TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

vardarac Archive

View 5 posts and 1,259 comments by vardarac on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,259 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

If you're like me, for the most part, your emotions aren't downstream from your thoughts; instead, your thoughts are downstream from your emotions. There isn't a switch I can just flip in my brain that will make me not be anxious as hell when talking with a woman I am very attracted to. This sounds like a trauma response. I haven't gotten over mine, but I notice that it becomes easier to deal with during times of social support, disciplined exercise, and measurable successes outside of dating. I…
/r/seduction15/06/26 04:23 PM
1

​ Just do and say the things you feel in the moment. Yeah but my instincts are bad. If I'm overreading because I'm autistic, I'm probably also saying some nonsensical offhand remark because I'm autistic, or anxious, or both.
/r/seduction15/06/26 03:22 PM
1

Not to press, but would you mind being more specific? I ask because my problem for a while, maybe always, has been that I am not truly happy with myself or my own company. Like even if I achieved and grew a lot from my current self I might have more self-respect, but ultimately I would not really be happy. Little about my life or my self compel me to just exist forever in the absence of both youth and intimacy. What made you decide that you were enough for you?
/r/seduction15/06/26 01:00 PM
1

I understand this is easier said than done, it took a lot of working on myself to reach this point What changed?
/r/seduction15/06/26 05:53 AM
1

Well, for them it might be a problem with capacity to understand the concepts put forward. For us, it's understandable avoidance of the information (direct experience) we'd need to grasp and apply the concepts.
/r/seduction12/06/26 06:24 AM
0

You're right. The quantity of my approaches was too low throughout my adolescence. While it became more of a "normal person's" number of approaches over a long time, the fact that those approaches didn't have much quality due to still underdeveloped social skills from those low quantities meant that I remained quite behind in terms of both skill and sensitivity. Today I'm much more calibrated and aware, and I feel that I now have a decent set of general social skills that help me make new friend…
/r/seduction12/06/26 06:21 AM
3

Maybe this is cliche, but I'm sorry you went through that, and hope you are able to feel pride about the effort you've made and the struggles you've survived.
/r/seduction12/06/26 02:05 AM
2

Turning off the mind seems easy once you can do it, but it’s a nightmare when you can’t. oh hi do you also have a depressive anxiety demon
/r/seduction12/06/26 01:51 AM
1

I am pretty good at making connections in places where I regular, because several low stakes interactions open people up and give me a foundation of info to work off of. I'm also an excellent active listener, so I can make people feel safe make deeper connections fairly quickly. My sense of humor is a bit of a double-edged sword, but the good side disarms people and makes them want to stick around more often than not. The environments I frequent allow me to showcase public-facing hobbies that I …
/r/seduction12/06/26 01:48 AM
1

If I could offer the inverse of this, you can gain decades of experience and never see results if you're unable to resolve your mental health issues. Case in point, yours truly.
/r/seduction12/06/26 01:38 AM
0

Desensitization can work, just make sure you're expecting mistakes and failures and not pointing them at yourself. Keep a lid on yourself when you start to succeed, and be aware that even good situations can implode without warning too. The main thing is to just not beat yourself up over stuff not going your way; I still take my failures really really hard and that is not the way.
/r/seduction11/06/26 07:31 PM
0

Just going up and saying "hi, i'm blah" has worked for me before. But I think that just defers your actual opener or remark. I consider myself great at creative or situational openers, but I also find it really difficult for people without many defining characteristics. They might look great, but there might be no tattoos, no accessories, nothing to give you a hook on; like she might be in a gym outfit or very plain clothes. I also struggle for follow-up questions or remarks when the interaction…
/r/seduction11/06/26 07:28 PM
3

Strong eye contact is good since it displays confidence, but you should be aware of the conveyed intensity and meaning. Too short and you look like you're anxious, too long and intense and if you don't know her, you look like a wolf staring down a rabbit. You can change the length and directness of your eye contact based on how comfortable she is and what your emotional states both are. The "wolf looking at a rabbit thing" is completely different when she's comfortable around and attracted to yo…
/r/seduction11/06/26 07:11 PM
1

I don't know if you are a bit on the spectrum like myself, but we tend to take stuff literally and super seriously when we're starting out. Humans in general used to live in relatively tiny tribes where saying something wrong could mean being humiliated in front of everyone you'd ever be able to meet, so social missteps were a much bigger deal. Obviously today that is not the case unless you're a regular in smaller establishments (church, a bar, local school, a class, etc). A few things here. Th…
/r/seduction11/06/26 03:47 PM
1

I don’t know why a guy would want to waste his time and seduce a woman with little interest. The one time I did manage to do this was like absolute fireworks. Helped that we seemed to have pretty aligned mutual interests. So between the unexpected intensity and how infrequently I find women I can make more than a just "personalities click" connection with I find the time worth it. But I am in multiple forms of scarcity.
/r/seduction10/06/26 03:43 PM
1

I would probably be in my fifties if I attempted to patch all the holes before I tried to sail. On the other hand, this analogy doesn't hold water.
/r/seduction10/06/26 02:59 PM
2

I think it's more likely to be well-intentioned naivete than malice. It's quite literally hard for people without these problems to imagine what experiencing them is like.
/r/seduction10/06/26 02:57 PM
1

Yeah, the intention behind JBY is "don't let fear or desire distort your personality, let the value of that unfiltered self shine through." That's not altogether terrible, but it leaves out so much. As it has to, since it's a thought-terminating cliche.
/r/seduction10/06/26 02:48 PM
1

Well, what have you been doing up to now that hasn't been working?
/r/seduction10/06/26 02:39 PM
1

But aren’t those women already preselecting for looks. Why don't you ask them? You seem to have decided already, rather than do that the necessary hundreds or thousands of times. You have told us in another comment your age and alluded to a lifelong lack of success, but I'm the same age and a similar boat, and I can point exactly to where and how I'm failing. I can tell you for sure those failures aren't because I'm physically tiny or have noticeably crooked lower teeth (though I'm sure those th…
/r/seduction10/06/26 02:27 PM
1

But if seduction okay works on certain people, how is it a learned skill? Suppose you roll up on a smoking hot baddie. You might be flustered. You might be at a complete loss for words. You might struggle for conversational topics. You might want to flirt with her but not know how. You might think you need permission to try, you might feel yourself hesitate a lot. The whole point of this process is finding the vibes and the words and the mindset to push through all that bullshit and properly sho…
/r/seduction10/06/26 11:07 AM
7

Non-attraction is pretty different from unattractiveness, or repulsiveness. Not all but many guys who write themselves off as physically unattractive are very likely just average or have minor flaws, which amounts to feeling inadequate in an age of social media and AI superhuman attractiveness plastered everywhere for one to compare himself to. Our ordinary guys probably have to work harder to connect and demonstrate their value, but that's far from meaning they have no chance. I would venture t…
/r/seduction10/06/26 10:33 AM
46

It is and it isn't. Social skills are learned. Emotional resilience is in ways a skill. Flirting is a skill. Logistics is a skill. Good combinations of those things will not magically make a person who isn't attracted to you, attracted. In rare cases you might get someone to see you in a different light than they were initially open to, but it's often easier to just jump to the next person to try again. But what these skills will do is, they will help you find those people who are attracted to y…
/r/seduction10/06/26 10:24 AM
2

Speaking as an anxious-avoidant guy, it's possible that she doesn't trust herself to have that conversation and remain connected to someone she cares about.
/r/seduction10/06/26 10:19 AM
1

I have a hard time just starting the approach which I say is my biggest issue Low pressure observational or situational openers. If you can't think of anything interesting or are putting pressure on yourself to do so, default to "hi, my name is blah." You don't need permission to approach people this way. Once it's a habit it will be super easy to approach anyone, just make sure you're not only approaching women. but always find myself getting into the flow when You might be overstimulated when …
/r/seduction10/06/26 09:57 AM
1

The few women I have dated never opened up about those things, and I never asked them. Everything was pretty vanilla.
/r/seduction10/06/26 04:24 AM
8

Therapy is right. Not to judge you OP, but it seems like you have a lot of deep guilt, dishonesty, and safety-management (anxiety) issues that we're definitely not going to be able to tackle in Reddit comments. I wrote quite a lot before packing it up and realizing it was insane for me to be writing a book here. But if you want to hear it my DMs are open.
/r/seduction10/06/26 03:34 AM
2

I don't remember what I was doing, but at one point I look up and they're both gone. You might be right. Perhaps the moment was this: I don't remember what I was doing, but at one point I look up and they're both gone. Might not seem like much but unless you said something before you got distracted from them, that might have given them pause. Actually wait, looking back again you say you did actually text her. Yeah I think you just needed to float a specific date idea and invite her to it instea…
/r/seduction09/06/26 11:11 PM
4

You, like me, might fumble out of anxiety when you notice yourself starting to succeed, because you're implicitly telling yourself "I can't possibly keep her in this state." What does that look like? Could look like many things. You don't commit to or start leaning on the attraction that is there. You hesitate. You withdraw. You hedge. The fun guy that was there a second ago seems uneasy or like there's something occupying him instead of being as fluid as he was a second ago. If you are just now…
/r/seduction09/06/26 10:35 PM
2

I can't speak for the guy you're commenting on, but I think it's "seeing" her when she talks about something very impactful or important to her. You express how thoroughly you understand it. This is much stronger still if you have a similar experience. This is why "trauma bonding" is a thing. But it isn't limited to trauma, it can work for any kind of emotionally intense thing. It's why some couples bond over stuff as simple as quoting TV shows to one another, the same things make them laugh.
/r/seduction09/06/26 10:28 PM
2

when inquire about seeing her again. This is where you lead instead of asking, and let her decline or not respond. Instead of passively asking if she's available, tell her about this amazing place you want to take her on a specific day at a specific time. It's okay to be open-ended to keep pressure off until planning and logistics. That requires precision and taking the labor off of her thinking about her "general" availability or interests.
/r/seduction09/06/26 10:25 PM
1

But if the thing is that if taking a competent lead is attractive, then it makes sense that OP's not yet having developed or displayed those qualities would explain his results, right? She isn't turned on because he isn't doing things to turn her on.
/r/seduction09/06/26 10:22 PM
1

This is not at all consistent with 90% of women you talk to giving you their number and certainly not 60-80% turning up on dates. I think when he talks about women he "talks to" he means specifically the ones that actually hook and continue talking to him, not how many he's approached in total. Your comment might also benefit from proposing alternatives if you think there are more optimal approaches.
/r/seduction09/06/26 08:11 PM
2

For me at least, since I'm (probably) a bit on the spectrum and the sort of guy who failed in a million different random "why would you ever do that" directions, examples were life-changing. In fact I think it was you who suggested Craig Ferguson, which helped me immensely a few years ago on dates but whose style is just one way of showing interest. The other night that dude I was talking about was doing the absolutely most braindead basic flirting ("wow you're so beautiful", "that's dangerous",…
/r/seduction09/06/26 07:31 PM
1

I'm pretty outgoing, have been for the past few years. Maybe I just regular too much at small town bars where things move slower, and the larger ones seem pretty cliquey where I'm at or people are already booed-up. Could be I don't have enough outgoing single male friends. Maybe it sounds crazy but despite how often I go out I rarely see people flirting, even at singles events. Like, seeing that guy the other night doing his thing (on the woman I was trying to talk to) was something I hadn't see…
/r/seduction09/06/26 06:55 PM
2

Getting called out for saying something insane and then just rolling with the punch is always fun. Good bar convo is mostly improv
/r/seduction09/06/26 06:07 PM
3

You're 100% right, but I think I (and most dudes with this problem) struggle because they don't have examples to draw on of what's good, what's bad, etc. so they don't know what to practice with. I had an unfortunate first-hand example the other night who I learned a lot from even though it cost me; it'd be nice to see dudes with that kind of experience approaching, talking, and flirting with women like that in a less stressful context. You've recommended Craig Ferguson before and he's great. Bu…
/r/seduction09/06/26 06:05 PM
1

I'm in a vaguely similar situation, but the attention and reception I've been getting has been improving a lot recently. The big thing is to spend as much time as you can in environments that improve your mood and make you feel less outcome dependent. If your hobbies and spaces are emotionally legible to most people, your good mood and ability to relate will give you a lot of leverage in connecting with them. This is all assuming your social basics and appearance are taken care of.
/r/seduction09/06/26 04:43 PM
1

Frankly, I think the “Let me have your instagram” is kicking the can down the road to avoid a face-to-face rejection. You think so? I'd been taught to think of it as like, she wants ig so she can vet your posts, your connections, she feels safer giving something she can block on than her number which is harder to change/easier to spoof to keep contacting. So in your experience is it that most of the time this question of safety/further investment suggests it wasn't an enthusiastic enough "yes" t…
/r/seduction08/06/26 07:59 PM
2

Saying no. Turning her face away. Tensing, freezing. Avoidant body language. Pushing away.
/r/seduction08/06/26 07:23 PM
1

If A, then I can try B. If B, then I can try C. If C, then I can try D. Do it all slowly, give her time to register it and respond. Watch her body language and expression. Just make sure you're not skipping steps when you're just starting to learn boundaries, and that you stop completely and dial back at least a few notches if she drops a hard no or freezes. When in doubt, treat yellow lights as red and focus in on making her feel good in other ways. You were doing right with the touch, basicall…
/r/seduction08/06/26 07:12 PM
2

So who are you really? You know, as nice as it would be to be whatever my self is with my whole chest and not feel the need to apologize, I don't know the answer to that, and because of my inherent needs for touch and desire, I think I'm not going to be able to satisfied with just knowing who I am or so pleased with just my own company, or to be truly indifferent. It is, as you say, a superpower. But what I can do is find in the world what helps me survive, and I can learn that I can survive fai…
/r/seduction08/06/26 06:40 PM
2

I'm reading your comment as relaxation being a continuous practice one consciously builds. It's something one should always reasonably be doing, not just as a response to acute stress or rumination, which is a lesson from therapy that I hadn't yet expanded as broadly as you seem to be suggesting. So that is helpful, thank you. You said it can be a dice roll whether experience helps. If I might add a data point, I was quite thoroughly destroyed by the other night's experience. But the next day af…
/r/seduction08/06/26 04:57 PM
2

Would you rather be a cuck I was literally that guy the other night. But I don't think it's those two choices. It's not that cut-and-dry. See, I could not respect myself, to be trying to make someone feel bad about themselves, just to make them want me more. That isn't my problem. My problem is not being unapologetic about what I want and accepting the risks to show it. That is why I got cucked, not because I abdicated cruelty or cared about her feelings. I would ask yourself; do you want a woma…
/r/seduction08/06/26 03:15 PM
1

Instead of thinking of positive signals being thrown your way, look for safe outlets and lack of negative signals. Is she moving fast? Headphones on? Talking to a friend and deeply involved? Move it on to someone who's not occupied or unavailable. Then it's just have a chat (with an easy exit for her) with someone because you want to have a go of it, there is no agenda or stakes attached to that if you're used to doing that everywhere with anyone.
/r/seduction08/06/26 01:38 PM
1

Rethink what you look at as signals. The signals aren't "come talk to me", they're "there is something interesting about me" or, actually, internal to you - that is, "I want to talk about this with someone." To make that more concrete you start talking to anyone because they're wearing or doing something interesting. You're feeling something and you want to express it. You give yourself permission to do that, not the other way around, though remember that the other person can revoke it at any ti…
/r/seduction08/06/26 01:37 PM
2

Thank you. Your writing speaks to my experience in some ways, one fairly recent. I'd originally put a long ramble about another night's experience mostly lining up with what you're saying, but suffice it to say the only thing I think we differ on is the importance of experience. The other night a guy very obviously with experience and without shame simply picked up a woman I'd started talking to a half hour before him. If I had done a lot more flirting to the point that it was more automatic and…
/r/seduction08/06/26 12:41 PM
1

If part of your lack of confidence is lack of practice with specific types of social skills; and then after you get enough of that practice, the trauma rooted in the failures... How do you then overcome that, plus the idea that no matter how good you appear to the person you want in the moment, you know some other swinging dick who will show up who is either better than you, or simply does not have things like shame or inhibition? My whole adult life was like that. I feel built to lose.
/r/seduction08/06/26 10:29 AM
6

you have so much time ahead of you it's not even funny
/r/seduction28/10/25 09:49 AM
1

the text back exercises fixed my dry messaging. may i know more about this
/r/seduction24/09/25 12:53 AM
1

I want to fully understand the position before I ridicule or accept it.
/r/seduction17/09/25 09:15 PM
1

"taking the lead as the man" is bad advice Don't lead her, lead yourself and she will follow willingly. Can you illustrate this with some examples?
/r/seduction17/09/25 12:16 AM
13

Hi, I'm X is a strong start, no matter what. But further than that: Read about the concept of cold reading. I'll be damned if I say I can try to carry a conversation, but I can usually eke out something to open or try to steer with. Cool earrings. They remind me of... You look like you're related to (celebrity/movie character). Are you a fortune teller? I'm getting Virgo. Basically just make some kind of educated guess that you can explain based on their behavior, appearance, or something happen…
/r/seduction16/09/25 02:17 AM
1

ok to dm you still?
/r/seduction13/09/25 08:12 AM
2

Me too. Stay on a good grind and have an upward trajectory. Remember that you will fuck up a lot and that's okay. That's part of the process, and different guys overcome their problems at different paces. If you see it as something wrong with you, it will perpetuate your problem. You need to be completely okay with the fact that you aren't where you want to be yet, and remember that every encounter is a 100% chance to grow, not an opportunity to mess up.
/r/seduction18/08/25 03:39 AM
1

I'm right there with you. Anxiety and low information about people sending otherwise okay social skills into the shitter
/r/seduction16/08/25 05:12 AM
2

In the meantime You're 21. If you spend a few years seriously tightening your social/flirting skills and up-valuing your lifestyle (friend circle, developing creative skills and hobbies, languages, dance, good living location, better style, knowledge of fun events and places, etc.), with that kind of a financial foundation, you will be an absolute beast in a few years. And even if you're not by then, there are guys who bloom in their 30s and can still date much younger. You have needs sure and i…
/r/seduction13/08/25 10:18 PM
2

You might try thinking, "I am curious about people, I want to learn how to have more fun and express my curiosity about them, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that." To me trying that makes it all less daunting because I feel no shame for approaching without all the skills, and because I get closer to getting those skills regardless of what the other person thinks of me. You might really want to get laid and not bother with all that stuff, but a lot of guys start there before really le…
/r/seduction13/08/25 09:51 PM
1

In your instance, you're combining both together I intend more to separate what we're talking about into three concepts. Platonic charisma (the kind you use with everyone), flirting (implying sexual or romantic interest, but not necessarily with seriousness), and escalation (which flirting effectively is for a previously sterile interaction, but which obviously goes well beyond it). Examples break this down pretty easily. Using the traditional definition, you don't flirt with your mother (or you…
/r/seduction13/08/25 02:22 PM
1

Examine deeply, like, ignore the dictionary and sociological definition of it? I'm not trying to be difficult. Words have meanings. You can be positive and warm and charismatic without expressing any sexuality at all, and you can express sexuality without any intention or achievement of escalation. Charisma isn't flirting isn't escalation. Like, maybe your mom loves your personality, but that doesn't mean you're flirting with her, right? I think we should just stick to the meanings we already ha…
/r/seduction13/08/25 01:49 PM
1

This isn't quite how most people understand flirting. If flirting is just sharing positive emotions, then you are flirting with your guy friends all the time, right? Flirting can be harmless fun, but it's mostly just (at first ambiguous) signals of sexual intent or possibility. It's what differentiates you from some sexually harmless guy friend who she hangs around all the time and likes personally but doesn't want to bang.
/r/seduction13/08/25 11:20 AM
9

Go on as many dates as you can with women yeah about that lol
/r/seduction12/08/25 06:53 PM
1

YouTube infields can be good. Craig Ferguson can give you a basic idea of flirting. Tons of decent resources have existed on here since well before AI became a thing. It depends on what you think your weaknesses are and what you think you need to address
/r/seduction11/08/25 08:36 PM
2

This guy has admitted to writing his posts with AI in the past, so it's likely. To be fair, it seems like he at least took out the em dashes and typographer quotes so it's possible he picked it over. Some possible hallmarks are still there though; "crucial" (GPT's favorite word), the engagement hook at the end, formal words like "distinction".
/r/seduction11/08/25 07:12 PM
1

I say basically let your origonal personality shine Worked for Prince.
/r/seduction11/08/25 02:00 PM
1

I think you both have good points. Anxiety is not necessarily within one's control, but one can try to do things to lower it acutely and over time. The trouble is that it's largely a subconscious, bodily thing, and it's very easy to reinforce and stay stuck there if your subsconscious ties rejection or mistakes to one's being low value.
/r/seduction11/08/25 12:53 AM
1

+1 to this. I do have skills I feel like, but anxiety makes me overbearing or distorts my personality and prevents me from actually using those skills. And instead of making things easier, failures or rejections actually heighten the anxiety and perpetuate the cycle, because reframing feels like cope. I'm doing my approaches and feel like I'm making plenty of platonic connections, but even many of those often feel shallow and ephemeral even if it seems like a good time was had. I should accept t…
/r/seduction11/08/25 12:48 AM
2

I have no idea how people do this long term. I'm just ready to find a wife and be over it lol I make some coin from my day job and basically commute to go out, lifting dumbbells at home. If I were to relocate it'd be to somewhere I can walk out on the street, meet women during the day, and find a lot of cool hobby groups to join. Having a kid/pets is really gonna eat your time though.
/r/seduction10/08/25 07:19 PM
6

keep people feeling like they're not enough and you make $$$
/r/seduction10/08/25 07:11 PM
1

Basically, you can "know" something is a mistake, but when you are anxious, you revert to habitual behaviors, even if you know those behaviors are the "wrong ones." This then leads you to believe that you will always behave this way, which reinforces the anxiety, which reinforces the mistakes, and so on.
/r/seduction10/08/25 06:32 PM
1

do you keep doing the same things, even though they are clearly a failure? You'd be amazed how long a situational anxiety loop can keep you making the same mistakes over... and over... and over again...
/r/seduction10/08/25 10:15 AM
1

Stop shying away from how you feel about her like a little girl So, I do this a lot, and the reason for it is a lot of the shame instilled in us by parents or society for expressing our desire (the ways we do it, or even doing it at all). We shouldn't stack shame on top of shame to solve that problem. We should tell men that there isn't a problem with feeling desire or expressing it, but that that expression has to come with calibration, no different than how we express any other emotion.
/r/seduction09/08/25 08:05 PM
1

How do you usually approach groups, especially large or closed-body-language groups? Or do you usually wait until the groups are smaller or she's by herself? EDIT: While we're here, is it cool if I DM you with some questions?
/r/seduction09/08/25 05:55 PM
1

i would read these frs
/r/seduction09/08/25 05:53 PM
3

So, I get why you want to do this. I've made some pretty bad decisions in similar situations. You don't want anyone to feel unsafe or uncomfortable because of you. You want to clear the air. That's fair and understandable. The problem is, you've shown that you act out of neediness in a way that makes other people feel unsafe. So now you are in a position where you need to "show" this person (who barely knows you) that you can be trusted to not do that again. If you try to "tell" them this, it is…
/r/seduction09/08/25 08:43 AM
2

i should just go be a monk, huh
/r/seduction09/08/25 07:58 AM
2

I'm definitely doing 2, but I'm unsure of 1. It's not being hung up on my appearance though I do obsess over it, it's more the awareness that I'm still very socially clumsy and nowhere close to fully realized. Maybe the answer at least right now is "this is just for fun and learning so mistakes don't matter"?
/r/seduction06/08/25 09:09 PM
1

What is the right mindset for this? "I am dying of thirst right now but I will get it right eventually so I can be patient?"
/r/seduction06/08/25 08:49 PM
2

Similar to IoIs. Moving closer, being turned toward you, playing with her hair, smiling a lot or laughing nervously, holding eye contact, going out of her way to touch you. Most of all, though, reciprocation. To really differentiate whether it's a freezing/fear response or nervous attraction, pull back and see how she responds, or if she really seems uncomfortable, ask her how she feels about what you're doing.
/r/seduction06/08/25 01:34 PM
2

Not sure if this is imposter syndrome or something else That's what it sounds like. You know, logically, that you've put in the work. But your subconscious is telling you that the receptiveness you're receiving is conditional, lucky, or temporary. That may be because it was the environment you grew up in, or were exposed to for a while. In other words, this is a physiological or bodily response more than it is some conclusion you arrived at through logic. I definitely think consulting a professi…
/r/seduction06/08/25 05:45 AM
2

a good reminder for people with the tism like myself i constantly need to pare my texts down to two sentences with a lot fewer words and tangents
/r/seduction06/08/25 05:28 AM
1

Hate to say it, but you might have to consider a move my friend
/r/seduction06/08/25 03:31 AM
0

Maybe the problem is that your area is seasonal. It's possible those younger women are only coming through on winter break to ski. I'd look for a nearby city with big standing venues, EDM fests, anime cons, or even just large team sports stadiums - not necessarily for the events or venues themselves, but because younger people have a higher probability of living in places that have them.
/r/seduction06/08/25 01:26 AM
0

I go to concerts and to a very specific kind of bar activity that tends to attract younger (though in some places, wider age ranges). I've also started spreading into other kinds of nightlife, even though I'm not typically a club type person. If you're consistently only finding old people where you go, it's probably time to change venues (or neighborhoods, or even cities). I drive out regularly 30+ minutes a few times a week to go to some of these places at night since I WFH, there is no traffic…
/r/seduction06/08/25 01:04 AM
3

Make your own luck and actually talk to the woman. and actually put effort into improving SMV
/r/seduction05/08/25 06:11 PM
1

female hypergamy pyramid ah yes, was this pyramid built by ancient aliens then
/r/seduction05/08/25 03:29 PM
2

How to overcome my anxiety problem. It's possible after being stuck in house for an entire pregnancy that you have a fear of approaching people and that your social skills have atrophied. Treat this like you would any other anxiety. Start with exposures to low risk situations, and slowly make them more risky. Remind yourself that failure is inevitable, will happen frequently, and welcome because it helps you learn. Have people to fall back on and support you when things don't go the way you want…
/r/seduction05/08/25 03:09 PM
0

Go to bars, clubs, or classes after work. If you live in the suburbs, you're gonna have to commute to your nearest city. Try different spots until you find one with your demographic(s) of interest
/r/seduction05/08/25 03:07 PM
1

Ok maybe, but she still picks a specific partner out of the litany of ordinary guys she has access to because she was able to connect with him and put up with his shit, not because he's glamorous
/r/seduction05/08/25 03:02 PM
2

I've never liked the "get on your purpose and chase the hustle" advice because it's unnecessary (lots of ordinary dudes wind up with sexy women) and often sidesteps other reasons for feeling shitty, like underdeveloped social skills and trauma. Like yeah, I absolutely need to self-improve, but the major source of my anxiety was never that - it was a self-reinforcing loop of being weird around people, then developing a fear of being judged and further self-sabotaging because the anxiety made me w…
/r/seduction05/08/25 02:07 PM
5

Developing an amazing talent and lifestyle will do nothing for you if your marketing and social skills suck
/r/seduction05/08/25 01:50 PM
2

They do, but that doesn't mean they'll fuck you for it. That takes something different. What you're doing is complaining that your car can't fly, then saying "so driving has no value"
/r/seduction05/08/25 01:41 PM
2

You probably feel like shit right now. The good news is, you have an insane amount of time available to you. So I'll try to give you some small things you can do every day to start breaking better: Build yourself physically. If you don't have access to a gym or weights, look for body weight fitness routines. Meckanimal comes to mind. There's also a whole subreddit for it. Job interviews are pretty much "can this guy do the job, and will he not cause social friction." Think of specific examples f…
/r/seduction05/08/25 05:38 AM
1

Nah, go anyway even if you're busted up and desperate. You gotta learn to hold your own even when your shit is all fucked up and you're bailing water and patching up the hull. Well okay maybe not that hard but don't wait til everything is perfect until you approach or you will be waiting a very long time
/r/seduction05/08/25 05:01 AM
8

The real seduction was bringing bros to the blackpill
/r/seduction05/08/25 04:49 AM
1

social intelligence Yes... use empathy Yes! and win over her friends and are actually fun to talk to. Fuck.
/r/seduction05/08/25 04:45 AM
1

People sense that fundamental weakness in me where I want something from them that I cannot provide for myself (or rather, don't trust myself to have the ability to eventually find myself in the company of). But it isn't because I lack the desire to do good for others or to genuinely connect, it is because I am down bad and have years of bad reference experiences causing my body to short circuit and distort my self and presentation even to the point of repression or knee-jerk inauthenticity. Som…
/r/seduction05/08/25 04:43 AM
6

I can tell you as a short and ectomorphic person that it is definitely true. You give "this is a child" or "this person is seriously malnourished/unhealthy" vibes
/r/seduction05/08/25 03:44 AM
1

Start approaching multiple people based on behavioral or inquisitive openers you come up with on the spot. Start lower stakes if you have to, family, friends, older, less attractive people, whatever. If you're leading with genuine interest or with a thought that is genuinely fun to you, it will reflect in your behavior and from the right sort of people. But most of all, you'll know right off the bat who probably isn't right for you.
/r/seduction05/08/25 03:21 AM
1

You mention kindness and passiveness, yet you also say that the women with the kind and hardworking men come to resent them and take them for granted. Are not then those kind men being passive? Are not those women then acting out of pocket?
/r/seduction05/08/25 02:38 AM
2

Intercourse fasting
/r/seduction05/08/25 02:28 AM
3

Toastmasters or improv generally is good just to get fluency with giving people shit and coming up with absurdisms. Dance is a plus but not a requirement. Start with small stakes interactions with people to help start to ease your nerves. Learn to be curious about people, asking why questions or making cold reads. Keep ratcheting up your perceived stakes and documenting your progress and blockers, no different than the gym. Watch some Craig Ferguson, I Like You by ThatWasEpic, talk shows, standu…
/r/seduction03/08/25 10:04 PM
1

It'll take practice. I know that's easy to say but harder to do when your anxiety is repressing it. You might need to do exposure therapy or find some other way to ground yourself, get in tune with your lust and desire for affection, and start taking small low risk steps. Do you know what kind of things you could try, or do you want examples? If not in any case I hope things work out for you; I have the problem right now where I'm getting better about taking risks but not really getting dates or…
/r/seduction03/08/25 08:27 PM
1

These women feel safe around you because your attraction isn't overwhelming how you see them or behave around them, not because you don't feel it at all (although this is a big reason they love being around gay men). Repressing this after asking them on dates only ends up being confusing for them. I'd say the problem then isn't sexuality or sexual interest per se, but how you bring it into your interactions without it feeling sudden, overwhelming, or like you'd been hiding it or only interested …
/r/seduction02/08/25 08:01 PM
1

It sounds straightforward but to the other person apparently it’s a cacophony of mixed signals If they are saying so, it's possible you're putting off body language that says you're interested and disinterested by turns (maybe because of your past), and never escalating. There are probably situations where you could flirt or sexualize the interaction. And you are maybe, consciously or not, telling yourself to suppress those, or any bodily reaction to the idea of being intimate with this person. …
/r/seduction01/08/25 09:34 PM
1

I don't understand how guys are so bad with women. There are a million different reasons for this, but a lot of it probably has to do with just not picking up various skills you likely learned without even thinking about it, or picking up traumas that cause them to treat women differently or perceive it as a high stakes situation, or some combination of that. Or learning weird ways of looking at people and interpersonal reactions from Seddit
/r/seduction01/08/25 09:28 PM
2

Consider relocating to an area that has one, even if you don't attend; at minimum this is a great way and time in your life to find like-minded people your age. This is all about making your own luck.
/r/seduction28/07/25 08:46 AM
2

Concerts, music or art festivals (you might find the greatest numbers of your demographic in pop, EDM, or trap shows; whatever's trended on TikTok in the last five years, though I've seen plenty at alternative/emo acts and there are probably just as many metalheads), state fairs, food festivals, climbing gyms, coed sports groups or other clubs, car shows, popular swimming or water sports spots since it's high summer, coffee shops, art galleries... All of these are even better at your age if you …
/r/seduction28/07/25 08:42 AM
3

Yep, that's what I'm saying. The better part of the evaluation we do is subconscious, and though there is a certain logic to it, the "logic" used can be flawed. We're all that way, men and women, because evolution primed us to use those things as proxies. But sometimes the logic is, in fact, correct. As anyone who has gone or is going through their people-pleasing phase quickly learns, people pick up on you needing something from them. You can throw that energy off no matter how "great" you beco…
/r/seduction28/07/25 12:27 AM
3

What kind of stuff do you do for it? CBT, thought replacement, breathing/grounding exercises, and learning to embrace failure have helped me out a lot so far.
/r/seduction27/07/25 08:15 PM
5

Women are not only unresponsive to logic, they take offense to it. No. They are offended by detectible bullshit. You actually say this yourself. The reason guys with insane talent or wicked self improvement and all the other on-paper trappings of a good man fail is that they have some fatal flaw in (any or all of) their emotional resilience, emotional intelligence, or social skills and have not put in the work to address it. That comes out in the wash eventually. Accusing women of being illogica…
/r/seduction27/07/25 07:55 PM
3

Varying degrees of: Physical attractiveness and physicality Early life conditioning and attachment style formation Natural social talent or the lack thereof Social development or the lack thereof Lifestyle; here you'd ideally want the intersection of it being fun and inclusive with high exposure to women Overall resilience; physical, emotional, social, financial
/r/seduction27/07/25 07:22 PM
1

No problem. I'm struggling a lot now myself while actually in the approach, but this reframe helps me not beat myself up after the fact.
/r/seduction26/07/25 10:41 PM
1

The problem for me is that these formative experiences created more negative reinforcing experiences later down the line, which continue to crush my confidence and self-image, even though I understand that I have some good traits and tools in my belt. I don't have consistency, so I'm anxious. But because I'm anxious, I continue to lack consistency. I am aware that I am still quite flawed, to the point that I may not see success again for a good long time. Something has to break the loop here, bu…
/r/seduction26/07/25 09:46 PM
1

Hey, maybe. I'm curious what pool you're drawing from though.
/r/seduction26/07/25 08:23 PM
4

Unsourced claims aside, let me respond with a very simple question. What's the difference between a spike protein produced by your own cells, that comes from an mRNA vax and which is targeted (primarily) to your muscles and liver, and the spike protein from live, wild virus, which is then also produced by your own cells during infection?
/r/seduction26/07/25 08:17 PM
6

covid vaxed as a biology guy, lol, lmao even
/r/seduction26/07/25 07:43 PM
4

I dated a woman who was annoyed that I wanted to pay for anything! There are in fact some ladies who hate the very idea of guys paying for stuff because it can be seen as a covert contract, even if that's not what's intended.
/r/seduction26/07/25 07:42 PM
1

Hey, probably. I had my share of problems that contributed to it not working out. What brought me and this particular woman together were common interests, good chemistry, and mutual effort. I don't make a point of going for women who look like they just graduated college. When I'd met her, I had assumed she was mid-20s. We didn't learn each other's ages until the end of the first just-us date at a bar. Before her, I had dated a 27-year-old who turned out to be less mature, independent, and stab…
/r/seduction26/07/25 05:57 PM
2

Stop the Kpop cringe. It is such a niche. You will never meet a hot baddie who is into that shit. Nah I got with this one black mixed girl (think Betty Davis or Rosalind Cash but prettier and younger) in a small town a decade ago because I looked like some kpop star she was into that I knew nothing about like no the odds aren't good but it does happen
/r/seduction26/07/25 09:33 AM
5

I think the games already exhausting, but it hurts a bit more knowing you are putting the truest form of yourself out there and that it’s still not enough Remember: This is a person you don't know, who is subject to all myriad ever-changing moods and preferences and obligations and situations, seeing a tiny sliver of you and judging the rest of you by what you put out there. This is an inherently chaotic, inconsistent, "unfair" process (that is to say, all of what you bring to the table can't po…
/r/seduction26/07/25 08:15 AM
9

Mid 30s here, I can both confirm and deny what you're saying in terms of success. Many will look at you weird, some very weird, for your interest at your age, totally understandable all the landmines that can come with the gap, cultural differences, difference in life circumstances, and questions of your motivations. Yet some of the best dates I've ever been on were with a 22-year-old woman. It's all about the quality of your connection. At the end of the day we're either consenting adults who c…
/r/seduction25/07/25 03:00 PM
11

release the files
/r/seduction25/07/25 02:38 PM
11

This is bravado, not confidence. This is only reinforced by your bristling at her perceived rejection, which you had no reason to take personally.
/r/seduction25/07/25 08:17 AM
1

I may not be in as drastic a boat, I'd say, but I do understand how it feels to feel unwanted and be rejected time after time, especially if the people you've been interested in were in some way important to you and there felt like there was real investment. I know how it feels to have your brain shut down on you when you go to talk to someone interesting, to feel unworthy to even look in someone's direction, to feel like you're just making everyone uncomfortable. No matter the length of your vi…
/r/seduction25/07/25 07:30 AM
1

I'm going to give you some different feedback. The fact that you have been rejected so many times proves, at the very least, that there is some fight in you. That is worth something. Even showing up somewhere is worth enough to build a foundation with some people. As friends, acquaintances, people who are comfortable with or even happy to see you. It might not be the way you want with who you want specifically, right this minute; all the same, I urge you to see the value in their company, in the…
/r/seduction25/07/25 12:02 AM
2

You're talking about courage, not confidence. Confidence is not needing others' approval (which isn't a choice) plus trusting yourself to be competent (also not a choice).
/r/seduction24/07/25 06:16 PM
2

Thank you for this. I see so much tough love advice here that just straight up glosses over attachment issues and other baggage from early life development.
/r/seduction24/07/25 04:16 PM
1

Don’t ask me how to be confident, it’s not a feeling it’s a choice. I have gotten quality looking women even at my worst. Remember it’s not a feeling it’s a choice. Absolutely not.
/r/seduction24/07/25 07:23 AM
1

I do not wish to do that, even if it costs me a lot.
/r/seduction24/07/25 12:34 AM
1

If someone doesn’t like me, I assume something’s wrong with them, or I spiral, because I secretly tied my worth to their approval. I can't handle rejection, because deep down, I’m not sure who I am without applause. I chase connections or women to validate and prove my worth to others Hey this is me I'm just not deluded enough to think that I'm a more worthwhile human being than the people who don't like me
/r/seduction23/07/25 09:55 PM
1

Just assume that any woman you are talking to DOESN'T like you yet. I've done this. It works great until you notice that she does, in fact, like you and all your anxiety and insecure attachment come flooding in because life is unsatisfying in the absence of mutual desire
/r/seduction23/07/25 09:31 PM
0

I live near a small metro with a huge metro area population (city ~700k, whole metro area 6.5M) and a small city (~85K). The small city is OK if you're constantly trying new stuff, but if you are a regular at some places (guilty as charged) you will likely see a lot of the same faces. If I were choosing my next place in a less-dicey political situation in the US, it'd probably be a ~30 minute walk to some strip of popular bars and in a neighborhood that hosts day events. Go with what you can aff…
/r/seduction23/07/25 04:39 AM
1

Can you be more specific? Where are you getting stuck?
/r/seduction22/07/25 07:17 PM
1

GPT is great for planting a seed when you're out of ideas or critiquing, but it's almost always going to be weirdly tryhard, verbose, overembellished, or dramatic. If you do use it, tone/pare it down and ask yourself how you'd write the concept of what it gives you in your own voice.
/r/seduction22/07/25 07:11 PM
8

I understand this is the age to really chase your dreams and go after your careers and take risks Do both, all-in! I regret having a shit attitude toward my career and toward mortgages when I was younger. Your 30s (at least if you wear sunscreen and take care of your body) hold so much more potential than you might know. Having a great living situation and logistics is such a huge thing that I really dropped the ball on. Get as close as you can to a population center, or at least a place with a …
/r/seduction22/07/25 07:07 PM
1

If I were taking this woman bowling (fuck bowling, but that's not the point), we'd planned the date, and she went silent on me like this, I might ping with "Can't wait to kick your ass/I'm stilll gonna kick your ass at the alley on Friday right". She will fill in the uncertainty without your text coming off as "I'm nervous you'll say you changed your mind."
/r/seduction22/07/25 06:56 PM
1

i always carry the feeling about the girls that they have nothing to offer except sex, they are dumb af, it is hard to hold any logical conversation with them You feel this way because you've not made any serious effort to get to know any of them. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Curiosity and compassion are muscles you have to train, but you won't get there if you're not willing to put the work in.
/r/seduction22/07/25 06:40 PM
22

I'm jealous and impressed. Have an upvote
/r/seduction22/07/25 06:09 PM
2

Goofiness is fine, even welcome in the right amounts. Just make sure to keep it balanced. Too much and it's hard not to come across as approval-seeking or childlike, which kills attraction for obvious reasons. "No spark" almost always means she's bored and not feeling sexual tension. (Sometimes it's just incompatibility, but we'll focus on what you can control, your own behavior.) My experience is pretty limited, but spark is something that you can try to develop without it being the initial foc…
/r/seduction22/07/25 05:35 PM
1

Your problem was your mindset. That is true, though I think it is best when the origins of that mindset are questioned too, and so forth. Often you will find that someone or something else in your past placed those ideas there, and a sound interrogation of what they had to say will set you on an even better path than the one aspect you notice and take care to discard. OTOH, this could also be anxiety formed by bad early experiences. So your mileage may vary :)
/r/seduction22/07/25 08:00 AM
3

Seems like you were playing it safe, even though you noticed her hinting that she'd be down to meet up later. If you liked her (as a person, not just a hot girl on the bus) you could lay out why quickly but specifically and spin that into a future invite. If she was keen, go for the #, if meh, instagram (or I guess whatsapp in the UK).
/r/seduction21/07/25 07:17 PM
-1

man who gives a fuck
/r/seduction21/07/25 05:33 AM
1

all of us do this from time to time, don't overlook how important it is that you've noticed this pattern and know to push back on it
/r/seduction20/07/25 05:59 PM
2

Talking about women a sort of zoological way in a context where we're potentially trying to get something out of them, can easily read as demeaning or dehumanizing, even if that's not your intent. Maybe that sounds crazy or white-knighty, but to me it's not very different than if like the women on FDS called us "males" and described in detail how we could be trained or manipulated like animals or robots for cash or commitment.
/r/seduction20/07/25 08:57 AM
1

when girls wear red blue and green i like to ask which one is blossom, bubbles, or buttercup
/r/seduction20/07/25 06:32 AM
2

You shouldn't deliberately be trying to evoke negative emotions, but your interactions should be a bit varied and have some risks and texture to them. That's vague, so to make sense of this, think of siblings. Even if you don't have them, you can see those with good relationships to one another being a fun pain in the ass. Poking a little fun, making up absurd shit, playing small pranks. It's that kind of thing. But remember that it should all be above board and in good humor; you should be able…
/r/seduction19/07/25 11:49 PM
2

Let me put it this way, I don't think there was any intentional malice on this guy's part. I think he realized the word was cringe to use IRL without really understanding the real reason it was cringe. It's possible he just assumed it sounded nerdy or clinical, and just assumed that since people use it in this space that it's okay to use it in that way. I don't think it's that he secretly understood the whole time that using the word that way is dehumanizing and would just hide it around people …
/r/seduction19/07/25 10:40 PM
2

Your moral objection isn't wrong. I get how this is pretty adjacent to using a slur. I just think you catch more flies with honey, you know? Though I do understand there are and had ought to be limits to that kind of patience. Me personally, I draw that line at supporting things like putting human beings in swamp prisons for being in the wrong place; not saying you do, just as an example. No need to insinuate he's lying.
/r/seduction19/07/25 09:55 PM
1

Ehh, I think it's good to be able to recognize bad missteps and categorize them as bad. The issue for me has been when I let these episodes blow up my mood and dominate my self-image, while not letting the positive aspects of the interaction speak loudly and boost my confidence.
/r/seduction19/07/25 09:26 PM
1

A bit of a tangent and low sample size, but I've found it's good for breaking the just-platonic ice a bit. I was on a couple dates a while back where we'd be at like an antiques shop or an art museum and there'd be something vaguely erotic about the content. I'd draw attention to that without insinuating anything between us. For example we were looking at this vaguely phallic butter churner: "What are these? ...I've spent too much time on the Internet." Looking at a giant painting of a geyser: "…
/r/seduction19/07/25 08:58 PM
3

Out of curiosity, would it be alright if I asked what kind of approaches you had positive experiences with, like conversational style or personality?
/r/seduction19/07/25 05:19 PM
2

I thought a creep is someone they find unattractive/average looking? Nah. I know I've been seen as attractive by some women, but absolutely tank the interaction because I'm afraid to bring sexual energy or do so in a socially unintelligent way. Creepy is some combination of being overwhelming, needy, or feeling like you need to hide your real intentions.
/r/seduction19/07/25 05:12 PM
5

Listen I agree with not talking about people clinically but holy fuck you need to chill
/r/seduction19/07/25 05:09 PM
1

If i force myself to simply have interactions with females over and over again, is this a valid method for decreasing discomfort? I think that depends on if you're improving or not (make sure you're reviewing your interactions). If you're like me and you have situational anxiety that turns into a habit of fight/flight/freeze/fawn that gets reinforced by failure, you might need to consider whatever else might be affecting your mood and thinking in that moment. Could be anything from bad sleep or …
/r/seduction19/07/25 05:08 PM
1

You can have almost everything going for you and still weird people out with your personality or become creepy because of internalized shame/anxiety. Ask me how I know.
/r/seduction19/07/25 04:42 PM
4

not because sex is fun No, it's absolutely this. Women don't joylessly, robotically think HIGH VALUE MALE. MUST ACQUIRE PENIS Some of them will think (or if you're doing it right, they should think) about how much fun and how dirty it'd be to slip out into the night with the fun interesting ballsy stranger for things their friends will give them shit about tomorrow. They're human beings. They're not so different from us. I agree on just don't be an obviously anx'd out overly polite and desexuali…
/r/seduction18/07/25 09:06 PM
2

I started with this mindset ten years ago, and over time realized that this left me without social proof, without experience just viewing and talking to women like normal people. Making a friendly acquaintance is not going to take up a significant amount of your time unless you want it to. Would you tell other guys, "sorry, I don't have any more room on my instagram/contacts page"?
/r/seduction18/07/25 08:58 PM
3

Autismo activated. Disclaimer: I am just some guy who has dealt with high functioning social anxiety for very nearly my whole life, and very likely exists somewhere on the spectrum (my late night writing bursts are likely a product of that, but I digress). Please consult professional psychologists and psychiatrists about these ideas if you're interested in learning more. It's my understanding that mind-body dualism is considered outdated, but it's a useful thing for this discussion. Thoughts bub…
/r/seduction18/07/25 03:20 PM
14

But woth girls i feel ill come off as a creep or im way below their league and all that crap. These beliefs about yourself probably come from how people treated you when you were younger, or from toxic online ideologies. But that doesn't matter as much as how those beliefs have trained you to behave. If you can not talk to women without your brain sending you all kinds of signals that shut down or distort your personality, then it might mean you have to approach women you're not interested in ro…
/r/seduction17/07/25 05:52 PM
3

I haven't done the volume of approaches some of the guys here have done (which some might identify as part of the problem, but it just isn't feasible right now), but I have consistently been going out and learning to talk to people for years, enough that I eventually found mediocre success. But that didn't change my core problem, because my body's reference is that love is conditional and a measure of whether I am doing/living right. To some extent, I still believe that's true, but it's also sel…
/r/seduction17/07/25 03:28 PM
1

That's the thing. I started with that mindset when I thought all I was interested in was sex ("I had enough friends!"), and gradually learned that most people have some interesting quality or things to talk about, particularly if they had to develop some other sides of themselves to deal with how society treats them.
/r/seduction17/07/25 03:20 PM
5

This is 100% what I have. It becomes reflexive and happens as a fear response when I feel like I stand to lose something. I've tried treating it with talk and exposure therapy and a healthier lifestyle, but it didn't really sink in for me until recently that this is very much a trained physiological thing that calming meds could really help.
/r/seduction17/07/25 08:35 AM
2

then being kind to them will make them freak out because it's not their normal. Or mistake kindness for manipulation, because that is what they are used to
/r/seduction17/07/25 07:19 AM
1

I think I've commonly misunderstood self-fulfilled as being "independent, needing no one else, complete and happy just doing what he likes", but I just don't see that for myself, ever. Instead, I really hope "able to survive and personally develop and not feel like shit by oneself", or "trusting that one can make friends or find love eventually" is sufficient. Life just seems a lot more colorful to me when people desire or love you; I would not want to stick around for the long term if that were…
/r/seduction17/07/25 07:15 AM
1

If when talking to women you find yourself with a lot of anxiety or involuntary blanking/blurting/awkwardness you don't usually have around people you feel comfortable around, consider also reading "The Body Keeps the Score."
/r/seduction17/07/25 07:01 AM
1

I think that depends on the woman. Anti-social behavior can be highly unattractive for the same reason you or I might respect ourselves enough to dump or distance ourselves from disrespectful women; it's less the asshole-ness than the confidence projected from the asshole that attracts.
/r/seduction17/07/25 06:56 AM
1

Still, the idea of using girls for the purpose of skill acquisition seems uncomfortably Machiavellian to me. It is, at first. Acting curious becomes being curious; it too is a skill.
/r/seduction17/07/25 06:43 AM
2

I don't know if you can go as far as to say it's PTSD - because nothing traumatic happened to you. I agree if we're going off the strict ICD definition of PTSD, where trauma is experiencing one or more extremely dangerous or violating events. All the same, my own experience and the literature suggest that it doesn't need to rise to this definition for things like inconsistent caregiving, rejection, and/or bullying during childhood and adolescence to cause one to develop some serious baggage, att…
/r/seduction14/07/25 09:51 PM
1

Sorry for the book. I am putting all this out here in case this relates to your own experience, or another reader who comes along whose developmental traumas* may contribute to their outcomes with women. My own experience is that an inconsistently loving, fear-dominated, and possibly neuroatypical childhood and/or adolescence are deeply damaging and influence men like myself and possibly you for decades after the fact. Top that with bullying and lots and lots of early rejection (after some buy-i…
/r/seduction14/07/25 09:30 PM
1

Here is a paradox. If you desire certain results, but not giving a shit means you do not achieve those results, then mustn't you give a shit? For example, I'm fairly sure one of the reasons a fling didn't work out is that my living conditions are deplorable, and I don't really care about that personally, but I also realize that it puts people off. There's a bit of nuance there, yeah?
/r/seduction29/04/24 01:10 AM
1

Thank you for this but I have a gripe with “being yourself” - what does it mean? Being comfortable expressing thoughts, opinions, and taking actions that pop into your head without being preoccupied with what others think about them. There's plenty of nuance and questions one could ask about that concept, but that's what it boils down to.
/r/seduction29/04/24 01:07 AM
2

That really sucks my dude. I can definitely feel your sadness and frustration through this post. I'm sure you will find plenty of people who will be open to you expressing yourself in other ways than using your voice. I don't know the details of your injury, but maybe it doesn't have to be over -- could you try drawing or writing to other people in person, or joining an ASL group?
/r/seduction28/04/24 02:31 PM
1

Books and courses are supplements. You really want to be doing approaches, taking mental notes, and then asking yourself (or others, preferably not the ones you're talking to) what you might do differently based on the responses you get. Above all, active practice is what you need, not opinions you haven't seen play out between actual humans. On that note, watching or listening to unscripted content is a good way to get a sense of how to banter or hold conversations. Edit: A bit confused by how …
/r/seduction25/04/24 07:16 PM
3

How many accounts are you going to make to advertise this book?
/r/seduction05/10/22 08:04 PM
1

Does the way you dress and groom stand out in a good way? Or at least is put together and appropriate for the environments you frequent/peers you have?
/r/seduction26/09/22 04:41 PM
4

Then why are you asking this question?
/r/seduction26/09/22 08:12 AM
7

What if your true dreams are for all intents and purposes impossible to achieve, and any other work you take on feels small, futile, and empty by comparison? Also, many men here never developed social skills and as a result developed anxiety due to trauma from social failure, and no amount of pursuing their purpose will fix that if they don't apply work directly to fixing that problem.
/r/seduction26/09/22 08:08 AM
1

I'm going to go with option A unless you can actually articulate the patterns in your sets and your/their behaviors. So far it's just been "yeah i've done it and it sucked" with absolutely no detail or any thoughts you've substantiated with examples, which leads me to believe you either have a really poor memory or just don't think a whole lot.
/r/seduction25/09/22 11:08 PM
0

I refuse to believe you approached literally thousands of women and every interaction was boring and empty. Either you have the personality of a rock or you're depressed and discouraged and not making an effort to remember any details of any approach.
/r/seduction25/09/22 09:54 PM
2

Well, if you're willing to share more details and maybe get some feedback I'd be happy to listen, otherwise I wish you luck.
/r/seduction25/09/22 08:24 PM
1

I encourage you to more deeply and specifically examine your approaches and your attitude toward them.
/r/seduction25/09/22 07:11 PM
2

I can tell you that from the little approaching I have done that I've learned a lot socially and made many friends and acquaintances. I've had some great moments with people I'm not likely to see again. I wouldn't take any of that back in favor of something else. I have and will continue to get better and I know one day this will bring me great benefits, even if much later in my life than I wanted. Perhaps it is where and who and how you approached, or perhaps how you did or did not reflect on i…
/r/seduction25/09/22 05:36 PM
1

Define a "shit ton." Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands? And what was your experience? Are you really suggesting you got nothing out of it?
/r/seduction25/09/22 05:06 PM
1

How much cold approaching have you actually done?
/r/seduction25/09/22 04:49 PM
11

I think he's right, but I think what he takes away from it is wrong. He's most definitely wrong about cold approach being pointless
/r/seduction24/09/22 08:27 PM
7

The above dialogue would be painful for all involved.
/r/seduction24/09/22 03:22 PM
1

If you think those feelings are themselves a pain in the ass or an inaccurate way of looking at things, it might be good to get checked out for any underlying nutritional/sleep/circadian deficits and then decide if you want to try to medicate them away if improving those doesn't work. It is your brain, but sometimes our brains mislead us
/r/seduction20/09/22 05:31 AM
2

I've seen hot chicks here and there with busted/plain dudes. It can be a chemistry thing more so than a physical attraction thing. Or you get unicorns that literally just don't care about the guy's appearance the same way some guys don't care how their girl looks
/r/seduction20/09/22 01:45 AM
1

That sounds like just straight-up depression. Everything is colorless because your mind physically won't let you see in color. Even if therapy can't help (which it still could, since it's about trying to help you see things differently than you do currently) you it might be worth a talk with a psychiatrist. One thing I'd like to ask you having seen your posts is, what would a worthwhile version of you look like? If you don't like who you are now, then who would you have to become to like yoursel…
/r/seduction20/09/22 01:41 AM
2

You remind me a lot of myself in college; unpracticed, shy, always finding reasons to doubt yourself and for people to not like you - so you just don't approach them. I'm not going to sugar coat it. You have to start out with being awkward and with people potentially not liking you; everyone starts that way, some are just luckier or more talented than others and their success snowballs. Nobody, after all, is born knowing English. The practice is going to suck some of the time, and most of the ti…
/r/seduction29/08/22 07:37 AM
1

they have to put in a stupid amount of effort to be that way It's not that they necessarily have to put in a lot of effort, it's just that either good parenting or a lack of taste for soda or perhaps good gut microbiota or even laziness have afforded them the ability to not gain weight. Only in this country is it considered normal and acceptable (or at least rude to point out) that a person is buying damn near an entire liter of soda plus popcorn to themselves. Advertising and the mere availabil…
/r/seduction28/08/22 04:57 PM
1

You already know more than I do, though if I had to guess older women would just be more picky about the place and an excuse for you both to go there than a horny 20-year-old who has 6 roommates. The most recent one that was into me expressed being conflicted about being separated from her friends even though she seemed really interested.
/r/seduction13/08/22 02:31 AM
2

Open body language: Facing or moving toward you, arms not crossed or otherwise creating a physical barrier between you (same with any other physical barrier). The main thing here is, is she creating more or less distance between you and her? This communicates how safe and perhaps positively/negatively she feels around you, not necessarily whether she is romantically interested in you. Does she maintain eye contact with you (and you should maintain strong eye contact, but not overwhelming)? Do he…
/r/seduction13/08/22 01:36 AM
1

slay queen
/r/seduction25/06/22 09:35 PM
1

Teach me your ways
/r/seduction16/06/22 05:16 PM
1

Sexual partners are easy to find once you get into it. jordan-peele-sweating.gif
/r/seduction16/06/22 05:15 PM
1

Go to those bars and strike up conversations with the bartenders and locals about being new in town and wondering what they like to do/where they like to go/where they plan on going.
/r/seduction16/06/22 05:14 PM
1

Sorry to bother you again, but do you have examples of what these conversations look like? I obviously wouldn't just steal them, I'm trying to get a feel for like, what emotions am I trying to project/evoke when I start out.
/r/seduction15/06/22 03:39 PM
1

slash thread
/r/seduction15/06/22 03:25 PM
1

It is all about looks and money I'm skeptical that you actually meet a lot of women, unless you're talking about the kind that are accustomed to rich people things, or the specific type of women you're dating tend to be attracted to looks/money. Even if this fella were to "work on himself" and "find himself" in his hobbies, if he sucks at actually showing girls a fun time and allowing them to entertain/pursue the idea of sex with him, he will fail far more often than if he did not have these abi…
/r/seduction15/06/22 05:17 AM
1

I would buy you a beer just to read this FR.
/r/seduction14/06/22 06:23 PM
1

Where have you read these lines? I very rarely see this sort of thing offered as advice. Most of the posts lately have been "lifemaxx and just be yourself bro"
/r/seduction14/06/22 06:21 PM
1

You keep approaching you'll look back on this in a week and laugh
/r/seduction14/06/22 08:19 AM
1

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/562/649/6f0.jpg
/r/seduction14/06/22 08:19 AM
0

You have my problem. You are thirsty, yet fearful. Either of these alone are interest killers, but they're particularly nasty in combination. Flirting works best when it is dropped without a care for the outcome, whether that comes from a place of expecting failure or of not requiring success. If you "fail", you just move on as if nothing happened; if her body language is good or neutral, you turn it up bit by bit, if it's avoidant, you find the smoothest way out of the interaction you can. The …
/r/seduction14/06/22 06:33 AM
1

CompetitionFair7686 has some okay examples. Honestly I am not the person to ask about flirting though I have noticed some forms that have success; I find it difficult to know the timing.
/r/seduction14/06/22 05:36 AM
1

As you say, if the message being delivered is distorted, perhaps the response to it is similarly distorted by emotional distress. To me, what matters is the lesson taken upon reflection when this distress is not so present. Is the criticism valid? And if so, can I improve from it? If your criticism is not distorted, then I think its value outweighs potential trauma, provided you think your soon-to-be-ex-partner is capable of handling a blunt truth. If it is a real problem for him now, just wait …
/r/seduction14/06/22 03:38 AM
1

Absolutely. I can't improve without honest criticism.
/r/seduction14/06/22 03:17 AM
2

Approach a million times. Take accurate notes of your behavior. The data will tell the story.
/r/seduction14/06/22 03:16 AM
1

I think he's basing it on the fact that OP hasn't shot yet
/r/seduction14/06/22 03:12 AM
2

Probably because you're looking at this more like an equation and less like a relationship where there has to be some emotional excitement and sexual tension. If you don't put those two things in or put something weird in (as I often do) you will tank even if you've got a lot going for you
/r/seduction13/06/22 10:55 PM
2

I am excited about that initial interest, but I've developed this feel like I have a sort of a reverse-Midas touch where I ruin everything I get involved with. Like you say it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it has also been my experience. Pleasant interaction and interest -> Thirst and fear -> Act weird/blank out/hesitate on opportunities -> Ruin interaction -> Reinforce fear -> Repeat I want so badly to break this cycle because I know I'm capable of bringing great joy and pleasure to others …
/r/seduction13/06/22 10:11 PM
2

if you are her type and she's attracted to you, you literally dont need game just exist. This is simply incorrect. I know this because I hook strongly and eventually repel women with my personality. Sex doesn't "just happen", you actually need to get a lot of things right.
/r/seduction13/06/22 07:22 PM
3

I have been approaching pretty religiously the past few weeks, particularly this weekend - but the trend remains the same - strong initial interest that quickly wanes because my conversation is boring or I get too quiet or thirsty. I want to improve and I have no intention of stopping, but this is super disheartening and breaks me down every time.
/r/seduction13/06/22 07:20 PM
1

Those feelings are not possible for me to experience.
/r/seduction13/06/22 07:46 AM
1

you’re judging us, I know Agree and amplify/Misdirect/Deliberately misunderstand
/r/seduction10/06/22 08:09 AM
2

Like, that connection is usually not something that's easy to develop beforehand. It takes time and experience and sex can have a place in that experience, whereas there are very few women who retain interest where a man does not act on his lust when he has a chance
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:58 AM
1

I'm bi
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:50 AM
1

and then a lot What was your game (heh) changer here? I noticed a big change in my night game where women would freeze me out with body language, but be much more open once I make a bold/entertaining opener.
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:28 AM
8

You say zoinks and I'm okay with that
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:18 AM
1

What do you actually want from him? If he's getting all up in your business and you're not interested you just need to tell him to cut it out.
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:10 AM
1

"No. We're getting our steps in" "Okay. Do you have cash, Venmo, or kisses?" "HEY! I saw him first!" Proceed to flirt with man. Break up with girlfriend, marry man. Ghost. "Yeah like, there's this really cool part in it you missed where it says I can't love this movie" "Why?" Don't react, but ideally not be in a relationship with someone who plays this specific game. I can understand being difficult or complaining at times, but acting like a toddler when I'm trying to seriously level with you is…
/r/seduction10/06/22 07:07 AM
4

It sounds like this guy's goal was to get closer to not caring what other people think, so he succeeded
/r/seduction10/06/22 04:18 AM
1

One for each match adds up
/r/seduction09/06/22 09:28 PM
5

I'm no scientist, so take this with healthy skepticism: Creates a mental gap between the stimulation you're getting on a computer and what you're actually able to bring into your life. This discrepancy between desire and capability encourages depression and self-loathing Trains you to see women as providers of sex first and as human beings second Can cause impotence when you do find the real thing, either because the girls are not as hot or because you are so used to stroking it hard without hav…
/r/seduction09/06/22 08:56 PM
1

What was your upbringing like? Your experiences around girls in middle and high school?
/r/seduction09/06/22 08:51 PM
3

I remember this problem being called "dancing monkey" a few years ago. Basically you come off as only a source of amusement or trying too hard to make others laugh. To avoid this in my experience you start with something boisterous and goofy and gradually take the energy down while still spiking a bit with humor here and there, but not every other sentence - enough to throw them if their eyes start to glaze over or if you feel a bit of "this is too serious/boring/getting weird" tension. If you'r…
/r/seduction09/06/22 08:45 PM
1

What does good texting look like? I can't seem to figure out how to have a good conversation without being verbose, so I've almost entirely relegated it to occasional pings or invites
/r/seduction09/06/22 08:39 PM
1

I get what you're saying though I like "Nonverbal consent fucks" better
/r/seduction09/06/22 08:16 PM
1

Thanks
/r/seduction09/06/22 03:45 AM
1

Yes sir. I should like to learn from you.
/r/seduction09/06/22 12:50 AM
1

Off-topic, but would you mind if I peeped your profile?
/r/seduction09/06/22 12:26 AM
2

make sure they know Isn't that what flirting is?
/r/seduction09/06/22 12:13 AM
65

A friend advised me about this exact situation, saying he told a woman in this mood "That sucks. Want to talk about it?" Probably wouldn't have changed anything, but I can't think of anything better to offer someone like that than a bit of empathy.
/r/seduction08/06/22 09:38 PM
3

It works for awkward uncalibrated people when you don't know the first thing about establishing sexual tension but there is attraction there
/r/seduction08/06/22 09:35 PM
1

I disagree, since neediness tends to be contextual, and the need here is for sex, intimacy, or validation that one is for one reason or another not able to provide themselves. If you personally are able to discard this need as a result of the life you've created for yourself, good for you; the rest of us are not so resilient or fortunate.
/r/seduction08/06/22 06:30 PM
2

Your approach with the assertiveness is good, but your friend is also right. You establish rapport and interest first, then you take initiative and lead her to contact details/instant date/the bedroom.
/r/seduction08/06/22 06:09 PM
3

From my experience it is not really the idea of games, but of learning to express interest and float the idea of intimacy in a bold, non-needy and perhaps tantalizing way - then to act on it decisively and toward a clear end once that mutual interest is found. This obviously isn't going to create attraction where none exists, but that isn't what seddit is for afaik. If this cannot be learned, then I am absolutely fucked, and not in a good way.
/r/seduction08/06/22 05:27 PM
1

1st paragraph For the record, I don't even necessarily agree with him. I'd be open-minded by profession, but I definitely see how a job that involves physicality and authoritative domination would evoke his sentiment. It has nothing to do with money or feeling inferior but rather the dominant nature of the pursuit; I personally, and maybe he, prefer to spend my time with someone who doesn't have a penchant for conflict or for pushing others around. he complained about [dictionary definition of f…
/r/seduction08/06/22 04:43 PM
2

Met a girl sitting alone, we chatted and she told me her friends were outside, she grabbed my hand and I followed her out. My instinct is that she expected you to just keep talking to her and possibly try to escalate with her since you are alone with her and she showed a clear sign of interest.
/r/seduction08/06/22 09:00 AM
2

I've recently been writing a post on this that I've decided not to share until I actually get laid, but I think it boils down to three things: Abundance not of success but of actively pursued and journaled opportunity. This means: Be on the grind as often as you can, write down your encounters, praise yourself for successes, and work on what you think is going wrong. Proper emotional foundation - good social life with genuine friends and companionship. Pay close attention to your health and mood…
/r/seduction08/06/22 08:38 AM
2

Then explain why I still get zero matches despite having gotten pics by a photographer? I want to hear this lol DM me your pics (maybe some you'd consider using based on my link below first) if you want. If you're truly a busted ass guy who has no hope, you at least have my sympathies. What I'm getting at is whether your pictures convey anything about you other than how you look. Does a girl get a sense of your identity or how you spend your time from them? Would she find any of your activities …
/r/seduction08/06/22 08:16 AM
1

May I see some examples? I used to talk a shit ton on AIM back in the day and the early days of texting I felt I could be more verbose, but now I'm afraid to do anything by text and I feel that isn't really me.
/r/seduction08/06/22 05:29 AM
1

How do they cut themselves out of the market? Time and again I will see incels and the like on seddit trying to discourage guys from real world approach because they believe it is just as looks-based and stacked against men as OLD. This simply isn't the case. Good-looking guys routinely dismiss themselves with bad game IRL, while I've seen fat/busted dudes talking to chicks no problem. If I were more cynical, I wouldn't even point this out as a problem and think "more for me." Alas, dating griev…
/r/seduction08/06/22 04:46 AM
3

Of course. Distortions can work both ways. But there's the rub. A lot of guys assume their lack of success in dating generally stems from their lack of physical attractiveness. They use Tinder or other dating apps as the yardstick for this idea. Without further deduction, they go on to cut themselves out of the market. This is logically deficient, as it fails to account for other possible explanations: Your photos are poor presentations of your appearance, boring, or have some other flaw that ei…
/r/seduction08/06/22 03:12 AM
2

The thing is that Tinder and other dating apps are not optimized for overall best success. They are optimized for making money from their users and are therefore deliberately inefficient. It's the difference between a mass manufactured snack food and a home cooked meal. The one can be a fun experience once in a while but it is designed in largest part to hook consumers. The promise of a bespoke experience that takes into your needs and wants in exchange for a certain level of effort is worlds be…
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:46 PM
-1

Touch some grass, my guy. Shallow is a scale, not a binary choice.
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:41 PM
7

Truth and perception can be dangerously difficult to distinguish.
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:38 PM
1

I want to echo that denying yourself a chance to connect with people because their body language is initially closed is a bad idea. A lot of urban Westerners feel awkward around or distrustful of strangers; it just takes some finesse to break those barriers. That being said, don't keep chasing someone who is giving you every signal to fuck off.
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:31 PM
1

You don't need to have any actual success in life to love and respect yourself. How can I love and respect someone who cannot bring into his life that which he wants -- When that person IS ME, and I have to deal with his shit? His inadequacy, his failures. He is by definition a loser. No, I can never accept who I was and who I am. I will improve myself by learning how to use others' "tools". Reinventing the wheel is a fool's errand. I will NEVER forgive myself for being this quiet, creepy, borin…
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:10 PM
1

What are your conversations over text generally about, and how do you start them?
/r/seduction07/06/22 10:54 PM
3

If you don’t have game through text then you don’t have game in person neither. I wouldn't say that's necessarily true. Texting is entirely absent of any body language, tonality, or facial expressions you'd otherwise use to convey or recognize emotion. Emojis can sort of do it but learning how to use them properly and learning how to not come off weird or overtexting is an art entirely of its own, one that I find a lot more difficult than actually talking to women face to face because I get bett…
/r/seduction07/06/22 10:53 PM
1

Almost assuredly. He does this like every day
/r/seduction07/06/22 10:22 PM
1

Yes, their account was made for trolling less than half an hour ago
/r/seduction07/06/22 10:17 PM
1

I lost my virginity by literally timidly voicing the idea that I wanted to kiss her. Everything after that was nonverbal.
/r/seduction07/06/22 06:57 PM
1

He said: Also, guys love feminine women And from this you drew the conclusion that he meant women wanting to not be treated like shit That is an absolutely stunning misreading.
/r/seduction07/06/22 05:22 PM
1

Where did you get this from his comment lmao
/r/seduction07/06/22 04:42 PM
2

Thanks. Seems like you had a grade-A social game tied to your career. Software is the polar opposite lmao
/r/seduction06/06/22 05:41 PM
10

There are times when a girl's friendzoning is actually a defense mechanism meant to talk themselves out of acting on ongoing attraction, but this is much less frequent than otherwise. This is from my own personal experience.
/r/seduction06/06/22 07:05 AM
146

Meet more women. I can't guarantee your feelings will change if she's genuinely a good person, I still have a very favorable opinion of an ex -- but they will certainly be much easier to deal with and your situation much easier to accept.
/r/seduction06/06/22 03:05 AM
11

all dating coaches are like this Nah, he just sounds like a garden variety narcissist. Anyone shaming you for not living up to their arbitrary standards is a piece of shit.
/r/seduction06/06/22 02:42 AM
1

Eye contact makes them uncomfortable? They just ignore things like you putting your arm around them or see it as friendly? They don't want to dance with you? I've met a girl who wasn't at all responsive to flirting, but turned out she was asexual and I just never thought to ask. I don't imagine this applies to all the women you're around though lol
/r/seduction06/06/22 02:12 AM
3

Oh 100% agree, that coach is both a scam artist and a massive tool
/r/seduction06/06/22 02:10 AM
2

That's what i do, I talk to her and try and build a connection What do you like to ask/infer when getting to know women for the first time? Particularly in groups? I find I'm not great at leading interactions because I don't actually know what I want to know that they would also like talking about lol I've heard about HEFE (hobbies entertainment food environment) and that helps a little bit but it'd be interesting to hear your input
/r/seduction06/06/22 02:08 AM
3

you will look absolutely retarded in a suit I hear you but you are 100% allowed to do this in some cities of the world, or at least some parts of them. You'll see dudes in suits on scooters in DC lol
/r/seduction06/06/22 02:01 AM
4

You wear a hoodie instead of a suit? BETA fucking lol. I only own one hoodie but I can tell you shit tons of guys in any non hoity-toity part of town will wear hoodies and I guarantee you many of them are tougher, smarter, and quite possibly better with women than he is You don't have your own business? LOL BETA This guy sounds like an OMEGA chode
/r/seduction06/06/22 01:57 AM
1

I caught wind of some of your other comments and am interested to know what sort of pickup advice you consider to be nonsense. Far as I can tell some of the mindset/tonality advice I see seems to line up with what you're saying (be playful yet challenging). Of course there are many divergent or even opposed schools of thought but I am interested in hearing what you have to say.
/r/seduction06/06/22 01:33 AM
1

Moen, Kohler, Delta, I WANT IT ALL!
/r/seduction06/06/22 12:44 AM
1

Okay. How do women respond when you flirt or try to escalate? Do you think you are doing this well?
/r/seduction05/06/22 11:27 PM
1

This depends entirely on how you approach people. If you're trying hard to just grab chicks from behind and grind, then yes. If you're hanging out all thirsty-like with a/group of women who aren't all that into you, then yes. If you're doing your best to have fun with randos guy or girl and floating around without need for their attention, then no!
/r/seduction05/06/22 10:38 PM
1

Could you expand on "seemed to just find me"?
/r/seduction05/06/22 10:36 PM
1

Do hobbies that you enjoy. Avoid activities that you genuinely have no interest it (obvious but why volunteer if you have no interest?) I actually recommend doing stuff you have no interest in initially, just to broaden your horizons. You might find that you have more interest in it than you initially thought, or become quite good at it. The environment I am currently best in is one that I could never have seen myself going to when I first started a decade ago.
/r/seduction05/06/22 10:35 PM
1

Coed sports Rock climbing Hiking groups Art/Music/Dance/Cooking classes Live music venues/concerts/under 21 clubs It's definitely harder when you're under 21 but there are still lots of possibilities
/r/seduction05/06/22 10:33 PM
1

Have you done truerateme? What kind of vibe would you say you have around women? For example currently I tend thirsty/awkward/skittish though I realize I'm at my best when I'm low key and give off a relaxed and assured vibe.
/r/seduction05/06/22 10:30 PM
4

maybe we can figure it out over drinks
/r/seduction05/06/22 07:57 PM
1

Did someone experience these kind of destructive thoughts? I do, all the time. You just have to ignore them and keep soldiering on while taking impartial notes on what isn't working and praising yourself for what does. You have to learn, most of all, to be okay with very slow progress. This is a marathon, not a race. Do I just approach without signals? Absolutely yes. A few weeks ago I wouldn't attempt to try to talk to groups of women at bars who freeze me out with body language, but my last tw…
/r/seduction05/06/22 07:43 PM
1

Framing her as the pursuer has had positive reactions for me before. I didn't use these exact lines but I think there's nothing really weird about it
/r/seduction05/06/22 07:34 PM
8

How good would you say your social skills are outside of the club? Are people having fun when they're around you; do they invite you to things or gladly sit with you? You were by yourself and obviously not able to have fun just shooting the shit with people on your lonesome regardless of whether they're interested in you sexually/vice-versa. The first is an easy fix if you have outgoing guy friends who you can vibe with by just bantering, the second is something you'll only learn with lots and l…
/r/seduction05/06/22 07:29 PM
1

I can tell you unequivocally as someone with a history of depression, trauma, lack of socialization, long droughts with women, and mild autism that this is not a choice. If you do not value yourself as a result of a lack of success, you will internalize that something is wrong with you (and quite likely be correct) until either you succeed (unlikely with such a mindset) or you set yourself on a trajectory that eventually frees you of caring with the trust that the path will bring you the success…
/r/seduction05/06/22 07:16 PM
1

But the hot ones totally avoid me. As in, they avoid your initial approach, or once you approach they show disinterest or hostility?
/r/seduction05/06/22 07:12 PM
1

Why shave? I can understand keeping facial hair short or tidy, but I think I'm more attractive with a bit of stubble.
/r/seduction04/06/22 10:18 PM
3

I agree with the advice to literally just put one foot in front of the other when you see a pretty woman. You're probably going to say some dumb or corny shit the first few times, but you just need to do it to start to crack at your anxiety. Remember that this is a sales job, not a full audit of your entire personhood. You're not going to close every deal and you shouldn't expect to.
/r/seduction04/06/22 08:57 AM
1

What exactly is illusory?
/r/seduction03/06/22 10:17 PM
6

Arnold Schwarzenegger was most likely a lady killer back in the day. I'm not saying you have to be Mr. Olympia himself but it's proof of concept that your accent is not a barrier to your success.
/r/seduction03/06/22 10:08 PM
18

Think of it this way. If you're hitting the streets or the bars every night, you probably meet dozens of people a week. Do you want to really get to know all of those people and see them all the time? Of course not. For starters that's physically impossible. Does that mean something is wrong with them? Also, of course not. If you want to see some people more often than whenever you happen to run into one another again, you want them to be a good match for you, yeah? And suddenly it becomes clear…
/r/seduction03/06/22 09:52 PM
1

I mean, this still really underscores how horribly written the phrase "Just Be Yourself" is, doesn't it? "Just." As though the act of shedding years of trauma and mental blocks, developing every aspect of your life and personality were a simple thing! "Be Yourself." "Myself" lacked boldness. He was quiet. He lacked the thoughts necessary to spike emotions, to convey attraction, to act when it mattered. He lacked the calibration of understanding when and how behaving in a certain way tends toward…
/r/seduction03/06/22 09:20 PM
1

Make learning how to socialize your #1 goal. Think of all interactions and failures as like bouldering in a rock gym; a fun learning process even though you will eat shit most times at first.
/r/seduction03/06/22 08:26 PM
1

I once hit up a girl by just talking about her skateboarding up to watch a sunset, then asked if she knew any fun places around the town I was visiting. Judging from her body language it went pretty well for the time we had before I hopped my uber, though I can't tell you how much of that was my opener/listening skills and how much was just her liking my face.
/r/seduction03/06/22 08:24 PM
0

Game is just the art of selling yourself with an illusionary portrayal of yourself while the reality is a bit different. Why does it have to be illusory? Plenty of guys are very simple and not terribly accomplished as most people understand it, but the truth is those things don't matter at all if they're bringing positivity into her life.
/r/seduction03/06/22 08:18 PM
1

It's a psychological thing bro. People want to be desired by the desirable for their personality or accomplishments, not transactionally and interchangeably released for a day's wages. They want to feel important in a specific way. It's the same reason incels won't be cured by providing them with prostitutes.
/r/seduction03/06/22 08:04 PM
3

Strike up conversations with as many people as you can, fully accepting from the outset that your interaction will probably not turn into anything more than a short chat or awkward exchange. As you improve, you must still must accept that your relationship to most others you meet will be ephemeral, not lasting, even if the interaction is on the balance "good." Understand that many people - and one day you, too, will only accept long-term into their lives those who are well matched or who truly g…
/r/seduction03/06/22 07:45 PM
2

Read this.
/r/seduction03/06/22 07:38 PM
7

There exists widely a perception that women very into social media are 1) vacuously obsessed with online attention and 2) have ready access to other guys. Possibilities, but not certainties: As you said, perhaps he believes you don't sleep around, don't talk to several guys at once, or don't lead guys on while pursuing who you want. He might judge you by body count, but whether he does or to what extent is completely uncertain. If you're curious you can always ask his opinion on these topics; if…
/r/seduction03/06/22 07:35 PM
1

twiddling their thumbs at bars Do you mean not approaching at all, or approaching inefficiently because they don't have the correct mindset/social techniques?
/r/seduction03/06/22 07:23 PM
2

perhaps you don't believe that a girl can be with you for who you are and that you don't deserve this. Because this is 100% correct about "myself". I have to fundamentally change into a different person because who I was and who I am do not receive the reaction I want. You say that we will realize based on successes that we are "attractive men", but in truth it is the nature of my failures that have driven home that I cannot just be myself as I am. Yes, I realize you're referring to my "self" wi…
/r/seduction03/06/22 05:43 PM
1

That's pretty bad imo, it's one thing to tease and another to call someone a prostitute. It's polarizing. If he has good enough rapport with her that she's sucking his dick this could either be the kind of fun other guys won't give her or it'll be something that just pisses her off. Depends on the person and their chemistry
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:32 AM
1

Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do it some more. Take notes. Have people dissect those notes. Have them, and yourself, be brutally honest about what you observe.
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:25 AM
1

Everyone says everyone fails and takes Ls but I’ve taken way too many Ls compared to wins and it just seems like I’m a failure in general Realistically dude compared to how down bad a lot of dudes are here you're doing just fine. The fact is that if you could do more at this moment, you would, but you're not. If you're not okay with that then figure out what you need to change and stomp the gas hard on fixing it. You can't change the past, nobody else cares about whether the girls you "should" b…
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:21 AM
2

These are the things they like I want to add that my experience is that the compliments a woman - humans, actually - like the best convey real understanding and appreciation for some aspect of their personality or decisions they've made that they find important. This even extends to small things like their mannerisms or idiosyncrasies.
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:19 AM
1

I'm going all in on this because failure is not an option for me
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:15 AM
1

"Beauty is common." I forget who said it, but it becomes really true the more you go out. It's not yours yet, but that doesn't matter. Infinite opportunities, so why get nervous over one? But I get it, we have to retrain ourselves from the high school, savannah mindset where we start in small groups we will see again and fear repeated embarrassment.
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:14 AM
1

I did this a couple nights ago and this is correct, although you will definitely start off saying dumb shit
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:11 AM
1

put yourself at the top I am objectively less socially competent than the other guys she's talking to I am not a prize nor is she, we are just human beings that might vibe
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:10 AM
1

maybe buy her a drink do not do this unless you're all doing shots or she agrees to buy you one back if she asked for it in the first place
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:08 AM
1

Start your night with people who get you in a social mood. Reframe your approach as roping women in to your fun the best way you know how. If you fuck up, that's fine, you learned something.
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:08 AM
1

Nah bro trust, I've seen way too many girls interested in me early just drop off the face of the planet because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing
/r/seduction03/06/22 06:02 AM
1

They somehow seem too entitled. This is interesting, could you elaborate on your experience?
/r/seduction03/06/22 05:56 AM
1

I feel like they have a lot less work, or perhaps their preferential treatment early on helps them build the necessary social skills. Either way I notice that the most physically attractive guys tend to be with the most attractive women. Not always, but most of the time. This isn't an incel rant about the futility of it all, just my perception of things based on my experience.
/r/seduction02/06/22 09:58 PM
4

or dogs or weed
/r/seduction02/06/22 06:26 PM
4

Dick should never be a surprise
/r/seduction02/06/22 06:26 PM
1

I have found that for me, many women will be avoidant or even cold with their body language but actually become very receptive and friendly based entirely on how I open and introduce myself. In other words, for guys who aren't 8s-10s we attract women based on our competence and social/flirting skills. If those skills suck right now, that's totally okay! I'll get to that, but for now: Part of the reason you might be afraid of approach is the primal fear of being outcast from a tribe; of embarrass…
/r/seduction02/06/22 05:40 PM
1

Hey, maybe things have changed since gram and tinder, but I remember doing one of my best and few street approaches of my life in college standing 5'6". Granted I happen to really like my face, but I think the soul of cold approach is in the content of your conversation/connection/balls to approach not strictly in whether she gets all tingly looking at you.
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:40 AM
1

What do you suggest, that he gives up because he's under 5'10? top kek
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:33 AM
2

Literally look at how she acts, talks, dresses, smells, literally anything. Then make an assumption in a friendly and playful way. This is a lot more fun in conversation as this intrigues her. It fills her heads with a bunch of questions. I actually do this quite a lot with my openers, the problem is that I typically run dry quite quick. Like: I approach the one girl in an establishment wearing cowboy boots. I remark on how besides she's dressed like a concert pianist and ask if she's going to p…
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:31 AM
1

Are the women you're approaching actually having fun when you approach them? When you talk to them? Are you having fun?
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:26 AM
2

dead wrong
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:26 AM
1

I'm still bad, but I used to be much, much worse. One of the things that really helped me become better at banter and conversation was having women co-workers in my office I would talk to regularly. I'm going to echo others' opinions here and say that it's a lack of practice that fucks you up, not the job (though a lot of people do carry that stereotype and so I tend to avoid talking about mine).
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:15 AM
1

Like, I used to watch videos of one of the oldheads doing it and I figure it becomes a lot like anything else, you just get used to it and don't question it. It's a silly means to a very reasonable end. (Granted, he did make a point of going after tourists or women who were moving languidly/not moving.) What makes a direct balls-out approach low value and needy? In my mind not so much the method as any hesitancy or hope over the outcome, or stopping to legitimately worry about how others might p…
/r/seduction02/06/22 08:12 AM
2

Have you ever successfully been panhandled? Swept into a spontaneous fun conversation or event by a stranger? Seen someone so interesting, unique, or amazing that you wanted to say something? We have been made to perceive that for some reason it is not okay to want to talk to a stranger because we find them attractive. That perception is just that, a perception: irrelevant, poorly-considered, and spread by people who don't have your interests at heart.
/r/seduction02/06/22 07:50 AM
1

Various kinds of obscure and live music, traveling (though I haven't done much of it yet), cooking, to a lesser extent a few branches of science and social issues. I want to do more conventions and festivals and stuff but struggle to find and plan for them. I tend to stall if the other person doesn't know what I'm talking about or vice-versa.
/r/seduction31/05/22 07:50 PM
63

The flip side of this is to never hang on to a girl as though she is some sort of future opportunity. Reach out once in a while, but have no expectations or emotional investment.
/r/seduction31/05/22 07:48 PM
1

Make yourself truly knowledgable on most topics. In other words, gain some competency. That is quite broad. What topics do you suggest? Most people out I notice will talk about TV, movies, or sports, but I have no interest in these.
/r/seduction31/05/22 05:50 PM
5

I think the issue people like me and this guy have is that we don't know where to bring these interactions even so that we ourselves enjoy them (and not to get a certain outcome), because the concept of socializing constantly for its own sake beyond a couple of minutes is still quite foreign relative to how we spent the vast majority of our lives. Indeed, this remains pretty difficult if the way you do/think about things is relatively uncommon and makes it difficult to relate to others (don't wa…
/r/seduction31/05/22 05:48 PM
1

Correct, but generally this doesn't mean actually spend it on them but look like you are successful and high value
/r/seduction30/05/22 05:10 PM
4

What’s all this about purposely being an asshole? What you're seeing is an overcorrection from men who have spent their entire lives being simple, nice, and straightforward, pumping their stats and looking good on paper, and wondering how it is that nobody they want to fuck wants to fuck them.
/r/seduction30/05/22 05:03 PM
1

If a Maybe Girl is stressing you out you aren't approaching enough
/r/seduction30/05/22 03:31 AM
1

20 minute nap at 6 pm. No longer than that
/r/seduction30/05/22 03:30 AM
12

This seems like such bad advice. There could be an infinite number of reasons a girl doesn't want to immediately project that she wants your dick, and if you only go for women that do you might be waiting a long time or have to lower your standards quite a bit.
/r/seduction30/05/22 03:04 AM
3

Bro I'm reading this and I'm incredulous. The only basement is the depression and sense of futility that incels and your trauma have left imprinted on your mind. You are somehow able to acknowledge how far you've come and yet still look at yourself negatively? You don't have to be a superhuman always doing new stuff all the time; it is totally okay to just veg out and just temper your expectations to what that means. And if you don't like where those habits land you now, or feel that you do them…
/r/seduction28/05/22 09:17 PM
3

That was NOT an insane asylum. That was a powder keg. The mentally ill are not explosives, mind you. They're human beings that need treatment. But they're going to get the opposite bouncing their misogynistic, self-hating opinions off of one another.
/r/seduction27/05/22 05:35 AM
1

Okay, since I clearly have to spell it out for you people, I am fully capable of self-improvement and engage in it often. What I am NOT capable of nor interested in attempting is deceiving myself into believing that I am a high value male, nor do I need this for the purpose of self-improvement or approach.
/r/seduction25/05/22 08:25 PM
1

I hope you find the help you need.
/r/seduction25/05/22 08:14 PM
0

Your reading comprehension sucks.
/r/seduction25/05/22 08:10 PM
1

You don't know anything about me.
/r/seduction25/05/22 07:57 PM
0

No, I am not. It is a fact that many men around me are taller, broader, more masculine, more disciplined, more accomplished, more social, more rounded, more resilient, more interesting. Rather than deceive myself into thinking I am one of these men, I have to simply not care that they have these things and continue to try to build myself, do the best with what I have. The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
/r/seduction25/05/22 07:50 PM
-1

It works FOR YOU. I am not capable of deceiving myself in this way.
/r/seduction25/05/22 06:11 PM
3

She said when I took my invisalign out at the table she was a little grossed out. Probably this, just go to the bathroom, wash it out and wrap it in paper towels. You have my sympathies if they're shitty low flow faucets, but still. If you weren't making her laugh on the date, if you weren't spiking her emotions in a positive way, nor creating sexual tension, she's likely going to next you in search of someone who does. It might not be an entirely rational decision on her part if you can make he…
/r/seduction25/05/22 06:10 PM
2

You're overthinking this. Girl wants to spend time with you and you alone. The only thing you need to do is the most natural thing in the world, which is express your attraction with a bit of finesse. She can take it or leave it.
/r/seduction25/05/22 08:57 AM
2

Good luck ;)
/r/seduction25/05/22 04:27 AM
0

I don't think time matters too much as long as you're getting enough starting from a consistent time. Do also be careful of when you eat what, as too close to bedtime can greatly impact sleep quality (not just caffeine, but also spicy and fatty foods and alcohol). This video is also great if you're having problems with your 7-9 hours. Finally, there may be a possibility of having apnea if you consistently get less than that but are doing everything "right". And if you don't need any of this advi…
/r/seduction25/05/22 04:25 AM
4

first time I hung out with her she told me I could sleep in her room so I did. Pro tip, this is often, though of course not always, code for "I want to fuck." Women need to be careful around men and subtle in how they express interest, which means that them choosing to be alone with you is a big deal. Obviously calibrate this with how she responds to physical distance and touch, but it's usually a good sign. Didn’t try anything out of respect for a first time hanging out. If this girl wanted to …
/r/seduction25/05/22 04:16 AM
8

If you want to find validation, you need to accomplish things -- lots of things Accomplishments as most people view them do not bring me joy or fulfillment. This is a one-lie-fits-all we are sold to consume and to labor more.
/r/seduction25/05/22 04:05 AM
2

How are your sleep (consistent? long enough?), exercise, and alcohol intake? Have you done blood work to look for any deficiencies? Regardless, I believe some people will just need meds and that is fine.
/r/seduction25/05/22 03:33 AM
1

Do you have any savings or is that wiped? I was able to go from menial jobs with a non-lucrative degree to a five-figure job within a year thanks to tech bootcamps. This isn't for everyone but it was a path that sort-of worked for me
/r/seduction25/05/22 03:30 AM
1

Actually, let me clarify - What I mean by "housing" is less so roommates, which are hardly 100% a cockblock, and more so location - You want to be in a place that lets you feel like you have almost infinite opportunities. An urban place near a social center.
/r/seduction24/05/22 11:49 PM
3

Then you will need to find a way to pivot to one that does.
/r/seduction24/05/22 11:43 PM
3

It is difficult to know where to start without knowing some more details. The first thing is survival -- getting your job and housing nailed down, then finding areas/occupations that allow you to enjoy more free time in social environments. Once you start getting disposable income, you'll want to budget time and money for better-fitting clothes, for fitness, and for going to big events and hobbies where you can meet people with common interests. You can still try to socialize and learn approach …
/r/seduction24/05/22 11:38 PM
2

grab her hand To op, I'm aware that some guys have no instinct for this sort of thing, so please make sure you don't limp-wrist nor Terminator this shit. Brush your fingers over her wrist gently but firmly to give her time to react before you try to take her by the hand. Like she was your girlfriend, not like a snake trying to snap a mouse into its jaws.
/r/seduction24/05/22 10:34 PM
7

Throwing good chances like this away is the worst feeling! There are so many great encounters I've missed out on just because I wouldn't pull the trigger. Us guys really can be clueless.
/r/seduction24/05/22 10:10 PM
9

Meet new women outside of work
/r/seduction24/05/22 10:06 PM
1

Look at the dude with 20 partners a year. He is not a handsome motherfucker, but he put the work in with the grind and developed a dope ass life and body and he's not even old enough to drink. Focus that shit up first and accept that your approaches might suck for weeks to years. Acceptance of where you are and knowledge that you're following a path that will most likely help to improve your situation are the real roots of confidence.
/r/seduction24/05/22 12:49 PM
1

When I was in high school I had a very poor understanding of boundaries and would constantly and awkwardly try to chat up a girl who (prior to my developing a down bad crush on her) actually treated me with respect and kindness. Before this happened, she always had a smile. One day she had a grimace and I realized I had fucked up massively. Being in a small community with virtually no social life and thus no possibility of an abundance mindset, this also had the side effect of fucking me up for …
/r/seduction24/05/22 12:42 PM
1

Hey, maybe. My face is grade B at least but my real problem is lack of height and muscle mass. I know my luck will turn eventually with consistent effort so that people stop thinking I'm a twink lmao
/r/seduction24/05/22 12:34 PM
1

Perhaps the issue is the environment you're in. These are women who are conditioned both to be critical of their own bodies yet also to be highly competitive with one another to the point that they will create disadvantages for their peers to stay ahead.
/r/seduction24/05/22 07:03 AM
2

What do you do differently when you don't "strategize" that you think causes things to derail?
/r/seduction24/05/22 06:58 AM
1

Turbo cringe
/r/seduction24/05/22 06:56 AM
7

Day game is quite easy, women have lower bitch shields during the day time I actually find the opposite is true. Many women actively avoid my gaze and act weird. The same holds true for some women in night game, but many are far warmer and much more receptive at night.
/r/seduction24/05/22 01:33 AM
14

An experience I've had is that if the talking establishes a strong positive emotional response or relation of some kind, then it definitely will. Granted, the sample size isn't large ;)
/r/seduction24/05/22 01:28 AM
2

The "threshold" is probably quite a bit lower than you think. It's not so much "is she yes" as "is she not no". I see you spreading this idea a lot and I'm wondering how much you approach during the week.
/r/seduction24/05/22 01:26 AM
2

troll account that spams pastas to multiple subs report and move on
/r/seduction24/05/22 01:20 AM
12

I'm a big fan of context: I see women or mixed groups dancing. I don't get up and try to grind on them like a dog humping random legs, I go up to them and bust a move just to have fun. If they actively exclude me I move onto another group, but might pivot back later and try again when they realize I'm not just creeping. Do this once, don't rinse repeat- be able to take hints to leave to or to stay. I see a bunch of girls taller than me. This doesn't bother me at all and I physically exaggerate t…
/r/seduction24/05/22 01:18 AM
2

never went any further but she was kind of weird. That kind of weird easily translates into a felony where I come from. That's straight up molestation, and I could see women being forward as perhaps reminding you of that experience. If that is so I might consider discussing it with a psychologist. how men are able to find sexual and romantic partners. You are still very young. There are tons of places you have yet to discover that are great, even perfect and tailored to your particular skills an…
/r/seduction23/05/22 06:56 PM
1

Maybe try with easier environments first? Bars that you regular, activities that you go to during the day?
/r/seduction23/05/22 05:00 PM
1

I find it extraordinarily difficult mostly because I like my openers to be personalized and organic, and I tend to struggle once the "arc" of the opener is finished and we get into a subject I don't have much familiarity with. Not saying your openers are not personalized and organic! But I am interested in hearing how you do your approaches, this is certainly something I want to get good at.
/r/seduction23/05/22 08:27 AM
39

"be yourself" comes from i think two things: Suppress anxiety so you are behaving at your best and most relaxed, as you would around a friend Don't try to be someone you're not, not only because this typically comes off as fake but also because when the fake is found out she will scoot. If this were properly communicated by those two words, I don't think there would be a problem. Alas, too many people saying these words don't seem to understand that many guys asking for this sort of advice have …
/r/seduction23/05/22 08:16 AM
2

Like, you might be right that they're a minority irl, though I imagine that the Twitterverse and a good deal of Reddit are aware of things like PUA cringe and associate us with that or see it as part of a general trend of not respecting women's boundaries, even though this association is unfair.
/r/seduction23/05/22 07:56 AM
1

Copypastaing myself: Always playfully, and with awareness of body language: Frame her as a pursuer/perv Innuendos, double entendres Find reasons to touch, bump, hug, dance, etc. Deep but not unrelenting eye contact that nonetheless you would feel gay if you had with a bro friend Increasing proximity as the night goes on Finding excuses to be alone with her If you want examples of these I've actually used feel free to reply, but I'm no Casanova. I know the theory but not am not great at putting i…
/r/seduction23/05/22 06:48 AM
7

Spitballing, but warm approach, social circle, night game with activities designed to increase socialization and connection. During the day women are often busy, suspicious of approaching men, and for women lacking distinct styles, I have found it difficult to formulate engaging openers without some incredible context behind it.
/r/seduction23/05/22 05:40 AM
1

How are you asking her out? If you're explicitly making relationship talk before you've even had sex that might seem "way too fast" to some women, as opposed to just asking them to go with you to a specific thing at a specific time and then maybe flirting with her a little.
/r/seduction23/05/22 05:33 AM
1

Another guy here, I forget who, said that clubs are like big playgrounds for adults. Kids don't care if they "do things right", they just cut loose and do whatever comes to mind. Just forget how you look to other people and feel the beat and lose yourself in absolute inanity. Also take some basic ballroom classes for if she takes your hand or you take hers. Feel totally okay with taking her by the hand if she's liked your conversation or goofiness, but also be 100% ready to drop it and back off …
/r/seduction23/05/22 05:14 AM
2

Women are no different than you and I. They get horny. The difference is that there is a not-insignificant portion of society - their family, friends, co-workers, etc. - who will shame them for showing or indulging in it, whether out of jealousy, religion, or overprotectiveness. So many women will avoid it until a guy who turns them on enough in one way or another to ignore that shows up and they can keep it DL or have an excuse, for others, it means nothing sexual until they're in a relationshi…
/r/seduction23/05/22 04:47 AM
2

Try one more time and gauge her body language. If your body language has been overeager (in response to her initial acknowledgment) or hesitant (in response to a perceived rejection) up to this point, you might be sunk. I'm not good with women, but I have fucked up enough to know what behaviors tend to get a bad response.
/r/seduction23/05/22 04:27 AM
7

Make sure to say this in your best Randy Savage voice.
/r/seduction23/05/22 04:08 AM
2

i wanted a giant toad, why is there a pimp standing in front of me
/r/seduction23/05/22 02:23 AM
3

this comment made me do neck exercises and i never do neck exercises
/r/seduction23/05/22 01:37 AM
2

/u/CompetitionFair7686
/r/seduction23/05/22 01:24 AM
4

shut up
/r/seduction23/05/22 01:22 AM
5

I found it easier to approach girls who are just sitting or standing there. I think this is good advice particularly if they're mask off earbuds out. Same if they're walking slowly and are moving at a slow tourist speed rather than in an urgent businesslike way. It makes it easier to mirror that low relaxed energy too
/r/seduction23/05/22 12:48 AM
13

Your post history is filled with defeatist incel nonsense
/r/seduction23/05/22 12:43 AM
3

Bait.
/r/seduction22/05/22 10:31 PM
1

They never accept that their time is passed Kinda, but I had my eyes opened seeing a lady in her 40s working bar at what I didn't know was a strip club last night. It's amazing what a difference it makes when a woman puts genuine consistent effort into her body. Like, yeah, any younger girl can do that too but many don't.
/r/seduction22/05/22 10:18 PM
3

If the universe is not rewarding your behavior in the way that you desire, it is time to change the behavior.
/r/seduction22/05/22 10:16 PM
5

If she finds you attractive what you say isn't important I wouldn't say that's true at all. A lot of women will seem to enjoy my company until I say something weird (which I have a special talent for) or put off any kind of discomfort or uncertainty
/r/seduction22/05/22 09:54 PM
1

I'm a guy, but I was like this as a teen. I had assumed if a friend I was talking to wanted me to know something, they would tell me. It's just a bad habit that needs a bit of attention to correct imo
/r/seduction22/05/22 09:39 PM
2

Like a defense mechanism Exactly this. I'm low self esteem as fuck and I find myself saying similar shit almost involuntarily, like, it's my instinct to get attention off me before I embarrass myself further
/r/seduction22/05/22 08:03 PM
4

How did you do this?
/r/seduction22/05/22 06:16 PM
2

What is the best way to treat these insecurities, if they are instilled by a history of failure and trauma? Is it necessary for such people to temporarily medicate or self-medicate with small amounts of alcohol?
/r/seduction22/05/22 06:14 PM
3

The more you do it however the more your gonna develop confidence(or simply lose your fear of being rejected)or have more of an idea of what to say. The point is that the more you do it the more confident and educated you’re gonna be and women will be able to feel that confidence. I fuck this up a lot in high-energy, loud environments, and I feel that I don't know how to practice or learn intelligently fast enough on my own. Is there anything you'd recommend for developing these social skills?
/r/seduction22/05/22 08:12 AM
2

It's not the one approach, it's never the one approach - Instead for us it's more the "failure" contextualized amongst a long history of failure, and predicting that there will be more failure and just as much pain and frustration. That's self-defeating, counterproductive, and for many guys very obviously just straight up incorrect. But when you've been down bad or performing way under where you feel you "should" it wears you down to a nub. I know this woman who used to get rejected for years fr…
/r/seduction22/05/22 08:03 AM
1

telling her that she looks fine, that she looking like a snack, that you find her cute Usually I like your advice but this stuff gets me nexted in a hurry
/r/seduction21/05/22 07:24 PM
164

Older women give fewer fucks and have lower standards. Younger women tend to be more anxious and selective. The younger women could find you attractive, but they're not going to come out and tell you that unless you're fresh from a GQ photoshoot. The main way you find out where you stand is by talking to them and watching how they behave in response.
/r/seduction21/05/22 05:43 PM
3

I do not want what is available to me easily today. I want what I could taste but not have because I wasn't enough! I would rake my body across burning coals for it! I would rather die than accept any less! Okay, but being dramatic aside I don't like where just being me socially has landed me. I want more, I want better, I want to be someone else. If I let that go I just stay right where I am. I can't accept that.
/r/seduction21/05/22 05:38 PM
1

Women (especially younger women, the ones we are trying to get) are, in general, extremely insecure and passive. I agree with this in one sense, hard disagree in another. I'll go to the office and women will actively avoid eye contact and respond coldly to friendliness even though they have literally never seen me before in their lives. On the other hand, girls who are very social can be supremely confident, especially when they've been drinking.
/r/seduction21/05/22 05:27 PM
2

The thing is that contextual trauma and/or lack of knowledge can render a person unsure of their actual worth. In this sense, others can be a litmus of your ability to connect with strangers and to emotionally engage those who have their choice in who they deem fit to be in their lives. Repeated failure leads to a sense of learned helplessness and avoidance/anxiety. If such a man becomes relaxed around company to which he is accustomed, he might be a completely different person; the problem is g…
/r/seduction21/05/22 05:24 PM
1

A lot of people pick up on my uncertainty and hesitancy and start to mirror it even if the initial interaction was good- Does that happen to you, and did explaining it actually change anything?
/r/seduction21/05/22 05:19 PM
3

Oh believe me, you're not the only guilty one. I think the biggest thing we can both do is get off of Seddit and touch grass. Talk to people out of fun and curiosity, not simply to get approaches up or practice this or that concept or technique.
/r/seduction19/05/22 06:01 AM
23

You're thinking of human relationships in terms of balance sheets and equations. Stop that. You don't even know the quarterly earnings for Chrissake, you just assume that you do.
/r/seduction18/05/22 09:00 PM
1

The "self" that a person sees are those characteristics, whether those characteristics are induced by trauma or some other flaw that led to conditions that caused them. You cannot "just be that self." You have to change. You say so yourself when you say they must be fixed.
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:51 PM
2

Play it cool. You guys liked each other enough to have sex, so you can ping her during the week without making any big discussions or plans. Make it something short and simple that reminds you of her that might be funny but that doesn't necessarily warrant a response. It's a "I'm thinking of you" without being weird about it kind of thing. This makes it easier to make plans without her feeling like you've frozen her out or that you're avoiding texting her for one reason or another.
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:36 PM
5

I ask because I think knowing if this is a problem that could be fixed through modifications (short of surgery, to start with - unless it really is that serious) might be a good start. Having a direction other than down would be nice, don't you think? After all, "eww" isn't constructive. I think you should seek out direct and actionable feedback rather than only trusting your instincts on the vague and unhelpful feedback others have given you.
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:17 PM
7

These posts are the seddit equivalent of those little live laugh love signs
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:09 PM
3

Hey, that's possible. Have you actually had people objectively evaluate your appearance? Did they say what was good, what wasn't?
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:07 PM
19

by the way since i visited your profile -- and i don't say this insultingly, you are a great candidate for psychotherapy that addresses the negative self-talk and cognitive distortions and exaggerations that you have sold yourself. even if it were 100% true that you don't have a personality or identity, a person with your intellect and the very physical capability of moving around can begin developing it even if all you do is try to attend group classes/activities, smile, and nod at everyone and…
/r/seduction18/05/22 08:02 PM
14

tall people are on easy mode therefore I can never win the game BabyRage
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:58 PM
9

Always playfully, and with awareness of body language: Frame her as a pursuer/perv Innuendos, double entendres Find reasons to touch, bump, hug, dance, etc. Deep but not unrelenting eye contact that nonetheless you would feel gay if you had with a bro friend Increasing proximity as the night goes on Finding excuses to be alone with her
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:56 PM
6

what if your inner child was destroyed by conservatism, cynicism, and habitual self hatred
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:50 PM
1

Yet being anxious, overeager, quiet, cowardly, supplicative, or lacking in flirtatiousness have all not worked, and were "natural" elements of my personality. That needs to change!
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:39 PM
2

I don't know what to tell you. All I know is that being who I was didn't work. Being who I am isn't working. Being another me, if you will, might.
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:23 PM
0

Right, you can't entirely eliminate chance, but that isn't the point. It's more about lowering general barrier of entry and increasing that initial attraction overall. A given popular approach doesn't have to work with 100% of women, it just has to work with more of them than less, and/or more often with the type you want rather than the type you don't. I remember voicing my frustration about this to an acquaintance years ago- I feel like I'm too shy, quiet, low-key/inactive/boring, and she said…
/r/seduction18/05/22 07:18 PM
1

There exist data on what tends to be attractive, and from this we can try to work out theories for what tends to work more often than not. We follow this logic all the time, though which ideas we base the logic off of vary. Guys build muscle, learn social skills, learn to flirt and express less neediness or excess vulnerability. Girls wear makeup, change their clothes, etc. We do things that aren't instinctive, that aren't naively "us", that we might not even like, all the time, in hopes of gett…
/r/seduction18/05/22 06:39 PM
1

capitalist-machine grindy Thank you for this- And yes, I suppose it is good to fill what spare time you can with things you actually enjoy or that engage you that don't give you an opportunity to look at your phone.
/r/seduction18/05/22 04:29 PM
-1

I used to think this way, and then realized I would be left only with women I in all honesty didn't have much attraction for. If I want to attract women who have more options, I need to be at least as good as or better than those options to her.
/r/seduction18/05/22 03:56 PM
3

What do you mean?
/r/seduction18/05/22 03:55 PM
1

That's what I'm saying. I get having more activity so your mind isn't always in a state of "gee I hope that girl texts me back" and so you get more opportunities and don't have to be as needy, but if it's a spread-the-type-A virus please miss me with that shit I like taking large amounts of my time to do nothing productive
/r/seduction18/05/22 03:37 PM
1

Why?
/r/seduction18/05/22 05:07 AM
3

Yuah guhl wool leeve you; and deh wool still be deh ayun. Uman existunce wool end; and deh wool still be deh ayun. Deh sun wool expiah, deh univaahs wool ureach heet dehth; and oowat will be left; wool be oonly deh ayun.
/r/seduction18/05/22 05:01 AM
2

Look at their account and tell me that again with a straight face
/r/seduction18/05/22 03:55 AM
3

You still haven't understood the logic people used when dismantling the argument you made a week ago. You are saying that the girl is going off your looks. That's quite true. The thing is that you aren't accounting for several things involved that aren't in OLD: Your balls in approaching. This alone separates you from the pack of 95% of guys during the day, and it separates you from 100% of the guys on Tinder. That stand-out factor combined with the fact that you are now competing primarily with…
/r/seduction18/05/22 03:51 AM
2

Bait
/r/seduction18/05/22 03:20 AM
19

shift the blame to her what the fuck
/r/seduction18/05/22 01:49 AM
1

Yeah I'm not disagreeing with that at all, but I view it as part of a whole rather than a one-or-the-other. I see lots of topics where it's like "literally become Jason Statham or you'll never feel like an alpha male" and you get these guys who do nothing but "work on themselves" and become rich ripped super smart guys who never learn to actually approach or talk to girls and then you have guys who only approach but they're flat broke and the only place they have to bounce is their parents' hous…
/r/seduction17/05/22 11:38 PM
1

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which means comprehensively and persistently being aware of and trying to change how you respond to your own thoughts and feelings. In other words, a lot of work.
/r/seduction17/05/22 11:36 PM
8

Yeah like, it's crazy - I even remember this one girl approaching me, asking for directions and having body language I read even then as interested, and then that interest dissipating quickly when she realized I was a tired and confused weirdo lol
/r/seduction17/05/22 09:29 PM
24

or be like i was and be a sadsack aimlessly wandering around not knowing any of the cool bands or songs or having anything to talk to anyone about You need a foundation of social competence and well-roundedness before you can expect cold approach to yield more than just being numbed to rejection
/r/seduction17/05/22 09:17 PM
2

For someone who has recommended CBT I'm a little confused why you're trolling like this
/r/seduction17/05/22 09:05 PM
5

How is this helpful
/r/seduction17/05/22 06:37 PM
2

I don't usually find that expressing my own desire "creates" it but only "discovers" it if you will. Not saying it is bad to do but it is not the only component, and overdoing it has sunk me as well. The level and which behaviors "work" are entirely dependent on the girl
/r/seduction17/05/22 06:32 PM
12

Analytical, undersocialized, and probably anxious/afraid which makes even the simple concept of "be firm fun and flirty" a daunting task that requires slide rules and graphing calculators totally not talking about myself
/r/seduction17/05/22 05:46 PM
1

I used to be fun and confident before I sold my soul but moving out will actually require me to deal with that issue when trying to meet people and make new friends. Do it. Feeling better about being independent is a great foundation to start from.
/r/seduction16/05/22 10:22 PM
1

Yeah, not saying you're wrong. I look around this apartment and I just have too much stuff, plus I'm not sure I even want a lifestyle where I live in one place for more than six months at a time. There's a lot I'd need to mentally let alone physically unpack before even considering a depreciating condo
/r/seduction16/05/22 08:44 PM
0

Why are you saving all this money just to come home to an empty bed every night? As a long time renter in the burbs I find myself asking the same thing, but I realize it's because I view a mortgage agreement of any kind as just as much of a burden.
/r/seduction16/05/22 08:37 PM
1

Bro, I'm adding some constructive comments since you complained that his post was vague. This is something I've struggled with myself and I'm trying to help people, not sell a stupid book. If what you take away from this is that I'm a sock puppet account you seriously need to touch grass.
/r/seduction16/05/22 05:34 PM
1

This smells like bait
/r/seduction16/05/22 06:25 AM
1

also just paying close attention to how other guys you know fuck behave around women
/r/seduction16/05/22 06:03 AM
6

Software Engineers This is why I never, ever talk about my job, and also why I make a point of paying attention to anything but my industry or field.
/r/seduction16/05/22 05:05 AM
8

Starter kit: Rich Dad Poor Dad "Generational Wealth" "Mentor" who "retired in his 30s" and "owns a bunch of classic cars" Doesn't tell you what company they actually work for One-on-one seminar where they pretend to be interested in you as a person or student when really they're just trying to sign you up to do the same thing and buy shit from the company to resell then tell the same pack of lies to the next clueless shmuck
/r/seduction16/05/22 05:04 AM
1

So you enjoy when a woman tells you "get away you ugly f'ing creep/perv/pedo"? ... That's like saying I enjoy getting rejected... The important thing to remember is that what's not being rejected is "you" so much as an "image of you." Even people who know you well know you like a diver knows a cave. They may never discover, like, or want to discover the entire thing even if they like much of it. This is also an easy thing to understand rationally, but a difficult thing for people like you and I …
/r/seduction16/05/22 04:49 AM
2

Like, where you're standing seems to be "there is no point in me trying," but have you actually... Tried?
/r/seduction16/05/22 12:52 AM
1

I struggle with this question myself but grinding out approaches, taking mental notes on what you do and what response you tend to get, and (this last one I definitely need to improve) watch/listen to stuff with banter/flirting in it, comedians, shows/movies etc.
/r/seduction16/05/22 12:43 AM
2

I think this isn't really great advice any more than that unrealistic "positive affirmation" bullshit people toss around. You can't just up and pretend you're something you've never felt like being. If you can I encourage you to start an acting gig in LA
/r/seduction15/05/22 11:19 PM
1

what you need to realize is that yes looks are a big factor in attraction but your personality multiplies your looks
/r/seduction15/05/22 11:18 PM
6

I think there are at least five ways to really attack this, though they may not work for every man*: Build a lifestyle and hone talents that allow you to feel less influenced by others' opinions of you. This is more difficult when you feel you are lacking something in your life but gets easier as you cut down on the things you feel that you are lacking. Exposure therapy. This is a classic method and allows you to become accustomed to negative opinions without swaying your mood or self-image. Sta…
/r/seduction15/05/22 09:32 PM
1

kissless virgin this fucking phrase needs to die
/r/seduction13/05/22 05:44 PM
1

I agree in principle, although I've dealt with this specific problem my entire life and I don't think practice is what will shake it, especially since it blunts all my practice.
/r/seduction13/05/22 07:30 AM
1

I read this comment and I can't help but think of that scene from Career Opportunities where what's-his-face and Jennifer Connelly are vibing in a Walmart because his character is basically just like "let's have fun doing this", roller blading, throwing shit at each other, etc and she just goes with it. Not every girl is going to like your lead but I guess that just makes it easier to find out who is a better match for you
/r/seduction13/05/22 06:46 AM
1

I've done literally this where I got a disappointed "I guess I'll see you around?" and didn't ask for the number because I was in a shit state. The way she asked it is kind of important but if you felt any kind of a "tug" in the way she said it then you're in
/r/seduction13/05/22 06:42 AM
3

I disagree. We learn much of our socializing through watching it and reusing and retooling the patterns we observe
/r/seduction12/05/22 11:53 PM
2

You gotta let go of the inner filters - when you say something and then the woman replays with something, multiple things "pop" up in your head to talk about - don't try to find the coolest topic - just go with something that feels the best atm. What if you do this and all that comes out is stupid shit yet this isn't a problem with people you have no anxiety with?
/r/seduction12/05/22 11:35 PM
22

Long ago I met a girl that I had that kind of "deep conversation" with right off the bat. It was really chill, the only difference was that I unapologetically flirted and made just enough eye contact to make my other thoughts clear but not suffocate the conversation. The problem was that I stopped doing this in later encounters because I became afraid to lose her, and very quickly did. So I would say that there has to always be this sexual undercurrent or side-current, if you will.
/r/seduction12/05/22 11:31 PM
1

In the cases where the fault could potentially have an impact on your performance, it’s often much more effective to directly address the issue upfront, and call out the elephant in the room as it were. What if your problem is crippling anxiety?
/r/seduction12/05/22 11:29 PM
1

your sister I mean I'm obviously not talking Roll Tide here but isn't the kind of shit-talking between siblings one thing to be going for here?
/r/seduction12/05/22 07:17 PM
5

this applies to concert venues as well
/r/seduction11/05/22 05:19 PM
1

Logorrhea.
/r/seduction11/05/22 05:18 PM
2

Also be very specific; come up with something fun to do and tell her to come with you on x day at y time. If she is interested she will offer to reschedule if she legitimately can't go, or you can try again in a couple weeks. For your own sanity I recommend against trying again after the second attempt
/r/seduction11/05/22 10:50 AM
12

Hit rock bottom. Have your friends and a licensed therapist clinical psychologist ready to catch you. Go out, have almost a taste of what you want deep down, and fail to get it. Do this consistently, every night or day that you can. Approach. Fear. Stumble over your words, get rejected. Perhaps begin to be fear less, or more, and not know what you're doing; still get rejected. Do this countless times. Eventually you will come to one of two conclusions. First you will believe that you are not goo…
/r/seduction10/05/22 07:03 PM
1

I mean, kind of? Think of a pie chart for every moment in an interaction; every choice from body position to the words used to the level of eye contact and voice tonality. 90-95% of the possible decisions your brain could make in a conversation might be wrong/bad if you are aiming for a certain outcome. Pick a random direction on the pie chart. This is what a newbie does. They will overwhelmingly miss the sliver of "good" decisions and may fail to improve/give up if they don't even know what the…
/r/seduction10/05/22 06:48 PM
7

You're her little brother
/r/seduction10/05/22 08:55 AM
7

"Nice" isn't the problem, it's the degree of assertiveness and social creativity/calibration you successfully/allow yourself to display. You can be a fun flirty absolute dick to be around and still volunteer at the orphanage
/r/seduction10/05/22 06:48 AM
6

I know porn is fake sex Legit amateur stuff often isn't, like people filming themselves or small PH couple channels. Learn the difference between fake-tits-oh-oh-ohhhh and two people actually enjoying one another. I recommend toning down or not watching porn before this, though, if you've been watching it. how long does foreplay last Learn to enjoy it as its own thing, in fact I often find it more enjoyable than the sex itself. Basically it lasts until neither of you can stand another instant of…
/r/seduction10/05/22 05:32 AM
2

Axe throwing Karaoke Barcades Dance class Gym dates (dead srs) Day dates/drinking in old towns/downtowns Those funny golfing places that arent mini golf Paint bars
/r/seduction09/05/22 08:06 PM
2

Make it a man-to-man interaction So I should challenge her to a jousting and hand to hand deathmatch?
/r/seduction09/05/22 07:55 PM
4

What you're feeling primarily is a fear of being hurt. Does this hurt stem from any particular memories or crystallized thoughts about what could happen? If this is your problem, discussing this fear with a professional might help. I don't see this on the list, so perhaps you could frame this to yourself as no different than speaking to a man. When would you speak to a man? Develop natural curiosity about others, or a natural propensity for commenting on them in a positive way. Men and women to …
/r/seduction09/05/22 07:15 PM
2

Look deep into her eyes. Put your hand on hers. "I'm still here. Let me decide that." Then book it for the window and jump!
/r/seduction09/05/22 06:46 PM
9

I want this on a t-shirt
/r/seduction09/05/22 08:39 AM
5

So?
/r/seduction09/05/22 08:19 AM
9

You believe that personality is worthless because it is not necessary for the most moneyed or best looking men, yet discount the successful lays of men with little money, success, or looks that swing attraction in their favor based on their personality. Why?
/r/seduction09/05/22 08:10 AM
1

Like, I agree if she forms a negative opinion of you over it/not having one; but if it's partly a tool that you use to give people positive impressions then there's nothing wrong with her getting exactly that in my mind
/r/seduction09/05/22 06:00 AM
3

Why not ask it in reverse: What does it hurt to have these positive things available for someone on the fence, or who already likes you but who perhaps feels safer or more excited for believing you are a man of value?
/r/seduction09/05/22 04:41 AM
5

This sounds like a good way to get divorced on your first date
/r/seduction09/05/22 03:49 AM
5

More like Barrel of Monkeys
/r/seduction09/05/22 03:48 AM
21

no relationships smiling mr incredible 200 first dates aware mr incredible
/r/seduction09/05/22 03:39 AM
1

What happens when you overthink shit on the savannah? You ded brah. What happens when you freeze in tense social situations with your tribe? You ded brah
/r/seduction09/05/22 03:19 AM
6

later that night, I take the girl next to me home. /r/restofthefuckingowl
/r/seduction09/05/22 02:53 AM
6

Caught my fiancé cheating on me that's some call of the void shit right there
/r/seduction09/05/22 02:50 AM
2

How would they know from the very begining if you can provide that? They don't apart from your style and manner of grooming, but that's just the hook. The rest is how you socialize and how quickly you break rapport
/r/seduction09/05/22 02:45 AM
1

I talk to strangers when I go out. I try to practice flirting and dancing. I try to practice banter. I feel that that is all I can do short of relocating or driving long distances to find a good place to try daygame or pick up new group hobbies.
/r/seduction09/05/22 01:46 AM
1

I think dating is difficult for me because I struggle with deep-seated anxiety, lack of social skills growing up, am different and uninteresting to most people, and thus don't have an interested audience. I also think I look blah to ugly in photos, so apps are a no-go for me. I could put more effort into approaching and self-improvement, but the action I do take is quite far from "no action."
/r/seduction08/05/22 11:54 PM
2

Having been in situations where not taking the opportunity resulted in a worse outcome than just doing it regardless of the potential drawbacks, I'd say focus mainly on pleasuring her in ways other than with your dick if you think that's not up for the occasion.
/r/seduction08/05/22 09:02 PM
8

Improving social skills is not a negative with regard to seduction
/r/seduction08/05/22 07:30 PM
1

Lack of healthy social and or home environments, women's attitudes and expectations shifting with popular media, and lack of attractive role models for men, if I had to guess. I only have n=1.
/r/seduction08/05/22 06:40 PM
-1

You get fifty rings and slam your dick into a starpost
/r/seduction08/05/22 09:10 AM
13

I lost my virginity at 24. I had opportunities before that, and mixed thoughts about whether I should have done it earlier, but ultimately I am very happy that I lost it with the woman I chose to lose it with. The problems in your mind will almost certainly not be solved by losing your virginity, because they are not caused by the fact that you are a virgin. They are caused by what is causing you to be a virgin. Perhaps you are starved of intimacy, affection, or validation, or all three. Perhaps…
/r/seduction08/05/22 09:07 AM
2

So, synthwave cologne?
/r/seduction08/05/22 09:03 AM
2

If you get into a relationship you’ll have less sex then you’re having now. Why do you think this is happening to you?
/r/seduction08/05/22 09:01 AM
1

I would assume most guys frequenting Reddit are having their problems in a Western country
/r/seduction06/05/22 08:24 PM
2

How do your conversations usually go with such women?
/r/seduction06/05/22 08:06 PM
1

98% of all people have never used "Game" and done just fine. https://news.iu.edu/stories/2020/06/iub/releases/15-sexual-inactivity-young-men-united-states-no-sex-debby-herbenick.html
/r/seduction06/05/22 07:14 PM
2

Produces another bong, takes rip I'm now afraid to ask from where said bong was produced
/r/seduction06/05/22 06:43 PM
3

Yes, I completely understand. Notice that I said I did not start to feel like I could open up until I was around people who accept me who I did not know, that was my specific sticking point. You can't control how people will respond to you. But you can control how often they might respond well and you can control how often you meet new people. You should eventually find what you seek in changing these parameters.
/r/seduction05/05/22 06:07 PM
13

I think finding places where you feel like you belong that tend to be frequented by attractive women, and beginning to feel like they accept and are comfortable with your personality, is a good start. I think this is why it's key to actually chill out and not feel any urgency to have sex, even if you're in your 30s. I went from extremely depressed and feeling like I was awful this time last week to feeling like myself and more confident just from meeting a few new people that enjoyed talking to …
/r/seduction05/05/22 09:06 AM
13

"Would you like your armor polished, sir? What do you want? I don't know you." You could also take a friendly tack or just explain that you work in the area and like to try to meet new people. The main thing is to play dumb and not cave to his frame. At the end of the day, it's a public place. You're allowed to try to speak to whom you want in it so long as you're respectful of obvious boundaries.
/r/seduction04/05/22 11:13 PM
1

I've been practicing as long as I can remember since the pandemic ended. When I have a place to go out, two to three times a week, I will make at least one approach. My hygiene is good. My style is OK. I draw the entire bar into what I do sometimes. But I torpedo myself because I never seem to improve at socializing which is compounded by anxiety from repeated failure. I leave early, stumble over my words, or get overeager/afraid when I start to realize I'm succeeding. My mind blanks frequently,…
/r/seduction04/05/22 07:19 AM
3

That helps if I'm about to say something dumb, but very often it's either that something decent gets delivered poorly or my mind blanks due to anxiety. I'm very bad at faking it til I make it; I haven't gotten laid in 3 years.
/r/seduction04/05/22 06:03 AM
7

Are you trying to win your dream girl or pick up randoms? its not as strange a question as it seems. Yes. And no I'm not looking for lines, I'm looking to learn how to think more quickly on my feet verbally since it was something I didn't learn how to do growing up.
/r/seduction04/05/22 04:50 AM
3

I can't "heal the wounds of self-doubt" if I'm giving myself fresh reasons to self-doubt all the time. I can't accept myself so long as I continue to be awkward and get in the way of what I want. I would rather die than accept any less than what I think I could bring into my life if I could just fix this fucking flaw. That is how deep and how long this frustration runs. I'm old as shit. I should have this figured out by now. Anyway, you come off as a really chill person. Thanks for the reply.
/r/seduction04/05/22 03:46 AM
1

Big cities have entire colleges in them. Find clubs or bars that students go to.
/r/seduction03/05/22 04:41 AM
2

After some reflection I said this earlier today. Your ex knows you very well, right? And so being rejected by or broken up with by them can feel like a stab to the chest. It's a thorough and deep judgment. You feel like your soul is laid bare and seen for what it really is. But like all judgments, it is subjective. It is related to a context, that context being that specific person's wants and needs. If those wants and needs are reasonable for others to have, then it is merely a bit of feedback …
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:52 AM
1

If she was crazy or did not understand how constructive criticism isn't the same as belittlement it could end very badly. This is the same reason girls don't do this for guys.
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:45 AM
4

I get what you're saying, but it is hard to not feel quite literally worthless when your approaches do not provide the value you would love to give to others, particularly in a realm in which a lot of us guys don't find ourselves valued by the people we most desire. The giving mindset only makes sense if you have what people love in the first place.
/r/seduction03/05/22 12:01 AM
1

You might have been misinterpreted as saying "cold approach doesn't allow you to form real connections" although I'm reading it as "cold approach more rarely allows you to form good connections" because it is completely random and not focused on things you actually like and care about. On the other hand, having leaned way too far into my comfort zone I find that I haven't grown socially like I should have because I leaned on the value my hobbies and stage presence bring and not on having a great…
/r/seduction02/05/22 11:36 PM
12

The conversation has to be 80% about her, 20% about you Something hit me recently as I heard some form of this rule for the umpteenth time. There needs to be some percent that is "us", that is, that connects you to her. "Oh shit I like that too." "I know how you feel" stories. Goofy ass fictional scenarios and future plans. Reasons you and her could never work out. Why your future kids could never be allowed to be brought into this world. Testing how you work together on "certain things". Too mu…
/r/seduction02/05/22 11:29 PM
6

You gotta learn to create that movie moment she remembers That's the signal in the noise I've been looking for. I'd actually rather read about your experiences. I've been the "magic man" a few times before but I want to learn how to do it all the time, even if that means I screw up a lot.
/r/seduction02/05/22 06:36 PM
3

Definitely take small breaks to rebuild your mental state; but also notice when you're making excuses to avoid approaching. Keep on the grind. If you need your friends/favorite hobby/dog to recharge you for a day or a couple weeks, do that, but always be getting back out there.
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:35 PM
8

That's the first step then.
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:28 PM
5

They reject the experiment, not you because they don’t know you enough to tell how much you are actually worth as a person. I felt like absolute dogshit when an ex who knew me very well rejected me. I wish I had understood earlier: It's important to remember that this isn't even necessarily a reflection of you, just an image of you versus a specific set of needs and wants. So I totally agree, I just wanted to add that there's even less reason to take it so personally even if she does know you ve…
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:28 PM
1

You're taking this too personally. In the savannah days where there was no time to waste and kids were an even more daunting prospect than now, women had to make very exacting snap judgments of what exactly a man was and what risk there might be in bearing his children. Filter that evolutionary mindset through cultural conditioning that discourages women from sleeping around and the fact that women often have to be wary around men that they don't know, and you're looking at a recipe for failure …
/r/seduction02/05/22 02:22 PM
1

Bash your head against a wall for enough years and it will make you go quite literally insane. Not saying it excuses directing that anger at other people, but I can totally empathize with the frustration
/r/seduction01/05/22 07:21 PM
3

Chad has a couple meanings. In some places on the net it means a guy who does things above and beyond, in the places it originated (incel forums etc.) it means guys who are naturally better looking or more physically attractive such that they have to put little effort into dating. It's the latter that incels believe prevent them from ever having a chance in the dating arena. This is obviously untrue to anyone with any real-world experience, but Chad is nevertheless a focus of incel hate.
/r/seduction30/04/22 05:40 AM
1

wkward tendencies will go away the more you socialize. I find that few people tend to have much in common with me, which makes it difficult to have more than a superficial conversation or banter. Is this impossible to fix this without pursuing things I'm not actually interested in? Like yes, I can ask them questions about their hobbies/interests/whatever they like, but I'd basically bore the shit out of them with interview mode after a while if I have absolutely no input.
/r/seduction30/04/22 05:35 AM
2

Some of my best deadpan comes from when I feel dead inside.
/r/seduction29/04/22 10:35 AM
2

That might be true, though I think a lot of the issues with the PUA community is that newbies get the impression that this is true all of the time and not a very rare thing. Like, is an exceptionally charismatic gay man going to talk his way into your pants? Probably not unless you have a little attraction to begin with.
/r/seduction28/04/22 06:43 PM
1

And if you aren't happy with what you're getting, you need to focus on increasing your own attractiveness/value. Not your game. I think this is not always correct. I'm talented, well-dressed, and can look after myself. The issue is that I don't have a decent grasp how to engage with people emotionally and have a good conversation with strangers if I don't recognize the few topics I understand. This gets worse with anxiety and makes me simp-y and afraid to express myself. In other words, social s…
/r/seduction28/04/22 06:39 PM
16

I'm not so sure that's the right way to do it. We all know what happens when the women-haters of the world stuff themselves into a tiny echo chamber and yell about how unfair it all is, would that be any less unproductive or dangerous if women who've had bad experiences with men did it?
/r/seduction27/04/22 05:30 PM
2

I completely disagree with that. I think they're getting dropped by women because in spite of some initial "charm", the women realize there's not much depth behind it/them. So, on the one hand this cuts me because I realize there isn't much depth or purpose or provision in my own life, and no development of an entertaining personality will remedy that. It's possible, even likely I wouldn't "keep" a woman's interest without that, but then I'm not interested in that. At the same time, I also reali…
/r/seduction26/04/22 09:38 PM
3

I mean, this guy is just flat out wrong. It's like saying you should trying to learn how to synthesize codeine or build a bridge by "just trying it." Look at examples of how specific kinds of interactions have been done before and if not copying them (which frankly I fucking hate), just try to get something from those examples.
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:15 PM
1

I am a slow burner and mostly want a relationship What are your interests? Maybe you should cast your net for hobby or night out friends rather than lays or dates and those opportunities might present themselves as your circle expands. The great thing about this is that you don't even need to really "game", just have a pressure-free conversation where you figure out if women like the same things you do no different than guys.
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:11 PM
7

Unless I know the girl well I have a two sentence rule. I try my best to keep my shit as concise and low effort as possible
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:09 PM
1

why don't you study with her in your room and find out
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:00 PM
2

They have trouble keeping them. I imagine this is because they have so many options they find it difficult to dedicate themselves to just one person, not because they are more fun and outspoken and bold and sexually assertive than your average seddit consumer. They are ALL introverted. Self-admittedly and otherwise as well. So there goes your "fact". True or not, all of your examples are at the very least decent looking and all of them are sitting on massive piles of cash. This means they don't …
/r/seduction26/04/22 07:59 PM
2

she wants to bang on a study sesh dude
/r/seduction26/04/22 07:49 PM
1

ok that is fair i misjudged
/r/seduction26/04/22 07:48 PM
1

i'm five foot six and a small orc but i ain't giving up come on dude
/r/seduction26/04/22 06:52 PM
3

I always drink water and tip for it. The bartenders are happy and I get to find out who's obnoxious about my habits quickly.
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:58 AM
1

escaping routines I've noticed this a lot where I'll be talking to a woman/women and if it's going well I will find a way to quickly and warmly nope out to avoid fucking up, but in so doing I also fuck up. I really wish I could make this shit go away.
/r/seduction26/04/22 08:56 AM
5

Yes the term is neckbeard sounding and outdated but what else do you want to call what basically amounts to journaling. These are supposed to be anecdotes where you do a specific behavior and get a certain outcome and try to learn from the experience.
/r/seduction26/04/22 05:58 AM
2

Coed sports in general are great, but I hate sports so ehh
/r/seduction25/04/22 05:38 PM
2

Cold approach in particular is the cheat code to be nerdy and still meet women. The issue for me is that I rarely know what to talk about; I can only banter/cold read for so long before inevitably fucking up.
/r/seduction25/04/22 05:37 PM
2

The first lesson is to leave your small town and go someplace big. That's going to cost you, but the opportunities alone will completely change your perspective. As a 33-year-old who's spent way too long in suburbia, trust me on this one. This is the one thing you want to make sure you nail down. Live where the opportunities are.
/r/seduction15/04/22 09:48 AM
2

Yes and no. I've gone through "rejection therapy" in a way once before. In college over a decade ago, I sat for an hour or so in front of ChatRoulette and got "nexted" by over 100 people. It was dumb and I took it way too personally, but this did something very important. It made me believe that I was worth nothing, which made me free to do anything -- expecting failure, therefore not fearing the consequences of what I do or say. I quickly found that I was in fact not worth nothing, but was made…
/r/seduction15/04/22 09:34 AM
7

Society for some reason seems really reluctant to admit that there is a separate set of social/psychological (as in, minding your own mindset, not manipulating others) skills involved in dating and that ignoring the pursuit of these skills comes at a great expense to both men and women.
/r/seduction14/04/22 04:47 AM
1

Will do, thanks.
/r/seduction14/04/22 04:40 AM
1

Ask people for podcasts where the hosts banter each other all the time. Watch streams where the streamer and chat prank/roast each other. Take in a variety of content so you get a feel for what kind of audience likes what so you're not just throwing say random Carlin style balls-to-the-wall humor at an alt feminist girl who hates hearing that kind of shit
/r/seduction14/04/22 12:33 AM
9

This has nothing to do with you personally, it's just a common phenomenon and the girl doesn't know you. That's why girls soft reject all the time. I know it's fucking annoying and draining sometimes but it's the nature of the game. Find some hotter leads instead
/r/seduction14/04/22 12:30 AM
1

life is meant to be lived in a simple way,why overcomplicate it Many people enjoy indirect and complex routes to success, even if they're very inefficient.
/r/seduction11/04/22 09:54 PM
1

I feel like the smile can be divisive versus a neutral mouth. Depending on what you're saying it might come off condescending or douchey rather than the "i'm having fun being a little shit" attitude you might be trying to convey here. Then I compare this to say how you might see Sean Connery in old interviews, I watch old infields by the London crowd and I don't really see a need for it either. Not saying don't do you, just that it could go either way and could be adjusted to the vibe of the int…
/r/seduction11/04/22 07:07 PM
1

This is up to each person Of course. But I hope you get something useful out of this sub.
/r/seduction11/04/22 05:20 AM
2

Your comment history is littered with your bemoaning the state of dating for a 5'6" mixed man. I'm the same height, skinny as fuck, and over 30. The three reasons I don't have an SO/FWB right now are my anxiety, choice of living place, and awful text game. These are all things I feel it is in my power to fix. It could be that your face is holding you back but it seems more like you're just saying there's no point in trying to cope with your lack of success.
/r/seduction11/04/22 04:09 AM
1

That depends.
/r/seduction10/04/22 05:37 PM
1

You must embrace being rejected, or more precisely, how the process of being rejected numbs you to giving a shit. The quicker you learn that this is a game of numbers and finding those specific girls that like your physical type and/or sense of humor -- the quicker you learn to forgive yourself for mistakes and misunderstandings -- the quicker you learn to just take none of this shit personally! The better off you will be, and the more successful. Years ago, when Chatroulette was new and not yet…
/r/seduction10/04/22 04:13 PM
2

We I don’t like it. Ok, fair enough. Wear your headphones and keep your face stuffed in a book. If I see someone I'm curious about I'm going to say hi. I hope that's all right with you 🥺
/r/seduction10/04/22 03:27 PM
2

Cold approaching is low-value and last-resort Hot take.
/r/seduction10/04/22 03:20 PM
26

Just try thinking about the most interesting person you know or you've seen in a movie and try to understand how to act like that. raspy voice I'm Batman.
/r/seduction10/04/22 02:39 PM
3

Many of them strike at the same theme I'm thinking of, but this one is a particularly good contrast. I'm not sure I agree with all the "this is a good example lines" specifically but the idea of not just getting to a dry and simple point is the important takeaway.
/r/seduction09/04/22 10:41 PM
2

Yes, and most YouTube PUAs are trying to sell you something. At the same time I think it's important to not adopt a limiting belief on your approaches on the basis of how much easier appearances can make them
/r/seduction09/04/22 08:32 PM
3

I think there's three camps. Yes Girls as a certain infamous pua would put it - the "first u have to be her type", No Girls, as you identify them - whose only consent to your advances is for your attention, with no interest or intent to actually get with you, but then there's \ 3. Maybe Girls, which is where game is intended to make a difference. You might just be average looking to her, but how you make her feel will make a difference in what she wants to do with you. Even some of us - maybe a …
/r/seduction09/04/22 08:22 PM
2

Don't be straightforward when you answer questions. It hit me in the face the other day how guilty I am of this with women I just meet and how it keeps me from establishing the right vibe. Like, /u/CompetitionFair7686 has some great examples in some of his (her?) comments. You establish mystery by just focusing on fun and personal chemistry and not on the rote facts of who you are. You can do a fair amount of that on more chill one on one dates but it will sink you in night game. And if you do d…
/r/seduction09/04/22 08:06 PM
17

Women are here to please men. Period. That's fucked.
/r/seduction09/04/22 07:55 PM
1

I guess what I mean is, if I see a mess unfolding as a result of something I'm doing or failing to do, or making a choice that serves myself but comes at a nasty cost to others, I sometimes want more that the greater good is served than my more immediate desire. I think following this urge (a selfless-selfish one, if you will) is very important to a better society and world, and doesn't need to be at odds with achieving one's own personal goals, though perhaps not as quickly and extravagantly. S…
/r/seduction09/04/22 07:37 PM
1

I agree a bit. Ukrainians or Yemenis suffering can't matter to us past a certain point or we go insane, being that we realistically can't do much about what they're experiencing. If we dedicate our lives to serving others, there is nothing left of "self." OTOH, to be blithe toward the suffering of those around or close to you brings about instability and decay. I don't really have much of a purpose, but I do know that this is not the influence I want to exert or allow to occur within my certain …
/r/seduction09/04/22 06:34 PM
6

It's easy to say that until you're on year 3 of sitting by yourself with your dick in your hand wondering where it all went wrong
/r/seduction09/04/22 06:29 PM
1

other people suffering is irrelevant, Yeah, a bad one.
/r/seduction09/04/22 06:27 PM
2

It's like any other bar. It can be hit-or-miss, but they definitely show up, particularly in larger, urban karaoke bars. It does get a bit complicated: It depends on your area and the size/popularity of the bar. I've been from tiny podunk dives in the sticks to enormous on-stage affairs (replete with hundreds of college students who want nothing to do with me, lol) in DC. I've done this sort of thing in four major cities and you can pretty reliably find at least one pretty single girl a week, if…
/r/seduction09/04/22 06:23 PM
2

Maybe it's a bit like sports where the minor leaguers are mostly ignored and we only look at how the very top athletes get laid e.g. NFL players, top MMA fighters, etc. So just sub that with like Ed Sheeran or Kanye or any big-name EDM artist
/r/seduction09/04/22 02:01 AM
1

I'm just a karaoke singer, but after ten years I've gotten pretty fucking good at it. It can be a great in with strangers of all sexes and ages depending on your performance and what song you pick relative to your audience (and this might be a key distinction for you, if you're playing gigs at places where people aren't coming to see specifically you or listen to your genre), but that's it. It's a boost, not a magic bullet. SMV as usual is the package of looks/status/personality that you bring. …
/r/seduction09/04/22 01:18 AM
1

i ate the pasta :(
/r/seduction08/04/22 06:36 PM
1

you don't understand me or what i'm saying at all
/r/seduction08/04/22 06:16 PM
3

I wish there were a good alternative to Instagram. Fuck Facebook
/r/seduction08/04/22 06:08 PM
1

I'm the kind of guy who works smart and hard And this is what I mean! Protestant work ethic. FUCK work. FUCK. Work. We can talk about exercise endorphins or the greater good or "don't you want this" and yes those things are important to some varying degree but at the end of the day anyone who's trying to sell me on spending one extra second of my life on something tedious I fucking hate doing can jump in a ditch! Mind, none of this is meant for you personally with any real hostility, I'm more ju…
/r/seduction08/04/22 09:12 AM
2

Do not do this.
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:46 AM
10

Have strong text game fuck
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:37 AM
1

⚠️Use with extreme caution Yes. When I use any more than two sentences and/or exclamation marks I get ghosted.
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:29 AM
1

What do you mean, "for myself?" "As a man?" None of those things appeal to me. None of those things make me feel satisfied outside of the context of what I might receive from the outside world. I do them like eating vegetables, because I think it might get me closer to some outcome I want. Acting like this ideal of how we should chase success and more more more for its own sake and be the absolute best we can be! and not actually enjoy just chilling the fuck out is how you get psychopaths with t…
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:24 AM
1

Well like, "hello" is gibberish in a subset of human languages, but that doesn't mean it isn't an acceptable or even welcome greeting to a sizeable chunk of humanity. You optimize differently for different situations but two things tend to be the same here: 1. English forum for Westerners, and 2. Humans haven't changed too too much psychologically from our distant forbears and the advice tends to capitalize on that. There are no "magic" fomulae but there is plenty of reliable advice in this sphe…
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:13 AM
1

Move out of your parent's basement. Let's be real here. Move out of any basement that isn't a 1-bedroom in the city.
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:08 AM
1

that's probably because 99% of the angles are "you're coping" lmao
/r/seduction08/04/22 08:04 AM
12

Some women might be attracted to or psychologically damaged enough to want straight up abusive men, but more than likely such guys have a bunch of other characteristics women like. Take Chris Brown. He's a massive piece of shit that very nearly murdered Rihanna. But he's also confident, wealthy, and extremely successful. If he was actually a genuinely nice person and never abusive? Some percent of women would like him less. Some percent wouldn't change their opinion, as it isn't at all based on …
/r/seduction08/04/22 07:58 AM
2

logistics, neediness, fatigue, and lack of text calibration, if i had to name my problems
/r/seduction07/04/22 08:50 PM
2

"Pay attention to what she does" would help you a lot it sounds like. She is choosing to make herself available. She is choosing to be with you. She is choosing to hold your hand. She is choosing to be alone with you. All that you endured when you were younger sits in the back of your mind as a defense mechanism. I sympathize with that, particularly with a lot of recent disappointments I've had. There are two things a guy with your history may have to watch out for: Clinging to opportunities tha…
/r/seduction07/04/22 07:09 PM
1

Women will come naturally with the money so you’re technically working on both. I can tell you from this dry, dry spell that it does not lmao
/r/seduction07/04/22 05:41 PM
5

Women will come naturally with the money so you’re technically working on both. I can tell you from this dry, dry spell that it does not lmao
/r/seduction07/04/22 05:40 PM
8

That on the sly shit is never sly and will usually make people look at you as shifty. Just tell her you want to go. If she says no or isn't interested in you romantically you can meet other people at the show.
/r/seduction07/04/22 03:08 PM
1

I never said you wouldn’t get respect from others Of course, I'm not saying that either. It's more, I can and do focus on progress - maybe not as much as I should, but I do - but it, in and of itself, doesn't bring me the fulfillment necessary to get this dgaf attitude about what people think of me. I don't know if that's something wrong with me, if you've just got a different personality, but I see this advice all the time and I just don't wrap my head around it. I don't know that it works for …
/r/seduction07/04/22 07:01 AM
8

For lots of people, 10k is five+ months of rent in a rich area, it's probably closer to seven-nine in a middle income area for a one bedroom. People with average jobs and student debt don't have that kind of money to drop on furniture. I say that as a guy who absolutely could do that right this second. What you're proposing isn't reasonable for everyone, or even most guys.
/r/seduction07/04/22 06:56 AM
8

You don't need all-stainless appliances or granite countertops or a 69-inch TV. Invite the type of girls that want to smoke a bowl and love leds/$20 mandala prints over, maybe get a dog. It's not about "i have a big bag" it's "i know how to be fun". I could have done this ages ago but I don't smoke or have any pets so it's like fuck.
/r/seduction07/04/22 06:52 AM
1

Get there early or meet people in line, or talk to them during intermissions. You can also try to dance with them or just use body language and talk to them afterward. I've gotten a couple numbers from reasonably attractive women this way, but they went nowhere mostly because my text game is garbo
/r/seduction06/04/22 09:02 PM
78

(~69%) narrows gaze
/r/seduction06/04/22 05:58 PM
1

You need to work on yourself, all this angst and worry about other people is just a byproduct of not having your own success. I mean, sort of? But what is success? Success to me is the adulation of others. I don't find fulfillment from doing things for myself. I just don't. Like, I could do things to not feel shitty, like getting a good haircut or being clean and smelling nice, but that's very different from feeling satisfied.
/r/seduction06/04/22 05:26 PM
0

A good haircut, outfit, and fitness go a long way in making you not put people off, at least. If you're dog ugly then maybe there's no helping it but that probably doesn't apply to most incels
/r/seduction06/04/22 04:08 PM
2

Wouldn't this depend entirely on the guy, girl, and relationship between them?
/r/seduction06/04/22 12:36 AM
6

$3k is like a guitar and 50 hours of lessons.
/r/seduction05/04/22 11:02 PM
3

THE WORLD IS YOURS
/r/seduction05/04/22 10:30 PM
4

What is your purpose and how did you discover it?
/r/seduction05/04/22 09:44 PM
6

I'm just going to copy my old comment and modify it a bit: Happy hours Concerts Conventions Dance/Yoga/Cooking/Art/Music classes Political or religious orgs if you're into that Charity/Nature/Animal orgs Coed sports Gyms (including specialty gyms, like rock walls or aquatic centers) Niche bars (indie dives, hipster bars, arcade bars, karaoke, craft breweries, cideries, wine bars, sometimes even gay bars) Friend parties Non friend parties
/r/seduction05/04/22 04:39 PM
1

ah yes the ol' amber heard
/r/seduction05/04/22 04:37 PM
1

Why do you think you change your behavior?
/r/seduction05/04/22 04:36 PM
2

If I have to brainwash myself into liking me, I feel like another method is called for.
/r/seduction05/04/22 04:10 PM
1

This reads like soft dismissals bother you because they make you doubt your self. You’d rather be put down hard so that you can write the other person off as a bitch. Or maybe not. Either way, it’s not up to the person rejecting you to provide positive reinforcement. Yeah, I've been there a long time ago. Women don't owe me anything -- not feedback, not a pat on the back, nothing. It's just, how many misses is this going to take? Am I just continually going in the same wrong direction? Do I need…
/r/seduction05/04/22 04:49 AM
1

I don't have much practice public speaking, though I have a lot in singing in front of a lot of people; I've learned to enjoy that of itself, but then I'm actually good at it. I haven't done an interview in a long time, and while it was stressful, I found that it was a lot less so than social situations. The common thread between the two here is that both are singularly focused and straightforward. You have a script when you sing. Interviews are about figuring out if you can do the tasks they ne…
/r/seduction04/04/22 11:15 PM
5

I'm no guru, but it's clear to me that you're considerate of how what you're doing might make these women feel. That's definitely not the mark of an asshole. If you promise or imply anything based on these encounters that you aren't willing to give, that's crossing a line, but I think the main thing is to recognize that there's nothing wrong with following a bit of passion. Sitting next to a fire versus standing in it, you know?
/r/seduction04/04/22 08:23 PM
1

One was just around my campus back when I was in college and I cold approached her The other was hanging out at a karaoke bar and had a boyfriend. I'm conflicted about that one but probably wouldn't take it back
/r/seduction04/04/22 07:54 PM
1

But seeing videos of people running on surgically lengthened limbs made me say fuck that. could you show me these? I need to know what exactly this surgery means. I'm 5'6" and probably couldn't afford it but if I could I would almost be tempted. Maybe this would dissuade me
/r/seduction04/04/22 07:41 PM
2

The more I think about where I am, I think the problem is 100% where I've chosen to live. I could totally afford a place of my own in a much more populated area that might help me practice more and get over my various anxieties but I stick to the cheap thing just because i'm indecisive about places and to save money I don't really need, all in a way that is actively thwarting me.
/r/seduction04/04/22 07:38 PM
4

I disagree, I actually find it more stressful after I've started the conversation and I'm not familiar with the topic they're talking about and changing the subject is either clumsy or requires more questions than can maintain interest in a crowded bar where she has friends Openers are easy. I have as much time as I need to come up with them based on the situation. Transitions and new cold reads when anxious and time limited are much harder and stress inducing. Like, after the fact I can come up…
/r/seduction04/04/22 07:29 PM
14

First of all, go get rejected more. Gotta toughen up. My main issue is that a lot of my rejections are soft, after the fact, or declines in interest that I interpret as "jk you're boring or not actually that attractive" and this fucks with me a lot more than a girl quickly noping out with her body language or just saying "i've got to go do xyz..." It feels worse instead of less worse and I think it's because it's cumulative and follows a "closer" if still incomplete look at me. There's no positi…
/r/seduction04/04/22 07:08 PM
1

Why does not seem possible? I would have to understand what exactly it means in practice to do what you are proposing. From where I'm standing, that means stop feeling desire when I meet women, which I cannot physically do; or stop feeling insufficient to fulfill that desire, which I have been, and the denial of which is, to me, as toxic as defining my self worth by my lack of success.
/r/seduction04/04/22 06:00 PM
1

i'd like this also!
/r/seduction04/04/22 08:31 AM
1

It is a subconscious thought pattern molded from continually frustrated desire that I do not control. As nice as it would be to simply drop it, that does not seem to be possible.
/r/seduction04/04/22 06:09 AM
1

Concerts Conventions Dance/Yoga/Cooking/Art/Music classes Political or religious orgs if you're into that Charity/Nature/Animal orgs Coed sports Gyms (including specialty gyms, like rock walls or aquatic centers) Niche bars (indie dives, hipster bars, arcade bars, sometimes even gay bars) Friend parties Non friend parties
/r/seduction03/04/22 11:49 PM
7

I want to be desired by those that I desire. I want to act on that desire. Those who desire me, I do not desire, and those who I desire, do not desire me. My friends, obviously, cannot fulfill this need. In fact, part of me feels that my current friends, though wonderful people, are an obstacle to that goal. They are drama kids, not terribly attractive physically; often like to hang out amongst themselves, going home early; I want to be out in public, rolling the dice as long as I can with a wid…
/r/seduction03/04/22 06:08 PM
0

the context is that i'm a drunken, frustrated manlet triggered by an accurate assessment of his mindset
/r/seduction03/04/22 11:19 AM
3

Confidence isn't a decision, rather it is a state of mind that is lost due to trauma and restored either by consistent success or being burned so many times that you simply don't care anymore. In my case, it's more like breaking a bad knee again each time that I fail. How could I be confident with that? I know to take everything like it's a learning experience and not as a deep personal evaluation, but the lesson seems to be that I fucking suck.
/r/seduction03/04/22 11:15 AM
25

Because I'm a dogshit person who doesn't appreciate the people he has. Because I'm a failure of a masculine man who can never measure up to the most average of others. Because I constantly derail my own interactions by slipping into my head because I have become traumatized by such a long and unrelenting thrall of failure. Because I lean on all the qualities I think are positive but really have nothing to do with getting the one thing I want and cannot have.
/r/seduction03/04/22 10:30 AM
1

She has an unusually wide jaw, but I wouldn't say it's off-putting.
/r/seduction02/04/22 04:16 PM
3

I'm a 22-year-old engineer living with his parents in rural SC Trust me, as someone who's lived in suburbia for pretty much the entirety of his 20's, this is your biggest problem right here. You lack opportunities and logistics in this living situation. As an engineer, you'll likely be able to change that before long. My options weren't great, but in any given week I'd be visiting a large city I could find a date or someone potentially interested in banging (before I dicked it up). Get the popul…
/r/seduction02/04/22 04:05 PM
8

What did the conversation look like, and what was the timing of your texts?
/r/seduction02/04/22 03:59 PM
2

the best, and only, true cold approach pickup i've ever had began with the question "when will i get a chance like this again" not "what if i fuck up"
/r/seduction02/04/22 07:27 AM
5

boost your damn self esteem and confidence lol so easy
/r/seduction02/04/22 07:25 AM
2

cries in wasting 20s in suburbia
/r/seduction02/04/22 07:19 AM
3

What if this was a fellow who smiles at you once in a while... Who you made small talk with, and found you had something in common with... And who can make you laugh, and is respectful... And then he hits on you?
/r/seduction02/04/22 06:28 AM
1

silicone heel raises and a pair of Dr marten boots This just feels like it'd be desperate as hell and i'm 5'6" and would consider height surgery if i could afford it
/r/seduction29/03/22 06:31 PM
-3

Bottom line, there is nothing you can do about your height There is, but you need tens of thousands of dollars and have to be willing to risk months of extremely painful recovery and potentially being crippled for the rest of your life. i'd still probably do it if i knew it'd be a crazy roi...
/r/seduction29/03/22 06:28 PM
3

things work for me when i'm not pushy/needy and i manage to be funny/witty/frame her as the pursuer and actually follow through on promising leads instead of freaking the fuck out and wondering how i'm going to dick it up that hasn't happened for a long time, and i imagine that's impacting me a lot more than my height
/r/seduction29/03/22 06:27 PM
7

this shit sounds 100% exhausting and not worth it i would know because i allowed myself to be led on for months by someone who flaked every time
/r/seduction29/03/22 06:25 PM
18

Stop caring what society thinks if it's legal. It's your life and your values. If you're treating your partners with decency, that's nobody's business but yours.
/r/seduction29/03/22 07:44 AM
1

It's all just normal conversation. Do cold reads. I broke into a mixed group of like eight the other night by just showing curiosity about their shirts (they're in a coed sports group) and asking how they ended up at the venue we're at. Even if you're not exactly dying to know who they are, showing a bit of interest in the surface level stuff and playing with it a bit (exaggerate about what life must be like, compare it to a funny but relatable experience, deliberately misinterpret, etc.) goes a…
/r/seduction29/03/22 07:18 AM
1

It's a reference to this movie. The scene is a satire of aggressive toxic-masculine assholes, but it still raises a good point - If you're not constantly on the grind with an aim toward progress then you cannot reasonably expect success.
/r/seduction28/03/22 11:30 PM
2

Always be closing
/r/seduction28/03/22 10:44 PM
5

I guess what I'm getting at is that the "real me" as I understand it would rather have just stayed in and played video games or surfed the internet all day, but this isn't attractive and once I learned more about the world I realized there were far better and more fulfilling things I could do. I think the concept of a "real you" is rather limiting of itself and that people can be quite a bit more flexible in their habits, personalities, and interests than they might otherwise realize.
/r/seduction28/03/22 10:40 PM
1

Translate the lyrics to "Despacito" and you'll start to get an idea. Always be escalating slowly, and if she wants you to slow down, take a step back before trying again. Be aware of her body language; if she freezes up or seems scared or stiff in any way, that is when you want to see how she's feeling verbally.
/r/seduction28/03/22 10:18 PM
30

I know that quality women want to date quality men. So therefore, if no quality girls seem to find me attractive, then I must be an loser. The thing is that humans are basically evolved to evaluate you quickly in a superficial, hunter-gatherer-on-the-savannah kind of way. What this means is that the emotions and creativity you are able to display to them in a short window suggest that what's beneath the surface is valuable. From this you can realize two things: That evaluation is not an accurate…
/r/seduction28/03/22 08:51 PM
7

I feel like that's super backstabby to the person you were fucking even if it's casual, it's like, "yeah I'm just using you to masturbate and don't find you attractive/nearly as attractive as this other person". Maybe I'm just reading too much into it
/r/seduction28/03/22 07:17 PM
8

The thing is, my core self was this broody, self-pitying, super serious incel type, and all the humor and absurdity I brought was a very successful mask that I wore to conceal this and try to get people to notice me. Neither side is attractive. Some of us have to strive toward some ideal with our behaviors even if they are not natural or authentic at first; we are what we do.
/r/seduction28/03/22 07:06 PM
1

lmao i only know its a problem because i don't do it either. i'd ask /u/CompetitionFair7686 , he appears very good at avoiding "straightforward" conversation and keeping things fun/flirty
/r/seduction28/03/22 06:52 PM
2

It was nice meeting you, or you're a nice guy. This sounds pretty textbook "I don't see you sexually." That doesn't mean you're ugly or unattractive necessarily, it might just mean you're not creating any sexual tension and she, being on the fence, falls to the side you don't want. no connection, nothing in common, no chemistry "No spark" is generally what my last paragraph says, but this suggests to me that your conversation doesn't build much of a connection or envision much of a fun future be…
/r/seduction28/03/22 06:05 PM
24

I don’t think what she said is a red flag That's because the flag is on fire
/r/seduction28/03/22 06:02 PM
2

Bud how can you say it's all about looks in one breath and then say you're fucking up despite your good looks in the next?
/r/seduction28/03/22 08:53 AM
1

Are there any fun introductions you remember?
/r/seduction28/03/22 01:49 AM
1

I would suggest having some jokes and/or genuine personal compliments or observations lined up, something to put some energy into the conversation. Just introducing yourself doesn't bring much to the table; like, you gotta give them a reason to want to talk to you. When people are out at the bar with their friends they're generally looking to relax or have fun, while a stranger injecting himself into the conversation could be a buzz kill if you're not bringing some fun or positive energy to it, …
/r/seduction26/03/22 04:28 PM
2

my question is how can I not be written off so easily? What kind of things are you saying when you approach these men and women? Do these go into conversations, and if so what about?
/r/seduction26/03/22 08:22 AM
0

Not everyone is you, bro. And thank god for that.
/r/seduction26/03/22 08:22 AM
4

Nah.
/r/seduction26/03/22 08:01 AM
3

What I got I response was a disgusting look from one and the other one said just replied NO. Don’t know what I was doing wrong here. Sometimes that's just the nature of the game, you're gonna get blown out or weird looks. In your case I wouldn't say you did anything wrong per se, but maybe you could try more personalized or contextual openers. Bring more value to the table up front.
/r/seduction25/03/22 11:39 PM
2

I’ve went high af on cocaine, I got laid. Once saw this beefy five foot ten Puerto Rican dude come into the club, dance with the hottest chick there for all of fifteen seconds before literally just leading her by the hand out of the bar. I didn't realize it at the time but later when he comes back and piles into the taxi our group is going to the next bar in he pulls out a fucking dime bag and asks if I want some. It was fucking incredible to see but I don't know if that's the price I want to pa…
/r/seduction25/03/22 11:30 PM
2

Tell him he isn't alone in struggling with essentially throwing away a "done deal." It doesn't make him worthless at all. Then that and maybe go down a checklist with him for when this sort of thing happens; leave notifications/vibrate on, set a timer if he doesn't feel comfortable texting back right away, keep his schedule open if he's expecting a booty call. Concrete plans always help once the "am I going to be okay/am I alone" side is taken care of.
/r/seduction25/03/22 11:11 PM
3

A woman can tell when a guy likes her, and if you spend weeks pretending that you are just only being "nice" Some guys are like that, but others are kind of like in that Star Slate Codex piece where they think "Surely if I am just my nice normal self that will be enough?" Not realizing that sexual assertiveness and flirting are the value that they are missing, which leads to frustration and eventually "nice guy" outbursts where they were in fact once genuinely nice if deeply confused about how e…
/r/seduction25/03/22 10:58 PM
3

I wrote that when my depression had kicked into full gear. Cognitive distortion is real and it's a bitch when your body decides today's the day to make you sit in a cloud of gloom or dwell on the pile of texts or glances you sent that got no replies. I'm doing a lot better now, and while I don't feel that way all the time, there is always this part of me that is afraid of fucking up, that magnifies every dead number, every grimace or averted gaze or sudden lapse in my speech; I focus on how ofte…
/r/seduction25/03/22 08:21 AM
3

Do you have any other variations? Would be super helpful. "Hmm. Can I trust you with my wall of Pokemon plushes"
/r/seduction25/03/22 12:59 AM
1

This is advice I should have taken years ago, yet my thirst keeps me sending that ping once in a while...
/r/seduction24/03/22 09:47 PM
4

Game is just another name for the social skills you use with people who you actually want to have sex with. It's a separate proposition entirely from just showing up and being a nice, normal person.
/r/seduction24/03/22 09:44 PM
2

I guess, and I'll try to keep this simple, I want the validation from attractive women. I get plenty from men, I get plenty from women I'm not attracted to, and in the moment, I'll feel like I've done something good, but all of that just dissolves the moment I want something more than I have. It all feels worthless, meaningless. I'm still the same creepy loser I've always been, no matter how much money I make or how much I develop my talents or how well I dress. I don't understand how validation…
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:37 AM
10

I have balls to escalate OK, but can you explain how this works to someone who's never done it before? The entire reason this exists is that people don't know the language of flirting and sexuality. They don't have internalized the idea of how to communicate that they are confident; not needy. That's all game is. Some people distill this down to techniques to the point of writing whole ass books but it's really just the things you didn't learn (or unlearning the things you should never have lear…
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:17 AM
0

If they really worked wouldnt every dude be getting some? No, because it's hard as fucking shit for some of us to actually understand how it works and put it into practice.
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:06 AM
4

Touch grass dude. I just came from a concert where I saw all kinds of normal to below average height and looks dudes who were with better looking women. Your looks aren't the problem and never were.
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:03 AM
2

This speaks to me. How you describe yourself in a state of despair before simply trying hard to push through it and accept your own feelings describes me now; this feeling that I must apologize for being in others' way or causing them to feel badly by simply existing or interacting with them. Rather than tell me to have some confidence I cannot begin to fathom is warranted as told by so many others espousing inner game here, you tell me to instead acknowledge that I have feelings of fear and low…
/r/seduction24/03/22 05:01 AM
1

Bars cafes imo are good for maybe one approach max. You'd be amazed, I know a really successful older guy who just grinds out every table every night he's at the bar
/r/seduction23/03/22 08:21 PM
1

now if i want to get laid with her, from where should i start ? /u/CompetitionFair7686
/r/seduction23/03/22 06:51 PM
1

talk like caveman fuck like caveman what bad?
/r/seduction23/03/22 06:08 PM
1

It's the "dae fluoridated water" combined with no actual white papers substantiating anything you're saying. People aren't going to eat new ideas up just because they're syntactically coherent, you have to provide evidence.
/r/seduction23/03/22 05:06 PM
3

Harley Quinn?
/r/seduction23/03/22 05:04 PM
1

No.
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:50 PM
2

Honestly? Not all that much recently. Four hours of walking yesterday, maybe dancing up to a sweat twice a week, just gotten back into lifting dumbbells two to three times a week. Why?
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:43 PM
11

I think what's getting me here is, the things others seem to value about me, and that I to an extent value about myself, are not things that are really all that valued in the context of attraction. And so when I keep failing and failing and failing at that, it's hard not to feel completely worthless at the one thing I want to finally get a grasp on Maybe the intensity with which I receive these failures, or the fixation I have on it, is neither normal nor healthy, and I'm going to therapy for it…
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:42 PM
7

This seems like a lot of unsubstantiated nonsense
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:38 PM
1

This is something I'm a bit iffy on to be honest, like if she's wearing some obviously relatable or distinct piece of clothing or jewelry I might open on that and make some kind of guess about what sort of person she is or what she likes based on that. A lot of girls will just not have anything distinct about their appearance, which is where some of the more experienced daygame guys here will probably just go with the generic direct opener. I personally haven't had the balls to try it.
/r/seduction23/03/22 03:25 PM
0

I'm not that good at the flirting part yet, which you'll definitely want to sprinkle into your dates/approaches, but I'm better at one on one conversation: Make inferences about her based on the information available to you. Where/how did you meet her? What does she think about the place you are both sitting/standing(/kneeling?/hanging?) What might her clothes, jewelry, tattoos say about her? Not to encourage stereotypes, but do her accent, ethnicity, family history suggest anything about her li…
/r/seduction23/03/22 01:12 PM
1

I'd encourage you to also try a diversity of other hobbies if you have time to fit them. This gives you more to talk about and potentially new/deeper connections within/between groups
/r/seduction23/03/22 09:26 AM
1

I try. Do you have any suggestions for kicking up cold interactions, or is it better to just let them go?
/r/seduction23/03/22 02:57 AM
1

I think my sticking point is, I come on way too strong and sudden on text, yet I also don't know how else to hold a conversation over it because there are too many different ways texts can be interpreted. This leaves me in one of three camps: Trying Too Hard, Boring, or Weird. What do? How are guys supposed to text, especially if there's less momentum after a few days?
/r/seduction23/03/22 02:10 AM
3

black tar copium
/r/seduction22/03/22 10:17 PM
1

Bro you are assuming that the good looking guy has no style or game which is very unrealistic. Actually it isn't. Many of them can start off as poorly groomed and/or fat and/or autistic (I don't mean that derogatorily, I was diagnosed aspie early in life) nerds which puts them at a major disadvantage
/r/seduction22/03/22 10:05 PM
5

Well, yes. Remember Seventeen magazine? Vogue? The endless dating advice columns and makeup tutorials online? Have you seen the girls asking questions here and on dating_advice? Yes, it is something that has to be taught! We aren't all perfectly programmed social creatures off of instinct. Culture and the expectations of others are something that arise outside of ourselves and consequently something that we come to learn, and that's okay.
/r/seduction22/03/22 05:31 PM
2

Why are you in this subreddit?
/r/seduction22/03/22 05:27 PM
2

My guy, you need to chill. If you put so many expectations on a woman you just met she's gonna Usain Bolt on your ass. No, it doesn't matter how well you think it's going. Trust me on this one, I've lived it. Take everything a day at a time and always be casting your net somewhere else.
/r/seduction22/03/22 05:09 PM
2

If the going theory here is right, bounce her to some local spots to have fun and get to know her better and float the idea of coming back to your place after. Less "what should he have said to her" and more "how could he have gotten more investment". The mentality of disappointment is perfectly understandable for a guy just starting out, but he has to remember that this kind of thing happens all the time and that little things like numbers or kino in the moment don't mean a thing by the time th…
/r/seduction22/03/22 05:05 PM
1

Most do, although wanting to know about this is at its root a form of insecurity that isn't solved until it hears impartial opinions (or sadly for some negative opinions that they believe are impartial just because they're negative)
/r/seduction22/03/22 04:38 PM
31

oh don't worry, we are
/r/seduction22/03/22 09:20 AM
8

Post pics in the brutally honest subreddits, if you really want to know if the issue is your appearance.
/r/seduction22/03/22 09:18 AM
1

I will. And if you ever offer coaching I'd be happy to try it out, assuming I can afford it 😁
/r/seduction22/03/22 09:00 AM
2

You warn them ahead of time
/r/seduction22/03/22 07:34 AM
6

That's true but he's doing it while in search of an answer, which I understand and find a lot more productive than the kind of guy who pops in here and is like "well if you're not six feet tall and have a broad jawline and giant muscles it's totally pointless"
/r/seduction22/03/22 04:04 AM
7

I never said too busy. I concede that, but - you can't fix the problem without uprooting the thought process. Isn't uprooting the thought process is kind of the point? Improvement is impossible without reflection.
/r/seduction22/03/22 03:40 AM
19

Why are you sitting down to think on it? ...You shouldn't analyze interactions with people, especially women. Why do we even have this subreddit then? We're disappointed with how our sex lives are going and want to examine the behaviors that either derail us or that get us closer to success. This pretense that our lives should be so busy and fulfilling that we don't even have time to think of how we might wind up accidentally having sex is so artificial and weird and quite frankly can do absolut…
/r/seduction22/03/22 03:10 AM
1

Have you ever had moments where you just brain fart even though you know you're capable of being perfectly "normal"? that's me on hunger, sleep deprivation, or being around new people. it's great!
/r/seduction21/03/22 10:30 PM
1

I appreciate your advice. My particular diagnoses and habits right now make it difficult to think of changing employers which is why I've been stuck in the same low pay for so long, but maybe it's time for me to adjust my attitude and take some risks.
/r/seduction21/03/22 10:24 PM
1

yeah it isn't personal it's just my autism breaking arguments up into pieces so i understand them better lol
/r/seduction21/03/22 10:22 PM
0

I see two things here: 1) Strauss is famous and that might contribute to his success, which you seem to be arguing against, which is fine given what you've pointed out... 2) But you also disagree the kind of fame he has would have contributed to his success once he achieved that fame, which I think is just silly!
/r/seduction21/03/22 10:12 PM
1

How in the world are you making 250k? I did close to a year's grind w/ bootcamp and projects and my starting was like 70 in a non-tech hub, it's 80something now eight years later but granted i'm not applying myself at all because I actually don't like what I do and there don't seem to be better options that wouldn't be more of the same, just for more hours of the day.
/r/seduction21/03/22 10:08 PM
1

After all, nobody would be silly enough to wait 15 minutes to craft the perfect response in real life. You'd be amazed what anxiety is capable of making you do...
/r/seduction21/03/22 07:05 PM
8

but a dude who write books Well, yes. Strauss was famous enough to be on Jimmy Kimmel.
/r/seduction21/03/22 06:58 PM
2

No offense but your career is lame Listen as much as I agree with the rest of your post it's not like people can or want to just up and switch career tracks. For me financial stability is more important than something that might vaguely improve my image but that either comes with a steep loss in income or requires a shitload of effort for not much in return. And if it did increase my income by like two orders of magnitude - which is probably about as much as I'd need it to do for it to be signif…
/r/seduction21/03/22 06:54 PM
1

what is then
/r/seduction21/03/22 07:32 AM
1

i'm hardly the one to ask, it's just something i've kind of started to understand by watching other guys, reading their material, and stuff that i've experimented with a little myself. I don't put it in practice enough but I know it's the right direction
/r/seduction21/03/22 06:05 AM
1

Rather than a book I'd recommend YouTube channels Athlean-X and Jeff Nippard for fitness. Just don't listen to any of my advice on fitness because i'm a fucking stick lol, the only gains I did make though was thanks to them and Scooby's Workshop which I think is a bit outdated
/r/seduction21/03/22 04:56 AM
2

Yeah I was replying to the guy saying IRL is no better. This dude I'm talking about was just the other night talking to four chicks at a table who were probably ten years younger than him and was on the dance floor making out with one of them. Guy had massive charisma and iron balls, that's really all you need
/r/seduction21/03/22 04:11 AM
5

Two things come to my mind: Innuendos and framing her as the pursuer. That's a complex way of saying: You say something that can very easily be interpreted sexually or, critically innocently. Or she says or does something that she might not have intended to be sexual, and you slyly mock call her out on it. The reverse can hold true where you point out how her mind is in the gutter if you say something you genuinely meant innocently. You playfully act like she is in some way dangerous or threaten…
/r/seduction21/03/22 04:08 AM
3

Dead wrong. The most successful guy I know is average in his face, on the bigger side, is in his mid to late 30s, and is the plainest dresser I know
/r/seduction21/03/22 03:25 AM
1

A particular sticking point I have is that I don't know where to take things to be fun. Like you give the OnlyFans foot picture examples, I've done random shit like that before where like Q. What did you do this weekend? A. Oh, you know, went on a safari, hunted endangered species But I don't know how to get myself in a mindset to do that consistently especially when anxious (which is a whole lot especially around women due to my past) and it's extra hard when there's not something specific abou…
/r/seduction21/03/22 01:54 AM
0

I am starting to feel like giving up as I am 25 years old and still a virgin due to not being able to successfully interact with women, in our post hookup culture age. but I'm looking for a specific type of girl, not just some random slut Do you see the contradiction here?
/r/seduction20/03/22 11:57 PM
1

This might not be enough for success with women. But for confidence it can help... I'm not sure why this helps some guys but not others. Maybe it is that some guys are satisfied with being accomplished, and perhaps feel worthy of sex and intimacy once they are. People like myself- the mentality that I am unworthy of it is deeply internalized and continually reinforced, and all the accolades that don't pertain to it are -- though far from meaningless -- irrelevant to solving that internalized tra…
/r/seduction20/03/22 11:50 PM
3

Please tell me you at least rinsed your mouth first lmao. Always jealous of your success 😁
/r/seduction20/03/22 11:38 PM
1

Here's the thing. You can be high value on paper, but if you have a dogshit personality you will fail. I'm speaking from experience. It doesn't matter one bit that you're model-gorgeous if your complete lack of social calibration or self-confidence repels women, and believe me, it does. The number of grimaces and discomfited shifts in body language and dead texts and nervous laughs I've received over the years are so many scars on my fragile-ass ego. I guaran-fucking-tee unless most incels have …
/r/seduction20/03/22 02:31 PM
8

This isn't the only way to gain confidence, and it might not be for everyone. I'm a karaoke junkie. Like, four nights a week sometimes. I've gotten pretty damn good at it -- not just singing, but stage presence. Depending on the venue and the song, I can get most of the bar into it. I'm also told, and feel, that I dress well. But the reality is, no matter how good I am on stage, no matter how many people notice and appreciate me for that, unless I were to somehow exceed my genetic talents, it is…
/r/seduction20/03/22 01:21 PM
2

How's your kino?
/r/seduction20/03/22 01:15 PM
7

I have started to actively pursue women but got rejected 3 times in one week Let me tell you, if your expectation is to break a 5% success rate with cold approaches you are going to be sorely disappointed. I'm a self-sabotaging social moron, so I might be a bit biased, but you have to accept that you're going to get rejected a lot and that it's part of the game and you shouldn't use those rejections to judge your worth. The main trap I think we guys fall into is that with these rejections, being…
/r/seduction20/03/22 01:08 PM
3

I'm a guy, but I find if I don't text someone back it's usually because I get distracted by something and then by the time the moment passes there seem to be fewer appropriate responses; OR responding to what was sent requires too much explanation/discussion to be suitable for texting. I imagine this is not too different for women. This is why the current meta here seems to be "text to set shit up or send occasional memes"
/r/seduction20/03/22 12:57 PM
5

Do literally anything but this OP
/r/seduction20/03/22 12:54 PM
1

Not OP, but I find that my time lifting dumbbells at home does little for my physique especially since I can't force myself to eat more than like 1500 calories in a day
/r/seduction20/03/22 12:54 PM
7

Then maybe you shouldn't be giving advice to people you don't understand?
/r/seduction20/03/22 11:46 AM
2

Plus it is 2022 everyone should have a decent social media. Fuck that. I don't owe the world a fucking portfolio of how I want them to think of me.
/r/seduction24/02/22 08:06 AM
1

I’m making the mistake of judging my worth based off of how many women I am currently talking to on these apps Yes, absolutely. Read my reply below. Tinder is a measure of how good you are at three specific things. It isn't, and shouldn't, be thought of as a yardstick for your worth as a person.
/r/seduction23/02/22 07:02 PM
4

If you aren’t successful on these apps then that means you are missing something in terms of looks, vibe, status. That's only true up to a point. A person can completely fail to convey their actual value as a potential friend or mate on an app but be socially more or less fine in the real world. In the real world you are not asked to photograph yourself 100% perfectly and showcase your life before you approach anyone. You are not expected to have an elevator speech that sums up your approach to …
/r/seduction23/02/22 07:00 PM
1

To tell you the truth, I don't know. I'm not really sure how to handle other guys, especially being physically small myself. The only thing I've gleaned from being here is not to react explosively or with strong emotion since that shows insecurity and weakness. This changes a bit if he touches you or, as you say, gets all up on her when she is apparently uncomfortable, but I'd still resort to keeping things civil and having bar staff handle things first.
/r/seduction23/02/22 06:49 PM
1

prime reference in your username
/r/seduction23/02/22 06:24 PM
1

Don't be afraid to have a civilized discussion about beliefs. She in particular seems like she might not be mature enough for that, but if you find yourself in a similar situation I find it garners respect to try to understand their position while also being able to coherently explain your own position and how you arrived at it. Dating should always be fun foremost, but sometimes it's okay to press the pause button when you have investment.
/r/seduction23/02/22 06:20 PM
4

the absolute salt in these downvotes
/r/seduction23/02/22 09:07 AM
1

I absolutely loathe cardio. Is there a way to not hate it?
/r/seduction23/02/22 08:23 AM
10

People keep saying this, but the truth of the matter is that social skills with women are the one sphere of my life I've never nailed down, even as I broaden my knowledge of the world and develop new skills that interest me. And because I fail so consistently in this sphere, it creates this feedback loop where I guarantee my own failure by being afraid of failing. This "work on yourself" advice might be helpful for some, but it will not work for everyone.
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:44 PM
5

I'm reading your argument that men need to be superhuman to be dateable. Maybe that's a misreading, but if it isn't then on what are you basing it?
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:39 PM
2

Okay, but what's going on is more like "this baker's bread was bad, all bakeries i've been to in my town suck, therefore bakers and bread suck"
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:23 PM
1

I think it's healthy to express frustration about what you personally have been seeing (as opposed to echoing incels), but it becomes toxic when it's used as an excuse to avoid pursuing something you want because such experiences can't be universally generalized. I agree with you.
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:22 PM
3

How do you know? He's been to those places and talked to those women. Have you? Granted, again, it's a generalization based on limited experience, but saying that it's not true has no basis in the evidence, correct?
/r/seduction22/02/22 05:20 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/seduction27/12/21 07:33 PM
1

I know a guy who became a flight attendant and meets women all the time
/r/seduction27/12/21 10:35 AM
1

This is 100% me on online dating to the point that I gave up on it years ago. Do you have any examples of good profiles/convo starters?
/r/seduction27/12/21 10:31 AM
10

happy without sex This is such a weird idea. Only in the modern age would we think that a fundamental biological drive is something that should be viewed as a "bonus". More, I think this leads to the dangerous advice to "just work on yourself bro" while completely avoiding actual approaches and practicing dating specific social skills.
/r/seduction22/12/21 01:54 AM
5

I've creeped women out just by smiling at them Is your smile genuine (and does it look like how most people expect a genuine smile to look)? How do you know that you're creeping them out, and that they're not just naturally wary of strangers?
/r/seduction22/12/21 01:52 AM
56

Touch. Lightly touching to make a point or imply that you're kidding/laughing about something, high fiving, pulling in to take selfies, examining jewelry, clothes, or tattoos (if you're genuinely interested in them! don't be weird), hugging, the list of ways to do this without being a creep is endless. Playfully "pushing" her, that is, obviously faking giving her a hard time for stuff, sort of like the way siblings are a pain in the ass to one another. This can also sometimes be a gentle physica…
/r/seduction20/12/21 02:03 AM
1

That's not the narrative that gets used at all on Reddit... People say the amount of sex you have doesn't matter. Obviously this is coming from people who have had plenty of sex... but they don't see you as an underdog. Yeah, for the most part you're right. The "cel" narrative is often dismissed out of hand, because often times the "inability to get a partner" is actually the "inability to get the partner you want", and is usually followed up by some variation of "because your personality sucks"…
/r/seduction19/12/21 11:54 PM
1

Look at the narrative you're creating here. "I will keep failing. I will always fail. I am miserable in my failure." People appreciate underdogs. You know what underdogs are? They're losers. They've lost a lot. But the truth is, nobody else cares if you're a loser. It doesn't matter. Lots of people lose at lots of things, and I bet you don't look down on them for it; in fact, you might admire some of them for their endless struggle. And many other people, the people worth being around, appreciat…
/r/seduction19/12/21 08:40 PM
2

You're not hearing what I'm saying. You are defining your self-worth by whether or not you reach certain milestones, rather than by your dedication to and the enjoyment of your progress toward perhaps achieving that goal. Because seduction is so reliant on not doing that, you are setting yourself up for failure. You have to accept that you may have to fail a hundred, a thousand, two thousand times before you start to see progress, and know that this failure does not define your worth as a person…
/r/seduction19/12/21 07:56 PM
0

I had this realization in another comment, and it is the same logic we use to deny gratification now in hopes of satisfaction later, like going to school or training for sports or games. By assuring ourselves that we are learning the skills we need - which we can do by practicing often and getting feedback on that practice - we get one step closer to learning what does work and learning what doesn't, and using it to refine our craft, be that art, be that science, be that literally just talking t…
/r/seduction19/12/21 07:41 PM
1

He isn't asking what he needs to do, he's asking if his outcomes are the result of his constant moving around. It could just be anxiety and/or the fact that he's still very young and women are unsure if they want to just hook up. If he asked a more specific question I'm sure there are guys with better answers than I could provide.
/r/seduction19/12/21 07:35 PM
2

There's no need to rush, in fact, that's going to make sure it all takes longer. Just chill out, make your approaches, farm numbers, invite girls out to shit. Eventually it will happen if you're clear about your intentions.
/r/seduction19/12/21 07:10 AM
1

I truly don't feel like I'm the shit though, I'm just another guy. How could I possibly feel the way you do?
/r/seduction19/12/21 04:26 AM
1

There might be a few explanations here. Women might feel intimidated by your appearance or level of put-togetherness, or think there is too much effort put into your bio. It's the same logic behind why trying too hard when you're talking to women turns them off. Simply by having a niche interest and putting it out there, your friend is selecting hard for the few women that are interested in it. His location might provide him with a far larger pool to swipe through, which I'm insinuating from you…
/r/seduction18/12/21 12:49 PM
1

I don't remember what that feels like.
/r/seduction18/12/21 04:22 AM
2

I also find it a bit messed up to be honest, open, and vulnerable with someone and open your heart to her, but then just use her as a one night stand. That might actually mess some people up. I would assume that if you're being forthright in this situation there is no "use" as it were that was not both consensual and fully understood.
/r/seduction18/12/21 04:14 AM
3

What in the book did you apply to your own life? Have you sought others' feedback on the changes that you made?
/r/seduction18/12/21 04:13 AM
1

What are the differences between you and him? What profile and picture differences are there between you?
/r/seduction18/12/21 03:39 AM
3

If lack of a filter (or filtering things that would otherwise find me success) is part of the reason I can't get laid, then doesn't it make sense to try and modify the core behaviors?
/r/seduction17/12/21 08:13 PM
3

I think you're actually agreeing with him. He's saying we have this picture of clubs in our minds as being loud obnoxious drunk places where you have to push past others' aggression and physicality and defensiveness, but focusing on the competitive and obnoxious aspect doesn't serve us. And then there are a ton of nightlife places that don't fit this description to begin with. Now granted, I think this sort of logic taken to its extreme ("any situation!") would suggest something like finding the…
/r/seduction17/12/21 04:35 PM
1

expressing such a holier-than-thou attitude about hookups in general since those are fairly out of reach for him at this point in his life Really? I'm 32 and I'm struggling, but I'm hoping that it's not too late to explore this. I'm definitely not cut out for marriage or relationships.
/r/seduction16/12/21 09:39 PM
7

Christ, "service class?" What is this, a fucking caste system?
/r/seduction16/12/21 03:32 PM
2

I stopped sleeping with an alarm and am very fortunate to have a job that is somewhat tolerant of wild sleep schedule swings. The downside is, lack of consistency makes it difficult to keep plans and go out some nights or find activities during the day. And any time my sleep is cut short, I can experience precipitous depression and/or social anxiety. So no alarms is good, but consistency is also good.
/r/seduction16/12/21 03:21 PM
2

The nice thing about being a low self-esteem overthinker is being able to dissect all the mistakes you make and apply those lessons to things after the fact, then repeat all of those mistakes because you're anxious because you made mistakes
/r/seduction16/12/21 12:29 AM
1

How much are you using your hands and your body to try and escalate when you make out?
/r/seduction16/12/21 12:11 AM
2

I don't think he's saying that to flex as much as he is to try to qualify what he's saying. Like "you have ligma. trust me, i'm a doctor"
/r/seduction15/12/21 11:42 PM
12

Let's translate some subcomms here: "Hey miss you know the ball is supposed to go over the net right? Thats the point of the game!" "Hey Allie (I'm just making up names), you know me. :) I'm giving you a hard time because we're friends and I'm trying to make your day better by acknowledging you" 👍 "Hey those pants are really nice, where did you get them? I need to buy my mom a christmas present" "Hey stranger who doesn't know me. I'm staring at your ass. I might also be accosting you for help wi…
/r/seduction15/12/21 09:57 PM
1

I lost my virginity at 24 and could barely get it up, probably because of beer and nerves. But I didn't freak the fuck out, and she appreciated that. Be honest. A good woman won't care.
/r/seduction15/12/21 08:33 PM
1

I spent too much of my life introspecting and thinking about purpose, I no longer want to burden myself with it.
/r/seduction15/12/21 06:25 PM
2

My comment was more of a tangent. Very few people are actually boring. But, finding what makes them interesting takes effort on the part of strangers such that they are (usually) not willing to sift to find when there are others more immediately available who are ready to relate to something they think about a lot and are very familiar with. Unless you have some crazy grizzled bear-man appearance it might not be immediately obvious that you have been on the adventures you have, and you're not li…
/r/seduction15/12/21 09:01 AM
1

You do you buddy
/r/seduction15/12/21 08:48 AM
1

i have read (and found it to be true) that the other side of this coin is that if your life is a shambles, failure or insufficient success will hurt that much more when you try to meet new people
/r/seduction14/12/21 11:46 PM
2

snap has been around since 2011 and people of all ages use it i really don't get why some people look at it like this i mean yeah the dog filter is juvenile but i'm assuming he's not sending those
/r/seduction14/12/21 11:43 PM
2

this but unironically
/r/seduction14/12/21 11:37 PM
1

I'm definitely salty about the axiom that hard work to the complete exclusion of socializing somehow yields success with friends and women -- because it doesn't -- but I sort of see the idea that finding serious drive, motivation toward a thing builds confidence in oneself and is attractive generally. But that was not how he phrased it
/r/seduction14/12/21 11:21 PM
1

how
/r/seduction14/12/21 11:17 PM
2

The main thing is that you can't form even an ephemeral relationship if you have nothing to relate with. If you don't watch sports, you can't really talk to people at a sports bar. If you don't listen to music, you might not have much to say to people at concerts. If you don't choose to socialize with people generally, you might be offput by the idea of approach and banter. So yes, there is a certain amount of conformation. But that is life generally; you must conform to the system in which you …
/r/seduction14/12/21 10:20 PM
3

That's so vague
/r/seduction14/12/21 10:10 PM
1

Know a guy who's 40something and looks like hes in his 30s. Had a couple of college girls ask if they could sit in his lap. Shit was wild
/r/seduction14/12/21 03:52 PM
1

I mean, if you really don't care about sex or relationships that's cool I guess but then why post it in a subreddit about trying to improve at those things
/r/seduction13/12/21 09:20 PM
66

Must break eggs to make omelette
/r/seduction13/12/21 03:04 PM
1

I have friends of a few years now that I found through a common interest. Those seem to stick around longer because you attend the same places naturally for a while, letting them get comfortable with you and know in what situations they'd like you along. Without that connection and regularity I think it's more difficult to retain friends, even if you make easy acquaintances and have a decent conversation the first time through. There are exceptions, but they're usually based on deeply polarizing…
/r/seduction12/12/21 07:31 PM
1

I have little to no interest in having a female friend Why?
/r/seduction12/12/21 07:13 PM
1

That's bang on. If you're simping and have no interest in the girl as a person then you get exactly what you deserve, which is nothing.
/r/seduction12/12/21 03:54 PM
1

It’s not your job to be on her side or become her emotional tampon. I think this term is deeply damaging and counterproductive. You shouldn't carry a woman's emotional baggage for the purpose of getting laid. You should support her if you want to, and feel that she is your friend. That isn't mutually exclusive with trying to flirt and escalate although it is probably arguable the two should not be attempted at the same time
/r/seduction12/12/21 03:48 PM
1

I'm perfectly willing to admit that. I don't feel any sense of achievement or accomplishment from anything else I do.
/r/seduction12/12/21 03:42 PM
1

That's what I mean by "taken advantage of"
/r/seduction12/12/21 03:36 PM
1

If she actually likes you, she won't ask for or expect a penny. By the same token, if I actually like her I might give of my own accord. Anyone paying because they think they have to or that it is the proper thing to do or that they do it "because they can" has been taken advantage of
/r/seduction12/12/21 02:43 PM
1

anxiety accumulated from puberty onwards
/r/seduction12/12/21 02:17 PM
3

The Book of Pook: Pook (Book) Thank you for clearing this up
/r/seduction12/12/21 02:15 PM
1

What does "for myself" mean though? It doesn't really benefit me to be muscular past a certain point except in the context of wanting to be desired in part for how I look.
/r/seduction12/12/21 02:06 PM
42

When I was in college, I took a girl out to a frat party. We had a great time, she escalated on me, and we were heading back with her friends to the dorms. I walked her to her dorm and left her there -- I had been sick and didn't want to run the risk of giving it to her. She took it at first as a rejection. And then she realized I was sexually naive, inexperienced, and that I was under the false belief that I needed to make a show of being a good person, and dumped my ass. If you're into her and…
/r/seduction12/12/21 01:43 PM
6

I mean, I guess I've just been seeing the advice to "Just work on yourself and they'll come" my whole life, but time and again I know I've not pulled because my game fucking sucks and not because I only make five figures. An extra zero or two would not change my social skills, neither would curing disadvantaged animal poverty AIDS. But different strokes.
/r/seduction12/12/21 01:33 PM
2

Just never flirt and don't ever broach the topic of sex. Make sure to vent all your deepest frustrations and entitlements. Source: not losing my virginity until 24
/r/seduction12/12/21 01:27 PM
1

My objection is Fuck Facebook
/r/seduction12/12/21 09:31 AM
1

Also, if you don't mind: whole food stores, on the street, maybe even at Starbucks If there's not really anything distinct about them other than their beauty, what do you usually open with? I see plenty of women that are fairly well put together and nice looking, but I rarely find a good contextual opener that's actually fun and leads to more than small talk.
/r/seduction12/12/21 08:53 AM
9

That isn't true
/r/seduction12/12/21 08:40 AM
1

I don't really know where to find these people to style you. I would literally just find like different types of jackets or shirts you want to wear depending on the setting or level of formality and google an outfit. If you have women friends run those outfits by them
/r/seduction12/12/21 08:14 AM
1

my sleep is fucked up dont worry about it
/r/seduction10/12/21 08:01 PM
2

You could be the pinnacle of desirable men. There will still always be someone before or after you. But you are not, and that doesn't matter; because by definition she is choosing you when she is with you. it's okay i literally can't understand what im typing right now
/r/seduction10/12/21 07:46 PM
2

Frame your approaches and interactions to yourself as progress toward what you want (intimacy), with the knowledge that each learning experience, each new connection leads in some small way toward that outcome. Then the small successes, the friendships and interactions you have along the way become satisfying enough for the time being -- because they give you the knowledge that eventually you will succeed, and you will not always feel fixated on what you are missing in the moment. It will be you…
/r/seduction10/12/21 05:58 PM
3

I feel like my replacement is just around the corner. He was and he is. Part of the game is accepting that you are Mr. Right Now, and that it's totally okay to not be the fucking protagonist. And if it turns out you are, well, hey, even better right?
/r/seduction10/12/21 05:35 PM
2

Naw, I downloaded her from the internet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDwVHKWef2I
/r/seduction10/12/21 02:10 PM
2

Well, the latter way of saying it seems more constructive and detailed and specific to your experience, therefore more helpful. Maybe some of the commenters here have a better time with hiking. So the opinion is valid for you, but I would share the rationale behind it understanding that others will chime in if they have a different experience -- it's more what you've seen and why than a hard and fast rule for everyone. Yeah no big deal just my two cents arguing on arguing
/r/seduction10/12/21 02:03 PM
1

can I dm you?
/r/seduction10/12/21 05:43 AM
2

I mean, you're talking to someone who grew up with a mild form of autism, actively avoided socializing until high school, and basically lived under a rock until college. Yes, everyone you're talking to is an individual. Their preferences and expectatations will all be different to varying degrees, but we co-evolved as a species/culture to have a similar range of likes and expectations. So there is always actionable advice depending on the social context you want to apply it. I fully believe that…
/r/seduction10/12/21 04:20 AM
11

Right. No amount of confidence in your non-dating life is going to make you better at flirting.
/r/seduction10/12/21 03:29 AM
2

You know, having gotten to this point, it might not be strictly necessary to have people be attracted to me, but I've found that it helps. Though the truth is, if it weren't for feeling like I needed to attract others, I would never have changed to begin with and would have been comfortable wearing baggy jeans and old t-shirts. I would never have learned to become comfortable on a stage or approach others. I think the important thing isn't so much that you don't do things to impress or attract o…
/r/seduction10/12/21 03:25 AM
7

This is 100% true. Guys, no matter how much you think you have in common with a girl, no matter how much you think alike or what major formative experiences you've both had, no matter how much fun you've had on the one or two or three or twenty dates you've been on, DO NOT FREAK OUT AND THINK/ACT LIKE SHE IS THE ONE. Keep it light, keep it fun. Don't ruin a potential relationship like I did by falling hard and fast.
/r/seduction10/12/21 03:16 AM
3

I've worked on this for ages, not just for you, but also so I can remember these real-world examples for myself and maybe have others look at it in the future. Read this guy's comments first. Learn to be genuinely curious about and fun with everyone you can. Make that mindset a habit. Ask lots of questions (or better yet, make playful assumptions/exaggerations) and listen and remember carefully, identifying the emotions behind what motivates them as well as what you find interesting or amusing. …
/r/seduction09/12/21 09:56 AM
2

Remember, you're just out to chat and have fun a bit with passerby with some banter or compliments or improv or flirting. It's okay if that lasts five seconds, it's okay if it ends up lasting the rest of your life. No pressure or expectations always is the way to go.
/r/seduction09/12/21 04:53 AM
11

You can’t get away with a lack of ambition and direction. It is incredibly desirable to have a purpose, to know what you want. I know women hate it when guys are indecisive generally, but I really think this whole "know your life purpose/direction!" thing is incredibly overrated. People can barely figure out what they want for breakfast and we're supposed to know absolutely what we want to do with our lives and how we're going to get there?
/r/seduction08/12/21 10:04 PM
1

Being too emotionally invested early on and not sexually assertive enough got me rejected by someone I quickly developed feelings for in college. Then later in my life, I overcorrected. Being neglectful and "brutally" honest about how I felt about a girl I dated really hurt her. What did I learn from this? Save the cheesy romantic lines and tearful sentiments for pop songs and Lifetime specials. Deep romantic relationships form organically from nearly always keeping things light and fun, from a …
/r/seduction08/12/21 09:56 PM
5

When you simply don't worry about emotional investment and just take people out for a good time
/r/seduction08/12/21 08:50 PM
3

This is not how it works
/r/seduction08/12/21 07:03 PM
1

I have a tendency to ramble sometimes too. I think it would help you to focus on being concise and zeroing in on the positive emotion/idea you're trying to convey. Then either ask a question related to that or make an inference about her.
/r/seduction08/12/21 03:48 AM
1

Bro just ask her if she wants to go do a specific fun thing at a specific time with you. When you're out there flirt with her. Suggest splitting a bottle of some kind at your place or hers after if it's going well. If she says no to any of those just find someone else
/r/seduction08/12/21 03:37 AM
4

Hey, maybe you're right. There are plenty of situations here too where just stopping on the street doesn't really work, usually in big cities where everyone has someplace to go and is in a hurry. I think you can find some places you can approach though, be it pubs or social hobbies.
/r/seduction08/12/21 03:05 AM
2

Yeah have fun man! Just remember you don't need to try when you do this, just throw it out there if it comes to mind and if you're having fun with it. I sometimes still make the mistake of trying too hard to entertain other people when really I should just do something if I find it fun and I think they will too. It's kinda like garlic powder, you want a bit of it to make the main course (just vibing and having conversations) more interesting. You only dump the whole thing on there if you're actu…
/r/seduction08/12/21 02:54 AM
11

Smile at them, relax, and introduce yourself. That's the only way to know, right?
/r/seduction08/12/21 02:52 AM
2

Banter is kind of improv, right? You just sort of go with the act that's being put on. In the first example you could agree with either of the guys with an obviously tongue in cheek exaggeration. "oh yeah the other day I saw her walking out of a seedy hotel and she dropped a suitcase full of cocaine" "bro jeremy you need to upgrade her from paper bags for her face, how long have you guys been married?" Long ago I was working a shift in a clothing store. A guy is impatiently waiting for his gf/wi…
/r/seduction08/12/21 02:07 AM
1

Here's the truth. I lived in the bay area in a converted cathouse, a dorm crammed several bunks to tiny $2000 rooms. The street stank of piss and gasoline, there were crackheads walking around and long lines of homeless to the church. One time I was walking through Tenderloin and this old lady walks out of her house and spills cocaine all over the ground. But let me tell you, the girl who worked behind the bar in 50 Mason was one of the most beautiful I've ever seen in my life, and that was almo…
/r/seduction08/12/21 01:36 AM
1

I feel so paralyzed with this. What is worth sharing and how do I share it? It seems like all the rules for normal conversation are off the table because people zone out if you write more than a sentence or two. Any more I just attempt banter and brief invitations. I rarely try to do any kind of deep or even just multi sentence casual conversation at all because I've been left on read so many times.
/r/seduction07/12/21 03:12 PM
7

I feel like you're avoiding ever having to be vulnerable by telling yourself women aren't worth it and only ever truly desire model level/hypermasculine men to begin with. My real world experience tells me that is flat out just not the truth. people are individuals, their personalities, preferences, and choices can't be distilled down to a few cherry-picked and inherently limited behavioral studies. too many times i've seen guys pull women much hotter than themselves by just being all around awe…
/r/seduction06/12/21 11:26 PM
4

that's rich coming from mr reeee i'm not looksmaxed here's a blackpill so you can be as miserable as i am
/r/seduction06/12/21 11:05 PM
1

If you have a lot of bad reference experiences, it's super hard to shake the feeling that there's something wrong with you even if there's actually very little wrong with you.
/r/seduction06/12/21 09:52 PM
1

I'm still a novice, but here's my take. You're in a pretty good position to approach since she's probably seen you all the time and knows you have rapport with others. I like your "I see you all the time" opener. I also like Woujo's advice of respecting boundaries, acknowledging that she's busy with her workout, but a quick chat with a bit of humor about what you/her are training for/goals is harmless. Don't be afraid to bail after just a brief conversation if it's not going much of anywhere yet…
/r/seduction06/12/21 08:57 PM
2

This is some of the best advice I have ever been given. Approach other people to talk to them first. Then act like approaching her is the most natural and unimposing thing in the world, because it isn't an act, you do it all the time. You have an interest, but not an agenda.
/r/seduction06/12/21 07:59 PM
1

Because you never do it with anyone else.
/r/seduction06/12/21 07:50 PM
1

I'm AGREEING with you!
/r/seduction06/12/21 07:13 PM
2

I know this pretty redhead that went for a balding pasty chubby white guy specifically because he was bald and they had something in common. Don't sell yourself short.
/r/seduction06/12/21 07:05 PM
1

That's what I'm saying. Kino is considered a cornerstone here but it's somehow weird to hug someone you had a great connection with for half an hour+?
/r/seduction06/12/21 07:03 PM
9

I don't know what to tell you bud, sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder
/r/seduction06/12/21 06:59 PM
7

Sure, if you're hanging around the tent cities. When I was there in 2014 all you have to do is walk through FiDi or hang out at some of the clubs/karaoke bars and you'll find the lookers. Its like Seattle, if all you're doing is fixating on the bad you'll never take the time to notice the good
/r/seduction06/12/21 06:56 PM
8

ran into so many women who looked like they were straight out of San Francisco. My man, you have not seen some of the women from San Francisco.
/r/seduction06/12/21 06:46 PM
1

lol what? i could see like the whole sheeeee's aaaa beauuuuuuutifuuul mooooodel thing tipping you off but a hug?
/r/seduction06/12/21 06:43 PM
5

This happened to me and it was one of the single most painful experiences of my life
/r/seduction06/12/21 06:29 PM
5

I've written texts like these. Recently, even. One thing I can tell you is that there is a great deal of (understandable) frustration coming through this text, and although I know as well as you that it would all evaporate if people would Just Fucking Come Out, it makes them want to avoid us like the plague. I agree with the others that stripping all the negative emotions out of the text and just being short/straight to the point is the way to go.
/r/seduction06/12/21 04:27 PM
12

This is so fucking right. I had known from the time I was in college that no amount of life vision was going to solve the problem I had, which is that I was behind socially and didn't understand how to talk to women. Yet time and again the received wisdom was "focus on you and she will come along." Sure, and then you spill your cringe and she walks right on by. There's no substitute for practice.
/r/seduction06/12/21 04:04 PM
3

Are you smiling much? Telling jokes? Trying too hard to show warmth, or not enough? Is your body language stiff, or fluid and open? Without seeing your interactions, it's impossible to tell. If you want honest opinions on your appearance, I'd say post in /r/rateme or /r/truerateme (although they tend to stick to the average scale, so expect something close to 5 unless you're god-model-tier). One thing I can tell you from experience is that your facial aesthetics are not nearly as important as yo…
/r/seduction06/12/21 09:38 AM
17

They could just be nervous around you and look away. You might think at first they're unfriendly but the truth is women will talk to even a very average dude as long as he's warm and disarming - which if they're intimidated by you is a very good way to make them comfortable. This is why you can't depend on a lack of active interest/body language as discouraging an approach (unless she's very obviously busy, is signalling concentration/wanting to be left alone, like headphones in, or is in a hurr…
/r/seduction06/12/21 03:04 AM
12

Hey, holding your frame is great. You shouldn't become someone else just to please other people. At the same time, it's not compromising yourself to try being more open-minded to some ideas or types of clothing. I was under the impression that white sneakers were kind of dad shoes, so I was really surprised to find that white minimalist sneakers actually pull together some outfits really well. What you have right now is not a "fashion" but "style". Fashion, as you said, is more keeping up with c…
/r/seduction05/12/21 10:40 PM
9

what
/r/seduction04/12/21 09:03 PM
6

oh fuck off
/r/seduction04/12/21 08:36 PM
3

I used to wear my heart on my sleeve and got burned so, so many times for it. It isn't worth it, in my mind. "Hiding" emotions is one thing, not letting them run off the chain is another. I think some control is appropriate.
/r/seduction03/12/21 10:47 PM
1

Anxiety.
/r/seduction03/12/21 10:45 PM
1

What I read from this is "don't stagnate in jobs. also, do not make another person the center of your universe before focusing on your passions first, maybe commodifying them if you want." The last part seems like an odd aside but it didn't seem prescriptive to me
/r/seduction03/12/21 10:43 PM
0

women are born with theirs Value is dependent on context. If you're talking about how "valuable" a person is on say, the job market or for general social respect and the boons a person is able to bring to others, that is completely not inherent to which sex the person is. I'm sure that was not your suggestion. You're probably talking instead about SMV, but even this would depend on the actions a person decides to take. Women can benefit from regular exercise and thoughtful eating habits just lik…
/r/seduction03/12/21 10:40 PM
5

I can’t even bring myself to fucking smile. This is stupid as hell, but when I was learning how to not be a depressed sadsack all the time I would practice by looking in the mirror thinking of something really dumb that I found funny. Make sure you're smiling with the eyes and the cheekbones and not just your teeth. If you can develop the habit of doing that slightly shortly after making that eye contact, only people in a bad mood will outright reject you without getting to know you at least a l…
/r/seduction03/12/21 04:00 AM
2

I don't think it really works like this despite how often people tout inner game. At least for me anxiety is not caused (at least largely) not by the quality of my life outside of women but by my history of interactions with them. They do, after all, have something I cannot provide for myself by definition
/r/seduction03/12/21 03:51 AM
2

Weirdly enough, I managed to get a girl's number wearing a mask the entire time, and she's been texting back (but we'll see). I was even the only non-staff in the place wearing a mask due to having recently been sick. My vibe wasn't even that crazy good, it was pretty average and the only thing we had in common was liking to go to live music and dancing.
/r/seduction02/12/21 07:29 PM
1

I know this dude who asks every single woman in the groups he approaches if they're single. He doesn't waste his or their time.
/r/seduction02/12/21 06:21 PM
1

he goes try hard and say something absolutely ridiculous because he read it on the forum somewhere. slowly raises hand
/r/seduction02/12/21 05:24 PM
1

Impossible to know without seeing the body language.
/r/seduction30/11/21 11:24 PM
7

I think he means deliberately being a bit reserved with your emotions and communication
/r/seduction29/11/21 07:13 PM
34

That's just not true though. Social anxiety can be created through trauma and is self-reinforcing. I believe, I internalize, that I'm dope and I do dope shit, but I really, really suck at expressing that to new people. My social skills with strangers are all over the place and my anxiety causes me to blurt or repeat mistakes that I should already know not to make. That comes from a history of failures specific to interacting with women.
/r/seduction29/11/21 06:47 PM
1

Maybe breadcrumbing would help? You dangle some really interesting bits of the story as you go, and you go light on exposition of certain details unless it's really, really important - Rambling tends to come from trying to get people to understand context that may not be that important. For example, I have a story about Homicidal Farter Girl...
/r/seduction29/11/21 06:21 PM
2

You’re just not what they think they are looking for based on a short and extremely incomplete assessment of you I think it's important to also remember that first impressions are marketing, not the actual product. I've long felt and often feel like shit based solely on the impression I think I leave on others, yet looking at this sentence shows how irrational and ridiculous that is.
/r/seduction29/11/21 08:00 AM
6

This is bad, I shouldn't be in this mindset, SHE should be in this mindset, she needs to be wondering about where I stand, I her to be thinking about ME constantly. If it's unhealthy for you to obsess over someone you barely know, then isn't it unhealthy to hope that she does so?
/r/seduction29/11/21 07:50 AM
1

You think she's lying about having a lot of schoolwork and long shifts? Why? It seems like you're just assuming this about this girl for no reason at all.
/r/seduction29/11/21 07:19 AM
1

But that's what he said. He implied that he had an active lifestyle and that he was more or less leading a life he was reasonably content with outside of romance.
/r/seduction29/11/21 05:54 AM
1

Sure Brain, but what does the North African Theatre have to do with picking up girls from the club?
/r/seduction29/11/21 05:51 AM
1

Disclaimer: I'm no seducer yet and really struggle with anxiety while in conversation with attractive women, but I do have a decent grasp on social openers. Everything ls737 says in the comments on that post is 100% spot on. For you, to start, I'd recommend three things: Try to remember how people - guy or girl - have started conversations with you. Whatever seemed harmless or fun might be a good pattern to try and pick up. I'll expand on my own opinion on this sort of pattern later. Start conve…
/r/seduction28/11/21 09:27 PM
3

Maybe you're just really overdoing it and it would help your sanity to dial it back a lot. You can be serious and brooding and just exchange basic common interests or discuss beliefs or ideas with people and just occasionally intersperse it with humor or flirting.
/r/seduction28/11/21 12:27 PM
1

I just wrote out a whole post without even thinking to ask. Do you think you know what makes for a good opener? And would you use it when trying to start a conversation with a random guy at the bar? I ask because if you don't know, the source of your anxiety might be that you aren't really sure what makes a good opener. If you are sure, try practicing your openers on people when you think it is appropriate; literally anyone. As /u/JacobMoogberg69 said, that's just being social and starting conve…
/r/seduction28/11/21 12:13 PM
1

That part right there is you saying you don't find yourself interesting. That isn't true though. I wouldn't make many of the decisions that I do if I didn't think they were good ideas. It's that I know that I fail to express them in a way that other people find interesting. That is a social skill, a marketing skill. Finding myself lacking, or maybe being unable to use that skill, definitely affects my self esteem, but the root cause is not thinking my life or myself is shitty and boring. It's al…
/r/seduction28/11/21 09:32 AM
1

But what I am is someone who doesn't understand this kind of socializing. I cannot accept that because the outcome is unacceptable
/r/seduction27/11/21 11:16 PM
1

How can I have an "abundance mindset" if my brain has essentially been shocked by dozens of failures into thinking that the result will be the same; that I will have strong initial interest that quickly fades when it is apparent that I am either socially inept or appear so because anxiety from losing so much prevents me from being authentic and bold?
/r/seduction27/11/21 11:11 PM
0

You could be a charming person who has great interactions with people and these people could absolutely love you, and you’ll never see it if you hate yourself. Okay, but I do often have these and I do see this, and I feel that all this is unrelated to me hating myself. I don't suck with women because of my opinion of myself, it's because a long history of failure causes me to overthink every single thing I say and do. So my social skills are blunted and my practice is ineffective. The other nigh…
/r/seduction27/11/21 11:08 PM
2

Okay; what sort of things are you saying where, and what kind of reactions do you get? PS: take anything i say with a grain of salt, my anxiety has made it so that i havent gotten laid in almost three years
/r/seduction27/11/21 10:37 PM
1

You didn't put that "model level" qualifier first. I know a guy who's fat and balding and he pulls simply because he always, always, always puts himself out there with friendly energy and is never afraid to say what's on his mind. Have they ever been absurdly, model level hot? I don't know, probably not, but how much does that really matter? Meanwhile I've got all my hair and a slim figure and I'm here with my dick in my hand. If you're not straight up ugly, it's all personality and social skill…
/r/seduction27/11/21 08:32 PM
2

Do you approach, even if the whole interaction sucks?
/r/seduction27/11/21 08:23 PM
3

I mean, my life isn't really that crazy exciting, at least not yet, but that doesn't bother me all that much. It's more sexlessness and the feelings of inadequacy that come with it that are chewing an enormous crater in my mental health. How can I possibly feel content if I'm physically unable to provide myself with that?
/r/seduction27/11/21 09:53 AM
2

Think of every guy you know who is successful with women. Pay attention to what he says and how it makes them feel. These guys are fun. They know how to banter. They know how and when to drop innuendos. They lead dope, fun lives or have really cool visions for how they're going to lead them. They aren't afraid to say things that are potentially a bit provocative or outrageous to make conversations more interesting. I know this not because I am one of these men, but I often have a chance to watch…
/r/seduction27/11/21 09:49 AM
3

Just from an outside perspective this isn't even necessarily a rejection. It might be that she perceived your lack of response as a lack of interest and wanted to avoid being hurt, or she chose her current partner over you, and being that she had no intention of pursuing you further you can't really lose something you didn't have in the first place.
/r/seduction13/11/21 10:57 PM
5

ALDH deficiency
/r/seduction13/11/21 10:13 PM
5

How does one train themselves to slow down and do this in every situation?
/r/seduction13/11/21 10:07 PM
71

With guys who aren't so familiar or good at reading body language and signals, asking is definitely good advice. Otherwise I'd say nonverbal is totally okay as long as you are giving your partner plenty of time to respond to what you're doing.
/r/seduction13/11/21 10:02 PM
4

people are shitting on you because you're being negative but the truth is it's very difficult to see things otherwise when all you get are L's. hang in there bud, if you can't help yourself altogether at once start with small things
/r/seduction30/10/21 02:35 PM
1

While it's good you've decided you want to relax a bit, I can tell you from experience your self pact could be pretty counterproductive if you don't react to deprivation the way you hope you will, particularly since it's a way of putting pressure on yourself when you've recognized that part of your issues stem from putting too much pressure on yourself. It's good that you recognize this as a numbers game, because for those of us who aren't Jason Momoa it very much is. Just keep approaching and f…
/r/seduction03/07/21 11:14 PM
0

all i'm reading here is "i don't know how to be fun without being degrading"
/r/seduction03/07/21 01:29 AM
2

i do this unironically
/r/seduction03/07/21 01:20 AM
1

I'm pretty decent at making approaches and kind of okay at making openers, but I'm still very nervous around new people because I stall out of conversations (and vice-versa). So this still fuels a lot of social anxiety despite consistently making approaches every time I go out (3 nights+ a week). It's very easy for me to go up and have a very brief, simple, friendly conversation, but I often dip out very early because I don't know what else to say that would hold interest or not seem weird. Soci…
/r/seduction02/07/21 10:34 AM
2

I just asked about this topic in this thread. There are a ton of varied and interesting suggestions!
/r/seduction02/07/21 10:31 AM
1

I guess I could try a fighting gym but the truth is I dislike cardio, the potential for injuries, and competitive sports generally. It's nothing against people who enjoy those things, they're just not for me.
/r/seduction02/07/21 12:18 AM
1

I'm just looking for suggestions I could try that I might like and that might make me more interesting and relatable. I do video games, I lift a bit, and I sing a lot. However, I watch no TV and rarely consume other media and no sports, so I find it difficult to talk to a lot of people generally at first. I think finding new things to do would really help me here and also give me lots of opportunities to meet more people!
/r/seduction01/07/21 08:02 PM
1

It's been tremendously difficult with my narrow set of hobbies and interests. I figure it's time for a change. What is insanity and all that
/r/seduction01/07/21 10:13 AM
1

Give me that shit I'm getting my micros
/r/seduction01/07/21 07:46 AM
1

Obviously I won't be taking up basket weaving just because someone else suggests it and it helps them get girls. I'm just looking for suggestions I could try that I might like and that might make me more interesting and relatable. I do video games, I lift a bit, and I sing a lot. However, I watch no TV and rarely consume other media and no sports, so I find it difficult to talk to a lot of people generally at first. I think finding new things to do would really help me here and also give me lots…
/r/seduction01/07/21 07:38 AM
1

Naw dawg it's more this pompous assertion that "you're the leader" because you have certain vaguely-defined beliefs. It's bullshit and deserves to be called out for being bullshit. You can be left leaning without being some floppy Whole Foods noodle with a man bun who asks for permission to walk in the same space as a woman's perfume trail.
/r/seduction01/07/21 07:04 AM
1

This is a tangent, but I think it's important to recognize the intended meaning of Black Lives Matter - It's to call attention to how some in law enforcement have not treated the lives of black people with the same value as everyone else, not to say that some lives actually matter more than others. We could argue in circles about who commits what crime against who, or how much of that treatment is in evidence, or what incidents constitute excessive force, if it's exclusive to black people, etc. …
/r/seduction01/07/21 06:49 AM
1

Music production and DJing has always sounded interesting to me, but I never understood how people got into it. What would you recommend for beginners?
/r/seduction01/07/21 06:37 AM
2

It sounds like you've made your ultimatum and set your boundaries, which is exactly what you should be doing, but maybe to a stricter degree. Your current arrangement will most likely end in someone feeling heartbroken, one way or another. It also sounds like she needs to do a lot of soul-searching and probably sleeping around before she knows who or what she wants for the rest of her life, if she even wants an arrangement like that. That's kind of the MO for a lot of folks in their 20s-30s thes…
/r/seduction01/07/21 06:00 AM
4

I'm a programmer and personally never volunteer that information, and am reluctant to talk about my profession if people ask. I'm hardly the model of success so take my words with a grain of salt. I don't talk about it because in my experience, people do judge you differently if they get a certain impression of you (socially stunted) and then volunteer that you do IT work.
/r/seduction30/06/21 06:12 PM
1

I'm really not trying to impress them most of the time, I'm just trying to see if there could be connection where one doesn't yet exist and struggle to do so, usually due to anxiety and lack of experience getting past those first 3 minutes because of anxiety. like generally if i don't find 3 things that we have in common in that time i usually fuck it up
/r/seduction30/06/21 05:59 PM
1

I was your age when I lost mine. It's honestly not a big deal, and if women actually like you they will not care that you are if you tell them. It's as simple as saying "I've never done this before" when the time comes and anyone worth your time will understand.
/r/seduction30/06/21 05:27 PM
11

This is going to sound completely unhinged, but even being homeless has its own character and unusual-ness to it to people who are privileged enough not to be in that position Compare that to a boring suburbanite like myself talking about some dumb esoteric hobby i do or game that I play. Nobody cares about that except me, nor do I particularly want to foist that on them if they aren't already interested But if you have a better suggestion I'm all ears, like, tell me about this "Real Game"
/r/seduction30/06/21 05:10 PM
13

I want to pick from stuff that helps increase my options and value, that's all
/r/seduction30/06/21 04:56 PM
1

I have a problem where if I'm my "nice" self girls get bored with the first 1-3 minutes small talk bottled by anxiety before my actual funny or smart sides can come out Where if I act kinda douchey, well, I get treated like a douche. Appropriate What do?
/r/seduction30/06/21 04:46 PM
3

I don't drink when I go to sing at karaoke. I buy other people drinks. Not simply women, mind you, anyone who seems receptive and is nearby. The house gets paid, I might make a new friend, and I avoid entering into a depressive tailspin if I get rejected. Win-win-win.
/r/seduction30/06/21 07:33 AM
2

i'm 32 and i'm still trying even though i fucking suck just keep going
/r/seduction30/06/21 06:57 AM
1

centered, ambivalent, polite manner. suppressing suicidal thoughts while driving home from bar
/r/seduction30/06/21 06:55 AM
2

Even though I'm polite and make jokes and whatever Understand that being liked (e.g. nice and polite, like elevator music) and being attractive (being stimulating) aren't the same thing. The biggest difference I've noticed between guys who don't get women (me) and those who do is that the latter genuinely don't give a shit if they get laid or if the women they're talking to are into them. They just live their lives, build themselves up, and enjoy where they're at, and move onto the next place if…
/r/seduction26/06/21 08:02 AM
1

I would be a fat unmoving bastard if I was only doing things for me. I don't really understand this mindset if I'm being honest.
/r/seduction26/06/21 06:37 AM
1

I'm assuming you're in OP's boat. Would you mind sharing what your situation was and what changed for you?
/r/seduction26/06/21 03:41 AM
1

My main issue is being nervous in the moment and blanking and then finding something actually amusing (to me) that I could have said three hours later.
/r/seduction09/06/21 03:32 PM
0

there is an endless flux of chicks What if this just isn't true for me? Do I have to move?
/r/seduction27/05/21 09:27 PM
1

Experience what it's like to have a girl your attracted to being sexually interested you for no other reason than you being you. Well, here's the thing. I do get this once in a while (I realize a good part of the problem is logistics and numbers, I need to get the fuck out of the suburbs), but it very often happens that I do something (or fail to do something) or other to fumble, and it isn't necessarily that I try too hard to be something I'm not, I think it really is that I lack (or possess ba…
/r/seduction26/05/21 06:40 PM
1

We're really already jumping into Godwin's law territory here? First of all, we have no idea if these are the standards being applied to OP's crush. For all we know, he could be a totally goofy-looking dude that she just really happens to like - her "type" - because genes are weird. Women want tall white guys with aryan features unanimously The fact that women regularly date outside of their race (I personally have known many interracial couples and know a particularly successful black man) show…
/r/seduction26/05/21 02:20 AM
2

There is nothing wrong with attraction based on pure physicality. It just needs to be recognized for what it is to prevent setting the wrong expectations.
/r/seduction26/05/21 01:12 AM
1

I'm in this position now. Don't invest in them so much as just talk to them if you actually feel like it. There's a girl who's very likely lost interest in me, and it really fucking sucks that this is like the 743rd time that this has happened after strong initial interest, but all I can really do is just hang up my gloves for a while before pinging again. Any effort I apply now will just further cement her disinterest. On the other hand, there's a woman who seems to really like me and whom I li…
/r/seduction26/05/21 12:17 AM
2

This seems a bit self-contradictory. You went on this long journey and gained experience that helped you become better at socializing and possibly a better seducer than you admittedly were before. Then doesn't that mean that, subconsciously or not, you were able to internalize what behaviors people liked or were comfortable with and which they were not? I'm not saying seduction can be boiled down to a hard science, obviously it can't, everyone is different, and on some levels to say there is a t…
/r/seduction25/05/21 11:50 PM
1

If a girl likes you makes it easy as fuck. Nah, I just fuck up 90% of the time they like me. I can always tell. It actually physically hurts.
/r/seduction25/05/21 11:47 PM
1

Seems like you could tie up a few loose ends first. Once that's set, do you have other things that you bring into your life, that you value strongly about yourself? Like, a skill or hobby that other people could easily understand and value that you value tremendously? I ask because this can be part of the key in how you see yourself and therefore the self-image that you likely project to women when you pursue them. It sounds like you too have some confidence issues stemming from a bad history wi…
/r/seduction30/08/20 02:17 AM
1

How's your foundation looking? Grooming, tidiness, fitness, financials, social life all good?
/r/seduction29/08/20 09:41 PM
1

This sad, old submission of mine has a basic formula for openers. I tend to open people (people, not just women) with something I notice about them or about the situation we're in. Retooling Jeff Ross to be less aggressively roasty against strangers could also work as long as it's clear you're doing it in good fun.
/r/seduction29/08/20 09:02 PM
3

lifter69 From the sound of it you probably have some pretty killer pics which might help your case
/r/seduction29/08/20 05:50 PM
2

Hah wooooom, iss so PAHLUTTED, I can eefn haf a FAHKIN BABY wid er, man.
/r/seduction29/08/20 11:16 AM
1

I mean, if you're looking at an attractive woman with the intent to approach, you're probably not thinking of the rug or joystick at that moment. (Or maybe you are, just not the ones at home.)
/r/seduction29/08/20 10:59 AM
1

Are you an incel? Because if you're using ugliness as an excuse then I've got bad news for you.
/r/seduction29/08/20 06:53 AM
1

I don't have experience with OCD, but I do have a tendency to fixate on rejection or failure. The best temporary cure is channeling all that frustration into lifting. It won't solve the problem, but it may help give you the strength to deal with it emotionally. The difference between when I'm rested and have exercise endorphins versus poorly slept and totally out of shape is night and day, hopefully this helps you as well.
/r/seduction26/08/20 01:12 AM
1

Did you ask/say something that required a response when you were left on seen?
/r/seduction07/08/20 02:11 AM
14

I pictured a caveman explaining this to me and had a sensible chortle
/r/seduction07/08/20 02:01 AM
2

True abundance is being able to walk away from any encounter and any relationship at any time. It doesn't necessarily mean you'll feel great about doing that, but it does mean you don't wrap up your feelings and identity in whether someone else accepts you. Your overall well-being does not change because someone rejects you. Some people naturally have this mindset; they are born needing little and ask little of others. Those who are not born with this mindset need to develop it through decades o…
/r/seduction02/08/20 07:47 AM
2

If you can make her laugh, smile, and turn her on while just not fucking up the rest of your life - having stability and some kind of life trajectory you're moving in - you will eventually find success. You don't even need that second part if you're just looking for a lay. Without knowing more about how you specifically behave it's hard to make any suggestions, plus I'm probably not the best person to ask presently.
/r/seduction02/08/20 07:22 AM
1

If this behavior requires to be intrusive, cocky, manipulative then you can't obtain it without selling your soul. Well like, think about the last girl you were with. All the behaviors you had around her that were not only acceptable, but welcome, that you knew turned her on. Stuff that you obviously couldn't do with a stranger. With the exception of being manipulative, I think narcissists have a good handle on when these behaviors become acceptable or even desired, or simply don't care and do i…
/r/seduction01/08/20 09:24 AM
3

I think the best thing you can do for yourself is accept your feelings. YES you're nervous. YES you might go all shaky and limp-dicked, perhaps literally. And that's totally okay. Lots of guys go through this. If you're totally inexperienced, it's even to be expected. Accept these feelings. Soldier through them as hard as you can, without hesitation. And if she has to ask what's wrong, you just tell her straight up. She's cute and it makes you nervous, because you've never done anything like thi…
/r/seduction01/08/20 08:11 AM
1

Girls just wanna have fun.
/r/seduction01/08/20 08:03 AM
1

my thoughts inside of a Calvinist hell hole I wasn't raised Calvinist, but as a former Baptist I think I understand.
/r/seduction01/08/20 08:01 AM
1

There's also the question of, how or why is it more attractive? Narcissists have a tendency to be self-obsessed and neglectful of others' feelings. This means they outwardly lack neediness (or rather express it as belittlement of others) and probably won't be afraid to upset their "targets" by being bold. This is actually bolstered by the second study he posted, which suggests that dark triad types are very good at presenting themselves attractively - They either, by practice or naturally, have …
/r/seduction01/08/20 07:51 AM
1

This pathetic advice "being productive means being attractive" this is the most betabux advice you can ever get. I don't think this is the thrust of most of that advice. A lot of guys, myself included, don't feel fully centered or confident without having our shit together, meaning that we won't leverage any game we have at our core - without money, without fitness, without some form of style. We're in the wrong mindset because we feel that we're falling short of our potential or have little to …
/r/seduction01/08/20 07:26 AM
0

Insecure and psychopathic ones do. This sort of blackpill shit is dead on with those, just have to remember that it isn't everyone.
/r/seduction01/08/20 07:13 AM
1

What kind of cold dms do you usually send? I have ideas but many are shite so I like hearing how others do things
/r/seduction29/07/20 08:32 PM
2

keep sentences short. no non-auto caps, light punctuation. just kind of go with the flow lol
/r/seduction29/07/20 08:28 PM
1

Definitely agree with that. Took me way too long to really drive toward building a strong foundation. Houses built on sand and all that. I'm still without any strong sense of purpose, but I honestly don't think that matters all that much.
/r/seduction29/07/20 05:19 PM
2

Forget the "game", pickup lines, persuasion abilities. These all come naturally if you know what you want from life and get after it. I'm still super convinced this is not true for some guys, maybe even most of them. You can develop a good mentality and still have no idea how to flirt or socialize properly.
/r/seduction29/07/20 05:07 PM
1

Forgive yourself. We've all done cringy shit we want to burn and would die in a hole if it were aired to the light of day.
/r/seduction29/07/20 05:04 PM
3

Ah, I thought I recognized your username. I liked your write-up on how culture affects dating in Japan on another sub. Perhaps this isn't the most helpful suggestion, but maybe you could expand your circles further? Try developing some hobbies that attract expats and tourists. I'm a firm believer that interests can be cultivated to an extent rather than simply "found," if you will, even if you find a lot of "basic" hobbies kind of mindless. Then there's always moving out of Japan, but I'm assumi…
/r/seduction28/07/20 07:43 AM
2

With such a wide array of interests, why do you have trouble finding women with those interests in common, or who have good enough personal chemistry that they don't eventually get bored?
/r/seduction28/07/20 03:45 AM
3

I don't know if that's necessarily true. I've been with a woman like this and I think she just slept around on her boyfriend because she loved the thrill of it and had some serious psych issues from having an unstable upbringing. Doesn't mean you're shit, but could also mean you're not the shit.
/r/seduction28/07/20 03:37 AM
6

when the time comes have sex in a full rubber body suit and gas mask
/r/seduction27/07/20 11:42 PM
8

silver fox has entered the chat
/r/seduction27/07/20 11:32 PM
4

Her saying no doesn't have to be a dealbreaker to a friendship anyway. I have a co-worker who rejected me but we're on pretty good terms and having some closure and lack of tension makes it very easy to be yourself around them.
/r/seduction27/07/20 11:22 PM
2

This person has a chip on their shoulder and isn't interested in actually hearing anything from this community.
/r/seduction27/07/20 10:59 PM
1

this incel community They're a problem here, not a pillar.
/r/seduction27/07/20 05:56 PM
1

If it were me I'd busy myself with something for a couple days and then break the ice with something I think she'd like, banter a bit, then if it's good ask if she wants to facetime. Take this with a grain of salt, my wireless game is hot garbage.
/r/seduction26/07/20 06:41 PM
2

You. I like you.
/r/seduction26/07/20 06:28 PM
7

If my mans is drowning in cheeto dust and on his 3rd day streaming WoW then I get it, but if we're talking guys like myself that are much better established on most of the basics I think the better part of anxiety is inexperience. I tell you what, the first time I went on a karaoke stage I think my legs were shaking a bit and I quit in the middle of the song. Now I've done it hundreds of times and getting blown out is no big deal (usually, lmao). A guy can think he's the absolute shit and still …
/r/seduction26/07/20 06:22 PM
12

you know that youre a weak man who has no real value See though, that's not knowledge. That's a cognitive distortion. You don't have to be some tryhard god among men to be an acceptable prospect. I think of a blog I read a while back where some PUA remarked on how he worked with ex-marines. We're talking seasoned battle veterans who have stared death in the face and are probably jacked yet are intimidated by the idea of approaching women. They are definitely not low value as they are, their mind…
/r/seduction26/07/20 05:53 PM
3

Practice socially intelligent approaches on anyone you feel comfortable with doing so at first and slowly start trying those approaches with increasingly attractive women. If there is a prominent or unique feature or behavior about a person I see on the street I will usually comment on it in some way so as to brighten their day a bit. If I were to approach women, I'd want to carry that same vibe. If I can't bring what I think is positive energy into an approach I won't do it (although I get a lo…
/r/seduction26/07/20 04:54 PM
1

Believe me, I've tortured myself plenty with the questions you're asking me now. I don't look at it as a matter of deserving or competition, just a matter of causes and effects. I cause good feelings in person because I'm somewhat smart, empathetic, and can turn a phrase. I fail to cause these feelings on paper because I have no widely relevant hobbies, little muscle mass, no pictures, and no texting ability. The answers for me are obvious in terms of improving my standing and therefore how I fe…
/r/seduction26/07/20 10:00 AM
1

I don't think it's that they don't like me. See, this has happened to me many times before where they have a lot of or some interest in person but it wanes increasingly over text. If I can't get them out - and I definitely can't under the current circumstances - then I usually find I'm sunk. I appreciate the suggestion and realize I'm cutting off my nose here, but I won't support Facebook through Instagram. I don't really have any platform to show what I'm about, and to be honest there's not rea…
/r/seduction26/07/20 09:40 AM
1

Sorry for the confusion, I'm not OP. But I have this issue with a couple girls I have great chemistry with in person but have difficulty engaging with text. I usually find I have to limit my messages to something really short and low-effort-feeling but that makes it hard to have any real conversation and leaves me in a position where I feel like an orbiter. I don't understand the medium if I'm being honest, I feel I'm 31 going on 60 sometimes.
/r/seduction26/07/20 09:30 AM
3

Check the hand
/r/seduction26/07/20 07:27 AM
1

the responses I get to this are super hella vague and noncommittal, at least over snap and text
/r/seduction26/07/20 07:03 AM
6

Keep your home and car clean fuck
/r/seduction26/07/20 05:38 AM
1

Part of the problem is that "nice" and "respectful" can extend to being so careful to avoid pushing any boundaries that the relationship doesn't go anywhere. The men afraid to do that and potentially cause some discomfort will lose. I know this because I did it for ten years. There are times I still do it now because my options are so few. Yes, lots of /r/nice_guys are effectively just simps whining about how their being simps doesn't win them any affection but I think for most actually nice guy…
/r/seduction26/07/20 12:09 AM
1

Yeah I think the idea that game can help you save flat out rejections or blowouts is pure fantasy. I'm thinking more like when you're in a situation where she clearly is okay with you approaching as a person but nothing romantic has really been established; there isn't any explicit attraction. On the fence, if you will, not yes or no yet.
/r/seduction25/07/20 11:15 PM
5

A bunch of dudes probably are just running "don't fuck up game", but I've seen too many dudes with nothing particularly physically attractive about them succeed to think that it's purely a "don't fuck up" thing.
/r/seduction25/07/20 10:49 PM
3

Suggestions (and these apply to platonic conversations too): Think of the feeling that the person experiences based on the last thing they talked about. Even a simple observation like "that sounds exciting" or something like that can get them talking more about the thing and how it makes them feel. This gives you more opportunities to learn about or relate to them. It also gives you material to refer back to when those feelings are evoked. After a pause concluding the previous thread of conversa…
/r/seduction24/07/20 07:17 PM
2

I have this same pedestalization problem. I think like with every other step of the process of learning game, you have to desensitize yourself to meeting and getting to know them through simply doing it a lot, until you're in the frame of mind that they are people just like everyone else (only very easy to look at).
/r/seduction22/07/20 01:41 AM
2

This post is a timeless reminder that how you view rejection will depend in no small part on your life circumstances outside of dating and sexuality. Build a strong foundation and everything else will follow much more smoothly.
/r/seduction22/07/20 01:35 AM
1

I hate to say this because fuck Facebook, but maybe Facebook or Insta first instead would be better. If you manage that then delete her number and let her give it to you herself.
/r/seduction20/07/20 03:26 AM
8

Yes, dear god yes, unless you actually need to get on that train. For future reference if you're not sure about whether something would make someone uncomfortable ask yourself if you'd be comfortable with a skeevy-looking dude doing the same thing to you.
/r/seduction20/07/20 03:23 AM
2

Fuck, this is so familiar. If you texted her once already leave the ball in her court for a couple days, at which point I (and the dudes who are actually good at this shit can correct me here if needed) would drop her a hint of what she can look forward to at the end of your next date. Nothing too crazy, just the kind of thing that would make her go wild if she's as frustrated as your last meeting made it sound. Tell her what you've been thinking about in a PG-13 to R sense, get more explicit if…
/r/seduction20/07/20 02:59 AM
3

The last time I did something like this, it didn't end well. Granted, this was a woman in college who likely had many other options, but still IMO there's no reason to hold back. Early sex isn't what ruins these relationships in my opinion, it's winding up with a guy who doesn't understand that the sex is all he actually wants and not a genuine interest in being with the woman. In fact, my experience has been that not escalating when you have the opportunity for some reason I can't figure out so…
/r/seduction20/07/20 02:17 AM
1

I figure it's tongue in cheek. To answer your question, it can totally work, I've had the opportunity to screw a very good platonic friend before but passed it up because any romantic relationship would probably have ended catastrophically.
/r/seduction20/07/20 02:11 AM
7

The thing about a good cold approach is that it shouldn't feel like one to you, the girl. Ideally it should be a guy with decent social intelligence showing interest in or relating to you for a reason other than your body (unless he's Ryan Reynolds or something). It'd be no different than a girl striking up a normal conversation with you only with a slight edge to it because it's a guy with some interest but not so much he's letting it run him like a dog on a leash. You mention the street, super…
/r/seduction20/07/20 01:43 AM
7

perfect victim aite hol up
/r/seduction20/07/20 01:31 AM
1

You a bona fide singer or we talking karaoke? (This isn't to talk shit I actually love karaoke)
/r/seduction20/07/20 12:56 AM
2

May I DM you?
/r/seduction20/07/20 12:19 AM
2

Once you guys are on good terms, drop innuendos or make playful sexual guesses about him, getting increasingly overt until he either decides to/seems open to you making a move or he rejects you/gets uncomfortable.
/r/seduction19/07/20 07:39 PM
1

Low SMV outside of a specific context, low opportunities. It's been pretty much a lifelong frustration having good in person chemistry early on and then my weird ass texting and lack of understanding how to flirt torpedoing what might have been a good hookup or relationship.
/r/seduction19/07/20 07:13 PM
1

If you're going after a relationship with a sorority chick who crushes jungle juice four nights a week, you're going to be disappointed. If you spend exclusive time at dance practices and going on hikes with some bookish chick who'd rather tilt a wine glass and sit in reading or watching TV, your chances are probably much better. Ask yourself what you want and if the girl you're talking to is suited for it. And always remember that you never 100% know what a person wants, and very often neither …
/r/seduction19/07/20 06:19 PM
3

You understand well. These theories are generally adopted by people with terrible experiences who tend to focus in on specific subsets of men and women. They have a partially truthful but distorted view on sexual politics.
/r/seduction19/07/20 06:12 PM
9

ok
/r/seduction19/07/20 06:09 PM
12

I made exactly this mistake with a girl I've been orbiting for like a year. It's pathetic I know but I've since learned to shut the fuck up and keep texts casual and short
/r/seduction19/07/20 05:56 PM
2

I appreciate your pointers. Just wanted to add my opinion on a few of them. ditch all products I'm Asian with hair that points straight outwards. This is not an option for me. NO SANDALS, you're not Jesus Also disagree. As long as you're not wearing weird chunky mandals you should be fine. I would even encourage it if you live anywhere near the water. no cargo shorts The one good pickup approach I've ever run was when I was in college. All I had on was a black t-shirt, some shitty dad sneakers, …
/r/seduction19/07/20 05:50 PM
2

he ded
/r/seduction19/07/20 03:47 AM
10

So the saying is usually "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take." What's left out of that saying is all the shots you will miss because you didn't practice the shots you did not take. Better to talk to her and fail than not talk and learn nothing for when you talk to the next girl. And there's no guarantee you'll fail, either!
/r/seduction19/07/20 03:45 AM
10

In a situation like that devoid of any rapport, be direct about what you noticed and what you want while hinting (or flat-out saying) that you understand 1) She's working a service job and absolutely needs to not have a shitshow on her hands at the drive-thru from some guy who can't handle rejection. 2) You are not one of those guys who will press her any further if she says no.
/r/seduction19/07/20 03:33 AM
1

Girls, men, anyone who wants to constantly give you a hard time just because are exhausting to everyone, even themselves. That said, if she can throw mean banter but doesn't hit below the belt she's a keeper.
/r/seduction19/07/20 01:57 AM
4

That's true on Tinder. When you're not just "some guy she met on Tinder" and built some kind of story behind your meeting you have a lot more leeway.
/r/seduction19/07/20 01:53 AM
1

When it comes to seduction, the reality is 9 out of 10 times a girl decides the moment she lay eyes on you. I wouldn't say that's true. Speaking from experience, I've been selected quite a few times only to catastrophically sink the ship within hours to days.
/r/seduction19/07/20 01:50 AM
3

lmao
/r/seduction19/07/20 01:38 AM
4

Most generally, it means your clothing is suitable quality for your station in life and complements the vibe of the place you're currently attending, and that it fits you in a way that looks good or makes sense in the context in which you're wearing it. That's hella vague, so a few examples: Going to a sports or dive bar? You don't, and probably shouldn't, need more than a good jacket (bomber, letterman, leather, trucker), t-shirt/henley/team jersey (hoodie in winter) or possibly denim shirts (I…
/r/seduction18/07/20 10:45 PM
5

How far is too far? Like, I just went through trying and returning a ton of bright summer sometimes hawaiian print or summer-color clothes and found that a lot of them were way too feminine or ostentatious for my style. I want to stand out but not in a way that makes people wonder if it's guys or girls I'm going for, or in a way that makes me look a bit like, well, a 30-something in a mid-life crisis. I guess more to the point what I'm asking is examples of what kind of pieces or outfits look go…
/r/seduction18/07/20 10:14 PM
8

This is probably normal and even healthy but you might get different answers being that this is a subreddit where people like me tend to congregate who were socially ostracized and psychologically broken early on and seek to fill the void in their self-esteem by being chosen for what in reality is meaningless sex
/r/seduction17/07/20 03:26 PM
1

Who cares? It's your dick dude send it where it wants to go
/r/seduction17/07/20 02:16 PM
3

It's hard right now, what with everyone outside of NZ being cooped up, but when the quarantine is over I think it helps the most to find groups that do activities you're interested in or curious about. It's cringe as fuck but my closest current friend circle was developed through bar karaoke. You can talk about the activity with people in those groups and some of them might have good chemistry with you. Ask questions about them, about their other interests, about stuff they've been doing, why to…
/r/seduction17/07/20 02:00 PM
2

Should come with a healthy dose of humility. The better part of cringe is a lack of calibrated self-awareness.
/r/seduction17/07/20 01:12 PM
3

Half-assed some weak-ass ass-to-grass squats today and shipped out some more returned shit that I probably shouldn't have bought in the first place instead of letting it fester in the front room. It's nice to make baby steps but I really need more focus and commitment. I also try to learn to write and to be funny. It doesn't always work out, but I get karma if it does and practice even if it doesn't. One thing's for sure, my attitude fucking kicks ass.
/r/seduction16/07/20 09:47 PM
2

Shit nah. House is a wreck that I can't seem to clean faster than I accumulate junk, boring ass desk job, shitty messy car, severely underweight, my most exciting hobby recently was just making a cheesecake in an instant pot. But I bet you I'd eventually pull if the karaoke bars opened back up (they won't).
/r/seduction16/07/20 08:34 PM
3

It's a cop-out attitude. Most women do not want to fuck the average man when they just meet him. Not being an obvious underwear model, DJ, or billionaire, he has to first demonstrate what about him makes him valuable and interesting while also just not fucking it up by throwing red flags. Sometimes that will be enough, sometimes it won't, depends on the woman. It does depend to some extent on looks, but unless you're a Danny Devito-looking motherfucker that's probably not your issue. In general,…
/r/seduction16/07/20 08:10 PM
1

Amateur. I keep a bottle of Teflon on my nightstand. that i never use.
/r/seduction13/07/20 05:38 PM
17

bro code
/r/seduction11/07/20 06:58 AM
1

So you’re saying perspective should be taken from a guy who admittedly has no confidence, has copied one liners and who probably spends more time on YouTube watching Todd V videos than he does between a woman’s legs. Speaking of illustration, I think this sentence reveals a lot about your mentality. On the one hand, you urge men to come to a social understanding of themselves and others unassisted through an arduous grind to avoid a lazy and ultimately unsuccessful, inauthentic outcome. On the o…
/r/seduction10/07/20 10:14 PM
2

This isn't my concept, it really is the basis of books like Models and of a lot of inner game-type material. This is a particularly good breakdown of that; there's a lot of sympathy in the post. But I can say I've lived it to an extent.
/r/seduction10/07/20 09:19 PM
1

I look at this like music or fashion, it's a bit like a person trying on different styles for size before creating something that's uniquely theirs. I've always resented /r/Tinder for being heavy on copy-paste lines, but the reality is that without some of their examples or material for guidance I would never have been able to start effectively learning what tends to work and what doesn't (and try to figure out why), and whether or not I think those behaviors fit me well or not. Like I definitel…
/r/seduction10/07/20 10:43 AM
3

The problem is that you've set this frame in her mind that you are a "relationship guy" with whom sex is a committed and slow thing. She doesn't seem to be interested in that kind of arrangement. Actually, reading this again, it's not really clear to me that you guys are romantically involved at all. You've just been hanging out and seem to have been amply friendzoned despite kissing a little bit, hence why she's relating her gaffe with the waiter. If she was attracted to you at some point, it's…
/r/seduction10/07/20 08:42 AM
5

He implied that he's older, so he's probably more at risk of the virus. I'm also going crazy from the lack of contact, but I also recognize that now is the time to acquire value since we're not spending time going out.
/r/seduction10/07/20 07:03 AM
3

I don’t see it as too terrible a thing to show some vulnerability Honestly, I think it's a total positive depending on how you apply it. The "red-pill" mentality I occasionally see of never apologizing or admitting fault really removes some critical humanity from interacting with women. Acknowledging that you're not perfect and have some inexperience or may have overstepped some serious boundaries is a good thing provided it doesn't characterize your relationship.
/r/seduction10/07/20 03:41 AM
2

The same principle applies to everything in sed
/r/seduction10/07/20 03:20 AM
62

This is why I absolutely hate being stuck in limbo between meeting and date. The power of touch and eye contact are totally unavailable but the difference they make in person can't be overstated.
/r/seduction09/07/20 07:08 PM
1

The story of that particular episode is that the kids' grandfather fell in love with a prostitute, but was in denial that he was being used by her. So the kid is jealous of her ("the fam(ily) ain't eating Red Lobster biscuits!") and starts making fun of his grandad by saying he has no "game" (understanding of women), then finally resorts to begging him not to feed her. It's all played for humor, but there's some truth to it in not allowing oneself to be used.
/r/seduction09/07/20 03:19 PM
1

Don't do it, grandad! DON'T FEED HER!
/r/seduction09/07/20 03:06 PM
1

I mean, I guess what gets me about your comment is that I read it, sit back, appreciate the niceness and simplicity of it, and then ask myself what about any of that barring my competency with food would encourage the sort of woman I'd want to hook up with to tear my clothes off or at least avoid putting her off of the idea.
/r/seduction09/07/20 08:27 AM
2

It's when you realize you've maxed out your credit cards and look like you're wearing a mid-life crisis. retreats into corner clutching golden bear jacket
/r/seduction09/07/20 05:27 AM
1

Don't try it.
/r/seduction09/07/20 05:27 AM
7

I can't remember the last time I did a cold approach on the street. I've regrettably stayed in my comfort zone which is usually talking to women at bars after I've sung and feel more confident. HOWEVER despite my super beta mindset doing this has improved my general confidence and in-person social skills. Approach women in more comfortable settings and don't frame it sexually, at least not at first. Work yourself up to a cold approach and ask yourself if something genuinely interests you about t…
/r/seduction09/07/20 04:21 AM
1

How do you do this when only online dating is possible and you flat out suck at it?
/r/seduction09/07/20 03:59 AM
1

I was 24 when I told the girl I was hooking up with that I'd never done it before. She didn't care, and trust me by the time you'd be bringing that up it probably doesn't matter. You can tell the truth.
/r/seduction08/07/20 07:17 PM
13

realize you don't need women or sex I've always thought this to be a load of horseshit. We're the product of a line of millions of successive matings through which has been created an overwhelming instinct to perpetuate those matings. We don't "need" sex, but we're going to want it immensely because it's our instinct to want it. But experience tells us that chasing that craving, allowing that want to overwhelm at inappropriate times is unattractive, it suggests desperation, single-mindedness, or…
/r/seduction07/07/20 03:23 AM
4

Be you. That will land you with the RIGHT partner Who I was when I was younger didn't get me the results I wanted. And being who I am now won't get me those results either. This is probably going to be controversial on a sub that often touts that men should realize their own identity and fuck everyone else's opinion, but I think reality for the vast majority of men is that they have to make constant effort to change and improve relative to other people's standards and not merely their own if the…
/r/seduction07/07/20 03:06 AM
1

That can have its place, but doing it too much can give the impression that you're putting tons of effort into getting her approval, especially if it's not something you normally do.
/r/seduction07/07/20 02:56 AM
1

A lot of it is recognizing that women are no different than men in terms of being people with interests and opinions that you can delve down into, and that the process of doing so is itself something you should be interested in. In other words, getting to know people should be one of your hobbies, and the fact that the person you're talking to is a pretty girl shouldn't matter in that regard.
/r/seduction15/01/20 03:23 PM
2

desired by any girl I want This is a mistake. Even PUAs with plenty of success who've been working the streets for years get plenty of blowouts; she either likes your schtick or she doesn't. It's always a game of chance, you're just maximizing your odds by learning behaviors that tend to be more attractive or unlearning unattractive behaviors.
/r/seduction15/01/20 03:19 PM
2

I guess what I mean is, you look at someone like Chris Brown, wanted by an arguably huge proportion of women, but a complete and total piece of shit. Success in the former regard is the focus of this sub, but I personally think we should avoid methods that achieve it that come at the cost of being abusive. You don't have to lack empathy to hold frame and not act like a supplicating chode as many of us have or do from time to time.
/r/seduction15/01/20 11:18 AM
1

Chemistry makes a big difference in how much that matters. Building chemistry with more people is a skill you can develop through experience.
/r/seduction15/01/20 11:13 AM
1

Maybe so, but it's not something to emulate.
/r/seduction15/01/20 11:11 AM
11

I probably have one of them little airline-sized boxes of frosted flakes' worth of dead numbers.
/r/seduction15/01/20 04:22 AM
1

Well, the core of the garbage axiom "just be yourself" is really "don't cave your frame," where the frame is something like "I think I'm cool and don't need your approval but I'm also not an arrogant prick." In other words, and I guess I'm putting those in his mouth here, we benefit from not feeling like we have to try so hard when we're talking to women, even though we can certainly hone our social skills by practicing certain techniques.
/r/seduction15/01/20 04:20 AM
1

It was also the reason I later blew it. I didn't care at first because my self-esteem was so low I had assumed I would fail, and then when I did not I began to become extremely overinvested. I honestly don't know how to achieve that state of emotional resilience. Sexual opportunity is currently rare both as a combinatiom of low physical SMV and location, and I feel trapped in my current lifestyle, so I'm starting by trying to change all that, but surely there is more to it than that? How do peop…
/r/seduction08/01/20 05:28 AM
2

I'm thirty and I lost my ex with this mentality. Choose one path and make your peace with it. If it helps you decide, I miss her more than I've missed anything in my life ever, and my game has never been very good, especially living in the burbs still. Do what's right for you. Good luck.
/r/seduction07/01/20 09:48 AM
1

Thank you, I appreciate your insight.
/r/seduction07/01/20 05:50 AM
1

Otherwise, you're gonna dwell on that negative interaction until you get a good one. As someone who used to lose a lot at StarCraft before finally uninstalling it, definitely don't depend on that winning note. You could be out on the streets burning yourself out looking for that juice until the dead of night.
/r/seduction07/01/20 04:17 AM
1

Yeah, I understand, some dudes be straight up crazy. It just feels hella confusing when we have mutual friends and we vibe in person.
/r/seduction07/01/20 04:16 AM
3

You think I should still go for it ?... I don't want to come out and tell her or ask her out That's the thing, you don't come out and ask her out or overtly express your interest more than a little at a time at first. You can tease her, drop super hard hints, incorporate touch, make innuendos, but at the end of the day you don't attempt to pull any kind of trigger you think you're going to regret until you can absolutely tell that she wants you sexually. Again, and this might sound crass, focus …
/r/seduction07/01/20 04:09 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter