hers and adjust accordingly. Small changes like prolonging eye concact or strategic teasing touches can drive a woman nuts. Flirt a little more inbetween your 'get to know' conversation, and engage playfulness. Tease her, in a good natured way that invites her to play back. We are first and foremost sexual beings. Own that energy, by believing in your desirability and sexual power.
/r/seduction24/07/22 07:34 PM
–

Wonderful guide, I appreciate that the cornerstone is building fulfillment and happiness in one's own capacity before even considering the opposite sex. Huge props for authenticity too. I wish you the best!
/r/seduction24/07/22 07:30 PM
–

I wish I had any bulletproof advice, but I do want to say you are not alone in feeling the way you do. Sometimes it feels like of you can't be authentic, then maybe there is no point in any of this. Being vulnerable is pretty damn brave, but realistically not everyone will honour this. Just so you know, you deserve better than to become attached to a girl who is messing around with you but farming attention from other men at the same time. Nothing good can come of that situation because it is ap…
/r/seduction23/07/22 08:53 PM
2

I feel that. I've walked the friendzone territory only twice and to say it's dreadful is putting it lightly. Pretty much battery acid to a person's confidence and self esteem, not to mention having to swallow that constant, latent heartache whenever you see that person you so badly want, but is always out of your reach. Walking away from cycles that no longer serve us is a massive win for self-respect and personal happiness. So in that regard I am really happy for you - and I really hope you wil…
/r/seduction23/07/22 08:06 PM
1

I'm not entirely sure, but I think this sub may have some detailed guides on that particular approach. It will be quite hard getting through to her now I think, moreso than it was before.
/r/seduction23/07/22 03:31 PM
–

Your choice is absolutely valid and well done for setting that personal boundary. Staying friends with someone in an unrequited feelings situation is soul destroying. Basically a constant reminder of how you're not 'good enough' whenever you see them, especially when they are dating others - and that's very painful. No matter how great a person is, self-care and preservation should always come first. Life is too short to not get what you want out of your social relationships - why settle for sec…
/r/seduction23/07/22 03:26 PM
1

Damn straight! It makes you doubt the entire friendship's validity and even the goodness of people in general 😬 it doesn't feel right to keep people around solely for validation and attention, or in hopes you'll get sex some time or another. Friendship is supposed to be about simply appreciating another person for who they are, not what you can get. That kind of thing hurts like hell and back. I hope you cultivate many more quality friendships though! 💜
/r/seduction23/07/22 02:26 PM
2

OP I think that's the problem. Girls who are inundated with male attention (more specifically a lot of "orbiters" in her direct social circle) tend not to appreciate even direct and bold approaches because they could have their pick of an entire platter of men at any given time. A distant approach works better with these women because it is 'different' from what they are so used to. Like you, I can't do games, its not in my DNA. I think it would be better to go for a woman who doesn't have guys …
/r/seduction23/07/22 02:05 PM
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This post is in essence why I stopped keeping male friends at age 21, (and I don't mean that in a bad way whatsoever!) Many men are absolutely incredible people, but I suspect that biological differences make opposite sex friendships complicated and I have made the decision to no longer partake in them. Some studies have demonstrated that men struggle to unsee their platonic female friends as 'sexual opportunities', meanwhile women are capable of having purely platonic attachments to male friend…
/r/seduction23/07/22 12:19 PM
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Bingo - They are Avoidant attachers. They only enjoy romance and feel love if there is no threat of being "engulfed" or tied down. Its basically all fun and games until you mention commitment, love, or anything of emotional depth. Avoiding vulnerability and creating space feels safe for them. The real question is though: is there any reason why you are going for this type of woman specifically? Rather than the types of women who are looking for commitment and vulnerability from the get go?
/r/seduction23/07/22 12:04 PM
1

Does she have a lot of male friends?
/r/seduction23/07/22 11:59 AM
4

It's a bit pathological of her to pick at your insecurities. She knows what she's doing, and yes, playing her at her own game will probably work. But is playing games and being manipulative "you"? Be careful of becoming a person you don't like just to keep someone else invested. People who enjoy that kind of shit tend to be chronically bored, so it will ever stop.
/r/seduction23/07/22 06:23 AM
1

It depends. Some women flee and some are extremely attracted to what is a bold and direct move. What was her response?
/r/seduction23/07/22 06:03 AM
–

Hmm, what mental stuff specifically? Does he mean sex affected his emotions towards you?
/r/seduction22/07/22 07:11 PM
1

Ah, I'm glad to hear! Have fun! There are so many ways to explore this 😊
/r/seduction22/07/22 06:57 PM
1

It all depends on context. Those examples you mentioned were not self-deprecating IMO, just honest. You've made no negative value assessments of yourself or your desirability, you just showed that you are open and stick to facts. I like this and find the openness attractive. Just don't sell yourself short in other regards, be open about your strengths as well. The self-deprecating behaviour you should avoid is making (mean) jokes at your own expense, shutting down flirting and rebuffing complime…
/r/seduction21/07/22 11:31 PM
6

Beautifully said. Good sex is all about letting our guards down and being raw and honest.
/r/seduction21/07/22 11:08 PM
–

Get creative and dig into the deeper psychology of sex. Make him feel powerful, admired, and adored. You don't have to use any crass or degrading language to do that 😊
/r/seduction21/07/22 11:07 PM
8

Not at all. Sex is it's own 'universe' in a relationship and many bedroom practices stay in the bedroom. You can be a lady in the streets and a freak between the sheets, and if he's worth keeping around he will let you express yourself sexually without judgement.
/r/seduction21/07/22 11:04 PM
1

So true!
/r/seduction21/07/22 10:58 PM
2

Even if the age of consent is 16 in your country, adults who sexually pursue minors who are still in school are not right in their heads. Every kid in HS believes they are "mature", but the reality is that a 20, 30 or 40yo woman is light-years away from you in cognitive maturity and life experience. I am not saying this in a cruel way, but please allow yourself time to be a kid and grow into yourself. Adults who pursue kids in school are usually looking for a "toy", not an equal.
/r/seduction21/07/22 07:22 PM
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Not a gent but I'll offer my humble experience trying to navigate dating in hookup culture. I don't just like sex, I adore sex. I'm horny all the damn time. But as demanding as my appetite is, I don't want sex if there isn't some level of deeper connection behind it. When I undress someone and make love to them, I want to undress and make love to their entire 'soul' as well. The experience should be vulnerable, trusting and honest - no pretense, no social mask, and most importantly, no internal …
/r/seduction21/07/22 06:19 PM
1

A dead bedroom relationship is painful to be in, but intimacy problems are always a two-way street. From your replies, it feels as if you have long mentally checked out of the relationship and are fantasizing about lining up "options" and living a non-monogamous lifestyle. I would usually recommend communication, courtship, re-bonding and even couple's therapy but if your heart isn't in it it's best not to waste your time or her's. Break up with her and live the life that would make you happiest…
/r/seduction21/07/22 04:44 PM
1

Be civil and treat others the way you want to be treated (practice basic empathy). Be generous but set and uphold boundaries. Put in effort and energy but never more than what you are getting back (balance). Be express gratitude and appreciation when someone is good to you. Be vocal about it. Consider different perspectives, and remain true to your beliefs simultaneously.
/r/seduction21/07/22 01:06 PM
8

Yikes. Your response was perfect!
/r/seduction21/07/22 01:00 PM
2

Hell yes! Please!
/r/seduction21/07/22 12:57 PM
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Hahaha, oh I can relate so much! 😂 Like you, I am a massively happy and chirpy person and can't really temper my excitement, ever. No such thing as 'playing it cool / hard to get' in my books, if I'm attracted to someone I am very flirty, warm and direct. Unfortunately you are correct in your assumption that some girls will get turned off by this. It's nothing you did wrong and she did nothing wrong, she just did not share your perspective or reality and found you hard to relate to as a result. …
/r/seduction21/07/22 12:57 PM
2

She likes you 🤭😉 Make a move.
/r/seduction21/07/22 12:29 PM
5

How was her tone? Did she say it in a condescending and cold way or a flirty and playful way?
/r/seduction21/07/22 12:27 PM
–

This is the best answer by far. What's a big deal to you is likely not very noticeable to others. It just feels that way because we tend to project our insecurities (especially) into people we want to impress, and that's what would hurt someone's success in approaching. Unrelated from OP's post but if you miss your full beard, would you consider trying Minoxidil? Google some before an afters, many men were able to grow a beard and stache for the first time in their lives. Works well for beard pa…
/r/seduction21/07/22 03:53 AM
1

Depending on what it is, it still might be salvageable if cut short by a good barber. If all else fails, beanie/hat until it grows out a bit or OP. It varies among individuals but some guys look great with a shaved head too. Worth a shot.
/r/seduction21/07/22 03:46 AM
4

Poor emotional processing, sometimes feelings of entitlement.
/r/seduction21/07/22 03:43 AM
–

Hmm. Could you elaborate? What is wrong with the cut exactly?
/r/seduction20/07/22 04:41 PM
10

Hahaha. I wonder if I do that 🤔 eye contact can be a bid for intimate connection - maybe she wants a "good girl" or some affection after going down on you, but from what you've written in your post it seems like post orgasm there is no incentive for you to connect. Acknowledge her, she did do something just for your pleasure. 😊
/r/seduction20/07/22 04:22 PM
3

That is absolutely disgusting behaviour and you didn't deserve it in the slightest. 😔 Sorry, OP. I know its easy to say "don't take it personally, she was just a cunt" but this kind of thing can trigger some deeper wounds. I can't imagine how awful that must have felt! Fight against those feelings of unworthiness please. You are not the problem and nor is your appearance, you just had the misfortune of running into an exceptionally malicious and bitter person. I'm telling you now - even if that …
/r/seduction20/07/22 03:44 PM
1

Oh god, long story. Relationship was wonderful for a year, basically 2 people very much in love. My ex deeply struggled with feelings of financial/success inadequacy because he had an extremely critical and status obsessed father. About 1.5yrs into our relationship he ran into a number of career problems while my career took off rapidly (growing income divide). My ex started acting out very badly after that point. He went from loving and protective to distant and critical. The more he withdrew a…
/r/seduction20/07/22 03:01 PM
2

Some people find peace boring. I couldn't imagine having this kind of drama in my life : Yelling, intimidating, mean attitudes, competition and constant one-upmanship... Do what makes you happy though.
/r/seduction20/07/22 11:22 AM
2

Yes! Fuck yes.
/r/seduction19/07/22 04:10 PM
1

Thanks for the thoughtful reply 😊 I've thought about yours and would like your viewpoint: What do you think of the idea of 'the party who cares less holds the most power' as a unisex concept? The reason I ask is because my experience of being the 'chaser' in my romantic pursuits over the span of a decade doesn't quite match your theory that men are happier with women being the chasers - on the contrary, putting men on a pedestal and doing the majority of the romantic labour in relationships cons…
/r/seduction19/07/22 03:45 PM
1

No. Any relationship where one party consistently has to carry 90% of the effort will fail. Even natural hunter/pursuers will grow tired of settling for breadcrumbs off your table. It is only natural for any person who respects themselves to back out.
/r/seduction19/07/22 03:28 PM
1

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MFHkLkEleGA 😂😂
/r/seduction18/07/22 08:21 PM
1

No. Some women are not affectionate whatsoever, but many are incredibly affectionate and love hugs, cuddles, and caresses. It is a matter of personal preference and depends on the individual, humans don't come from cookie-cutters. I once dated a guy who disliked physical affection and liked rough/impersonal sex (which sucked), but it would be irrational of me to assert that all men hate hugs and kisses because I had one cold former boyfriend. Please read up on the 5 Love Languages. Each person (…
/r/seduction18/07/22 09:27 AM
1

I mean, there is a chance you are right! You can shoot your shot and re-open communication from your side. But I still feel that if she had something going on, she should have still let you know.
/r/seduction18/07/22 06:24 AM
3

I will just preface this by saying that its okay to feel the way you do - being ghosted hurts, but being ghosted by someone you felt connected to can feel like a gut punch or a blade in your chest. I've read your post and contrary to what another commentor mentioned, your behaviour wasn't "beta" or "niceguy", it reads as genuine, appropriate and definitely not "too much". I don't believe you did anything wrong here. I will share something with you that I wish I had learnt many years earlier: Som…
/r/seduction17/07/22 08:08 PM
5

I love this sub for posts like these. Well done! Courage is pushing past the fear being vulnerable, and even though it's never easy, you've done it anyway. I commend your confidence and growth! 💜
/r/seduction17/07/22 05:09 PM
1

Hm, why so? ☺️🤷‍♀️
/r/seduction17/07/22 05:04 PM
6

I definitely agree!
/r/seduction17/07/22 06:25 AM
3

The "fat guy personality" is low self esteem. Low self esteem is not a personality archetype, and can be worked on while a person is 100% authentic. "Fake it till you make it" is not the remedy to this problem. Practicing assertiveness, responsibility, purpose, self-acceptance, integrity and self-awareness is.
/r/seduction17/07/22 06:23 AM
1

Here's an argument: your confidence may be "fleeting" or ephemeral because a large part of yourself does not trust that you are capable to handle the challenges of the world. Pushing through that discomfort and undertaking a task anyway is not necessarily fake, I would argue that it's courageous. Regarding actors: we all wear multiple social hats. I see the alternation of the hats as expressing different parts of ourselves to the world as needed and necessary. Social chameleoning and masking is …
/r/seduction17/07/22 06:19 AM
2

I unfortunately don't agree with this post in the slightest. ☺️ A person who is brave enough to walk the earth without masks is the textbook definition of 'give no fucks' confidence. Authenticity is magnetic, and multiple 'flaws' or quirks can be presented as a strength if you own it hard enough. If you are fully accepting of yourself, you will understand that you can be flawed AND respectable and desirable at the same time You then project this inner-fortitude outward and other people in multip…
/r/seduction17/07/22 06:06 AM
–

Gonna play devil's advocate 😉 But what is "generically" attractive may not necessarily match an individual's personal taste. For example, just because an insta-thot would be rated a 8-9 by tens of thousands of men on social media a dude still might swipe left on her in favour for a pretty girl next door type. Same with girls swiping left on muscle monkey chads with 6-pack abs photos on Tinder. It's nothing personal or judgmental, some people just want something 'else'.
/r/seduction17/07/22 05:38 AM
4

I'm 5'5" and wouldn't mind dating a guy who is 5'6". I dated a guy who was also 5'5". My mom is also significantly taller than my dad. Height doesn't matter to everybody, but you feel it's detrimental to your success, find ways of investing in your looks. A good resistance training program at gym is very worthwhile and will boost your confidence big time 😊
/r/seduction16/07/22 04:05 PM
1

I think there is a language barrier 😊 I am not shaming anybody. 💜 I actually share your opinion that a girl who turns down a guy only for this reason is shallow, and that OP mustn't feel pressured to leave home just so he can have a relationship. Most women are okay with this, we understand the cost of living.
/r/seduction16/07/22 03:52 PM
1

No need to get offensive. 😊 I understand that the setup you are talking about (girl marries, moves into her husband's parents house and lives with all of them) is normal in certain countries and cultures. In the USA, Europe, Australia and even where I live in South Africa, it is very common for both male and female children to move out from their parent's house when they turn 18. I answered OP assuming this was the culture of the country he grew up in, hence why he was nervous staying at home wa…
/r/seduction16/07/22 03:43 PM
1

I can only offer this perceptive from personal experience. Avoiding lengthy examples, here's what I've observed: A guy may struggle with a deficit in self esteem in some area (for example, he doesn't feel he looks attractive, has trust issues, doesn't feel successful enough). A woman in a relationship may succeed him in this area (is attractive, earns more, gets a lot of male attention) which triggers feelings of anxiety. When a trigger arises, testing behaviour tends to follow. I believe the su…
/r/seduction16/07/22 09:57 AM
1

To my understanding, they are "reaction" bait. It's a social challenge to gauge the power dynamic, check your internal congruence and see what they can get away with. A girl will shit test in the courtship phase to test your confidence. A guy might shit test in the relationship phase if his own sense of confidence has been compromised. If I am wrong, I would appreciate another explanation as maybe I am misreading the concept.
/r/seduction16/07/22 07:56 AM
4

Just keep looking until you find a woman who matches your criteria. A woman who comes across as masculine can't be "talked" out of it. For all you know it might be her natural personality or the result of years of her holding a radical political belief system. To insist that a woman change her personality for you, is to insist on having an inauthentic (and eventually resentful) partner. It's simply not sustainable. Statistically, most women do not identify as "third wave feminists" (at least not…
/r/seduction16/07/22 07:46 AM
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You are most welcome OP! Okay, that's great news! 😁🤗 Then fear not, if you don't have a domineering "helicopter" family, living at home will not be an issue. If a girl overlooks you for your (extremely) financially smart decision, then she is seriously not worth the effort in the first place - you don't want someone shallow or lacking in basic common sense. Haha, your mom is being a typical mom here! If you don't act the part of baby then you're good! All the best, hope you find a lovely lady so…
/r/seduction16/07/22 06:34 AM
1

Respectfully: Hell no! All social interactions are an exchange of power. If (insecure) men feel threatened, they will shit test a woman to Peru and back. Men with inner security feel no need to play stupid games.
/r/seduction16/07/22 06:23 AM
1

Absolutely, yes. Many men are extremely insecure and feel the need to test their power in a relationship.
/r/seduction16/07/22 06:21 AM
2

Christ, yes. Men definitely shit test too, my ex certainly did, and my ex before that (to a much lesser degree). So basically, I was a doormat for some part of my previous relationship and decided to stop simping and eating shit. This made my former partner extremely insecure and he started shit testing me constantly to see if he still held the majority share of power in our micro-interactions. It pretty much manifested as persistent passive aggression, sudden withdrawals of affection and basic …
/r/seduction16/07/22 06:17 AM
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It depends - In many places it is culturally normal to live with one's parents well into adulthood. My personal opinion: It makes good financial sense to save up and not lose a chunk of your salary to rent every month. I've dated a guy living at home, and there were pro's and con's. The benefit was that I loved his family to bits. I thoroughly enjoyed chatting to them and cooking for them. Visiting my ex was always fun and felt like seeing family of my own. The pitfalls were: No privacy. His par…
/r/seduction16/07/22 04:58 AM
3

Just do it 😁 It's not a trite, over-used and low effort compliment (like most compliments focusing exclusively on a girl's appearance) and will not appear needy or simpish. If good culinary taste is a common interest between both of you, use it to your advantage. Engage with her and connect with her. I'm very much into culinary arts and gastronomy, and would feel appreciative and engaged if I received a "foodie" related compliment. Compliments on talents and interests work because most women get…
/r/seduction14/07/22 02:31 PM
171

Approach, approach, approach! The distinct pro here is that older women are generally much more 'owning' of their sexuality than younger girls, and are direct about what they want. There's MUCH less "I wanna fuck him, but my body is gross and I don't want him to think I'm a slut... 🥺👉👈" insecurity BS. Careful of catching feels though, a cougar's young male companion is called a "boy toy" for a reason. Just have fun.
/r/seduction14/07/22 06:24 AM
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Really? This is so interesting. Ive always known that hormonal fluctuations lower serotonin production in women (which is why many women struggle badly with depression, anxiety, poor sleep and irritability during PMS) but had no clue that it was much lower across the board. Though I must say, I do feel that mood differences and a need for validation are 2 entirely different animals! For a person struggling from a neuro-chemically induced 'low', very little can actually make them feel better. Hun…
/r/seduction14/07/22 05:11 AM
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Haha, first of all, masterful use of imagery 😂😂 "😍😘↪️🍑🤳✨", bam, validation! I concur that external validation for a pretty (big emphasis on young) girl comes as easy as McDonalds delivered to her doorstep, although not everyone feels good when all they are noticed for is for their looks. Men have to work harder for external recognition in the areas that society deems most important for men, namely status and wealth. A dude blessed with good genetics will still get external validation effortlessl…
/r/seduction13/07/22 12:58 PM
1

Yes, set up the date as soon as possible IMO. Texting back and forth between a screen harms human connection more than it helps, and women are likely to lose interest especially if you met her on Tinder or OLD. If that's the case, she is likely chatting to a few guys. Differentiate yourself by being direct about what you want, and taking initiative.
/r/seduction13/07/22 04:05 AM
1

Yes! You nailed it.
/r/seduction13/07/22 03:50 AM
7

Yes, Field Reports and pickup are one form of social validation of the ego (among thousands).
/r/seduction13/07/22 03:47 AM
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You are correct, I am. 😉 The point stands though - plenty of human behaviour is motivated by validation of ego via external factors. The 'channels' differ from person to person, for one person it could be male attention, for another it could be having the bragging rights of sleeping with a new girl every week. Not to mention all the ways people validate their ego's with displays of material wealth, social prestige etc. 80% of the posts on Reddit are folks seeking some level of ideological or emo…
/r/seduction13/07/22 03:44 AM
1

You are so welcome! DM me if you would like the .epub link as well ☺️ I really hope it helps.
/r/seduction12/07/22 09:06 PM
2

I do agree that OP has bigger relationship and attraction problems than the physical motions of sex, 100%. Though I do unfortunately disagree that self-exploration defacto entails promiscuity. All humans sexually explore themselves and find out what their bodies respond to best, and that's okay. Masturbation is normal and healthy and so is wanting a happy sex life with a loved one.
/r/seduction12/07/22 08:27 PM
3

My guess here is that the guy is struggling with confidence in (and perhaps outside) the bedroom. He started at a low point, and has probably picked up that his girl is losing attraction to him which is making the issue exponentially worse. He's afraid to take ownership of his sexuality because he's afraid to make 'mistakes', and all of the push of instructional articles/videos and requests make sex a performance instead of an opportunity to let his wild, untamed and honest side out. I'm getting…
/r/seduction12/07/22 08:20 PM
1

Overall, what things could you summarize as being the "problems" here? You mentioned the sex is not too good, but what exactly is lacking? Confidence? Initiative? Is he passive and nervous? If so, would you be willing to help him get though this? Is it his technique? Are you missing a little 'danger' and maybe want to try roleplay and kink? Could it be that a lack of chemistry outside of the bedroom has leaked into your sex life?
/r/seduction12/07/22 08:12 PM
2

I had the same battle for years until I found this excellent book (free on YouTube) : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mfFUVnwCNVY I'm generally skeptical of the 'self-help' genre, but The 6 Pillars of Self Esteem forced me to turn my life around and its better now than I could have ever imagined. Its not at all a feel-good-about-yourself gimmick, rather than an intense programme to teach people the confidence foundation they never got. It breaks it down into a practical science of behaving with Co…
/r/seduction12/07/22 07:46 PM
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It's not necessarily bad, its human nature to want to feel sexually desired. Indulge in validation from girls, but always remember that 95% of all validation you get should be from yourself ☺️ That independence and security is ironically very magnetic: tell yourself you are desirable, and others will notice and reflect that energy toward you.
/r/seduction12/07/22 06:26 PM
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It's only "creepy" if you persist after she expresses disinterest. Direct intent =/= sexual coercion or vulgarity, its a plain statement of interest which the girl can take or leave. Hovering over someone who is visibly uncomfortable make it a social faux pas.
/r/seduction12/07/22 05:40 PM
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Hard to say. Some women are toxic (always cultivating options, threatening breakups, cheating, manipulating) and other women adore their partners, work hard to keep their them happy and are fiercely loyal to them even when the going gets tough. The factors that determine the above are empathy (or lack there-of), security/insecurity, impulse control, character and moral principles, having healthy examples of love growing up, healthy/unhealthy emotional processing, et cetera. The behaviours you me…
/r/seduction12/07/22 05:10 PM
5

Hard to come up with specifics on the spot - It's very situational, and depends a lot on the demeanor and personality of the girl and its always best to 'read' her in person first. As a general idea, flirting should feel like a game of tag and both parties should be totally aware that they are playing. The undercurrent should be playfulness, which you can guide in the direction of sexuality as you progress. The best way to do this is through banter. Make an observation about her (could be anythi…
/r/seduction11/07/22 03:25 PM
2

Yes! Brilliant comment and I agree fully! It's my honest opinion that making a first impression over text and playing 'get to know' with static messages on a screen is a MASSIVE detractor to chemistry, attraction, kinship and escalating interest. Humans are social animals, designed to 'read' massive amount of information about eachother through body language, touch, facial expression, engaging eye contact and listening to tones of voice. I mentioned to another commentor to always aim for an in-p…
/r/seduction11/07/22 02:16 PM
1

This is actually a great approach 💪 can definitely see it working, humour takes away any pressure.
/r/seduction11/07/22 02:04 PM
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Approach is everything 😁 care to share an example?
/r/seduction11/07/22 11:49 AM
1

Makes my day to read this. 🤗😊 I'm glad it's helpful, kind stranger.
/r/seduction11/07/22 10:45 AM
3

This is great though! If it works, it works. You just need the right connection. I also tend to be an enthusiastic texter, but probably wouldn't be if I were used to online dating and such.
/r/seduction10/07/22 08:35 PM
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Might be TMI but large "hung" penises generally do not make sex better for women. Porn tends to create a negative idea of what a normal penis is, and all the scripted big dick worship and fake moaning don't help either. An ex was larger than average and frankly I often grit my teeth in pain and wished it was over. On top of that, rawness and inflammation made me susceptible to UTIs which sucked. I couldn't really give great head either because I had to stop from jaw pain halfway through. Please …
/r/seduction10/07/22 08:28 PM
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I get what you're saying, but keep in mind a potential sexual/romantic partner is a very different role and dynamic vs. "gal pal bestie from highschool". 😊 You want to create sexual chemistry and curiosity in a fairly competitive dating market (assuming the girl is attractive). This is rather different than maintaining rapport and bonding in a well established friendship. Edit: Will add, I don't find much wrong with texting frequently. Just make sure that the effort and interest is balanced! Do …
/r/seduction10/07/22 07:51 PM
4

Catfishing is beyond unacceptable. You certainly didn't deserve the let down and above all the dishonesty. Was a very gross thing to do. It's normal to feel the way you do now, I would be very gutted and discouraged too. Don't feel bad for staying in either, it's important to work through things and regroup. Spend some quality time with yourself - quiet time in nature, sweat it out at the gym, reconnect with hobbies, especially ones where you create something and can look back at your handiwork …
/r/seduction10/07/22 07:38 PM
2

Hahah. 😂🤭 Damn. Well I hope you delivered.😏 I don't think we have enough context to tell you what to do here. You only mentioned sex, how well do you two get along outside of the bedroom? Does she show any signs of emotional interest, and does she have any of the qualities you actually value in a partner over a casual fwb? How long have you been talking? Yeah, would be best not to act impulsively here - make sure you're thinking with the right head!
/r/seduction10/07/22 06:56 PM
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Definitely prioritize IRL I think. 90% of all communication is non-verbal and you could probably make a lot more progress giving a strong first impression. Confidence helps a ton here. Approaching women IRL is definitely more 'scary', but confidence comes from pushing through the discomfort. You also get to practice your social skills and learn to study girls' behaviour, social cues of interest, etc. Making new friends and challenging yourself to be more social will widen your pool significantly…
/r/seduction10/07/22 06:33 PM
18

That's perfectly fine! Very normal, my texting style is the same. Was more referring to messaging a girl, getting anxious about not getting a reply immediately and then texting her again multiple times over the next hour / few hours. Basically, pushing the convo in a desperate direction with no reciprocated interest. Definitely makes girls 'flee'.
/r/seduction10/07/22 05:26 PM
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Online dating is fucking cancer, and I think it is seriously ruining men's self esteem. The sexual dynamics on those apps are so distorted, and I promise you, you should NOT believe "you" are the problem. Let me explain: An average looking woman (who won't get much attention IRL) could create a Tinder profile and get hundreds of matches and 20+ messages within a few hours. The reason for this being, men naturally play a number's game on Tinder and will match with and message many girls at a time…
/r/seduction10/07/22 05:07 PM
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It is very subjective. Some women will enjoy longer and more thoughtful responses, but you are more likely to get success with chats that are light, fun and flirty if you are in the 'beginning' stages with a girl. The goal of early courtship should always be to generate sexual chemistry, to entice curiosity, and to have fun. This sets the stage for something deeper to develop as emotional bonds form through familiarity, vulnerability, shared experience. The light banter phase is the "hook". It m…
/r/seduction10/07/22 04:42 PM
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Unfortunately low self esteem is usually obvious without having to say a single word! It manifests in behaviour, posture, fear of taking risks, fear of being authentic, etc. Luckily it can be worked on. 💜 And you'd be shocked at how differently the world will treat you, just from changing inwardly. People treat us at our self estimate, in life, career and love.
/r/seduction10/07/22 04:33 PM
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No need to talk yourself down! We are on this sub to learn. May I ask, where do you usually meet these girls? How is their demeanor towards you in person?
/r/seduction10/07/22 03:20 PM
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You're too hard on yourself. ☺️ Heaven knows I've done the same, and worse. Just boils down to a little insecurity and nerves and of course the very natural impulse to chase someone who we are attracted to. 😊 But, a little restraint and confidence comes a long way! You've grown and that's great.
/r/seduction10/07/22 03:18 PM
24

Yes, 100% this. When building chemistry you WANT to keep communication in person, your body language and touch are much more effective than static texts. You are also better able to read her level of interest from her non-verbal communication and escalate accordingly. Saving communication for in-person meetings also builds anticipation and gives each party something to look forward to, and more to talk about.
/r/seduction10/07/22 03:02 PM
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She just isn't into you, or she is playing the 'hard to get' game. If I were you, I stop initiating whatsoever. Let her come back to you, and if she doesn't, then re-evaluate your attraction towards her. Courtship can't be onesided, and relationships can't be onesided. One party putting in 200% to compensate for another's lack of interest always ends in misery. You become a utility to the disinterested party, and you'll find that they only play warm when they want something from you.
/r/seduction10/07/22 03:00 PM
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This is a great list! I personally don't mind plenty of emojis at all, but the remaining observations are absolutely on point. Alongside avoiding disproportionately initiating conversations, always avoid double, triple, quadruple+ texting a woman if she hasn't replied yet. The worst kinds are the passive aggressive texts that start rolling in after a series of unanswered ones ("Umm, hello" / "Are you still interested" / "You're wasting my time", "I'm just gonna be quiet seeing as you're so busy"…
/r/seduction10/07/22 02:33 PM
5

You like who you like, and there really are no rules between consenting adults. Might raise some eyebrows socially, but not from people who matter. Also, 5-10 years is not super substantial IMO
/r/seduction10/07/22 09:48 AM
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Hahaha, you'll have an unkillable immune system soon 😊 srsly stay safe tho
/r/seduction10/07/22 09:46 AM
1

Finally, a good old-fashioned gentleman! 😂
/r/seduction10/07/22 09:44 AM
2

Excellent post and I agree!
/r/seduction10/07/22 04:08 AM
2

My guess is that she is relationship oriented and likes you enough to not want to alienate you by coming across as a low value woman. Men seem to be divided here: Some feel a girl is wasting his time by not giving him sex as early as possible and will move on, others will disqualify a girl from relationship material if they put out soon and will keep them as a casual/fwb/side. This chick definitely likes you, though, might be that you want different things?
/r/seduction10/07/22 03:52 AM
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U/ok-Physics5106 posted a great response. I'll append: She is genuinely curious about you, and asks you nuanced questions to get to know you better. Not the typical formulaic get-to-know shit. She likes to pick your brain, and asks for your opinions. She is curious about your likes and interests, and will offer to partake in them to get closer to you (even if they are nothing like hers). She makes time for you, especially when her life is generally busy. She takes initiative in making plans, or …
/r/seduction09/07/22 10:27 AM
4

You're welcome! All the best and don't give up 😊 facing scary shit is the best way to build confidence. Good luck!
/r/seduction05/07/22 05:55 PM
6

Brilliant post, agreed fully! Positivity and authenticity are magnetic, and the best part is that there is no "act" to play, no internal incongruence between who you are and what you want others to believe you are. Optimism is the ultimate confidence, it's essentially a proclamation of trust in one's own abilities to tackle the challenges of life and always find a way to come out stronger. Celebrating the success of others affirms confidence by creating a sense of community over the threat of co…
/r/seduction05/07/22 05:21 PM
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Nooo, your perspective is everything here! Eye contact is an incredibly powerful tool to build attraction and curiosity, but the way it's executed depends 100% on your inner-confidence. A person who feels attractive and knows his worth will gaze confidently at a girl across the room, catch her eye, prolonge it for a bit then disengage. It's a bold move, and an attractive one. I've personally eaten this up, especially when combined with a naughty smirk. A guy who lacks confidence and is scared wi…
/r/seduction05/07/22 04:27 PM
3

OP, maybe it had nothing to do with you, and if it did - why give a shit regardless? A flaw to one woman may be a strength to another. Maybe you weren't that girl's cup of tea, and that's okay. Keep your head up and move forward 😊 And always remember to nurture your self esteem so that you do not care about validation from external parties. Always believe in your value! Even (and especially) in the face of rejection. All the best!
/r/seduction05/07/22 04:12 PM
11

A big, confident, gracious "Thank you! " is super attractive to me 😊 You don't have to follow it with anything compliment or hair related - you already grabbed their attention. I would personally then initiate some situational conversation and see where it goes :)
/r/seduction05/07/22 03:49 PM
16

Humblebrag 😉 Unless you have feelings for her, and her incapability of seeing you the same way is hurting you? Unrequited feelings suck ass. But if that's not the dynamic then have fun.
/r/seduction05/07/22 03:43 PM
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Ah shoot! Age makes this difficult. Things will turn around very quickly once you leave highschool and enter adult social spaces! Esp. young and vibey onces, clubs, campuses. Turning 18 gives you a lot of access to new places, and definitely the ones where you will meet the people you want. 😊 But I hope you can find what you want sooner!
/r/seduction05/07/22 03:42 AM
5

Let them leave 😊 Following can be very uncomfortable because women have to be conscious of safety. I am not easily affronted by flirting but at a stage I lived in a not too safe area and didn't have a car. On more than one occasion I was followed home, was unsettling.
/r/seduction04/07/22 07:08 PM
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I see. May I also ask how old you are? Are you based in a rural or more urban area? I live in South Africa, generally more third world than most Euro countries. I grew up rural and moved to a fairly large city for college and work, and despite not being 1st world I seem to run into creative and artsy people wherever I go. I met tons at college, just make friends with people who study humanities / social sciences, you will find definitely find girls into art, literure, cinema etc. Also push yours…
/r/seduction04/07/22 05:38 PM
7

Cheeky!
/r/seduction04/07/22 03:41 PM
2

Maybe this depends on how emotionally broken the chick is. My most recent ex was incapable of admitting to wrongdoing, and would twist reality, lie and constantly blame others to make him appear in the right, and everyone else in the wrong. Whether it was within our relationship, his family, his friends, his workplace, and even strangers. It completely emasculated him in my eyes, because it became apparent that his need to constantly be right (either the rational supreme hero, or the helpless vi…
/r/seduction04/07/22 02:16 PM
5

Take accountability for your actions (as it gets repulsive and tiresome to deal with someone irrational, unreasonable and "always right") and never apologize for what you have not done wrong. In other words, behave in a way that is congruent with reality. Any woman worth keeping around will respect your integrity.
/r/seduction04/07/22 02:04 PM
6

She sounds genuine I think, sometimes shit happens in life, and its great that she expressed that she wants to meet you again at your convenience. Throw out 1 more invite. If she's flakey and lukewarm then you have confirmation that you should move on.
/r/seduction04/07/22 11:47 AM
1

May I ask where you are from?
/r/seduction04/07/22 11:14 AM
2

Can only report from personal experience: I am an introverted and reserved female. If I like a guy, my social guard drops significantly in his presence. My body language is open, I hold eye contact longer, I go out of my way to start conversation, I joke and laugh a lot, and find any reason to physically touch them. I basically show them my extroverted side, vs. my typical social stealthing. If I am not interested in someone for whatever reason, I don't engage with them further than what is poli…
/r/seduction04/07/22 07:24 AM
1

They may have a charming demeanor that attracts naturally, but are uninvestable as serious romantic partners.
/r/seduction04/07/22 07:15 AM
1

Very, very true! Thank you for your reply!
/r/seduction03/07/22 05:32 PM
1

Part 2 - Flirting: Try to see flirting as a playground. The undercurrent should be fun and playful. It is essentially a dance between 2 people, where each party throws and catches physical cues of sexual interest alongside 'hooks' that welcome connection and invite more. It has to be a balanced process and it is crucial to be attentive to signs of interest (or disinterest), and adjust your strategy accordingly. The first step begins with confident demeanor (see Part 1 above). Walk with your shou…
/r/seduction03/07/22 04:10 PM
2

It is understandably a very difficult tightrope to walk 💜 If it helps, I think there are 2 elements to address here: 1) Confident presentation, which is a natural byproduct of high self esteem and self-acceptance. Have you ever noticed how some people are able to get away with certain social behaviours and are actually liked, while others people are disparaged and even shunned? The biggest factor in my opinion is social confidence. Confidence determines the difference between: The fucking weirdo…
/r/seduction03/07/22 02:10 PM
2

You are so welcome OP. 🌸 For most of my life I also struggled with a lot of social nuances, but thankfully it gets better with a little research on human social dynamics and practice. All the best 😊
/r/seduction03/07/22 01:29 PM
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I mean probably, but he sounds like a trashbag. Also, if you help someone cheat, they will cheat on you too. Do some introspection and move forward. Dating and sex do not have to be this 'messy', keep your standards high, validate your self esteem so that you will expect more from your relationships than being "the other woman". Seek happy and healthy connections, and let the low hanging fruit go.
/r/seduction03/07/22 01:07 PM
1

Are you expecting women to make the first move?
/r/seduction03/07/22 10:29 AM
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I have to agree... I've met two or three of these characters. Overly nice in a way that comes off as forced, perpetually single, but vocal about their digust for women's sexuality... One of the guys I've mentioned had some sort of jealous reaction to word coming out that a girl in our friends group hooked up with a guy we all knew. He became rude and aloof, and literally set his Whatsapp status to "Women are worth less than a used condom in a public bathroom". It turned out he liked the chick, b…
/r/seduction03/07/22 10:27 AM
2

Yep. Unfortunately a low self esteem is immediately noticeable, by everyone not just women.
/r/seduction03/07/22 09:16 AM
2

A perspective change would be helpful here. Instead of interpreting it as "otherizing", take it as a compliment and play it off as a compliment. Whether they intended it as such initially does not matter - we all have an astounding power to SET the social narrative of interactions through our responses. Next time this girl 'jokes' about you being smarter than her, just engulf the comment in warmth and even appreciation. Something along the lines of playfully saying "Well I'm flattered you apprec…
/r/seduction03/07/22 08:43 AM
2

Being non-needy is attractive to everyone, in romantic relationships, platonic friendships, family, business. Nobody respects a desperate lost puppy, or someone who makes themselves a cheap and over-available commodity. I had to learn this the hard way, even as a female trying to succeed in the dating game. Neediness is universally disliked. The key issue that is being missed here, is that you are failing to acknowledge balance. Women will not find a man devoid of sexuality or sexual interest at…
/r/seduction03/07/22 07:06 AM
1

That's surreal! I understand a bit of makeup and a good outfit but filters can make someone look like a totally different person. That sucks, big time!
/r/seduction02/07/22 05:42 PM
1

I didn't mean to come off as invalidating. My best advice would be, remember that your ex is not a reflection of all the women in the world. I know it's hard to let go of the idea that something is wrong because it was your first sexual partner and all you 'knew' up until this point. As I mentioned before, many women would embrace you as you are and would not feel insecure if you stay hard after sex. Literally I don't know in what universe that could be a bad thing to someone, I would be flatter…
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:39 PM
3

This sounds a bit like a troll post/humble brag but if it isn't: Most emotionally mature women would not have any issue with your state of hyper-arousal, I'm sure a few would even enjoy it. Big penises can be a bit painful and difficult to take, but just remember to use extra lube, enjoy lots of foreplay and find positions that are most comfortable for your partner.
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:29 PM
1

Very beautifully stated, you hit the nail on the head.
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:25 PM
3

Short answer: No. On the internet, certain pathetic individuals lose all civility and just blurt whatever shit they think would hurt you the most. Common cheap shots used against men: "Loser"/ "Broke" / "Virgin". Common cheap shots against women: "Ugly" / "Slut" / "Hag" / "Bad mother" (if applicable) They love to target common sources of social shame. It's simply an attempt to devalue you. Please do not internalize the toxic online discourse as a reflection of what all women think and feel. Only…
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:25 PM
2

I absolutely agree here. Zero filters, light makeup, candid shots. I would be morified if someone were inwardly 'disappointed' with how I looked IRL.
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:14 PM
2

That's just downright cruel. Zero integrity - be glad you missed that bullet. OP, understand that what happened was more a reflection of that Bumble shithead than it was of you. Keep your head held high, and remember: A lion doesn't care about the opinions of cowardly hyenas.
/r/seduction02/07/22 04:12 PM
8

IMO, as soon as possible. 😊 That is, if you are dating to find a relationship, as it can be a very emotional and polarizing topic. If you are dating casually or want to get lucky, leave politics out of it.
/r/seduction30/06/22 04:47 PM
1

Those are nice 😊
/r/seduction29/06/22 04:44 PM
1

This is an interesting post. A lot of 'dark psychology' pick up techniques are most suited to securing casual sex. After months and years, everyone will grow tired of the inauthenticity, the emotional distance, lack of vulnerability and the hot/cold cat-and-mouse game. What may start as a 'challenge', loses its novelty and becomes emotionally destroying and deeply unsatisfying.
/r/seduction29/06/22 03:50 PM
2

Might be for 2 reasons. 1) Personality: the other commentor and myself may be a bit different on spectrums of "agreeableness", which is okay since both sides have pros and cons. My default assumption is that people are generally benevolent and mean well, others may be naturally guarded and a bit suspicious. 2) Culture: I snooped (now I'm being a creep 😉) and saw she's from Australia, and I'm from South Africa. I'm just making assumptions but maybe feminism is more... "3rd wave" in Aus. South Afr…
/r/seduction29/06/22 03:43 PM
2

Agree.
/r/seduction29/06/22 06:06 AM
1

Lol, and I love that she publicly announced that you sent her a DM to make you look... Well idk what her intention was 😂 probably like you were "harassing" her 😉
/r/seduction29/06/22 05:04 AM
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Alright, I just read that whole thread. First off! Holy shit well done on your respectful and level-headed replies in the face of someone who essentially insinuates you are a sexual predator of sorts for frequenting this sub. I actually got SALTY reading that. The argument makes no sense. "Approaching" is the reason why anything happens in the dating world, and it really doesn't matter if it happens in a hobby group or at the grocery store. A woman at a bar may be disinterested, but a woman who …
/r/seduction29/06/22 05:03 AM
7

This is fucking brilliant 😁😁 on so many levels. Failing confidently is very endearing in itself, BIG, BIG points for the idgaf authenticity! I'm personally planning on joining a belly dance class - I love dancing but can be shy, should help :)
/r/seduction28/06/22 08:14 PM
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I'm not sure I agree with her. There's nothing inherently wrong with a guy shooting his shot even if the girl didn't initiate eye contact first - flirting only becomes a social faux pas when there is persistence in the face of clear discomfort or requests to stop. There is nothing stopping her from saying "no thank you" and moving on. Another woman might be charmed and very flattered.
/r/seduction28/06/22 07:57 PM
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Of any kind? That is harsh indeed. If it's any consolation, many women love engagement that is light and respectful, especially extroverts. For someone to claim that any day game interaction is harassment, they may be better off moving to a sex segregated society. How are people supposed to meet eachother?
/r/seduction28/06/22 07:43 PM
2

Hah, thanks! ☺️
/r/seduction28/06/22 07:40 PM
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Congrats in the confidence breakthrough! It will serve you well. Can only speak for myself but a man who is willing to dance is incredibly impressive to me. Dancing is physical and its fun, stellar way to build sexual chemistry
/r/seduction28/06/22 06:44 PM
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I would eat this up 😂
/r/seduction28/06/22 11:38 AM
1

It doesn't sound silly whatsoever, considering that 90% of all human communication is nonverbal. Physical expressions of confidence and sexuality will always steamroll clever lines and conversational hooks in efficacy. In fact, if you are unable to use body language to connect with a woman, your lines are likely to fail because she is still in a headspace of either disinterest or defence. Dancing and physical touch, to me is as effective as a strong handshake and open body language in an intervi…
/r/seduction28/06/22 11:36 AM
2

Hehe, speak for yourself! Each woman is different and responds to different things. For those of us who are sensually inclined and most attracted to touch, good synergy on the dancefloor is fucking intoxicating 😍 Would impress me way more than any kind of verbal game would.
/r/seduction28/06/22 05:11 AM
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Awesome post! Will weigh in as a woman, dancing is extremely attractive. You don't have to be good at it, you just have to be confident enough to do it. Dancing exudes a kind of body confidence we find irresistible. I cannot understate how effective this is at building chemistry! It's fun, phyiscal, and non-verbally building responsivity to one another's bodies on the dance floor is quite sexual subliminally. 'Reading' and responding to physical cues of interest and enthusiasm is the mating game…
/r/seduction28/06/22 05:03 AM
3

It sounds like you are. Women love a man who can or is willing to dance, it's a sensual activity and pretty much 'chemistry' in kinesthetic form.
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:48 AM
16

We adjust our clothing often, depending on the outfit. A lot of women's clothing is form fitting and has 'odd' cuts - these have to be adjusted for the garmets to look their best, for us to be comfortable, and for nothing to pop out that we don't want showing. I personally wear practical and loose clothing (never adjusting them), and will dress up 1 day of the week. If I'm wearing a miniskirt, stockings, bodysuit, bodycon dress, lower neckline top I do reposition the garments frequently.
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:44 AM
1

Yup! The practice is pretty fucked.
/r/seduction27/06/22 06:09 AM
1

Indeed - Low testosterone is known to cause anxiety, depression and lethargy in men. Also, obesity and low muscle tone. Out of curiosity, I did a quick search regarding the mental health of Eunuchs and briefly read that psychological complications including depression and suicidal tendencies are common (despite having longer lifespans than regular males). Reasons could be varied but hormones certainly play a part. On the flip side, I researched the consequences of testosterone that is "too" high…
/r/seduction26/06/22 06:27 PM
2

Unless in theory, higher testosterone brings a behavioural edge that is desirable in society (and to women as an extension) ? More 'aggression' may translate to higher competitiveness, more boldness, feelings of vitality, risk taking and so on. There are of course also behavioural negatives associated with much higher than average T, so it depends on how well the hypothetical individual can master his behavior to his advantage. I have zero evidence for the above, just entertaining the hypothetic…
/r/seduction26/06/22 05:06 PM
1

Very correct, agree with all your points.
/r/seduction26/06/22 04:59 PM
33

Shoot your shot! Personally, I wouldn't grind on a guy if there wasn't a big part of me that wanted to bed him. 😊 If your friend is just naturally flirtatious and not necessarily DTF, I doubt any rejection she gives you will be hostile or shocked. It may flatter her. Take a chance, and keep it light and fun no matter the outcome.
/r/seduction26/06/22 04:38 PM
1

It depends! How autonomous are you and how do you currently get around? I personally wouldn't mind, so long as the guy makes his own plans for transport and wouldn't expect me to fall into the role of taxi driver. My ex sold his car while we were together, and it didn't bother me that he was a "guy without a car", it bothered me that he relied on me exclusively for transport and would take my car and disappear with with for hours. If you are independent and can make a plan, this shouldn't be an …
/r/seduction25/06/22 09:58 AM
2

I have given your reply some thought, may I ask which country you're from?
/r/seduction24/06/22 05:35 PM
2

You are absolutely freaking spot on, I could not have said it better myself. Subtle power dynamics underpin all social interactions we have, romantic or not. Bratty behavior, insults, unilateral decision making and manipulation are all a form of "challenge", and every time we submit to such behaviour we welcome more of it. That's why manipulators become exceptionally vile when the former doormat starts challenging them back. Depending on how "far gone" the power imbalance is, the relationship ma…
/r/seduction24/06/22 04:58 PM
5

Great observation and I concur.
/r/seduction24/06/22 04:30 PM
8

This is better. 👍
/r/seduction24/06/22 04:28 PM
2

Her end goal is a relationship, and she may have been afraid investing emotion and time in a person who may be in it for something casual but isn't honest about what he wants. I would personally mentally register your response as: "I will build rapport with you and tease commitment without giving it, because your investment gives me access to regular sex". Every girl dreads falling for a guy who insists that he "doesn't do labels" 😉 In future, never be afraid to be direct! If you are looking for…
/r/seduction24/06/22 04:27 PM
2

Apologies if my comment read as scrutinizing, my intended tone was gentle. I didn't read the entire comment thread but I concur with what you are saying - my comment was basically a train of thought as someone who has ADHD and high functioning ASD. OP's GF may benefit from seeing a professional, and if she has a condition she needs to commit fully to self-awareness and management.
/r/seduction24/06/22 03:44 PM
1

Sometimes we need an outside opinion of uninvolved parties. People go to therapists to do "talk therapy", because talking about our problems candidly helps us gain clarity in a safe and mostly non-judgmental arena. I can't tell you how much excellent advice and support I have received on Reddit. It certainly helped in times where I had to make tough decisions.
/r/seduction24/06/22 03:37 PM
2

This is a very good assessment honestly. It's a mixture of low self-esteem, and self-denial. A lot of men deal with pain indirectly (distraction) instead of acknowledging their vulnerability, shame and unhappiness. It could be that society tells men to "man up" and be stronger than the situations that are getting them down. Time for change.
/r/seduction24/06/22 03:32 PM
1

Agree. If she's fucking out like this in the Honeymoon phase then how bad is it going to be a couple years in? My ex boyfriend took about 1 year for his mask to slip and things declined rapidly after that. OP can try to beg and reason with this chick, but you can't unfuck other people. They HAVE to be at a point mentally where they are willing to take accountability. If not, then they just become increasingly abusive every time you enforce healthy boundaries. Rather find someone whole and wholes…
/r/seduction24/06/22 01:10 PM
2

This is the way. Not all people are worth fighting for.
/r/seduction24/06/22 01:06 PM
1

Yet again, is mental health ever an excuse to treat others badly?
/r/seduction24/06/22 12:58 PM
2

Without communication skills, your relationship is destined to fail. Sorry for the tough love answer but you have to understand the severity of dealing with a person who is more committed to being "right", than actually working as a team for the sake of the relationship. Draw an ultimatum. Be direct with your girlfriend that her tantrums are literally killing the relationship, and that she has to learn how to speak like an adult or at least know when she is at a threshold of emotional intensity …
/r/seduction24/06/22 12:57 PM
4

Out of pride and dignity alone: cut contact and move on. Sometimes guys forget that women are capable of seeing men as "just friends", especially if the interaction felt platonic from the start. (lack of sexual chemistry, even if you verbalized intent). Most of the time, not even acting aloof can reverse the friend material classification so do not hold your breath hoping she will develop interest after the fact. Staying in contact is basically settling for second prize, and she knows this. By d…
/r/seduction23/06/22 05:18 PM
7

Yes 😅 Best not to commit in the first place if you would rather live for the hunt than for love. There is nothing wrong with either lifestyle but this scenario can hurt someone badly.
/r/seduction23/06/22 05:06 PM
1

Just curious, did the mods remove this?
/r/seduction23/06/22 05:03 PM
2

Hahaha. May the Reddit bender continue 🤠
/r/seduction22/06/22 08:28 PM
3

(ꈍᴗꈍ )
/r/seduction22/06/22 07:59 PM
3

Big brain move!
/r/seduction22/06/22 07:35 PM
2

😂👀
/r/seduction22/06/22 07:33 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/seduction22/06/22 07:33 PM
7

Great post!
/r/seduction22/06/22 05:51 PM
–

That emoji is amazing 😂 I'm saving it somewhere ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
/r/seduction22/06/22 05:50 PM
1

Such a fantastic reply, and I agree fully with your reasoning. This is SUCH a breath of fresh air to read - thank you!
/r/seduction22/06/22 05:26 PM
5

Yes! Ex partner struggled with porn addiction and was candid that he couldn't really find my "normal" body attractive, and couldn't stay hard during sex (which I practically had to beg him for...) It was hard on my self esteem. I don't have any ideological issue with porn whatsoever but it becomes a problem when iy affects your sex life with your "real" partner if that makes sense. Was hard to always lose to a virtual mistress that lived in my house. I myself discovered porn at 16 and became add…
/r/seduction22/06/22 02:45 PM
1

I agree with you totally! In the past I've pretty much been a female "nice guy/simp" - always accessible, available and working hard for my partner's love. The people who I chased the most, treated me the worst. It seems its human nature to only value commodities that make themselves rare and hard to reach. If we act like hot shit we are usually treated accordingly... But I really don't know any other way to 'be'. My previous relationship dissolved basically for this reason - I had to act cold a…
/r/seduction22/06/22 01:13 PM
1

This makes me happy to hear! Life's too short for games 😳 I'd rather be authentic
/r/seduction22/06/22 01:05 PM
1

Bahahahaha 😂😂
/r/seduction22/06/22 12:32 PM
1

You are awesome! Thanks so much for the reply. 😊💜
/r/seduction22/06/22 12:32 PM
2

This is a really helpful response, thank you 😊💜
/r/seduction22/06/22 12:29 PM
2

I am in agreement with you. There are far too many external factors (culture, traditional, social constraints, financial constraints, honesty, and of course the other half of the whole relationship!) to really declare that theory as a universal truth. Say in a country where infidelity is punishable by death, and men and women are placed in arranged marriages by their families, and where divorce is socially unacceptable. The virginal bride may stay in the marriage for decades, but may have zero o…
/r/seduction22/06/22 09:06 AM
2

It's a layered issue. I've actually seen a particular study circulating around the 'red pilled' corner of the internet that correlated a high number of sexual partners on the woman's side to higher likelihoods of divorce. The general idea being that promiscuous sex (or any kind sexual 'history') damages a woman's ability to peer bond with her male partner. I have not looked into the validity of this study and haven't found it to be true in my personal capacity, but I do not posess any absolute t…
/r/seduction21/06/22 07:44 PM
10

It's so incredibly frustrating! I've had so many fantasies I've been afraid to bring up for this exact reason. I recall in my previous relationship, an ex asked to perform a certain sexual act on me and I let him, and I somewhat even enjoyed it. His demeanor toward me changed from lovey-dovey to chauvinistic and passive aggressive for the next few days, which was uncharacteristic of him. It was discouraging to say the least. I feel that "good sex" should allow 2 individuals to be completely bare…
/r/seduction21/06/22 07:36 PM
4

I definitely agree! I would really like guys to weigh in here: how would you all feel about lighter sexual play in early courtship? Would hand and mouth stuff early raise any red flags for you about the chick's history? Would it be enough to keep you interested in her even if you haven't had access to full on sex yet? Would love to know!
/r/seduction21/06/22 07:23 PM
6

That's freakin' awesome of you. Sometimes we just really, really like you!
/r/seduction21/06/22 07:19 PM
2

This is such an awesome post, thank you so much for sharing. Anxiety is that terrible "what if" kind of uncertainty, and you are so right that action is the best antidote. Take the guesswork out of scenarios by gradually dipping your feet. Having the courage to do scary things is a magnificent way to build confidence. The more we prove to ourselves that we can handle situations, the less intrusive those self-limiting beliefs become. Though challenge, we grow into ourselves instead of playing sma…
/r/seduction21/06/22 05:33 PM
7

I definitely think that inner security plays a big part, and it is very human for us all to feel a bit insecure from time to time. Culture can also a factor, it seems a little like the political tides are turning toward social conservatism if online movements are any indicator. I still choose to be hopeful. Thank you for the kind and insightful comment 😊
/r/seduction21/06/22 05:28 PM
2

For clarity, I didn't mean to imply entitlement 😊 Poor choice of wording on my part. The gist was more my own thought process about the rule, but ultimately there is nothing wrong with it: it's a perfectly ethical way to date and you are entitled to preferences. Me personally, I would feel it's jumping the gun but its just a humble opinion.
/r/seduction21/06/22 05:12 PM
1

Just a quick question: how can you know with certainty that she gave it up easily to her exes? As opposed to generally not wanting to feel pressured or rushed? Maybe she gave it up easily before and was extremely hurt by a pump and dump (which happens often), and slows down to protect dignity even though she is super into you?
/r/seduction21/06/22 05:04 PM
3

Eh - I suppose the above poster just knows what he wants. I don't necessarily agree with that rule and I think it will cause a lot of missed opportunities with potentially fantasic partners. But he is entitled to his terms of engagement, and it is probably best for all parties if he eliminates incompatibilities early on.
/r/seduction21/06/22 05:00 PM
4

Indeed. 1 or 2 in-person meetings is nothing! You are practically strangers and it isn't reasonable to expect someone to be physically vulnerable with a person they barely know.
/r/seduction21/06/22 04:58 PM
54

I am with you, because I am the kind of woman who physically can NOT wait if I am attracted to a man. If I like someone, I can't help engulfing them in every kind of love possible including physical. This has unfortunately backfired on me in 2 of my 3 relationships. Both my first and second boyfriend, (while actively pursuing sex from the start), decided that I was "easy" because I didn't resist them. The first one dumped me, the second one started routinely accusing me of cheating because I had…
/r/seduction21/06/22 04:50 PM
2

Thank you, kind stranger! 💜
/r/seduction20/06/22 06:35 PM
3

I would define "creepy" as any approach that ignores a target's visible discomfort after moves have been made. There is absolutely no 'wrong' approach, because women differ drastically. But persisting where the woman is trying to convey unwillingness, becomes a social misstep. Even moreso when the target is secluded (think an elevator, parking lot or alleyway) and further unwanted advances could escalate to danger easily.
/r/seduction20/06/22 06:15 PM
2

Dress isn't the biggest factor driving rape or kidnapping. It is mostly an opportunistic act of crime, and most victims are minors between the ages of 11 and 16. Most victims of sexual assault are molested or raped by family members or individuals close to the family. Perpetrators are mostly looking for very young, docile victims who are easy to groom, or to intimidate into silence. Dressing these minors in baggy clothes will not save them from predatory adults.
/r/seduction20/06/22 05:25 PM
1

People generally enjoy feeling sexually potent and desirable. A girl wearing a minidress in cool weather is not necessarily hoping to get the attention of guys at the grocery store, but inwardly feels her best when her outward appearance is attractive. Dressing a certain way can be an instant confidence boost.
/r/seduction20/06/22 05:21 PM
8

Yes, exactly! Most women are not looking for casual sex, so in an inbox of 100 matches with 90-95% looking for a one night stand or fuck buddy, is that kind of attention really a prize? A guy who's looking to get his rocks off will match with any female who he is not completely repulsed by. Any woman who feels she is actually "desirable" based on the amount of matches she gets on Tinder is delusional. You're fuckable, not beautiful.
/r/seduction20/06/22 05:05 PM
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Real life is nothing like Tinder, my guy. Below average looking women may get dozens from messages from guys looking for a casual fuck but will not even get so much as a look or greeting from men IRL. Tinder is absolute bullshit.
/r/seduction20/06/22 04:58 PM
4

I am not sure I agree with you on some counts. Refusal to cater to what you call "The Male Gaze" is actually seen as obnoxious and 'feminist' where I am from. Here, women are encouraged to look as good as possible and being pretty (wearing makeup, dressing in a way that accentuates our bodies) is a cultural expectation. To refuse to wear makeup and 'extras' is seen as unfeminine, by conservative men and women. The "entitlement" of women expecting to be courted with gifts is actually... Consisten…
/r/seduction18/06/22 03:04 PM
–

May I ask where you live and where you meet these people? 😬 I can only speak as a third-worlder, who studied STEM - my social circles have never crossed with outspoken feminist women.
/r/seduction18/06/22 01:45 PM
1

You made the best judgement here - best be safe, and advance another time.
/r/seduction18/06/22 01:12 PM
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You can't really isolate that to the chick paying - maybe you need to build more interest / curiosity / sexual chemistry to get the momentum going for the second date. It's hard to tell because naturally we haven't observed your dates, could be many factors..
/r/seduction18/06/22 06:30 AM
2

Where do you live, lol? Maybe women are just a little tired of coming off as Gold-Diggers or entitled, and genuinely want to contribute as a sign of courtesy and respect?
/r/seduction18/06/22 06:28 AM
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Absolutely not. Why date someone who thinks you're shit for simply being born a male? Diversify your options, the people you date should improve your happiness and quality of life, not detract. Also: no the majority of women are not "radfems", those individuals just tend to make the most noise.
/r/seduction18/06/22 06:22 AM
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Maybe because you made it off? Your belief that it was a sign of disinterest probably reflected in YOUR behaviour. Nothing is awkward unless you make it so.
/r/seduction18/06/22 06:17 AM
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How on earth does asking to split the bill equate to not liking you? What kind of logic is this? Most women work in 2022, and a fair amount of working women believe in contribution and fairness as a basic principle. I split everything or take turns in my relationships, all while adoring the man I'm with. This applies to casual dates as well. Please don't limit yourself with these paranoid beliefs, they likely affect your outward level of confidence. Your inner world creates a feedback loop in yo…
/r/seduction18/06/22 06:16 AM
1

Angles can be CRAZY deceiving! I've accidentally found ways to make myself look at least 10lbs thinner than what I actually am 😳 and in the age of insta and Tinder many women do the same. I think it would be better to be upfront, many wasted first dates could be avoided. Because at the end of the day, I would only want to match with people who would actually enjoy my body as a 'first preference', not an 'I'll take what I can get even though you are less appealing than your photos'. Attraction is…
/r/seduction17/06/22 02:28 PM
5

I actually agree with you - I'm a woman and find it stupid that height is mandatory on many dating profiles but weight is not. I'm no longer on dating apps but would definitely post my measurements publicly as a courtesy. Makes life easier for everyone!
/r/seduction17/06/22 12:14 PM
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This isn't the flex you think it is. Contrary to what porn might tell you, women are NOT obsessed with big dicks. It is nothing like the attraction men have to big tits, we are not wired that way. You can and should definitely gently tease sexual fantasies, but don't make your member the center point. Be subtle and let her mind fill in the blanks, we LOVE that.
/r/seduction16/06/22 12:11 PM
2

I will not engage further because I understand you are a young teen navigating identity, which is a very normal and natural thing to do. You are of course entitled to your opinion, neither of us posess absolute truths. I do wish you luck on your journey into manhood, whatever it may mean to you. Have a good day.
/r/seduction16/06/22 07:56 AM
2

I wanted to see more on your Sigma and Masculine knowledge so I checked out your profile. You are a 15 year old virgin. To school other men on masculinity, you need to leave your mother's nest and become a man first. A Sigma male according to some definitions are self-assured alphas who choose to go against the grain and exclude themselves from politics and hierarchy, so essentially the most 'Sigma' thing a man can do is GIVE ZERO FUCKS. Essentially - being authentic and determined in a world of…
/r/seduction16/06/22 06:35 AM
3

I read this a lot on Reddit, and wonder what's wrong with me 😂 every ex I've ever had moved on before me - I've been single for 6 months feeling too raw and beat up emotionally to even talk to a new guy, meanwhile my ex had started dating the week after our breakup. I was hung up on my previous ex for an entire year, he had moved on within 3 months. Plenty of women say men move on faster, so I wonder if it's not confirmation bias of our own experience of reality? I think the person who is least …
/r/seduction15/06/22 01:17 PM
3

Why does it matter? 😂 Here's a hypothetical: say in 2030, steak becomes especially popular with women, and 80% of the world's steak consumption caters to female customers. Are men who eat steak in 2030 in unmasculine, simply because steak is more commonly eaten by women? Anyway - if we can acknowledge that masculine and femnine connotations are transient and and ever-evolving, then surely it is highly insecure and irrational to say men are unmasculine if they practice arts and sports... Original…
/r/seduction15/06/22 12:55 PM
4

Odd... Men have done ballet since it's inception in the 15th century, and most prominent ballet dancers at that era were in fact men. Like many kinds of dance, ballet has strict gender roles within the performance so a man will not even move the same way a woman would. Yoga is also stereotypically feminine, but in ancient times women were not even allowed to practice yoga and all yogi's were men. Ballet also requires a huge amount of skill, strength and dexterity so I don't see what's unmasculin…
/r/seduction15/06/22 11:21 AM
2

Hell yes, this is one of the best comments I've seen! The only life worth living is an authentic one. You will attract FAR more people being yourself with confidence, over half-heartedly fitting into an arbitrary social label.
/r/seduction15/06/22 10:23 AM
2

Amazing answer 😂 damn
/r/seduction15/06/22 10:21 AM
2

Hell yes 😁 nice!
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:03 AM
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It's not only okay, it's sensible. Good on you for standing up for your dignity and protecting your peace of mind. Being friends with someone who you have unrequited feelings for is just a painful reminder everyday of how you weren't 'enough' for the object of your affection - especially if she starts seeing other guys and just keeps you around for attention. You don't need friendship as a consolation prize because frankly, there are women out there who will recognize your worth and definitely r…
/r/seduction09/06/22 02:07 PM
1

Brilliantly said.
/r/seduction08/06/22 05:20 PM
1

Very true.
/r/seduction08/06/22 05:19 PM
1

I have dated smokers and non-smokers, their smoking habits didn't have much of an effect on my attraction to them - was much more interested in the guy. Right now I am avoiding smokers, not because I find them unattractive, but because I quit in 2020 and get heavy cravings when I smell cigs.
/r/seduction08/06/22 05:19 PM
1

I might have something that can help 💪 I'll DM you
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:42 AM
1

Is there any way that you can build self esteem, even though you feel your flaws are holding you back?
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:33 AM
1

I for sure agree with you, I'm very skeptical about all celebrities and think most are absolute degenerates, Depp included. But glad it opened a conversation about domestic and emotional abuse against men, it was needed.
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:25 AM
2

That mentality will not get you far in life. Its easier to just give up and decide that life is a losing game, much easier than taking accountability. Remember this in all of your undertakings: we are the architects and pilots of our lives. If you walk through the world with your tail inbetween your legs, people will reflect that back at you and push you to the bottom of the social food chain. Your entire experience of life on earth could change if you started building inner security and knowing…
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:23 AM
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It's a bit complex. An abuser conditions a victim over months and years to have no self esteem and eventually they believe they deserve the abuse. They are also experts at intermittent reinforcement, they switch between giving the victim horrible abuse and then giving them all the love in the world. This inconsistent reward pattern is chemically additive in the brain. If recent events have told us anything, even men can struggle leaving abusive women but society tells men that they are weak if t…
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:12 AM
5

You are so right. It's tough to face inner demons and takes a lot of hard work, but the pay-offs are brilliant: confidence, inner security and resilience go a long way. Oh man, undiagnosed neuro conditions are a hotbed for self-esteem issues... Could imagine that it was kind of like feeling like an alien among your peers or an outcast, and internalizing that kind of social difficulty as a personal flaw that you just couldn't fix. Extra difficult being expected to be the 'initiator' in dating and…
/r/seduction08/06/22 11:02 AM
4

I agree. The more a person pushes through fear and disconnects from needing approval, the more confident he becomes.
/r/seduction08/06/22 08:50 AM
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This is certainly a tough love post, maybe a bit harsh. Let's dig deeper though: why are some men passive, depressed, complacent, scared, comfortable in in victimhood, anxious, paranoid, resentful, envious? It boils down to a massive crisis of identity and self esteem that has been in the gutter for years. Many don't even realize they suffer from low self esteem because it has been their "normal" since adolescence or before. This post offers some good practical tips but men struggling with insec…
/r/seduction08/06/22 08:39 AM
3

Power move! I'm glad for you - pushing through fear is how we build confidence 😊💜
/r/seduction08/06/22 07:17 AM
2

Ooh I get what you mean now. Love at 'first sight' is total bullshit and very naive. I had a love at first sight moment with someone I met online and it ended up a disaster, even though the first year was great. Infatuation is not love and I figured that out the hard way. I think most folks who go in looking for love at at a point where they had their fun and are ready to settle. It takes time though.
/r/seduction07/06/22 05:56 PM
1

Fuck Tinder. The dynamic is unnatural and messed up.
/r/seduction07/06/22 05:10 PM
1

Many are, or at least one guy who they can seriously invest in. Numbers game has never appealed to me.
/r/seduction07/06/22 04:31 PM
6

This is a good question actually. Many describe it as a 'click' that happens with some people but definitely not all. Most of it, to me, is the compatible and enthusiastic exhange of sexual/courtship body language. Very non-verbal and subconscious. Chemistry happens where both parties' bodies scream a green light at eachother. Lackluster chemistry might look like 2 parties conversing well together, but simply not being able to ignite any sexual fireworks together. If one party is cold, the other…
/r/seduction07/06/22 04:29 PM
4

Absolutely. Would terrify me to watch my partner beat someone up where violence would have been strictly avoided by ignoring the person or shutting them down verbally. If anything, it would indicate that he has severe issues with anger, and is emotionally unhinged and dangerous.
/r/seduction07/06/22 03:09 PM
2

Personally, no - obviously depending on the severity of the harassment. If someone gets physical with me, I would appreciate if my partner would get him to stop but not use any excessive force. If someone is being annoying and insulting, I would let it slide and would appreciate if my partner would take the same approach. To start throwing fists over an inappropriate comment would make me a little fearful of my partner.
/r/seduction07/06/22 03:01 PM
14

I am automatically on high alert around cops, male or female.
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:32 AM
2

Yes! As silly as it may sound this could be very fun to indulge in.
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:59 PM
1

Hahaha, definitely a creative iteration of a common fantasy: She may be attracted to power and authority. She sees you in a dominant role and respects your mind. The spokewoman part is cute. 😂 Your respected right hand and partner in crime with special access to you, but you taking the lead role and calling the shots. Speaking for you, may indicate she likes a little power but expresses it in a synergistic way with your desires. I'm smiling 😋 run with it, could be fun
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:58 PM
5

It may have the inverse effect on your self esteem and body image. My best bet would be to try to detox from porn a bit, and watch your internal self-talk about your body. I know that it may not matter, but for what it counts women are not obsessed with 'monster cocks', porn scripts are the biggest load of shit. My ex partner was larger than average and it was often the worst sex I've had due to discomfort and pain. Maybe you enjoy the fantasy of having a bigger penis, but in practicality would …
/r/seduction05/06/22 02:05 PM
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Yes! This is an amazing philosophy. Never delay taking risks, meeting people, talking to girls, or anything in life until you are "[x] in life". You will never be at the point you wanna be, because your real issue is your confidence - not your lack of game, how much money you make, or your muscle definition. The bravery and self-assuredness to take risks is something that is ironically very attractive to women - believe that you, even as a work in progress, still deserve happiness and success in…
/r/seduction03/06/22 01:29 PM
1

Different love languages for sure, it is extremely dependent on the person.
/r/seduction02/06/22 11:31 AM
2

Absolutely 😁 and there is of course the wonderful cocktail of feel-good brain chems. Cuddliness and warmth from oxytocin, and a happy high from endorphins. Hard to be in a bad mood after great sex.
/r/seduction02/06/22 06:26 AM
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A kind and awesome response. The most valuable gifts you can give someone is your time and your presence.
/r/seduction01/06/22 02:43 PM
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It really is this simple. We don't want men to 'fix', we seek empathy, presence, hugs and kisses and a good pounding. 😊 Advice is definitely welcome if asked for, or if it comes after a validating space has been established. But dick always helps.
/r/seduction01/06/22 02:41 PM
8

Maybe they are inviting playful teasing back? This can be a normal form of flirtation for some. Depending if the behaviour is a nuisance and somewhat backhanded rather than playful, its definitely a 'challenge' or test. Had an ex boyfriend who did this extensively when I became more independent in our relationship (was like a lost puppy / doormat before, took a lot of shit). Pretty much constant annoying behaviour and passive aggression, always felt like he was trying to get a reaction to affirm…
/r/seduction20/05/22 01:20 PM
1

I don't like to shame people but the idea that women are only attracted to "1%er, 6 figures, Chad physique" is so incredibly intellectually dishonest. Mentally creating an impossible standard to "compete" against is just a defeatist technique to relinquish accountability for one's own lack of success in dating (and life in the broader scheme). Don't blame the opposite sex, blame your low self esteem and the way it limits you. If you declare yourself a loser in life you will be treated as such. D…
/r/seduction19/05/22 06:29 AM
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This is true. Everybody is "somebody's" type.
/r/seduction18/05/22 12:14 PM
11

Awesome perspective.
/r/seduction18/05/22 11:06 AM
1

Thanks for the reply! Could you elaborate on the concept of inner alignment?
/r/seduction18/05/22 09:57 AM
1

That's definitely a good sign! She is comfortable with you, but its time to introduce a bit of sexual tension. 😁 Flirt a bit, keep it light and playful.
/r/seduction17/05/22 02:33 PM
4

Intent is important. Women are not wired to be sexually non-selective - If a male presents himself as a friend, we will regard him exactly as that. "Options" may not even cross our minds.
/r/seduction17/05/22 02:29 PM
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Not about the hand holding I think... Maybe her interpretation of the meeting was mostly platonic, and the lack of reciprocity was a sign that chemistry was lacking a bit. Holding hands is a bold move, but I think some flirtation was/is necessary to build a little tension and curiosity first. How was her behavior before and after the hand holding, or at the start and end of your date?
/r/seduction17/05/22 02:26 PM
5

Agree. Discussions on boundaries are essential for a healthy sex life.
/r/seduction17/05/22 12:26 PM
8

She has an obvious kink and keeps on engaging because you are not vocalizing your boundaries clearly enough. You are allowed to have preferences. If what she's doing is unpleasant or uncomfortable to you, tell her. It will then be her responsibility to honour that. If you enjoy it somewhat but feel you are "not supposed to", remember that common social norms are often stupid and the bedroom is a place to drop our curated masks. Good sex is honest, 'animal' and vulnerable.
/r/seduction17/05/22 12:26 PM
2

I absolutely love this post and concur. Magnetism is a state of mind.
/r/seduction17/05/22 11:26 AM
1

Oof, had no clue. 😂
/r/seduction17/05/22 11:11 AM
1

Just a suggestion, but maybe join a few special interests groups! Meetup.com has just about everything. Having a hobby or activity in common would also be a pretty good icebreaker. Even if nothing immediately comes from it, it would be a great way to practice your social skills and make a few friends. Any expansion of your social circle will expose you to more women by association. All the best and have fun!
/r/seduction17/05/22 10:59 AM
2

Thank you kind stranger 💜
/r/seduction17/05/22 07:07 AM
2

The cracks are maybe what is impeding your magnetism? I know there are many factors, but how we reflect our inner state outward can have a pretty fucking radical effect on how we are treated by others. Not only romantic prospects, but literally everyone, even complete strangers.
/r/seduction17/05/22 07:04 AM
1

So happy my response helped! Good luck in your ventures toward self awareness, its the most noble pursuit of them all 😁
/r/seduction17/05/22 06:58 AM
2

Cultural differences could definitely be at play - I find it very interesting and unusual that highly successful men (wealthy, emotionally intact and outwardly confident, fit and attractive) would struggle to attract women. Wealth alone does not pull women. Stability plus a bit of social influence, good social skills and outspoken personality however, DEFINITELY makes women actively compete for a man's attention. If the man in question is successful, attractive and (key words) outwardly confiden…
/r/seduction17/05/22 06:54 AM
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Definitely! Once a person identifies their unhealthy patterns and where they come from, they can start to patch their foundation and challenge themselves to change behaviors in their dating styles that aren't working. It's also notable that different romantic partners might trigger our anxious/avoidant tendencies to varying degrees if they also have an insecure attachment style. A FANTASTIC resource: follow @thesecurerelationship on Instagram. Brilliant in depth information, presented in an easy…
/r/seduction16/05/22 02:18 PM
8

Thank you, you are kind! 💜
/r/seduction16/05/22 12:12 PM
6

Hmm - Female perspective, I personally flee at a cold approach (its more my tendency to be hunter/initiator, I feel an instant defense when attention comes to me vs. me approaching another) BUT - I don't think cold approach is bad or creepy by default. If the cold approacher is considerate of a woman's environment and body language, coming off as predatory or a creep can be avoided. Some women would definitely enjoy the excitement of speaking to a stranger and might find the boldness of the move…
/r/seduction16/05/22 09:42 AM
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Absolutely true in my experience (inverse sexes). Not so much in the physical appearance sense, but absolutely in the mental and emotional areas. The reasons can be very complex, but I find the following to be consistent: We attract partners that treat us at our level of self-esteem. Lower self esteem individuals often land up with users and abusers, and this is why some people assert that "all men/women are shit" (not the truth, they simply keep on picking men and women who they allow to walk a…
/r/seduction16/05/22 09:07 AM
5

Woman here, its a no from me! Saying she's too hot for you will put that thought in her head even if she didn't think it before. You want to communicate that YOU are desirable - maybe not in this pickup line but in general. Act like you are a catch and you will be treated accordingly.
/r/seduction13/05/22 08:57 AM
3

Yes! Fantastic post. People treat us at our self-estimate and tend to flock to those with an unapologetic and quiet confidence about themselves. If acknowledged humbly and playfully, our flaws might even make us more likable - they make us come across as human, approachable and real. Because most people attempt to posture and hide weakness, glimpsing authenticity can be very magnetic and attractive.
/r/seduction12/05/22 11:58 AM
37

Very empowered mentality and I agree fully. Refusal to internalize rejection indicates a very healthy sense of identity and self-worth, which women absolutely fucking love.
/r/seduction12/05/22 09:09 AM
2

A million thank you's for this EXCELLENT reply! I just took a look at the book and I know its going to be an enlightening read, thank you so much for recommending this resource. Regarding not throwing out what I 'have', that is a kind affirmation and one I am grateful to hear. 😊 I feel to rewrite my signature as a lover would rob me of authenticity, and any kind of internal resistance to one's own self destroys the chance of true intimacy with others as well. I will look for a puzzle piece that …
/r/seduction07/05/22 09:07 AM
2

I agree totally. Definitely just speculating 🌸
/r/seduction05/05/22 07:04 AM
1

Excellent advice, I agree fully!
/r/seduction04/05/22 11:28 AM
2

I hear you haha. My issue is not so much upfront rejection, I would say in that aspect I'm successful at flirting, building chemistry and asking someone out. I'm only speculating that 'prolonging' this leading/initiating behaviour in courtship (when it has progressed to relationship stage) could possibly take some of the fun out of dating for men.
/r/seduction04/05/22 03:13 AM
2

Extremely valuable insight, thank you! 💜
/r/seduction04/05/22 03:08 AM
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A note as well - I am a woman who is trying to break the shit habit of being the 'pursuer' and 'hunter' in my relationships. It's been my observation that a lot of men truly don't like this behaviour and are turned off by it. Perhaps taking away the thrill of the chase denies a male a sense of achievement and masculine sexual prowess. I could be entirely wrong - But every man I've chased has reliably fallen out of love with me, despite my best efforts to be everything a 'good' woman should be.
/r/seduction03/05/22 04:01 PM
2

An Amber Heard type may approach you 🤔 we walk among them on the daily. Quite literally the only way to subvert risk is to have a good sense of self, our values, a good filter for bullshit and a refusal to accept said bullshit.
/r/seduction03/05/22 03:52 PM
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To say any gender "should", by default, take all the initiative in courtship is pretty much entitlement and laziness.
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:53 PM
2

From an opportunity perspective, I agree fully. I'm not against this approach to dating, but it crosses an internal code of conduct for me individually.
/r/seduction26/04/22 05:03 PM
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It's becoming more normalized for both men and women now. I personally can't wrap my head around it - even talking to/flirting with more than one person at a time feels wrong to me. Everyone wants loyalty but nobody wants to make the commitment themselves it 🤪
/r/seduction26/04/22 02:14 PM
2

Oof. 😬 That's the thing, something is so 'missing' in them that they reeaaaaally can't have friendships either. Glad you axed that turd from your life!
/r/seduction24/04/22 08:45 PM
5

It took some time but I eventually did. The aftermath at the time was falling into 2 very unhealthy relationships out of fear of getting abandoned again but I reached a point where I refused to be a slave to my past and to old cycles. I worked on myself intensely, took accountability where needed and now I can happily say that I believe in healthy love (and good men) with my whole heart.
/r/seduction24/04/22 06:59 PM
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Hell yes OP. You are the fucking man! You will meet someone who checks your boxes and wants something mutually beneficial. But for now thank you for your integrity, it will make you a more confident man.
/r/seduction24/04/22 06:37 PM
3

You are definitely not alone, sucks that that happened for you! I think we blame ourselves in the moment, but the truth is we cannot expect everyone to have empathy or matching codes of conduct. I've never intentionally lead someone on for my entertainment and never will 😬
/r/seduction24/04/22 06:29 PM
3

My father has a similar issue and swears by salt-based deodorants. They come as a rollable salt crystal or as a fluid roll on, and work brilliantly because salt kills the bacteria that create body odour. The only downside to conventional deo is that it has no anti-perspirant qualities, but it definitely works like charm. I hope this is helpful, best of luck 🌸
/r/seduction24/04/22 06:19 PM
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No need to be! Was a hard lesson but a lesson nonetheless.
/r/seduction24/04/22 05:55 PM
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Typical dark psychology... God, theres a laundry list haha. Completely fluid and fake personality for every new person he dates or interacts with (he has no actual close friends whatsoever, except for the women he's cheating with who obviously never meet eachother). Creating a sensitive victim narrative to win sympathy and support as his targets are very soft and nurturing women. Lying, starting rumours, exaggerating and stirring shit with the target's closest loved ones (best friends, parents) …
/r/seduction24/04/22 05:53 PM
1

Only you know! Some people get hurt by manipulators because they get invested. Other people do not attach deeply and are actually energized by Rollercoaster romances.
/r/seduction24/04/22 05:24 PM
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OP, ultimately you know what you want from life. You are absolutely correct that sociopathic people get away with a lot in life, karma does not exist. However the recurrent theme among these people is that they are bottomless pits. No amount of puppeteering and cheap thrills rids them of their chronic boredom and self-loathing. I have an individual like this in my family. Constant rotation of women, serial cheating, manipulates like a mastermind. Despite being 'adored' by many, he is fucking mis…
/r/seduction24/04/22 05:19 PM
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You are absolutely right. This unfortunately happened to me -I was a kissless virgin when I met a guy at 19 who made me believe I was special, beautiful and that I made him happy. We had sex, and it was an extremely vulnerable and emotional experience for me. He continued the loving, caring charade until we had sex a second time before ghosting me for good. That experience destroyed my self-esteem, my ability to trust and open up to others and I was saddled with immense shame for years after. Lo…
/r/seduction24/04/22 04:56 PM
0

Brilliantly written post, agree with every point.
/r/seduction24/04/22 04:36 PM
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Perhaps listen to the part of you that wants to be ethical. "Toughing up" against guilt when you hurt and use people will render you a callous and bitter person in the end. You will not see good intent in others anymore because you will destroy it in yourself. The choice is yours.
/r/seduction24/04/22 04:32 PM
2

It sounds like you are a masochist. If you know he's a manipulator, you are obviously going to be taken for the ride of your life before you crash, burn and get discarded.
/r/seduction24/04/22 04:27 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/seduction16/04/22 11:04 AM
3

💜💜💜
/r/seduction16/04/22 11:04 AM
6

Been in your shoes, it's insane. When they love you, you feel like a thousand bucks but they rip the rug out under your feet at a whim. I'm so glad you got out of that situation, it truly becomes exhausting!
/r/seduction16/04/22 11:04 AM
2

Absolutely!
/r/seduction16/04/22 11:02 AM
7

Thank you, though I do think we can extend OP some empathy. Its normal to feel anger and cynicism after a person gives their heart to someone, does everything a "good" man should do and still gets his heart ripped out and trampled on. I've certainly felt like OP at a stage, but time and reflection have been the best teachers. We have no control over others but how we respond to them is a choice each and every time. We teach others how to love us.
/r/seduction16/04/22 11:02 AM
-2

Damn straight. 😬
/r/seduction16/04/22 07:10 AM
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You are so welcome! Just jogged my memory, but I found it helpful to look into Attachment Theory. Sometimes if there is a pattern of distance and coldness in our relationships, it could be that we grew up around this dynamic and are subconsciously drawn to people who keep us at a distance. Just a thought. But all the best OP! Don't let 'the game' corrupt you, I hope you find the love you deserve.
/r/seduction16/04/22 07:07 AM
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Intermittent reinforcement is chemically addictive in the brain, read up a little on this subject. You can make this a 'female' issue if this has been your personal experience, but after years of being a very sweet, meek, reliable and generous woman in relationships I've also been messed around badly by men who were crazy over me until they got bored of me. I would work my ass off (driving, cooking, gifts, sex, financial help etc.) but the more I gave, the more it was taken for granted and the l…
/r/seduction16/04/22 06:33 AM
2

I absolutely agree. I would even argue that guys who call women "man" and "dude" are not very interested in them. But calling a male "girl" just takes that shit to a whole other level... My theory is that most heterosexual people are sexually attracted to polarity. When someone starts esmasculating or defeminizing you, you know you're not their first pick
/r/seduction25/03/22 07:01 PM
2

Nasty game honestly - only insecure women need a rotating circle of orbiters. But yeah, I think this chick definitely isn't interested in OP. He's 'one of the girls'.
/r/seduction25/03/22 06:58 PM
4

You are a very level headed dude and I commend you for that!
/r/seduction25/03/22 06:45 PM
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My take: There was nothing stopping her from forming her opinion on you and making an informed decision to stop hanging out with you based on that. But she felt the need to not only tell you you are "boring" but to literally show you texts she sent to her friends about how "boring" you are. It goes beyond honesty to mean-spiritnedness and crosses a social line. For example you meet a girl and she's not as pretty IRL as you thought she would be. You might acknowledge that and decide not to see he…
/r/seduction25/03/22 06:03 PM
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Just putting it out there that the girl you were seeing was a fucking bitch honestly. I'd be willing to take a bet you're not boring at all - maybe boring to people who are clearly a bit superficial and quite nasty. Please don't internalize the crap she said because it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Also embrace you are are. I'm personally rather introverted and like you, I don't have wild stories to tell, lots of friends, I don't go to parties or know anything about popular media. But,…
/r/seduction25/03/22 05:15 PM
3

Spot on
/r/seduction25/03/22 04:57 PM
5

Loool, I'm sure that would make for some funny exchanges 😂 I'm all for it honestly - a good deflection
/r/seduction25/03/22 04:57 PM
1

Great plan actually!
/r/seduction25/03/22 04:55 PM
3

Yes! And confidence, confidence, confidence. Focus inward. Women are extremely attracted to men who are secure within themselves.
/r/seduction12/03/22 07:59 PM
2

Yes. Authenticity will give you long term success. Anything else, despite causing initial attraction will become exhausting and toxic for both parties if the relationship materializes to anything outside of brief term casual sex.
/r/seduction12/03/22 07:58 PM
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Erm... It is bizarre, but this kink roughly sounds like 'race play'. Its essentially like many other kinks in that it toys with the idea of transference of power between participants. The idea turns my stomach a bit but there's a kink or fetish for everything under the sun.
/r/seduction20/02/22 06:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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