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lazysnakes Archive

View 5 posts and 143 comments by lazysnakes on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I would say you don't need to be strong for him, you need to be soft for him...you need to be a huge ocean of love and compassion and hope and joy that will inspire him and buoy you both up to see that things will get easier and better in the future... You are feeling overwhelmed right now, that is totally not surprising... but somehow you need to get yourself back to a state where you are feeling connected and balanced again. Because you cannot give out what you do not have inside you. I cannot…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/17 04:16 PM
1

Wow this is so interesting. Thank you for sharing your experience. This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. It seems to me that a lot of the block originates in the idea that 'degradation' is bad... whereas... if both partners enjoy it, then the notion of 'bad' disappears... surely? For a man to be able to give a woman what she wants in that sense while still being able to respect her afterwards...is what I think most/all women are looking for deep down. And to do that, I guess…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/17 11:21 AM
2

I'm glad they didn't intend harm on purpose. The question for you is whether you experienced it as harmful, in which case it should help to look at that within your self-image and delete it or redefine it. 'Men' are not a homogenous entity, even though we may talk of them like that here sometimes. When you can accept your faults and still have compassion for yourself then you will be closer to being in the right place to attract the right partner. [apologies if that's not strictly RP advice but …
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/16 05:48 PM
2

Seems like a big part of your problem is your mother and grandmother. You know that saying "with friends like that, who needs enemies"? Totally uncalled for and completely counterproductive comments there. I have two good friends who are far more disabled than you are and they have had boyfriends and their loved ones certainly wouldn't say things of that nature to them. It is your job to make the best of your situation. What they decide to express to you does not have to become part of your self…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/16 01:36 PM
2

Yes, PM me :) it'd be good to chat.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/16 08:51 AM
3

Just interested in finding things to help my own marriage. I've been implementing RPW for a year and a half now. It's awesome. Marriage is improved ten-fold. Husband doesn't know and doesn't have any interest in reading theories on the Internet. You can only change yourself to be the best that you can be, and let go of any attachment to what you think you want the outcome to be. Might sound weird, but it works.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/16 08:01 PM
1

Thanks Camille, your analyses are always thorough and helpful. The bullet points were especially helpful. It seems I have created a covert contract or got myself into some kind of mess while thinking I was helping my husband do what he had said he wanted to do. Expecting your man to be a travel agent or event planner and cater to your every unspoken whim is the opposite of RPW. Absolutely! I view my role as to be a facilitator to make happen things that he wants to happen in the way that he want…
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 06:23 PM
1

Thanks for your thoughtful comments Eliza, I agree it's a rather beautiful state to be in when you have found contentment without disappointment. I am also aiming to continue on this path. To be honest I was not thrilled to spend my life age 35 to 40 helping care for my (boyfriend then) husband's parents. That is not something anyone hopes for. He didn't want to be doing it either. But he didn't want to run away from the shitshow left by the doctors. And believing he was an honorable man, I want…
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 03:32 PM
3

The should was relating to him feeling he should be the one to choose and book a destination for a holiday rather than me doing it myself or us doing it together. That is also the way he communicates - he feels that he should do it - I know he is not in the best mental place right now so I try to check that he really does want to do that and offer him ways out or ways to ask for my input without undermining his desire to lead. I feel this is somewhat different than what people seem to have concl…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 10:49 PM
4

Did you ever come out and just say "I want to go on vacation for my birthday" Yes, that's what we agreed when we discussed birthday plans at the beginning of the year :) We both agreed our ideal plan would be to go somewhere hot and sunny together, alone, maybe Spain or Canary Islands, and he said he wanted to organise it for me. I concede it's not a set in stone promise but it is a verbal agreement relating to a specific date. Is it not fairly normal for people to organise birthday celebrations…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 09:39 PM
3

It was more like a discussion - let's talk about what you want to do for your birthday, we decided we wanted to go away somewhere together to get some sun and relaxation and he said he wanted to 'surprise' me with something.... You can't give a specific detailed plan when it's going to be a surprise.... It wasn't a casual throwaway comment and it wasn't a sworn and signed off promise either, but it was a discussion and an agreement about how I/we wanted to celebrate my birthday, i.e. alone, toge…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 09:18 PM
6

"Everyone" being maybe two or three people, notably my Dad who wanted to know whether I wanted him to stay in town for my birthday so we could meet up...so my response is we're supposed to be going away but haven't fixed anything yet. Is that really so terrible? People do tend to ask you what you're doing for your birthday ahead of time... A general desire and an idea are not commitments. Good point. I do need to be more aware of this. Yes the rest of what you say is very relevant. Although I do…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 08:36 PM
5

Thanks I appreciate the pointers on where to improve. Perhaps I was not clear in my story, in all those words I must have forgotten to say that in our original discussion he specifically said he wanted to take me to Spain or somewhere hot for the weekend. That was his original intention, because we'd been talking about doing that for some time. I didn't fabricate that! I'm going to have to check what I wrote now in case I have implied a massive covert contract.....
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 07:05 PM
3

Fair point I guess I did have a lot of expectations and desires...as I alluded to it was a very significant date for me for various reasons, and since my in-laws were so ill last year I didn't even know whether my husband was going to be free to celebrate with me. When we discussed it a few months ago I suggested it could be easier if I organised something myself or with friends because he has been through so much lately, but he said he wanted to surprise me. Probably because he's seen other peo…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 06:58 PM
5

I agree I am lucky it worked out and I am aware the risk of coming over princessy and childish. Although I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that your SO will mark your birthday in some way. A covert contract is when you think "if I do x he'll do y"..... it's slightly different if he says "I'll do x" and you think "okay I'll do y in order to increase the chances of x happening". I'm not sure that that's the same as a covert contract. not adhering to your childish birthday girl covert contrac…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 06:02 PM
2

My best guess would be that you act strong which attracts the type of guys who are looking for a woman to lead them. You need to project true vulnerability and willingness to submit to a worthy leader, without coming across as weak or doormat-like. Practicing RPW and internalising the concepts found here should help you with that. It does sound like you are doing great, but there are always more levels to improve just when you think you've got it! The other tip I will suggest is smile more and b…
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 02:31 PM
2

Wow what a remarkable man! That's very inspiring to read of such great achievements in such a short space of time.
/r/RedPillWives22/05/16 11:20 AM
3

there's no reason to sleep with me at all ouch! well I think your best move is to pull back from him, focus on finding your own happiness rather than trying to get something from him (whether or not that's what you're doing, it seems that that is his perception). In doing so, the way forward should become clearer.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 11:07 AM
3

Sorry if this is a dumb question but have you spoken to him about the dwindling in your sex life? I can't tell if you have. Can you ask him if he still fancies you, without loading the question emotionally by remaining unattached to the answer (outcome independent)? My best guess from what you have written is that there is simply something else on his mind that is stressing him. But of course it's hard to say. Perhaps he is in need of some more emotional intimacy from you in order that he can op…
/r/RedPillWives03/05/16 01:34 PM
3

Thanks so much Camille. It's funny because a man looking after his mother is pretty much a beta activity (if that! carers really have a low value in our society) but it can be insanely hard. No sleep, mental and physical exhaustion, emotional desperation and constant conflicts with the incompetent healthcare agencies. And he didn't let anything slide. It was truly awesome. It bothers me a little that some people can't see how awesome he was / is. But it doesn't really matter what anyone else thi…
/r/RedPillWives02/05/16 01:18 PM
3

This is fabulous, I will be bearing it in mind in order to share with friends in future!! Of course these days you have internet dating, but when I was young and unbearably shy it was pretty much impossible to get to the vetting stage since no-one asked me out! Anyway, thank God I met my husband and had the presence of mind to realise he was a good one. Something not mentioned here, that was incredibly important to me, was to find someone I could trust to look after me if I fall ill. Not that I'…
/r/RedPillWives01/05/16 06:30 PM
2

It really is magical how this works when you see it play out in your life. I have found time and again that if something someone is doing is frustrating me, the answer is to find where that behaviour is reflected in me, and to fix it in me, and then 'as if by magic' it has fixed in my exterior world also, and the relationship with the other has shifted. Such a valuable tool to understand.
/r/RedPillWives20/04/16 04:07 PM
1

Aw poor dad :/ Unfortunately I have been learning way too much about all this stuff of late! It can be very uncomfortable to change habits of a lifetime. But if they can talk about it at all, it's got to be better than not talking and holding it all inside. Really glad you found the info useful. Let me know if you can't find any of the resources xx
/r/RedPillWives16/04/16 06:05 PM
2

From the upbringing they had my guess would be they have issues with codependency? (especially your dad since he got the 'scapegoat' role). If they/you haven't looked into it already, I suggest checking out codependents anonymous (CODA) they have meetings worldwide and there is even a subreddit where they hold online meetings. I wonder if it's something they would go to? I have a friend who says it has worked wonders for him, although obviously not everyone feels comfortable with the group meeti…
/r/RedPillWives16/04/16 02:50 PM
3

I am learning to climb it That's brilliant!
/r/RedPillWives15/04/16 09:32 AM
3

Thanks :D I like you too!
/r/RedPillWives15/04/16 09:22 AM
6

change what you do to make him feel better Yes, it makes a lot of sense :D Thanks again, I think I can see how I can navigate this in a way that will bring us closer. Excited to try now (but can't because he's away til tomorrow!).
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 08:38 PM
6

if he wants to help cook why are you preventing him from doing so? You are imposing the things you want to do for him on him ooh very good points. Thanks for this perspective, I appreciate it. I have taken what I found to be the general consensus here, that women should handle the cooking, and I can see now to a certain extent I have gotten stressed when he didn't kick back and enjoy me doing that for him. Sometimes his 'wanting' to help stems from him feeling 'guilty' about not doing so. (As fa…
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 08:05 PM
6

Yeah, well I'm working on him being more comfortable with receiving. e.g. he feels bad if he doesn't help me cook, he finds it hard to sit back and have someone do something for him. I tell him not to feel guilty and to just enjoy it because I like doing it. The other day he asked me to iron something for him and I thanked him for asking me (usually he doesn't want anything ironed). He needs to know that I am happy to be asked.
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 02:20 PM
7

My husband is pretty take it or leave it when it comes to sex. I generally want it more than him. So I don't have that kind of leverage. But I wasn't seeking the kind of relationship where I would have that kind of leverage, so I guess I got what I was asking for! I see from her blog that she would pin the issue around me being too controlling or too mothering. I really don't think so, if anything, the opposite. I am too easy-going and child-like! He does find it extremely hard to take complimen…
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 01:32 PM
5

I didn't find TRP and RPW until I was 38 years old, so definitely not! Self-awareness and exploring different viewpoints is great, but once an ideology becomes fixed so that people look to the ideology rather than to their own hearts to know what's true, then we have problems. AWALT tendencies exist, but so does free will. Once you're aware of your nature, it's much easier to manage it.
/r/RedPillWives14/04/16 10:08 AM
3

You're welcome :D
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 10:16 AM
3

No not for me, that's why I love it, I have the same problem, most products weigh my hair down. This one is a mask you put on for an hour then you wash off in the shower with your usual shampoo, so it just leaves it silky. But for volume I also found this stuff by Joico check it out, they do a mousse and also a kind of gel, that thickens your hair a bit, I put it on when it's half dry. And it's the only product like that I've tried that I can use. It has a positive effect and doesn't weigh it do…
/r/RedPillWives10/04/16 11:17 PM
3

ha ha, funny isn't it, they seem jealous, trying to get you to fall back in line....
/r/RedPillWives10/04/16 10:25 PM
3

oh I didn't know that, how funny, I'll have to check it out ;p
/r/RedPillWives10/04/16 10:11 PM
3

I'm using a hair mask called 3 more inches... I don't know if it 'works' as I'm at early stages of growing, but it definitely makes my hair feel gorgeous; I have super fine thin hair also :/
/r/RedPillWives10/04/16 09:48 PM
3

I'm always so cold, so leggings/yoga pants plus leg warmers if needed, topped with a warm hoody (pretty colours), I also have a kind of longer length hoody, like a sweat-dress, which is cute. In winter I pretty much have to wear fleece PJs cos it's freezing, but you can find cute styles cheaply, I even got a long sleeve fleece nightie, not a particularly sexy item but it's cuddly and cosy and a lot better than what I used to wear!
/r/RedPillWives10/04/16 09:36 PM
3

Yes, that's exactly it! I am so easily led to seeking the answers outside rather than really facing up to what's inside (which is kind of odd as I am also really contemplative and spend so much time day-dreaming in my head....) you really have to strip yourself down This is exactly the process I'm going through. I am definitely getting there! Funnily enough, I also started a 'decluttering' group with a friend, which is essentially the same process - but acting on the external environment. (Clutt…
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 03:46 PM
3

Thanks! <3 <3 I only found this place a while after I'd gotten married, so it's a bit argh to look back and see all the mistakes I made and things I could have done better, but it's also really interesting and satisfying to reflect on how, through a mixture of luck and pure instinct, I have found myself in a pretty good place, all in all. And now I know how to show this gorgeous guy I really care about him :-)
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 12:07 PM
3

He is comfortable regardless of how much or how little he socializes Interaction Independent?! I'll have to repost my online dating guide at some point. That'd be awesome, for sure. I love 'how we met' stories. :0) So do I! :-D
/r/RedPillWives09/04/16 09:21 AM
4

Hope to join in irc chat - is it available for a cell phone app? Thanks! I was there the other day and I think some of the ladies said they were there on their phone - u/_wingnut_ was that you?
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 06:41 PM
3

Sounds like you and me would have a lot in common! That's really interesting to hear. Is your partner also an introvert? How did you meet? My husband and I are both pretty shy and introverted types. We met at a party though. Probably made a beeline for each other!
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 06:34 PM
3

travelling to, working in, and living in developing nations That was one of my dreams too :-) With my ex I lived and worked in Cambodia for a year, and my last job we ran projects in Kenya. My husband isn't into going to those kinds of places, so I'm glad I had those experiences beforehand. Now we're just focusing on travelling to Italy and America. So much to see!
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 06:25 PM
3

Wise woman!
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 03:06 PM
5

From the evolutionary perspective, the man's desire to mate with as many women as possible is to ensure he has as many offspring as possible, therefore it's about getting his seed in as many uteri as possible. The PIV bit is just a means to an end.
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 12:10 PM
3

Would players always be people who have narcissistic or otherwise dark triad personality traits, or is it more complex than that?
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 11:48 AM
3

Yeah I think so! So for these men their SMV is too high relative to the woman's that he sees bringing her onto his team as not worth it for him, from a cost/benefit point of view?
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 10:30 PM
5

Ooh that sounds lovely!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 05:34 PM
3

the average man can't pull off high SMV plates often. The average man can get hotter sluttier women, but those women would probably be having sex with a lot of other men at the same time. Ah yeah that makes a lot of sense, thanks!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 02:30 PM
10

Hi everyone, I'm lazysnakes, I've been with my husband for 11 years and coming up to three years marriage. I came across TRP and RPW after we'd been married for 18 months and it has totally rocked my world. We had a really tough time for the last five years, my MIL was suffering from really extreme dementia and the only person who could comfort her was my husband. If he wasn't there she was screaming and calling for him. He went above and beyond to take care of her but it was insanely hard. Not …
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 02:23 PM
6

I will give you a good run for your money on most naive woman lol I was almost completely clueless until I discovered the redpill. I'm sure with three children you have far more life experience than me, I really look forward to reading your comments.
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 01:48 PM
4

I'm in the UK, I'll add you to my 'friends' list, msg me if you ever want :)
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 01:42 PM
5

My goal is to one day live in a commune, run a small farm ooh me too!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 01:39 PM
5

How can I reconcile this with the notion that men value loyalty so highly? Is it that plate-spinners just decided that sex > loyalty? Great post btw!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 01:32 PM
5

Basically, the man who plates women are generally left with low SMV women, much lower on the scale than he could get for a monogamous, committed relationship. I'm surprised to read this, I thought the idea of spinning plates was that a man could get younger, hotter women, and a variety of them. If he marries young, then in a decade or so his wife's SMV has decreased and his has increased. But if he stays single he can spin plates bachelor style and pull the same or better women as he gets older.…
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 01:30 PM
3

aw yeah, my husband is I think the only person I've ever been able to be silly with, I love that about him. I was always so serious. Finding all this redpill stuff has really helped me realise why it's good to lighten up, and let down these defences :) Better late than never!!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 12:44 PM
4

:D yeah it's so sweet
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 07:56 AM
1

That is great you are aware of these points and working on them already. I'm sure you have lots of other great qualities to build self-esteem on. Good luck, and keep on with the personal growth and self-reflection!
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 06:24 PM
4

Yeah sometimes when we are starting to cuddle / initiate sex, I will playfully push him away or pretend to struggle, then he will hold me down a little while I 'happen' to be rubbing my butt against him. And we have a bit of a play and tease each other "no, no, no" etc. He likes that, it's funny, I never realised it was something he liked until I started reading TRP and acknowledged the signs, as it's not something I'd ever done before.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 05:48 PM
1

Apparently the Song of Solomon in the Bible is a good passage to illustrate the importance of sex in marriage. Perhaps it would help to read that. I was bullied for being ugly so I felt that desiring sex and love was making myself vulnerable to rejection and ridicule. Therefore, I convinced myself that I didn't want it. Total sour grapes. That's it then. You can mentally trace back to those events and forgive them and forgive yourself for every bit of trauma that was held on to. You can even vis…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 05:34 PM
4

Women have their own nature, but it's not a handful of terrible qualities that men are exempt from. Well I think one of the things we can learn from RP theory is that men and women might do the same thing for different reasons. i.e. men will cheat if they feel sexually or emotionally unfulfilled in their marriage (wife is rejecting them), women will cheat because they have beta-ized their husband to the point that he is no longer attractive to them and they are on the lookout for someone to bran…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 05:04 PM
1

Is this possible in the missionary position? Actually it's kind of tricky, it is possible, but depends on your exact positions, and it can feel a bit rude as you are wedging your hand between the two of you. Far easier when lying on your stomach or on your sides. I would hope he might be open to trying a different position if it's potentially better for you. It's more romantic on your sides (spooning) or more 'sexy' on your front/doggy style, depending on what he prefers. The only time he's been…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 04:28 PM
3

Thanks so much for your reply, that really helps :) Sounds like I am going on the right tracks.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 02:21 PM
5

How about when you have a higher libido than your husband? Is it up to you to STFU? As a counterpoint to your post - Is there any onus on a husband to satisfy his wife as there is for a wife to satisfy her husband? My husband is fairly depressed at the moment and he does not have a high level of desire. Using RPW approaches has helped support him through this and one thing is I will always be sexually available but not pressure him. This works well, but he hasn't got the energy/motivation/desire…
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 01:53 PM
9

I think to be RPW you have to accept AWALT and that you have an instinctive AF/BB mating strategy. What you do with that knowledge is up to you. This relates to something I commented the other day about the direction of the sub: I realised I had been holding some assumptions relating to the RPW sub that were not necessarily true. My previous understanding of RPW was that we were saying - we accept AWALT and we are going to try our hardest to not let those instincts get the better of us in order …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:57 PM
8

It only makes women look bad within the context of a society that endorses marriage and monogamy in order to clamp down on hypergamy and women's natural nature. In terms of a purely evolutionary perspective AF/BB is absolutely the most sensible approach in terms of producing the fittest offspring, which is why it evolved. Human babies need a great deal more early years care and protection than most (all?) other species. Hence the need for a dedicated adult male protector. But it makes sense for …
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 12:46 PM
3

My advice would be to take charge of your own orgasms and masturbate during PIV sex. But to read that you had sex nearly every day for six months and didn't enjoy it, you felt nothing.....that sounds like perhaps you two are not sexually compatible. But if otherwise the relationship is good I'm sure you both want to work on it. Maybe you can learn to relax more or perhaps you can work towards increasing your responsiveness? In order to address that I would guess you could look into tantric pract…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 07:03 PM
2

nobody should hope to avoid spinsterhood by succumbing to hypergamy Yes I think you are spot on. The risks of taking a gamble on hypergamy can be more realistically assessed when viewed through redpill understanding. This means acknowledging the wall rather than pretending it doesn't exist (truth hurts!)
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 04:12 PM
4

Thanks, that's good to hear. I don't want to be pedantic, but I think that could be spelt out more clearly as this line in your quote above could be interpreted in more than one way Women, you have the ability to find happiness when you embrace the reality of your biological urges and impulses. I know I have taken it out of context, but do you see what I mean? Perhaps it just needs to say 'accept' or 'understand' rather than 'embrace'. Nobody here should be making the claim that spinsterhood is …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 03:36 PM
8

This fracture is interesting and of course, as others have said, it remains to be seen how things play out. More forums to discuss redpill from different angles is something I welcome, in particular I find it helpful to read the differing advice from men and from women to women's problems (where the men have the improvement of a poster's relationship in mind). I also believe there is great value in having a separate woman-only space. I think in future it's going to be very important for posters …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 01:13 PM
1

There is loads of information in here, perhaps some of it has become a little buried. This article on how to communicate in an RPW style with your partner was one of the first things I read in this sub and remains the most helpful article I have found as a woman trying to improve her relationship. Read it and digest it and read it again, the subtleties of communication are very nuanced and english is obviously not your first language so it may be harder for you to get all of it (no offence, just…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/16 11:51 AM
6

Perhaps I'm getting too hung up on terminology here, but my understanding was that AF/BB was a description of the basic female mating strategy i.e. you will grab the alpha for his genetics but lock down the beta for security. As such I didn't think there is such as thing as BF or AB in pure redpill theory. However in reality the alpha/beta thing is a continuum and yes women will ideally look for someone who combines the best of both worlds for her. Your strategy is still the same though. It is y…
/r/RedPillWives03/04/16 11:10 PM
1

I really liked Laura Doyle's guidance. Don't know if that's what was referred to. In any case I guess you would add other things important to you like being willing and able to provide, takes responsibility for themselves, that kind of thing. But the article was an eye-opener for me! ETA: I got a heart! That's so cute, thanks!!
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 10:32 PM
5

He said he won't give me wine again. I told him I think it is better we don't go to his place any time soon, because I wanna take things slow, and he said okay. These are both positive signs, I'm happy to hear this :-D I understand your point about respect. I will think about it. That's great. Maybe don't think about it too much though, just check in with yourself occasionally, a lot of it is subconscious/semi-conscious anyway. Whatever happens, it's early days for you two, so enjoy the developm…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/16 02:47 PM
1

I guess if he wants to get you drunk again, that's a bad sign? If you can both carry on more or less like things were before and you make sure you watch your drinking, then you have a good chance with him. Trying to have dates where you are out doing stuff rather than hanging out at home sounds like a good plan. But if he continues to be respectful towards you, you have to watch whether your attitude towards him changes. I suppose it is - if you don't truly respect yourself, and he respects you,…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/16 01:48 PM
1

I don't hate MRP, I sometimes feel sorry for you guys having to put up with so much cr*p from your wives, but that's life lessons for you. I see it like MRP is a man's way to improve their marriage, and RPW is a woman's way to improve their marriage. I think the post that seems to have offended you is saying that marriage improvement works better if it is the wife who takes the pill, which perhaps is true, but I don't see a reason for any oneupmanship about it. After all, we are stuck in our rol…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 07:37 PM
1

OMG you're so right :D
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 07:02 PM
1

My husband likes to listen to talk radio to help him drift off, or occasionally meditation type 'relaxing' music - both monotonous enough not to engage me too much with a catchy tune or dramatic dialogue. He has it on his bedside and the volume he likes is so low that I can't make out the words anyway. If he has TV on he can use headphones. I am pretty good at 'closing my ears' ignoring the world and dropping off to sleep though, so I don't know if this helps you at all.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/16 11:28 PM
1

It hurts my feelings that seeing him is literally the most exciting part of my day and I am always trying to see him and then when he's just sort of whatever about it it makes me feel bad...I just don't want to feel unwanted Maybe you should try being vulnerable and honestly admitting that you really want to see him, and be willing to take the hit if he says he's not in the mood (without getting tearful obvs) I get you as I used to do a lot of thinking like this, and I think maybe it's a bit co-…
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 08:53 PM
1

Gonna be interesting to look up the female child equivalent Please do post a link when you find them, I'd be interested to look at these too!
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 04:37 PM
2

Really interesting, has given me a lot to think about this morning, especially wrt to the male archetypes. I totally identify with the Madonna type, although there is a tendency in modern world to feel like one 'ought' to be an Amazon, so that is affirming to see. I am wondering where Princess/golddigger fits in. Is that another archetype? I suppose it is an immature version of one of these adult ones.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/16 04:36 PM
1

Oh that's great, I'm really so pleased you found it helpful. It's nice to be able to give something back! I hope you find the articles useful - msg me if you want to chat :-) And thanks for the kind words, I do feel like I'm rather lazy, I often prefer to read and write than to clean the house, but I guess I just need to make sure I do both! Danger Noodle - I've never heard that before - that's wonderful!
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/16 06:40 PM
4

contd. Sometimes there is little more you can do than be sweet, kind, happy and looking good for him. TRP has shown me not to underestimate the power of these things. They really work. The other useful concept is outcome independence - don't do things with any kind of subconcious expectation of what kind of response you will get from him. Bake him cookies, but don't expect them to cheer him up, else you are making it about you. Similarly, be available for sex, offer him release but don't take it…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/16 11:26 AM
5

Hiya, sorry to hear that your bf is having to go through this, that sounds very hard. I am in a somewhat similar situation to you - my husband lost both his parents in the last quarter of last year, both of whom had been very ill (my husband and I had been looking after them for some time). This forum has been an invaluable source of strength for me and helped our relationship loads. You are in the right place! Come on the IRC channel if you are in need of a pick-me-up. I hope this is not too lo…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/16 11:26 AM
1

I was being somewhat tongue in cheek. The real point is you both have a way to go if she can't comfortably say "oh Susan doesn't like red wine, shall I pop out and get some white?" instead of this ridiculous drama. It is not your job to remember everyone's drink preferences. It is your job to decide who out of the two of you is best placed to remember everyone's drink preferences. If you are rubbish at stuff like that, then allocate it as her responsibility. Then she reminds you on the way to th…
/r/askMRP06/12/15 12:11 PM
2

i think the RP theory would indicate that the more you submit to your man, and the more value you provide him in terms of your being truly feminine, then he will feel more comfortable and more alpha in his maleness, probably becoming more socially confident. If you have faith in him, he will have more faith in himself, kind of thing. I see that strategy has worked with my husband, it is an ongoing process though, and we have lots of other things going on, but it is worth considering whether that…
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/15 09:21 PM
1

I would suggest you both look over this book: CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie. A real eye opener. To me the whole process of swallowing the redpill is about recognising and removing codependent behaviours, I see real similarities here. Outcome independence. You cannot control or change others, only yourself. There are also meetings CoDA meetings, like AA but for codependents, that your gf might benefit from if she gets that far down the road.
/r/askMRP05/12/15 07:46 PM
1

Is she on the redpillwomen sub? She may understand better how it works if she hangs out there. She is going through that adjustment phase, I get it, you feel like you can't say things that are on your mind because you are trying to conform to some image of perfection. But the actual aim is a much deeper level of understanding. Internalising the captain-first mate dynamic means finding strength in vulnerability. When I first came to RPW I found encouraging your captain to lead to be a revolution …
/r/askMRP05/12/15 09:05 AM
2

Yes as I understand it is part of dread game. You are not supposed to find it attractive on a conscious level, it works more like it makes you feel a little bit insecure and jealous and then you work harder for your mate's affection. Rationally it sounds unappealing, but emotionally it sparks desire, so you somehow counterintuitively enjoy it. (Fitting with the theory that women like to compete for a strong mate). The exact amount of 'dread' that works will differ from woman to woman, so the man…
/r/askMRP05/12/15 08:50 AM
2

KY definitely helps with the initial pain if you haven't warmed up much. I'm not sure this is a KY issue though: when ... I tried to "pound her" she complains I'm hurting her I think this is a different discomfort. Sounds to me like he is banging into her cervix or something - probably should try changing position so it is not so deep. Maybe when he has increased his SMV relative to her it will no longer be a problem? This used to happen with my husband before I found the redpill and understood …
/r/askMRP02/12/15 07:18 PM
1

Do you build her up during the day, touch her, check her out, communicate that you find her sexy? And also tell her she's beautiful etc so it's not just 'sex' stuff. Also do you check out other women? Are you confident that you are a sexual being and holding a frame of sexual attractiveness?
/r/askMRP02/12/15 01:06 PM
1

So what if it is? You never hurt? How does it feel dead lifting? Heck, licking pussy until your muscles burn, doesn't that hurt? And remember, alphas are dominant. They don't care. They're ok that they step on some toes. They do it in social gatherings, they do it in the sack; they get their way and don't give a fuck about anything else. She's attracted to alphas. I think this is misleading and very counterproductive advice. If it is the pain I think she means, it is nothing to do with muscular …
/r/askMRP02/12/15 01:01 PM
1

Maybe it's the attitude (frame) with which you approached it? It could be "I'm the head of the family and I have decided that's where the resources need to be allocated to right now" or it could be "Oh these erstwhile authority figures need help, I must submit to their needs" - if you see what I mean. Or perhaps your wife is somehow jealous that her mother is getting more of your attention than she is? If she has a bad relationship with her then I guess that is possible.
/r/askMRP01/12/15 11:42 PM
1

I think we are similar in shape and style. I have made an effort to wear skirts more. I have a couple of mini skirts, this kind of style which I wear with leggings. That is cute and actually more comfortable than jeans! You can get the stretch jersey ones really cheap and I have a couple of 'fake' leather ones which are also easy to wear. Then a jumper instead of a sweatshirt or hoodie, and ankle boots/pixie boots instead of trainers. Or I have a really comfortable pair of boots kind of like the…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/15 04:29 PM
2

The Telegraph is the most right-wing paper in the UK. The people who will be reading it are more likely than any other part of the population to be naturally redpill, which makes this all the more hilarious. I have stopped reading the press a while ago but I got the fanciful idea that the The Telegraph attempts to get on the feminist bandwagon as the true left media (The Guardian) completely disappeared up its backside [leading in a roundabout way to yours truly swallowing the redpill]. Dreadful…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/15 06:02 PM
3

Welcome to your new church ;-) Don't fret, I only found this last year, when I was 38!! Thankfully my husband and I didn't completely fall out when he called me on my feminist bs. I found his opinions really hard to swallow, but I knew he had a good heart so I fought against my reactions. Thank God I came across this sub, it has transformed our relationship. There are so many women with such excellent advice here. My main advice to you is not to worry - fretting about anything isn't too attracti…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 05:29 PM
1

I had banged more girls than like 7 other dudes put together That's because you were "in a band"....woop! Drummer?
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/15 06:50 PM
3

Awesome!
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/15 10:10 PM
5

I'm in London :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/15 09:23 PM
1

That was a great comment, but that video clip is off the mark, surely? No man will give a girl like that a second glance, let alone hit on her. She looks dowdy and has short hair and glasses. If you really want to find a girl like that, go to the library. They are silently yearning to feel desired. I know because I was just like that. No-one hits on you when you look like that. The only times men noticed me in my 20s were when I put on skin-tight shiny trousers. Superficiality goes both ways.
/r/TheRedPill07/09/15 11:01 PM
3

Makes them feel mothered / nurtured I reckon. Not many opportunities for a man to relax and have someone else look after his needs in day to day life (especially if they are not in a relationship).
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/15 05:40 PM
1

This is great! My suggestion would be to focus on being happy inside. Happiness is to a great extent a choice, and if you can let go of the feminist anger and find things to be happy about instead, I think you will find you naturally have more to say because you want to share the things that are making you happy?
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/15 04:32 PM
3

good luck on your journey Thanks :-p And to you too... Better late than never, for sure!
/r/ThankTRP25/08/15 03:55 PM
3

Thanks for the lovely recommendation. I agree with you. It helps retain some of the 'mystery' between you. It is actually our anniversary in a few days so I am currently thinking what to wear :-) He tends to be shy and says he is not comfortable dressing up, but he actually looks amazing in a suit (he is gorgeous but doesn't fully realise it because he has been so shy and unconfident that no-one noticed.... ). It seems to be true that the more I embrace my femininity the more comfortable he is g…
/r/ThankTRP25/08/15 02:46 PM
3

Last weekend I made some chicken liver pate and it went down surprisingly well with hubby, so I reckon I will be doing that one again :) He also likes when I do a pot of beans e.g. black beans with chilli, then it makes an easy (cold or hot) lunch wrapped in a tortilla, ideally with a spot of sour cream and guacamole.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/15 02:28 PM
0

Obama previously dated white women before Michelle Oh I didn't know that, shame, yes she just popped into my head, you can't deny that being president is fairly alpha, even if they are just puppets for other people. I don't follow american politics much (or British politics anymore to be honest) but from what I have seen I cannot abide Hillary. Michelle seems more real, but I suppose that is all just part of the brand.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/15 01:13 PM
8

Does Michelle Obama have a good captain?!! Actually just came to say, me too! I actually got into a discussion with a guy on here the other day who would not believe that my hair just does not grow lol But I have resolved to try again. I googled something about growing fine hair long this afternoon and found a couple of sites dedicated to afro hair, so I am sure you will find plenty of tips online. I imagine diet and vitamins may help if hair is just refusing to grow. I am going to try out this …
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/15 08:12 PM
3

I suppose ultimately to continue to encourage him to take the lead in our relationship, to open the way for him to feel more confident in his masculinity after having had to fight against the feminisation of society and feeling it is not right. I am wary that one should not attempt to 'top from the bottom' as it were, so although I hope there are benefits in all this to me (and there are of course) I feel that being without fixed expectations is the best approach. Otherwise that is another way o…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/15 05:33 PM
2

That's funny you should mention red dresses. I was wearing a red dress the night I met my husband. But I don't wear it anymore, he says he doesn't think red suits me. I don't think he likes too strong a sexual signal, he prefers demure and cute, so you are right there.
/r/ThankTRP21/08/15 12:21 PM
3

Yes that is so similar! Yay for the red pill ladies ;-) I was always like - I am not ugly, but not stand-out pretty, however I am stand-out smart. So I figured the extra intellect cancelled out the lack of pretty. Because I didn't realise it didn't work like that. I was also thinking - there is only a very small subset of men who are attracted to intelligent, flat-chested girls, so why bother expending time trying to look pretty all the time, the chances are that I won't come across one in day t…
/r/ThankTRP21/08/15 07:12 AM
2

Thanks for your comment but you have guessed me all wrong. I have lived with this hair for nearly 40 years so I have had plenty of time to try and grow it. Believe me when I tell you it gets to just below my shoulders and stops. It is so thin, and my neck is really long and it just looks rubbish. It does not hang properly because it does not have weight. A shortish bob with volume and movement looks much better. I do consult my husband and he agrees. Most people can grow their hair but I think I…
/r/ThankTRP21/08/15 06:47 AM
3

That's great :D I hope you found an effective way to reward her! I totally understand about comfy clothes, comfort is so important to me. Finding comfortable yet attractive / sexy clothes is a bit of a challenge. It's definitely worth taking a bit of time to plan your wardrobe and spending a bit extra to get items you know are going to work.
/r/ThankTRP20/08/15 04:16 PM
1

Wise words. Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/15 03:42 PM
2

Look up the book 'Love yourself like your life depends on it' . You are only 24. You haven't been in jail or gotten a drug addiction by the sounds of it. You will be fine.
/r/ThankTRP20/08/15 11:25 AM
2

lol thanks I do tend to break my head over things sometimes. Don't worry I am not going to put it into practice for myself! I just feel bad because this couple had a really nasty breakup and I ended up mediating, but knowing what I know now, I would have approached it very differently. I was still like "you have to take everything a woman says at face value" because I really didn't know women could behave like that. And I'm wondering whether they knew about AWALT but still fell for it. Because t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/15 11:14 AM
1

Thanks, yeah that's a helpful analogy. And the principles about how to handle a woman long-term i.e. how to recognise shit-tests and pass them consistently. Is that not touched on in The Game book?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/15 09:09 AM
1

the need to go faster/harder/squeeze-tighter ha ha yeah kegels, get your girl to do kegels. it's better for both of you, I think
/r/askTRP19/08/15 08:01 AM
6

in my experience, going a bit slower in the middle for a little while helps me (female) to kind of feel all the sensations more and then it builds up across my whole body more to give a better orgasm. i don't know what sex feels like for guys obviously, but there is some weird thing where sometimes i can be having sex and not really physically be feeling much down there. it's like sometimes you gotta breathe into it, relax down into your body and get out of your head. (and of course it is easier…
/r/askTRP18/08/15 09:59 PM
3

My biggest problem in relationships is probably losing myself and devoting all of my time and self to helping someone else. I see something of myself in your post. If you haven't already come across it, I recommend picking up a copy of Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie, it may be in your library, or you can get it cheap second hand on ebay. A great book, which explains how to strengthen your boundaries and avoid that kind of 'blending' that happens when you are very sensitive / low self-est…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/15 10:53 AM
3

He wants me to move in with him. .... I told him I want to see how he handles his inheritance before I consider intertwining my finances with his. So I am guessing you are upset because he has demonstrated poor money management, giving you the (subconscious) message that he doesn't really want to move in with you / doesn't respect you or your stated conditions? I get that would be infuriating, but I suppose you can turn it around and be grateful that this has happened now rather than at a later …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/15 09:16 AM
1

The vast majority of men do want marriage and kids. I always thought it was 'men want sex, women want babies' but that was before I found TRP. I'd be interested in more info/links on that issue if there are any. Or is it just a common fact that passed me by?!
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/15 06:13 PM
5

Woah I'm glad you called the police. Stay safe.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/15 01:51 PM
15

You took the anger out of the situation. Smoothly done. He has his reasons for being angry and they are nothing to do with you. Yay for living in London!
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/15 08:58 AM
2

"...is a man's game and women should stay the [eff] out." Sounds a bit like TRP. Which we are able to understand, up to a point. The discussion was following on from 'how would a man react'.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/15 08:57 AM
5

Balling up your fists and screaming in someone's face is provocation, definitely. No it's behaving like a child, especially in this situation when it was completely random. If you act intimidated or provoked you are just giving credibility to his behaviour. The wise thing to do is to side-step it, diffuse the anger out of the situation and show him up to be an inconsequential idiot having a blustering temper tantrum. Which is what she did. You want to know your man could defend you in a fight, b…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/15 08:54 AM
3

I completely agree with you. My friend is a black belt and he recently told me that if someone mugged him now he would just hand over his wallet and walk away. There is a difference between knowing you can fight and choosing not to, and being intimidated. You know what you know. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/15 08:50 AM
2

Yes! That's exactly how I have found it. I tended to lose sight of the big picture when I'm in a relationship, so I used the guide of 'do I like the person I have become' when deciding whether to end it or not. Similarly, my SO and I are going through a very stressful time, but if I ever doubt my choices I reflect that I am truly am a better (and overall happier) person than I was. And remember that sometimes it takes a tough challenge to make a better person!
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/15 04:22 PM
5

We suspect my father in law is a sociopath, although not diagnosed officially he ticks all the boxes. He has a complete inability to even pretend to care about anyone else. (For example, I have known him 10 years and he hasn't asked me a single thing about my life). However he is able to present a veneer of a fun, cheeky chap. He makes everyone laugh with his silly jokes yet it is impossible to have a conversation with him. He expects, and gets, everything to be organised around him without cont…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 06:00 PM
1

This is beautiful! Now summer is finally here I am aiming to use it as momentum to get up and get on with things rather than so many lie-ins / late starts. I'm going to have a think about the ways in which I can make his day start better. We don't really have a routine, and we are not always together, but I was planning on making waffle mix tonight so it is ready for Sunday morning :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 02:14 PM
14

My husband is going through a very stressful time and our relationship and our sex life suffered. I was reading in the relationships or deadbedrooms sub for similar situations and advice. One was a guy whose wife wasn't having sex with him (common problem!) and another guy replied to him 'you need the redpill' - so I thought what's that, followed the link and realised I had vaguely heard of this stuff. In fact, before I came on Reddit I had heard elsewhere that the site was a hotbed of misogyny,…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 02:02 PM
1

What is the Edward O Wilson text you read? I only know him as a (fantastic) biologist - I read The Diversity of Life - is it the same guy??
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 01:32 PM
9

I think that the popular notion of 'equality' is confused by a lack of logic. There seems to be an insistence that 'equal' means 'the same' when it does not at all. If you look at a mathematical equation like a + b = c Clearly a and b are equal to c but they are all completely different entities. You can imagine a set of weighing scales. On one side you have an apple and a satsuma, on the other side a mango. They are completely different, but they balance out the scales, so they are equal. Each …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 01:20 PM
2

it is very easy to imagine a person who never cares about your needs, but that person does not exist, or if he does he is extremely rare How about sociopaths? I understand that 1 in 25 people are sociopaths - they seek to manipulate people for their own benefit and are unable to empathise with others' feelings. And the sociopathic/psychopathic personality is often very successful in the business world, so can (appear to) be an alpha male. I would like to think it is possible to change these peop…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/15 01:14 PM
5

Agreed except I won't waste his time talking to him about it, I just deal with it. Self-awareness is a wonderful thing and TRP has improved our relationship no end. He doesn't need to know why. He has no time or interest in reading, or relationship talks, he has a lot else to deal with right now. Understanding TRP has helped me figure out how best to support him instead of having the whole thing fall apart.
/r/TheRedPill29/05/15 11:16 AM
2

Oh wow when you said late bloomer I thought we were talking older woman. Late 20s, you will be fine! And as you are aware from reading in this sub your background and experience (lack of) is going to be a valuable asset. Being verbally clear about what you are looking for when you meet face to face is going to be crucial to your success. Seeing it as a bit of a game rather than an interview process! You don't sound like the kind of girl who would do this, but don't post any photos of yourself wi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/15 10:24 AM
6

him seeing me at my best was something I realized was more important than presenting myself to strangers at my best Fantastic take-away. Of course! Thank you for that!
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/15 06:06 PM
2

Being a monk in Cambodia is pretty much just a job, a way of earning a living for people who haven't another way, in many cases. Smoking is not seen as bad, it is still seen as pretty cool. People give monks cigarettes in exchange for blessings or prayers. Plus in general people in Cambodia don't take stuff too seriously, a lot of them are like big children. (I lived there at one point).
/r/TheRedPill27/05/15 02:48 PM
2

So compelling to read this here. My first thoughts on stumbling across TRP, after realising AWALT and seeing past everyone's anger, was that it resonated with a lot of the New Age stuff I had been reading, which was a rather unexpected connection. The spiritual component enables one to evolve beyond the anger towards self-realisation.
/r/TheRedPill25/05/15 10:14 PM
4

When we argued, it would always, without exception, come down to the point where I was accused: "Nothing is good enough for you, is it?" Sometimes she combined the accusation with, "Not everyone can be as perfect as you." And I couldn't figure out what she meant by that. Well she surely meant "I am not perfect and I am [worried that I am] not good enough for you" Everything is projection, we are all mirrors of each other. It can be challenging to comprehend the seeming contradiction that we are …
/r/TheRedPill25/05/15 09:59 PM
4

This sounds similar to the situation with my husband. Putting into practice tips from TRP/RPW has helped IMMENSELY, so things definitely have the potential to change :) Firstly be clear with yourself that you want him to pounce on you because YOU are not feeling attractive. That is the first thing you can work on, and you are already taking steps in that dept. Just be aware that a lot of things in life can be sorted out by working on yourself rather than other people. Stop trying to change him. …
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/15 01:48 PM
2

Thanks :D
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 02:45 PM
4

Hi there! I had never visited reddit at all before last year and came across TRP and RPW just before the New Year. Like some other people have said it was completely eye-opening, revolutionising. I believe it has saved my marriage (we weren't exactly on the rocks but we are dealing with a lot of stress and now I understand what my husband needs and how to give it to him. Things have been soooo much better!) I wanted to bide my time to see if it is a lasting improvement, and we are nearly five mo…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 01:57 PM
2

Any ideas on how to help him be the decision maker? He has it in him but I don't know how to help him be the alpha I know he can be. Hey there, I'm new here, but like you, trying to be the best woman I can be :) Have you read the article in the sidebar Encouraging your Captain to Lead? Worth reading more than once IMO. That literally revolutionised things between my husband and I. I didn't tell him about it I just changed the way I interacted with him. It was so helpful to realise that you can g…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/15 01:33 PM
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