Tinder makes me depressed!

1keentolearn12 · 2022-06-07T10:32:43+00:00

Stay away from anything that makes you depressed

sexsex69420irl · 2022-06-07T10:00:56+00:00

Tinder's business model is to make men depressed and lonely that they pay to cut the queue.Fuck tinder bud.

epimpstyle · 2022-06-07T11:06:24+00:00

If you are using tinder you compete with thousands of better-looking guys than you.

If you are doing a day game, you compete with only 1 or 2 other guys from hundreds who have the balls to approach a girl on the street.

SocialReject101 · 2022-06-07T09:26:26+00:00

I am average looking and live in Eastern Europe and swipe right around 30% of profiles. 6 years ago I got many matches and multiple dates. Recently I got some proffesional photos and decided to try Tinder once more. In 2 weeks I got 6 likes. Only thing that changed is that I am 33 years old now. The app is absolute trash.

MasterTeacher123 · 2022-06-07T10:07:30+00:00

The golden age for tinder for me was 2012-2016. I ate real well on there that time

HatchetXL · 2022-06-07T17:51:52+00:00

You are definitely not alone! Do NOT let that cyber bullshit drag you down. I have had tinder on and off for 3 years. I have had conversations with two women that were like... real people. Never met them in person. I have had conversations with 4 women who wanted my credit card information for 'their safety' and one who wanted to meet me at a hotel for the low LOW PRICE OF 500 dollars an hour. It fucked me up in the head for a while. And then I came to a point where I swiped right on EVERYONE and havent had a match in over a year. Yet I am currently sitting smoking a cigarette on the porch of a lovely lady I met at work.

Real life is where true connections are made bud. Fuck how that other shit makes you feel. Less than worthy. Less than perfect.

YOU ARE PERFECT. You need to meet people face to face. Talk to people, with no destination in mind. Suddenly you will find yourself sleeping on the couch of a lady you previously thought was way out of your league. Why? Because SHE sees something in tou that YOU no longer see because of the damage that tinder and shit has done to you.

Delete it. Go frisbee golfing. Go to the beach. Just say hi to random people. Offer free hugs or fetch a kids toy out the water that a mean older sister threw in too deep dont be weird dont be out for pussy. Just, be you. There is value in YOU.

Floloppi · 2022-06-07T09:22:13+00:00

Fuck tinder bro, all the hoes on tinder live in their abundance bubble feeling like angels because every dude there treats them like they are… focus on daygame and get better, and do it the old fashioned way, keep it up!

SGrosch · 2022-06-07T15:08:59+00:00

Most guys profiles are horrible, you got to realize it’s basically an advertisement trying to sell you. What story does each pic convey? How does each pic make you look awesome? If you don’t have all that stuff dialed in thenyour profiles gonna suck.

MindlessAd63 · 2022-06-07T17:34:14+00:00

Had the same experience with Tinder in 2017. Only three or four matches a week that never turned into anything. After a couple of months, I became depressed and started to really doubt myself. One night I was feeling really down so I went out to a bar to see some live music. There were two women there out for a night of dancing and I started dancing near them. Long story short, within 45 minutes of arriving at the bar I was in the back seat of my car with one of those women who was then completely topless. She came over to my place a couple of times to hook up after that. So don’t let Tinder play with your mind! It gives you a completely false impression about yourself. Tinder is for guys with model looks and nobody else.

thedreamkillers · 2022-06-07T09:58:36+00:00

women hold the keys on dating apps, i hooked up with some landwhale once and asked her to show her tinder. she had just 8 matches and the usual +99 likes. the right to left swipe ratio is just insane (women seem to swipe only ~5% of the profiles right) and even unattractive women seem to be heavily contested.

that being said, you can still get results on tinder if you're willing to experiment a shit ton until you manage to put together a profile that works.

adityasood99 · 2022-06-07T13:42:09+00:00

Here is my two cents:

If you have a free account, tinder gives your profile a boost for only a limited time and you get matches for that boost period only. This is done to give you a taste of how exiciting these dating apps can be. After that if you dont purchase tinder gold or whatever they call it, your profile is placed at the very bottom. So, your profile doesnt even appear before most women. Meaning zero matches.
All these dating profiles are favourable towards women. Imagine this, if you were getting 100s of matches everyday, would you rather spend most of your time texting with one match? You would enjoy the attention from all the matches. You would ghost up on a match as soon as you come accross a better looking and more interesting match. This is the case with women. They get tones of matches everyday. I have personally witnessed it through my female friend's account.
Donot and i repeat donot let these dating apps define you. I completely understand what you are saying. I have been through the exact same issues. I downloaded these apps as well during covid and didnt get a single match or would get matched with a bot. I know it sucks but thats dating apps for you. Dont let them define you. They are not a reflection of who you are.
I would recommend talking to women in person. There are women who still prefer men approach them in person. As for your fear of rejection and possible repercussions like suspension and getting reported, i would say simply talk to women without any active thought of getting laid. What i mean is that talk to them about stuff you like and ask questions about their interests. If you find them interesting, offer to take them for drinks. Tell them that you are going to this 'xyz' bar or pub or whatever and she is welcome to join if she wants. This would give an idea that you are going to this bar irrespective of whether she wants to join or not. For starters it doesnt appear as a desperate attempt to get a girl, and secondly it minimises the awkwardness if the women declines.

Let me know what you folks think of dating apps. Cheers!!

TimiNateBini · 2022-06-07T16:59:30+00:00

Delete the app man. Even if you're not ready to start cold approaches if it makes you depressed or question your self worth remove it. I had to get rid of mine recently

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-06-07T13:17:40+00:00

Delete the app and instead study, exercise, learn how to meditate or create wealth. Literally do anything else. OLD is a complete waste of time. You want to be learning and making experiences.

Magrudagrind · 2022-06-07T10:44:12+00:00

Dating apps should always be supplemental and never a direct source for meeting dates.

Puzzleheaded_Fox819 · 2022-06-07T14:52:35+00:00

Drive uber and you’ll meet a lot of hot women, and you’ll actually get to know each other. This job cured my depression. It’s not perfect, and you’ll meet some weirdos, but you can meet hotties very often. I recently was banging a pharmacist I picked up one night driving Uber. She wasn’t a great person, but it was fun while it lasted. I consider myself handsome and women on tinder NEVER reply to me. Like, ever lol. In person it’s way way different. Driving Uber they come to you.

ozzzy83 · 2022-06-07T20:53:31+00:00

Men, what I see on Tinder is more and more hot girls using it to promote their IG, so they can advertise their OF account there. They are using men who are thinking with a lower head.

SuaveFuck · 2022-06-08T09:09:29+00:00

let me tell you something, sunshine.

im a 37 year old guy, below zeitgeist expectations looking. 2 days ago, for shits and giggles i decided to install the old tinder again. made an intentionally horrendous profile in which i admit to seeking only sex, that im sexist, homophobic, in short, EVERYTHING the zeitgeist media-controlled 25 year old woman would immediately hate. you see what im doing there. i dont even care to begin with.

by now tinder shows me, i got 3 likes! and guess what. those, i know, are just provided by tinder to make me buy premium or gold or whatever their nonsense is called. buy into it, those likes will suddenly disappear, im sure.

DO NOT, AGAIN, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES base your selfesteem on this app. never base your value on external sources anyhow, but ESPECIALLY not on how you are being rated or noticed on tinder. tinder isnt for meaningful social interaction. no thing in which you can "delete" people by swiping them away, can ever be healthy or meaningful. delete the app. go out, talk to women.

MUCH better.

bahadurJoe · 2022-06-08T11:35:55+00:00

Get hotter. Do everything in your power to be more hotter than you are.

Tinder is a fairground for females to engorge themselves in free validation, and for the top men to take their pickings.

Don’t use it until you feel you’re hot enough to game the system. Jumping the gun will only end in disappointment.

Woujo · 2022-06-07T12:55:32+00:00

Go meet people in person then

DMaN4245 · 2022-06-07T15:02:47+00:00

Get off Tinder Start approaching women in person! College is an excellent place to practice!

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-06-07T09:09:32+00:00

Your picture need to be spectacular to be above the rest. It a 10 to 1 male female ratio on tinder.

redditor4206903 · 2022-06-07T13:52:01+00:00

Dont use it than...

JohntheAnabaptist · 2022-06-07T16:16:14+00:00

The real problem is being a teenager

thatnewaccnt · 2022-06-07T09:08:08+00:00

Pretty much. It’s a ploy to steal your money

maxpossimpible · 2022-06-07T14:28:47+00:00

Understanding that either your profile is shit or you're a super average dude is pretty good though.

use /r/tinder and let people judge your profile.

bc_951 · 2022-06-08T00:31:50+00:00

Agreed. After following some YouTube tutorials and working on my confidence, I was finally able to acquire ~50 matches/~80 likes total in 4 months and hook up with 3 girls off tinder last semester. Now, I am in San Jose for the summer (which carries the delightful sobriquet Man Jose due to the great imbalance of young men/women in the area), and I had to delete the app because even my optimized profile was no longer getting matches. Plus, in retrospect, none of the girls with whom I hooked up genuinely attracted me; I had to acquiesce in my sexual desperation. I’m glad I’m not alone in my animosity towards the app. I have never cold approached in person due to social anxiety and ineptitude, but these conversations reassure me that they are worth the investment!

Fapandwarmshowers · 2022-06-07T09:55:45+00:00

If you train hard with weights and have a good natural physique,if your grooming is onpoint, if your hygiene is perfect, if you are very socialable,very charming and have great photos take by a good professional photographer then you will be good on tinder.

turtle_fanatic · 2022-06-07T13:58:48+00:00

Try using hinge. I wasn’t having any luck on tinder but started getting a lot more matches on hinge. The quality of the girls is a lot different. A lot of tinder accounts are just thirst traps with socials linked. Girls on hinge have a lot more substance in my experience

No_Fee_5301 · 2022-06-07T15:29:23+00:00

That’s the disadvantage of far more men wanting casual sex than women - casual sex benefits men far more so the dating apps are all very heavily over-saturated with men and very few women in comparison. So men end up with a huge amount of competition.

Only_Potential · 2022-06-07T14:39:19+00:00

Put yourself in a female's shoes. If you were even slightly attractive as a woman, you are getting a lot of likes and matches on Tinder. Obviously, you're not gonna swipe right on every single dude you see. Unless you are an absolute Chad or have pictures showing you are living in pretty much a dream world, you will probably be like the other 90% of guys on Tinder.

feriz_xyz · 2022-06-07T11:43:40+00:00

Yeah bro, I feel you. I'd say, if you're gonna have and kind of reasonable standards for women and NOT be in the top 20% of male profiles, just get off Tinder and focus on other ways of sourcing (meeting) girls.

kathruins · 2022-06-07T12:26:42+00:00

yes its like that for all guys. you get 3 matches a month and women get 3 matches a day, or hour if they're really trying. a typical bi woman's inbox is flooded with "hey" or "what's up?" from 50 dudes and "i like your aesthetic" from 10 women. you're going to have to stand out and make minimal mistakes. that's just the way it is. that's why i like to establish a couple common interests then set a date right away--less time for ghosting or for someone else to swoop in.

Jtenka · 2022-06-07T13:00:31+00:00

The tinder algorithm is absolutely shit. When I recently installed it I had about 16 matches in a few days. I couldn't see who they were. I was offered a promo code to "see matches and be more visible". I'm going to Zante in a few days so thought why not, there's gotta be loads of girls there.

Once I cleared out the matches it's been dry as fuck. I used a boost at peak time and not even one like. It's so obvious that tinder limits your profile. Now realising there's a premium plus category to further increase your visibility. Surprise surprise.

Honestly fuck tinder. What was once the premium dating app 6 or so years ago is now an add riddled cess pit with a bad algorithm. designed only to suck money out of people. Stick with bumble or some other sites.

brianjersy · 2022-06-07T15:06:06+00:00

sad to say but... try premium.

Lighthero34 · 2022-06-07T15:08:20+00:00

Only 1% of girls off tinder will actually meet you. This is true even for above average or top tier men.

The difference is the amount of likes you get.

Mathematically you need to get at least 100 matches to get a chance of meeting one. This is obviously exaggeration and those numbers aren't based on anything. Tinder is for people with high sex appeal. Women in general have high sex appeal naturally, but if you don't have an aesthetic body yet you won't get matches.

The solution is to get ripped post photos that show that you fuck. Then you'll get your 1%-ers a lot easier.

ImmortallTear · 2022-06-07T15:11:29+00:00

I prefer hinge

2022-06-07T15:30:41+00:00

Tinder only works if you put a lot of work into your looks and getting attractive unique authentic looking pics. Your age is a disadvantage but every guy has some disadvantage and it is possible for you to do well on tinder.

For cold approach I suggest you doing it more subtly, and doing cold approach in more areas, especially those where approaching strangers is more acceptable. Also don't forget that social circle will get you the best results but you have to invest in it. Remember that for both of these you can run into the "poisoning of the well" effect if you overdo them.

zarapwnge · 2022-06-07T15:31:16+00:00

Feel the same: have a friend of mine which everyone say he is less good looking and more stupid than me which has 10x the likes I have. It is the type of friend which in highschool didn’t go well with girls while I was full of admirer but hey, life changes. I want just to say that the average girl on Tinder is 1)stupid and will search What is similar to her or 2)desperate: in this case you will go for a date if u have the fortune to be the one she suddenly linked to: I have done it. But in general is just a waste of time and will only brings you bad emotons so stay away, you have better things to do and to give in this world. Peace.

countsunny · 2022-06-07T15:32:37+00:00

The world is bigger than dating apps. Enrich other aspects of your life, try day game, etc.

Big_Numbers_Guy · 2022-06-07T16:01:42+00:00

Much easier to go talk to cute girls that you notice making eye contact with you

Nervous_Elephant_547 · 2022-06-07T16:08:20+00:00

Bruh, (i'm 23 M still on uni and feeling depressed too) that's why i never take tinder seriously. People on the internet can be more judgemental sometimes, including dating site. I've got 2 dates from dating site, tinder and okc. But thoose relationship are not long enough. I wouldn't say that dating site is bad, but if u looking for a serious relationship, peoples arround u are better, like friend or meet someone at coffeeshop or something like that. And now i choose to being single for a while single cus tbh, i'm tired about everything including dating. So i just trying to focus on my self now, although i can feel lonely too sometimes but that's okay. Sometimes i still open my tinder and okc too when i'm bored or just need someone to talk, but never take it seriously.

EthicalSeduction · 2022-06-07T17:47:55+00:00

So I personally found Tinder really easy to use and get dates. And I think it's because Tinder works really quick at getting you started talking. Both people swipe right and then you chat. So if you are good at the chatting part, then you can probably land the date. (Most dating apps I think basically try and help the two people start a conversation. That's the goal and you are expected to take it from there.)

So how do you get started having a good quality conversation?

First study the picture and look for clues. What do you see in the background? What are they wearing? What is so interesting to you about them that you swiped right? (Don't say "they were pretty" but dig deeper into what they actual meant to you. Was is their confidant look or fun style?) Is there anything in the photo that you can use to start a conversation?
Why did you swipe right? What did you want to know more about? Can you politely ask about this? Show them that you noticed something cool about them that made you want to know more. (In some ways this is like a test. You saw something cool and want to find out if they actually are. So ask. Be inquisitive.)
Look for shared interests and things you have in common. The point of a conversation is to find out more about the person to know if you want to invest more time and energy into them. And the only reason you really would is if you can (1) find some common interest and (2) team up with them to explore those interest. So again, be interested in who they are.

Try to have a real conversation with them because you want to know who they actually are beyond the photo. If you can have the conversation and make it fun and engaging, then you will get the date. And if you do the same thing on the date, you will date another date. It's the process of discovery. :)

Extra-Boysenberry · 2022-06-07T13:59:33+00:00

I’ve honestly had success with Tinder, and it’s gotten me laid a handful of times. It still made me depressed. Hookups and casual flings get old after awhile. I’m to the point in life where I’d rather have a wholesome girlfriend I could grow with. I just unfortunately can’t find one.

Tinder and apps destroyed dating. A good chunk of women don’t wanna settle down, because it’s more fun to have hundreds of guys simp for them off an app. The options they have is insane. Incels for all their faults, experimented that an average woman has more success on Tinder, than a top tier male chad.

ftdrain · 2022-06-07T12:20:27+00:00

I started being successful on Tinder after I got the body of Brad Pitt@Troy, its doable 🤣

Impressive_Pomelo847 · 2022-06-07T16:26:46+00:00

That’s the name of the game. It really is like that, Tinder does not reflect your worth at all, it’s super tilted in favour of women and the 5% of super hot men.

mindofsound · 2022-06-07T16:46:03+00:00

I do quite well on Tinder, but I'm in my mid-40s. Yeah, your young age probably has a lot to do with it. Women tend to look for men older than them generally, and you're not older than many. Otherwise, it might be something about your profile or your approach, but I can't see it so that's just speculation. Just remember that the best looking girls have many more guys hitting them up than they can respond to, so if you expect a response, you better say something more than just "hey." Starting with a provocative question helps, or even a gif.

cobraCL · 2022-06-07T17:10:05+00:00

Fuck Tinder. The dynamic is unnatural and messed up.

spacecommanderfap · 2022-06-07T17:46:40+00:00

If you are using the free tinder it works by giving a new profile a exposure boost, wich slows down to a crawl after you get your first couple of matches. They hope you start paying to keep the matches flowing. But you don't, you just delete the app and try again, I do this numerous times. It's kinda like throwing your fishing pole out again after having no luck the first time. Also looks doesn't mean shit anymore most girls only care about the lifestyle you can provide for them. I am a very handsome man, not bragging or anything but I have heard that all my life from numerous hookups, I was once scouted for one of the largest modelling agencys in my country. But I am not rich so my profile is mostly selfies without fancy cars or boats, and my succes on tinder is very average.

Only_Commercial_774 · 2022-06-07T19:36:00+00:00

You’re a bad texter like me it’s not something to be depressed about

humptyone · 2022-06-07T21:27:16+00:00

Go where the girls are. Most know the apps are just for hookups anyway.

rudebwoy100 · 2022-06-07T23:38:25+00:00

You fear being kicked off campus for approaching women and speaking to them? If this would ever be possible i fear for your generation in the West as that is very anti man.

Successful_Teach366 · 2022-06-07T23:56:49+00:00

I think you’ve built an addiction to game friend. Time for some inner finding yourself and work. Why isn’t being yourself good enough without a girl to hook up with. Start with that question

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-06-08T00:23:40+00:00

i've been on bumble for over three years and just lost my dry spell so don't worry about it especially if you pull girls aside from that

ZachMoore88 · 2022-06-08T00:49:55+00:00

Let's rewind and talk about what happened that scared you off of cold approaching. You said you were worried about getting reported and/or kicked out for havimf a reputation. Care to elaborate?

Milltary32vs · 2022-06-08T00:51:00+00:00

This won't make you feel better(probably) you have value, do whatever makes you happy and duck everyone else. Enjoy your friends, enjoy your hobbies find the value in those and life will improve. I promise you'll see it.

kensei_ocelot · 2022-06-08T01:18:17+00:00

Here's a solution, turn off the tinder and speak to some women in person. You go to college, that's literally the easiest place to meet women, far easier than any club or bar. It sounds to me like you need to switch up your approach. In 2022, you can't be very aggressive when approaching women, you have to be much more subtle.

Nugget834 · 2022-06-08T01:43:25+00:00

Unless you invest in getting a professional dating profile photo shoot. I wouldn't bother with online dating...

I've done one in the past, and just did another one recently.

The results speak for themselves and it's well worth it.

But it's an investment with many people won't do it for various reasons.

If you don't want to invest in a shoot, I'd stick with going out in the real world.

Aquaberry1 · 2022-06-08T02:01:50+00:00

The hot women on tinder are their to boost their socials. The app itself doesn’t want you to match without paying. Stay off Tinder and focus on meeting women in person 🫡

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-06-08T02:13:44+00:00

Even the top 10 percent on tinder only get a few matchs a month.

dani098 · 2022-06-08T02:40:10+00:00

I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m in pretty good shape and good looking. And I get next to zero matches in almost 0 responses. Lol I do fairly well with women, I would say my luck is higher than average but absolutely zero on Tinder. Lol what the fuck

I had a girl tell me today that pretty much everybody she meets is about half as good looking as the actual pictures. That was her opinion but that’s something to think about. It’s definitely not a healthy app

ForsakenBadger8 · 2022-06-08T03:24:08+00:00

me too. dating apps suck and it’s like ugh how am i gonna find my husband if no one ever approaches me and i don’t use dating apps bc it makes me realize how ugly i am 👺👺👺

bukendaa · 2022-06-08T05:47:09+00:00

21st century dating is a shit show now anyway tinder or no tinder. Women in western countries only want Brad Pitt replicas… be funny when some of there children come out “avg” or “less then”…jokes on you beautiful people.

BigAl6inch · 2022-06-08T07:21:39+00:00

Same. Only had 2 or 3 chats that almost made it to a date. Just keep getting ghosted. I realised that deleting and re-uploading a pic boosts your chances of matches. But never goes anywhere

a_squarred · 2022-06-08T07:35:03+00:00

I personally detest this app since it does the same to me. I’ve discussed it with friends before and some of them insist it’s a no-brainer because you basically have access to dozens even hundreds of girls. However it requires a lot of commitment. I mean you need to maintain a likeable social media life. You know - pleasant and intriguing guy, loves to travel (and actually does so), yet not appearing needy because you have your own plan that you’re following. Suddenly you find yourself in a situation where you keep constantly working for the benefit of your social media profile. The app takes advantage of one’s most primal perception of another. Basically you have to trigger exactly that in girls.

Since I am totally against social media and the false lifestyle they try to impose on all of us I find Tinder a really bad place for me. I believe that its the emanation of lies in a certain manner. However it does its job for a lot of guys so there’s that. To each their own.

In conclusion - if it makes you feel bad and doubt yourself dedicate time on different approaches. Leave it be on “stand by” but you should focus on real interactions more when possible.

Real-Edge-9288 · 2022-06-08T09:03:37+00:00

hahaha tell us something we don't know. tinder is shit. fuck that app. I installed it and deleted it many times. You need good photos...but not too good bcs women will see you as try hard... its better to wipe it down your phone asap. go out and approach women. some might see you creepy but some might be happy you approached them. anyways, thats what I am going to do.

Boring_Ebb7908 · 2022-06-08T13:21:37+00:00

Dating apps siphon my confidence too. Especially Tinder. I always see people on them and thought I'd try but, honestly its more fulfilling just doing it the old fashioned way lol. As a guy on a dating app nowadays I just rapid fire through people just to get someone to talk to and make friends lol. But cold approaching in the real world or naturally turning friendships into relationships is what turns out to be true I think.

When you're on a dating app, people judge you based on there first impression of your looks and profile - in a real world scenario its much different, we judge people based on all sorts of things. Looks yes, but also how it feels to talk to someone. The chemistry. People dont go through that when they swipe, so dont doubt yourself, online dating is more superficial. It can work but its rare in my opinion, and keep in mind, women on these apps have a sea of men to choose from while men work with a puddle. When you're making connections in the real world, it can begin to feel like the opposite, just gotta make sure you're friendly and not brazenly pursuing these people off the bat. You dont need a dating app to date people.

Title	Tinder makes me depressed!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	127
Comments	199
Date	June 7, 2022 9:01 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v6qogw/tinder_makes_me_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tinder-makes-me-depressed.1257720 https://theredarchive.com/post/1257720

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