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diaryofalostgirl Archive

View 8 posts and 2,406 comments by diaryofalostgirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

That ring sounds lovely. I wish you and your fiancé much joy. Neither of you are bums. You just don't have expensive tastes -- no bad thing.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/25 12:30 AM
6

It certainly sounds like it would appeal to red pill men, but the environment may be a bit edgelord for red pill women.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/25 10:19 PM
1

What is it that you want? Abject worship?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 09:54 PM
1

Those women are deeply damaged in some fundamental way if they think the prisoners they're guarding are some kind of catch.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 01:02 PM
2

:D got me there
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 01:02 PM
1

[facepalm] it's a novel, it's not my actual life, I'm sorry it happens to have been YOUR life but I deadass just read a novel and liked the title, it isn't that deep. Please stop trying to condescend to me like you actually care about more than scoring points. I have matured past whatever trauma I've lived. And if we're talking about nightly news like we're also oh-so-mature, I cut my teeth on CNN. Please stop trying to be better than me. It's not cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 01:01 PM
1

Human nature is to love, not to fuck whatever gives us the tinglies. You have us confused with animals not given the means by which to reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 12:59 PM
3

I'm the soft place to land. I'm the one taking care of the things that he doesn't have the energy to do. Since we're both going to work, I would contribute my share of the financial upkeep, but make up for that in domestic labour. The LostGirl wife package also comes with sex, which is important, and plenty of love and respect. Although those things are probably there a lot before he upgrades to the wife package. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 12:57 PM
1

Not to you. But to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 12:08 AM
2

I'm sure my insecurities peek out once in a while, but I'm not moaning on about them. I'm honest ("I'm dealing with X Thing. It's not you! It's just me!") and then I act like a normal person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 12:08 AM
2

Congratulations! And 100% agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:52 PM
2

Like... is he making more than I am, but not so much that it's turned him insufferable? Has he kept his figure the way I have? Does he at least have hair?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:51 PM
0

your average woman might have 2 guys stand out to her. I can't speak for all women and I won't attempt to try. But every face and figure tells me a different story. The story needs to be interesting enough, and since I acknowledge that I'm hypergamous, I'm also looking for subtle signals that he's been successful in life for his age. That he can take care of himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:36 PM
1

They were attractive to someone, sweetie, or they wouldn't be getting any of that!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:31 PM
2

What are women that rich like compared to women who make less than, holy shit, $250K? What appeals to you about her?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:30 PM
3

Define my top 20% man, then. Go on. I'll tell you what you got right or wrong. I'm genuinely interested, and I promise not to lie to save face.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:27 PM
4

Assume they are all lying to rationalize not being perfectly altruistic in their preferences and you will be much happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:26 PM
5

They're lying. I'm sorry they're lying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:25 PM
2

ngl, I love short men. I love them more when they don't make their insecurities my fault, but I still love them. :) So I hope no short man ever feels worse about himself around me. He is valid!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:21 PM
–

Have fun with the ran-through!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:15 PM
2

They apparently save it for places like this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:14 PM
1

Perhaps if you read more than tabloids...? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diary_of_a_Lost_Girl
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:13 PM
5

But how do you think he got married to her? It wasn't by complaining about how women don't like short men...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:10 PM
2

I'm arguing that those characteristics are neither immutable nor universal. Sorry you don't know any decent women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:05 PM
4

PTSD from a car crash is [edited] MORE serious than being insecure about your height, sorry to have to break it to you. Women are attracted to short men who put their experiences in proper context.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:03 PM
1

39, and apparently better able to muster up compassion for Anna Nicole Smith than a woman of... what vast age and experience?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:02 PM
-2

So, car crashes are near-death experiences...
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:51 PM
1

I was. Nobody wants to be famous like that (see also Spears, Britney).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:39 PM
–

Truest statement here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 08:30 PM
1

But they don't turn that couple into a circus sideshow act. Sooner or later that couple just becomes "Joe and Annie next door, he's the old guy who ended up with a gorgeous young thing. I couldn't do it, but more power to him."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 08:26 PM
2

How? Because I don't want to join a harem? Because I have self-respect?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 07:29 PM
2

You know, I think I live in a community that is a lot more forgiving than that. They might laugh once or twice in private, but then they would get on with their lives and not say boo to her in public.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 07:28 PM
1

I think he is -- we just reason differently than you do. I certainly hold myself accountable and hope I am accountable to the people in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 07:26 PM
1

Thank you. Genuinely. Blessings upon you and yours, and may you get whatever it is you are seeking from life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 05:31 PM
1

Runs out of pertinent points to make, resorts to mockery.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 05:08 PM
1

The major rule I live by is love. If God were not a God of love, I would rebel and seek Satan. But "my yoke is easy and my burden light".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 05:03 PM
3

Correct. Everyone's got it in them. Some simply choose to listen only to a certain degree. I do not want to marry down, only across and up -- but not so far up that I'm one of many. A woman who still dates so far up that she's one of many when she can fend for herself is an idiot.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:49 PM
1

See, there's actually a lot of people who would say, and have said, that the reason to do something good doesn't matter. Take the example of helping the poor. I have heard multiple people talk about a man who was so ashamed he was helping the poor to feel better about himself that he just stopped helping, and God was like "bro, just help the poor, they don't care about your reason, they just need the help."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:42 PM
2

Poor Jack. I pity his wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:40 PM
1

Ciara can be successful and still act like a trashy 304.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:34 PM
2

Would Anna Nicole Smith have been an object of ridicule without enormous breasts and bleach-blonde hair?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:32 PM
4

Being on antidepressants is an indicator that you have a brain chemistry issue, not an automatic klaxon that This Person Is Miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:30 PM
3

Those young women are dumb enough to think "I'll change him! He'll marry me!"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:26 PM
7

And yes, women will walk over glass to get fucked by these better men even if it means they are just one of many. I must be a mini-pin then because I'd rather eat glass than be one of many.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:24 PM
5

If she continues to let it happen, she's rewarding bad behavior and deserves what she gets.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:22 PM
1

Since God would never ask me not to love, this is a dumb question. I love. I am free to love. I am more or less obliged to love. I think somewhere in there is the recognition that humans are by nature loving creatures, so to obey natural law is also to obey God's law -- to love.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 04:21 PM
1

Not my fault someone took my holy book wildly out of context.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:27 PM
12

My ideal man is a nice, middle-class guy, about 5'8", gorgeous to me but nobody's idea of Chad, who is on the same page of the same book as me about a lot of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:27 PM
1

Aristotle says wealth should be measured for what it adds to your life, rather than its exchange value; and that it is best to be middle class, because the lower class are too disgraced to rule even themselves; while the upper class are too spoiled to be ruled by anyone other than themselves, even when it's proper. I think this is the right way to be, but it is outside of your book so you probably won't consider it. That's narrow of you. Aristotle was also a wise man. Do I think that way about t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:25 PM
1

Who cares? Truly and honestly, why is this the focus of a conversation about a passage that was meant to imply more about spiritual riches than material ones?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:50 PM
10

I... don't. I'm sorry, but read the flair. You have me confused with someone who would go for a "liberated feminist modern lifestyle with tall rich Chads", or worse, someone who would have FOMO about, what, all the penises I missed out on touching? Pass. Also, I definitely wouldn't marry an incel chud. Talk about a rich fantasy life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:47 PM
11

That doesn't mean we have to approve
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:37 PM
1

That is not how the words said by Jesus work. Stop taking my religious text out of context. And yes, that goes for fellow Christians who preach exactly what you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:36 PM
2

As long as you're not attributing it to Jesus, you're good. The minute you say "Jesus said..." and proceed to misinterpret what was said, we have a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:34 PM
–

Where did I say they were the same thing? Perception is important, however, and sure, you can do the "empowered" thing and "just leave him, babe" if you're perceiving his earnest desire for you as profoundly unloving. I would probably decide to take a look at where we both were and try to come to some kind of middle ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:56 AM
3

I don't do that to other people's religious beliefs. I consider it rude to use something that is sacred to a person and turn it around to make a point that is completely the opposite, that would actually offend the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:43 AM
3

...I think you don't know what prosperity gospel is? It's this misguided belief that faith in God is going to make you rich, when God is about as anti-rich people as it's possible to get. [edit] And yes, "rich" means in all material ways; the spiritual riches, not the earthly ones, are what God intends people to value. I'm trying to have one conversation and you jumped in to have a totally different one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:40 AM
1

I can forgive this. In either direction. I'm afraid it's rather a side-effect of believing in a God who looked at a woman who was considered a slut in her day and saying "Neither do I condemn thee". This lie, in the grand scheme of things, is just him trying to figure out what he can trust me with. Not everyone is as secure as I am about their past.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:34 AM
–

I agree. Communication about it is key. But that communication shouldn't invalidate the very real need to still be sexually desirable to your partner after commitment and during difficult times.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:30 AM
1

Because prosperity gospel is a major problem for my religion, and is untrue to the very root of it? The Parable of the Talents, for example, is very much about taking the gifts God has given you and using them to make the world better, and that's why the guy who invests and makes his master richer is the winner there. His master is God, and the payoff isn't actual money, it's a better world.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:24 AM
–

If the sex dies in your relationship, something is badly wrong and maybe the two of you need to do something about it instead of buying into the gender war "I'm servicing him!!!" rhetoric. You're not. Part of the way a lot of us humans perceive love is to still be wanted sexually by our partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:20 AM
5

Words strung together don't make truth. You might as well be quoting Lord of the Rings.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:13 AM
–

while women can be mediocre in every way and still find sex partners easily That is not women's fault. You can have standards, too. You can lock mediocre women out of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:10 AM
–

You have a tremendous imagination. I've never once considered marrying a man who wasn't hot enough to fuck for eternity. I've also never been involved with someone who was insecure about my [counts on fingers] until recently, two partners... it's up to three now, l'horreur
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:09 AM
–

And that's just their truth. Married men still need to feel desired by their wives. It's actually rather important to show your husband that you still want to fuck him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:04 AM
–

That would require my having entered into any kind of relationship, even in the talking stages, with the intent to be fuck buddies. It may in fact shock you to hear that many women object to the concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 12:02 AM
–

When you put it like this, you make it sound like you're upset that you're not good enough to be either one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:59 PM
–

Nope. Never once. No need.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:56 PM
0

Then please stop misinterpreting the words of my Savior.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:54 PM
8

That's a little out of context. Are you a Christian?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:52 PM
50

Stop trying to make non-monogamy happen /meangirls
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:50 PM
7

If you two are very traditional, he will appreciate the pastry but not the offer to pay. :) I handle this by always carrying enough cash to cover the tip -- "Oh, but the service was so good, I want to make sure they know it!" It's a little signal that you want to contribute without spurning his generosity. [edited] I'm curious to know what was so bad about this advice? Thanks so much!
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/25 11:39 PM
0

YIMBY
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 11:45 PM
1

Both good points, and also, reassured about your treatment of lower-status women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 11:16 PM
1

[winks and giggles] shhh! <3
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 10:56 PM
0

Not my Prince Charming then :) Weirdly enough, all of the men I've ever been truly compatible with also had good heads of hair, and all of the could-have-beens that turned out to be not compatible were also bald.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 10:53 PM
2

What are people expecting to find there, teeth?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 10:52 PM
1

Time to be the change you want to see in the world, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 09:15 PM
1

Did it occur to you that there's room for nuance between the two?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:41 PM
1

You know, a little of that collectivist spirit would work wonders in the US. Considering what's good for more than yourself? God forbid.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:01 PM
1

I like it in the Regency romance context, where it goes a lot like /u/Makuta_Servaela paints it. Courtship is important, compatibility is important; you want to create a stable partnership that will last.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:44 PM
3

Why is it weird that I'm worried about both? God forbid I think men deserve better partners than women who should probably be 4B but are too addicted to cock to go through with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:37 PM
–

Do you think that a man willing to have sex with you makes you worthy of being a parent? What do you have to offer a child?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 06:24 PM
1

So findom girls make millions for posting pictures of their socks why does a white collar slacker making that much like why does this bother you so much ? Both of them are filth.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:57 PM
2

That is, wait for it, not okay. Women should be accountable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:47 PM
2

That's not right either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:44 PM
1

That's fair. I'm glad you have a balance, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:44 PM
1

I feel like that's, like, the bare minimum for a lot of people?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:41 PM
4

Back in the sixties, that's how my dad got an astounding amount of tail. He "moved into the dorm". He wasn't enrolled at the college.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:38 PM
2

Being physically attractive is not synonymous with having high RMV Ah, but then you talk about AFBB as a bad thing. :) Do you treat the lower SMV/RMV women as though they are lesser? I think that would put off even the most tolerant woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:31 PM
-2

I don't think it's fair to pressure anyone into anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:29 PM
4

Why do you not sit down with your husband and renegotiate the distribution of tasks? If you are the one with the greater burden career-wise, perhaps he should keep a little notebook or a planner that contains important social things.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:27 PM
4

There is, biologically, an especial issue if you target a pregnant woman's uterus. It is engorged and there is extra blood flow -- an injury there is likely to kill her unless someone basically performs an emergency hysterectomy on the spot. In that instance, I would indeed be saying "never mind the fetus, this woman could die".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:22 PM
4

I think you're right, although I am a touch concerned about men still seeking out sexual gratification despite being enraged with them. I wouldn't wish an enraged feminist on any man, let me put it that way, so for me the reverse is also a bit of a worry.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:19 PM
2

My mother lived the multigenerational thing, and I think her mother may have been better able to handle motherhood because she had a wider circle of family to help raise the kids. Maybe we should be looking to other countries to see what would help American women's birthrates rise. People who are truly childfree won't be swayed, but fencesitters or people who are childfree by circumstance will.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:03 PM
0

I take you about as seriously as I would a Chihuahua, given what you have said on the subject elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 09:32 PM
3

My perception of my own worth depends in part how I am viewed by others, yes. That is fairly normal for humans. Men are a significant subset of "others" to me because I would like to be married to one. If I am not marriage material, the solution is simply to say "Fine, but you don't then get to turn around and tell me to start talking into the pillow". I remove myself from the market, I remove all of myself because that is who I am when it comes to sexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 08:14 PM
3

I don't. I have nothing to hide. [examines nails] Next?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 08:12 PM
3

I don't care if it is internalized misogyny. It's my standard for who I am as a woman. If I am having sex, it is because my whole self is valued, not because I am convenient, not because my body is attractive, all of me. In a loving, trusting context that is monogamous. I don't care what other women think. They can do what they think is best for them. But when they claim to speak for all of us, it's a flat no. [edit:] Also, internalized misogyny is bad, but your flat-out misogyny here is apparen…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 08:08 PM
5

Speaking as a person who desires very much to be known as relationship material, and in fact to become a wife, I would be horrified to hear from multiple men that I was not good enough. I would likely stop dating altogether because casual sex isn't valuable to me. I know I can still be an upstanding member of the community as a walking fleshlight, but I'd rather save my dignity and not endure the walking fleshlight part.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 08:03 PM
3

It will work on women who like men who play video games. The rest of us will take a hard pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 07:35 PM
10

You pretend that your unlimited "hot guy hookup options" on dating apps mean nothing They do. Being selected for sexual use is not flattering. I am more than a fleshlight. When we men tell women the same thing I agree with you when you tell us the same thing, not my fault the sisters out here are hypocritical about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 07:24 PM
1

I actually am open to dating a man with no sexual experience, yes. I am not averse to learning and growing together because I remember what it was like to do that myself. I appreciated having a partner who was willing to let me explore. By our age (I am in my late 30s), he would likely not be a complete innocent to the topic of sexuality, so we could easily discuss what sounds like fun and what sounds like a let's-not-go-there. I intend to make it clear as soon as he discloses that he is a virgi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 07:20 PM
1

So, I read that as "the group should hold each other to it". But these would be people who joined the group knowing that this was the mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 06:31 PM
-6

So, one comment, no doubt cherry-picked to make your point, isn't convincing me that all the super-woke women in here who love casual don't exist. Also, morally speaking, the man worth respecting is the one who places another person's well-being above getting sexual experience for himself. You can absolutely know everything but what you want sexually in a partner, and grow together sexually if the rest is there. Dehumanizing unattractive women is just not the look.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 06:30 PM
3

In fairness, women don't get called incels and misogynists.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 04:37 PM
1

being shoved out of white collar office jobs due to AA and DEI The one man who didn't get hired in my workplace because a woman was the better candidate would have been just as terrible if he'd been female. It was his utter disrespect for everyone "beneath" him. The female candidates both presented a team-based approach to leadership. The male candidate came in with machismo blasting. Perhaps we would have hired him had he not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 04:37 PM
-3

and keep chasing casual pussy until you get an "experience", which might suck for less-attractive women that want a serious relationship Hi! Can you explain how less-attractive women that want a serious relationship would be harmed by this? I know you're not telling me that you would use one to get what you can out of her, then abandon her, when there are plenty of women out there who want casual sex (exhibit A: this sub whenever a woman suggests that women don't like casual).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 04:33 PM
2

'Behold, just now the world became perfect!' spoke every woman when she obeys out of entire love. Such truth. Should be writ larger.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 04:27 PM
1

You know, fair? Thank you for responding with such kindness. I agree that going into the logistics would be a better plan than trying to convince people of ideology being right or wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 04:23 PM
1

Sincere question: where did OP say they want to remove the choice for other people? I read a proposition that like-minded individuals should band together to support each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:30 AM
6

I recently had a client who had her most recent at 40+. Don't remember exactly how +, but definitely not a sweet young fertile Myrtle. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:26 AM
1

Hey, I spent a decade not dating because I thought I was over it as well. If you ever want romance again, it will be there, and if not, I still wish you the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:24 AM
1

Oh, darling. I'm so sorry. I didn't realise she was the one to reject you. That's unutterably painful. How long has it been? I have had some pretty deep scars from attempting to love, but with the right support I was able to heal and love again.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 02:11 AM
1

No-one. u/ThatBitchA made it out like the OP's proposition was altogether something not what it actually was. I merely sought to correct her understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:44 AM
-1

No-one is press-ganging unwilling participants into these groups, from what I understand. They would just be for those of us who aren't going to leave unless the problem is truly and honestly insurmountable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:11 AM
3

There are men who put in effort and it pays off, too. :) I've always preferred men over 35 -- I just finally happen to be of an age where women aren't pointing their hag fingers at me and shouting "DON'T DO IT, HE'S A PREDATOR".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:09 AM
–

Family lawyers are important, too. Especially those who function as attorneys for the child. And having a good trusts and estates lawyer in your back pocket is a real plus.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:05 AM
–

MIT gets you contempt From whom?! MIT is incredible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:04 AM
–

God forbid we want our potential future husbands not to be NEETs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:03 AM
–

Two of the sexiest men I've ever met share a profession with me. It only makes them more attractive (it is an altruistic profession that certainly offers no prestige and the pay is a joke).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:02 AM
–

It smacks of jealousy of actual brilliant men who are also good humans. It's amazing how much water "also good humans" carries with sane women -- no-one I know is dropping her panties for Elon Musk, even if he is objectively brilliant.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:00 AM
–

Only one woman knows that he has a cure for cancer. If that woman is me, he's getting BJs nightly because I find that kind of intelligence screamingly hot. Doing things that benefit society with it, even if no-one knows it? Oh my God, come to Mama.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:57 AM
2

The eternal dilemma: how do women know whether it's worthwhile to raise their N for you if you don't offer her a compelling reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:52 AM
3

It's not pathetic to marry young and have a lifetime of sex. It is pathetic to throw that away because you want to look cool to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:50 AM
5

I was actually sicker and uglier! More fertile, yes, but since I was never going to give anyone children, that would have been a terrible reason to get with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:45 AM
3

I think my hormones have been broken all along, I was interested in nesting when I was in high school :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:43 AM
3

It was bad Twilight fanfic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:37 AM
–

I haven't noticed a difference. I approach [edited to add: and respond] if I find them attractive enough to do so; I'm not thinking about leagues or, for that matter, dating as a zero-sum game. I'm thinking about whether this person could be the one I spend the rest of my life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 12:28 AM
3

I think that as long as you are connecting with him, at least in this vulnerable emotional time, you will have hope. You need to disconnect from your ex until you can look at him as just an ex, just a friend. So: no contact. You can do this politely, and if he gets upset about it, you will know that he was keeping his sexual options open for the future without wanting to actually have a relationship. (If he wanted to, he would.) You are each other's orbiters and that's not good for either of you…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/25 12:12 AM
1

Bless them, they weren't dying of heart disease and completely, obviously ferkakte.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 10:08 PM
2

Learning to accept graciously is the hardest lesson I shall ever learn.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 06:32 PM
1

Thank you <3
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 06:00 PM
2

living well, travelling, self care These are the only things influencers actually display. We have zero way of knowing they want the rest, and in my experience, the ones who put those things first on the list wouldn't understand the rest of the list if it came up to them and slapped them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:58 PM
2

where's my vomit emoji
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:56 PM
4

I would dispute the popularity part. Most people with two brain cells to rub together loathed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:54 PM
3

Thank God for that, some of us out here are vanilla as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:53 PM
6

Same, and I miss old social media where most of what you saw was your friends and family.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:51 PM
4

Because the realistic option is the commenter who said "Just pull the trigger then".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:45 PM
2

I wish you much joy of the life you have built.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 05:40 PM
2

Then I wish you all the happiness in the world actually pursuing those options, then coming back to tell us all about the sugar mamas you have landed. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:25 PM
3

Oh. In that case, I prefer to be part of the former. Kids are lovely creatures I simply cannot handle until they're adolescents. To your assertion, by the time men are my age, either they have chosen a woman with whom to reproduce or they've decided that they would like to be married without children. My [married] cousin and I are both more here for the animals; my mother's cousin married in her fifties to a man who apparently had not wanted children enough to date down in age to get them. One o…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 05:24 PM
2

A woman is not a gold digger for expecting you to carry your own weight. You are creating your own loneliness if you think in such extremes as "gold digger" and "doesn't care if I'm a NEET".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:15 PM
1

I apologize, but I just don't know that many men who have no chins? You can substitute a more attainable sort of man; there are plenty of people who post great selfies in the male fashion subs here, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:13 PM
3

Then I tell him, "Goodness, isn't it a wonderful thing that I have this emergency fund that's good for a year's worth of my expenses?" and graciously allow him to provide what he decides he would like to do. Life happens to all of us. It is foolish only to marry "for better" and not "for worse". But it is equally foolish to start out in "for worse".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:12 PM
2

His situation was complicated. His parents had passed around the time of the pandemic, and prior to their passing he had left work to support them in their day-to-day. They might have left him some money. What he had to offer was kindness, a solid moral grounding, and a similar worldview on many things for which I had been terribly lonely in the runup to initially meeting him. Similar cultural touchstones and all that. If I am looking back harshly, it is because I feel like a flaming idiot. I ca…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/25 05:10 PM
–

I mean, a lot of men like to style their hair too short and wouldn't know fashion if it bit them on the arse. They also think that beards are the coolest thing ever and this will always confuse me. Why? I've only seen a couple of actors pull off a beard well, and both of them were aiming for historical looks (1900s, 1940s).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 03:11 AM
1

joke's on you, then, because many women will not date a man whose employment status is not clear, we do NOT want to end up supporting you. We will swipe left.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:22 AM
–

I knooooow, like... it's a kiss, it's not sex, you should ask before intimate parts are involved but lips and tongues alone are not that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:10 AM
–

Okay, so the question makes a little more sense if you're taking consent to make out as consent to EVERYTHING.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:04 AM
–

Consent... to make out. Consent... to be kissed. Just lean in and do it, it's not sex ffs. I can back away and get out of it, no harm no foul.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 02:03 AM
–

I will say that style/styling/aesthetic is nine-tenths of the equation. Perhaps you could look at the type of man your, um, target audience wants to take to bed and be like him? I hear a lot of women like Timothee Chalamet, for instance, and then there are the Pedro Pascal fans, neither of those are terribly far out of reach.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:39 AM
–

I did. Serious nostalgia.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:30 AM
–

Last sentence is the real tea :D
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:20 AM
–

I believe men often evaluate attractiveness in other men through traits men themselves value and then assume that women rank those traits just as highly. They focus on traits they’re proud of (gym progress, height, income) while undervaluing what women are actually scanning for like facial appeal, grooming, and how a man carries himself socially. So many guys convince themselves they’re “7s” because they lift and have a job but women are quietly rating them a “3.” All this shows is that men's id…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:19 AM
3

Honestly, being with the wrong person would be a lot worse than celibacy. So thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:53 PM
2

I make 42K. It doesn't take much for the men I'm dating to be able to make that or better. I have said I don't care for six figures, six feet, or six inches. Am I hypergamous, then? Sure. But I'm hypergamous because I value things that tend to go with men who earn as much as I do or better. Not princess treatment, that's boring. Princess treatment for me would be art gallery dates, indie film dates, orchestra dates. Trips to libraries or bookstores. Cafés over bars unless someone cool is playing…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:52 PM
4

Or she could be a flaming cunt! I mean, it's entirely possible! But it's the percentage that takes me out about online dating. One percent of the people who are looking at me are thinking about more than my looks? One percent decided I was good for more than a night?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:46 PM
3

Woman here, and yes, it really is a requirement. "Hot" is good for a night, "stable and competent AND HOT" is good for fifty years' worth of nights.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:45 PM
2

They're more likely checking to see if you care about them. Because in addition to "personal concern," normal, non-desirable men also check for "sexual concern." Okay, thank you for elaborating on this. I'm not the person you were speaking with, but I'm interested in where the conversation was headed, so I agree that both are important. EVERY TIME the "sex material vs. husband material" debate comes up, the point is always that being "husband material" doesn't always require being sexy (at least…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:43 PM
1

You admit that without attraction first, there’s no relationship. That’s why men emphasize looks cuz attraction is the gateway. “Compatibility” only becomes a filter once the guy has already passed the attraction threshold. We have already stretched the topic so much now in this sub. Are there people who are delusional enough to think that attraction doesn't matter? But without compatibility, there's also no relationship, at least for people with two brain cells to rub together.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:31 PM
3

I mean, if he did something to indicate that he didn't actually want a relationship with me, I would lose interest so fast he would find himself dumped before he had the chance to drop me. But I'm not a person who jumps into bed with just anyone. I need to feel something more than tinglies. Women who listen to the tinglies are going to get out of that exactly what they put in.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:30 PM
3

Not being fat, I wouldn't know :D
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:25 PM
3

She could have swiped by mistake. I've done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:25 PM
2

What hobbies? There are some hobbies women are just not as into as men, with a few exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:21 PM
1

Please reject me based on more than my looks. It means you cared about more than my looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:20 PM
2

waiting to be approached by the women who like to do that (might require a certain “good looks threshold”, I’m not clear) In the name of honesty: it does. I need to be remotely sexually attracted to him to swipe on him. It's not fair to him if I can't bring myself to kiss him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:19 PM
1

If you honestly want my 400+ matches in one day, about four of whom -- not an exaggeration -- took the time to think about whether we were compatible, take them all with my blessing. I'd rather be fishing in the desert than drowning in the Great Salt Lake.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:16 PM
5

Going on Tinder even as someone who "has it easy" dating is demoralising. Tinder in particular is a hellscape.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:15 PM
3

the unspoken assumption that men are easier to satisfy with their stupid penises so should stfu. I have made this assumption in my dating past because of men's swiping habits. They didn't care who I was as a person. They looked at my picture, not my profile, and wasted both of our time. I'm sorry, but that is an aspect of app culture that needs to improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:12 PM
0

So am I. You don't think that women who work would like partners who also know how to work and value work? Women who have always worked have also always done domestic labour alongside it. Maybe some of us would like husbands who value work and know how to work, and will assist us in the domestic labour. Equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 08:25 PM
1

I would like to be responsible for the care and feeding of a husband, actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:13 PM
3

[points to post history] I'm working on it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:12 PM
4

Or maybe most men just never wanted the things that many women claim they did. My parents got married. My grandparents got married (they're even less looksmatched). If men really were holding out for the Salma Hayek of their day, a lot of us wouldn't be here. It follows that demanding they lower their standards wasn't the winning solution some women thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:11 PM
2

Fair to say, imo. Although the word patriarchy makes me break out in hives these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:07 PM
-3

Parity to me would be an egalitarian system, where everyone provides for themselves. The majority of women (i.e. non-White, middle-class Americans) have always worked. My grandmother wasn't exactly twiddling her thumbs on the farm...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 06:06 PM
1

Unfortunately, I am underpaid for my qualifications. Since I love the work I do, the men who attract me -- the men who are on par with me mentally and emotionally -- usually make more than I do. It is what it is, I'm not looking for six figures, six feet, or six inches, and I can look after myself well enough, but I will likely never achieve the same heights as many men who aren't even on my level. Because I chose work that would allow me to look myself in the face every day. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:23 PM
-2

Why should it swing from one extreme to another? Are men really so tired of carrying their own weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:20 PM
2

Some of us even appreciate certain masculine traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:19 PM
5

Financial independence in women is inversely proportional to the risk of being ripped off by her. I definitely have no reason to rely on someone financially if I am already taking care of myself. It would be nice not to carry the burden alone, though. Just because I can support myself doesn't mean I also consent to support him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:18 PM
2

She'll hookup with the guy she truly desires but can't lock down Well, that's just stupid. She gets one night of jollies plus perhaps an STI or a baby. She's better off finding her own two feet and never marrying at all than inflicting herself on someone she can't be passionate about. You're either all-in, or you're out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:16 PM
3

Could the word "alimony" be something they heard from their fathers? Anyone who's been divorced in the last ten to fifteen years knows it's "spousal support".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:14 PM
2

It's not his fault she's acting like an ass. Why should I expect him to change his behaviour when he's not doing anything wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:04 PM
6

I don't find them hot if they're that stupid. All the appeal just... dies.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:02 PM
1

If there are women doing this, then they are not ready to be getting into bed with another person. They need to be in therapy doing some serious work.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:57 PM
1

The point is when an extremely proud nation feels humiliated, a strong dictator unites all parts of society (corporations, labor, farmers, military, service workers, teachers, men, women, etc) to form a collective government where everything is controlled by the party/government with a specific aspirational utopian goal. True. This has definitely not happened yet, and may never. It would require a strong dictator, for one thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:53 PM
1

I am impressed you got ChatGPT to say "Women are not a monolith" at the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:48 PM
1

I don't do this. If my interest in a man is genuine, I'm not going to behave badly toward him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:46 PM
3

I don't believe anyone should be putting up with bad behaviour unless they want the sex that might result that badly. Don't reward bad behaviour with relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:24 PM
2

Thank you! I hope you are right, but if it turns out I am misreading him, I now know things about myself that are important to have learned.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/25 01:59 PM
1

thank you so much! <3 I feel like I'm truly living my best life. I have no complaints, just wishes!
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 11:44 PM
1

Oh, I do. You see, I write love stories. :) I go on hours-long writing jags where I'm just... putting down what I know happens next, I hardly have to think. I'm also on a major decluttering spree, and I'm sort of trying to organise my thoughts on my blog in case I can get a book out of it! I also need to suck it up and ask my friend C. to hook me up with an editor, any editor, because my existing finished novel wants revising.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 11:40 PM
3

I have plenty of places to put that energy that aren't him or random men I don't care a fig to know. For one thing, my mother needs some support right now as she works through grieving a friend. My dad and I can always go for a cruise in his fancy car. My bestie and I haven't videocalled in a hot minute. I will be hopping at work (where I also have friends!). I am protecting my energy, from strangers who only sap me instead of building me up.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 11:08 PM
2

The thing is I'm not interested in multiple men right now. I don't like much of what's out there. I could spend $30 to go on Hinge and do the thing, but also I just haven't got the appetite for it. I wasn't looking when I met him. I was basically putting it in God's hands and saying "Not my will but Thine" when it comes to this sort of thing -- being intentional about it has only gained me orbiters.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 10:52 PM
2

Truth, and thank you for speaking it. I'd like to get to the point where he sees me as an agreeable girlfriend. To that end, I'm not fighting him on ideas I think are really quite sensible -- when I say he's doing what is right for both of us, I mean I know this is a particular area where I am big-F Flawed and he has a much better outlook. He is definitely doing what is best for him as well, it's just that my idea of what is best for me and his idea of what is best for him happen to coincide nea…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 09:17 PM
2

When you point out he’s going the wrong way, what he hears is “she doesn’t trust me, she thinks im incompetent”. Necroposting because this sub needs more content. ;) Sometimes the respect just has to go both ways. I was on a date, he had offered to drive me, and so I accepted, even though I much prefer to get places on my own because I know the roads like an atlas. When we got in the car, he had his GPS going. Nothing unusual. I said, delicately, "Please let's make sure we're not taking any free…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 05:36 PM
0

So good. A tonic to the soul.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 05:12 PM
3

He's setting boundaries like "we can't be on chat all the time, I can't carry my phone at work" and "let's take this at a reasonable human pace". :) I don't have to pretend I don't want him, he knows I want him. I tend to feel things bigger than people are used to, and it's a tendency I need to rein in so I don't overdo it. I'm afraid I'm not pink-pilled, so the most I know about black cat energy is that I have a sweet and loving black cat who is curious and gentle. I like her energy. I don't be…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 01:48 PM
1

That's great. Love it, 10/10.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 01:41 PM
1

For your own sake, give him up. Clearly there is a values mismatch. Then focus on becoming the kind of woman you think a man deserves. This is nun mode. You are bipolar. Get it under iron control, on exactly the right meds, with a regular self-care routine that likely includes therapy. You are obese. Figure out why, then don't do that. Don't tell me it's the meds, either. I'm on a med that encourages appetite and weight gain, but human beings control their appetites. I know how not to listen to …
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 01:11 AM
1

JoeDee is ex-military stop it, he did not nickname himself Jody
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 01:04 AM
1

Exactly. Men who are on par with us, or even slightly behind us in education but on the same page everywhere else, want to respect us not just for the things we have in common, but for the special spice we bring to their lives. Little things like remembering what makes him smile and laugh, and when to let him get on with doing important things.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 01:03 AM
2

You can still have a career and goals outside of the home. But your husband is not relying on you financially. This is an understanding I am coming to. I would like a man to provide enough that we are not dependent on my income. I am currently in the talking stages with such a man and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm around a man who is confident and competent enough that I would never have to worry about money with him. Not coincidentally, he's holding frame and setting bounda…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 12:57 AM
4

I am an unmarried childfree red pill woman, but I would love to see DINK red pill content because it's so aspirational!
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 12:39 AM
1

I've fallen down a Feminine Frame rabbit hole. Oh dear. :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/25 12:02 AM
7

I feel like being a jolie laide has really helped me in this respect. Men know how to be friends with me without automatically pursuing me. Who knew it was nice to be a solid 6?
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 09:32 PM
2

You get there by building a life you enjoy and look at a man as only being welcomed into your life if they add to it. There’s way too much desperation and that’s why people are seeking out these crazy relationships (ala 90 day fiance) that in the end don’t make them happy and in fact add to years of suffering. I'm quoting this to point it up. One consequence of my year of nun mode/growing up has been that I learned how to be very, very happy with my life and to appreciate it even during the hard…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 08:31 PM
1

Jenneapolis recommended Coach Lee for situations where you're dealing with your ex and want him back -- just passing on her recommendation!
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 08:20 PM
20

I have found that focusing on the positive platonic relationships I've had with men really pulled me out of "men are pigs" territory, which is a necessary step if you want a positive romantic relationship with a man! Thus far? I would say "yes, there's a correlation".
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 08:18 PM
2

39, and he's in his mid-50s.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:14 PM
3

Yes, it is. I accept full blame here.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:14 PM
2

n fact, if a woman delays sex to avoid risk to her partner count, because a low count makes her more attractive, just who is this low count making her more attractive to? It makes her more attractive to other men. It does nothing for him. He of course expects to increase her count by one, because he wishes to be that one. If she hedges, then she is saying to him "I don't want to risk being less sexy, or less commitment-worthy, to the next guy." Oh my God. I can't believe how true this is. Or tha…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:31 AM
2

I'm definitely angling for offline. I hope to see him this weekend (he has a cold and doesn't want to get me sick, but he wants to see me, too). This is a risk. You're 100% right. I've been beating myself bloody -- only figuratively -- because he wasn't #1 when he should have been. He's that rare combination of heart of gold, brilliant mind, and good looks that gets my motors revving. (If you want an idea? Mark Rylance in Wolf Hall. I've always been a silver fox bitch.) I never thought I'd be th…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 04:01 AM
1

I initiated. We are local. I broke up with him for two reasons. First: at that time, I wasn't sure I trusted him to be able to take care of himself financially. Second: I was hung up on my female best friend... who is not local and who went on to date a man, then declared that she was certain she was asexual after all. For what it's worth, a year later he isn't broke (suggesting he has managed very well, I have no real idea of his finances) and my best friend is firmly just a friend. In fact, we…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 02:57 AM
2

I definitely do not want to play games. Not consciously. The only game I'm interested in playing is so not for kids and involves sausages and the art of misplacing them. I said I was done being self-righteous? For the first time in eleven years, I don't want to wait on sex. And I was one of the most nose-in-the-air low-N-counters here! [edit:] Yes, of course I want a relationship. I just don't want to withhold when both of us would probably be a lot happier if I didn't.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/25 02:23 AM
1

That's fair reasoning; I didn't know whether you knew them, and part of what I do involves thinking of ways for clients to connect to resources so I am constantly pulling ideas out of the ether.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 03:30 PM
2

I hurt for both of you and the little girl, too. Please know that my most sincere wishes for a good outcome are with you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 09:49 PM
8

By profession, I am familiar with child custody battles. What he's going through is likely to be unimaginable pain for him. I've seen men who dealt with the emotions involved by checking out of feeling. They just... close up. And sometimes they give up on defending their own interests, just to have it over and done. I've also heard a lot of single parents describe the court process as something the other parent seemed to be using as a blunt instrument against them. Some combination of this might…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/23 04:30 AM
1

Agreed that finding men in the church isn't what it used to be! Deferring to your experience dating in that setting; anyone who goes to church near me is either married or old.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 07:11 PM
93

FemaleDatingStrategy is over there. The red pill is about more than getting a free ride from a man. We don't treat men like walking wallets in exchange for sex.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:25 PM
4

OP, don't watch this video, it's Kevin Samuels. Nothing he'll have to say will benefit you in any way.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:22 PM
4

There is a pattern of woman leaving relationships, becoming Christian and wanting to save sex for marriage. With respect, this does not appear to be the phenomenon we are seeing. OP was Christian prior to choosing to leave an abusive marriage. Knowing this, would you change any of your advice to her?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 06:21 PM
2

Ohhhh wow. I'm sorry. Yeah, no, if a man tries to treat you the same as someone who left to "find herself" or something, he doesn't deserve you. Stand tall and non illegitimis carborundum. You are absolutely doing what's right.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:06 PM
3

With your families, I'm guessing. I live with my parents. (The rent really is too dang high.) I think if I had been living with someone for a year, they would see us as a unit already, and ask us both to come home, but then if I live with someone for a year, we are either engaged or discussing marriage. Has bf not brought up marriage to you?
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:03 PM
0

I guess I don't think of emotional affairs as sufficiently real to care whether a partner of mine has one! And that's a me-thing, not a RP pearl of wisdom. What I tend to care about is whether what they're doing takes away from our relationship. If they aren't taking something away from our relationship -- if nothing goes missing -- then I tend to be pretty OK with it. It's when what is mine is impinged upon that I get snappish.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/23 01:41 AM
9

Wait. Two people in a one-bed one-bath is more expensive than... two people in their own studios?
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:51 PM
1

Why did you part ways?
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:28 PM
5

Anzac seems to have meant, and forgive me if I'm wrong, that there is always one jerk in the comments section who finds a way to blame a woman for her own maltreatment.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:14 PM
5

When they tell you their truths, believe them. He's done. He's been telling you in so many ways. His family isn't supportive of your marriage, either, and it sounds like the kids just want the agony to stop. Do what's right for them.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:12 PM
2

Unless you genuinely want it, would be my caveat. I'm a cheap date because most of what I like is on the appetizers part of the menu.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 11:09 PM
2

OP can get with the other separated people on the dating apps!
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:56 PM
8

If he's religious, he might wait. But that would depend on why the marriage broke. Now, you don't owe us the why of it, but if it's anything not involving abuse, addiction, or adultery, a lot of guys (even the religious ones) are going to treat you the same as any never-married non-virgin. They'll wonder why you're making them wait, if they want sex, and they might not be willing to stick around, if they really are serious about reserving sex for marriage. They also tend to be conservative about…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:55 PM
-5

Is he sleeping with her? Because if he's not sleeping with her, she's inconsequential. He comes home to you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 10:52 PM
21

vipassana retreat, ayahuasca retreat manifested a very high paying part time job that lasted a year I think you're 22, first of all. And that he is 31 and he grew up on you. He didn't "manifest" anything, he went on meds for his mental health and probably figured out how to actually embark on a career. You are not there yet. And that's okay, but you need to think about whether you can be a lawyer's First Mate as a free spirit. "Dharma and Greg" was just a TV show.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 12:13 AM
5

You sound like you're still in the anger phase of your RP journey. You also sound like you're conflating men's RP, men's rights, and women's RP. What reason do you have to distrust this woman that I'm not seeing?
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/23 07:26 PM
23

Because a partner is just a walking ATM who occasionally contributes genetics to offspring?
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/23 04:44 AM
7

he does want a woman who is feminine, traditional in the sense of showing respect, taking care of the house, submitting, following his lead, but also a woman who gives her opinion with things, is not indecisive, can roll her sleeves up and do the work. he likes the idea of a women ‘wanting but not needing him’ (strong independent women?), and doesn’t want a women who solely relies on him for every need. Gorge, I have some news for you: that's a healthy view on femininity. Humanity, in fact. But …
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/23 02:26 AM
3

Even the nonreligious countries mentioned believe in "something greater" than themselves individually. This. When I was not actively religious, I was motivated by principles -- principles I find are, coincidentally, fundamental to the religion to which I came to subscribe, but which were not exclusive to them. Justice. The collective over the individual. The needs of those who lack over the whims of those who have plenty. I can match Bible verses to those now, but my faith in God has grown as I …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 12:54 AM
3

Which religion, please?
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/23 12:49 AM
1

Entirely agreed. I don't eat that much fish, so he'd have to be pretty enthusiastic about fish dishes. :D It will always be how their values come through in their interests that interests me, if that makes sense? And even some values I can compromise on. In theory I'm fine with agnostics and atheists; in practice, many of them are running from the God I am running toward, and don't have much tolerance for me. [shrug] Welp. Also, if your politics are moderate but you're making political decisions…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 11:35 PM
1

The apps make it so hard to see past the superficial. We put pictures of ourselves doing the things we love, and maybe don't stop to consider whether we expect our partner to love them, too -- or what we do expect our partner to love about us. I joke about swiping past pictures of men holding dead animals up like trophies, but the truth is that I'm never going to get along with someone who fishes for fun because I have ethics around what to do with your fresh-caught prey. If he's not grilling hi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 11:15 PM
2

Someone else mentioned that your posts break their heart, so I went looking. You were the one who said this: "He did tell me a few months ago during an argument that he didn’t know if he loved me anymore." Honey. If what you're commenting here is true, he was not joking.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:39 PM
1

If he doesn't want my mother coming to stay for the duration, I hope my future Captain is willing to nurture me for a little while, even if I have to blatantly say what I need from him. "Honey, right now what would make you my hero is a bottle of ginger ale and a snuggle with you."
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:37 PM
1

I have never, ever failed to attract men in spite of being a tomboy and liking masculine pursuits/hobbies. Going by what men on The Apps are claiming to want, I think a lot more of them want a girl like you than a more traditional girly-girl. Right now, a lot of my trouble is trying to navigate how to mesh well with guys who are mainly into masculine pursuits. Like... okay, awesome, you love fishing, camping, and hurtling down a hill on one or two slabs of wood, but I would rather not. Yet women…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:35 PM
2

Comments like “I’ll go back to my hole now”, the sudden change of mood/attitude etc. could be indicative of depression, or of dementia or other mental conditions as people age. I was just going to ask "How old is Grandma? Sounds like she might be a bit verkakte." Because yes, this absolutely happens.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:31 PM
1

Nothing about my faith makes me particularly trad. I'm an Episcopalian. We're the crazy progressive aunties of Christianity. I learned more traditional values -- not the current stereotype of trad, but more traditional than the 21st century norm -- from a relationship where they were actually completely devalued. I found myself craving everything I didn't know I wanted from a relationship and from a man.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:25 PM
2

Hold the phone -- sort of, kind of. Usually what an RPW wants is a man at the head and a woman slightly behind. A captain and a first mate. But every woman here is going to have a different idea of what that should look like, and what mixture of alpha/beta is right for her. Some women definitely want providers and some women want to be a strong part of the providing. RPW is a toolbox as much as an ideology. It's fine to want what you want, but that's one face of RPW goals -- there are other wome…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:18 PM
1

It's a lot more MRA than RPW to be constantly crapping on your achievements the way people are, I must say. I'm asking for clarification on this: is RPW inherently about men's rights? I was under the impression it was a sexual and relational strategy designed to get women the kind of relationships that we want, with a man at the head but a capable woman right behind or under him.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 09:14 PM
7

I do want to say -- I was harsh on you elsewhere, but this is honestly awesome of you, and I hope you find the Captain who allows that contribution to your parents' well-being to continue. Whether that's the man you're with now or a man you have yet to meet, I can't tell you. But you're a pretty determined woman, so I have to believe you'll make it happen somehow. :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 04:51 PM
4

And btw I do know a few 'career women'. But it's absolutely a minority. And most of them are truly 'built different' and not women that would be most men's first choice. I'm a career woman... but not a high-earning girlboss. My career is in the human services. I nurture for a (meager) living. This is a calling that seems to have come from no less than God Himself. I'm not married at 37, but I had a long relationship and then a long period of intentional celibacy. And yes, "omg The Wall" and "it'…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 04:48 PM
12

I realize you may not yet have the perspective to understand that people go to university later in life, but... people go to university later in life. Often because circumstances prevented them from getting their education earlier. Due to illness, though I began on time, I had to take so many breaks that I was 28 when I finally got my undergrad degree. My father was in his fifties.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 04:34 PM
6

these ladies actually deal with reality and true experience [edited] I just realized you're talking about RPW. Most of us would blanch in horror at the scenario you have presented. Millionaire tech guy with 100+ bodies who wants to date our daughter? Does any mother want her daughter to become Grimes?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 08:27 PM
1

Sure it's better to marry a conscientious brain surgeon or top lawyer, after all most people are looking for a husband, not to be an incubation vat for an Elon Musk designer baby. There absolutely doesn't need to be a "but" after this. Literally every woman I know would "settle for less" than a guy who has resources but nothing else to offer. Even the one who doesn't want a husband. She still wants her lover to be present in her world and to be a comfort when times are bad. Things Elon Musk appe…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 08:22 PM
1

There are men out there who REALLY want to meet your kids quickly There are men out there putting their children's faces on their dating profiles! Swipe left on those guys with prejudice.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 08:11 PM
2

Many times I’ve heard that wanting children will come naturally to a person when they’ve met their ‘soulmate’. No. People who decide they don't want children... just don't want children. They're not waiting for the right person, they just don't want children. This isn't a failure on your part. Accept that his goals are fundamentally different from yours and look to your own future.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/23 01:13 PM
3

If a man is attacking you personally, whether it be outright insults or passive-aggressive jabs, that is a sign of dominance, not leadership. It may also be a sign that he is not mentally healthy enough to be in a relationship at this time. I just had to Block With Prejudice because I was tired of the snarking, the cynicism, and the self-deprecation.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/23 04:41 PM
7

Could he be getting so much of his gratification from porn that he has lost enthusiasm for real sex?
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/23 04:36 PM
1

Okay!
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/23 12:09 AM
11

I think you shouldn't be telling a man, even if he is a relative, how he should relate to his future wife. If he wants to help his wife with the dishes, let him. It's not the end of the world. He and his wife will work out how the chores are split, and that won't be feminism, that will just be their relationship. Are you going to ask him to weigh in on yours when you have one?
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/23 11:26 PM
5

Have you considered getting new friends?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 03:23 PM
5

What I'm getting from this is that you might find healing in this opportunity to be domestic. Taking the time to heal is perfectly fine. You might not always feel this way, but you honestly have a whole lifetime to live out any dreams you discover. If you love learning, consider working with an online college to take at least a foundational, two-year course that will round off the education you didn't get. I got my Associate's and knocked out a lot of Gen Eds, and that showed me what I liked and…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/23 03:22 PM
4

You can do this. Your marriage is worth saving and can be saved. Sending love.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 08:59 PM
8

I knew a woman who took your advice. Her husband was a sex addict, and instead of addressing his behavior as something that needed to end, she agreed to open the relationship. Years later, I was his girlfriend/their third. And my presence drove her to drink. She was patently not okay with me being around, but because he would threaten to leave whichever of us tried to make him choose, she didn't have any recourse. Encouraging women to do something like this only creates damaged women. I will nev…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 06:07 PM
8

It was indeed not my intent to question her desire to be committed. I merely questioned her perspective on what he had done. I can't advise from a place of confusion. As you will note elsewhere on this thread, I now have answers and have been able to respond accordingly. And it isn't "leave him".
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 02:46 PM
6

You are ready to forgive and move forward -- and you're not minimizing that it was cheating. I would second the rec to go to r/asoneafterinfidelity and /r/loveafterporn for help. Right now, he is making great efforts to show that he has changed. He may need someone not yourself to help him stay accountable; sex addiction is like any other addiction in that regard. Since I'm not your husband, I can't tell you what he needs from you. This is for you to find out. Not figure out, find out. Sit down …
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 02:45 PM
18

It sounds to me like this guy wasn't as into you as he could've been, and that's not what you want. That's okay. If he's shaming you for needing reassurance due to your inexperience, he's not your Captain. The fact that he was pressed enough to write two paragraphs about how unreasonable you were being says more about him than you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 02:37 PM
35

That it wasn't really cheating as he never met up with any of them. That sounds like an excuse to me, OP. Do you accept it?
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/23 03:51 AM
5

I think the word you're looking for is older, she says with a smile; all men get old, so unless you're planning to divorce him when he hits 55...
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 07:56 PM
3

when I tell you I'm bawling laughing, bc how often do I see that in bastions of liberality although truth be told, this IS a safe space -- to be ourselves and not get wokescolded
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 07:55 PM
9

You really don't want to do that. I wish I didn't speak from experience here.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:12 PM
14

I say this with love: you have issues around what you're allowed to want. If commitment wasn't appropriate at your age, explain all of the women I know who have gotten it at 40+. Including a beloved colleague and my mother's favorite cousin.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:11 PM
3

You're defining "ambitious" in a specific way. I don't see your man as not being ambitious. I just think his ambitions and priorities aren't the same as yours. People who go into helping professions -- I speak from experience here -- aren't going to be moved by suggestions of entrepreneurship. Tempting us with higher wages isn't enough. It sounds like he wants his work to mean something that your idea of a good job for him would not. The problem, in other words, is you. Not him. Let him be himse…
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:04 PM
2

I messed my hair up but good with dye and I thought there was no coming back from it. Then I had a color correction from someone competent, and that was a year ago. My hair was only a little longer than yours is now. Now it is, no lie, below my collarbones. If your hair is damaged, treatments are out there, and you can grow out the damage rather than big-chopping. I would look into ways to cover what you don't like -- maybe you look cute in a really wide headband, for instance? Or a wrap/scarf?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 05:55 PM
2

Whatever it is? It's uniquely yours. Yes, you could be somewhere on the ace spectrum, and if you felt that the community would be helpful, you could claim that label. But you sound like you're also fine waiting for something worth your while. I will caution you that you have to be very comfortable with the possibility that you will end up alone. I went nine years not actively dating and -- no one was beating down my door. Even though men now tell me how lovely I am, I had to put myself in places…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 10:32 PM
2

It's never been a big deal for me. If you handle yourself appropriately on socials, there's not much to be lost by sharing them. You can use first and middle on socials if you really want to fly a little more under the radar.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 09:49 PM
3

Trying this again from the right account, lol: I never had to be deprogrammed because I wasn't programmed in the first place. That may be why I think very differently from people who escaped purity culture/intensely sex-negative upbringings. On considering the matter, perhaps the term I'm reaching for is sex-critical: we each of us have to know why we're having sex before we're in the moment. Not to mindlessly accept either purity culture or hookup culture, but to look at where we stand. I edite…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 06:09 PM
2

If you think in extremes, a la purity culture, yes, this is a known hazard. But if you've taken the time to develop an ethic around sex -- when it is appropriate and when it is not -- then you can absolutely enjoy yourself in bed.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 04:28 PM
6

It sounds like you're worried the most about what he could do with your information -- so let's think it through. It's usually pretty safe to share socials, because if a guy is harassing you on those, you can block and report. If you're worried about your last name being out there, Google yourself and see what happens. If you worry that you are still too identifiable, hold off on last name for now. I don't hand out my address, but I do tell people generally what I do (not always where I work). T…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 04:26 PM
3

everyone threw this label at me because I am not like everyone else but it may just boil down to the fact that I have morals & need a solid connection for it to present itself. Thoughts? You just told my story. Literally, when I mentioned not being sex-positive to my super-liberal friends, they suggested I was on the ace spectrum. Maybe I'm demi, maybe I'm just careful and have a strong sense of morality [edited: an ethic around sex that is Not Theirs]. But there are real asexuals out there who …
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 04:12 PM
2

Better outcome, in that they want to be in relationships with me, but sadly online guys have been dishonest with me - until this guy? I mean, he looks like his pictures 😂
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 02:25 AM
4

I don't. I take seriously the number of interactions I have with men on dating sites, and since I seem to have no problem getting the amount of dates I want, with the kind of guys I'm into, I figure I'm not too much of a hag.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 02:12 AM
5

It was... Gross. Typing all of this out is gross. I feel gross. Hey. If you need to talk, been there done that. Felt gross. Willing to let you feel in my general direction. Sending Jedi hugs.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 01:31 AM
4

I feel for you. You really thought you were doing the right wifely thing by coming on to him, and here he is not happy about it or able to perform. Give yourself grace, mama. Sex lives drift and flow. Once a week is actually considered up there, especially postpartum, so you're doing great. You're not failing at anything. I'm sorry that you're not fully satisfied in bed right now, but he'll come around. He loves you. He's going to realize he also desires you. If you can gently encourage him to s…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 01:06 AM
1

Okay, so I know that babies cry. I've never had one, but I'm pretty sure they cry for a hot minute... or in my case, as Mama said to me, the first two years of my life. Sleep dep is real for new parents. If he's waking early to go to work, and maybe hearing baby cry in the night, his sleep is broken and generally of miserable quality. That'll have an effect on libido, I think!
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:59 AM
2

So, that's a pretty well-buried lede. :) Everything changes for new parents! It's not only women who have to adjust. How much sleep are the two of you getting? How much time not catering to baby? Does he work? Do you? Eight weeks in most English-speaking countries is "just off mat leave", so if you do work, how have the two of you adjusted to that shift?
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:38 AM
2

It's not denying him sex if you back off on initiating for awhile. Denying him sex would be turning him down. It's not about getting you to take the L, either, this is not a men's RP "damned if you do, damned if you don't because you're a woman" community. Have you tried asking this same question in marriedredpill or redpillwives?
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:34 AM
6

If you want to date Christian men, talk about Christ and the Bible with them. Surely they'll be aware that Jesus defined marriage as being between TWO people only.
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:30 AM
3

I'm deeply sorry that you had to find out that you don't like casual sex through, apparently, having more of it than you wanted to. This is the lie modern culture tells to young women: it's okay to screw around! You're never going to regret your hoe phase! Well, you seem to be regretting yours. The only thing I can recommend for you, since dating seems to go hand in hand with sex for you, is to stop dating altogether until you have yourself more together. You said, "I tend to put other’s feeling…
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/23 12:20 AM
3

So, are you attractive enough to merit a 6-foot athlete? Or if you were honest with yourself, would you own that a reasonably slender man of 5'9" or 5'10" is exactly what you deserve? Men aren't going to be established at under 27. I hope that's not something you're looking for, either, because they need time to grow into their lives.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 11:11 PM
1

Also completely fair. I must be a lot more trad than I thought. Behold, the liberal tradfemme. 🤣
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:15 PM
4

See, a woman who is serious about waiting had better not behave like a whore with him. I don't, and there are no photos of me at parties anywhere. With a N of two, I think I can safely wait until I feel ready. But I'm also behaving like a lady the whole time, and dressing the part, so he knows I'm different. And I don't mind missing out on a "great match" who can't respect my need to wait. The right match for me is also different from the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 10:05 PM
1

Yeah, agreed with you there. If it's truly arbitrary to you, reconsider your motives for delay. A steady relationship with love and trust is the only context that makes me feel safe; I also know that once I feel safe, it's hard to stop me showing my love in that way. For people who aren't demi or who are sex-positive, I imagine there are fewer barriers to sex.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 09:43 PM
2

There's such a difference between having sex with a man you have vetted, love, and want for your own husband and a man who is asking you to do it before you are ready solely to gratify him. Maybe the man I'm looking for knows that love is mutually sacrificial. Who would he rather go to bed with: the eager or the frightened and reluctant?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 08:23 PM
4

Why do you believe that sex is the cornerstone of romantic love? To me there are so many other factors involved - that's why I don't sleep with men to prove anything. Anyone can have sex, and many people do so without love being involved.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 03:11 PM
71

Okay. You're in a state of shock right now, and understandably: your former life is gone. You need more help than a subreddit can give. Yes, even this one. Right now, you need to put femininity on the back burner in favor of the First Mate role: you're the Captain's second-in-command, and when the Captain is temporarily incapable of Captaining, while your Captain gets used to his new reality, you need to learn a lot more about how to guide the ship. Use all the social services at your disposal. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 12:11 AM
7

I'm probably closer to her age than yours, and I say let her be. RP is a strategy to gain the relationship we desire, with the Captain of our dreams. If she seems to have exactly that -- why does she have to change? Maybe her Captain likes the way she dresses and doesn't want her to show anything off. Is she warm? Is she nurturing? Is she his soft place to land? Good job, Mama!
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/23 11:21 PM
7

he will tell me things about what he used to do, such as cleaning his entire house each week despite working 12 hour days, and I am looking around my place and discouraged by the condition He lied about his work situation. You can pretty much depend on this being a lie, too.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:53 PM
9

Okay. This man lied to you about something fundamental, and caught you possibly during a time where you were vulnerable. What about this situation is healthy? I don't advise women to leave except when he's demonstrated what an awful Captain he would be. And he has. Amply. If you marry this man, this is what you will get. For better, for worse. And you are at a point in your relationship where you might want to start making some decisions about whether to get engaged or call it off. In your shoes…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:52 PM
2

Sweetness, I want to see you and your husband survive and thrive. It sounds like you're invested in your marriage and family, so I'm going to be invested with you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:49 PM
7

I would seriously talk with him about what pressure he's under and what that's doing to him. It sounds like the pressure is the biggest problem. Everything he's doing stems from pressure on him: pressure to keep up with this single male friend, pressure to live up to unrealistic standards that podcast guys are presenting him with. Possibly pressure around keeping you and your kids happy, so maybe the two of you need to evaluate exactly how much you need to be happy and whether you can be happy w…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:31 PM
6

A, podcast guys are not real. They're creating an image they're selling to men like your husband, who have real pressures and worries. You cannot trust an influencer. B, strong male friendships have a positive effect on your man's ability to fulfill his duties and role. This is not a "strong male friendship". C, getaways are one thing, but getaways where he basically forgets who he is? That's symptomatic of deeper issues within himself. Maybe he needs help resolving what that strict upbringing d…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 11:01 PM
2

This friend is not living like he wants kids and marriage. How does his GF feel about his lifestyle? I wouldn't put up with it. There must be other married people in similar life situations somewhere. I don't buy that your husband is a unicorn. Regardless -- the problems here are the friend and the pressure combining to make him pursue hedonism rather than actual solutions. He needs to deal with the pressure. Something's gotta ratchet down in his world. Is there a lifestyle he feels he has to ma…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:54 PM
15

This new male friend sounds like the worst possible influence on him. He should be finding friendship with other married fathers. After all, men advise married mothers to stick to their own kind because they know that single and mingling girlfriends are bad news. Are the two of you at all religious? Where do you find community?
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:45 PM
10

He hasn’t worked during this time and I am the sole breadwinner. Why? RP women vet their men. I vetted one out after he revealed that he had... heavily implied having a job but nope, he was out of work, writing a book, and planned to take on law school so he could fight gerrymandering or some nonsense. Why did you vet this one in if he's been out of work the entire time you've been with him?
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:40 PM
10

This is the husband who went off on a boys' trip not so long ago and got off his face on shrooms? I recognized your username. Does your husband go on boys' trips as often as you seem to imply? I reiterate what I said to you last time: a Captain stays with his ship when it's not shipshape. I honestly think if you're stressed and working two jobs (family business + mothering), he needs to stop going on the trips.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 10:38 PM
3

The esthetician who did my last facial blew my mind. That's a level of caregiving no-one has provided for me in my life. That's worth doing every few months if you can spare the cash.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 12:03 AM
5

Might not be a popular suggestion with the RP folks. Why would masturbation be against RP advice? To my mind it's the perfect solution to wanting orgasms but not hopping on the cock carousel. Rip one or two out, what's the harm? RP isn't conservative evangelical.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 12:01 AM
3

Eventually I think you adjust to it I adjusted to not having sex or kissing. I live at home, so there's plenty of hugs to be had (we're a very snuggly family). When I can't hug a human, I definitely haul the more tractable of the cats into my arms for a quick cuddle -- and of course there's always a cat around when I'm sleeping, any warm butt will do.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 12:00 AM
13

I don't think you can expect someone to make the best interpersonal choices when they're preoccupied with how good the carpet feels. I don't think getting to a state where you're preoccupied with how good the carpet feels is defensible when your home is in a shambles. As his was. And it's really inappropriate to equate having a spa day with being off your head on shrooms for a wild weekend with the boys.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 09:35 PM
19

I don't know, I'd say not liking your husband running off to get stoned with his buddies is pretty reasonable. Especially if he's leaving you to mop up a mess. A Captain stays with his ship when it's in peril.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 09:31 PM
7

I don't know why you're being downvoted because you're right. Maybe not according to men's RP, but we are not men. We are women. We cannot take it anywhere, anytime; our bodies were made to need things like lubrication, whether natural or artificial, and a certain warming-up so our vaginas would stretch to accommodate a penis. What is the world coming to when we can't acknowledge biological reality?
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/23 12:30 AM
8

Paywalled! I'm not paying to see someone who looks terrible in whatever she may be wearing.
/r/AntiFeminists15/11/23 12:09 AM
3

Accepting responsibility for your life and your choices is how you know you're a woman, not a girl. I'm super glad to see you pulling up your knickers and getting to work. Change radiates from the centre, so remember who it all has to begin with. You can do the thing!
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 10:31 PM
8

Sure! Simply put, when every whim of ours is met with a "Yasss, queen!", we lose all humility and forget that anything we do is wrong. But when others quietly check us in our thinking, and don't validate us every time we declare something ("Mum, Dad, I'm a half-fae dragon") we learn to see sense and reality.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 03:58 AM
6

It's possible you are no longer a new shiny. It's also possible that the strain of being far from home and doing his job is getting to him, and since you are so new, your relationship is not yet his place of peace. If he's gotten aggravated with you about the texting thing, STFU and wait for him to get back to a place where he can be more communicative (both literally and figuratively).
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 09:15 PM
15

My friends. I can’t relate to them anymore. It worries me. They are all in that “child free” philosophy and all want to be the “fun wine aunt” which is all fine except whenever I’ve had marriage issues they have been very aggressive about “leave him, you don’t need a man” etc. These are toxic women. You don't have to be a rabid wine-swilling "get the bag" 304 to be childfree. I'm living proof. I have no desire for young children of my own (wouldn't mind being a stepmom to 13+, so maybe I'm not t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 09:03 PM
4

I just took the reddest-pill tack I could muster up! Red pill women are strong. We know our limitations, but the weakest of us is still made of sterner stuff than those sad blue-pilled girls. That's why we need good Captains. So recognize that you are not a sad blue-pilled, blue-haired wino with an unnatural relationship to your pets. You're a woman looking for a true match to your nature.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 04:24 PM
6

Mercy is not weakness. Mercy raises us above our animal instinct to gut our enemies. Mercy is not a fawning, "oh, it's okay, there's no harm done here" -- it's "You have done wrong. I see that, I acknowledge that, and I need you to acknowledge that. But if you don't or can't, I'm not going to sink to your level. I'm going to stay classy."
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 03:50 PM
8

Of course it's different for men and women. We're both looking for the optimal situation... for us. So for men, that might look like polygamy. But for women, it looks like hypergamy: we trade up. And honey, if my partner were acting like the scrub you describe, I would be looking. He's acting low-value right now. I almost never say this to women -- we normally think far too highly of ourselves -- but get some self-worth! "I've already apologized, I don't know what else you want me to do". You've…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 03:43 PM
10

maintaining a traditional relationship which is very important to my boyfriend he mentioned we were in a one sided open relationship because him and I had a conversation about it once and he got confused on whether he had permission or not These things are incompatible. What he is asking for is a relationship in which you behave according to a set of rules that he dictates, and he does not himself follow. Ask yourself if you can respect a man who is so morally inconsistent.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 02:27 PM
7

I recommend The Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong. I mean, I recommend it all the time, but it's what's called a didactic novel -- it teaches women how to turn from seeing men as scum to understanding them better and learning to appreciate them.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 11:46 PM
10

Very much this. They're both dogs with fleas. Avoid at all costs.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:55 PM
19

I had a relationship where I had to be his personal porn star. It's not as fulfilling for me as it was cracked up to be. If he hasn't got the self-control to avoid degradation and sex workers, then he's not my Captain.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/23 06:53 PM
2

They don't all do that, though. They don't all go to New York to consume. A friend went to New York to start his life over. The woman he eventually chose was a plain, kind-spirited friend of his family. Even I outglam her, and you know I side-eye that pink pill stuff. But he had friends himself, and I find it hard to believe that they had nothing in common with him. He didn't go to work at Goldman and make 500K. He went to work at IKEA and make enough to survive. He humbled himself. He had a JD …
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:49 PM
3

OP is approaching this like a man. I'm not sure Subject-Scientist is far wrong here.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 10:32 PM
2

I will tell you my understanding of God, and then you can tell me why you don't just convert and be done: The highest laws of all laws are these -- that you love God, and you love others. From these all of the rest of the commandments derive. Thus, when you honour your parents, as you say you must and as filial piety commands, you love. You fulfill the law. When you promise to care for them at their deaths as they desire, even though their traditions are not Christian, you are doing a Christian …
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:53 PM
2

How do you know? You have one married man's word to take on that. But what if he's not the kind of guy who would be best for you?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:31 PM
1

What about your own family's traditions? Do you derive no comfort from them? New York is a large city. There must be someone who shares them.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:10 PM
1

I think you need to decide what kind of man you want to attract. Only a certain kind of man, regardless of location, wants a woman who is high maintenance. Most men are actually thankful for a woman who can deal with her own hair, paint her own nails (which are of a sensible length), and look good in less than a full beat face. Do you want a man who puts so much emphasis on the superficial? Because it's frankly untrue that they're all like that. Even in New York.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 09:09 PM
2

Oh! It just occurred to me -- you would be well-suited to someone who practices "granny religion", you'd be a hit and a half in New Orleans where they mix Christianity with folk witchcraft.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 07:58 PM
2

Do you live where there are winters? And are you comfortable branching out from pants?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 05:48 PM
7

I plan to look at my Captain with awe, respect, and the lust that's bound to engender in me. Some would call it a kink; I think it's the natural order of things! Very much it should be genuine, because just like faking orgasms, faking lust for your man is a killer. I can't speak to the last three bullet points, but I wanted to chime in where I actually could. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 05:13 PM
2

Vindicta is over there
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 04:01 PM
2

As for why I'm considering hanging out with religious people. My married friend told me I'm undateable and have to "go Evangelical" because I don't want to fork within the first 3 dates. So, he suggested it. Mainline Protestants might be a better bet. Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian. Quakers and UU are great too! But the further you get from tradvangelicals, the more likely he is to be "sex-positive" ("Women should always be DTF!!!"). I'm more interested as to why your married fr…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:54 PM
6

I would try picking up the cooking and cleaning, then. If he marries you, you two can consider having you be a SAHW, which would free you to do the things he really values you doing, if the finances work.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:40 PM
7

INFO: Do you work? Full-time or part-time? If you work part-time, and he works full-time, it's obvious to me that you should be picking up the housework. It's something he seems to want, and has said that if you do this, he will marry you. So...? If you both work full-time, and your income is barely making a dent in your bills, you both need to sit down and look at the finances. Maybe it makes sense for you not to work. Or to just work part-time. And if he truly backs out of his commitment to ma…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/23 02:19 PM
9

INFO: What keeps you in NYC? If the market is so hard and the cost of living so high, why would you rather stay there than find somewhere that secular men are more reasonable? Do you prioritize your location above finding a husband? No shame if you do; I do, but my family and my livelihood are here. If I lost my parents tomorrow and all of my job options went into the toilet, there would be no reason to stay. Believe me, it isn't the dating market. Also INFO: what about you makes you particularl…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/23 11:59 PM
5

I apologize for the misunderstanding. In my experience, a man who is willing to pursue after any kind of "no" is not a good man. I have been guilted and coerced into acts that were degrading to me, part of his pornsick world. I was also very young. I learned that for me, at least, the only yes is yes. People who can live on the edge of consent need to be absolutely sure the rest of their house is in order. Seduction games are for solid relationships where no-one has ever abused anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 11:20 PM
2

You sound to me like a "not right now". Many of us who are "never ever" on the subject have reasons that are not as subject to change. For example, I gradually gained the understanding that my body was inhospitable to a growing fetus because I needed medications that could not be stopped for the duration of pregnancy and breastfeeding. Further, I had a revulsion for at least the first trimester of pregnancy, and couldn't see myself being thrilled about the rest of it. I never had a desire to exp…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 11:17 PM
13

What you're describing is still above RPW's pay grade. I suggest reaching out to a therapist. Also, unless it's your kink, legally no means no, not "let me hound you until you give in just to shut me up".
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 07:19 PM
8

10, which to me is dead-on normal BMI with a small cushion. Like me. Then, in order, toned, slightly overweight, slightly underweight, and all of them should know how to dress it. And if you cannot be one of those, be honest about it. No fatfishing. It isn't just women who show up to dates looking nothing like their photographs.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 02:11 PM
4

.../s?
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 06:09 PM
1

I will work on attracting those people into my life. Starting tomorrow, after I've slept some. 😴
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 05:23 AM
2

Some days I feel like the only sex-negative woman in any given room. I swipe left on anyone who has the "sex positive!" chili pepper on his profile because I know he's doing it both for male feminist points and to make sure she does whatever degrading thing he wants, when he wants. Give me a moderate man who can lead a relationship and not expect me to make myself vulnerable before monogamy and trust - love would be nice, tbh.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 05:09 AM
2

I don't believe you've missed anything. And as I find my politics shifting, I think I will find my choice of men opens up much more - there are a LOT of moderates out there, turns out! A lot of indies, a lot of apolitical.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/23 04:02 AM
2

Thank you for your clarity. And if you have suffered a loss - I'm so very sorry!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:15 PM
1

Oh, wow! What an amazing love story for you! I'm really excited that it's working out and you are able to trust that things will work themselves out. Your baby might need to be born where they are to have that closer connection with their brother!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:09 PM
2

I then said just because I like doing it doesn't mean I want to be taken advantage of though. Perhaps it is wise to second-guess what we're saying, as women, especially if we know that we have a habit of going off. When we think about what to say, two things are important: Is it necessary? Is it kind? I don't think this part of the conversation fell under either. There are ways to phrase "I feel like I could use help with a few things" (for example, like that!) that won't imply that It's All His…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:54 AM
5

I hope I meet the man who makes me want to follow him off a cliff, I'll put it that way! You're so right about not being able to quantify or negotiate these things. When it's right, I might be able to do as my mother did and follow him across an ocean.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:45 AM
3

Thank you. I will try to focus on the hope and not the despair. I will lift mine eyes unto the hills and all that. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:42 AM
3

I do have options here (an astounding amount given age!). And you're right about a husband's promises. I would definitely vet for a man who would do his best to provide for us both. But when I say I'm specialized... I have looked at other places I could potentially move for reasons, and nothing. Two states have organized networks of non-lawyer mediators and support staff. Two. Canada uses court mediators, which... I could at least take training and end up being one of those. But darn if I didn't…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 03:00 AM
6

Yeah, if he's talking retirement then I'm assuming we'll plan for that together. Then I won't mind so much. Dreams are wonderful things to have and I'll try to stay open to his.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 02:54 AM
5

With regards to 1, I want the kind of man who can make a living here. I genuinely don't need wealth or chase it. Big shrug at the people chasing big houses and high earnings - I want us to be able to live with a cushion for emergencies, but not live large. Thinking about 2, that is and it isn't helpful. I mean, no, nobody wants to be told to stay where they don't belong, but if I make it clear from the outset that I'm tired of starting lives over, that I need the stability that here provides, he…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/23 02:51 AM
3

Now after years of partying being in my late 20s I obviously don’t have to worry about men like before LOL I wouldn't be laughing. We talk a lot about how women don't need to fear the Wall, and generally they don't -- unless they do exactly what you did! You stripped yourself of all femininity and took to drinking and smoking. Now that you've realize you want a man who will commit, you're looking for ways to turn back the clock. You can't do that. You can make the best of who you are now, but it…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/23 04:57 PM
5

You'll come off as you, the woman he loves. And they will love you because they see you as he does.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 05:41 PM
5

This is a dry shampoo that dusts on, instead of being sprayed. I'm sure it's not the only one of its kind. Also, your scalp can be trained not to produce as much sebum... if you stop washing your hair daily. You claimed to need to look business professional, but if I'm reading correctly, there are times when sleeveless is OK? Do we not do blazers with business professional anymore? I am also an expert at long sleeves in high heat; linen does the trick for the home setting, and if you're just com…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 04:31 PM
3

So, dance tights in your skin tone will do a lot to disguise any leg hair you don't have time to shave. Definitely ask your husband about laser hair removal, but it's okay to find an interim solution. If you're worried about arm hair, wear long sleeves. Office buildings are almost universally air-conditioned to the hilt, because men wear suits and can't exactly doff their jackets, so where professional dress is expected, chances are you won't fry. What about your hair cannot be pre-styled the ni…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:50 PM
10

You've got this. If he hasn't suggested you cover your skin, then you probably don't need to cover your skin. Let him lead you through this. And hey, you're showing your generosity! When the nervous wobbles get you, take a deep breath and reach for the security you feel in your relationship. You'll be OK as long as you trust him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:43 PM
36

Darling one, he wants you to meet his brothers, not his bros. :) That's a good thing! He wants his classy babe by his side! He's telling you what he sees you as. If you want to cover the tattoos, there are excellent makeup options for that. And nearly everyone looks right in navy. <3 Order the dress. Plan on being his classic beauty with a little edge. He loves you and he wants people to see you looking your best.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:14 PM
7

Instead of assuming I know how this breaks down, where is the majority of your time going, and how are you spending it?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 02:00 PM
1

...i love you, lychee <3
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/23 12:38 AM
2

I agree with this. I was thinking OP meant that there was a situation where he was browsing very openly, like, leaving his phone right there with OF girls popped up, and she saw it, or if he was constantly talking about OF girls, but if you have to go snooping, just give up. You don't respect him, you don't trust him, he'll find his match elsewhere.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 05:55 PM
14

If my crush (who I've never gone on a date with and we have not acknowledged any mutual attraction) were interested in OF girls, clearly he would not be interested in a woman like me except for one reason. So... no longer a crush, haha. But it's his right to choose that kind of girl, no matter what I think of them. Ultimately it's God's judgment he'll have to face and not mine.
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 04:50 AM
34

Children must be a hell yes, or else they are a hell no. For the children's sake. So if your boyfriend knows he wants kids and you aren't sure, don't waste ten years with a man who knows he wants kids. It's better to regret being childless than having children you don't want for the children's sake. Spending ten years in what may turn out to be a dead-end relationship is a waste of a woman's time. He may suppose that in your thirties, you will have plenty of time to find someone else, since you …
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/23 02:31 AM
12

I suppose "attend a luxe, international university" could be a valid tactical behavior that helps you achieve your goals, but think carefully what kind of men you're looking to attract before you shamble blindly into these circles. Money alone means nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/23 10:22 PM
8

Very interesting to hear. Red pill women are supposed to be different from red pill men.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 09:37 PM
2

We appear to both be women of some kind of faith. Would you be offended if I prayed for your safety and calm?
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 07:42 PM
3

I can't speak to the living together, but I can speak to the anxiety! One of the things that works for me is focusing on my body. Where am I feeling the anxiety? What can I do with my breath to slow everything down and come into a better mindset? When it hits at night, I'll start counting back from some ridiculous number that I know I'll feel better before I hit zero. I do pray. I throw my mind and heart open to God and trust in the promise that all who seek rest can come unto Him. I also fill m…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:58 PM
32

Pearl waxed eloquent on the subject of high value men here, and SunshineSundress went over some things you might like to know here. To add my personal perspective: a man who is high value to me does not cheat. It is his choice whether he provides or asks me to pitch in. And it is my choice to state, at the outset, that I am looking for monogamy. Perhaps define what makes a man high value to you, and you will find where your personal boundaries lie around fidelity and monogamy.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:18 PM
25

I see you're already on Vindicta. That's where questions like this one belong: in pink pill communities that are more about how women can get the best out of a man, than in red pill communities where women are thinking about their worth to their man. There's a subtle difference.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/23 06:12 PM
1

He never thanks me for the deep cleaning, the ironing of his shirts, taking care of our dogs etc... He just tells me that "No one asked you to do that". Well... from what I've seen here, he really didn't ask you to do that. Covert contracts are terrible things. When we do something nice, or something we believe is necessary to a situation but it isn't really, when we go above and beyond without asking if that's required, and then expect people to notice and be grateful, we haven't stopped to con…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/23 11:34 PM
6

It appears that the harshest judge of men for not paying is... you. I want to make society less painful for men, so I'm opting out of judging them if I see a woman pay. It makes more sense to me than elaborate theatrics such as slipping a man my card under the table.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 11:26 PM
3

hostile, rules-based approach What would you say if I told you that sex is an expression of love and trust for me, and therefore something I reserve? I had a considerate man push himself out of the running because he realized that I was looking for my forever person and he was definitely not. I mean, yes, he offered to scratch any itches I might have on the way to my forever person, but also he realized that I had a different standard and that was okay.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 09:08 PM
2

Do you have any other criteria for a potential mate, or just "must be a provider who will commit"?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 09:04 PM
2

Grab the book, too. Take the Love Dare. Let God's grace for you and your husband become the kind of grace my parents made room for in their marriage when they were on the verge of divorce. They have 45 years now. <3 I wish you only wellness, sweet one.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:37 AM
1

Please consider asking your doctor whether it's safe for nursing. Some meds are, and your doctor would hopefully have known you were nursing when they prescribed the med. Better living through chemistry is sometimes the best solution.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:13 AM
1

Are you Christians? I can't help but be reminded of "Fireproof" right now.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/23 12:05 AM
9

Old money, especially East Coast, follows a different, older set of rules that new money won't have been brought up knowing about.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 07:29 PM
1

Sorry I've been so slow! Yes, you're right, there are so many different kinds of nonprofits. Mine is small for what we actually do (about 20 people at the moment? stretched out over eight counties) yet all of us, our CEO included, absolutely need to put in full-time hours in order to make the dream work. We don't have the budget to hire more hands, so we all take on more work. But on the other hand... I don't think I would like myself very much, and I don't think a man would like me very much, i…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 04:44 PM
1

I truly love the works of Eva Ibbotson and, as a Christian, those of Grace Livingston Hill.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/23 04:38 PM
2

head a committee or nonprofit organization I have to say, as someone who works for a nonprofit, heading one is more than a full-time job. You'd not be a homemaker with a hobby then, you'd be a working wife.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 05:09 PM
8

The options have been flat-out terrible, in fact. Nearly all of them have children who are younger than high school -- that's a dealbreaker for me, not sorry. Then there's the ones who want kids, which I don't. So that leaves "open to kids" and "doesn't want kids". Of those men, I have to want to kiss them. And God help me, but Bubba from the sticks ain't it. Especially not Fat Bubba, which is a lot of what's out there. Nearly all of them want a travel partner or someone who likes being out on t…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/23 05:08 PM
5

I love that description! He absolutely has to be the kind of man who puts his alpha traits to a protective, not a selfish use. That kind of man is gold. Once you have him, don't let him go.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 06:23 PM
15

(Wrong account before. Sigh.) So -- yes, to this. Most of us out there are looking for a safe escalation towards being seen as, well, hot-blooded women. There's a reason the Greater Beta is often touted as the solution to a Red Pill Woman's dilemma: he has the right blend of alpha/beta traits to make her feel both cherished and sexy. He keeps her on her toes just enough. You don't want to raise your n for a cad, and you don't want to be bored. The sweet spot is right in the middle. The slow burn…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 04:50 PM
11

It is truly sad that that even needs to be said, but then I hop on my other username and realize that it does. I got reamed for "supporting a shitty man" on XX when I suggested that he might need support in a very specific way that I do, too. It wasn't even gendered for me, but some women will make everything gendered.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/23 12:56 AM
2

women withholding sex as much as they can while dating Does it, though? https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/qh9xsa/why_buy_the_cow_when_he_can_get_the_milk_for_free/
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:49 AM
1

When you're 70, you're not going to care much how good the sex was. It's being there for each other. It's having children that were raised properly and in a healthy home. OP mentioned to another poster that she did not want children, so this is probably less of a priority to her.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:31 AM
1

Know what you MUST have in a partner. Know what you're willing to compromise on. ALL people must compromise on something. NO ONE, no matter their DMV, gets precisely what they want. I'll add that what you're willing to compromise on might be flexible depending on the guy and his circumstances, and absolutely will shock the hell out of you when that happens. In a good way. :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 12:11 AM
1

Porn is fine within reason. Some men take porn to be the example of what women should be doing for them unpaid and no.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:38 PM
–

Not bitter, not jaded. Men by and large are awesome humans, they just need different handling. But no, I wouldn't want my partner to discover the Red Pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:29 PM
1

If he had been sober for even two years, I would likely feel differently. And, bias city, if she hadn't been so young when they got involved, and so vulnerable in other ways, I probably wouldn't blink. But the confluence of factors makes my antennae go up. She has said that he was still drinking at a point during their relationship. She has known him longer wet than dry. My aunt has a wildly unhealthy relationship with alcohol, we all know it, and all we can do is shake our heads and hope she so…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:03 PM
14

Remarkable how quickly your legal contacts pile up if you work in legal-adjacent fields. Definition might work in one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 02:46 PM
1

Women can mitigate the financial risks for men. Men can't mitigate the social risks for women. So I don't think I'm being unreasonable. You don't have to get married, but a blanket moratorium on the act is only going to drive decent women out of the dating arena and into going their own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:19 PM
1

Who are you to tell me what a marriage should and shouldn't look like?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 10:50 AM
1

He's six months sober. That's not a long time at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 10:49 AM
1

No. And that's not what marriage is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 10:47 AM
1

The limit is not now. Women who struggle to get pregnant are just as valid as any other women. You're making reckless choices based in utter poppycock, and you don't even know who you are. Shouldn't you know who you are before deciding to bring an entire human into the world or marry?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 11:50 PM
1

Goddammit, you will be old enough. Well... give your vote marginally more thought than a shitpost on here, okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 11:31 PM
1

My parents fucking bothered
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 11:10 PM
1

I give great thanks that you will not be old enough to vote when November 2024 rolls around.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 11:07 PM
1

This isn't getting any better. You're not tainted because you were pregnant. Redditors would think so, but these maladjusted hyenas think a woman loses her worth at 30. You're taking FOMO to a new level, here. I damn well don't choose my friends based on how pretty they are, that's beyond stupid. Who taught you so many lies?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 11:04 PM
1

Look, it's a setup I wouldn't encourage my own hypothetical daughter to enter into. Chubby or not. You don't have to be a mom at 23, you don't have to take the only man who seems to want you in this moment. I was desperate at 23 too, and it got me a dead-end situationship. He loooooved me, but he didn't care that he was sucking my soul dry - and that took years to uncover. How long have you been with this guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:48 PM
1

Go through this girl's post history. BF is over 40, a "recovering functional alcoholic" (so, an addict, they're still addicts when sober) and apparently doesn't aspire to much beyond a double-wide. She's 23 and her greatest issue is being a little chubby. She seems to think this is the best she can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:19 PM
1

One month never made a difference to anyone's fertility at 23.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:18 PM
1

Your addict boyfriend won't even marry you before knocking you up?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:14 PM
1

The social benefits. The legal benefits. Not having to pull out paperwork every time I need to prove said legal benefits. And the most compelling reason for me of all: because I value it. I wouldn't marry a man who didn't protect his own assets in the prenup we're going to have. But since I don't see divorce as an option except in cases of abuse, adultery, or addiction, the prenup might be moot.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:10 PM
1

You're trying to understand the inexplicable. This is a value of mine. When you don't accept "This is a value of mine" as a good enough answer, of course I'm going to think you're trying to logic it out of me. I agree with the social constructs and conventions. I think married women are more respectable than forever girlfriends. It is what it is and you aren't exactly obliged to marry me, so?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:06 PM
1

Oh. You think I'm a gold-digger. Shortstack, whether or not I marry I'm going to inherit a house. I want a prenup to protect ME and MY future assets. The difference is societal and you refuse to accept that as valid. Tough nuggets to you. Go get your dick wet in some syph-ridden coed. She won't want to marry you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:38 PM
1

There's no "teehee" about "I can't look myself in the eye in the morning". If you really think there's nothing special about a marriage compared to an LTR, you and I are not compatible enough to spend the rest of our lives together. If you're seriously boiling marriage down to money, then I question whether you're even fit for an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:28 PM
3

That guy is still somewhat too jacked to be the kind of skinny I've run into. That said, he's dreamy :)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:24 PM
1

Bro, if we somehow shared a niece, I'd help with b)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:20 PM
1

Oh, I agree. Being straight is a dumpster fire. Unfortunately, it's the dumpster fire I'm wired to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:19 PM
1

[claps you on the shoulder] You want her to discover Rhiannon Giddens, Alison Krauss, Emmylou Harris, and Gillian Welch. All perfectly cromulent country-folk artists. And while she's at it, Joni Mitchell.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:18 PM
1

Slime will always be a thing among children with access to the right ingredients.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:14 PM
2

Frankly, I don't owe any man any justification for wanting to be married to him other than "it would hurt me deeply not to be your wife". It would, in fact, feel an awfully lot like that nut crushing thing. Always the "squeeze", never the one who's gonna last, oh ho these young'uns are doing some newfangled thing, wonder why he stays, is it because she's a firecracker in bed? Can't be because he loves her or they would be married. Society still thinks like that. I am not getting my soul and repu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 09:10 PM
1

You've been in a car crash. You say "that's my partner". They ask for paperwork. Not if you say "wife", and I don't know about you, but I don't want to find out what happens if they find out I'm not actually his wife. There are completely illogical social constructs around the status of wife that I also cannot shake. Sorry, but you can't logic me out of feeling ashamed of anything but genuinely being married to my person. Pretending is just a giant lie I can't stomach.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:49 PM
11

Type 2 is not skinny. I have seen skinny and it does not even get to pretend it has muscles. That said, your Type 2 is the closest it gets for me. Then Type 1. Then all the others are tied for last. Type 7 is my ideal: not jacked, tiny li'l cute li'l belly, lean arms and legs, tight ass, and please not a monster package 'cause I'm built too small.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:12 PM
2

If he's interested in being with me forever, and we're really and truly compatible, then he understands where I'm coming from and cares how I view myself. That "wife" title carries respectability with it that I don't get from "girlfriend". Trust me when I have reason to say I'm not talking out my ass on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 08:01 PM
1

No, you absolutely insulted me by implication. Don't pretend you weren't calling me a gold digger. I might've been born at night but it wasn't last night. You forfeited any right to my good manners when you did that. And I'm not filling out EXTRA GODDAMN PAPERWORK when marriage could solve the problem and not make me feel like a live-in sex worker. That's the part y'all are missing. That no condescending pat on the head and oh you're my CHOICE honey will ever take that stigma away from me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 07:11 PM
–

The law sees me differently meaning I can't be at his goddamned bedside if he's dying, you blackpilled carcass.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:37 PM
0

Frankly I'd sooner gas myself than be either of those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 06:37 PM
2

Wouldn't you rather be a "forever girlfriend" to a man you know is in it for life because he wants to be than to be the wife of a man who suffers through his marriage because it's slightly less unpleasant than getting a divorce? That's a terrible set of choices. I want to be the wife of a man who's there because he wants to be, and understands that under my value system, marriage is important. Me feeling like a whore or a mistress isn't going to change because he pats me on the head and tells me…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 05:25 PM
-1

Women's uteri. Women's vaginas.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:25 PM
4

He won't have to hear it at the altar from me because we'll have hashed it out in our prenup.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:23 PM
3

But when it comes to giving us the security of marriage, suddenly that's a romantic gesture too far. I don't need the bullshit gifts. I don't need to go places. Attention should be a give and take between us. But marriage is non-negotiable to me because being a forever girlfriend is no better than being his whore or his mistress.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 03:22 PM
1

It would. But that doesn't mean taking rights away from anyone, and benefits as it is are hard enough to get when you do need them. I've had to fight for them from my sickbed.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:41 PM
2

Yes, I would. And did. But you're dead to decency, aren't you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 10:45 AM
–

You were sounding really, really in favor of women losing rights and men making women do things without taking no for an answer. Think about what a good look that isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:51 AM
0

Insofar as I am feminist (I'm not very), my feminism will include all genders. Incidentally, I find 6/6/6 unutterably shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:50 AM
–

Are you on the wrong side of the Iranian Revolution for fucking real?!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:45 AM
1

Oh, you think we're all sucking the government tit needlessly. I was on Medicaid when I was too sick to work. Because I needed health insurance, you sadistic fucker.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:40 AM
–

Making the option of remaining single hell on earth does work. The cat is out of the bag on that one. We would revolt in droves. And you might find yourselves missing parts you cherish as a result.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/23 12:39 AM
1

It isn't that he's older. It's that he's over 40 and an addict (an addict is always an addict) who now wants to have children out of a double-wide with a woman who will never get a proper start in life because she agreed to this wild scheme. If you two waited until you were at least on your way up in your career to have children, perhaps you could escape the double-wide and get into a whole real house with room for said children. But as things stand, I don't see you doing much more than shitting…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 11:49 PM
13

Now whether you will have a nice genuine happy marriage with these types of men is another question. I'd say that's the most important question of all. But Vindicta types don't care.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 11:06 PM
1

Are you actually deformed? Because if you're secretly really good looking, this is just sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 11:05 PM
2

No to the first, rendering the second impossible. I am also an only grandchild on my mother's side (for a reason).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 10:43 PM
1

It lasts as long as your eyes don't change, so they can't realistically guarantee it, but my coworker's uncle always had the best vision in the family after he did his eyes, til the day he died.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 10:39 PM
1

And I ran a fucking mile from glasses that big! I got LASIK when I realized I could afford it and it was the optimal time (my vision had settled out and everything)!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 09:34 PM
1

It's heinous enough that you should stop talking about it, because you obviously don't respect the subject or survivors.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 09:31 PM
1

Like seems to be calling to like.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 09:27 PM
1

She looks better without the godawful Gen Z glasses. LASIK might improve her odds of... not ending up with guys who make questionable sartorial decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 09:27 PM
1

Number 6 is kind of a 7? Or he might be if I could see his face? The rest are average to below.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 09:24 PM
1

Stop. Age gap relationships are one thing, and perfectly fine in my book, but not when there's (even past) addiction in the picture. You have to know you can do better. You are twenty-goddamn-three years old, do not tie yourself to a guy who could fall off the wagon when you've got your whole life ahead of you. Especially do not have a baby with him, Jesus God.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 09:23 PM
1

Men making more threads about how women are so entitled, thinking we deserve to want to fuck the men we're with. We're tired of this shit. You got the point across the first hundred times.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 05:11 PM
10

I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's FOMO. all my friends around me having their first babies They're getting attention that you're not. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A KID Don't have a kid unless you are 100% sure that you want one. Kids are irreversible, and contrary to what another commenter said, it's not "whoop gonna go back to regular life after 5 years at home with kiddo". You're always going to have those extra responsiblities because that child is yours. Are you actually married t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 05:09 PM
1

Show me pictures of the average man you think we all deserve. Give us multiple examples, in fact. You can even throw yourself in the pile, unlabeled so we won't guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 05:04 PM
1

That's what you choose to focus on? I guess the rest must be dead on.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 05:00 PM
9

Your ex sounds a little bit entitled, I'm sorry to say. If he only drinks natural spring water, then I wish him luck moving somewhere with a natural spring. The rest of us make do.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 04:40 PM
1

Only being interested in sex, only being interested in sex on their terms and turning out to be terrible at it, not sharing any common interests with us, not sharing our values or goals, not caring at all about their appearance (or having such poor taste that it had to be purposefully designed to repel women), being fat when we've kept our figures and expecting us not to care at all... I mean, that's just me speaking, maybe other women can chime in.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:38 PM
1

I wasn't looking for sarcasm. You can answer the question put to you or you can accept that we have had bad experiences with whatever you think are average men. It's your choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:30 PM
5

Probably in future, you want to sit down with your next man and express to him that you cannot carry more than a certain amount. Calmly, gently point out that your strength is less than his, and it would make more sense for him to carry the water bottles. But if I expected to live on the 16th floor and drank that much water, I'd probably bite the bullet and get a water purifier and some growlers to take with y'all. Work smarter, not harder.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 04:28 PM
1

Well, and what's your idea of an average man?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 04:25 PM
1

...so they think they can just ignore what we want out of a partner and, what, we'll set aside our needs so they can... fill in the blank here, what would a conservative man who wants children want from a sterilized woman who votes liberal?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 03:12 PM
1

I'm saying that picking on this person in particular is an egregiously stupid take. She's exactly what you all claim to want: a young woman with no body count. If even she can't have standards, the rest of us must be expected to lie down and take it from orcs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 03:11 PM
1

Because men don't even bother to check whether we're compatible on OLD before swiping right on us. There's only one conclusion that isn't "men are illiterate".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 03:09 PM
1

Yeah, God forbid a young virgin have standards. Hannah is exactly the kind of girl who, of all of us, deserves to ask for the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 02:59 PM
7

Dick is in abundance. Not good partners. Get that straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 02:58 PM
7

Wow. A young woman dating to marry is a high standard. The hell is a reasonable standard, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 01:29 PM
4

You have a gift for simile, my dove. Never lose it. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 01:13 PM
4

Are you sodding kidding me? I'm looking for the ones that aren't, to borrow from Hannah, "hairy toes" who want to be supported on my 37K, who are liberal (oddly enough, for religious reasons), and who don't want kids. You'd think I was hunting unicorns. And this was true before The Wall (splat!) [edit] Right, but I forgot: and who want to marry me at some point. Because I'm not a fucking whore.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/23 12:43 PM
2

But if it is a genuine turnoff, and she can't be sexual with him when he's acting goofy, then what's going to happen to them if she says nothing?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 12:32 AM
5

[waves a dang lighter] [none of that wack-ass millennial lighter on a cell phone shit, an actual lighter] KEEP SINGING
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:45 PM
2

Some women don't like feeling like they have to sit around and wait for a man to initiate anything. That's me, and I initiate. Sometimes with good luck, sometimes with rotten luck, but if he looks promising, I try.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:36 PM
3

C. A is too young, even if he is cute as a button, and B wants kids. C is a normal-looking, normal sounding guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:21 PM
18

Nope! No guilt here! My genes are crap and I'm happy to let the bloodline die!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 11:00 PM
1

Once you're there, once you're in a place where you've been doing more "outercourse" things together, making out, enjoying non-penetrative orgasms, she can suggest a handjob and gauge for herself how that's gonna fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:21 PM
1

If I'm trying to ascertain sexual compatibility, for instance, I would not ask his dick size. A, embarrassing, and B, nasty girl behavior. No good. Or, since I need a guy who's stable in his profession, quietly figuring out how long he's been at it and what his plans are beats "So, I have issues around finances, and it's imperative to me that you be able to support yourself in the long term because the most I'll ever make is $24/hour."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:13 PM
1

I'm ND and I think testing a man is silly, but the part of me that was raised NT does in fact throw the odd test out there -- because sometimes it's rude to just ask the questions that need asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:01 PM
1

We had the same acre apiece, scattered throughout Bamberg, for hundreds of years. So... no, we didn't benefit from that reorganisation act. I asked my mother, who started laughing specifically at you for thinking that we actually benefitted from anything the Nazis did. It's her family that lived it. Did yours? My great-grandda was PO'd that the Nazis were trying to corrupt his children. They were taking God out of the schools and forcing young folk into the HJ/BDM - well, he was having none of i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 09:59 PM
2

I've met men who are mentally 27, men who are mentally 70, and men who are mentally about 45, all in the 40-55 age range. I've always been older than I am mentally, so I've always matched well with guys who were mentally about 45-50. Finally being 37 is, like, fucking awesome. Because now almost no-one is bawwing at me about how I'm about to get taken advantage of.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 09:19 PM
1

Does she pay for gas at all? No? Then who owes who?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:53 PM
1

Because it's Andrew Tate. That should tell you everything you need to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:50 PM
1

I see you didn't know my family, then. Fucking hated the Nazis. They had to conscript my grandfather, and even then he only went because it was go or get shot. But they were soft liberal Catholic farmers who just wanted to be left alone to work their patches of land and bring veg to the people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:38 PM
1

Aw, man, bro drank himself to death. That's sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:36 PM
1

Physical age or mental age? The difference between the two can make or break compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 08:14 PM
1

...so I'm a grown woman, but I'm still a vulnerable girl somehow?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 07:26 PM
0

So does any of this apply when one person is my age and the other is in his fifties, or is this strictly to do with young women? I'm talking with a guy who's 33... and a guy who's 53.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 04:05 PM
6

truer words :D
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:44 AM
100

Was debating a very triggered lady Well, there you are. It's a trigger for her. Ask a woman for whom it's not a trigger. No, and I can't believe I have to say this, someone attracted to a sexually mature legal adult is not a pedophile. I'm middle-aged and certainly not jealous; I know what I bring to a relationship is different, and I'm kind of glad I'm not that young anymore. And yes, young women do have agency. Gen Z has issues around adults and adulthood, at least the terminally online ones d…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 03:08 AM
1

Modern men and women's interests dovetail, besides which I have interests that tend to straddle the gender line, like history and music. Men like these things, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:11 PM
–

Right. It says I need to have certain fundamental things in common with a partner to build a life with them. Values, outlook on life, things that make or break a marriage. I'm not you. And I'm beginning to be rather glad of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:10 PM
1

I could never lie about this and feel good about myself, not even by omission. If it were a dealbreaker for an otherwise great man, I would understand. Not Babushka, he's just being a great whopping bully here. Is it just me or has he got issues with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:08 PM
1

She was, actually. He wouldn't stop cheating on her. So it was lose her marriage or control how he did it. That's a terrible choice to have to make, and I'm profoundly sorry she ever had to make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:06 PM
0

I can't see how I would make conversation with someone who shares none of my interests or politics. "Nice day?" "Yep. You?" "Yep."
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:46 PM
1

Gosh. I guess my rate-dar must be broken, then, because I honestly took no notice of that man's chin, and couldn't define "cuck eyes" if you held a gun to my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:36 PM
0

Then how am I supposed to be characterizing them? They've swiped right on me, but we have nothing in common and it's fairly obvious. What are they hoping to get other than sex? Which they aren't getting outside the context of a loving, trusting relationship with a compatible partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:36 PM
1

They both claimed to be consenting parties in it. Ethical non-monogamy. My sin was trusting them. His was coercing her consent. I know which is worse. And I've repented before my God, whose judgment matters more than yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:34 PM
1

Love, I do hate to break it to you, but most women aren't ticking parts off on a list. Weak chin? Cuck eyes? Does it matter if it works overall? To me it really doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:25 PM
1

Tell me about it! My ex was as smug as he can be, but he had all the ethics of an alley cat about the non-monogamy, since he drove his existing wife to drink by taking me for a mistress.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 10:12 PM
1

It would probably tear me apart! Not worth the gold!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:54 PM
1

If he shaved the unfortunate moustache or grew it all into a coherent beard, 8.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:54 PM
2

Some people are genuinely wired for infidelity, to the point they can't keep it in their pants. Or under their skirts. I feel for them, but I can't not be monogamous. I can't feel security in a relationship where I'm not the only one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:41 PM
1

Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:27 PM
3

It is desperation, I'm sure, when it comes to the ones who are in their later forties and still expect me to want kids with them. It's downright degradation when he's poly and just wants another girl for the harem.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:18 PM
1

I'm in the US, not on public insurance -- I'm so sorry that Germany is this backwards still. You've moved forward in so much in my mother's lifetime, she and I are both really impressed, but on women's health apparently not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:15 PM
1

Ah, sorry. And I didn't want to go poking in your post history or anything, so I didn't know.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:14 PM
1

No, no, it's something I'm interested in. I think I'd sooner take the man who isn't dominant, but equal, if it meant he were also kind. If I can't have kind and dominant then I'd prefer the kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 09:13 PM
4

How do you know? He's firmly established himself as a liar.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 09:08 PM
1

unless older men are more attractive than younger men To me they were.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:54 PM
1

ohhhh, I saw "state" and thought US. I can ask my aunt, who was a nurse, if she knows anything about Bavaria, if that'd help you?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:49 PM
1

I am pulling for you. With good insurance, my entire hysterectomy cost $250.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:48 PM
9

Well, your scattered thoughts nailed it for me. My Bumble beeline is full of men who obviously haven't got a thought in their head about who I am -- all they want is what they want. I'm swiping right on men who might be compatible with me, they're swiping right on Has A Vagina. And no.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:37 PM
1

Because in a lot of childfree women's experience, "having kids won't make me happier" isn't considered valid by the people we tell. Including the doctors we beg to sterilize us because we're sure, but for some reason they think we'll change our minds. Even when we offer to sign binding legal documents that we won't sue.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 08:23 PM
1

It isn't just her. Women like us exist and don't need or want excuses for not having kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:57 PM
2

Your source is the Daily Fail? IDGAF about America's fertility anyway. It would behoove us to have fewer but better-planned children.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:55 PM
1

What was different about speaking with ND women vs. NT women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:50 PM
1

Yeah, the "risk of regret" thing is bogus when you know early. It's a CYA that could be avoided with a liability release form. And the reversible alternatives for women suck. Being an emergency foster: sometimes you need a safe place to land where they treat you like people and you can plan your next move with your social worker.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 07:49 PM
2

Was never and still am not to the same extent I wasn't before. I had myself sterilized because I was sure -- I've been trying since I was 25 but no doctor believed me. Cat or dog mom, now? Happily. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 04:25 PM
1

Think back to the difference. What was it like?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:11 PM
1

At least we aren't bullies.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:10 PM
1

Really not. It's next to impossible, however, to define something that presents in myriad ways. These are the guys who find themselves also getting diagnosed late in life, or who have done the same work I have in learning how to socialize. Men who definitely come across as different, but unless you were also ND, you wouldn't know what you were looking at.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:02 PM
3

No. I was never interested in kids, just men. Perhaps someday I'll be an emergency foster placement for teens. That's the extent of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:57 PM
2

I keep responding from the Not For PPD/RP account. It's maddening. Short of it: I respond well to autistic men who, like me, are high-functioning. I could ostensibly stealth my way through the talking stages, unless you knew what you were looking at. I don't actively seek fellow NDs out, but I'm open to them and I seem to attract them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 03:13 AM
2

This is why ND/ND relationships work so well: you can learn his special interest and he can learn yours, if the two of you are THAT passionate about them!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:49 AM
1

So why are you doing it? Why not be the change you want to see in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:13 AM
11

I get nagged, judged, and lectured because people assume that's my ultimate truth. It is not -- I have never had a functional biological time clock -- and people need to stop assuming. I'm not desperate, I'm just interested. But because I'm 37, I must be desperate, right? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 02:09 AM
12

I'm surprised you aren't luckier in finding outdoorsy guys, because I can't throw a stone without seeing MOUNTAINS! TRAILS! KAYAKS! on the apps. Two factors I can think of that contribute to this: I live on the edge of a lot of beautiful country. Do you live in a city or a suburb? Also, have you considered looking 7-10 years older than yourself? That's where you find the men who are done with their first marriages, but still tend to want more kids/be ready for kids if they didn't have any in the…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 02:04 AM
-1

I can tell you that at least one is not too shy, because he took me on a hike today. :) I made the first move, but he responded more than enthusiastically, and we've had some really bold conversations. We've also both lived bold lives, and are both autistic/ADHD, so maybe it's a matter of like calling to like. Did you feel a difference between neurotypical women and your autistic girlfriend, when you were in the talking stages?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 01:57 AM
13

What standards do you have for a compatible man? I'm 37. I don't want kids, but I'm still pretty old to have never been married. I lost a long time to healing from physical and emotional wounds, following a disastrous six-year relationship. I know that the dating landscape looks different for me, and that if I want something real, I can't dwell on a fantasy. That doesn't mean dating Wayne with the Kubota cap when all I want is to have a little house in the city, but it does mean I'm not going to…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 01:48 AM
25

Eight months ago, you were 30/31 and wanted kids. That's not such a grand difference from where you are now. What made your dating life dreadful?
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 01:03 AM
1

Relax, I can't reproduce :D
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:50 PM
1

so, my brain chemistry broke slowly but very surely in my teens trust me, I could have had everything I wanted on a silver platter and still been depressed
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:47 PM
1

Being ten and the eleven-year-old son of the babysitter brought a portable TV out to the blanket fort in the backyard so we could get our Springer fix. Shit, those were the days.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:45 PM
1

Even I can't with the CF sub, and I'm CF. I just... don't make it my whole goddamn identity. I even think kids are adorable little shits.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:41 PM
1

We've done some shit. Progressives at least understand this and are trying to make up for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:40 PM
–

Stability + looks = prime husband material indeed, but don't think that all of us consider it settling. Some of us have been looking for "beta bux" all our life and turning up our noses at alphas because a good-looking Billy won't make our marriages a living hell :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 09:13 PM
7

Nobody that calls themselves ceo without reporting to a board what's worse: She-E-O
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 08:33 PM
8

However, I would prefer to date an educated white-collar worker. Same. I want to be on the same wavelength as my man, like "these are my professional struggles, what are yours?" and even if we're in different fields, we both understand the things that are unique to being in A Profession, as opposed to just having a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 08:32 PM
1

Think you've nailed mine. In general, I need him to be doing something stable, I need him to be able to support himself without my help, and I need to not be worrying whether he'll be out of a job in like a year. That was my mom's life while my dad worked. No bueno.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 08:31 PM
1

Wow. You think you know what I am. You have no heckin' clue. Gotta go - Chad's in the driveway.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:05 PM
1

Oh, this is for casual. Okay!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:14 PM
3

I know at least one who thinks like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:12 PM
1

Wow! This is the first time I've heard that 37 is firmly antiquated, and that I absolutely cannot have standards! Oh, and you're definitely the first person who's threatened me with dying alone. Because I don't have extended family or the brains to find female companionship in my old age.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:11 PM
1

Don't ask me, okay? I'm not the hypocrite you're looking for. There is no free VIP pass into my pants.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:09 PM
1

I was saying it's different if I've known him for a long time. Not that every guy who "hit it quickly" had. I know perfectly well that most of them have not. Since I've never gone to bed with "other guys who hit it fast", it has always mattered whether he cared about me as a person, and that there was a real connection. Sex being mutually beneficial... that's debatable, depending on who actually gets off. I trust the odds of mutual benefit more if we're both invested in each other. And there's j…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 03:33 AM
1

Getting hard is no guarantee, else a man couldn't be examined. I'd believe it if a man told me it wasn't as mental for him as it is for me as a woman, but it isn't any old touch. Some touches will feel better than others, and some will leave him cold. As it happens, I'm one of the rare ones that managed a vaginal orgasm with my ex. It surprised me on the heels of a clitoral orgasm, but it was definitely what it was: the push of a penis against the right part of the roof of my vagina where it was…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 02:31 AM
2

A penis is, evolutionarily, a giant clitoris. Take a wild guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 01:24 AM
7

You know what? Fair. And thank you for explaining that it's not the ones who look like they get used by Chad that actually get used by Chad. Having always been wary of Chad, and understanding how his game is played, I've spent (let's be honest) all of my adult life only having sex in relationships. I don't foresee that changing, but the reasoning has: I want us to devote time and energy to becoming each other's best lover yet. Preferably ever. One night is not enough. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 01:23 AM
1

Or else women would enjoy gyno visits, and I would stick my fingers in daily lol. So there's a strong mental component to sex. Otherwise men would enjoy prostate exams, you could say. Yes, it matters if the clitoris is stimulated, but it also matters if we're in the mood for love, and that isn't generally true during an exam. The one time it doesn't seem to matter whether the clitoris is being stimulated is during a sexual dream. The body remembers sensations and they feel as real as if they're …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 12:43 AM
2

Does he even know me? It's one thing if we've known each other for a long time, but if he knows nothing about me, what are the odds that he cares about me as a person? What are the odds he'll stay, that he isn't using me? I'd rather be told "I need to get to know you better so that neither of us have regrets the next morning."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 11:06 PM
6

Nobody told you about the kids who are sure at the age of nine or younger that they are LGBTQ+, huh
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 11:03 PM
-1

Sure it does. "They were meaningless. I was using them for their bodies. But I don't want to use you."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:25 PM
1

That's... a little narrow. I mean, I fluctuate between the high 19s and the low 21s depending on how bloated I am. Within a given day.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:23 PM
1

Sometimes we break up with him when we're 28, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:19 PM
1

Wait, did some guy seriously think that was fat?!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:17 PM
1

King energy here. With the caveat that I'll try pelvic floor therapy before writing a man's wang off as too large, if he'll go with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:16 PM
2

You made a ring?! OMG, yes, that is treasure. I love that for the two of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:07 PM
4

I didn't have to "convince myself" to not have children just like I didn't have to "convince myself" to not smoke crack. YES THIS
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:02 PM
8

convincing themselves they don't want kids My prickly friend, I knew at nine that I wanted nothing to do with pregnancy or motherhood. It's still true at thirty-seven. Kinda don't see that changing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:01 PM
-2

Radical notion: what if you're not second fiddle just because you didn't get sex? What if you're the one she actually gives a good goddamn about and he meant nothing?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:59 PM
2

Who are your Chad buddies sleeping with, and what makes you jealous of them? From what I hear, Chad chooses women who basically have Insta-baddie surface and not much substance. He doesn't have to care about what's underneath the inch of makeup on her face, because he's in it for the night. If you want that too, go compete, but don't get mad when women who aren't that, and who don't sleep around, and have real character, tell you you're wrong about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:57 PM
6

Vaccinate him against rabies, get him a snappy vest, he'll be my little buddy for life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:54 PM
1

Can't you be dominant and friendly? If you're not friendly, what are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:51 PM
3

Your flair is my reality. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:34 PM
4

A woman who wants shitty makeup will trust a celebrity makeup brand. A woman who wants good makeup will hit up the YouTube makeup reviews and go for what's known to be excellent. And then there's me, muttering seditiously in the drugstore eyeliner aisle about just wanting a damn black pencil. As to engagement rings -- sort of? Yes, we cherish the giver more than the gift, but I personally would want him to propose with a band of twine that represents us choosing the ring together. I need somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:26 PM
3

fucking cracks me up that you just skipped Tess like "...moving on" this is the appropriate treatment for her, she personally has earned it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 09:06 PM
1

Well, whoever you think I am, you have it wrong. Men's problems are real. And yes, the problem of Black men's overrepresentation in the incarcerated population is probably larger than the same for Black women. But getting sex is not on that level for me. It just is not. Not getting sex doesn't ruin your life; unjust incarceration really and truly does. In a forever way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:37 PM
0

Those aren't my prejudices. I have prejudices, but "bawwww men's problems don't care" aren't among them. You must be confusing me for a radfem.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:13 PM
0

What? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:09 PM
1

Honest thanks for saving me a click through to Evie. :) I'm one of the women who finds that behavior unacceptable. Gives us all a bad rap. But I also don't enjoy being paid for. What if he asks for something I can't give in return?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:13 AM
1

Evie Magazine has a distinct agenda to it. Find a less biased source.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:00 AM
1

Yeah, but after the cheap casual date, I can still look myself in the eye.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:59 AM
0

Yup. These days I offer flat-out to pay for my own meal, because I sure as hell don't want him to think he's buying me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:49 AM
1

niiiiice, we can nerd out together
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:26 AM
2

I mean... yes? The women to whom this is an unpleasant reminder need to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 02:21 AM
2

Inasmuch as "love language" is an easy shorthand for "do this and you will be mine for life", I put it above the other ones you mentioned. But there are certainly not only 5. Mine are music and spreadsheets.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:59 AM
-1

Ohhhh, I had to vergoogle it -- this guy is the Witcher, no wonder a bunch of girls like him. Geralt z Rivia is definitely not my vibe :D
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:51 AM
3

Thanks. :) I'm rather attached to my dad and I cheer him and his low A1C.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:20 AM
0

Weird. He's kind of... bland. Was the poll American? I can see Americans going for that total lack of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:19 AM
2

He didn't die. He survived because he did what was right and lost the weight. "Unfairly" prematurely would have been "goddamnit, he was only in his early 60s".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:12 AM
1

We are the best family ever now. We have a group chat on Discord because we can't stand not to check in with each other during the day. That's right, I got boomers to use Discord. :D
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:42 PM
–

I am in fact a woman of faith. My dad was the one with the issues, so I'd say you're pretty far off the mark there. We're talking untreated PTSD and depression. He caused major issues for us. He was also unreliable financially, so that left my mother to carry the load and she worked her tail off. If being upset that my father failed the family is "daddy issues", sure. Have it your way. But here's the thing: when there are three of you on this side of the Atlantic, you pull it together. Dad got r…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:34 PM
1

TIL: my mom is Elle Woods
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:21 PM
1

There are a heckin' lot of divorced parents, though! Guess all the childfree guys got snapped up early?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:18 PM
–

So, concept: you can not be compatible with a person romantically and not "have issues" with him. My dad is more pugnacious, more vulgar, and less of a man of faith than I would like. There's no sharing a car with him without some shit going down. Yet I love him to pieces and would defend him to the death. That doesn't mean I want a man like him for my partner. If only because I'd like to be able to ride in the same car as my man.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:17 PM
2

did you just compare the prison industrial complex to not being able to get your dick wet
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:02 PM
1

[Mama claps me on the shoulder] "LostGirl, here's how I behaved during my hoe phase in the late 60s/early 70s."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:01 PM
-2

idk, since I don't have daddy issues, I don't need to attract a man like my dad, so why would I emulate what my mama did to get him?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:59 PM
1

I forgot to say that he neither has kids nor wants kids, which is rare as hen's teeth in combination with the rest. And the rest is already vanishingly rare, as I'm discovering.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:22 PM
1

Can you explain to me this sub's obsession with Henry Cavill? Did he fuck your mother or something and now you're all bitter?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:19 PM
2

Social structures happen to all of us, be we cats or rats or humankind. Humans create social structures, but it's nature's way that we do. We have an innate need to be around other humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:17 PM
1

Nope. Some of us out here get seasick :D
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:13 PM
1

For me, and I'm speaking as an average but short 37-year-old woman, the ideal is something like: 5'7"-5'10", reasonable weight, makes between 45-55K at a job that's stable (i.e. he can expect to be there indefinitely unless he makes a move for more money). Well-groomed, well-styled, actually cares about these things. Is neither extremely goofy nor extremely dour -- and isn't mean. Does not fucking expect me to Travel The World! Have Adventures! Bro, I'm settled. And kayaks have spiders in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:12 PM
1

You're really going there?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 09:04 PM
7

I'm short, too. So... I'm careful. And have been all my life, and it's worked.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:49 PM
1

5'10" are 220 pounds of muscle also, please note, a type of man I would not date :D I don't get hot for jacked, it's just... [waves hands] Too Much Man
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:47 PM
1

...everyone has that burden of performance on them. Literally everyone, in a capitalist society (which I'm going to go ahead and presume is your context) is valued according to material wealth. Even children feel it from incredibly, unfairly young ages because we care more about how "high-performing" our schools are than the actual well-being of the children in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 07:46 PM
7

Seeking to date men. Would I date someone overweight? That honestly depends on what it looks like on him, and if it's part of a trend toward obesity. When in doubt, I prefer people who are about 20-27 BMI and below and committed to staying that way. Would I date someone obese? No. No way. I don't find it attractive, it's potentially going to cut this person's lifespan shorter -- no. I'm looking for forever. The vow is not "until diabetes do us part." And since that very nearly happened to my par…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 05:00 PM
1

asking him to make enough to basically support himself in a decent manner in this city is privilege now okay, bro
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 04:10 PM
1

We agree, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 01:57 PM
4

How does he have a different view on finances than your mom? Was he a gambler or drunkard? It seems like he was trying his best and just didn't have the ability to meet your mom's standards. He spent a lot of money on a lot of useless shit. He wasn't trying his best, because trying his best would've meant he actually did pursue an education related to what he had been doing in the military. Instead, he pursued dead-end bullshit like insurance sales and retail -- and then the IT stuff, but this w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 01:57 PM
2

Women dont care about wanting more money, they care about a combined income leading to a certain lifestyle. The details of that combined income and lifestyle will vary person to person. Absolutely this. I want a small house in an inexpensive part of the city that cuts my commute to ten minutes. Fifteen with the walk from the parking garage to my office. The man who sees this as extravagant must be really parsimonious.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:55 PM
3

Love dies when you're constantly fighting about how you're going to make the mortgage for the hundredth time. Maybe financial stability falls under moral fiber for me, idk, but it's definitely something -- he can be the nicest guy in the world but he's not for me if he can't hold down a job that makes a totally unreasonable 40-45K.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:50 PM
-2

Fair enough. I mean, we can't. I think it was disingenuous of women to tell you to just be yourself when the reality is that women are looking for things like attraction and economic stability. If you can't meet at least those two, you're fucked. Women need to be honest about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:38 PM
0

If "less than what I make" were a reasonable number, I would be all for this. Unfortunately, it is not a reasonable number. My profession is not particularly lucrative. I also remember my parents struggling with money and how my dad did not have the same academic qualifications as my mother, and how that hurt him in the job market once he left the military. He always found himself in situations where he was being laid off or underpaid. I will not be my mother. That isn't unreasonable, to not wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:32 PM
1

Okay, then. You're venting, and I'll respect that. There's not really much of a discussion to be had other than "Yeah, women suck, don't they?"
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:23 PM
-3

Are you looking for affirmation, or are you looking for actionable advice? I ask because there's not much I can say in the way of the former other than "I'm sorry that was your experience".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:16 PM
2

So plot them on a graph. Where they intersect should be where you find the best guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:21 AM
1

Some women have that attitude, but I don't share it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 10:18 AM
1

And to that I say: chacun ses gouts. I don't trust anyone who tries to categorize women's preferences. Thinking on it, I probably don't trust your study. No gender is a monolith.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:55 PM
2

Ooh. Yeah, THAT is a level of delusion that almost warrants medication.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:49 PM
-2

If you sit around on a lily pad waiting to be approached, don't be surprised when all you get is frogs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:48 PM
1

I spend my days sleuthing for the answers to my questions because my underling is uncooperative. I do not find it fun to go looking in my spare time. If you believed that strongly in the results of the study, you'd have the link ready to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:39 PM
2

ba dum CHING
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:31 PM
12

Is there not a middle road between Cry Baby and a toxic dark triad guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:30 PM
3

I was! I was a young woman trying to get with average-looking men who were indeed stable, responsible, and mature. And what did they say to me? "Oh, you're too young." IDIOTS
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:29 PM
1

I can't speak to who put the data together and with what biases if I can't read the study. Where is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:28 PM
1

Which is why I don't do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:28 PM
6

when you have "Liberal" right there in your profile and they swipe right on you, but they have Let's Go Brandon in their blurb when you have "Don't want kids" in your profile and you talk to them and they ask you "So, did your ex take the kids?" like can you even read? And they swiped right on you. Swipe right on fewer women, metaphorically speaking. We won't be as pissed off at the ones who do give us attention if we know there's a good reason we should give you attention back.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:27 PM
3

You have to want to fuck the guy you're with. That's an unfortunate truth. I've kissed guys who turned out to be really, really bad at kissing and could not, thereafter, imagine them putting their hands on the rest of me. Nobody is entitled to a relationship. Save that for FDS and TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:25 PM
6

Yeah, at least she's honest about that. But she also rendered herself even less dateable by going on to conceive outside of a marriage. So she was a single mom hoping to dupe some poor guy into raising her kid. And if that's his kink then good for him, but I can't imagine being a man, being with a 40+ woman who had a kid but not with me and being cool with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:23 PM
3

Yeah, I get those "only sex" vibes and I'm out. He will not be shooting his shot in me, thanks. And ew. He could be my favorite actor (Not Henry Bloody Cavill) and if all he wanted was a one-night tumble, he'd be scuffed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:22 PM
6

I'm an introvert. This is just not who I am. Bully for you that you really and truly enjoy befriending randos, but... nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:20 PM
0

I would prefer men to take the word of actual women over studies they aren't bothering to cite, but here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:19 PM
3

Well, I've had all of two sexual relationships in my life, so... I wouldn't know much about those guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 10:18 PM
-1

I mean. You could ask the rest of PPD's fine female population what they have to say, instead of assuming he has to make 50% more than we do. Pretty sure most of the women here are fine with a guy who makes about as much as they do. The outliers are FDS hags.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:19 PM
6

You're not sorry. Being disingenuous like that is exactly the kind of move that would put you on the permanent "poison pizza" list if we knew each other IRL.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:18 PM
2

Remarkably, I am. So... "women". Apparently not all of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:17 PM
7

Oh, no, I'm not unaware that men like you think women are fleshlights. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:17 PM
8

What if he's just not your fucking speed? Whether he's a hippie and you're a yuppie, he's a Blue Lives Matter guy and you have ACAB tattooed on your left asscheek, he mows his lawn on weeknights when you're trying to sleep and you want to spike the fucking lawnmower with a stick of dynamite... he could just be That Guy, your own personal bitch eating crackers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:16 PM
6

"Some girl I know has a relationship with this guy who's hot but always cheats on her. Time and time again, she takes him back, hoping that somehow things would be different now." Still relatable. More so, in that I don't automatically assume fame has rotted her mind. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:15 PM
2

And see, this is why I blow raspberries at Lori Gottlieb. Settling is a recipe for resentment on both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:11 PM
-1

women still only really want to consider dating a man who makes 50% more than them No. Really not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:10 PM
9

what's wrong with not wanting your partner to be your manchild
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:09 PM
1

And remember. Men have to be the initiators. Boring life if that's how you see things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:09 PM
10

No pizza is better than poison pizza. Just doing nothing is better than actively being bored out of my skull by someone who has nothing in common with me and with whom I have no interest in maintaining a friendly relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:06 PM
10

Look, if you know who this guy in your neighborhood is, he's not someone you want to be friends with, and you don't want him to get the wrong idea even about that, why would you engage?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:04 PM
8

None of the Kardashians are what I would call stable or well-adjusted human beings, simply by virtue of having been the Kardashians for so many years.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:01 PM
7

Undeserving how? Genuine curiosity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:01 PM
1

yeah, those are the same faces my mama made when she saw exactly what Tricare covered like "wtf, husband, why does your military not take better care of its people"
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 07:27 PM
1

At least my age.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:51 PM
1

Obviously I make myself sound as unattractive a prospect as possible. The ultimate one is "I want to date around some more, figure things out."
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:32 PM
1

"It's been great, but I don't think I'm what you're looking for. I know she's out there somewhere, though!"
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:19 PM
1

Yeah, I'd be more tactful anywhere but here -- the point is that many men don't want to hear that it's them, and it's things I'm not waiting around for them to change. I'd rather blame myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:16 PM
0

so albinos are right out
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:13 PM
1

idk, I'm maintaining about 25% body fat and haven't invested much in fitness (I walk now and then?) and I actually look better than if I were to get ripped/toned/wtfever. I need that body fat in order to still have breasts and thighs and an ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:08 PM
1

Me. I'm the vain one, it's me. seriously, though, the girls it happens to, it couldn't happen to better :D
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:06 PM
1

You wouldn't want to know it's because you look like a stick figure made out of pipe cleaners, or because you're nearly my age and still work retail for less than I make at a got-damn nonprofit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:05 PM
1

And y'all know they got Jody Jodie in their back pockets
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:03 PM
1

oddly enough, I am all for euthanasia for any reason you like. You didn't ask to be born, you shouldn't have to stay.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:02 PM
1

It is unequivocally weird to see "no kids" and "not married" in a profile and assume that state of being exists because a woman's ex-husband got full custody and moved away. Fuck's SAKE, this guy is not right in the head. Totally unmatching with him when I get home, what was I thinking continuing the conversation after that?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 06:01 PM
2

Oh, God, if my ex ever read here, he would totally say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 05:54 PM
20

You never leave the mob. Run.
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/23 01:23 PM
2

But painful, especially when the doctors aren't offering you dilators to help with any pelvic floor issues that might be present!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 01:17 PM
1

I've had medical professionals not believe me when I said "it's not vaginismus, I swear he's just too big". Lazy of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 12:53 PM
1

Until the rise of Victorian morality, it kind of was the definition, at least in Europe.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 01:01 AM
2

Divorced, beheaded, died in childbed, divorced, beheaded, outlived his decrepit corpse.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 01:00 AM
1

which is why, as a girl of thirteen, my absolute favorite actor was an unknown Welshman whose career was firmly D-list
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 12:52 AM
9

If I were dating this man, I would phrase it as "Okay. If there's ever anything you need from me, let's communicate about it. Otherwise, this is something new you shared with me. Thank you for honoring me with your truth." Worth knowing, however, is that I work in a touchy-feely field where we say things like "honoring me with your truth". :D
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/23 12:45 AM
1

He's still IN his youth!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:19 PM
1

You'll be covered in bodily fluids as long as there's an under-three in the house. By the time that three-year-old is no longer oozing, it will be off to daycare, where it will catch every disease going and proceed to infect you, its parents. So you'll be sick until kiddo is old enough to understand hygiene, which according to the actual parents I've met isn't for another ten years. If you try and stack children, the misery intensifies. One of you will murder or neuter the other in their sleep. …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:18 PM
1

I'll be a billionaire who eats rigatoni instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:13 PM
1

she and snickers should consider a LDR then
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:11 PM
1

Your marriage will wither and die after three.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:10 PM
2

it... it's true
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:07 PM
1

Precious, if no-one here has told you about the Wall, go in grace but go the hell out of here while you still have a functioning brain cell. TBH, any gender should be making proper contributions to the relationship, no matter what roles the people involved choose for themselves and each other. But they don't seem to care about ethics or empathy in that respect, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:57 PM
1

No, just childless, thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:52 PM
1

And now you know why I didn't have kids!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:52 PM
1

There is no ethical difference. There's no ethic to what you find attractive enough to partner with. I'm really sorry, but them's the breaks and women are constantly reminded of said breaks by men bawwing about The Wall.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:43 PM
-4

Men: can be unfuckable, but considered average Women: must be at least Becky to be considered average
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:47 PM
2

I'm a plain jane Actually, if you're a fat, post-wall single mother with a high N-count, you're... several rungs below plain Jane. I'm plain Jane. Also post-wall, but slim, low-N, and not a mom. [edited] Jesus fuck, that was harsh of me. I hasten to include: in red pilled men's eyes. Honestly, I know a woman a lot like you who is the sweetest ever. But convince me that the average PPD Joe would see her as valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:41 PM
3

No, assuredly if he wasn't into it then I would work harder. The "he" in this equation is seldom not into it, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:39 PM
1

If you detest the beach do not pretend to like it. If every moment jogging is miserable suffering do not pretend to like it. Do not imply a future with someone who is very much not you. This is why I'm single right now. Because I refused to do that to a guy. I may end up paying for it! Lori Gottlieb probably thinks I should've faked it as long as he's able to pay the bills and give me a roof over my head! But it would've been a dead bedroom and we would've ended up hating each other's fucking gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:35 PM
–

If 80% of men are that unattractive, perhaps that's a them problem. Unless you're suggesting no man can get a decent haircut, spruce up his wardrobe, or lose weight in order to be attractive, the way women have to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 08:51 PM
1

Nobody's talking about that aspect of it, trust me. What we mean is the part where we have to be attracted enough to our partner in the first place to want to smash.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 08:17 PM
1

I didn't say they were all successes. Just that the chances were there. Out of those attempts, maybe one might stick and he'll be in a relationship for a year to a few years, maybe even forever. But if he's single, yeah, on average I'd think at least 2-3 women a year might be interested in a normal guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:42 PM
3

HAHAHAHAHA oh God that's the best one I've heard all day
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:40 PM
0

Something like 2-3? Like, one good go at a relationship every 4-6 months?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:20 PM
1

I leave the sewing machines to people who understand bobbins. Bobbins are the devil's work. I never stitched over my own finger, but I could never change a bobbin to save my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:18 PM
1

No. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:15 PM
1

I vaguely do, but I prefer to maintain a BMI around what it is now, so I'm not going to overeat if I can help it. Replacing my wardrobe would cost too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:12 PM
1

Way, way too many of them have dogs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:10 PM
1

Have you ever tried to operate a sewing machine? Those things are possessed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:08 PM
5

I sure as hell didn't vote in that survey that said women are happier being unmarried. I don't want kids but I do want commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:59 PM
4

Then he isn't average. He's below par. Average is average: can get a middling number of partners, can actively hold an average woman's interest. If no-one actually wants to have sex with him, something is wrong with him and driving him below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:24 PM
–

actively wanting to have sex with your partner is not an unreasonable fucking ask
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 03:21 PM
9

But it sure helps if you went into the relationship thinking "this person is sexy". If you don't do that, eventually one of you will either not be able to get it up, or be starfishing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:43 PM
1

Oh my God. That is insane. And is it just me, or is one of the male 8s Brad Mondo?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:39 PM
22

Average Joe is enough. You aren't speaking to enough Plain Janes. I'm looking for the Average Joe I want to be intimate with, so that we don't have a dead bedroom down the line, which is something men dread. Do you want to be settled for, or do you want me there enthusiastically?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 01:36 PM
5

If a guy tells you he doesn't want to be settled for, you decide not to settle for him, and he says NO NOT LIKE THAT, that's on him, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:42 PM
3

I don't think anyone who talks about their desired gender in terms of number on a hotness scale will ever get them. I'm done doing that, at any rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:27 PM
1

As long as I think he looks great, who cares what other women think?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 11:25 PM
1

How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 02:57 PM
3

Then for the love of God, what are you doing here? Boyfriend out of town?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 03:00 PM
4

I was never catcalled. And I'm not ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 02:57 PM
9

For me, yes. Been there, dealt with that, never want a hint of it in my life again. Even "open to monogamy or non-monogamy" on a dating profile gets the ol' swipe-left treatment.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 02:57 AM
5

I'd say they're equivalent, given that in one case, the man is not getting sex, but in the other, the woman is not getting intimacy. I tend to think these are the things we bitch about not getting when we bemoan our situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/23 02:48 AM
8

My theory is she gets the posts from ChatGPT and her comments are just her. The writing style is completely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 10:58 PM
7

I don't think "all women are really sexual" is true, but "women have the potential to be really sexual with the right person" has been my reality. Very far from not caring about sex -- it just has to be good sex with a good man.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 07:36 PM
1

This is awesome! Thanks so much! :) I much prefer homemade health snacks to premade because premade has the annoying habit to rely on stevia and aspartame -- sugar is NOT a problem here, but if I do want to substitute something for processed sugar then I'd rather do it with honey! There's a recipe out there I'd like to try that uses honey and protein powder.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 07:17 PM
1

I had LASIK. Worked like a charm, it's just that there's a recovery period and you absolutely have to baby your eyes. The idea that you'll be better right away is a big honkin' lie! I'm 3 months out and really happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:44 PM
8

"Be more specific with your standards; if you target common traits like height, wealth, and physique you're competing for standards that every other girl is valuing. Figure out your own most important values and principals and set standards around those instead." This didn't come across as advocating that women be compromised and used to me. Where is the degradation in this advice?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:37 PM
4

A celebrity crush isn't reality. And attraction isn't rational or standardized. What I've been attracted to has shocked hell out of me in the past. Things I didn't know I liked? Turns out I liked them in the right combination with other traits. Who'd have thought?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:34 PM
1

ngl, I'd like to make him a lasagna we could eat together, but thanks to a bout with Lyme I can no longer digest beef, so I'll have to see whether he can stomach "beef". As long as the protein count stays the same, will he still get the benefit?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 06:20 PM
1

Anyone who makes sexual contact with someone else can pass on an STI. Including lesbians.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 05:29 PM
1

That will be between me, my partner, and my GYN. Life need not end at 50.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:04 PM
1

Oh -- I'm pretty sure my salt-and-pepper papi is already in it for the near future. I'm sorry I was unclear: I found someone who suits me very well, like, in the second week of online dating. He's the most normal, well-adjusted dude I've met in a very long time and there's that elusive spark. We've got plans clear into December. I'm going to have trouble keeping him properly fed; he's naturally very active. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:33 AM
1

I'm sorry for what happened to your aunt and those other women. Rape is obviously a reason to lock him up and throw away the key. If you feel like he's escalating in an unreasonable way, and HR doesn't believe you, that job is full of bees and you need to no longer be there. Most HR departments now have sexual harassment policies, however. They had them in the 20-teens, too. I'm saying that I'm pretty sure this guy was an outlier, and that most of these situations could benefit from the people i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:28 AM
1

There's a middle ground between saying nothing and going scorched earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 03:10 AM
0

in b4 "she's not having sex with ME"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 02:40 AM
1

I must be a man, because as long as someone gets it done and the house doesn't stink or make us sneeze, I don't care. I just. Can't be arsed. I also don't have a bajillion tiny pillows for my bed, and when I was asked what color I wanted my walls, I legit said landlord white will do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:58 AM
9

I went my own way for nine years, starting at 28. I never pretended I didn't have issues, which is why I didn't prioritize getting into a relationship. I decided I wasn't fit for one, so let's not and say we did until I could really offer the kind of partner I wanted in return. I refrained from picking shitty guys. I talked a lot in therapy about the legit victimization I had experienced in my last relationship, but that's where you're supposed to do it. There was no hedonism happening, and trus…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:53 AM
6

Hey, don't ask me, I try to refrain from writing men off as inc*l losers. If they describe themselves as blackpilled, I know they probably won't be receptive to anything I have to say, but they have rights. And I criticise modern women. We're not angels. We're not even always a we.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:45 AM
8

But you think that offering us dick will lead to us locking down a decent man, when that's not necessarily the case. Men also talk about women who have been offered dick -- they are run-through, they're incapable of pair-bonding after a certain point -- so you know perfectly well that being offered dick alone is no guarantee of a relationship. Might actually be detrimental to the goal of getting into a relationship, sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:21 AM
2

That's tough, mate. What does the person not doing the dishes care how they get done, if they're clean, dry, and not damaged at the end? No wonder she's an ex!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:16 AM
10

If you prefer to work with people, HR is the way to go -- and many smaller businesses outsource their HR to remote firms because they can't afford a full-time, onsite professional.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 12:31 AM
1

That makes sense, yeah. I like to keep it 100/100: we both bring what we have, all of it, and we don't keep score. Do I like it when a man takes charge? Well, it certainly relieves me of decision fatigue. But I'm happy to participate in a mutual decision-making process, too. In a past relationship, I ended up keeping score because I was bringing 100 and he was bringing the pittance his wife allowed him to bring (see also "why I will never be OK with so-called ethical non-monogamy in my relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 12:05 AM
1

Actually, you're approaching the same idea as OP, just with the idea that the one doing all the work should be the other gender. You're happy to do it as the woman, with a slightly more egalitarian tilt in that you'll let him clean; OP thinks the man should do what you're doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:38 PM
4

There's that assuming malice over lack of fucks to give thing. I hate that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:35 PM
1

So, I'm one of those people who would hug everyone if she could. I absolutely think a pat on the rump is playful, and you are understanding me correctly. It's natural to me to use hands to express thoughts. I agree that if something is a barrier to functioning in the workplace, it probably needs to be ruled out. I guess I genuinely don't see flirting and the odd touch as a barrier, because I really could go on with my day and not make anything of it. I've had worse happen to me and I really don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 11:30 PM
1

Oh, awesome. I have enough French to make a stab at your username -- a stolen kiss? How poetic. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 10:23 PM
2

Yes, proportion is important. I question the state of the mind of a woman who compares her single-handed grope to the partner who thought it was okay to sit on me when I was too drugged to consent and use me for his sexual gratification. I honestly wondering what's going through her mind, that a grope or a kiss is the worst thing that's happened to her and she has to scotch a man's entire life and reputation over it. Sometimes it's not disrespect or hostility, though. Sometimes it really is just…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 10:22 PM
2

It's what I learned at my mama's knee. And she never had a problem in her life, coming of age in the extremely lusty late 60s/early 70s.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:54 PM
1

Guy I know: "Hey, so I hate to let you down here, but I have to. I'm just not feeling it. It's okay if you need to vanish from my life for awhile, this is probably painful and embarrassing. I know it has been for me. Good luck, though, eh?" Guy I don't know: Pretend I didn't notice the advance, or give a "reason" why I'm not taking him up on it ("Oh, you want to see me when? Sorry, work is really busy and I need all the downtime I can get!")
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:36 PM
-3

Actual rape is punished less harshly. It's prosecuted less, harder to get a win in court -- but if he kisses you and he's famous enough, you can cry out on him and ruin his whole life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:34 PM
0

You have got to be joking. That actually cheapens my experiences as a survivor.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:32 PM
0

Sure, but neither are you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:32 PM
1

OP said equal attractiveness. I'm sorry your friend turned out to be Chad, but this is not that scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:29 PM
1

Factor 1: is he going to age well? From where I sit, I can tell more or less whether the man standing in front of me is going to be a silver fox or Homer Simpson. Factor 2: Do I have preexisting feelings for one of these men? That's not to say that I can't be wooed out of said preexisting feelings, but the one that got there first and flipped my heart upside down might get the advantage if... Factor 3: Does he expect me to change my goals and priorities for him? Or does he take me as I am, becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:26 PM
1

Sorry to disappoint you, bro. also are you aware that the actor's name is Matt Damon or is there a joke I'm missing somewhere
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:15 PM
-3

Enough of what gets cried out on is just men showing interest in a physical way that I have to disagree. I don't want a man cancelled because he gave me too lingering a hug, or took the initiative and declared his interest by kissing me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:09 PM
4

I am happy with men showing the way, but we both have to bring our best adult selves into the relationship. Ceding too much to him could lead to the "oldest teenager in the room" problem - unless being fathered by your lover is a good time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 09:03 PM
-4

During the whole MeToo fuss around my state governor, not one claim against him was credibly sexual assault in my eyes. At best it was inappropriate advances, but really? Equating kissing a woman with sexual assault? A pat on the bum here and there? We are absolutely not ready for the adult world if we can't handle ourselves in those situations, if we need to cancel people over that. Makes us look hysterical.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 08:48 PM
4

For example, men don't care about house decoration or deep cleaning the house every week. TIL: I'm a man. Things are not harder for me because I'm a woman. Things are a tad harder because of the lingering effects of chronic illness, neurodiversity, and past trauma ("the body keeps the score" is a useful concept). But I did the responsible thing and got my female biology under tight control, so I'm good until menopause, when I and my GYN will work out what solutions need to happen. Modern medicin…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 08:44 PM
1

You're neutral to the point I can never remember your gender! Happy cake day, btw :)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 07:25 PM
1

Keeping my last name: if mine is prettier, I would like to keep it. :D That sub though: fucking lunatics.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 06:59 PM
1

Rube Sofer was hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 06:07 PM
1

Do u think your mom married ur dad because he was the most striking sexy guy that swept her off her feet? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:50 PM
4

You don't need to be turned on just looking at someone to be turned on. I'd wager looking at someone alone won't do it for a lot of us, in fact. Many women respond to physical touch more than the sight of, say, a naked man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:48 PM
3

Again, this is just my experience: attractiveness is subjective. I've experienced physical attraction toward a variety of men, all different, and while I'd find it crass to put a number on them, none have been Insert PPD's Favorite Actor Here by a long shot. But I wasn't looking for that. I was looking for someone whose kisses and touches lit me up. And I found it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:47 PM
1

IS chemistry and attraction possible if there’s no physical attraction there? In my experience, no. I need to be physically attracted to a man to really feel like "damn, this is going to go somewhere". Something like chemistry and attraction can be felt, but it's not real, it'll vanish or turn into anxiety ("oh my God, he wants to TOUCH me? wait, I didn't sign up for that"). He's got to be physically attractive to me for me to throw caution to the wind and say "let's do this".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:45 PM
1

I can't help you there. I can tell you outliers exist, but that'll be cold comfort.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:04 AM
8

Can you really think of nothing else besides this one thing? Is that it out of all your capacity? You asked about biology. What women tend to bring is beyond the animal side of us, into the civilized, human realm. I can't help you with biology because men are usually built tougher, larger, taller, etc. and do not fall prey to the whims of a uterus once a month. Which, bully for you. But where would you be if we didn't offer you acceptance, interest, grace, nurturing, and love? If we weren't inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:55 AM
4

I'm not? That's funny, I find him fascinating as fuck and could lie in his arms for hours just exploring who he is, listening to his stories, enjoying the sound of his voice. We write ridiculously long emails for people who met in person on Saturday. If I haven't done as much, it's because I never met the man who did this much for me before and am trying to figure out how best to reciprocate (besides the obvious; we are both fairly slow-paced humans in that respect).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:50 AM
5

"men have to restrain their biological urges while women don't" (debatable). seriously, I've never been this tempted to run upstairs on a second date and find out what beard burn feels like on my thighs
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:47 AM
6

I'm really sorry some woman was so rude as to ask you what you bring to the table outside of PPD. In here, anything goes, but out there that question is really crass and unbecoming of a lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:45 AM
3

I'm defective. I was 19.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:38 AM
2

On a first date? Any mix of 1, 2, and 4. Looking for long-term. I think, as adults, we can come to a mutual understanding of exclusivity rather than him asking me to be his girlfriend, but yes, we kind of have to be something before we sleep together. Like, on the same page at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 03:30 AM
3

whistle nine years and counting :D
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 04:54 PM
3

What I am more asking is say if a sandwich or pasta can replace donuts. Ironically, in my life, both of those things have. Literally, I don't eat donuts anymore. Too sweet. I'd rather the sandwich or the pasta.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:52 PM
3

If I can't have the relationship I want, with a man I desire enough to have sex with, I am 100% fine with the life you described. I don't even need the sperm donor, as I don't want children.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:51 PM
1

At 20 I was aggressively trying to get the good man, he was in his early 30s and dating women in his own age range. Didn't want jack to do with me. And I was at least a 6/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 01:15 AM
4

Same! Coexisting very happily with men, in fact -- three came to my rescue in a big way last night (never leave anything behind at the courthouse, it is no longer open after 5 PM) and I was really and profoundly grateful to them for helping me not die of med withdrawal. There is no girlbossing at my job. We're cooperative in nature. We're all about equity and everyone bringing something to the table. Goes with what we do, though. I'm capable of being a woman in management, but it is a collaborat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 10:33 PM
3

You couldn't be more wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 09:04 PM
2

re: the cash thing -- Gail Vaz-Oxlade puts struggling couples/families on cash diets, and her jars are the best thing since sliced bread. For the jars to work, receipts must be saved and spending noted down, but the method does turn people's lives around. Prioritizing is, however, an important part of a couple's finances. How important are your MIL's massages to her health? Can she only go once a week and maybe someone else in the family helps her work out the kinks the other two times? Does you…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 08:43 PM
1

I haven't checked on either of them, so for all I know they died of COVID. Especially the Olde Pharte.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:11 PM
1

That girl is about as vintage as the Big Dumb Hat skit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:55 PM
1

Public urination: not sanitary in the slightest, we have entire infrastructures built to deal with human waste. Breastfeeding: milk leaves breast, goes directly into baby's tum. No byproduct to stink up the joint, just a brief view of the boring bits of a woman's breast.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:52 PM
1

Sorry I used the men's room that one time, in fairness something funky was happening in the ladies' and I was told not to go in there
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:49 PM
2

Reeks of it. Phew, I need to open a damn window.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:19 PM
1

Attitudes are that are why average women have a hard time marrying even average men. bEcAuSe DiVoRcE rApE!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:17 PM
3

I'm pursuing my passion at a 9/5. Am I a unicorn?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 07:14 PM
1

Oh, California. [sigh] I'm sorry. You really couldn't pay me enough to move there.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 06:51 PM
1

I genuinely feel sorry for your wife's friend. I think not having kids when you dearly want them is as painful as being forced to have kids when you don't. Of course, I also feel for her husband: it must be awful to have that pressure coming from your spouse. People should be on the same page. The woman you dated shouldn't have felt pressured by society -- I believe that you didn't push her, you were just interested in kids. If the social pressures were off and people stopped screaming about bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:50 PM
–

Assimilation isn't a great goal, tbh. My mother lives in the US. Is she assimilated? No, and she's not only happy that way, she contributed in a meaningful manner to society her whole adult life. You don't need to do as the Romans do to make Rome a great place to live. If anything, I'd say a society loses something by the forced assimilation of its immigrants. Particularly US society. Believe me, white red-blooded Americans will be able to keep their hot dogs and baseball alive; it just won't be…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:43 PM
3

I was missing those same 5-7kg but doing boxing twice a day on top of diet etc. it came to a point where he came forward and was like ‘would you be open to considering Lipo?’ I said sure. He paid for it etc and after we both were happy. ...okay, that's girl game: you got a man to pay for lipo?!
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 06:39 PM
–

I can speak to the Turks: at least in our hometown, they seem to be integrating nicely into the local population. One of our major football stars over the last 30 years was Mesut Ozil. My aunt, who inherited the family tendency to panic over the slightest bump in the road, has heard no rumblings about Turks taking over Germany. If she ain't bovvered, I ain't bovvered. ;) Russians in Ukraine are mainly there as colonists, not actually immigrating for better economic opportunities. If you immigrat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:28 PM
–

Boy, would some man have been laughing his ass off thinking he'd impregnated me until I showed him the hysterectomy scars. Sorry, man. No subsidy for YOU.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:21 PM
–

Immigration is right there
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:18 PM
7

I really do hope the girl bosses that are living it up right now with their smug misandrist superiority end up alone and regretting their choices you know that isn't, in fact, all of us? I knew kids weren't for me when I was a kid, not when confronted with some choice to become a girlboss (hahaha never) or... what, to spite men? That makes no sense. Are you trying to say you know childfree women who are childfree because they want to deny men a legacy? In any event, being CF hasn't been difficul…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:02 PM
4

I made similar choices. I knew I didn't want kids and don't particularly enjoy long spells of caring for them, so having them would've been an ego move, a, but also b, my genetics are terrible, and c, the pregnancy itself would've wrecked me. And all this was before I embraced the low, low wages of nonprofit life (which I would not trade for the corporate grind). Better never to bring kids into the world because it's the done thing. I make a great aunt, but a terrible mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 05:57 PM
4

Yeah, as a childfree woman, what she did was shitty and gaslighty and most of us are not going to do that to y'all. I have it up front and center in both my profiles that I not only don't want kids, I'm not big on stepkids under, like, high school age. And cannot have them anymore because I got snipped. And there are still men who have "Wants kids" and "Has kids at home" liking my ass. Why. If my next date goes as well as I hope it will, I'm deactivating anyway, so.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 05:50 PM
11

You can date these young women who are complaining that older men aren't fun enough to go on a bender with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 05:04 PM
1

Did you know that ukrainian men who refused to fight in the ongoing Ukraine-Russia war were scorned and ridiculed by ukrainian women? ;) Hey, considering the number of Ukrainian women tweeting from the front lines, they kind of have the right to point and laugh at the guys who fled.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:27 PM
2

I'm on my way to being happily taken, anyway. He's sweet to me, he can look after himself without relying on a sugar mama, and our tastes in everything are dead-on aligned. He's kind of a miracle.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:16 PM
–

Yup. My life needs its dose of chaos, and boy, does this place supply it. Just kick back, relax, and enjoy the decline.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 09:13 PM
1

There was no point. I wanted a relationship that might lead to marriage, and I knew I wasn't in a place to be that person for someone else. Why bother with casual sex that was only going to leave me loathing myself when I had two hands and an Internet connection?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:56 PM
1

TIL: 4'11" and 100 lbs is obesity :) this is the biggest I've been, by the way :) :)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 08:55 PM
1

why do you think I haven't had sex in nine years
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 07:26 PM
2

Disclaimer- She says that she would only target the top 30% of men and was picky. She was an older lady looking for a younger man. Well, there's her problem. She can get sex from Divorced, Single Dad Hank Hill all the damn time if she puts herself out there on OLD. Will it be good? Doubtful. Will she like herself in the morning? Doubtful. But sex is sex, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 07:25 PM
2

Yeah, if they're on their fifth anniversary and one of them has said "let's never marry but cohabitate instead" and the other one hasn't objected to that, they're probably in it for the long-haul
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:45 PM
4

South Korea is a lookist hellscape. Don't hold them up as any kind of positive example.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:22 PM
2

You make an excellent point. If the right person doesn't abandon his years-long relationship for me once he's had enough time to figure out that I'm the right one for him, obviously one of us is the wrong person for the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 02:17 PM
2

Very fair!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:10 PM
8

Your heart will go on. And does, and can.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 09:22 PM
2

Don't marry him without having serious feelings for him, first of all. The Wall... just read back through the last few weeks of posts about the Wall, you'll understand when I say it isn't as big a deal as you think. This guy is not your last chance. Note that I am not telling you to leave. I am saying you have a little time to make up your mind and keep vetting him. If no feelings become stronger... don't marry him and for God's sake don't have his baby. Don't tie yourselves together unless you …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 09:13 PM
1

I am physically attractive and mildly autistic. I'm perfectly happy this way. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:03 PM
3

Oh, wonderful! :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 04:41 PM
40

I feel like you kind of buried the lede here. You're a dancer? With all of your clothes on or not? How does your boyfriend feel about that?
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 03:51 PM
3

I ditched a man who was giving Dad, not Daddy. No way do I want to be the pampered baby of the house!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 03:50 PM
2

I love Kimberly THE WADS Wadsworth for this. She makes cooking super accessible. :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 03:47 PM
2

It's basically the only prestige work that's radically underpaid, anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:04 PM
2

Choices that involve only yourself do not carry moral weight, certainly. Dating is a choice that involves two people. I have a duty to be what I appear, if I'm doing this in good faith and expect good faith in return. To me, there is a duty to be truthful and honest in intimacy, and I'll hold myself to that even when no-one else will. No, no-one is owed said intimacy, but if it is extended, let it not be lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 06:03 PM
1

I have no idea what my current paramour makes, other than that he can afford a house and a car, both of which are not new. On the other hand, it will always be very easy to find someone who makes more than I do, so I kind of have to care if I don't want us to starve together. Barring any drastic change in the finances of my org, or, um, my core values (which are "as long as he can support himself in a decent manner, I really don't give a heck how much he makes"), I'm probably not going to die al…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 05:56 PM
3

Earnings: less or equal, because I want to feel like a man Job status: better, because I want to be proud of her So you want someone who works at a nonprofit, basically.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 05:50 PM
3

Anyone over 5'9" is just "tall" from down here anyway [shrug]
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:04 PM
1

If I had it to do over again, I'd still go to community college, but I wouldn't have bothered with the traditional university environment first. The CC was just more diverse and a better overall education.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 01:28 PM
3

I couldn't use love as a transaction that way. If someone else wants to, I suppose they are allowed, but I would feel like an absolute prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 03:13 AM
1

At first, I dated men I liked and who were at least in school, so -- potential? Sure. But I also liked grad students better than undergrads because they were more grown and more masculine to me. Then I threw everything out the window and started actively looking for men who were older than myself, so I didn't have to guess whether they'd still be in town in two to three years' time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:59 AM
2

My ex and I met semi-organically. I was wondering if polyamory might be for me, so I showed up at a gathering and we hit it off because we had so much in common. I was between the end of my AAS and the start of my first adult job, but I had not lived in an undergrad bubble; at my community college, you met people of all ages and had classes together, and became friends with some of your professors, so established adults weren't this wild and weird concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:58 AM
5

I wonder how many of these older women were just too young to know what they themselves were doing, and are projecting it on the rest of womankind? I ask because I certainly was old enough in my twenties to know what I was doing, and if the relationship wasn't healthy, that was more to do with our mutual misunderstanding of consent. It would have happened with a boy my own age. He didn't manipulate me. Would I like women not to use men for money? Certainly, but that's because I believe using ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:51 AM
4

Can verify, I pulled out my measuring tape this afternoon just to make sure I had picked an appropriately tall man. I keep one in my purse for this reason and only this reason, nothing sensible like taking clothing measurements at thrift stores.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/23 02:47 AM
–

My point is that "take multiple birth control pills" actually does work. You didn't believe him, so you said he was too young to be here, but this has been received wisdom since the 1990s. He's not too young.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:48 PM
10

It's rather a classic PPD tactic. If your experiences deviate from the point the OP is trying to make, suddenly you're outside the target demographic and don't count.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:35 PM
–

You may also be a bit young to be here, then: pre-Plan B, the general wisdom was to take a number of birth control pills all at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 11:33 PM
4

I literally unmatched with someone because he sounded like he was mocking and condescending, so tell me again how I'm favoring toxic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 03:01 PM
4

You must be talking about a very specific subset of women. Likely women who were "wine moms" back in the 2010s. That sort of woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:20 AM
1

You see youth as something to value. I do not. I see youth as something to be outgrown, and manhood as something to be grown into.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/23 02:17 AM
7

Ooh, no. Men are worlds more attractive at 35. 25 is barely starting to be a grown man.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 10:46 PM
28

Don't believe him. Don't ever believe him. He will escalate from hitting inanimate objects to hitting you. He'll be sweet to you at first -- this is the honeymoon period. But the same abuse will start again, and make no bones about it, it was abuse.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 07:07 PM
1

so, I love it when people go "oh shit it's you" :) We're cool. I'm just genuinely concerned you're in a bad place, you know? If this is your outlet, have at. Much love.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 05:30 PM
1

Your opinions bely self-loathing. That's going to make your username a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:15 PM
1

Not if the difference in hours is small, like 35 and 40. If he's consistently doing a 50+ hours week and I am not, then I'll pick up some slack, but there's still got to be a reasonable split! And not according to earnings alone. I may end up exempt with a large workload but not a large salary; I don't want to be told that, despite my workload, because I'm the lower earner, I pull the "second shift".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:10 PM
6

For allosexuals, it kind of is. I mean, you as a person may be fine with a dead bedroom, but I would not be even if I were the cause of it. I'd get around to missing what we had. And monogamy does rather imply that this is your only sex partner. Again, you as a person may be fine with non-monogamy; I am not that chill. Too many people in one relationship just make me antsy. Since for me, relationships do eventually involve a full and satisfying sex life, this guy isn't unreasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 04:06 PM
2

I did not accept my father having a mistress. I say this with love: you may need professional help. You sound like someone who's got a lot to work through before you can embrace life as a middle-aged woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:57 PM
6

Men are better looking, but women want them for money and power, not looks? And you're a woman? So, are you including yourself in this?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:55 PM
2

Florals for spring. Groundbreaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 03:52 PM
3

It's when he takes it out on women that it's unattractive. To be clear. If he's just periodically down on himself because he's not as tall as other guys, I'm happy to assure him I don't care about his height. (Literally cannot remember how tall the man I'm seeing this weekend is. He's unbothered, so he's probably over 5'7". That's the extent of it!) But if he's insecure and constantly making it my problem, not just in a "hey, can you give me a boost?" kind of way -- time for a therapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:39 PM
5

If I wanted to stay, and for me it is not an immediate deal-breaker, I would indeed sit down with him and try to talk about why he stepped out -- coming from a perspective of "Is there anything I can do?" and a desire to heal the rift. I would be gentle, especially if I knew I was part of the problem. But I would also express that if there is a problem, he and I need to face it without involving a third person who is neither a sex worker nor a therapist. (On the grounds that sex workers generall…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:36 PM
1

Eyyyyy. I love mocktails. What's your poison?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:52 AM
7

Thanks. I'm just trying to offer you hope: they're not all looking for hookups, especially after 40. You can filter by long-term dating/wants a relationship. And I do. You can swipe left or click the X to get them to go away if it's obvious they didn't read your profile. You lose nothing in doing this but 30 seconds. And you might gain some really awesome connections.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:47 AM
26

You've missed the entire point, though. You're still leaning very hard into the superficial. I read you as masking everything that makes you unique in the name of pleasing a hypothetical RP man, which is not actually the RPW goal. Who are you? What kind of human being do you want to be when you grow up? We don't submit to just any man. We submit to our Captains, once we've vetted them. Being agreeable is different. You're subsuming your entire self into his, and it's not going to sustain you. He…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:40 AM
8

As usual, Jenn is right, but particularly about the number of men our age out there who are interested in starting over after a first marriage. Today is Thursday. By this time Saturday, I will have had two dates in a week with men who do not have children at home, which is my major criterion regarding children. I'm childfree too, but I don't care if the kids are adults; the point is not to be Mommy. This is honestly a standard I had no problem relaxing once I figured out that grown children are …
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:28 AM
1

🏆
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 01:14 AM
22

I don't know when you were introduced to RP for men, but apparently it was long enough ago that you've already spent $50,000 trying to push the Wall away. I'm 37. I say embrace the Wall. That doesn't mean blackpilling yourself. It does mean aging gracefully, understanding your value underneath visible signs of youth and fertility, and having a solid moral and ethical foundation to base your life around. If you've made mistakes: understand what the mistakes are. Do better next time. Maybe enter n…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 01:11 AM
1

Women often cannot leave unhappy marriages. For exactly the reasons I've outlined.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:45 AM
3

I value status to some degree. I tend to gravitate either toward men in the human services, who can relate to what I do, or men who are interesting and well-rounded doing whatever it is they do and can clearly take care of themselves on their salary. The "lawyers and doctors" thing is only a joke in my house, but professors legit excite me. How does it relate to superstar jobs? I guess normal women know we aren't going to attract superstars -- we make jokes about Justin Trudeau being single soon…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:44 AM
–

Arguably, being sexless is not as dire a fate as being homeless and unemployed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/23 12:31 AM
1

I'll get more tail from them than you will from straight women :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:09 PM
2

The percentage of men who care about women as more than holes to be fucked is greater than zero. They are the ones to be chased.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 11:05 PM
2

This is great. TYSM for the hookup; these sound really doable.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 10:26 PM
3

I mean, sure, if you want to get wrecked on a Friday night, maybe it's enough. Women with any self-respect, however...
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:18 PM
2

Those men are not the target. Ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:04 PM
3

If Current Interest works out, I plan to love on his dog just as much as she'll let me. His dog is just as important to him as my cats are, and we already understand this about each other. You'll have to slip me some dog treat recipes because that could be an excellent "afternoon in" date! On a sober note: my ex's dog had to be put down about three years into our relationship. I came straight out to see him when he said he needed me there (we were semi-LDR, about 1.5 hrs). I packed my bags knowi…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 10:02 PM
2

So far this has not been my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:57 PM
4

What? No. Flat no. Ladies, we too can always better ourselves, so we need to get cracking. Just existing is NOT enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:51 PM
0

You can go from “eh” to “holy shit he’s hot” with very minimal effort (a little Google research, experimenting, and some extra cash). This is so true. A man who bothers to watch Queer Eye and act on the urge to glow up is, like, gold.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:46 PM
0

Well, I do. See comment in other post about wanting to smash enthusiastically. That doesn't happen if I'm not physically attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:46 PM
1

For most women Christmas comes around more often than them lusting after a man. Hey, speak for yourself!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 09:36 PM
–

I have nothing to hide. I expect you think I do, but I don't. So honesty is no issue here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:57 PM
1

it's also higher in communities where neurodivergence is more prominent All of the ND people I know are pretty damn empathetic. We feel things differently, that doesn't mean that we don't feel. Sometimes what we're feeling is so intense that it overwhelms us. So please, do go on with your stereotyping.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 07:56 PM
–

Unless you're 100% sure that you'll be down for it when he wants it, even if your circumstances change and there needs to be a time when you two abstain, just don't get married? Even though you don't have a crystal ball and for all you know it could be great the whole time?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:44 PM
–

"Have sex with me or I'll leave you" is an especially bounded choice when "I'll leave you" means "you'll be homeless with your children for an indeterminate period" and "you won't have a job because you've been out of the workforce for so long". This is reality for many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:25 PM
1

You can blame the romances I grew up reading for the idea that a marriage has to be passionate! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 06:19 PM
1

people will get into relationships based on lust but then be surprised when it doesn’t work despite never considering the factors that make a relationship work. I'm a "porque no los dos?" person. I need the lust AND the factors that make the relationship work :D
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:33 PM
-1

Lord, this. At least read our profiles first. If yours say "Wants kids" or "Has kids at home", clearly you didn't pay attention to mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:31 PM
1

I don't think looks and spark are as trivial as you make them out to be. You have to want to smash. I'm sorry, but you do. Dead bedrooms happen when women choose men who can't give us the tinglies, and if he's too ugly for us to want to go to bed with him within a reasonable timeframe... welp. I don't want a dead bedroom any more than, I'm sure, my future partner does. So I vet for looks just like he vets for looks. Worth noting that Current Interest has no social media presence, and could in fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:29 PM
2

Wow. If you can't even bring yourself to make out with him for months, you need professional help. (Or her. I'd say the same to a guy refusing.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:15 PM
–

It's a disgusting choice to have to make. A person who asks another person to choose like that on a regular basis is no better than a rapist.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 05:04 PM
3

When you say sex, do you mean all forms of intimacy that generate an orgasm, or stric'ly dickly? I was not cleared for penetration with anything for four months after my hysterectomy, but everything else was OK after something like three weeks. I mean, at three weeks I was still having intermittent bleeds, so there's a "yuck" factor, but it's not like my hands were broken. Just my vag.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 04:57 PM
1

This has been the coolest discussion to wake up to. Thank you for the lowdown on what's out there surgically!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:44 AM
2

Oh, I agree with you. I'm sorry for misreading you. I am active on OLD and arranging to meet someone this weekend - to him, I am driven, smart, and sexy and he's the kind of fun I need to unwind, so you see it's hopeful still. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 10:42 AM
5

"No disrespect," he says after an extremely disrespectful sentiment. You sound young.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 11:24 PM
6

Why not all three?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:42 PM
2

As someone with a sizable trans friend group: Vaginas are easier to create, but will never function quite right (can't self-lubricate) and need to be maintained using dilators.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:40 PM
2

It'll be nine years this October: since the last relationship I was in. I also did not want to be intimate with anyone, no matter how hard my ex tried to push me into it after the relationship ended. I had to heal. Getting under someone was not the way to get over him. My sexuality is responsive to the person I'm with, very reciprocal in nature -- I can be seduced, I want this very much, but I'm not going to seek out a partner solely for sex. I need love and trust, and I've only felt that for Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 09:38 PM
1

That's the sidebar. It rather speaks for itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 06:12 PM
1

PurplePillDebate is a neutral community to discuss sex and gender issues, specifically those pertaining to /r/TheBluePill and /r/TheRedPill. Please see our wiki for more information about rules, flair, subreddit jargon, and more. I mean...?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:51 PM
8

According to the sidebar, this isn't just for red pill men. Y'all who act like it is... idk
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:28 PM
7

So call it "red pill circlejerk".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 05:17 PM
10

Men are generalizing women's experiences when plenty of women who have had similar experiences to each other are telling men their truths. So why do the experiences of women on here somehow matter less than men's experiences of women elsewhere? Why not listen to the women who are actually talking about our experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:45 PM
12

Well, why are men talking as if this isn't a forum of women from across the western world with similar experiences, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 04:41 PM
7

not this woman. that's just rotten to do to the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:41 AM
1

*approximately fifth
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:06 PM
–

Your friend circle has interesting opinions on men. There are men you fuck forever. They're called husbands. If you don't choose one you can fuck forever, you will end up divorced. If he's not a 10 on your personal scale, what are you doing with him? Using him for resources? That's the worst way to get men to respect women, and you're really letting the side down.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 10:27 PM
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I will add more to this, most women will see talking to a man for an extended period, swiping right on him or going on a date with him for an extended period as some sort of commitment in it of itself, so they won't even bother giving any man who won't fit their marry on the spot standards any chances. You're not wrong -- because they get attached. I am in the position of having to find a gentle letdown for a man who, though he is objectively brilliant and probably well-off, lied so thoroughly w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 10:22 PM
12

Why even get married if you're planning on divorcing her for another woman? Or did you have kids with this hypothetical woman without marrying her? And if you did, good God, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 10:08 PM
0

Admittedly I'm at a loss over what to do with him once he proves to be a misogynist, if he proves to be a misogynist. If he's not, it's easy to say "Bro, this isn't a great look on you. What's making you feel that way?" Could I treat a misogynist the same way without him flinging verbal feces at me like some crazed ape?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 09:12 PM
2

goals
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 08:06 PM
2

Schrodinger's Misogynist: he's not a misogynist until you open the post history?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:57 PM
1

Have done both, the beauty standards are way easier to live up to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:50 PM
5

Okay, yeah, that one's just his standards, and falls under "long-held belief, do not try to change my mind on this". If he doesn't want to date a sex worker, he shouldn't have to date a sex worker. Women need to calm the F down.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 07:27 PM
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Some women will still act like they're so deep for giving her looksmatched bf a chance, and give warnings to her friends before showing a picture of him. That's horrible and they should feel bad. I'd be like "look at him, isn't he gorgeous?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:22 PM
9

If he's asking me to abandon a major, long-held value of mine, I'm going to be firm in not doing that. I was vetting a guy and asked him why he described his political beliefs as "other". Hatred for immigrants started spewing out of his mouth and I shut that down fast. God repeatedly admonishes us to remember that we were once strangers in Egypt, and to welcome and shelter the alien among us. So no, "muh tax dollars!!1!" won't hold water with me. Obviously, I'm not going to continue speaking wit…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 07:20 PM
3

You haven't had the kind of found family I have. I adopted a little brother when we were in college, they have a rambling Victorian in the country -- he and his polycule would probably welcome me in a heartbeat if I wanted to retire there. And my best friend! She offered to marry me once so I could get out of the US! Her family is incredible, and if I'm really too lonely here, maybe someday I'll end up there. And if neither works out, intentional communities such as convents are a thing. There's…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:16 PM
1

I have to learn to get comfortable with acknowledging that I'm not attracted to someone physically and telling them. Probably not face-to-face. I can't handle the bad reactions. But I also cannot be thinking to myself "Jesus H., what is he trying to do to my mouth?"
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:12 PM
5

I'm trying to break myself of thinking that anyone is too ran-through to be worthwhile. That's purity culture speaking, and purity culture is kind of evil. While I personally was never out there riding the carousel, and yeah, it'd be nice to meet someone who hasn't had a million ONS, if he had a hoe phase, how can I justify my lack of grace when I pray for forgiveness for my own sins?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:10 PM
5

Flair checks out
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:23 PM
14

Absolutely not! This is what friendships and roommates are for! You advertise for a fellow senior or three of whatever gender you're looking for, and pool your resources to stay afloat. If one of you is lucky enough to own a home, so much the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 03:00 PM
5

Is his pecker still healthy? Is he ready to settle down with a nice lass? Unlike many a man, I don't mind being the girl he picks after he's had Stacy and her seven gorgeous cousins.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:59 PM
1

I get anxious when I'm not attracted to a guy. I wonder "what will he do next?" and "oh God, what if I have to hurt his feelings?" Which is the last thing I want, but sometimes what we both need. It tends to show, and if I'm very long in the situation, I'll have a full-on panic attack. I haven't gone on a date with someone I'm attracted to in 8 years (turns out Mr. Last Night's pictures were between 2-5 years old) so we'll have to see about that one. But I can tell you I hope I'd be a little mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:30 PM
3

Ohhhh no. I'm nobody's equal in dating, I'm their complement. I know I'm the more emotional one and I'm quite upfront about it. I happen to like that about myself. I don't expect men to understand my mood swings. I do my best to explain that yes, I'm Having Emotions and this is how you can help me cope. Or you can hide until I'm done, that's valid, too. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:44 AM
2

Women who are OBs will catch on quickly and start providing sterilization procedures more readily to women who want to be sure they are never single mothers. Since motherhood would by default be single. "Idiocracy" won't just be a movie, because only the dumbest people would continue to bring children into such a world.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:53 PM
2

Nice day for a white wedding... :D But seriously: all the guests in some harmonious colour scheme and the nuptial pair in Their Colors -- that would be fabulous.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:12 PM
18

You're being generous, I would've said Gilead.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:40 PM
4

I think you did just the right thing! Hugs are the perfect way to tell if you want to be held by him on another date. Hugs also tend to leave me feeling protected and cherished. Best of all, they're a form of PDA that doesn't gross other people out/leave the recipient feeling self-conscious.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:36 PM
1

Well, what can anyone do about that but suck it up and not complain? It should come as no surprise to anyone that for women, the odds are good but the goods are odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 05:38 PM
1

Oh, I agree the experience must be completely different. I guess I get my validation from the emotions and not the sexual part. This is also a case of thesis-antithesis-synthesis: X is true for you, X is false for me, therefore X must be true some of the time and false some of the time. (And thanks to whichever brilliant poster put that in the daily megathread!)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 05:10 PM
1

Girls who are into that sort of thing tend to be infinitely better-adjusted than boys same.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 04:32 PM
2

allows you to intimately connect with another human, keep loneliness at bay Sex alone doesn't do that for me, though. Having sex with someone I don't also feel something for before the sex happened is just as lonely as if I were upstairs alone in my room with a toy. And honestly? The toy is probably better at orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 04:23 PM
2

And doing jolly well out of it, yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 03:22 PM
6

If it's eat shit or starve for a little while, most women will choose to starve.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:35 PM
6

absolute jackasses because that’s all I could get This seems relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:18 PM
2

A wonderful, kind, civic-minded man is giving me the rollercoaster of delight and lust and fascination. Like it's literally hard to concentrate today at work because I'm seeing him after. He's not a bad boy at all. He wouldn't beat a guy for looking at me. He knows how women deserve to be treated and we have an insane amount of interests in common. To me, this guy is Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 02:15 PM
5

You may want to try an actual matchmaker instead of trusting the algorithm, here. You won't get harassed by anyone, and the matchmaker will know what your intentions are regarding dating and be able to screen for that.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:22 PM
41

I'd also like to know what makes these particular "females" liberal. I do hate to break it to the world, but sexual willingness does not a liberal make.
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/23 12:20 PM
1

A little of both. The things I like tend to be upper-middle pastimes, and also we're going to need two roughly equal incomes or better to make it. I want us to be successful and still have enough money for the occasional orchestra tickets.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 10:23 AM
5

I believe it depends on each couple's needs. I am probably never even going to become a stepmother, so I think it's right that I work to bring value to the relationship -- that way we just have more options to consider. It doesn't make me a worse First Mate to do this, and in fact he'll probably be happy I'm doing something I love with an unbridled passion. But I hear you saying that your unbridled passion happens to be homemaking, so I'd say mention it to your potential Captain. How does he fee…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 11:35 PM
1

Ohhh, okay! Thanks for clearing that up. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 11:29 PM
1

You're fine :) I think as long as you're true to yourself, it's hard to have trouble with you (both the specific you and the general).
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 11:29 PM
2

Oh, man. You're right about "there's money to be made". Hockey is the real red pill. For starters? Don't be afraid of the metaphorical frozen puck to the head. When you get out on the ice, trust your equipment and don't second-guess your instincts. When you're after the puck, focus, but stay alert to your surroundings because you could get checked hard if you're not ready to maneuver. And play! So many adults forget how to play! Hockey is the most fun you can have on two legs with a stick in you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:47 PM
2

In that 90% of the time, how is his temper? When he's snapping at something that makes him angry, do you feel caught in the undertow? What makes you doubt your decisions? If you can't find the words for it in English, DM me in German, Mum and I will work through it together. (She's from Bavaria so some idioms may be different, but she's really smart about these things.)
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 10:44 PM
1

Hockey players are an entirely different breed. You kind of have to have a fuck-it attitude to play. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:31 PM
3

There is a whole world of women between "flat stomach" and "big chicks".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:30 PM
1

Is this . . . irony?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:07 PM
1

I'm straight, I'm in the US, and I don't find any of our major politicians sexually desirable. Now, if I were Canadian...
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:04 PM
1

I would hate being a queen except in the Queen's Code sense. I'm not a goddess, either. I guess I just hate being put on a pedestal, kwim? I want to be the lionheart to his king. I want to be the First Mate to his Captain.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:02 PM
1

I'm still grateful you reminded me that income does matter to me. I can't abide intellectual dishonesty in anyone, let alone myself. I'm just not coming out and asking men -- I'm filtering by signifiers that he might be better off than I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 10:00 PM
10

Every woman has her own range of what is normal and acceptable; for me, the red pill is not an excuse to direct anger at a woman over petty things. He may be masking frustration -- I know that's why my dad snaps at my mum -- but in my parents' marriage, when that happens, they come back together almost immediately (like, once the situation allows) and talk about it. This is different from when he would burst into anger at the slightest provocation and feel entirely justified in doing so, which w…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 09:50 PM
1

I get dissed for admitting I was wrong about something and that RP is right. I get dissed for saying I was right about something and that RP was wrong. I must be doing something right if I'm pissing off both sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 09:24 PM
2

How does your ideal dating sphere compare to the one we have today? Unfavorably, but I've been reading romances that don't paint the way things were as any better. What country, time period, or fictional world can your ideal be compared to? If I had to choose, I'd say the inter-war period in the West. Should polygamy(multiple wives) be accepted? Should polygyny(multiple husbands) be accepted? Accepted, yes. But it must be both or neither. And it shouldn't be obligatory for everyone. Monogamy sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 04:10 PM
0

Happy for you! :) Part of why I'm "like that" is because it takes about double what I make to be financially secure in my area, and two people aren't tremendously more expensive than one, so I'd like someone who's able to provide his share. No more than that is necessary, though I suspect Mr. Tomorrow can provide more -- I swear it wasn't intentional!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:58 PM
1

Holy days, it was. I look back on it somewhat fondly, in the same way that you think of music festivals -- sure, it was muddy, sure, some of the bands sucked, sure, the organisation was a shitshow, but somehow we managed to have fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:15 PM
2

You know what? You're right. I must have been subconsciously screening for men who make enough to support themselves and trusting that they made enough. Thank you for correcting me!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:56 PM
6

I just hope that a bunch of women don't think that blue gel nails are the key to getting a relationship ya know. Every woman's best foot forward will look different. I look ill as a blonde; men like me as a natural brunette. Red eyeshadow/liner would just be too extreme for my vibe, because I'm so natural and earth-toned. Think muted summer/autumn tones. My nails are white right now and I look filthy rich. :) In terms of behavior, the common thread is kindness and agreeable nature. I practiced h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 02:50 PM
3

So, I don't need to marry in a church in white. If I get married, my ideal situation is the courthouse with a JOP. I will probably be wearing a white gown because I have one and it's objectively my best color, but it's not a "wedding gown" so much as it's a white formal that happens to look bridal with an updo. (Which I found out when people kept telling me so at the event I attended. Uh, whoops?) But if my hypothetical fiancé asks me to get a new gown just for him, in another color, I'll do it.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:36 PM
5

Go you, quoting Godey's! The social historian in me wants to give this comment poor man's gold: 🥇
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:28 PM
3

Mama was Catholic but Dad was nominally Orthodox, so they skipped the church wedding entirely and got married at a registry office in Eppelheim instead. Not surprisingly, even though I would be doing it in the US, I would marry at the courthouse. :) Less fuss.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:25 PM
1

Frankly we’d all be better off if the apps were to suddenly disappear. They’ve commercialized the dating process and fully turned it ink a gamified concept. Although I said above that they work for me, I'd be willing to deal with this and find a local matchmaker instead. I live at the nexus of two very different subcultures -- rural and urban -- and unfortunately I get a lot of rural when I'm looking for urban. If OLD didn't exist, I would absolutely find a matchmaker who would be willing to sit…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:20 PM
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Funnily enough on okcupid, you can get messaged by anyone on the app without needing a match (at least when I used it) That's changed. I'm on there now. OKC as it was used to be dope; OKC as it is now is just a clone of all the other ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:15 PM
8

There are an alarming number of men on OLD who don't spruce up for their profiles. And use decade-old photos as their default. I went on a date and he was not only older but fatter than his profile picture. Coincidentally, I white-knuckled it through that one because he was nice and I didn't want to hurt him, but he turned into one of those morning-noon-night texters and I'm like "STOP NO MORE OF THIS".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:14 PM
4

Dating apps are working fine for me. Yes, I've had to be selective. But I know how to put OLD in its proper place in my life, and not let it overwhelm me. I can't speak to your point about high-value men until I know what you mean by high-value men. Everyone defines high-value differently. I am one of those women who is willing to have flexible standards provided the non-negotiables are met (someone I could want to kiss, someone who's my kind of intelligence) and it's working out rather well. No…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:10 PM
9

Finally, be very careful when seeking male validation. This can get addictive. YES. Male validation is a bit of a trap when it's coming from everywhere. The opinion that should matter is the eventual Captain's. Indulge now and then when you are single, but I seem to remember OP is engaged?
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 02:02 PM
2

Oh, I love me a good coffee date. Women think I'm an idiot, but I know great places. I learned my lesson about intricate plans on a terrible first date years ago. I would rather he and I keep it simple until we have reason to go all out!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:33 PM
2

YES king! I meant to send this yesterday - your style is great and you should feel good.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:31 PM
3

Whither thou goest, I will go. Whither thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people will be my people, and thy God my God. Ruth to her former mother-in-law, Naomi, but some of the boldest, most romantic words in the Bible. Ruth is telling Naomi she's ready to be her ride-or-die.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 04:40 AM
1

I like Willie's cover. But then I was raised more on Willie than Townes or Bruce.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:58 AM
1

Yes! Got a date Monday, just working out who's driving who where since my household splits two cars between three people. He makes me feel like a teenager again, all goofy and blushy. And he's ridiculously smart in the ways I love.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:53 AM
1

Oh? Which branch are you? Dad was an Army SFC. He's always referred to women as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:47 AM
1

I was waiting at the salon the other day, surfing OLD, when a guy legit used female to describe what he was looking for. As a noun, not an adjective. I did the voice when I read the paragraph to her. You know the one. All nasal, kind of like Urkel. Feeeeemale.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:47 AM
1

You know, there might be something to that distinction. Back in the 2010s, I was a "manic pixie dream girl" -- but MPDGs were pretty much just autistic girls with ADHD who let the mask slip every once in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:44 AM
3

The women is the entitled one in this situation, thinking she deserves to be taken out and treated well without giving up sex AND without ever mentioning she takes things slow. You probably aren't expecting this, but: yes. I agree. As a woman who needs to take things slow, a, I don't let him pay for me, and b, I make sure to let him know that I'm slow but I'm worth it in the end. I need time to feel safe becoming his fantasy. And I need the seduction of my mind and my body. If I didn't make all …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:37 AM
0

Lord, Korea's got issues. It takes the worst of Western stereotypes and the worst of Eastern stereotypes and marries them. And it's disastrous.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 03:34 AM
18

I agree with Jenn, and I'm going to add this: I'm a person who is very romantic herself, and will make a little magic for the man I'm with, but I don't do it because I expect something in return. That would be a covert contract. Those are not good news, darling one. When you bring the fairy tale into his life, accept that he is not you. Look for the amazing things he does do. For example: he got you a gold necklace! That's incredibly sweet! And obviously he was excited to give it to you, so of c…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:31 AM
2

Sure. How do you want to be treated? Will "like a reasonable human being" do?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:48 AM
1

[shrug] Hell, why not? What's your poison?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 02:30 AM
3

I have found that since I opened myself to a more respectful attitude toward men as a gender -- Alison Armstrong was a huge influence! -- I have had so many great experiences dealing with men. And men have treated me better in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:55 AM
1

I'm not aloof while I'm getting to know a person. I'm interested. Very much so. It's not a question of your guilt, it's a question of "do I want to bring you into my life?" It's not a game of Twenty Questions, it's just conversation. And it's not "playing hard to get", it's just being sensible about my boundaries. Men who push back on the idea of women having boundaries tend to not be worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 01:00 AM
1

The ones we don't want. Enjoy them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:55 AM
1

Get his name, follow him on Insta/Facebook, catch more of his gigs. Support local artists! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:53 AM
1

Those years were frustrating. But my life is 100% just as good as someone who was never ill. I have a fulfilling job, a family to love me, a date Monday, and the very best of friends a woman could want. It works because I had the proper social and economic support. People whose families can't provide it should be covered somehow by the government, in tandem with nonprofits, to mimic the support that's necessary to recover.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:52 AM
1

Sex is sex. If he leaves me for a man it'll hurt the same as if he left me for any other gender. Oh, am I supposed to think gay sex experiences are a bad thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:43 AM
1

I'd be a little worried about relapses when it comes to addiction, if I'm throwing my lot in with someone. Addiction is an illness, not just a lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:40 AM
1

You have to spend an incredibly long time to only get a fraction of the benefits a normal person can get from it. It was worth the long time I spent with the most effective one. It also had to be coupled with the right pharmaceutical solution in order to have any hope of working. With the right care team, we can be helped to have normal, happy lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:38 AM
1

Well, if she's not warming you up as well, it's rather a pointless exercise. It's quite fun to get each other desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:35 AM
1

I just went to the courthouse. Completely my goal, if you left a wedding up to me. And a family tradition!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:33 AM
1

Aw, man, I love that song. Enjoy the café.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:26 AM
1

Every man on this site who complains about height and facial structure is betraying an insecurity about himself. You couch it in terms of "reality", but it's not a reality I've seen among the actual, real-life people I know, so one of us must be hallucinating and I don't think it's me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:24 AM
5

The Christian suburbs of the American South are about as different from the small city in Germany that I was raised in as it's possible to be and still be considered "The West". "The West" as a concept needs to die, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/23 12:02 AM
0

You can be as loud and proud as you want about your insecurities as long as you're getting professional help about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 11:50 PM
1

That's so fascinating. To me Red Lobster is just another chain restaurant for the petit bourgeoisie to enjoy, not scorn. We are, however, fairly landlocked - in Maine, say, Red Lobster is probably indeed trashy. But around here we're terrible snobs about our diner food. One of the most celebrated restaurants in the city is a greasy spoon.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 10:37 PM
1

I don't take a single name-brand med. They're all generics. How am I feeding into the business of modern medicine? Because someone is kind enough to make the chemicals that I need to maintain my health, much in the same way that Type 1 diabetics need synthesized insulin to survive?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:40 PM
1

How did "middle class" evolve to mean "American highbrow"?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:37 PM
1

Just saying what would make an average man desirable to me. You don't have to be sour because I'm presenting an option for men to level up in the looks department. Just watch a midcentury period drama sometime, look at all the average men in their average clothes. Even the "sloppy" ones have something about them I can't define.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:31 PM
-3

You know? Fair. Fairer than "but muh facial structure! Muh HEIGHT!" You know what you have to work with and you work with it to the best of your ability. What do you wear?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:28 PM
2

Surprise? <3 Nah, for real, you're a guy who's been through hell, I'm not going to bust your balls for having changed what you do and don't tolerate in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:28 PM
1

I'm sorry, but it's not your height that's hurting your chances. Being blackpilled is unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 09:25 PM
1

Me: I'm on meds and am therefore indistinguishable from someone without a chemical imbalance in my brain. Man: SIDE EFFECTS OMG I don't know how to break it to them that I just don't get that side effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 08:21 PM
6

I mean. If the average man took care of himself as well as vintage men did, sure, the average man would be incredibly sexy. Instead of sloppy jeans all the time, slacks or tweeds. Instead of oversized T-shirts, nice button-downs. Where men have choices to up their game, absolutely they should grab them. This is attainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 08:11 PM
2

YES
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 07:41 PM
2

First of all, I love a statement lip. If you feel like your lips are not behaving, grab a lipliner and your lipstick and redefine the shape somewhat. When I've been wearing a full face of makeup, cold cream first, micellar water second, toner third. Then moisturize more than you think you need; you can always blot the excess down, but your skin will be craving replenishment. As for debuting a femme look -- you're at a natural transition point between childhood and womanhood. You can choose to de…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 07:39 PM
3

Guess which of my parents stepped out on the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:27 PM
1

Only in the sense that my dad was stationed in my mum's hometown!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:19 PM
4

"Big daddy government" gave me health insurance when I was too ill to work so I didn't die. I fail to see this as a bad thing. Never could justify seeking welfare. That's for the truly unfortunate among us, who would be unhoused otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:18 PM
5

Are you kidding me? I am 100 pounds of crazy when someone goes for my people, of any gender. I would turn anything I had to hand into a weapon.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 06:07 PM
1

No, no. No, you get to be very hurt over this. I can see why social media would be a major deal breaker for you. I truly am sorry that happened to you. You actually do deserve love and affection. Sometimes that's how healing begins.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:59 PM
5

I did not invite the Marines on the floor below ours up to my hotel room on my senior year band trip. Yes, that IS oddly specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:55 PM
2

Why are you asking them to delete their social media? Curious why having a fun little Insta on the side for the odd selfie and mostly cat pictures would be a deal breaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:43 PM
13

Forgive him and move on. He flirted. He didn't have sex with her. It's a tempest in a teacup. He ultimately chose you and is showing not sign of wanting to leave the marriage, yes?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 05:40 PM
1

See thread, but in a nutshell: you've nailed it. Sian was kind enough to help me unravel what I feel. Sex shouldn't be MAD, you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:52 PM
1

But if she pair-bonded with you and you were unaware her N was high, that would mean she could still pair-bond despite it, yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:04 PM
1

I'm going to care about being kind to a man if he's done nothing but express interest in me, as this hypothetical "ran-through" woman had the audacity to do. If what he's up to infringes on my comfort, I will tell him that, as I hope any man would tell me, and we would part ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:28 AM
1

That's a terrible way to approach other human beings. No wonder all these pills exist. We don't know how to be kind to each other. We don't understand the value of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:11 AM
2

There are two of us under 5' in my department of 4 women (and three, sometimes four of us in the office). The other two in the department are under 5'3". The next tallest is 5'4" and the sole outlier is somewhere around 5'7".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:10 AM
1

Men who try to "get" women on things are inherently unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:07 AM
0

Yeah, if he said outright "Your number matters to me" and they talked about it, I can see that not working out. I hope he can do it in a way that doesn't leave her feeling worthless as a human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 05:06 AM
1

I prefer autistic to having autism, but yes. We are legion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:51 AM
1

If you came into this post already knowing the "right" answer, why did you ask the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:32 AM
1

"Taking time to talk before dating" is not "I don't like you very much", though. With me, it's "I've been very wrong before, so I'd like to get it right because I don't want either of us to get hurt."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:32 AM
0

Shit tests are a large part of why red-pilled men don't respect women. Why don't you just tell him that you'd like to take your time with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:30 AM
1

That's literally the opposite of why I reject a man. I would be horrified if he refused to take no for an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:27 AM
1

It's getting late, and I need to take the meds that will make me drowsy until, like, ten in the morning, but I want to thank you for helping me clarify my positions on sexuality and accept that I might actually be open to more sex than I thought -- and that might be OK. You showed me grace. I hope to one day repay the favour.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:26 AM
1

Right, I may have to get that vaccine then. ;) And also regarding consent: "If it's too early in the morning for you to be clear-headed about sex, whether that's from tiredness or the meds you take, it's a no. You'll thank me later."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:19 AM
1

Oh, gosh yes. The things I learned through my fandom aunties served me well when I did have sex: I was careful about my sexual health and I insisted on two methods of birth control. I might get the HPV vax, but I want to read up on the risk of vaginal cancer from HPV in post-hysterectomy women. Life taught me about enthusiastic consent. Now anyone who asks me about consent gets "Yes means yes, anything that is not a yes is a no."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:16 AM
2

I want the white pill, please. That sounds downright pleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:10 AM
1

It's definitely something to talk about with the man I hope to be seeing. :) He has a daughter, so he's got to think about the message he wants to send to her about what's okay and what's not, and I really feel for him trying to do that, but at the same time the portion of Gen Z that isn't on Reddit seems to be really chill about this stuff. So I hope he and I can both absorb some of that chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:09 AM
1

Wait, you're being serious? Okay: so the man I'm most interested in at the moment can give me the experience of a relationship with an intelligent, settled-down man who likes the things I do and is tremendously easy on the eyes. If things really work out well, I could end up stepmomming, which is something I seriously never thought I'd say until he and I got to know each other better. I'm ready to find time for a date with him, which is a Big Fucking Deal right now. He's 53. I've been looking fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:04 AM
1

you dropped this /s here you go :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:01 AM
2

Why is her value less to you? What if you didn't know she was "ran through", pair-bonded with her, were married to her for twenty years, and one day found out oh! she'd had a little more sex than you thought before she had sex with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:57 AM
1

See, exactly this kind of thinking is why I've become a terrible person who thinks sex is something done to a woman by a man and that decreases her value. Because you men are up in arms about us having sex with anyone but specifically you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:56 AM
1

I'd be fine as long as he took care of his sexual health. And maybe it is a fear of what men will think of me that holds me back, because I think women with women is also fine: women don't tend to judge other women for their number. It's only women who want the validation of men, women who've internalized the idea that sex is dirty when a man does it to you (never with you). You would not be surprised to hear that I grew up around conservative Protestants, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:54 AM
1

I think you would appreciate Six Months in Sudan by James Maskalyk. As a person, he's very zen, sometimes to an extreme that I can't handle, but he was with MSF, he worked in emergency medicine (might even have gone back to that?) and his experiences are phenomenal reading.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:44 AM
1

p.s. Thank you for having this conversation with me. You don't know how helpful it is. Are you a therapist IRL?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:41 AM
1

I can't really be sure. On the one hand, I'd love to have sex with relationship material earlier. If he leaves, I'd love to feel okay about myself afterward, like I haven't given him something I valued. I don't know how much of this value is coming from inside me and how much of this value is coming from many men's attitudes toward women who are sexually active.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:41 AM
4

Hey. You there with the hilarious autocorrect. I'm sorry for your loss. May she live in blessed memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:38 AM
1

So there seems to me to be a few ways around the problem of, well, women wanting sex before commitment. Or completely independent of it. Right now, it's seen as normal and healthy... by many women and some men. Many men disagree with this view and a woman's value goes down as a result. So if those men stopped finding a sexually experienced woman disgusting, maybe more of us would be comfortable trying sex before/without commitment. Admittedly, I'd like that to happen. I'd like the stigma to go a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:31 AM
7

With the one man I said it to, I didn't know until we were a couple of months in. I didn't want him to simp for me; I didn't want him to think I was feeling any more than I was. But when you're willing to raise your N for him and promise him damn near anything he asks, you might be in love. When you're starting to think "Whither thou goest" thoughts, you might be in love. So when all this was happening, I said it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 03:25 AM
1

I think women should wait for love and trust before they have sex with a man, because men are getting the idea that women are disposable or worse, just holes to fuck. If we banded together and held out, maybe we wouldn't be seen as holes. And I tend to think that ONS/FWB situations work for a distinct minority of women and shouldn't be treated as equal options to a relationship. I'm not sure it's healthy to take that much dick for no good reason other than "there might be an orgasm in it for me"…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:21 AM
1

It's when I could barely bring myself to tell my best friend who I was on Reddit. The shame, omg.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:14 AM
1

I mean. It's a prejudice, but OTOH I actually do feel threatened, when I think about it. I'm not willing to do a lot of the things sex-positive people claim are great for me. I don't buy into the philosophy. I don't want to call people sluts, but sex-positive people seldom extend me any courtesy, so it's a matter of still having my pride at the end of the day. No-one is irredeemable. But some folks do things I disagree with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:13 AM
1

Do autistic women not exist to you, or are we just normal enough for NT men to date?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:06 AM
1

Agreed to a point: when it comes to neurodiversity, it's actually the girls who are defective because we don't fit the mold set by boys. ADHD in boys is considered the typical presentation; ADHD in girls is written off as "she's scatty, her head's always in the clouds, what a klutz". Autism is incredibly hard to diagnose in girls because masking who we really are is the default, whether we're NT or ND. When we finally burn out from masking, we realize we have the same problem as guys who have di…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:02 AM
1

Men and women alike: Epidemiologists. Especially infectious disease ones. They go into the wildest situations, risking their own lives just to heal other people. Who isn't incredibly impressed by that? Man in particular: Dr. Carl Rogers, who was not only hot when he was younger, but founded a whole school of psychology around understanding our humanity. Woman in particular: Missy LeHand. She was FDR's right, um, hand woman, and whenever anyone asked what was going on at his White House? "Missy k…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:55 AM
1

Hi, I'm LostGirl, and I'm a judgmental bitch. I'm scrolling back through my post history, especially here, and I'm seeing a person who hates other women for exercising their sexual options. Like they're some kind of threat to me. DAE realize they're scum out of the blue? Because I just did.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:47 AM
1

You haven't known nearly enough six-foot socially maladjusted fans of nerdy things. I have, and I'd had my snootful for one lifetime by the time we were in our twenties and they were telling me, at 21, to lower my standards... to sweaty fat boys whose toilets were unforgivably dirty, who lived in hoards, who wanted me to bear ten redheaded babies (do I look like a goddamned Weasley to you?!). Things like that. Gamers who didn't know style from a hole in the wall, who hadn't bathed in, charitably…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 02:37 AM
1

Where do you get the idea that this is a thing, though?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 01:12 AM
5

In my family, it's exactly like that -- I guess it was the norm in my family's subculture, and we never quite stopped being clannish so-and-sos when separating off became popular. :) I expect I shall have to account for a man's family just as he accounts for mine. Fortunately on this side of the ocean it's just me and my parents, but if I had grown up over there, yeah, it would be the merging of two families, not just two people. And we would discuss what those responsibilities would look like s…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 12:44 AM
6

Agreed -- and deep cleaning and chores make for a wonderful distraction from a missing family member.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 12:38 AM
6

Bless you, you can still ask that :) Yes, it means "In real life".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 12:26 AM
0

Well, you're the same height as my dad, and he's tall enough to give great hugs and make me feel safe in a bad situation. The trick is to find the women who are under 5' tall. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 12:25 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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