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odd_cloud Archive

View 6 posts and 2,163 comments by odd_cloud on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I suppose, objectification became too much of a wide term. If you read the definition of objectification, it sounds spooky like treatment of prisoners in the concentration camp. Often concepts like these become too invasive and applied where they shouldn’t be. A hypothetical example: a plumber at a gas station fumes with anger because he thinks white collar guys wage class war against him by forming a long queue at the checkout. It seems to me that when people apply sociological terms to ordinar…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 01:29 AM
1

Why is it an issue though? There are some self-reported good guys who say that being good isn’t as important as women often claim it is. You suppose that they say it because they secretly want to be abusers and mistreat women. First, I don’t agree that they say it because they are secretly wannabe abusers. Their claim “being good/nice isn’t important for attracting women” says little about their motivations. You need to apply some serious projections to conclude that from their claim. Then, even…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 11:54 PM
1

Does he? Some men say that being a good person isn’t that important to attract women. OPs point is that those men secretly want to be abusers. BTW the general point of her posts is that unsuccessful men are secretly monsters. Ku-rosh’s comment says that there are attractive men who mistreat women and unattractive guys who don’t. Isn’t it kinda the opposite?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 11:47 PM
1

Does he? Some men say that being a good person isn’t that important to attract women. OPs point is that those men secretly want to be abusers. BTW the general point of her posts is that unsuccessful men are secretly monsters. Ku-rosh’s comment says that there are attractive men who mistreat women and unattractive guys who don’t. Isn’t it kinda the opposite?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 11:46 PM
1

I think it’s first better to group people by the situation they find themselves in: - very easy mode: attractive women - easy mode: attractive men and average women - hard mode: ugly women, average and ugly men. So, I think advice for an average guy would be the same as to an ugly woman - idk, just live life, may be you’ll meet someone interested one day. There is not much you can actively do.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 06:32 PM
1

Many women would say, "Looks are not that important for men". In my opinion, being top-tier-looking benefits men much more than women. Another example - as a kid, I had an idea that guys and girls liked each other somewhat equally. I was quite disappointed in my teens when I saw that guys liked many girls, while girls were primarily interested mainly in the top guys (very handsome/rich parents/athletic/musicians, etc), and the guys who were just students like themselves didn't basically exist fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 04:20 AM
3

I'd summarise it as "we live in the 21st century, but pretend we're still in the 1960s". There are high expectations from men, but the social structure that allowed them to meet those expectations is long gone. For example, it is expected of men to provide for their household. It's unfortunately impossible now for the majority of people. On top of that, many women feel like they still work part-time jobs, so their men should bring "real" money. I know one woman with a salary of about $400k, who …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 03:57 AM
–

What’s an equal of that young woman you’d say?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 11:20 PM
0

I don’t know if mods would count it as a proper disagreement, but I think women misunderstand men more than men misunderstand women
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:39 PM
8

It’s like saying people shouldn’t have complained about colds before invention of paracetamol. “Why do you complain, huh? There is nothing to help you”. It doesn’t cross their minds paracetamol was developed because people complained.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:35 PM
–

Do you have an idea of what that elusive it-factor may be?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 01:58 AM
1

Made a long break from this sub. Seems like the sub has becoming worse and worse for a long time. It seems several years ago it was mainly a place to discuss female attraction, something pua-adjacent. It’s strange to see discussions on women’s rights here. Seems like I’ll look for another place for my search.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/24 01:44 AM
1

What is the “fatal flaw” that makes dating life of otherwise well-adjusted guys nothing to write home about? I suppose, they have problem with game, which means presenting themselves and communicating their interest to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 05:28 PM
1

How are the two connected? Depends on the stage of the relationship. In honeymoon period, sex and bjs are frequent. Then, rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:55 PM
16

Offtopic, but a nice framework for you: Woman: breathes Man: breathes -> entitled
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 02:51 PM
–

The best analogy I have about adhd is dyslexia of reality. Like a dyslexic person perceives letters “jumping around”, an ADHDer perceives events, plans, people and their words “jumping around”. Have a look at “adhd simulator” video on YouTube, it’s a good illustration. It’s hard to say why some people with adhd are able to exercise regularly and others don’t. ADHD has different profiles and people have different circumstances. I mean, a person with adhd who is full time employed at a mentally de…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 12:19 PM
1

ADHD is a disorder of executive functions, not attention. Executive functions govern the mind by pointing what the intellect should think about. The person just appears inattentive, so it’s called attention disorder. So, in a person with adhd wants to do something, but his mind doesn’t quite automatically change their behavior. It works not only with short-term tasks, like listening to a lecture but also with long term goals. My friend told me that if his habit was disrupted he could forget abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 12:07 PM
2

Dude, your story reminds me of my good friend with adhd. Just a list of coincidences: 1- you suspect it 2- you begin something, but lose track of it once disrupted 3- not sure but it seems you didn’t do much for your back pain 4- you use cheap energy to help your mind work (carbohydrates and sugar I suppose?) 5- disrupted sleep (may be a manifestation of adhd) 6- having an addiction is super characteristic of adhd. So, my unsolicited advice is to book an adhd assessment at a clinic that speciali…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:33 PM
1

Counter-question: why would you think redpill is about family and so on? A bit of redpill history: In the beginning of 2000s there was a group of men who experienced difficulties with dating. They thought the cause of their problems was that they incorrectly interacted with the women they liked. People who tried PUA noticed that it doesn’t really work well. Redpill was a response to this and discussed that not only interaction, but also what you are matters for dating success. In a sense, it was…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 02:22 PM
7

Ok, so let’s assume that we’re talking about a guy living in a densely populated area, who went to college and works an office job or didn’t go to college and just started working. In short, very few options. He lives his life seeing many attractive women, but his interest is usually non-reciprocated. In a year, he meets 3-4 women who show some interest in him. If he tries his chance with them, most of them lose interest after 1-2 dates. Matches are rare if he’s on OLD. Most of his matches don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 01:52 PM
11

Sorry, it may sound intrusive, but you mention your obesity in every second comment here. Why wouldn’t you lose weight?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 12:36 PM
2

How correct does the following sound? If you’re normal looking guy, you go to dating apps. If you’re attractive you approach. If you’re unattractive you give up or get lucky. If you’re a normal looking woman, you do what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 01:56 AM
2

I wonder what people who oppose suicide think. Kinda like pro lifers “be here with us, but we won’t do a thing to help you”.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:07 PM
1

Why no?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 11:05 PM
1

Yeah, 2 bastards diagnosed me with a chronic illness while it was in fact infection. 3rd bastard cured the infection, but symptoms repeated, so he started testing me for allergies and intolerances. 4th doctor thought “what about the second infection?”, which I really had. I think if I just took all possible antibiotics, it would be quicker and cheaper than talking to those morons. It took me one and a half fucking years. I got traumatised during birth due to incompetence, my relative was dischar…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 10:12 PM
1

Welcome. I mean, it’s okay to feel butthurt, but sometimes it may be too much even for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 09:59 PM
3

Dude, I’m not feeling fantastic about dating and relationships, but I’d consider some actions towards mental health in your case.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:10 PM
2

Doctors have very inflated egos because they may be irresponsible at their job and rarely get response for their mistakes. In such atmosphere, it’s easy to think of themselves as all knowing and all powerful. I had a couple of medical problems for which I visited 4-5 specialists. Can you imagine that you hire a contractor to build a house, and he’s like sorry, your house fell down in the process. Than you hire an another one and he’s like, we almost finished, but it fell down. So you hire anothe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 08:09 PM
2

Typical male experience looks like struggling if compared to a woman’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:47 AM
1

Depends on your definition of struggle. I had a gf in college, but it wasn’t that easy for me. Some guys be like “you’re my gf now” and she’s like “okay”. I’d define this as not struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:45 AM
1

Simply rarely getting interest from women. Women from my circle typically have had more romantic experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:39 AM
1

Buy 1-3 a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:26 AM
1

Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:17 PM
2

I’d say average guys success is close to zero so may be considered zero
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:10 PM
1

Wow. Vulnerable species you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:07 PM
1

I’d say half of my circle is like that. Id say most men from my social circle experienced problems attracting women. Women coasted through dating mainly.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:06 PM
1

One’s normal. But when they say they don’t know men who struggle, it sounds like each of their fathers, brothers, cousins, colleagues, classmates, friends and neighbours have slept with dozens of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:01 PM
1

Kinda true, having casual sex isn’t something every man can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:01 PM
2

Do you only talk to chads? Or do you live in an chadlandia and even your hamster has 3 fwbs?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 09:00 PM
2

Depends on your definition of frustration. I know very few guys who’d say dating for them is going as they’d like it to.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:59 PM
1

That’s normal. But when they say they don’t know men who struggle, it sounds like each of their fathers, brothers, cousins, colleagues, classmates, friends and neighbours have slept with dozens of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:54 PM
2

That’s normal. But when they say they don’t know men who struggle, it sounds like each of their fathers, brothers, cousins, colleagues, classmates, friends and neighbours have slept with dozens of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:54 PM
9

Would you laugh if something was cut off of a female cheater?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:43 PM
–

Guess what is more probable: 1) Every man that a woman from ppd knows personally is a gigachad slayer and never had problems with attracting women. 2) Women of ppd don’t know much about dating experiences of men they know.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:33 PM
1

Offtopic, but houellebeck is a very “male” author. Strongly recommended to anyone who wants to understand men better.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:37 PM
10

Why don’t people do X? Maybe it doesn’t help?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:34 PM
7

I understand that there is a problem in communication between NTs and autists. The most interesting question though is what subjective feeling is evoked in NTs by autists. I struggle to understand what the problem is for NTs, because most autistic people I met are quite interesting. They talk about their interests which may be very unusual and are generally very good hearted people. Can’t see why people may dislike them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 12:43 PM
3

My two cents. First, the major problem for men is getting some interest from a woman. Most men fail at the initial stage before they can demonstrate any parental qualities. Second, depends on the age. If women were really interested mainly in father qualities, a quiet kid who is going to become an accountant would be the most popular guy in high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:58 AM
28

Here we go again. It’s so similar to the take “why are you arguing online, women won’t have sex with you because of it”. Why do people discuss things? People like to think about certain things and talk about them with others. How do you even come up with this idea? Do you think people talk about things to convince others to give them something? Do you suppose that a person who’s frustrated with something is a one dimensional creature who’s worried only about getting that thing? If I were you I’d…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 02:47 AM
–

Ty ty
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 01:32 PM
–

Ouch. Do you have any sources online or did you hear that advice from your friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 12:03 PM
–

Hm, never heard lesbians’ advice. What do they tell?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 10:53 AM
3

Meh, i wonder if you have ever tried to understand men’s perspective. Attracting a woman in this context means literally attracting, getting some interest from her. It is the problem most men have. As for LMS, yep it works. Although, the amount of effort to achieve attractive levels is quite high.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 10:49 AM
1

Say “I’m kinda retarded”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 07:56 PM
–

It’s fine, it means less immediate “no”. You’re already ahead.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 05:20 PM
–

Yes, if you follow the two fundamental rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:57 PM
–

From time to time I see an insightful idea on this sub. I have never thought about problems of inexperienced people from that point of view. I supposed, people don’t like inexperienced people because of status. But it makes sense you’d be cautious of marrying someone who has a teenager perception of relationships if you’re, say, 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:56 PM
–

Good observation, to the golden hall of ppd comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:51 PM
–

Dude, just write “I just like to punch down”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:48 PM
–

Legitimately dude, you live in some kind of a parallel universe to me. Just to explain to you why I have that impression: if someone complains about something, I try to understand their situation and offer some insight/new information/practical help. Sometimes I conclude their problems are not problems. So, you are here on the moral high horse calling people losers, entitled, assuming some dirty motivations on their side. “Whiners bad”. I can’t really relate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:12 PM
2

I can understand how they have an influence on the image. But since school I’ve been surrounded with men whose dating life is nothing to write home about. I just don’t understand how opinions of some clearly unwell guys online may have more influence that experiences of men you see in daily life, like friends colleagues family and classmates.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:00 PM
–

Started writing a response to this, but then stopped. You double down on what op describes, and basically stating “you complain, you bad”. I wonder if people like you are open to any arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 12:49 PM
1

Normal meant “not a freak”. There’s of course something blocking those guys from finding someone interested. BTW, I believe it’s the ability to behave attractively for the opposite sex. It seems to me it’s a talent separate from other skills. Otherwise, many of those guys may be pretty well adjusted. But many women and some men tend to imagine a guy is an aberration if he has no experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 02:37 AM
3

I think I could write an article about it, but to put it shortly, it seems like people don’t see guys around them them or don’t know anything about their friends and relatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:48 AM
11

Listened to an interview with a guy who has a difficulty finding a gf. Comments were like, oh he looks like a normal guy and no incel. Surprise, normal guys can have difficulties with attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:22 AM
3

I noticed women often interpret men’s behaviour in some kind of a weird way. I mean, if I introspect, I see nothing near the motivations and feelings women ascribe to men. For example, I see men are often described as motivated by “masculine points”. Like, men want many sexual partners because they want to match the masculine stereotype and feel “more of a man”. I have never been concerned with some kind of whether I match some abstract “masculinity”. Another example is about men feeling nervous…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 01:17 AM
–

Don’t you think you can compare problems of people who are in similar circumstances? Say, I’m a student in school, and my biggest problem is that I got an A- once. My classmate’s problem is that he gets robbed by bullies every second day. Can I say that his problems with school are worse than mine?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 02:38 AM
–

I don’t think you believe that yourself. Problems are pretty much comparable, depending on circumstances. Like would you say that a rich person selecting between a Ferrari and Lamborghini has a problem if he subjectively considers it the problem of his life? Or would you consider that I have a problem because I have a difficulty to select between Burger King and McDonalds?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 02:27 AM
–

Depends on how you want to see that. I think, other problems are so insignificant compared to having no options that they can barely count as problems. No, relationship and dating problems are two different sets.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 01:49 AM
–

What are her problems? Is there anything comparable to not being in the game?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 01:24 AM
–

A woman with average looks can’t have problems in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 01:05 AM
1

It will be interesting to see how it play out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:21 PM
3

Women have all the choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:20 PM
1

You point was that men put less effort into a long term relationships than initially. It seems it’s wrong. Now you say there are some “shoulds” a man should learn in order to not be labeled as lazy. Now, your point seems to be that men put less effort into relationships comparatively to women. Do women really put in more effort as relationships progresses? What effort do they put into satisfying men’s needs and wants that is not matched by men’s effort?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:29 PM
2

Yep, “if a man has needs, feelings or difficulties, he’s broken” in short.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:20 PM
0

So, wouldn’t you like a guide on how to talk in-person if one existed?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:18 PM
4

Rarely, usually I read about things that interest me and take my decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 03:17 PM
4

Don’t you think a little guide on how to talk to women would be handy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:31 AM
4

This explanation about observing successful guys has an interesting part. Whom did other successful guys observe? Other successful guys? Then who’s the first successful guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:30 AM
2

Hm, how being honest results into not needing a guide? I just can’t see the “mechanic” connection. Say, I’m changing positions of power outlets at home. How being honest would help me with skills required for it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:24 AM
4

People for whom replication of others’ actions doesn’t work, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:21 AM
5

That led me to inventing some kind of my own theories before I read rp.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:10 AM
4

The easy way I’d say .
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 09:08 AM
–

Dudes who have active and interesting dating life match those sky high standards. An average guy can get some attention from time to time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:51 AM
2

It’s not personal, it’s because your complaint about children weakly supports your claim that men put less effort into the relationship as it progresses. Do you really think your guy does less in total for you than he did initially? In my experience it’s not that true. As an illustration, when I met my ex, I could have a weekend sex binge with her after a coffee date and a talk. She left me after we moved in when I started my first serious job and spent a lot of time to make our place better. Be…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:25 PM
7

Seems like you have a problem with relationships between your guy and children and extrapolate it to “men don’t try in long term relationships”. It is very vaguely connected to your point your point that men put less effort compared to initial stages. Simply not true. When I was in the initial stage with my ex, we could have a coffee and then spend a weekend in one room enjoying each other. As relationships progressed and I did much more than coffee dates, one-room weekends stopped as well as ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 03:07 AM
4

The opposite is true as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 02:45 AM
1

Sorry, thought it was a discussion flair.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:22 AM
2

Depends on how you conceptualize it. So, your view is that women acted as basically mothers to their husbands, and solved all their problems, but now they’re free and (over-)enjoy new freedoms. Correct? You can also say that women were in a role of children taken care of by their husbands. I don’t say it was fair or voluntary, but you can conceptualize it that way. Following that logic, they got their freedoms, but continue to look for a parent figure. For example, in the past they earned “pocke…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:19 AM
2

This is how partnership works. One person helps if another needs help with achieving goals or faces a problem. If one person helps another, but must deal with his own problems, it doesn’t sound like a partnership. Sounds like a parent-child relationships though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 09:11 PM
8

Yep, and outside of that: - woman disappointed -> support her emotionally - man disappointed -> she’s not a therapist woman lost job -> man covers expenses man lost job -> gtfo woman depressed -> support her man depressed -> go get fixed or gtfo woman wants more sex -> man, go get checked and get fixed men wants more sex -> man, go get fixed and don’t annoy her
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:44 PM
4

Probably, idk. In soviet russia cars drive you. I know it’s opposite of common stereotype. But in my experience, guys do chores, spend time with children. A psychologist who has a clinical practice tells the same. I don’t know a single couple where the husband / bf comes home and lays on his sofa.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 07:40 PM
9

Idk man, sometimes I think women view men as supermen. Like, they think men have no feelings despite lust, can’t feel pain, can fight three robbers at once, walk into a company and get the ceo position, walk into a university and get a phd next week. Also, train two minutes a day and look shredded.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:58 PM
3

I ensure you, if women had no additional requirements, and you could just ask like you can ask what time it is or for a spare cigarette, men would do that. But if you ask here, a man shouldn’t mention even the appearance of a woman when he approaches. Women don’t like if you approach bluntly, so men who are not naturally gifted in that ritual, go to pua and red pill to find out how they should behave to suggest sex in a way women like.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:55 PM
1

Are you on your way already?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:51 PM
1

Hey, so are you gonna eat your potato or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:12 PM
0

I think, the trope about lazy husbands and overworked wives is quite outdated. Well, may be it is true in remote areas of Iowa or whatever your most backward state is. I listen to dr psych mom - she’s a female family psychologist. She has in her practice it’s very rare that men do nothing at home. There are even men who do everything at home. Now the main part of my response. In my experience, women see support from their men as something natural. When a man needs support, women say he wants his…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 05:11 PM
11

I noticed many women talk about feeling like a mother when the man cannot match father-like expectations. When a man supports a woman in achieving her goals or dealing with her problems, it’s natural. But often when men need support from their partners, women say that they feel like his mother. An illustration for you. A woman falls ill, her partner makes an appointment for her with a doctor. A man falls ill - “you healthy yet? Talk to me when you healthy”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:45 PM
4

I didn’t really expect that kind of response from the author of the post. You can conclude your own post with that statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:14 PM
17

Nah, men are unhappy because currently dating and a large part of relationships are concentrated on making the woman happy. At the same time women are not that concerned about needs and wants of their partners or potential partners. I guess men were sold the idea of partnership and are disappointed it’s not what they are expected to do. I think an ideal partner for women is someone who takes care of their both lives in general, and also takes half of some tasks. It’s something more of a father r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:11 PM
–

On point. Modern dating and a big part of relationships is about the man trying to make the woman happy. While women think little about men’s needs. I get why some men feel the game difficulty is too high. What seems interesting to me is the deafness to men’s dissatisfactions. It’s like “yeah, so what?” When I read about common women’s dissatisfactions in relationships, I make a mental note and check whether I unknowingly do or don’t do something that may make my partner or potential partner unh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:57 PM
1

Could you specify how do you imagine it practically? Imagine, I’m a guy who’d like to have a hookup. Do I approach you and say “Hey, I thought it would be nice if we have sex in a hotel room nearby. What do you think about it?” Well, it would be nice if it was acceptable and worked. But casual sex doesn’t happen like that. The whole point behind pua and rp is that you learn to do what women like before casual sex. The whole date experience before a ONS is a requirement from women. I’m interested…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:30 PM
1

Whatever you prefer
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:15 AM
1

Should’ve had one potato
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 03:11 AM
1

Potato
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:57 AM
1

Sounds depressive too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:56 AM
1

Then it seems you’re demisexual. Most women I talked to about dating fall in love over time sometimes, but aren’t against having a hookup or a fling from time to time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:02 AM
1

In the point of view I proposed, a mid man gets some interest randomly, and women don’t respond positively to his attention. What changes if he does or doesn’t feel okay about his situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 02:00 AM
1

I think it’s valid choice because making the first step or not doesn’t change much for a significant share of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:39 AM
1

As I see it, there is a difference between men and women in this regard. Men would divide women into highly rated, not as highly rated, and no way. Women it seems divide men into may be and “literally don’t see him”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:36 AM
1

It doesn’t matter how I feel about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:33 AM
1

Don’t you think you’d be open to go on a date with an attractive guy if he approached you as compared to unattractive guy? In a situation where you are strangers / almost strangers (like friend of a friend you saw a couple of times)?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:32 AM
1

Don’t you think best strategy for unnoticeable dorks is to stop chasing women and hope that one day a woman would be into them?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:29 AM
1

4/10 I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 01:27 AM
1

Yeah, but that seems inefficient and embarrassing for everyone. Also uncomfortable for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:56 AM
1

Best psychology/pop-psychology podcasts or YouTube channels? Especially if they are about dating/relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:49 AM
3

Had a couple of thoughts about dating today. I heard many times from women irl, online, and different articles/blogs that women fall in love over time. Many times I heard something like “I didn’t even notice my bf/husband at first” or “I wouldn’t swipe right on him immediately” or “I thought he’s a dork initially”. So, I thought that’s probably how most average men get into relationships. They kinda live their life until a woman likes them. Men whom women notice initially have can approach women…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:45 AM
2

I dived into neurodiversity for a while. I had a couple of friends with those type of problem. As I understand it, there are many more forms of neurodiversity we haven’t identified yet. One friend got diagnosed as both adhd and autism because of the same symptoms. I think, it’s possible he has a third type of problem, but psychiatrists have a hammer and view everything as a nail.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:34 AM
1

Go get diagnosed
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 12:30 AM
1

Solid suggestions. I guess a crowd of internet randos would design better studies than university psychologists. Their papers are often like “we asked 30 students if they like weed”. As for social interactions where someone attempted to pick you up, I’d add a category of “…when you wanted to be picked up”.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 05:10 PM
2

Not all, but it’s not such an extremely rare experience. You all are like women go to church and wait to be proposed.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 04:42 PM
2

Sorry, but I don’t see where the two lines of your story cross. It seems like you made you post kind of a question to men. I don’t really understand what response you’d expect. For example, my life primarily consists of going to work, involving in hobbies, dealing with daily stuff like laundry, and meeting friends from time to time. I had periods of romantic loneliness in my life. I’m not a homeless guy who talks to dogs, I don’t scream at ladies about poo. I honestly can’t tell what I could say…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 03:04 PM
3

That would be an interesting idea of accessing social well being.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 02:33 PM
5

The thing you describe is a part of red pill, at least for me. That’s how I see 80/20. 80% of men can find relationships by luck. If he spends enough time in a group with women, a woman may develop feelings towards him. The sweet things like hookups, flings, approaches out of the blue are reserved for attractive guys. It’s interesting I noticed how a good share of single women I know look for love and committed relationships, but would tell how they pick up tall guys in the clubs or had a threes…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 11:31 AM
–

Or they actually evaluate their chances fairly. I mean, if you’re unattractive to most women, an easy shortcut is to suppose you’re unattractive to all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 12:25 PM
–

I think, our dialogue is a good example of what I’m talking about. You mentioned several “shoulds” of a guy’s behavior on a date. A young guy typically has little idea of those “shoulds”. It’s also difficult to find the right degree. I mean all these recommendations like “show interest but not right away” or “we should have attraction and good conversations”. That’s what I was talking about when I said “guys need to behave like women like, but they typically don’t know what women like”. The reas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 11:30 AM
2

What kinds?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:40 AM
–

It’s time to celebrate, it’s one of few sensible dialogues I had in this place. I can relate to the things you describe, and can explain why they happen. If you’re interested of course. For example, you told that they were treating you like a separate species and that they treated you like a cousin. Don’t you see it contradictory? It is simply because those guys dutifully performed recommendation to “treat women like a person and don’t objectify her”. I’d agree that molding yourself to the expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 04:24 AM
1

You're responding to another question.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 03:35 AM
2

You could send a random set of letters with the same effect. I did not ask you to make my love life easier. LoLolOL Why do you all even come to this place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 03:34 AM
3

Chat, it's time to discuss the most repeated takes on this sub. Today, we'll discuss the take "normal men know how to interact with women in sexual/romantic sense (approaching, courting, hitting on, etc, etc." What do you think about that take? Fair/unfair? Why do you think so? What confirms/refutes that take in your experience? My thoughts: It is a real problem for a young guy to start dating. Like, most guys I know experienced trouble with it when they were young, so I don't believe that most …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:49 AM
1

I mainly use this sub as kind of a mirror. I'd like to develop some ideas about dating, but it isn't easy to start on my own. I see a post or two here, and the thought process starts. I noticed it happens less frequently, and I'll leave this place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:36 AM
–

Can we get a golden hall of comments? I'd place your comment right there. It's refreshing to hear from a woman that the problem is that many guys have no idea what they are doing. The thing is, most men are not naturally talented at talking to women. Those who are not talented have no place to learn about it. Could you specify why you think the problem is that these men are detached from their sexuality? From my point of view, the problem of a young guy is that he is expected to competently and …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:33 AM
5

You sound like you think that the only time a man successfully approaches is when he knows about the woman's hobbies, profession, relationship status, politics, and the rest you listed. Like an approach in a nightclub or a holiday fling at a resort never happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:10 AM
4

Catch-22: You approach - bohoo, you're entitled You don't approach - bohoo, women aren't going to fall into your lap
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 02:06 AM
1

Just life. Didn't get to the industry that pays a lot, some emergencies here and there, so I wasn’t able to build that bank of extra money for the surgeries. As time passed, it became too late.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:33 PM
3

In short, men are different from women and find themselves in different circumstances, so their behavior is different. Men like many women, women like few men. A man simply swiping right on the women he likes may seem to you as indiscriminate swiping on everyone. When you swipe on someone or approach them, you both choose and are chosen. I’d say men are more concerned with the being chosen side of that equation simply because women are picky. If you’re being chosen, it makes sense to advertise y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 01:31 PM
–

But isn’t it that difficult to transfer your feelings from one situation to another? I mean it may be difficult to imagine that someone has problems with dating, but most likely every person had persistent problems with something.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:25 PM
–

I’ve done it am doing some of those things. On the second thought, all of them. I’m not sure why I, but I can empathise with those men. May be, I put lots of effort and thinking into changing my life, so I see how difficult it may be. May be, I see people outside of my bubble more and understand the that things considered “great” by some are not that great in comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:03 PM
3

/thread
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:58 PM
–

If I’m not mistaken 3-4 gap is quite normal, so nothing would change that much. I remember, when I was 16, many girls from my class had boyfriends who were 17 or 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:54 PM
–

Well, I’ve done or am doing most of these things, but somehow I’m able to empathise with those men. May be it took me quite a huge effort to change my life, so I understand how difficult it may be.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:52 PM
–

Sometimes it sounds enticingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:49 PM
–

What sound so bad about it? Being 40% older in childhood is a big advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:46 PM
–

Mmm, to be honest, that psychological talk doesn’t make much sense to me as a man. I’m not that concerned about my identity and purpose. You know, people often say that men want a lot of sexual partners because it increases their self-evaluation as a man. Speaking of my own experience, I don’t feel any “manly men” points from having lots of sexual partners. I just reached puberty and started wanting many sexual partners. Because it’s fun, I don’t keep records of my masculine tokens. You’re corre…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:44 PM
–

Mhm, you read the mind of everyone else. When I studied in the uni, there was so much stuff “for women” that I had a thought from time to time that they seemingly wanted no men in that sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:32 PM
–

I think there is some truth to this.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:28 PM
–

So? Things he says seem quite reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:27 PM
–

A couple of thoughts. I’d say that talking to women in a romantic/sexual setting is a separate social skill that’s not that much connected to social skills in general. Then, you have to make the first step as a man, so no surprise men are preoccupied with figuring out what women want. Finally, women are picky, so it’s better to know more so that you don’t fuck up the chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:24 PM
1

I wanted to have surgeries on my face but life circumstances happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:16 PM
–

Listened to a podcast with a guy who studies issues of boys and men. More specifically, he leads a think tank on the issue. They discussed the issue of men that check out of life. It reminded me of one idea I heard about messaging about harassment and meetoo movement. The idea was that while pushing this talk, society had a wrong mental image of young men. The image of a young man was that he was pushy and annoying with his interest in women. In reality, young men were quite prosocial, and didn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:13 PM
1

Speaking of adult business, there is of course a degree of desire for the hotter. But there is also an element of desperation. Imagine a woman paying to see some naked guys. She must have really nothing going on in her personal life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:38 PM
7

I’m not that sad. I think what makes unattractive men unhappy is the constant messaging that a “normal” man can have a lot of interest from women. They get this messaging from women “you just need to treat women like people”, from women they know “you’re a great guy, I wonder why you’re single”, and from men “just lift bro, then you’ll have a lot of women”. It makes unattractive men think they are some type of abominations. If you’re an unsuccessful guy, you have to dig a lot in what your proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:53 PM
1

Usually personality is a part of attraction to crushes. It seems like you want to describe any unreciprocated feeling from a man as negative and incorrect. So you don’t really see the point of my comment. You see it like “an evil ugly man wants to get into the pants of a woman and expecting her to overlook his ugliness”. I am talking about a different thing that you probably don’t notice. Many men grow up hearing that women want good men, that they want to be treated as people, that women want m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:42 PM
51

How about everyone agrees women’s standards are high and that’s it? That already would be a change. Some unattractive guys would calmly quit dating because it would be well known that women don’t like a significant share of men. The “all good men are gone” talk would turn into “I don’t like the majority of men”. Guys would grow up understanding that being undesirable is a possibility, so they won’t be like “everyone told me women want good men, but my crush slept with that asshole”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 11:51 PM
34

Dude that’s a weird take.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 11:01 PM
1

I think, social status is being valued in your group or environment. In school it’s being good in sports and being generally popular. In uni, the same plus organising parties or leading some sort of a club. In friends group, being the leader of that group. At work, being a boss or a good specialist. They discussed the phenomenon of women falling in love over time. There are many stories like “I didn’t notice my husband or bf initially, but then we spent three months in a team/department/class an…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 02:12 PM
3

I think everyone is familiar with a dialogue that often happens here about creepiness. Women would say that creepy guys just break social conventions and don’t respect boundaries. Men would say that an unattractive guy hitting on a woman is creepy. I listened to a podcast about flirting that helped me to explain this contradiction. The podcasters said that in order to start flirting, you have to have some social status first. So, attractive guys have that social status because of looks so they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:41 PM
5

I listened to a podcast about flirting recently. They said that to start flirting you have to have some social status. It explains this dichotomy when women say that creepy means only breaking social rules, while men say that creepy means that an unattractive guy hits on a woman. They said that a model looking guy can start flirting with explicit phrases, but uglier men break social conventions by doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 01:35 PM
3

I’d add that women have more agency in general, not only on apps. My circle is now married couples mainly. When I studied in uni and was beginning my career in a large city, the difference between men and women was quite noticeable. Women generally had hookups or holiday flings, some had group sex. An experience of a typical guy was having several first dates a year. At the same time, there always were 2-3 guys who had no problem bringing a girl home from a bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 03:53 PM
2

I cannot say for sure, because I’d need to see tinder data. But I’m inclined to believe it’s a common experience for guys because my experiences combine well with some statistics. I see personally that guys generally don’t have much luck on apps. Also, almost every environment I’ve been in (like school or job) has two-three guys that sleep around, and the majority of the guys go on a date from time to time. Then there is this graph from the book dataclysm. https://images.app.goo.gl/iNrzR5GYu5dJR…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 02:29 PM
15

I never used apps myself, they weren’t popular when I actively tried to date. What I hear from younger guys and see on Reddit is that guys typically get no matches. Imagine you go on tinder and blindly swipe right 100 profiles, then you get like 1 match a week. What would think would happen if you start to be selective and swipe right 2 profiles? You’d go from practically no matches to literally no matches. Also, dating apps really illustrate what would happen in real life if there was less unce…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 01:17 PM
1

I’m not but I when I was young I had troubles with attracting girls. I thought that dating game was too difficult or that I was too stupid to comprehend it. I think it was more of former because most guys found it difficult too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 06:14 PM
5

I think it’s a bit deeper than that. There are people who have troubles understanding the view of other people. But this specific thing seems very specific. In general women are able to empathise with men on many different topics. Why doesn’t it work in this specific case? Is it just biologically wired? Is it because men are perceived as horny sex that annoys women? Is it because women generally believe that men have a lot of agency over their attractiveness?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 01:28 AM
7

A psychologist who studies relationships told that female therapists report that they have troubles empathising with guys who are unsuccessful in dating. I thought, is there really some kind of a psychological barrier in women that prevents them from understanding what a man feels when he fails in dating? Like, is it real that women can’t see why an unsuccessful guy may be unhappy? I noticed that on ppd too and other dating subs. Do women really think that an unsuccessful guy would be like, “not…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 01:13 AM
1

I guess all else being equal the experienced guy has more chances. It’s not like men have their body counts written on their foreheads.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 03:30 PM
3

It’s more of a rhetorical question. So turns out women in practice women like experienced men more.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 03:29 PM
2

Been listening to an evolutionary psychologist’s podcast. He spoke about manosphere and how it often misrepresents or contradicts findings of psychologists. As an example, he took the debate on chastity. He said that the manosphere overestimates men’s preference for low body counts and women’s preference for high body counts. In his opinion, men and women aren’t that different (usual scientific talk about overlapping curves), and people prefer some experience in a potential partner, men don’t se…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 02:27 PM
3

Here’s my masterfully crafted theory. To get into a relationship you need two skills: of presenting yourself and of actually being a good partner. For women presenting themselves finishes up at home when they choose clothes and make up. Presenting for men is more complicated because it is about how he talks to and behaves around women. If your presentation is done by default, you just don’t see how anyone can have a problem with it. They don’t see it’s a fucking skill, because they see “normal” …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 01:33 PM
3

I think you confuse talking to women and talking to women. Most men are able to literally talk to women as coworkers, classmates and so on. At the same time most men have a trouble talking to women as a romantic or sexual interest. I noticed a weird distinction women have on ppd between an approach and a talk. Many women seem to think that an approach is talking to a stranger on the street while approach at a bar or uni is some kind of a talk to a non-stranger. Well, idk how women view the world…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:43 AM
1

It would be nice to figure it out. I guess that’s what rp, pua, and so on are about.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 11:43 PM
2

I noticed women often want a man to approach only if he’s “really” interested in her. At the same time they expect a behavior of a player who approaches 10 women a day. Contradiction on contradiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 01:10 PM
5

Couple of thoughts on that. That damn “it” factor. Despite all the rp and other theories, we still cannot define it better than “it”. Then, it would be natural to assume that men click better with men and women click with women. What may seem to her as a boring men, may be an interesting guy for other guys. Idk, maybe the dude seems boring to her but another dude had a great conversation about different home depots in the area. I recently listened to a dating podcast by a female dating coach for…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 01:04 PM
1

I think my job influenced me in this regard. If you don’t have information -> dig for information.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 09:40 PM
1

I always struggled to understand why confidence is one of the most desired qualities. I find that confident people often overestimate their abilities, make more mistakes and it’s difficult to persuade them if your view is correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 08:41 PM
1

Hm, interesting. May be it depends on the crowd you’re in.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 04:50 PM
1

I am not sure but I’d suppose not much has changed you were young. I think, if you asked your co workers about their youth they wouldn’t say they bathed in female attention. I’m a bit over thirty, but I’m lurking and talking here because I still have some unresolved questions from my youth. Things people discuss here existed when I was young, so I don’t think they are some recent changes. I think, people often forget how it was when they age. So if you’re 40, you think that people were always co…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 02:44 PM
2

I tend to think women don’t really see what’s going on in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 01:40 PM
5

Yep, that’s why most women on ppd assume guys who have troubles with women are abominations. I’m often surprised that women are blind to what really happens in dating. Still can’t figure out how some men do bullshit like this and are popular while seemingly normal guys have troubles.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 01:39 PM
2

Yep, I know quite a number of guys who have been in relationships since school or uni. I guess in general many men are just lucky to meet a girl who likes them and haven’t really tried to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 01:35 PM
5

Yep, men usually don’t talk about it. As for demographics, I wouldn’t say it’s so different really. Most men I know have or had problems with dating. Yeah, they find partners and marry, but in general dating for them isn’t that good of an experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 01:33 PM
6

Speaking of men that a woman personally knows, I suppose most of the time they have no idea about dating life of a man. When I tell women I know that I had problems with attracting women, they are like “but you’re a normal guy, you clearly had no problems”. It seems women often assume that if a guy is “normal”, he has everything good with women. I saw a post here from trueoffmychest. The post was from a woman whose younger brother committed sudoku because he couldn’t get attention from women. Sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:22 PM
10

Listen to a podcast that was titled “dating is hard for him too”. Seems like it’s a surprise for women that dating is challenging for men. Also, I heard that dating must be easy for men from women IRL. Do women in general think dating is easier for men? Do women you know think so? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 11:52 AM
2

I highly doubt he’s secretly caring and supportive person. No but she could find someone who doesn’t treat her like trash, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 09:23 PM
1

From time to time I see discussions about those topics. I probably had 3-4 conversations on whether it’s ok for women to approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:56 PM
2

Just listened to a podcast between two female dating coaches (one coaches men, another coaches women). Heard many takes from them that somehow are controversial here. Like, dating is easier for women, men are conscios of making women uncomfortable with approaching, women can approach with no problem and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:30 PM
3

Mostly, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:18 PM
4

Okay, let me give you an example. She wrote that men feel entitled because they see sex as a reward for good behavior. I wonder why women select guys of questionable character too. Let’s see how much entitlement there is in my thoughts. So, women in general say they like kind, respectful, and supportive guys (or something along these lines). Then you see many examples that contradict this narrative. Just to give you an example, otherwise you’d respond that I see any guy with a girlfriend as an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 07:23 PM
-1

Hm, I think you come with a prejudice of seeing the unpopular males as some kind of monsters and assume the worst possible explanations for things they write. With that approach anything may be perceived as some kind of evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 04:02 PM
1

Good take. I believe though that communities were left by its leaders because of neoliberal ideology. I mean, when an owner of a factory moved it to china, he was guided by neoliberal idea that “everyone is a self serving individual, so there’s nothing bad that I make decisions that serve me”. It’s hard for the people of the town where the factory was located to sustain community without the factory. However community-oriented people are, they aren’t going to sustain the community. Speaking of r…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 12:14 PM
4

Yeah, that sounds strange. But guys have trouble understanding why women push so hard against takes that are not mainstream “women like good kind respectful men”. That’s how that take that “women don’t want men to become attractive” appeared. It would be nice if women figured out an explanation why they object to RP takes, while agreeing to them in general. Just an example for you: Man: - 80/20 rule, women like a minority of men Woman: - that’s a disgusting and false take. Women like kind respec…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 11:57 AM
3

Yep, noticed this thing too. I remember I discussed with a woman that looks are more important for men and that women only like a small number of very attractive men. I asked told her that it is visible as early as in school. I remember that there were two guys whom every girl liked in our class. Others were zeros to them. So, that woman said they had one such guy in their class. I don’t really understand why women push against something RP while basically agreeing if they take time to listen to…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 11:49 AM
1

Interesting that it seemingly is hard for her to relate to the reason he decided to end his life. I think men kind of understand him. Women have troubles understanding why no success with women may be so depressive for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 11:33 AM
3

Failures with women can definitely cause suicidal thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 11:30 AM
2

I heard somewhere that the leading causes of male suicide are problems with money and problems with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 10:56 AM
1

Also, it’s quite difficult as a man to go from “don’t show interest, don’t show interest” to suddenly “show interest” when a woman likes you. Women are picky, so it’s quite rare for an ordinary guy that a woman is interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:41 PM
1

It heavily depends on the industry and the position. I read an article about men who don’t want to transition from blue collar to office work. The reason is they consider blue collar jobs as “honest” work while in the office you have to be manipulative, cover your ass, misrepresent things and so on. I think women are on average better at this type of “frenemy” relationships. I mean, on a construction site you may tell someone to fuck off, but in office it is “Dear Sir, just a kind reminder…” Als…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:22 PM
1

Dead birds.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:11 PM
1

Agreed, and in my experience, most men are like that. I suppose what hurts these men is the common belief that “normal” men naturally have an ability to “normally” express their interest in a woman. So if a man has troubles with it, he either doesn’t want to (so he’s morally flawed) or cannot (so he’s socially underdeveloped). I think it would help if people understood that men have to do some work in the beginning, that women have expectations, that it’s not obvious for many men, and that men m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 02:11 PM
1

I game when I’m extremely tired or get a flu.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 11:02 PM
–

Women are strongly attracted to their partner in the honeymoon stage. Many partnered guys I know are not greatly satisfied with their sex frequency. It’s a discouraging situation, because their input into relationships increases over time. Somehow people don’t like to admit women have desire for novelty that may be stronger than that of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/24 11:28 AM
9

It’s interesting how women’s interest in relationships-oriented guys contradicts their interest in guys who are good with women. IMO, those two are difficult to combine. If you’re a relationship oriented guy, you won’t have the skills of a player because you don’t hit on many girls and don’t have opportunities to develop your skills. Also, I can’t fully comprehend the complain about entitled men who feel owed sex. Aren’t men who actually approach women more entitled than those who write somethin…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 12:13 AM
–

Doesn’t it it work if you assume there was no relationships before the guy suggests it? Like, they were casually seeing each other. Yeah, there is no perfect analogy because there is nothing that women want from men, but struggle to get.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 03:41 PM
–

In a similar manner, men aren’t interested in women with promiscuous past.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 02:45 PM
–

Yep, it’s difficult to gender swap. Probably, the best analogy I heard is that a guy was very committed to his previous partners, but he says you’re so special he’ll have an open (for him) relationships with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 02:32 PM
2

I guess women have a weak understanding of expectations they put on men. There is nothing to learn in their eyes. “Just approach girls you like” I was told once.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:25 PM
2

Depends on the woman. So look really good with short hair. You know, it’s like beards. Some men look better with them, some are better shaved.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:22 PM
8

So weird, isn’t it? Imagine men were like “l like fit women but they all go to gyms to be fitter, eew”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:20 PM
0

If I ask you what personality women like, then I am unsure if I “naturally” learned the right thing or question if the common opinion of that is not correct. When you say “I date men with good personality” and good means “good for dating”, you say “I date men with a personality that is good for dating”. In this case the informative answer is “I dunno”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:10 PM
1

Btw, yes. Good mean “I feel good around that person”. So, “I like good personality” means “I like the personality I like”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:01 PM
1

Hm, makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 11:46 AM
1

Nah. Good is reliable, empathetic, ready to help, supportive. Isn’t that kind of thing when you hear about “good person”? Like, saying funny jokes doesn’t relate to “good” whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:18 AM
-2

Yeah, yeah. 20 in this context means 40. Actually interesting why women are indirect about what they like in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:14 AM
2

You don’t really try to see it from the male pov, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:09 AM
2

I guess the problem in this debate is the term “good personality”. Good means good. If you’re talking about charismatic or fun or magnetic or dominant personality, use that word and not “good”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 09:49 AM
3

My two cents on the need debate. There are needs and needs. Physical needs are necessary for survival. Unmet psychological needs make you unhappy. Can you survive with no interaction with other people? Yes, but it you’ll most likely feel unhappy. You can survive without respect or with a meaningless job, but it would make you unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 09:46 AM
17

I heard that the leading causes of men unaliving themselves are problems with money and problems with women. There is an important distinction between men and women. Women have sex when they want to. So no surprise they don’t consider it something important. Like I don’t consider it an important problem to be able to buy a cup of coffee. A man has to be “worthy” to have sex. If you’re not getting any, it is an indication that you’re not worthy. You may not have enough money, or say wrong things,…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 08:53 AM
4

Right, that’s what they usually say. But they don’t give an explanation of how exactly this supposedly works. Agreed. Sometimes I wonder if common ideas about dating are upside down. It seems to me that women are more concerned about partners appearance and have higher demands and are more picky in looks. At the same time it seems like for men almost any type of women works, and their decision to become a couple depends more on the personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 06:15 PM
4

I struggle to get what “really likes is” and how it is demonstrated by the man approaching. Something doesn’t just click with that explanation. Are men that approach “really interested”? Are men that don’t approach “unreality interested”? Decision to approach doesn’t only (or even mainly?) depend on how strongly the guy likes the girl.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 05:17 PM
16

Okay. Women like a little proportion of men. Data on right swipes on old support this, and many women say they consider very few men attractive. Men are more open and consider a large proportion of women attractive (like 30-70%). It makes sense for women to approach, because men would get less rejections and women would get less unwanted attention. Women want no unwanted attention and men to approach, which is contradictory. Have a look at this analogy. Imagine that instead of you going to a sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 03:10 PM
1

Huh, sometimes similar articles about being a good bf/husband evoke the same feelings in me. Mixed feelings about this article. Some points aren’t that bad like not bitching or not keeping the score. Some women just create big scenes out of small things. Some points are weird like having sex right after giving birth. As for the lack of sex, not hearing complaints doesn’t mean men don’t experience problems with it. You need to have very trusting relationships with a guy to hear him admitting diss…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 01:33 AM
1

Yes, I've seen many cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:46 AM
2

¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:11 AM
4

Game or luck. Some men seem to know how to say all the right things at the right time. Sometimes people just get lucky. Even if you have very low skills of talking to women, your personality clicks with the woman’s and relationships happen for apparently no reason. That’s how all my relationships happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 10:51 AM
2

A couple of disjointed thoughts about it. Of course men would like treatment chad gets. You phrased it as “men imagine chad gets”. I cannot agree with you that men imagine it. Just some stories from my experience. My classmate from uni picked up two girls on the street while we were going to a bar. Lucky guy btw, his roommates told me he was bringing a new girl home once a week / two weeks. One of guys at my friend’s job was famous for sleeping with all the female interns. A girl I know went to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:12 AM
2

I guess all of the points from your list play some role. Status plays a big role. I suppose there are dudes who look like ed Sheeran, but they’re less popular. If you’re more focused on behavioral characteristics, game is the most important I think. I suppose successful guys understand women better (not similar to listen to women), and somehow know what to say and when, and feel when it’s time to escalate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 07:42 PM
1

Is there a correct way to approach? There are many contradictory ideas about approaching that are practically mutually exclusive. I mean things like “don’t befriend a woman to hit on her later” but “don’t go on strangers”, or “of course she was bored because you showed no interest in her” but “don’t show interest from the beginning”. It seems like people usually thing that if the girl wasn’t interested, it was his fuck up. Then they decide what he did wrong in that specific case.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:15 PM
2

Hm, I guess because negative reinforcement and negative talk around it. If women react negatively to a guy’s approaches then he’ll associate his attraction to someone with negative consequences. But attraction doesn’t go anywhere, so he’ll start feeling he feels something that is disruptive and uncomfortable for others. Like, imagine people would be like “eeeew, what are you doing” every time you eat a chocolate. You’d start feeling wanting a chocolate is inappropriate. Then, there is negative t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 03:07 PM
1

Not only tinder
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:04 AM
1

Do you think most women do? People often rely on the idea that women look only for relationships and guys who “genuinely” interested in them. In my experience, it’s not a very accurate idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 01:07 AM
1

In large cities in the west? I guess everyone understands nothing about men is demonised in Saudi Arabia.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:57 AM
1

Pros and cons are obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:55 AM
5

It’s a good point that we don’t know the number of false accusations. Maybe there are many. I mean, the fear of a false accusation is subjectively similar to the fear of sexual assault. Even if it never happened to you personally, you hear a couple cases about your friend of a friend or a classmate, then you read some stories on the internet or in press, and then you become wary about it. Hm, it’s some general statement. Usually my social interactions are quite smooth. Raising an objection or re…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:53 AM
5

Women here say that approaching is the easiest thing to do. Men usually think it’s difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:35 AM
0

Generally, to find a good partner. While seeking, it would be nice to experience different sexual and romantic experiences. What do men want in a woman? sexually attractive: healthy weight and idk normal appearance and above (it’s difficult to specify, but I’d say 70-80% of women pass) sex drive personality: hard to specify, sometimes you just click tolerable mental health: no all-consuming problems supportive, able to talk through disagreements
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:28 AM
1

Thank you for paying attention to this. Most women would say it’s okay. I think, the normalization came from the idea of patriarchy. Professors of social sciences developed an idea that men have been running a conspiracy to oppress women and that modern society is organised in the same way. So, punching a man is no different from opposing an evil oppressor. They didn’t pay attention to some things like realities of life in the past (people literally believed god told them what to do) or history …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:19 AM
1

I never really understood that argument. Why can’t a man without “attraction” to you approach you? It’s not completely clear how the act of approaching demonstrates that a man “actually likes you” vs “wants only sex”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:32 PM
1

I never understood this argument. What do you mean by doesn’t like?like he’s not going to marry you? I mean, if a guy approaches you, it’s no guarantee he doesn’t only want sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:30 PM
5

I think it’s the most probable answer. She’s into the guy -> approaching is ok, she’s not -> don’t even look at me. I remember a poll of students was posted here and like 50% of women say it’s offensive if a man they don’t like approaches them. I guess it creates the problem with approaching. As a guy you know you shouldn’t approach if the woman doesn’t like you. But you never know in advance. At the same time, women are very picky, so you have to be an ideal guy to have somewhat good response r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:28 PM
0

Maybe where you live is the key in your post?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:22 PM
1

You know, women say this, and then you see they’re fine with complements from strangers without knowing their intentions. May be different women, idk, but it’s all so messy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 02:20 PM
4

Anxiety is the most probable answer. I’ve met very few young men who’d prefer doing something else instead of talking to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:59 PM
-1

Not so much purity culture as uncertainty and contradictory ideas around approaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:56 PM
1

Well, I can relate quite a lot to these ideas, although these feelings are not that pronounced in me. I can come up with a complex explanation of why it happens, but in short there is a lot of uncertainty and contradictory takes from women, so it’s quite difficult to figure out whether you should approach that girl and how to properly do it. The majority of guys I know have a problem with approaching. The only guys I knew who approached freely were a full package- model looks, money, tall, jacke…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 01:37 PM
5

Concern about false accusations is similar to fear of a sexual assault for women. Chances are low, while potential damage is very high. The main concern is about making the woman uncomfortable though. Men are people and the majority of us don’t want to make others uncomfortable. You know, talking to people in general or literally just talking to women about something is not usually a problem. Being hesitant to approach a woman with romantic interest is, on the other hand, a very common problem t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 12:59 PM
3

Neuroticism and and anxiety are related to ungrounded non-realistic worries. It’s similar to OCD - if a person washes his hands 12 times a day, it is not very normal. Approach anxiety is not really comparable, because, yeah, you may get negative consequences for approaching and the thing is constantly discussed here and there. If there were some, even slight, consequences for not washing hands 12 times a day and if it was discussed, we’d see more “normal” people washing their hands 12 times a da…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 11:31 AM
4

It works in theory. In fact, unattractive men do live by a different set of rules. When I was young I approached somewhat like 40ish times, and then stopped. I think we’d do some service to young men if we told to male teenagers “if you’re ugly don’t try”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 10:27 AM
1

Ah, I see. I meant having sex (not finding a partner) is not a rocket science. Money comes from rocket science or breaking your back building rockets for scientists. For men finding a partner is difficult. Money is difficult for everyone on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:25 PM
1

Wdym? For you personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:03 PM
3

I know one such woman. She’s good looking clever, with a pleasant personality. I cannot wrap my head around it. To me it seems women like her must get into relationships automatically.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:02 PM
5

I think I had about ten good deep conversations here. I mean, conversations in good faith. What kills the advice? condescending tone not really reading what the person wrote implicit assumptions (like ya all misogynists/ neckbeard from basement)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 10:59 PM
2

Not even remotely comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:45 PM
1

Write us from an international tribunal where your awful crime will be considered.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:41 PM
1

Posting the same under some reasonable posts would have an opposite effect I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:38 PM
2

Is replying basically “no you’re wrong” going to help the cause?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:23 PM
1

Number of people who respond to keywords only is too high.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:22 PM
5

You’re arguing with a scarecrow you built in your head. Statements your quoted are much more frequently used by people like you to portray a horrible neckbeard redpiller.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:34 PM
3

I’m all for a substantial discussion. If any other debatable topic was debated like that, it would be bland and repetitive. Like: should your country have capital punishment? A lot of horrible people deserve capital punishment. No, be normal. If horrible people get executed, they will not repeat offences. No, be normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:28 PM
7

Often I meet people from “everything is normal” gang here. Is approach anxiety grounded in anything? “Boo, learn to talk to people weirdo”. Do women like a minority of men or is it a myth? “Duh, normal women normally like normal men”. Why do they even come here?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 07:53 PM
1

Pfff, here we go to pt one. I began by saying there is lack of substance in talking about approach anxiety in general. Breaking down in points has nothing to do with amount of anxiety I experience. If you noticed, I stated that cold approach is not a shortcut. The problem is not a social anxiety attacks. It’s common for people of both genders to be anxious about expressing interest in someone. Skills of romantic communication don’t necessarily match social skills in general. Just bad take on ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 05:53 PM
1

Tbh, I’m not completely sure how it relates to my post above. Speaking of cold approach, I think we need to clarify what it is, because there is a lot of confusion about terms here. I consider an approach to be cold if you talk to a stranger in any setting - street, bar, college, whatever. The meaning of cold approaches is not in saving time getting a gf. If you’re a guy and your cold approaches are rejected, it feels the same as it feels for women who never get approached. It’s a shitty feeling…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 05:00 PM
1

They are interconnected and their importance is specific to every man. Generally, you’re concerned about making the woman uncomfortable because you may be not enough for her or because you may say something she’ll consider wrong. If it happens, it’s bad itself, but also she may complain to someone. The experience of past rejections amplifies these concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 03:01 PM
3

The discussion about approaching seems lacking nuance. It is always about being afraid of approaching vs not being afraid. I think, the discussion may be more substantial if you break down the components of the approach anxiety. I think the components are: Feeling you’re not enough. Not knowing what to say. Concern about making the woman uncomfortable. Past rejections. Concern about false accusations. I think if you break down the approach anxiety it seems more reasonable than the vague fear of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 02:47 PM
4

It’s sad indeed. But if you break down the fear of rejection, you may be able to see it’s somewhat reasonable. I think, fear of rejection comes from these sources: - Feeling not enough. There is always uncertainty if the woman won’t like you because of height, income, or appearance. The safest option is to be 6’6” model-looking billionaire. If you’re not, the thought of being not enough is always on the back of your mind. - Not knowing how to approach. IMO, a small number of people are naturally…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 02:27 PM
6

Women have the expectation that men must naturally be able to approach gracefully. It’s illustrated well by the discussion around first messages in online dating. Women complain about “hey” as a first message but send “hey” themselves as a first message. If women didn’t understood that men are humans similar to them and don’t have approaching superpowers, that would help the whole situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:59 PM
5

Just curious, don’t you find it weird it’s not a norm that women initiate? If women approached, there would be less rejections for men and less unwanted attention for women, wouldn’t it? Given that women typically like 2-5% of men, and men are more open, it would be more convenient if women approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:51 PM
15

The sort of comments like “approach, don’t be afraid” suppose that guys are just irrationally afraid of approaching. I bet every guy who avoids approaching has more specific reasons than a simple irrational fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:47 PM
3

If a desperate shallow and horny (DSH) guy understands comments on appearance don’t work, he’ll start a conversation about something else. I guess it’s currently common knowledge that a guy shouldn’t start with comments on appearance. So it seems “no comments on appearance” is not a protection from DSH guys, but rather a stylistic choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 01:44 PM
2

Women like men who earn money. Why do men give hard-earned money for easy thing? Hmmm, it’s difficult to say why.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 11:26 PM
8

Sex easy, money hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:05 PM
5

What power?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:05 PM
105

Men don’t approach because: - they are afraid of looking like creeps. - they don’t really know how to approach - they don’t feel themselves attractive enough
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 03:38 AM
–

If guys grow up with understanding that women don’t care that much about looks, then there is messaging of that to guys. When I grew up, that messaging was quite strong. What’s your point, is it that men don’t try? I wouldn’t compare men and women, because they are in completely different situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 02:56 PM
–

I like how your thoughts go. See, people discuss dating lore, figure out dating builds, and some of them post fan art (delusional posts about sex bots and civilisation collapse). Also, some post balance complaints.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:53 AM
–

People like to talk about things. There are subreddits about computer games. Why do people write here, do they want to change the game or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:47 AM
–

Because other factors may prevent someone from getting opportunities. Also, dating skills are separate kind of social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:45 AM
–

If you ask a man what he looks for in a woman, he’ll mention physical attractiveness. Women will mention anything except for the looks. Idk why women have this “it’s implied, hehe stupid” take. Also, the thing is that standards for being attractive are higher for men imo. It took me a while to realize that “an attractive man” is really a Brad Pitt grade of attractive while an “attractive woman” is your neighbour who’s not fat. It’s a bit surprising women don’t mention looks among the qualities t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:33 AM
–

Partly it happens because men explicitly say they look for a physically attractive women. Women usually say “it’s implied, hehe, you stupid”. Idk what the reason is but noticed it online and irl. May be women by default have an attractive guy nearby who’s into them, so it’s not that important to mention. Speaking of frustration, I guess the thing is women consider top-tier guys attractive. When I studied in the uni, I saw that the guys who could reliably approach girls were tall, handsome, jacke…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:20 AM
1

That’s some strange fantasy imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 02:15 AM
1

Anger specifically? I guess there is a number of guys who are misogynistic for no reason. It’s like having a mental illness. Some become angry because they get no attention from women. But I’d say getting no romantic and sexual attention is the reason for discontent rather than anger.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 12:15 AM
–

How’d I say… In high school and the first year of college, I never asked anyone out, because I never felt someone was interested. Then I read a little bit about dating, found out that many guys don’t see signs of interest from women, and decided to start approaching girls. Got rejected somewhat like 40 times and decided, okay seems it’s not for me. Stopped approaching after that. Had three LTRs that originated from being classmates/coworkers. I didn’t approach or had initial dates with those wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 12:09 AM
3

Huh, the objections to your point were the examples of your point. “Uuugh, but you’re a bad person, aren’t you?”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 11:53 PM
1

Many rejections, some of them rude. Nothing really dramatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 01:20 AM
5

Can you tell her opinion on why male thirstiness makes dating for them terrible?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 10:11 PM
0

I think it happens because masculine virtues are not moral. Women confuse arrogance/narcissism with confidence, dominance with assertiveness and so on. Feminine virtues are moral. There is nothing to confuse being caring and kind with. Why do women confuse these things? I guess men are more exposed to bad behaviors of other men. For example, when you’re a kid, you encounter bullies and learn to distinguish healthy confidence and bully confidence. Women don’t have such experience usually.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 11:54 AM
1

Yep, I wonder why it is difficult for people to admit this part of male experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 02:07 PM
2

Some were, some were not. I’d say there’s little correlation. I’m not talking about my friend group. I’m talking of environments like school or job.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 12:12 AM
2

I’d say much less exaggerated. Most guys have girlfriends, but are single for a long time in between. Sorry, what do you mean by exceptions being not noticed?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 12:08 AM
2

Very comprehensive explanation. I’d add it to a ppd encyclopedia if I had one.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 11:39 PM
2

Why don’t they notice? My bet is because they aren’t sure what that is cause it doesn’t usually happen to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 11:36 PM
4

Seems like a lot of discussions related to dating can be resolved by what rp calls 80/20. If you don’t like that specific term, we can call it attraction asymmetry (number of men a woman likes is less than number of women a man likes). I saw a thread today like “do men really not notice interest from women?”. Like, yep, your average guy doesn’t have much experience. I thought, a good number of similar questions can be explained through 80/20.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 11:14 PM
–

I noticed that often women have a weak understanding of dating from male point of view. Women I talked to about it often thought that men just sleep around a lot and then meet a woman whom they really-really like and marry her. I know guys who have this lifestyle, but they are quite a rarity. In an any group I’ve been a part of (school/uni/work) there is one, may be two guys like that. Most men I know just live their life without actively pursuing women. Sometimes they meet someone who likes the…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 02:12 PM
–

I think, it’s because rp doesn’t give a lot of practical advice. Descriptive ideas like 80/20 are fine. But there are not a lot of things one can implement.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/24 01:54 AM
4

I saw this too, and I saw more civilised companies. In one company departments may be at war, while in another they may openly discuss their disagreements.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 07:20 PM
5

Trading and investment banking is quite funny bubble. There are less Darwinistic organisations and professions even in the financial sector.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 06:57 PM
1

Probably depends on the place and the balance of conservatism/modernity there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 03:59 PM
1

If I’ll have a son in the future, I’ll pass some wisdom to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 03:51 PM
1

That’s the part of it. Women are taught about it, but I think in general they don’t get that much recommendation on being a good girlfriend or wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 03:50 PM
1

Apparently women here don’t believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 03:45 PM
5

Also overestimation of men’s abilities. Expectation that you’ll figure out everything on your own and earn everything you want. Funny thing is sometimes you’re not that happy about things you earned if the price is too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 02:01 AM
2

I can only imagine. It is difficult in places where traditionalism coexists with modernity. I’d assume many developing countries are similar in this regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 01:54 AM
8

I’ve been listening to a podcast by a family psychologist. She said an interesting thing - that we teach boys and men how to treat their partners well, and are overall concerned with them being good partners. At the same time, we don’t teach girls and women the same. Also, we don’t teach boys and men that they may expect to be treated well and get what they want from relationships. There is some truth to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 01:41 AM
3

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:18 AM
2

Quality dropped definitely. As of late, most posts are some extreme takes. Strangely enough, sane posts are often removed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:16 AM
–

I was talking about since 70s too. There is a difference between tried and did.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:14 AM
–

No you. Imo, women’s perception of men is biased. You gals look at the top men, and generalize from there. It’s like I’d say “Women don’t really work, they just get photographed for clothes brands and get tons of cash”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:12 AM
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Didn’t know men have been getting hot matches. On a serious note, the only guys I’ve seen sleeping around were handsome guys from rich families. So, imo it’s not fair to say “men” do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 12:08 AM
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Didn’t know men in general have been doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 11:54 PM
1

Not sure about that man. When I saw how top guys are treated, I was like “shit, I lost in life”.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 10:53 PM
5

What makes you think the guy in question cannot crawl?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 02:16 AM
–

Am I the only one who sees an interesting post, decides to reply later, and later finds the post gone?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 12:01 AM
2

I think you’re mistaken. Men really find many women sexually attractive. Healthy weight and normal face is all what’s required. What you do is trying to project women’s type of attraction onto men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 02:55 PM
1

Depends on what you mean by “expected”. Is it how often men want? Or is it how men would expect taking into account business of their daily lives? Or is it how often men are willing to compromise for?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 02:47 PM
2

I never heard about it. There are people of different backgrounds on Reddit. It was quite depressive to realise what the difference is between top and mid guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 01:08 PM
3

I certainly didn’t realize how much looks mattered when I was young.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 12:40 AM
9

I noticed, boys are often left to figure out problems on their own. Bullied at school? Deal with it. No money when you’re in college? Go and earn them as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 03:01 PM
14

I can see the only way to combine the recommendation to approach and not approach at the same time. I guess women want men to approach, but only those men they want, only when they want, and only in the manner they want. Also, women are different and have different understanding of appropriate approaching. It’s a very weird position. If I wanted only specific persons from a group of people to talk to me when I want and how I want, I’d speak to them myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:44 AM
5

Depends on the industry. In many industries sales resemble arranged marriages more than approaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 01:24 AM
73

If you made any social interaction as confusing as approaching, people would stop doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 11:39 PM
19

When discussing why men don’t approach, people often start with fear of approaching. It seems strange people don’t consider guys don’t know how to approach. I guess, a large portion of those guys would say they don’t really know.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 11:33 PM
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Seems like that. But it can be said in many ways, like “it’s cause you’re literally satan”. Why do people want to emphasise entitlement? Is it because people believe all bad men don’t get women, so this guy must be bad?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:41 AM
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I’m, not necessarily. I’ve met some women whom I like a lot, and it’s difficult to say really why I liked them. It’s just you like to be around that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:38 AM
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I’m not really sure what you want to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:36 AM
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Why are people in the comments often so negative about guys who vent about their lack of dating success? Seems like a lot of people feel they must put down a guy who’s not successful. I can’t imagine people would be so negative about a post from a woman who cannot get a date. With posts from men it is always about people writing sorts of “There is definitely something wrong about you, fucker.”.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:33 AM
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Comments like “no one owes you attention” and “you’re entitled” often puzzle me. Usually they are under a post or comment is from a guy who’s frustrated with dating. I just can’t get the point of those comments. A dude says he does X to achieve his goal Y, but it doesn’t work. What’s wrong about it? If my friend told me he studied a lot but couldn’t get good grades, I’d discuss it with him. Is it some kind of American thing to turn everything into discussions about rights?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:28 AM
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Every piece of dating advice for men can be interpreted negatively.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 12:56 AM
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Men’s standards are more romantic because it’s liking a woman for who she is. Women’s standards are just pragmatic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 12:54 AM
1

Average woman = attractive. Average man = unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 01:19 AM
1

Interviews are one of the most insane activities people invented. Anything other than a proper technical interview is a waste of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:10 PM
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I just read another post in which a guy complains about having little romantic success. He stated he’s earning good money, is in shape, and he supposes he’s not that ugly. Of course, he got a ton of “your salary or height doesn’t mean you’re entitled to attention”. I’m just interested what makes people to put down a guy who asks about his problems with attracting women? If a guy says he has no luck, he’s given advice like “go shower”. If he then says he showered and it doesn’t seem to help, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:19 PM
1

I think you misread it. They are a special rather than a regular person for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 01:21 AM
2

Hah, yep, they’re inhuman. The real NPCs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 11:57 PM
1

No, there is Jack, Steve, Rick. They are not some “regular person” for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 11:55 PM
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When I hear the recommendation “talk to women like to regular people”, I think there are not many “regular people” in our life. There are friends, bosses, colleagues, baristas, policemen, bureaucrats, family, and other categories of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 06:18 PM
1

From female POV it may look like men have no standards. Women need to see an extraordinary man to be sexually attracted. Men are sexually attracted to ordinary women. In comparison, it looks like men have no standards, but the standards just don’t require being extraordinary.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:35 PM
1

For women it’s okay I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 02:09 AM
1

Other guys in similar environments don’t have these problems, so it’s not because of luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 02:05 AM
1

Well, other guys succeed in similar environments, so it seems suitable women are around.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 02:05 AM
1

There is some truth to it. I think there is quite a lot of negative messaging towards men. “Don’t do that, don’t do this”. I can imagine why a boy who grows up listening to all these opinions, may find it difficult to talk to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 02:03 AM
1

Was it ever enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 01:54 AM
1

I don’t think some social factors play a role here. People blame phones, social media, porn, and so on for the problems in dating. I think there is a thing that affects a substantial part of men that prevents them from being successful with women. Can’t figure out what it is though. Why do some guys just live their life and sleep around and date without much problem? Why do seemingly similar guys have little success?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 01:53 AM
1

Speaking about boys falling behind, I’d say we need to support boys more. I was one of the best student in my school, but no one really did anything for me. I think boys are disproportionately expected to figure everything on their own. I’ve seen a lot of times that parents and schools invest a lot in girls. It seems they believe that poor girls are going to be discriminated against so it’s better to prepare them as well as possible. At the same time, boys often are met with “you doctor yet?” at…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 09:22 PM
2

Why do you think a normal guy may have problems with dating? When people discuss an unsuccessful guy they often start talking about nevkbeards from basements who shower once a year. I think, this skews the conversation and is a discussion of a different question. So, imagine there is a normal guy, but he has tough luck with women. How can you explain it? Is it inability to notice interest from women? Some kind of a psychological problem? My best guesses are 1) they don’t have enough social skill…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 12:50 PM
2

Hi. I think we’re yet to understand what the reason is for cases like yours. Most guys I know who have problems with dating are similar to you. They have a good job, aren’t ugly, and are pretty much normal functional adults. Some of them even achieve quite a lot. So, I don’t believe that most men unsuccessful with dating are horrible neckbeards from basements. The reason I’m on this sub is to find some clues to explain this thing. It seems to me that guys like you either lack some kind of pick u…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 12:23 PM
0

Well not really. Top 20 doesn’t sound like ultra-billionaire. Every fifth person is not billionaire. Then, there is the question of dating life quality. If you’re in top 20, then it’s good. If you’re not, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be forever alone, just means your dating life would be quite poor. Your understanding of rp is very black and white.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 01:04 AM
0

Ok, I just don’t see where you contradict rp.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 12:32 AM
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Command and conquer.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:42 PM
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Correct. Well, I’m not in the best mood today, so you may find her takes more balanced.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:12 PM
1

Well, probably I’ve been in a bubble of educated professionals, but I think there are much more overall decent guys with the lack of sociosexual skills than non-socialised types. When I was in high school, I participated in different stuff, but had no idea how to get a gf.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:07 PM
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Yeah, seen him. As for me, he’s too much tense. I mean, he sounds like a crime news reporter. Most good relationships I’ve seen are more relaxed than what he says.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 09:03 PM
1

My response could be more nuanced than that, but it’s “yes, but no”. While I think there is a share of romantically unsuccessful guys who are poorly socialised (a neckbeard from the basement), mainly guys have difficulties because of lack of specific romantic communication skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:49 PM
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I didn’t say anything about hearing something and getting married. Personality is one thing, wealth is another, education is yet another. I don’t know how speculation about hearing and marrying fit here.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:37 PM
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Holy… they must write it in brainfuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:34 PM
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All those are very good possible explanations. My respects.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:29 PM
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She’s not insanely prescriptive. She gave somewhat general recommendations, that are quite sensible. But often when I hear “do that”, “do this”, “don’t do that”, I have a feeling like “okay, if there are so many requirements, why wouldn’t just do it yourself”. I know it’s quite an immature reaction, but I can’t help. When I listen to such recommendations I think Linux from scratch is easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:20 PM
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Why do you think UMC guys with poor social skills influence her impression? Hmmm, may be. If I were that kind of coach, I wouldn’t worry about that kind of perception tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:15 PM
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Hmmm, because word personality has a definition? Like, it’s a sum of behavioral, cognitive, and emotional patterns. They have nothing to do with things listed above. I know one very talented person with a good income, and education, who has bad personality and annoys almost everyone. I know a wealthy, educated, powerful man who has nothing humane in him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:13 PM
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Listened to a podcast with a female dating coach who works with men. She said something like “men definitely don’t have it more difficult than women in dating”. Then she proceeds with “women are choosers; if you want to have a good dating life you need to build attractive lifestyle, have a good career, be fit, have interesting hobbies, behave like this, text like this, say this…” Overall, you have to be outstanding. Also, she said rejection for men is normal, so you better get used to it. I thou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:07 PM
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If women define the sum of wealth, power, popularity, education, and talents as personality, then yes, personality. If you apply that definition, then there isn’t much to discuss really.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 07:53 PM
3

And I don’t see it as something bad. Intellect should be rewarded. I know a couple of guys who are math machines. They are not pleasant, but I respect them, because they overminds and sacrificed a lot in the process of becoming that clever.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 07:36 PM
1

Yep, there is this detachment of status from wealth. Previously, high earnings were available to bosses - management, military officers, etc. Those who commanded people were rewarded. Now, there are spheres where pure intellect can achieve rewards. Mainly they are IT and investments, may be there are others. But our brains haven’t evolved to think that a man may be valuable even if he doesn’t command other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:38 PM
1

Yes, 16.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 11:04 AM
1

It’s often about earning potential. When I chose my future profession, I definitely thought about money.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:08 AM
1

I guess we can only raise men’s awareness about it. If we told boys, “Little Johnny, when you grow up you may just be a pile of genetic trash”, then less guys would feel deceived when they grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:00 AM
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Chad son of course. No one gives a shit about those who really changes the world around us. Shuji Nakamura invented LED lamps, who cares. But an everyone knows Ronaldo or Shaq, people who literally play with balls.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:40 PM
0

Reading comprehension: -1/10.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:51 AM
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Yeah, and by coincidence the most fashionable clothes are revealing, sexy, and attractive male attention. No one wears 18th century dresses, pikachu costumes or workwear. Somehow only tiny shorts and tops are fashionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:47 AM
3

There is no connection between feeling entitled and complaining about standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:42 AM
2

Nah, you don’t understand how it works it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:40 AM
1

A dude in comments said he was sacked for suggesting help to a female coworker. While, all the women on Reddit say nothing like that ever happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 05:16 PM
2

Idk, I’m in white collar professional environment with a corresponding background in education.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:24 AM
2

Not sure about it. I think I know about too many hookups or fwbs or pick ups to assume it is not some kind of a rarity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:17 AM
3

Everyone likes egalitarianism, people just cannot agree on what’s egalitarian. For example, one of the causes of gender pay gap is maternity leave. Is it egalitarian to leave it be or should we pay women more to compensate for the time they spend with children? Another example is physical jobs. Should we pay the same a man and a woman if the man can carry 50 kg at a time and the woman can carry 30kg?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:06 AM
3

Couple of thoughts about that. First, you need to get a date, so she’d be able to know you better. Men in general don’t even pass the filter of “can be considered for a potential date”. Second, women go on dates or hookup with guys if those are full package - tall, handsome, charismatic, relatively rich. I’ve seen it quite a lot of times, so it’s hard to convince me most women necessarily need to know a guy for some time. I think, I was liked by 2, maybe 3, women in my lifetime and had 2 LTRs. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:00 AM
3

Men do have some standards, but they are pretty relaxed compared to women’s. Here my estimations based on my experience in university and a white collar job. Judging by looks alone, I’d go on a first date with probably 60-70% of women of approximately my age. Adding personality (interests and lifestyle), I could probably date and have short-term relationships with 30-40%. As for marriage, it’s hard to say, it depends on the unique story of a couple. It’s very different from women’s “I see an att…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 11:30 PM
2

Heels are one of the main mysteries to me. Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 10:48 PM
1

Fair point. Although, I can’t remember that much of contradictory advice I got.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:20 AM
1

I’d say many older women tell their sons and grandsons that being nice, gentlemanish, and respectful is what women want. So, guys are taught to work a lot and be nice, which is doesn’t exactly lead to success.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:18 AM
1

In short, your post contains some statements but doesn’t support them with much.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:13 AM
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Hi, OP. If you’re serious, please stop taking it seriously right now. What the term means is that women are less popular as they age. Like, if you are 20 and go to the city centre for a day, 500 men will notice you. If you’re over 30, 100 men will notice you. No women don’t become completely invisible after 30. Yes, women find partners in their 30s and 40s and 50s. Why does “the wall” sound that tough? Because men never experience as much attention as young women. The wall is the wall in compari…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:10 AM
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Not sure if it’s outdated. May be it was never realistic. I suppose the reason is that we have a wrong model of a young male. The assumption is that young guys would be annoying and egoistic to the point of harassment. While many are not that confident and will just avoid approaching girls after hearing all the talk about harassment, objectification, annoying male attention, and all that stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:00 AM
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Such as?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:55 AM
1

I do. Women have all the choice, it’s absolutely not a problem to find a guy who behaves decently. I suppose, she may go to a therapist and change something that makes her choose losers or abusive guys. If you’re always rejected, you can’t only talk your way out of it. You need new information and make actions. That’s why I suppose coaching works better as you stated somewhere. It’s about new info and actions. Asking “what do you feel about x” doesn’t help with that kinda of problems. My point i…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:51 AM
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I’m surprised many people here wonder that some men feel deceived about women. Things people tell boys about dating are one of the most contradictory pieces of information that exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:28 AM
1

A couple of thoughts about it, not sure how correct they are. I think, it’s more common for women to have problems “in their head”. For example, if a woman says that she has difficulty with dating , it most likely means she doesn’t feel fantastic about her current dating experiences. If a guy says that, it probably means he’s constantly rejected. So that’s why therapy may help women more. If a guys is broke, he’s broke. You can’t talk a person out of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 02:00 AM
3

Okay, you make a lot of assumptions not supported by anything. Your post states or implies: men here don’t see women as people. What makes you believe so? Do you suppose any man who has difficulties with women doesn’t seem them as people? What behavior do you count as not seeing women as people? How does seeing women as people resolve the problems men have with women? if men stopped seeing women as non-people, they’d have no problems with women. What makes you believe men who don’t see women as …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 01:42 AM
6

I think, a good share of posters is neurodivergent. It makes sense, as neurodivergent people cannot behave naturally and need to adjust themselves to fit others. But I guess many people are normal and just have some personality qualities that make them contrarians. For example, some people who grow up in religious communities doubt their religion even if they are heavily socialised into it. Does it make them all neurodiverse? They’re just sceptics.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 07:44 AM
1

I wouldn’t limit it to autists only. There are many things we teach boys about dating that may cause confusion when they really start doing it. Also, aversion to small talk is not an indicator of autism. In some countries small talk is not something people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:09 PM
2

It seems like many critics of rp think that rp is some kind of a political program that comes out of the blue. Like, “we believe in AF/BB, so everyone should follow AF/BB”. In reality it is an attempt to explain what happens in dating and some recommendations of what to do with that understanding. Its existence and relative popularity shows there is a demand for such explanation and recommendation. Criticising it from a position that rp is just nonsense some guys invented for some vague purpose …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 12:05 PM
1

What many people don’t get about the RP is that it’s not a political program, but an attempt to describe what happens around and how to behave. A political program is like “things are now this way, but we’ll make them that way”. RP is more of a “it works like that, so keep it in mind”. Take spinning plates for example. It’s not a prescription like “you guys don’t date several women at the same time now, but it must change, so go and date many women, because I said so”. Spinning plates is a recom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 11:43 AM
2

Depends on your definition of struggle. Women on Reddit like to use criteria like “not single by 30”. It’s not a good criterion. Women tend to think that any guy who’s dressed in clean shirt and trousers, has perfect dating opportunities. To find out what guy really feels about his dating prospects, you need to have an open conversation in the atmosphere of trust. I have a friend who “does well” for most people. People he’s open with know he lost his virginity at 25, with a professional. Most wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 11:16 AM
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Mmm, that’s not correct. I met two guys about whom I definitely know they were abusive. Both times they were with their wives. I suppose such guys put on a mask when their women are around. There are some behaviors that are typical for them. Verbal aggression towards the weaker. Boasting how strong/powerful they are. Lack of respect for boundaries. But in general my gut feeling about them is that they’d hit your head with a pipe from behind if you two were alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:31 AM
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I guess male and female bullies have some similar qualities. There is always something “stinky” about them. I’m not sure how people don’t see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:20 AM
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Wouldn’t say that disgusting behaviors excite women I know. But I can relate to the story about squaring up a weaker guy. Bullies in my school always had girlfriends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:19 AM
2

Compatibility is kind of a second-order problem for men. The major problem is levelling up yourself to a point where you are able to start looking for compatibility. The complaints you listed are incorrect if you read them literally. Like “any guy below 6 foot is doomed to always be alone”. But, as a guy I can understand where those complaints come from.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 02:15 AM
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It’s interesting women say that it may be difficult to distinguish abusive guys from decent ones in the initial stages of dating. At the same time, I noticed men can detect those guys quite easily. I think, men can detect them easier because in childhood we encounter physically aggressive guys and kinda have a “profile” of a bully. Women often confuse aggressiveness for confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:59 AM
0

Compatibility is rare for sure. BTW, it’s an interesting question for me if a person should look for a person who matches specifically them or for a person who is able to live in harmony with a partner. May be ability to be compatible is a separate characteristic of people. While it’s hard to find someone compatible for anyone, I’d say that the process of looking for that person is more enjoyable for women, on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 12:22 AM
7

I suppose a lot of that anger is about the situation in general. I read an article written by a guy who studies inc*ls, and he says they are suicidal rather than aggressive. That makes sense for me personally. As for objectification, it’s difficult for me to judge. How do you think rp/pua objectifies women?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:12 PM
6

I suppose a big part of women’s negative reaction to rp or pua points is due to women’s unawareness of men’s experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:15 PM
1

I suppose the op refers to the situation where a man complains that dating is hard for men, and a woman responds it is not hard for men. What are your thought on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:04 PM
2

I think OP refers to the situation where a man complains that dating is hard for men and a woman responds that his complains are not valid. What are your thoughts?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:03 PM
2

I think he meant a dialogue that is repeated quite often here and on some other subs. In short it goes like this: A guy: - Dating is so difficult for men. A woman: - Dating is absolutely fine for men. Optional follow ups from the woman: - It’s your personality - There are couples in the mall Your thoughts on that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:01 PM
3

I kinda understand what op talks about; his phrasing is quite inaccurate. As I understand it, he means that men often say that dating is borderline impossible for guys, and women respond that there is no such big problem. In other words, he thinks women believe that dating experience for men is absolutely fine, and the complaints are unrealistic. Adding a bit from myself, many women I met irl think that dating is so much easier for men. It surprised me quite a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:57 PM
0

You seem to miss the point and add some assumptions to come to conclusions you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 09:49 PM
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I’ve been listening to some podcasts about male issues recently. So many people say masculinity is in crisis, we need to redefine masculinity, and so on. I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that many speakers are like “What’s wrong with those fuckers? It’s needed to do something about them 🤔”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 12:33 AM
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Yep, it’s a bit disappointing people still like “big monkey run”.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:28 PM
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Physiology-schmisiology. I just wanted to say that for me personally physical activity has always been “please not this again” time of the day. I wish this statement about energy and many other generalisations about men were somehow related to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:26 PM
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“Male psychology is craving for being physical and utilising its innate explosive power”. I wish it was like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 06:38 PM
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Probably, it’s a complaint about the very initial stage. Even if you have to initiate, you need to see at least some signs of interest. Probably, it is an expression of frustration caused by failed attempts.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 11:23 PM
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In my school there were kids who shoved heads of others into the toilet and kids who studied hard and played violin. In the company where I work there are older guys who divorced and married their secretaries and guys who have been with one woman for 20-30 years. Morally questionable people inhabit every social group. A bad boy from Harvard would be different from a bad boy from a redneck area. Anyway, both are morally questionable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 02:04 AM
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Add to it that women imagine that men’s lives are so much better than women’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 01:51 AM
2

Everyone’s opinions on dating are biased by personal experience. Interaction like dating are private, so we have a limited personal exposure, and hear a limited number of their people’s stories. From time to time there is a study or two with a limited scope. Dating is similar to experiences like sex or job interviews. We have to fill the gaps with assumptions. A en example of a different type of activity is talking to a cashier at a shop. You may just observe it a lot and see how it is done “in …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:27 AM
3

Yes, I know guys like that. I’m somewhat like that too. I suppose, the reason is that being good with women is a separate skill for men. I have no idea how this talent is obtained. Some guys are just good at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:43 PM
2

I suppose women meaning both things under one term is a source of misunderstanding. What sounds for women like “there are no guys I like”, sounds to men like “I have high standards and look for an exceptional guy”. There are many arguments on this sub that are caused by misunderstanding words due to different experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:39 PM
1

Do you mean saying “there’s no food” when there is some? Otherwise there is no word play in your example. Yep, I understand why people say it. At the same time this phrase implies the food you have “isn’t even food”. That’s not not the best implication when talking about people imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:31 PM
1

I suppose, it needs to be itemised in the context of discussions we have here. Reading this sub for a while, I understood that men and women are often blind for the experience of each other. By the way, that’s why women overreact negatively to anything RP-related. For example, the meaning of “attractive” seems to be different for men and women. I, and a man, can meet 10-30 attractive women in a day. When women mean attractive they often assume a type of guy they meet once in 6 months. As follows…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:27 PM
–

I suppose there would be no discussion about it, if most women said that looks matter, and the best looking guys get all the girls. There are several nuances that feed the discussions on this topic. First, women often downplay the importance of looks. Second, women set a high bar for looks. That’s something you may not understand even if you get normal socialization as a kid and teen. Finally, this requirement to stand out is quite tiring. The realization you need to be a piece of art to have so…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 10:39 AM
2

It’s interesting for me to discuss on those verbal misunderstandings. As usual, a gender swap helps. If my male friend told me “odd_cloud, you know, there are no good women”, I’d think he’s been meeting women with personality flaws. Like, materialistic, abusive, disrespectful or something along these lines. But if he said that he cannot find a woman making X money, working in area Y, fit, and of his particular physical type (something like a German blonde over 6 feet with C cup)… I’d say “It has…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:48 AM
5

Kind of. If my friend complained to me there are no good women left, I’d assume that he’s been meeting women with some personality flaws, like materialistic, abusive, unappreciative, or egoistic. Something like that. If he told me that by “no good women” he meant he cannot find a Latina with blue eyes with looks of a model and a C cup, who works in astrophysics, is fit, wants sex 3x a day and makes over 100k… I’d tell him to stop imagining problems and fuck off.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:28 AM
4

I always found that would phrasing “no good man left” a bit strange. I think that the main limiting factor for women’s choice is physical attractiveness of men, not their “goodness”. Wouldn’t it be a bit off if a man complained there were no good women left, while meaning there are not enough model-looking women? If my friend had this hypothetical problem, I’d expect him to say there are no sexy/hot women instead of talking about “good” women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:00 AM
3

An odd linguistic thing is saying there are no good men, but aktually it means other things. It would be strange if I said that there are no good women left, meaning that there is no hot latinas over 6’1’’ who are into rocket science and make over 100k.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 11:28 PM
1

Let’s say I’m in a bar. Then, there is a dude sitting at the next table and reading a newspaper. He’s not different for me from all the dudes with newspapers I saw that week in the parks. So yep, I’m interested where the “social place magic” happens for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:31 PM
1

Not fact. It may be an opinion, or a custom, but hardly a fact. I understand that you and many other people believe there are appropriate and inappropriate places. I’m just ethnographically curious in what makes certain places “appropriate”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:22 PM
1

Mmm, doesn’t explain much really. I see too often women believe men possess some supernatural social skills that allow them to understand if a woman is into them or wants to be approached. First, this skill hardly can be defined as a social skill, second, they don’t exist. When you approach a girl, you just take a guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:00 PM
0

For me the personally, people I see at a concert are strangers no less that those I see at a grocery store. I just struggle to understand how being at the same concert or bar or any other place makes another person not-such-a-stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:52 PM
1

👍
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:32 PM
0

I’m just not sure group activities and discipline help that much. I think, social skills and charisma (for the lack of a better word) intersect, but to a small degree. I’m not sure how to target charisma though. May be Rizz 101? I don’t know how to explain to a kid that she/he needs to work hard for what some people have as a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:30 PM
7

I just remember my high school. The two popular guys were not anything special in terms of discipline, sport, hobbies, etc. They were just handsome and likeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 03:01 AM
2

I’ve seen here a good analogy that may help to relate. Imagine you were into a guy when you both were in your early 20s. But he liked another girl and married her. When you’re both in your early 30s he tells you that now he really likes you, so now he is ready to have fwb with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:58 AM
3

There are some things that complicate it. First, women often react negatively if they are approached by an unattractive guy. Second, all this rhetoric about harassment, objectification, and sexualisation doesn’t go unnoticed by young guys. Some public intellectual (don’t remember the name) said that he grew up surrounded by that kind of talk: objectification, mansplaining, manspreading and so on. So, in his teens he genuinely thought that being sexually attracted to women is wrong and evil. How …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:45 AM
6

Approaching a woman you don’t know: eeeeew. Approaching a woman you don’t know, but at a concert: yeeeeees.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:35 AM
1

Argh, this take repeats constantly You see her receptiveness when you already approached. You need to decide if it is appropriate to approach before you approach. You see what the problem is?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:32 AM
9

Agreed, there may be some self-selection bias. Kinda like “kids who are going to be more popular are selecting sports” rather than “sports make people popular”. I think, it may not be the best idea to put a kid in sports if he’s not good at it. There are chances he’ll be bullied if he’s really bad in a team sport. Also, strange attitude about “fuckin” needs and momma boys. As a mentor you may have a serious impact. I had an amazing coach who tried to develop every kid no matter how unconfident a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:15 AM
7

Sports is not a bad idea for developing certain qualities. I guess, it translates to a little degree into future romantic success though. I believe, the most problematic thing for men of all ages is the lack of skills of interacting with women. I have little idea of how someone can “learn” them. I think you over evaluate the attractiveness of mental/physical discipline. If anything, guys should be motivated to be more fun somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:06 AM
1

To be honest, it’s a difficult question to answer. Masculinity is a vague term, and I don’t really relate to it, and cannot define it. I don’t know what to say about my relation to masculinity “in general”. But, I can tell about some specific male experiences I found problematic. First is that after a certain age (late adolescence) you start getting criticisms instead of empathy for your problems. Felling unwell? Make an appointment with a doctor. A girl rejected you? No wonder, you suck. Failed…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 01:05 PM
1

If it’s not trolling, ask whatever you have in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:43 AM
1

So, only negatives?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:41 AM
2

I often heard from women in my life and not-so-much-in-my-life some quite strange stereotypes about men. And women choose their partners, go on dates, and behave in relationships guided by such stereotypes. I think, understanding some real things about other people is better than having misconceptions. Also, I suppose most threads with dating discussions would be half shorter.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:41 AM
1

You’re correct about the lack of incentives. I think, it’d be useful for themselves though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:18 AM
4

It would be nice if women wanted to understand more about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:12 AM
1

Some progress in all these discussions around dating can be made if more people would admit men can have their share of confusion and problems. I’ve seen too many times the opinion that a “normal” man has its wonderful with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:11 AM
1

Crime is less in places where punishment is severe and swift. Lecturing 90% of population that crime is bad is less effective than dealing with 5% of population who do commit crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:35 AM
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Small dogs are often more aggressive because their owners don’t see threat in them and don’t train them properly. I guess it is similar with those women. If a man behaves this way, he’s quickly reminded of it. But people don’t see that much of a threat from women so they get away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:25 AM
1

A minute of armchair psychology. Tbh, I was always suspicious and cautious of so-called dominant and confident people. Once upon a time I behaved in a dominant and confident way for a couple of weeks. I was disagreeable, confident, assertive to the degree in combativeness. The secret was that I was on a medication, which has a side effect of decreasing inhibition. I felt myself as impulsive, entitled, egoistic drama queen unable to use more than two neurons at a time. I’ve seen somewhere that pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 08:33 AM
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Huh, if a woman told me that, it would be a memorable day for me, I’d celebrate it every year. No, nothing like that ever happened to me. Nor has it happened to most guys I know. Two guys I know were approached once each, and it was like “can we meet one to one?” rather than suggesting to check how they are in bed. I saw a girl approaching a guy once. But that guy was a sex symbol of our uni department. He could pick up a girl at a bar anytime he wanted. But he was too looking and from a rich fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 02:22 AM
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Well, you start with an advice to not bother women, not sexualise them, never talk about physical attraction. But then you’re supposed to switch to a guy who does it all freely. Like, very confusing thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 02:02 AM
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I meant dominance in sexual and relationship sense, rather than fighting with a rival gang for taking money from a local liquor store. I meant things like initiating sex, explicit sexual comments, rough banter, deciding what two of you are going to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:51 AM
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Any, but to be specific, I’m talking about things that may be classified as an approach. Some women suppose that asking,” What time is it?” is an approach, but I think approach is when you express your interest at least indirectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:47 AM
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Like, any.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:44 AM
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Extremely rare thing. Never happened to me or most of guys I know. Ones who were approached, were approached like 1-2 times in their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:11 AM
1

A great girlfriend is like your best friend bro, but a woman with high sex drive. What makes me feel loved? I guess, when a woman is glad to be around me, has interest in stuff I say, and wants to have sex with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:42 AM
2

Social matrix is a weird term. Something like chakras.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:31 AM
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No. “You’re going to be responsible with the things you paid for” is a bullshit idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:28 AM
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That’s weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:27 AM
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In theory, no. In practice people do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:26 AM
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Nah, the purpose of the ratings is different. You use it to roughly estimate your chances. It is pointless without placing yourself on the scale first.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:24 AM
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A couple of thoughts about it. First, attractive men get a lot more from women than unattractive ones. Attractive men sleep with many women when they are young, have threesomes and what not. Unattractive men study textbooks, wait to become a doctor, and jerk off. Second, many women get the rating system wrong. It seems women think that rating system is like “that one is a 8, so I’m going to treat her better, and this one is 4, so I can get away with mistreating her”. Nope, rating system exists b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:21 AM
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What if not a Croatian?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:10 AM
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Looks like your average seller of vegetables at a market or docker, doesn’t he?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:09 AM
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Today I accidentally formulated what confuses me about male gender role in dating. Also, there is a big confusion about gender roles I think. Kinda, in general act like a sexless creatures around women. But if a woman likes you (a bit of mind reading here), act interested and bit. If she’s more interested, act interested. And if she’s very interested, act dominant and aggressive. But if you move in with her, dial down your dominance and aggression, and become an understanding and attentive. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 12:03 AM
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Got a message “a concerned Redditor reached to us about you”. Which one of you guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 11:59 PM
1

Where did you find that 10:6 ratio for bars and clubs?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 08:16 PM
2

Not sure about that point about men not seeing anything in women except for sex, but in general I agree. If things got clarified, it would be nice for men primarily. I think men have a difficulty seeking what they want from relationships, because the general paradigm is that relationship is basically a man doing nice things for a woman, so she stays with him. I guess in this paradigm men have troubles with even realising their needs, not speaking of seeking them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 03:00 PM
2

That’s what I’m talking about. I know one of my local unis organised group therapy sessions for guys specifically. I suppose it would take ~5 years to collect some clinical observations, and the same to process them and shift the paradigm.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:22 PM
1

I think, a lot of dating and relationships talk is centered around women. What’s advice to a man who has a problem with attracting women or is dissatisfied with something in his relationships? Find where you fucked up and fix the problem. What do f a man wants something that his partner doesn’t? Fix your wants. Discourse that men may have their dissatisfaction in relationships is non-existent. It’s “happy wife happy life” by default. As for mental health, some specialists say we overlook problem…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:19 PM
10

Lately I’ve been noticing more speakers talking about lack of knowledge on male psychology in the psychology field and in general public. I can relate to some things they say. I’m wondering how much this lack of knowledge contributes to the broken dialogue between the two genders. Seems like it will be fixed somewhat in the next 10-20 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 12:50 PM
1

Okay, after giving it a thought, I’d say look for a special connection. You know, sometimes you become friends with a person because there is something about them. I have a friend like this who has a weird and unusual sense of humor (and perceiving the world). I hang out with him because of that, not because he’s the best friend, but because he’s special in that way. I think most of us ordinary people cannot be that good, but we can be special to our partners. I’d say one of the best indicators …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 12:17 PM
1

So?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 11:34 AM
1

Sure, why not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:51 AM
2

No, I don’t, sorry for disappointing you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:40 AM
3

My guess is in their case the problem of getting no attention from women becomes so significant it overshadows all their other successes and problems. I remember myself in the last couple of years in high school. I was an A student, was into some sports, spoke a second language rather fluently (unlike 90% of students), was headed to a good university. The main thing I was concentrated at that time was no attention from girls. Like it was on my mind 80% of my free time. Well, it still is to a deg…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 02:27 AM
1

Big question. Need to think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:26 AM
1

Some people here are reasonable. It’s rare though. It’m not talking of advice. You may ask something you’re just interested in. Like, how it feels to ask someone out on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:25 AM
1

Kinda depends on how you define loyalty. If you mean it in the old-fashioned way, like no sex with other people, then yes, sure, what’s the problem. If you include thoughts about other women in the definition of loyalty, probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:21 AM
2

Hm, I can only guess there are two types of those guys. The unsuccessful guys develop resentment to women. This resentment appears after their desire to date, so they kinda coexist. It’s like being rejected from every position you applied to - you kinda start to hate employers. The second group of guys are the taliban-like guys, who see women as some type of pets or something. These are guys whom I can’t understand at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:20 AM
1

Q4W: anything you’d like to ask a guy about dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 01:08 AM
1

In my opinion there is a double standard to a degree. There is a ton of recommendation to men to listen to their gfs and wives about how their day went, be empathetic about their problems and so on. What is recommended to women? Don’t be his therapist. I noticed in my own relationships that women often cannot process when a man is in deep sadness or has significant emotional problems. I used to think, “Oh my gf told me about that feelings of her. I think I can share something similar about me”. …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 11:24 PM
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Absolutely. All these talks about rights, entitlement, and blame cause such a fatigue in me. It seems like people who are unable to empathize discovered empathy yesterday and try to teach their revelations to others. There is so much discussion about division of chores. Don’t they all feel what makes sense at a specific time? If my gf is tired this week, I do chores, if I’m busy the whole time, she does.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 10:50 PM
1

Three times a day sounds about right for me. It’s interesting what comes first - lack of romance or decrease in sex frequency. In my experience, it’s frequency first. When your a woman doesn’t want you that much anymore, the desire to romance her naturally drops too. I don’t say it happens because of some kind of revenge, you just see her as not interested in you. First you meet a girl who can’t get off of you after a coffee date. Then you move in, you do stuff for both of you and then she’s lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 01:11 AM
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No you didn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 12:40 AM
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I’d like to in-read it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:50 PM
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Seems like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:48 PM
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Why do people post here thing like “I went to a supermarket”, “I have a cat”, “I farted”, “my boogies are tasty”?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 11:46 PM
1

Most men have libidos like that. It’s not about stopping prioritizing. After the honeymoon stage women typically lose interest in having frequent sex with their partners. During honeymoon stage, there is no need in prioritising - two people are both in love, so they have sex when they see each other. It’s after the honeymoon stage when the talk about prioritizing begins - because the woman loses interest and her partner is not satisfied.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 10:39 PM
1

So far, it’s the best option I guess. Reddit is largely male and young. Do you really want to be rated by male teens?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 10:29 PM
1

Are you sure it’s a horny stare though?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 10:27 PM
2

Btw, I noticed some women confuse sexy and pretty. Sometimes they think some clothing is pretty or cute, and don’t suspect it’s smoking hot. Disclaimer: I don’t suppose you don’t see the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 09:48 AM
1

I went to the countryside once, and hiked for about two weeks. My sex drive plummeted. I think, it’s because I didn’t see women in revealing clothing constantly. So, I guess, high sex derive is due to society partly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 10:50 PM
1

I think, you misunderstand it a bit. For men, status and money are a part of attractiveness equation. Being a handsome guy is good, but being a handsome guy with money and status is much better. Why is it a stereotype that girls in high school like the captain of the school team? It’s status. I remember I listened to a podcast with some evolutionary psychologist. He said his female colleague once went to a conference and met the guy who organised the conference. She said she felt very attracted …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 12:46 PM
1

You don’t know in advance what school really does. I suspect you have a different definition of bullying or an idealistic view of authorities. Adults do not use violence to deal with bullying because adult bullying is not violent. If my colleague in the office decided to beat me up at the parking lot or put my head in a toilet bowl, I’d respond. There are literally self defence laws. Your belief in authority is cute. It’s appropriate for a 7 year old probably. Your position explains me quite a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 10:55 AM
1

You’re demonizing self-defence, which is a questionable thing to do, especially for a teacher. If someone started physically assaulting you, would you like your husband to do nothing and just report bad behaviour of the aggressor?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 03:33 AM
1

Sometimes violence is the answer. Sorry, but if a guy on subway starts hitting me out of the blue, I’ll fight back. It doesn’t make me a thug. Btw, if that’s what you teach children in school, no wonder things like Rotheram happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 02:55 AM
1

In my childhood that ended up badly. It was like “kid got beaten by a bully -> kid told a teacher -> teachers told the bully it is bad to beat people -> kid got severely beaten”. Not speaking of covert bullying like “we were just playing” and the teacher was like “yeah, they were definitely just playing”. I hope it’s better now, but doubt it. The only healthy way of dealing with bullying is dealing with violence among children the same way as with violence among adults. Which is allowing self de…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 02:42 AM
1

This article says 70 percent of couples that do ivf select girls. https://slate.com/technology/2024/05/ivf-daughters-toxic-masculinity-sex-selection.html
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 01:57 AM
2

Same
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:14 AM
1

If people could select the gender of their children, what would the majority select? I guess, the majority of people would choose a girl. What would you choose?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:09 AM
1

Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 01:03 AM
2

Compared to raising a girl? I guess, martial arts would be a must. Or any proper sport like athletics (not soccer or volleyball). A musical instrument would be a must too. Emotional processing would be important. Men are expected to control their feelings and not express them a lot, so some skills in emotional processing would be useful. Speaking of emotional side, he’d have a lot of freedom in having his own opinion and having things his way. I guess for men it is more important to be able to s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 12:23 AM
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It seems we agree in general. I’d only say that it’s not “wrong” with that person. We could say it was “wrong” if the majority of men and women had this ability to initiate talks and flirt. In my opinion guys who have no problems with approaching and flirting are a rarity. It’s they who are untypical. In my experience most guys got something going on due to a large degree of luck. In most groups I’ve been in, there ate typically one or two guys who can pick up women consistently.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:34 PM
2

Yes, I met some. Of those I asked, most said that they learn about men through trial and error. Also, I heard some really confused ideas about men from women. Like, “men don’t feel pain because of rejections” or “you men have dating so easy - just approach the girls you like and that’s it”. In short, women often think that dating for men is generally like for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:07 PM
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Most guys are like that imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 01:54 PM
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Guess you’re correct. If a guy is in poor physical shape, he may go to gym. If he has poor style, he may buy new clothes. What should a guy do if he’s bad in talking to women? Guess, there is not much except for reading some pua, despite the quality of their advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:28 PM
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Nice that you agree on that. Often women seem to believe that a “normal” man is able to talk smoothly to women. The difference with opera is that there are literally schools created to develop musical talent. Opera singers don’t just sing and then become professional. Are there schools for charisma? There are gurus who offer to teach charisma, but they don’t seem particularly reliable. Learning from charismatic people isn’t very reliable too. It’s like learning singing from a person with a natur…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 12:17 PM
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In my opinion charisma is a talent, so it’s hardly possible to develop it. Women on ppd like to frame it like just having friends or interacting with people in general makes guys good with women. Some say that sports in teenage years is a cure-all pill. In my experience, it doesn’t really work like that. Interacting with women is a separate skill that is weakly correlated with the rest of social and other skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:54 AM
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In my opinion, having charisma is a cheat code. I suppose, guys are concentrated on things like looks, money, and gym, because they are manageable. Becoming charismatic seems unmanageable. Interacting with people doesn’t translate into pick up or approaching skills. I gained quite a lot of skills in my life, but it seems no one really knows how to develop charisma. I interacted with many people, but it didn’t translate into skills with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:25 AM
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Charisma helps, of course. The only thing I’d argue is that charisma can hardly be called a social skill. On a 10 point scale of social skills charisma is about 15. Saying charisma is a social skill is like saying teleportation is a developed running skill.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 10:08 AM
1

Congrats. I think, asking rp/bp is pointless. At least it was for me, because it’s necessary to specify what exactly person believes those things are. I noticed people often talk here past each other because they understand different things under rp. Often, you’ll see here a dialogue between a guy for whom rp is a set of rules like 80/20, and a woman, for whom rp is guys who want prohibit women to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:56 PM
2

Answering the question in your post: rp explained some details about female attraction I didn’t get growing up in bp environment. I found bp advice not working and struggled to reconcile reality with bp description of relationships. Responding to the rest of your post: why did you decide anyone who touched rp is miserable and ostracised? May it be I’m less miserable than you?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:40 PM
8

I think, dating stage is a sweet spot for men, especially if he sees more than one woman. If the relationship advances, there are increasing responsibilities and decreasing benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 11:13 PM
1

I agree that there are grifters, especially currently. But, at its origins pua and rp are just a collection of blogs and notes guys exchanged. I guess things of this type don’t just appear because of couple of grifters.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:25 PM
1

I think, what differs rp is the attempt to model how the attraction differs for two genders. Yep, everyone can say dress well and go to gym. But few sources describe how female attraction differs from male.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 05:09 PM
1

I think it depends on what you take from pua. To me it was quite helpful btw. Before getting into all that pua/rp stuff I was just rejected all the time. I read it and, I guess, got the concept. I was not repeating canned phrases, but I got the idea of what to do and realised this idea in the my way. Got a couple of relationships afterwards. I think without reading it I would be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 04:14 PM
1

Yep, it’s the first question to answer. Rp means different things for different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:46 PM
1

Don’t really agree on that, but I think it depends on what you understand rp is. I think rp has advantage in explaining how the whole thing works, that’s what you can’t really find anywhere. As for grifters, I found rp when it was a bunch of blogs, and there were no creators. I watched some recent YouTube channels out of curiosity, and I looked to me like a bunch of underdeveloped people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:45 PM
3

In my opinion it’s the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:38 PM
1

I’m interested if the thought that there may be something in rp crosses minds of people who come here to criticise it. After all, somehow some people find it relatable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 03:31 PM
1

For men, being hot makes a huge difference, so of course we’re think about it. For women, not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:49 PM
2

Hmmm, doubt it. Most men I know have/ had a relationship, but didn't have casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:46 PM
2

Hmmm, there is a part truth to it. I wouldn’t say guys without a type are that desperate and doing really poor. I think typically men are not just doing fantastically, so we don’t have enough choice to have a type. I guess, if I had like 5 women interested in me romantically or sexually at a time, I’d probably think “whom do I really like?”. But I think only three women were interested in me in my life, so why would I think about a type? I had a classmate in uni, who could approach girls basical…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:07 AM
1

I don’t. There are attractive women of any type.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 02:57 AM
2

Insanity. It’s the same as working class voting for the right. But the left doesn’t care about the working class, which is ridiculous by any other country’s standards. They created nafta, not republicans. I think the point of no return was Reagan and thatcher with their “let’s turn everything in a market”. Since then US politics makes little sense. The topic of the border is ridiculous for example. Ask any other country like China India Brazil if people can just cross their border and the answer…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 02:54 AM
1

We may, women often have so many misconceptions about men. Men have to initiate so they have to think and read about women. Women don’t, so their understanding of men is quite biased.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:23 AM
1

May be she had a revelation that changed her writing style and whole personality. Hopefully.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:17 AM
1

I noticed that in our school every group had the handsome guy whom every girl had a crush on. To be precise, our group had two such guys. I discussed it with several friends (male and female), and they say it was the same in their groups. Boys liked different girls, but for girls really liked only that handsome guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:12 AM
1

Ogling is a lie :(
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:04 AM
1

Sports gave me confidence and independence. But that confidence didn’t translate into romantic sphere. I think, teen romantic experience is quite important, especially for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 01:59 AM
1

Lilith?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 01:53 AM
1

Depends on what type of feminist.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:42 AM
3

Speaking of looks, it is still a mystery to me why women focus so much on them. I discussed it with women a couple of times and could not receive a reliable answer. On the one hand, women themselves say they meet guys they like quite rarely. If I met people I like rarely, I would dress up rarely. At the same time, I think women overestimate the importance of looks. Probably being nice is something pushed on women, it's hard for me to judge. Bending to the will of men and being helpful are two th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:56 AM
3

Interesting. What specifically do you think women constantly do to be liked by men?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:07 AM
3

You listed good things, which are components of a good relationship for people of both genders. I couldn't help but notice that your list doesn't include something about getting a man. It is quite illustrative because it assumes women aren't really worried about getting a man. Then women are surprised when they learn that men don't really have types, that they'd like to have sex every day, or that they don't typically sleep around with sexy models. BTW, that idea that men have types (just like w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:02 AM
3

I think feeling obligated is what I can’t relate to. I don’t feel obligated. It is like if my wife suggested me to play ping pong, and I don’t really want to. Not a big deal. May be it wouldn’t be fantastic, but it would be quite enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:52 AM
-1

Btw, had a couple of conversations here today. Thanks for being one of the few reasonable people here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:27 AM
4

If someone farts, they’re entitled to pollute the air and add to climate change. Got ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:26 AM
1

Yeah, I’m so hurt right now. Gonna eat a bucket of ice cream and cry. Why would you do this to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:24 AM
0

Well, I am ready to admit that I live in a bubble of people where I don’t see and women around me don’t experience it either. In my wide social circle I know only one woman who was physically assaulted. And I don’t know her personally, she’s friends of friends. Do you know what I see very frequently though? Men who are nervous from the idea of talking to women they like. I’d say the majority of guys I know are afraid of bothering a woman with their unwanted attention. It is probable I just live …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:20 AM
8

Honestly speaking, I reread your comments and struggle to find see your point at all. I gave you examples of very strange ideas women have about men. By the way those women were quite experienced in dating. I don’t know how you can say it is a better understanding of men. I don’t know how a better understanding is having little or no idea about other people wants, needs, general psychology. I struggle to understand what’s your idea of understanding is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:57 AM
4

I did write this and I haven’t changed my opinion yet. The problem I refer to is that “entitlement-seekers” appear under any post unrelated to entitlement and start spam this word there. Like a guy suggests to discuss women’s standards that he believes are too high. Entitlement-seekers appear under that post and say he’s entitled. It doesn’t follow from his question, it is not related to the topic, it’s boring to read over and over. Same stuff happens if the guy vents that women don’t like him a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:46 AM
13

This doesn’t mean women understand men better. Like, being electrocuted doesn’t make you an expert in electric networks. Your comment even supports my point of view. In your examples a woman thinks about things she dislikes about a certain men and his behavior, not what men in general (on average) like in a want from women. Can you think of something that makes women think about needs and wants of a guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:30 AM
8

Yeah, there are psycho lunatics. What do you want from me in that relation? If you don’t like them, go shout under their comments, not mine. About 50% of men say they aren’t pursuing women. Neither short- not long-term. I heard somewhere it’s GSS data. I know how it is to be a 16 year old boy who is horrified of speaking to his crush. I know many guys who carry this fear in adulthood. So I don’t believe in most men being entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:22 AM
2

Yes, absolutely. I find women of all ethnicities and types attractive: tiny Asian women, giant women from Netherlands, Scandinavian Valkyries, Amazonian warrior-looking Vietnamese, shy Japanese, bold Eastern Europeans, Italians with their light in the eyes, tall and strangely thin black women, arrogant Saudis.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:05 AM
13

I listed you some examples of women believing some strange myths about men. Just read again: a girl who dated before meeting me, dated me, and said men don’t feel pain from rejections. And examples like that are common. I suppose, women believe myths like that because they never have to think about how men work, what men like, what men want. The maximum women have to do is to say yes if they like a guy. I think I would know nothing about women if the day I became sixteen a girl a day would appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:56 AM
–

Haha, bastard chat. I asked it a similar question and it refused to answer. As for men, I think financial position and physical attractiveness are valid. I don’t like the phrasing though. It’s not that “men feel pressured”, those are real problems imo. Dating dynamics is a valid thing too imo. Without a general standard it is difficult to appear not too disinterested and not too pushy. As for women, I think women don’t have problems with “regular” dating. Safety and objectification are real prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:46 AM
17

Nonono, seriously doubt it. Men have to be the initiators, so they have to think about women. They need to think what women like in men to become an attractive mate. They need to learn the courting process. They need to do things women like to be liked back. Thats why all those books exist: how to talk to women, what women like in men, how to text, how to flirt, body language. Hell, pua and red pill exist for this reason. I recently asked in the daily chat what women read about dating. Not many …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:34 AM
7

I think, the whole talk about entitlement is often kind of a witch hunt. I mean, first you get confident that men are entitled, then you see entitlement everywhere. Kinda like “he breathes -> men need to breathe to have sex -> he is entitled to sex”. Take delusion for example. I know a couple of women who are in top 10-5% of earners. They want men who earn more. On top of that, they want them to be handsome, in shape, and having interesting hobbies. I have no interest in those women. I know it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:24 AM
30

Absolutely. One of my constant takes is that women don’t really know and understand men. Instead they operate with some “common wisdoms” they heard somewhere. I think, women would benefit from reading something about male psychology.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:06 AM
0

Mhm. The arrogance of some westerners surprised me. The life standard of Indian, Chinese, Russian, Thailand middle class may be much higher than that in UK, Germany, or US. Take Germany for example. Dysfunctional train system. Paper money. Paper post. You wait a few weeks for a doctors appointment and they may recommend you homeopathy. Kafkian bureaucracy. Insane taxes. Don’t get me wrong, freedoms are a very pleasant things to have. But in terms of living standards… what exactly are so-called h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:03 AM
2

I like this point. Developed nations are not THAT more developed. The gap was much wider in the 90s. But currently many developing nations get a lot of things done much better than so-called developed ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 12:32 AM
1

I don’t know if men cannot notice interest from women or if most men are not generally interesting to women. I have quite contradictory experiences. On the one hand, I noticed interest from a woman two-four times in my life. On the other hands, when I noticed it was very clear she was interested. They didn’t tell explicitly, but it was obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:15 PM
1

I gravitate to college-educated professionals, but other than that no particular type.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:11 PM
2

Hmmm, 4/10 probably.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 02:04 AM
2

Never understood it tbh. If I jerk off before a date, it means there is a chance I won’t perform if sex happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 02:03 AM
1

Haha, I knew you’ll ask something like that. No, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:52 AM
2

QFW: would you like to know anything about dating from the male POV?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:50 AM
2

Woke up in horror. It felt like they were inviting me to fly to "them".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:48 AM
2

I guess they can't.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:45 AM
1

It's only a 1:4 ratio, not 1:400. It works like this: during a month, four women hooked up with a guy once. The guy hooked up with four women during that month. Nothing crazy, it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:43 AM
1

I read that post, and honestly, I cannot relate much. I cannot answer to every point, but there are some that I reacted to. Healthcare: Can it be possible medications are more suitable for men, because men are more likely to be test subjects? Doctors believing men: It's a myth. I've been misdiagnosed or neglected three times in the last two years. It's a problem with the medical system. Furniture: I have non-average body proportions, and I need adjustable tables and chairs to feel comfortable. P…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:34 AM
1

Had a similar one but with people who passed.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 12:34 AM
1

I suspected that. But is it like nothing at all? Or would you say it is random, like this woman read this book/blog and that woman read that book/blog?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 11:55 AM
2

What are the main sources of dating advice for women? What do women read about dating? Do many women read something at all or do they just follow conventional wisdoms?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 10:53 AM
1

Hmmm, it’s hard for me to agree that average man and an average woman have equal chances of finding a relationship, because women can get more dates. And usually you need dates to start a relationship. Depends on definition of “doomed”. I think the nuanced definition of 80/20 is correct and I think that an average man is rather doomed. This definition means that women can have hook ups, holiday flings, fwbs, and whatnot. For men it means that you have to work building up yourself, and may you’ll…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 02:25 AM
2

They definitely think most men are unattractive. Ask a woman how often she meets a guy she’d go on a date with. I asked a couple of women, they said like once a month probably. Guys frequently say they meet 10-20 women they like a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 02:02 AM
2

I can’t really accept this argument about hinge. It doesn’t seem to me that the limit on swipes reveals true preferences of men. I suppose, it just biases them: men really like 50 women out of 100, but they tend to message the top ones if there is a limitation on likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:56 AM
1

What you call “right in a way” is what 80/20 really means. Top guys have an insane amount of options for a man. At the same time, they have as many options as an average woman. It means that in order to have dating life comparable to a usual woman’s, the man must be exceptional. It is the reason men discuss 80/20 at all. The interpretation of 80/20 as “80% of men will never have find anyone” comes from the critics of red pill, who strawman the concept. First, they dumb it down and strip of all t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:49 AM
2

It’s funny how empty it’s under your post. All these critics don’t appear here with their stories about an old blogpost.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 01:36 AM
2

Why though? Everyone understands why a guy approaches, but you want him to pretend.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 01:03 AM
6

Mmm, sharing company and thoughts is good though, but communicating in romantic or sexual context is a different skill. I asked out several girls with whom I seemingly had an intellectual connection, and it didn’t work out. One of them dated a jock, still kinda hurts. At a certain moment I understood that connection is good, but you have to have looks, game, status and money to compete successfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:50 AM
2

Still doesn’t resolve this low budget paradox for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:44 AM
3

45-ish. Everywhere: high school, college, on the street, bars, malls, college parties. I had two LTRs later, but I didn’t approach them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:43 AM
2

Well, it's difficult, involves a bit of mind reading.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:31 AM
1

That was always interesting for me. If a guy approaches with his dick, it's awful. But if he pretends to care about her brain, then it's alright. He knows he approaches with his dick, she knows he approaches with his dick, he knows she knows, she knows he knows she knows, but there is a need to pretend. Strange enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:30 AM
5

It's not the issue of just talking to women. The problem is talking to women in a romantic context. I agree with Aafan that it's one of the biggest problems for men. It is connected to a degree with the problem that men rarely experience interest from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:26 AM
3

Bingo, not knowing how to approach is a major thing. When people talk about men hesitant to approach, they often concentrate on the fear of rejection, but almost never discuss that the major reason may be that men do not really know how to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:21 AM
4

I did approach when I was young. Before I started actively approaching, I thought it was not probably the best idea for me. But I did it anyway, because I read some books and blogs that encouraged approaching. Turned out, it really was not the best idea for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:18 AM
3

When I was in high school, I approached two girls. The rejections discouraged me from approaching for a couple more years. During that period, no one showed interest in me. I decided that it may happen because I don't approach like other dudes do. So, I read some books and blogs and started approaching actively. After the 45th rejection, I stopped. A couple of years later, I met a girl who showed clear interest in me, and we dated for a couple of years. Then, I met another girl who showed clear …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 12:14 AM
7

I think if tomorrow men started liking only Victoria Secret models and would be "meh" about ordinary women, women would wonder if everything is okay with men's standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 01:16 AM
0

One of the best comments I've seen here in a long time. So, strong social policies, unionization, ban on off-shoring, and, consequently restrictions on the movement of capital. Higher taxation of profits as well. Unfortunately, it's not very realistic given the current state of affairs. However, this solves only the problems of family creation. According to your source, if resources do not play a huge role in reproduction choice, there is inequality anyways. It means that income redistribution w…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 01:06 AM
1

Well, discussing the issue would be a nice start. Currently, there are little resources about dating for men. The mainstream media are concentrated on dating from a womans point of view. I think, it would be particulary nice if women learned something about dating from the male point of view. I met quite a lot of women, who have a vague understanding of what dating is for men. Too many women I talked to imagined that men typically sleep around and then marry a woman who is extremely better than …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 12:57 AM
0

Also, people just like women more. For example, a story about a friend of my friends. She locked herself outside of her Airbnb in a foreign country. She walked around her block and found a group of exchange students. She hanged out with them for several hours while waiting for the host to open the apartment. They shared some food and booze with her - she locked her purse inside the apartment too. No way I can imagine I could walk into a random group of people, they’d hang out with me and share s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 01:57 AM
1

I guess a bit of both. In my personal experience, I’ve never felt that isolated, but I read that many guys are, so it seems there is some truth to it. As for romantic loneliness, I experienced it and saw a lot of guys experiencing it. I think the problem with romantic loneliness is quite obvious. I’d like to add one type of loneliness that is male-specific in my opinion. It’s having people around you but being unable to be open with them. It feels to me sometimes that men are not allowed to have…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 01:52 AM
2

It would be nice if women had to initiate. It would make sense because they like a small proportion of men. If women initiated, they’d receive no unwanted approaches and men would be rejected less frequently. Seems like a win-win for both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 06:50 PM
3

There is a partial truth to this statement. I guess, not all career women are dominant, but most dominant women are career oriented. When guys say something like the thing in your post, they pretty much equate the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 09:15 AM
–

As always, it’s quite nuanced. Sometimes the man is really deaf. Sometimes the woman doesn’t communicate well. Like, they’d say something like “I’d be nice if the laundry was done”. No shit, it’d be nice, yeah. Generally, normal, open, and friendly communication works the best. Being together against a problem is a better approach than being against each other. On the topic of divorces and break ups, I think some women have an expectation that they’ll meet a man who’ll be primarily concerned wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:27 PM
–

At least from time to time I meet a woman here who doesn’t post basically “men bad”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 11:00 PM
1

Generally, because men are socialised to suppress their emotions and needs. In interactions with women specifically, men for the most part have to conceal their attraction and appear disinterested because somehow women like it. Imagine a person who hasn’t freely expressed their emotions since 10 years old and doesn’t express their romantic feelings. Can’t you imagine this person being avoidant in relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 05:36 PM
6

Avoidant attachment in men isn’t weird. It’s pretty much clear why it exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 11:28 AM
1

It’s difficult for me to say what really happens when women get into relationships with those men. So, you’re probably right. I could see the initial approach stage only. It became clear for me that if you’re not a good-looking, high status (in a given environment), rich (in that environment), and charismatic, then there is really no point in “just approach her”. In knew a guy in uni who was quite popular among girls. He drove his Audi to classes, could spend $200-300 on a night out, was quite g…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 09:28 AM
3

I’d say high standards are high, because women don’t like their own equivalents. When I was in high school and college, who dated around? Girls and good-looking, charismatic guys from rich families. Girls were not that excited about ordinary dudes who just came to the uni to study and didn’t have much going in their life because they were on a low budget. I’ve seen those popular guys approaching with no problem. At the same time, ordinary guys I knew rarely if ever had a girl interested in them.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:34 AM
1

Okay, let’s compare. You: addicted in your 20s, struggled with finishing school, entry level job in marketing in your late 20s. You were able to date some guys, and even made children with someone. My friend: finished a top-3 uni in the country at 21, masters at a top-3 uni at 22, two years of entry level professional work, then a managerial position at one of the largest national companies, then almost an executive position in a mid-sized company. He lost virginity with a professional at 26.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 12:28 AM
1

Mhm. You see, the whole thing is quite confusing to many guys, especially young and inexperienced. There is a real risk of making the woman feel uncomfortable, so guys behave over conservatively. Also, many men are less experienced in dating than women. Also, if you’re not popular as a man, you get used to concealing your attraction to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 01:40 AM
1

Looks are important. Looks are not that important. How do they contradict each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 03:43 AM
–

It seems to me women can actually do what they want in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 03:42 AM
1

Yep, they can really compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 03:17 AM
–

I think it boils down to the expectation that men do everything “just right”. You shouldn’t be too available, but don’t be unavailable. You should show interest, but don’t show too much interest. You should show you like her appearance, but don’t show you like her appearance. You shouldn’t lean for a kiss too early, but don’t do it too late. Women often expect that a man does everything to a right degree. In short, I think women expect too much of a mind reading. Of course, if you say this stuff…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 01:41 PM
2

Does it? How? What’s so masculine for a guy about basically asking someone if they like him?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:08 AM
1

Depends on the perspective. It can be equally true that women can’t approach men.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:06 AM
1

But there is a risk to be used for sex even if guys approach. So I don’t really see the connection. Also, the whole concept of “being used” seems quite strange for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 03:04 AM
1

Where did you get it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:54 AM
3

A mystery that is still unsolved for me is why are men expected to approach? The rejection rate is quite high, which is not pleasant for most men and many women. The woman may feel uncomfortable or offended. The approach must not be too lame or too intensive. Consider what approaching would be if women initiated. Rejections would happen less often. No one would be offended. No need to select words - everything would work from embarrassed “Y-y-y-ou know, I k-k-kinda like you” to “Dude, let’s go f…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:53 AM
1

What’s this table?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:43 AM
3

I think, this misunderstanding happens because women tend to assume dating is the same for men and women. But there are some differences that make it very different. I noticed, women often think that a chance of approach success for a man is the same as for a woman. I'd say if a woman approaches, her chance of success is something like 50-80%. Men are rejected much more frequently. So, if a guy approaches only women he super-mega-giga likes, he may stay single for a long time. Also, I think wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:20 AM
1

Reasonable first two paragraphs, and a very strange conclusion in the third one. You say that looks are not important after basically saying that they are important.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:01 AM
1

May be it looks like that from a perspecitve of a woman. I think, it's quite an exaggaration. Proportion of women whom men like is just higher than proportion of men whom women like. Like, a man would like 50 out of 100 random women, while a woman would like 5 out of 100. Maybe it looks like no standards but there a some standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:51 AM
2

Sex is not reserved for only attractive people. But, ordinary guys usually have it in relationships, while the most good-looking guys have casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:46 AM
5

I think standards are higher for casual sex. In my experience normal guys get into relationships from time to time. Casual sex happens to a minority of guys, who are good-looking, tall, and relatively rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:42 AM
2

I'd argue that the standards for casual are higher. In my experience, all sorts of guys are able to get a relationship. Casual sex is reserved for a minority of guys. Typically, model looking, tall, shredded, relatively rich guys. There are many things that are disappointing about not having casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:35 AM
5

In my opinion, standards are higher for casual. Source: I knew some men. In every environment, your average guy goes on dates, tries to impress a woman, and gets into relationships. What type of guys regularly has casual sex? Model looks, tall, shredded, rich relatively to his environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 01:19 AM
0

I think it raises an interesting topic. I noticed many (especially young) women have quite a biased perception of men. It seems to me those women are still mentally in the 1950s where women may earn some insignificant amount, but men earn some real money. Being mentally in the 50s, they assume that their 60-90k annually is still me kind of “pocket money”, while there are lots of men earning the real income. It seems they don’t realise they have outcompeted quite a lot of people, and that men the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 01:54 AM
2

Of course they do, why even ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 12:39 PM
1

I don’t know the exact reason, but my friends are always male. Somehow, friendships with women don’t grow organically.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 01:21 AM
1

I don’t feel like I’m missing something by being friends primarily with men. Just noticed this pattern and wondered why. It seems like friendships with women don’t happen to me organically. Probably, having more female friends would have helped me with dating, but it is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:56 AM
1

Yep, but I noticed some people form mixed sex groups. It seems that some people are organically more predisposed to same-sex socialization.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:53 AM
2

I guess it’s not bad for him. I have a feeling that you need to be “entertaining” to talk to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:51 AM
1

I mean my interaction with women is limited to discussing the content of the courses. Things like how to solve that problem or what that method does. It’s not like we talk about anime and football with guys. We talk about our impressions from the course, how it may help us in our careers and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:50 AM
1

With guys we discuss stuff related to classes. Things like why we applied for the courses, what we expect, how it’s going to change our careers. Same interests as women there have.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 11:20 PM
3

On the topic of having female friends as a man. I never had female friends. It is not some kind of a problem for me, but I just noticed this pattern in my life after reading some Reddit. Recently I went for some professional education courses. I interact similarly with men and women in the classes. But I hangout with guys in between and after classes, and have conversations unrelated to classes. With women all the interaction happens strictly in the classes. I don’t know why. It seems that as a …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 11:13 PM
–

I’m not sure about this term. To me, it sounds like some people just discovered they may like someone, and invented a special word for it. It seems like in this cynical age just likening someone must be labeled a psychoanalytical term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 11:59 PM
7

Well, I mean for women it is like “like the guy” -> “get the guy”. No skill required.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 01:28 PM
1

It is an excuse imo. It is possible to express some high-level, but not primitive ideas in a reddit post. Also, you know, people talk on reddit, have dialogues and create different posts, so you are not limited to expressing all the truth about the world in one comment. Like I wrote about dividing things you learn into concepts facts, and procedures and using different approaches to them. It is already better than "go to classes dude", as I at least don't assume I talk to a person who is stupid …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 01:05 PM
1

Yes, what surprises you about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:05 AM
2

I heard about a study that measured increase in romantic feelings because of common experiences. It was much higher in men. The researchers sent a guy and a girl to a scenic place and asked them about feelings about each other when they returned. There was an increase in romantic interest in guys, while in girls there was no effect. So, in men interest grows if a woman is simply around him. Doesn’t seem to happen to women. In their case if it is no, it is a no.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 11:03 AM
2

Compared to women, we have very low standards. Of course, I’m not excited about a female hobo I see on the street. But I found many women I liked in almost every place I’ve been to. In college, hobby classes, at work, I could see many women attractive to me. Women aren’t like that. They aren’t that attracted to a typical guy from their environment. Like, when I was in college I felt okay about dating another student who just did the studying stuff. Girls were attracted and were dating guys who h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 10:58 AM
16

Couple of ideas about it. Attracting women is partly a question of skill for men. If a man likes a woman, he has to do something about it. So, being good (or bad) in interactions with women adds(or decreases) self esteem just like any other skill does. On top of that, men are expected to be proficient in it by default, which adds to self esteem issues. Imagine you’re expected to be a skilled electrician because you’re a woman. “What? You’re a grown woman and don’t know how to connect high voltag…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 10:45 AM
4

I think, taking into account most out-of-the ordinary things (like abuse), men are worse. But women treat men worse in ordinary daily interactions. What’s worse, women don’t really understand men and do not want to. For example, take rejections. Often, women have the point of view that rejections are no big deal for a man. When I asked why they think so, they say “Cause they are men”. Women would say they’d feel ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed if they were rejected. But apparently men don…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 12:08 PM
1

Well, there is a lot to unpack, but this thing about doing better in school really engaged me. Yes, I'd say this advice is so lame I wouldn't even consider it a piece of advice. Here is my advice on being better in school: At the beginning of every module, make or find a map that lists all the topics covered in it. It's not a bad idea to print it and track your progress. When taking notes, divide the things you study into three groups: concepts (things you need to understand deeply), facts (thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 01:08 AM
2

Because it is a major failure in a significant area of life. The same way people regret about an unhappy childhood or a failed career. Are you so perfectly rational nothing ever bothers you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 12:25 AM
4

Your first paragraphs come from some strange fear of men who want to make women sleep with everyone. It’s a common boogeyman on this sub, and mostly women repeat it. For gods sake, most young men feel nervous about talking to a woman they like. 50% of young men responded to a poll that they have never approached a girl. And you tell this fairy tale that men want to somehow oppress women. Why do all these discussions, like this sub, exist? Because no one can give a definite answer to a simple que…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 02:00 PM
2

I am interested why so many women insist on ordinary men staying in their line. To be honest it all sounds like “Be happy you get what you get. All the fun is reserved for exceptional men, but you guys must work, so maybe once a woman will pay attention to you”. You don’t like when men complain about women’s standards, but are ready to tell that men need to lower theirs. Like, you women could simply tell what a man needs to do to become the man you women really like. Nope, you need to tell men t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:52 AM
4

Why talk about them? OP raised the topic of attractiveness standards. Attractive men are popular, have casual sex, fwb, holiday flings, and pick up girls here and there. By coincidence, they happen to somewhat match that 6-6-6 standard. Like, dating three women over their lifetime and marrying one of them is what unattractive men do. You mentioned men in their 30s and 40s. I’d pay attention to people in their 20s. It’s where all the dating happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:41 AM
9

No, it’s about women specifically. They are quite achieved professionals, are in relationships/married, buy properties and what not. But if you have a frank conversation, it still bothers them that in their early 20s they were not guys who were able to pick up a girl at a bar
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:06 AM
13

The ones satisfied with their dating history? Pretty much yes, tall, handsome, from rich families. Don’t know about their inches though, and don’t want to. Most men I know feel they’re kinda losers in interactions with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:16 AM
16

I know many couples, but I know few men who were satisfied with their dating history.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 11:22 PM
2

I think, there are three sources of both: influence of family, media, or culture. For example, the belief that men are oppressive oppressors comes from this source primarily. Personal experience. Things like abuse and cheating. Lack of knowledge about the other sex. For example, the idea that “men just need to get off” or not believing that periods may cause severe pain. The three things are pretty much intertwined. I think there are also sources that form specifically misogyny or misandry. It l…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 12:58 AM
30

Men bottle up their problems and feelings because no one really gives a fuck. Since early teens, people generally just criticise you for not solving your problems. By the way, women have all these networks because people are more open to including women into said networks.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 03:21 AM
1

You can, everyone can’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:07 AM
1

Six packs, probably. As for jobs, everyone can’t have a good job.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:04 AM
1

Maybe, I’m not an expert. I see the problem with the intended effect. Together with side effects you get the main intended effect. It’s probable you don’t need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:00 AM
1

It’s a possible outcome. Well, it does make men responsible, but it is an option imo. As for #3, I don’t think it is because of feminism. As I understand, in the past it was like: invitation for a date -> first dates -> more dates -> talking to each others friends and family. Don’t know where sex fits here tbh. Currently it may be a date, a hookup, situationship, fwb, all that stuff. Must be confusing for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:59 AM
2

I think, ssri without anti-depressive effects would work. I don’t think it’s a good idea to take drugs for their side effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:53 AM
3

The thing is, falling in love for no reason is the privilege of most women and very attractive men. Do you think guys who read pua and rp just choose it as an alternative to just having happy relationships? Like, do you think they select to read all that stuff, while their alternative option would be a date with a woman they like? So, this is how it works (approximately of course). You’re a guy in your late teens. You have a crush on a girl. You were taught girls like when guys really love them …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:52 AM
5

Saw a thread that asked for solutions for dating. I was too late, so no one will respond to my comment. I believe the daily chat will generate some replies. Some relatively realistic ideas: 1) Have some kind of classes for men on dating and courting. I think, many young guys just don’t have an idea of what to do if they like a woman. One of dating researchers said that we had a wrong understanding of young men. We thought they would constantly approach or even harass women. It isn’t true, guys d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:34 AM
4

Ok, couple of realistic ideas: 1) Have some kind of classes for men on dating and courting. I think, many young guys just don’t have an idea of what to do if they like a woman. One of dating researchers said that we had a wrong understanding of young men. We thought they would constantly approach or even harass women. It isn’t true, guys do nothing if they aren’t motivated and don’t know what to do. 2) Change the way we raise boys. A post on this sub specified attractive male qualities as confid…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:27 AM
2

It may be faster for a guy one-two times in his life, but it's not very frequent. I say. See, if there was a masculinism movement, I'd complain you're womansplaining :) I think, it may look from the outside like men constantly approach women, have flings and what not. In my experience, most men barely get attention from women, while a small minority swims in it. It was my experience in school, university, at workplace and basically anywhere. A typical situation is that most guys hope that they w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 10:45 AM
1

Sounds like civilization = effeminate. So, WWI and WWII, because everyone went to war? And prehistory because of living in nature? Sorry, I don't know what the "work in the elements" means.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:59 AM
5

What problem do you have with this narrative? I tend to trust it because it is comprehensive, supported with data, and matches my experience and my conversations with people about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:52 AM
6

It kinda works like that: a guy is rejected by many women -> he thinks all women don't like him -> this specific woman is the same. "Also, younger women would have probably rejected your younger self as well" - that is the whole cause of the problem. I can suppose that the feeling of rejection and being unwanted is not something women can really relate to, so the situation looks strange for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 09:47 AM
5

There are such women, I know a couple. Why should it really matter? They are not typical.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:35 AM
1

I think the problem is you need to go to red pill or a sub like this to see it explicitly stated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:11 AM
6

Mmm, probably I explained poorly. Imagine you’re a guy around 30. A woman of your age shows interest in you. You look at her and understand a woman like her would reject you 8-10 years ago. You think that while you were alone and desperate for attention, she had flings, dates, and what not. So, you think “Where were you when I was young and alone?”. And you don’t really want to date her.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:09 AM
5

The question of the OP was why men are concerned. I gave my view on why. Why would men make assumptions about dating history of a woman he doesn’t know closely? Men aren’t blind and deaf, so they have some understanding of what dating is for a woman. I know some single women and my friends know some single women, so I can imagine what they do on the dating scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 02:04 AM
9

I suppose, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:59 AM
1

When was that back then when men were more masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:57 AM
7

Ahhh, make a post about it. I’m tired from people arguing against 80/20 because they saw a fat couple at a Walmart.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:54 AM
5

There is some explanation. A study compared attractiveness of two people in couples. They found that they were on the same level of attractiveness if they were not familiar to each other when they started dating. At the same time, attractiveness in a couple was different if people knew each other for 9 months before dating. It means that the way for not handsome men to get in a relationship is to be exposed to women and hope that one of them would like him eventually. So, not handsome men cannot…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:51 AM
6

Not exactly correct. The bottom 90% of men received more messages in total, simply because there are more of them. A more informative indicator is messages per week a man received. Top guys received like 5 a week, and the rest received almost zero per week.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:42 AM
17

Depends on how unlucky the guy was. If he was rejected a lot at his early 20s, and in his late 20s a woman shows interest in him, he may assume she would reject him when he was younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 07:47 PM
50

Men who have a problem with promiscuity were not allowed in the promiscuity club. An analogy for you to explain how it feels like. Imagine you study at a college and you’re in a stable group of peers. They don’t want to talk to you at all. You’re ignored when you start a conversation with them. Then, couple of years after your graduation, these people reach out to you and say they’d really like to hangout with you, but you need to rent a place and pay for the drinks. You’d probably have little d…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:54 PM
5

The problem I see is that the cluster of attractive qualities isn’t really communicated to men. It’s rarely mentioned even. If you look at the comments even on this sub, women struggle with formulating it clearly. You are in a quite small minority. The dead-end conversation constantly happens here, where men say that women are not really attracted to good character, while women try to prove they are and their opponents are morally awful. In a sense, you repeat what rp says about chads behavioura…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:20 PM
3

Nah, hookups aren’t really connected to some sense of manhood. In a sense, hookups are a measure of being desired. Women have a lot of choice, so if a guy is selected for hookups, he’s attractive. In general, men don’t have much opportunity for hookups, so if you’re allowed into the hookup club, then you’re more attractive than those men who aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 02:06 AM
2

I think it’s quite typical for boys to not have female friends. In my class, there were several groups of people. The mixed groups of boys and girls existed around attractive guys. In order to have a female friend, a guy needed to be attractive or a friend of an attractive guy. I have a theory about your mother’s confusion. I think, people often suppose that a normal guy (not a total failure in some areas of life) has no problems socialising with women. In my opinion, having problems is the defa…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 11:03 AM
1

The thing about the real connection is that once you meet a person and you feel it’s your fate to be with them. That person may not necessarily match all the checkboxes you have in your head. I know a friend of a friend, who was in complicated relationships with a married man. I think he matched all the requirements women may have. But then she met an ordinary guy and they’ve been together since.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 10:37 AM
2

I can’t believe someone can be that determined to waste time pointlessly arguing with people. A more realistic scenario would be that there are 5-10 people paid by someone, and each of them works like 1-2 hours a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 01:08 AM
3

Well, dating is a huge contradictory minefield for neurotypical men too. I can only imagine what it is for guys with autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:56 AM
1

I suppose a group of people works on the account called Lilith.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:52 AM
26

To be fair, I’ve seen a similar dialogue countless times here: Guy: Women say they like men with good personality, but actually date Chad even if he has bad personality. Woman: Nooooo, we really like good men. You don’t get any women because you’re the real asshole, misogynist, abuser, you cannot treat women as people and want a bangmaid!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:42 AM
–

In my opinion, people who are successful, don’t understand the nuance. They simply have never thought about it. If a guy just goes to girls, asks them on a date, and they agree, it’s really simple for him. He’ll say “just ask her on a date and that’s it”. If it doesn’t work for you, you’ll start to think about nuances. One of my friend rehabilitated from a serious illness. He told me “you guys don’t know how difficult walking actually is”. I bet he has a more nuanced understanding of walking tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:26 AM
–

For me, some rp concepts are useful to understand the other sex. We humans are not well-equipped to understand what happens in the mind of a person of the opposite sex. Yeah, generally everyone gets the idea of what attractive qualities are. But if you want to explain specifics, it’s not enough. Why are guys successful with women quite rare? What qualities do make a man do well with women? When people discuss these things, you find that there are different understandings and definitions of terms…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:17 AM
1

I wonder how many guys struggle with this part.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 12:00 AM
–

Very thoughtful response. You most likely have little idea of messages boys get about girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 10:22 PM
4

Yep, I think people often perceive things said online as coming from a single person called “online”. There are many men with different viewpoints, not one man with contradictory views.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:46 AM
1

Exactly what I thought after hearing about that study. What a shitty life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 11:39 AM
1

Or vice versa - attractiveness is a way to set yourself apart from women on the same personality level.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:38 AM
1

May be, but I’m too sleepy now to connect these two things.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:37 AM
1

I think, virtues of a person don’t depend on the way he/she chooses a partner. It may be a decent guy. Just like the guy who selects a woman because of other reasons, isn’t necessarily a good choice himself. In addition, scarcity is a reality for many guys I believe. I don’t really know a lot of men who had a lot of women to select from.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:34 AM
1

Well, yep, I guess demonstrating personality is actually more important than looks for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:27 AM
1

I don’t know then. I bet women don’t really dress in burkas, pikachu costumes, or military uniforms “for themselves”. I guess it’s usually something attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:26 AM
1

Ohhh, that’s a separate big topic to discuss.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:24 AM
1

Haha, yes, all covered in Cheetos crumbs and Mountain Dew spills. Inexpensive pants and shirt/t-shirt. Decent shoes/sneakers though, because of comfort for feet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:17 AM
1

Yep, a bit inattentive from me. You advanced my analogy with “women you like are interested in a certain type of men”. I meant that a correct analogy would be “I’m like a small proportion of women, and they are interested in all sorts of men”. In my experience, a significant portion of women spends enormous efforts on appearance every day. I guess, if you want a personality connection, you’d better begin with personality than appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:13 AM
1

No, I dress formal because dress code is formal, that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:06 AM
1

Ah, don’t nitpick, you get the concept. If you don’t really want men, why be attractive to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 02:05 AM
1

I don’t get why be attractive to men if you don’t really need these men? As for fun, I guess it comes from recreation of a moment when the woman was desired for her appearance. No wonder I as a man have difficulties imagining it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:59 AM
1

Well, in my opinion a woman doesn’t need to change herself much to get an attention from a man. Willingness is like half of the attractiveness of a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:57 AM
1

I think, the joy of dressing “for herself” comes from recreating moments when the woman was desired. Probably it is an unknown thing for a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:56 AM
1

I think I’d put effort into appearance only before an event at which I can meet such a woman. I’d certainly wouldn’t pay attention to my appearance daily. Also, if I wanted a personal connection (which women often claim to want), I’d wear simple clothes so that my appearance wouldn’t get in the way of personality connection. Also, your analogy doesn’t really work. Men like all sorts of women, so there is no need for women to become a type of a woman men want.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:54 AM
5

Why do women put so much effort in appearance? I guess the consensus is women like a small proportion of men and have no interest even if see a handsome man. If I was interested in a very small proportion of women (and their personality was the primary thing I cared about), I’d wear only baggy hoodies. Just can’t wrap my head around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:37 AM
2

Yes, guilty of it. I repent, I repent. Yesterday no one replied, so I threw it in the chat again.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 01:26 AM
6

Listened to a podcast and heard about interesting study. So, the attractiveness of two people in a couple was similar if they started dating shortly after meeting each other. If they knew each other for longer than 9 months, there was more difference in attractiveness levels. I guess that answers some questions I had regarding dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 12:38 AM
2

They got in touch with reality. Problem is, the response of reality was different for them. It’s a natural reaction to get more information if you encounter a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 06:25 PM
2

People who don’t have much choice have to compromise. They may complain about it, why not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:38 AM
2

I guess if you don’t have any success, you stop at a certain point. I mean if you ask 50 women on a date and not a single one agrees, it may be enough to discourage you. By the way, how many hundreds? I mean it makes a difference if you asked 200 or 900. Probably, you have to be extremely resilient. I think not many people are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:32 AM
2

That’s a separate problem. You told in your comment that men could easily avoid things. Why? How? No they are not easy to avoid. As for being the beggars choice, well a lot of women in fact are. I know that women think that their partners had a super interesting dating life before them, but it’s rarely true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:27 AM
2

Men don’t have much of a choice. Beggars can’t really be selective.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:22 AM
1

Don’t you think it’s depressive to be a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:17 AM
1

What makes women you know red pilled about men?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:16 AM
1

Mhm.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:11 AM
1

I think it relates to a problem I recently raised on this sub. When people read that a man has difficulties in dating, they are quick to assume the guy in question is some kind of a total failure. Like, he has no friends, no job, overweight, cannot even talk to a cashier, and so on. I agree with the top comment that interacting with a woman in a romantic sense is a separate social skill. In my experience, most guys are not naturally equipped with an ability to flirt. “Just develop social skills”…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:02 AM
1

Thanks. I guess there is this assumption that a normally developed man has no troubles flirting. That’s so wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 03:53 AM
1

A comprehensive description of how female attraction works would be nice. Kind of rp by a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 03:52 AM
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Listened to a podcast, and the speaker, a psychologist, told about one interesting study. He said that looks are similar in couples who didn’t know each other before starting dating. If two people knew each other before dating for 9 month, they more frequently had different level of looks. Which means that looks are important if you choose a partner right now. If you date a person you know, then looks aren’t that important in your decision. Well, it explains something. So, unattractive men can f…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 02:23 AM
2

Guess the reason people overthink dating? People they are attracted to don’t agree to go on dates with them. You said you went on 50-60 dates. Imagine you asked 50-60 women on a date, and no one agreed. You’d be overthinking dating too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 02:18 AM
1

I don’t object really.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 11:55 PM
7

Some people are unable to date based on their romantic feelings. So, they go online to figure out some things about themselves and the opposite sex to become able to date based on their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 07:01 PM
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Many things in discourse around men sound like the person who invented them has never talked to a man. Women in general have little good knowledge about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 03:24 PM
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Well, I had a reaction like “no, not exactly how men work” to the original post. While there are some truths, I cannot relate to that post. It reminded me how some people think that men want variety, because they participate in some competition for men. While it is true men prefer variety, it seems an artificial idea to explain it through male competitiveness. I have similar feeling about the original post. I guess the reversal shows that describing your preferences through some kind of a covert…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:57 PM
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Haha, it’s a simple gender reversal of your post. I guess the point is that motivations you prescribed to men are not their real motivations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:24 PM
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But does the same paragraph make sense if it’s about men?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:23 PM
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I think women don’t see it as insulting, because they don’t notice how they discriminate men. In the uni, I had a male classmate, with whom a new girl was “experimental” every week. Most of other guys I knew in college had practically or literally no luck. How should they feel when several years later women want them to wait? It feels like the message is “I was experimental with those guys, but you had to wait several years, and now you’ll have to wait a bit more”. I have an analogy. Imagine a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 02:22 PM
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When I reflect on this explanation, I cannot completely relate to it. Someone did a gender reversal version of your post in the comments, and there are some women telling that it’s not how women work. I have a similar reaction to your post - that’s not how men work. I heard a point of view that men like the idea of casual sex, because having many sexual partners signalizes that the man is high status and makes him more “manly” man. This sophisticated view is incorrect. I entertain the idea of ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:52 PM
2

In my opinion, a disparity between men and women. If your average woman wants to spend a night with a man, she’s able to hook up with a very good looking guy. If you don’t really understand why it is important, imagine a reversal world. In such world, an average guy can walk to a bar and pick up a model if he wants so. So, this leaves most men outside of the casual scene and creates an unequal dynamic in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 03:17 AM
5

I think you may make conclusions from your own comparison of messaging boys receive with messaging girls receive. Indeed, girls receive the message that they must have great looks. However, I’d argue that messaging boys receive is largely blue pill. Many pieces of mainstream advice are concerned with men’s emotional intellect, communication, respect and what not. Just to see advice about looks and career you must go to some kind of underground advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:33 AM
1

Dismissed? I said I see some problems with advising sport, but sport may be helpful in general. I think if someone has black and white thinking, it’s certainly not me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:47 PM
1

Black and white thinking? I think, a short recap wouldn’t be excessive. Your take: “Sport develops attractive qualities in boys”. My takes: 1) “Maybe, sport doesn’t always help boys”, 2) “Sport takes time he may spend on activities more significant for his future”, 3) “May something be wrong with general environment, if we need a special environment to develop certain important traits in boys?”. Well, if you think these takes are not nuanced, I don’t have much to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:15 PM
3

Just ask yourself how common sense is formed. Until to a certain point the common sense of these guys is “women like nice guys”.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 05:46 PM
1

When I say that sport is not a guarantee, I don't say it to refute the idea of being into sport. I mean, it may not be a solution in some (many?) cases., so I wouldn't stop at "sport is the answer". I see a problem with this particular trade-off. In my experience, the most professionally successful people were schooled in their professional subjects more extensively than others. So, that trade-off exists for me, and I don't like it. You can put your kid in either an activity that will help him d…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:54 PM
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Do whatever you’re comfortable with. I think I’d like to have many partners when I was single, but the idea of being in open committed relationships feels weird to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:01 PM
1

Sports may help. But there are some problems with sports. First, the effect isn’t guaranteed. I participated in some sports and it helped with general confidence, but it didn’t transfer to interactions with girls. Second, depends on how successful the boy is in sport. It he has no talent for sport, he’ll get an environment where everyone dislikes him. However, sports may be helpful in general. Finally, if a boy spends time on sports, his potential success is decreased. For example, I went to spo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:49 PM
6

People who fight against nice guys (like you) read the situation incorrectly and assume some kind of a person that barely exists. The thing is, many young men get an idea that women like nice guys. It’s difficult to say why specifically, I guess it is a combination of factors. I think one of the factors is that women say they like “kind, fun, and safe” men when asked what type of men they like. Then, they see women actually like other qualities, which leaves them puzzled. Talking about some tran…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:26 PM
2

I guess an interesting sub-topic would be to discuss if those attractive traits are encouraged or rewarded. I think, these common understanding is that a boy will grow up having those traits. So, parents and education professionals want to indoctrinate all the “good” qualities. So what often happens is that a boy with high neuroticism and agreeableness becomes even more neurotic and agreeable. No one cares to cultivate those attractive qualities. Moreover, they are excluded from mainstream disco…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:47 PM
1

What are those progressive explanations? Is it saying that men are emotionally immature, toxically masculine, and similar?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 08:40 PM
34

Yes, they would want it, why not? I can draw an analogy with communication. Imagine you’re in a group of people like a college class. Not a single person wants to talk to you, but they constantly hang out together . Then, a couple of years later one person from this crowd says he or she would like to hang out with you. You’d most likely say “where have you been all that time? Nope”. A similar thing happens with men excluded from casual sex and dating. You say “Would you want the hot girls to sle…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 12:27 PM
1

Nice to be them I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 12:17 PM
2

Getting abundance of women is like getting abundance of money. Nice to dream about, but tough in practice. If you could just “get abundance”, everyone would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 12:00 PM
4

I wouldn’t say it’s the whole point. As I understand it, a guy should not demonstrate scarcity mindset is unattractive to women. Kinda, if you got your first date in two years, you must not show it and behave like spent last night with two hot models. It’s very difficult to get rid of scarcity mindset if scarcity is your experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 11:52 AM
6

Why do you think men have scarcity mindset? Because of scarcity. Nah, women have so much freedom in doing things they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 11:42 AM
1

I noticed that rp ideals are slowly moving to mainstream. There are many indicators. Ppd dialogues changed from “looks are not important” to “only autists don’t know looks matter”. Recently I saw an article in a cheap newspaper. It was written by a woman who wrote a book which argues against sexual revolution. She openly writes about hypergamy and high inequality of outcomes for men (she wrote one her male friends had 7 likes in total, and he second one had 21,000). It’s interesting what dating …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 11:15 AM
1

Absolutely. My guess is ridiculing comes from that assumption that all normal men constantly sleep around. I wonder what makes people have this obviously incorrect assumption in mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 11:02 AM
3

For guys it was: Entry level gangsters Handsome kids Rich kids The rest Weak, small, quiet kids
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 10:19 AM
6

Women have so much power in relationships and sex. It’s kinda depressing to be a man. If I could select the gender of my future child, I’d select female.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 10:04 AM
1

Don’t see how it would happen. Also, what do you mean by less easy? What is “less easy” in practice?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:11 AM
1

Well, I’ve seen this statement countless times here. Many women think that they don’t like many men because men are generally awful, and not because they themselves are picky. It’s rare to see a woman who’d admit she’s actually picky. As for the rest, I’d say we don’t usually choose whom we like. Don’t women fall in unreciprocated love too? I guess it happens to men more often because they like many women while women like few men. Also, because a woman has to just like a guy to get him typically…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 02:09 AM
2

I benefited from pua and red pill, welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:52 AM
1

An article posted on menslib was one of the things that motivated me to write this post. It was about lack of dating discussions aimed at men in mainstream media. I suppose the reason is that same assumption that an average man has it perfect with women. So, it forces discussions about dating underground. A side effect is that it creates a discourse biased towards women. I don’t like that argument about cheat codes. As a man, you have to initiate things. Many men do not know how to do it. If I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:50 AM
1

Nope, many upvotes are from men. There is a constant battle here where men say that women are too picky and have high standards, and women reply that all the men are just ugly and unkempt.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:30 AM
3

Thank you for phrasing it this way. Usually the same idea is phrased as “All the men around are bad/unattractive “.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:25 AM
2

I cannot say I had enough observations of that kind to conclude anything. I think, I noticed that certain women look for men they'll experience some problems with. They have an intention for it. I mean, they often find controlling, abusive, or cheating men. It seems their attitude is something "All men are bad, I select a bad man, no surprise he's bad because all of them are bad". You describe pretty sophisticated consequences for the women: they had a bad relationship with the father, so their …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 02:04 PM
5

My father was in the family, but did not participate in family life. Can you elaborate what patterns did you notice?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 10:39 PM
1

Late 20s
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 08:33 AM
1

It is an oversimplification that boys just go online and bad guys teach them bad things. You see the reason that boys find things like rp is quite easy. If a guy’s not particularly gifted, he encounters the problem of how to get girls. Mainstream advice is not the best thing. It invalidates their problem saying that normal guys don’t have problems with girls. Then, it offers poor explanation of women’s attraction and, consequently, poor advice. I started reading manosphere when I was about sixte…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:43 AM
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I think you misread what guys read. Are you concerned about the comments that women have too high standards? Imagine a world where men would be interested only in 10/10 models. Wouldn’t you tell them they are not particularly realistic?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 02:28 AM
1

I think it’s some kind of a niche thing that’s not interesting for me, that guy and practically anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 01:55 AM
1

It’s stating what you said previously, but in different words. You seem to know how dating for men is. How do you know that a regular guy has no problems attracting women? How do you know he only needs to try?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 09:30 PM
2

I’m interested how did you conclude that regular guys do not struggle with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 08:04 PM
1

I get it, but not in the case of dressing sexy and applying make up for yourself. For me dressing well is a means rather than a goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:36 PM
6

That sounds very alien to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 10:34 PM
3

Women generally don’t have a good understanding of men unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:39 PM
1

What did you expect men to reply?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:54 PM
2

Haha, not bad too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:21 PM
2

That’s nice it works for you but I cannot relate even the slightest. I understand looking good for someone, but for myself… it’s weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:13 PM
3

May be because women’s value is in what they are and men’s value is in what they do. If I dressed well and sit at home my first thought would be “why do you waste your time. Back to work!”. But even I myself feel it’s a lame hypothesis.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:09 PM
6

Yes. I guess if there was no women, guys would walk in something resembling military uniforms.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:03 PM
1

I never did that too. The only thought I may have about my biceps is “hope women will like it”.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:02 PM
8

I kinda understand what you mean but I don’t really get it. To me it sounds like “I like to tie and untie laces on my shoes without going out of my house”. I get that someone may enjoy it, but why?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 04:31 PM
7

No. It actually interests me why women do all this stuff even if they are not looking for a man. A woman may be in a dead bedroom situation and still do the nails, hair, and wear sexy clothing. I don’t get why one would put effort in appearance if they aren’t going to sleep with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 04:05 PM
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Fountain pen my friend
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:43 PM
3

Well, I don’t read it in his post. I see that he observes a pattern - women stuck in situationships. He found (probably wrong) explanation why - they are dating guys above their level. Many comments grouped together form a standard salad of points - he’s a loser with women, he’s entitled, he’s whining. Do you think it adds something to discussion? I wonder what the aim is of commenters like you. You basically go under posts here and say “you stoopid”. What’s the purpose?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:18 PM
3

These phrases about studies are not productive either.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:40 PM
1

Hmmm, sorry I don’t read that intonation there. May be it’s my reading comprehension, idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:15 PM
2

You’re missing the point imo. OP tries to understand behavior of women. I don’t see any begging in his post. If you want to give a substantial response, please offer an alternative explanation rather than blaming the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:04 PM
1

Meh, in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 02:02 PM
2

Charity is a good thing, but it can hardly be your personal project. I mean, an invention may be yours, a book may be yours, a business may be yours. Charity is a transfer from you to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:18 PM
1

Well, I mean if you are a delivery driver at Amazon and cannot do better, probably children may be the project of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:02 PM
1

What’s your point dude? Do you have anything to say on the topic?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:00 PM
1

Are you speaking of a video on the channel Aaron’s journal? Yep, hits heavy. Thanks for being empathetic. I guess your perspective may add more to these conversations. You know, the case of this guy from the video is absolutely devastating, but I guess even milder cases may scar a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:57 PM
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Hm, not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:52 PM
1

It’s the greatest “available” purpose. Not everyone can be an Oppenheimer or a Spielberg. Raising children is probably the most important thing your ordinary person can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:51 PM
3

Dude, for me “not random” = someone you know for some time. “Random” = someone you met today. It seems you argue against the conclusion while you have a different understanding of the terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:49 PM
4

First, I assumed that first you ask out someone you know. Second, asking out random people works as well. Or do you think guys pick up women in clubs and bars after getting to know them?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 11:45 AM
5

There may be people who like you, but it may be too rare. If you want some stable success with women as a man, the only way is too be hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:52 AM
14

No it doesn’t cause problems with dating. Your theory is that a man cannot effectively communicate feelings and so he has problems with dating. The problem with dating for men is that no one is interested in you. Seriously. Imagine you’re a guy in a uni. You like several classmates. You ask them out, they say no. You approach women in clubs and bars, they say no. You use tinder, and get 1 match a month that doesn’t respond. How is communication of feelings related to it?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:49 AM
2

In my personal experience, communicating your feeling is quite pointless. So I kinda have stopped doing it since the age of 10-12. You see, the reactions of people to me having feelings are like “you feel what? You better feel normal right now”. If I talk to my parents about my problems, they say that I have been always undisciplined and played computer games. Once I told a friend about my fear and he said “sucks to be you”. When I’m tired my partner scoffs and is visibly discontented I lay arou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 09:43 AM
5

Not bad of course. In the initial comment I meant things like “go touch grass and be happy alone. Shower maybe”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:14 AM
4

Depends on the goal of criticism. Criticism is productive if it helps to clarify the situation. Kinda like scientific criticism. Bashing someone with messages like “your problems are not problems, shut up” really adds nothing and is a useless spending of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:03 AM
1

Exactly this. When I say men would mention looks, I mean just saying “sexy/pretty/so on”. I think men expect to sleep with women too, but they mention looks and don’t imply it. I find it paradoxical, because a men typically like more women than women like men. So, it’s problematic for a woman to find a man she’s attracted to. It’s a bottleneck in choice of the partner for her. Why not mention something so significant? Also, this implication of looks is quite interesting. Because, men actually as…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:58 PM
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I think it’s true for women mainly. There is an interaction component for men, which I struggle to define.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:17 PM
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Well, empathy or understanding is not worthless as you think. I suppose you are a woman ad you said you’re not a man. You are a potential receiver of male attention, so you may tell your opinion on how it is better for them to express it. Or you may tell what makes you attracted to men. If you don’t really know, saying it wouldn’t be bad either. Because the advice like “shower”, “touch grass” or “you’re a misogynist “ is just dismissive in a sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:15 PM
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I can relate to some problems of women, like risk of date violence. It’s a real and serious problem. It would be nice to implement some solutions like background checks on dating apps. At the same time, some problems women claim to have are invented problems in my opinion. One of them is the complaint that there are no good guys. It’s simply not true. I would like women to reflect on such type of problems, but many would be reluctant, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:11 PM
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Your situation seems to be quite shitty. You don’t sound like an enjoyer of Netflix and chill. You may ask any questions if you think my input may be helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:04 PM
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Judging by your comments you’re the one of the most wholesome people here. Great attempt in empathy, honestly. More input from people like you would help to move these discussions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:00 PM
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Today I remembered a comment posted here a long time ago. The woman told that she understands problems men share here, because of her brother. She said he could not get female attention and hookups like his friends, he became depressed and his life basically went downhill. Reading comments from women here I sometimes struggle to understand why they dismiss problems guys raise. It seems these problems become real problems a person can have only if a guy in their environment is affected.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 10:22 PM
17

I got reinforced my belief that women don’t really want to listen to men. It seems to me it’s an anonymous site, guys come here and talk quite openly about their experiences and opinions. Theoretically you could make a valuable input here. Instead there constant dismissal and ridiculing. Interestingly, women understand the problems guy talk about here only when their friends, nephews or brothers are affected. I remember one woman wrote here that her brother could not get girls like his friends, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 09:19 PM
1

I guess it’s virtue signaling. Kinda like a man who says, “you know I’m into a girl next door type”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 08:11 PM
1

Does someone specifically look for evil partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 08:09 PM
1

Why tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 08:08 PM
1

I’d say most of such comments don’t mention looks
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 08:08 PM
1

Isn’t, say, kindness implied too? But it’s stated explicitly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 08:07 PM
4

I’m interested why women don’t state that a man they look for must be attractive. Like, there is constantly this dialogue: -what do you look for in a man? -kind, intelligent, good sense of humour -why didn’t you mentioned attractiveness? -it’s implied, you stupid I have some questions about it. Why do they mention kindness? Isn’t it implied too? Why do women don’t mention looks while most men do?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:12 PM
1

No surprise.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 11:32 AM
1

I think approaching / asking out a small proportion of women is kinda concealing your orientation. May be it’s not strictly concealing, but it’s a serious limitation of freedom of expression. Telling about your feelings to a woman feels like a coming out to be fair. But I have a feeling it won’t convince you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 09:14 AM
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Yes, women don’t understand men. They are primarily concerned if they like a man or not. They do not need to think about male experiences. When you choose a yogurt that in supermarket, do you think about its experiences? Do you think, “Hm, is it cold and lonely for the yogurt to stay in the fridge for the whole day? Will it be happy to go home? Does it feel well in my shopping bag?”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:55 AM
1

Well, I think concealing a part of yourself wouldn’t go without consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 06:00 AM
1

Thanks, corrected the word. That’s my point: being straight man is kinda similar to being a gay. In a sense, you have to hide your sexual orientation. It’s interesting for me what effects it has on a person. I bet nothing good.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 02:05 AM
2

1-2% of men are gay. It means a gay men has chances only with a small proportion of people he likes. I’d assume gay men have to limit expression of their attraction to someone (not hit on straight guys). It must be thought to hide their attraction. But, straight men have chances only with a small proportion of people they like. It’s interesting if the fact you must hide your attraction impacts your psychologically? I guess yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 01:54 AM
2

Economy
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:47 PM
2

Most men are loyal. Well, at least men I know. Why men want to sleep with many women? 1) men like sleeping with women 2) in the context of relationships, the woman may lose interest in sex over time. So the guy looks for a woman who wants lots of sex with him. I mean, if women typically would bang their husbands every day, the number of men cheating would decrease severely.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:47 PM
1

It is lazy. Imagine discussing wealth inequality with “everyone’s a little poor”. If you say everyone is a bit poor, than any one’a abut rich. Nothing substantial an follow from this idea. Most guys are decent, but they experience lots of rejection. See, you define struggle through “normal”. Kinda, if you have a typical success rate, you’re fine. It’s not necessarily the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 04:51 PM
1

My point is, for an average guy the number of rejections is quite high. Hence, he struggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 11:49 AM
1

Sorry, but this is a lazy thinking. Let’s call everything a struggle, so we don’t have to think. I met two guys who are the polar opposites. One is short, autistic, and ugly. The second one is tall, handsome and charismatic. The first one definitely struggles. I some think he’ll ever have a woman interested in him. The second one may just think “nice ass”, approach a girl and they will be in the bed the same evening. This is definitely not struggling. Question is, where would an average guy be p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 02:08 AM
1

The problem with this advice I see is that it’s lazy. It’s like: “imagine a failure of a human” -> “give advice to be less of a failure”. It replaces the actual question which is about men, women, and attraction. In my opinion it’s a perception mistake. You saw a man with a gf and you think he’s doing well. Having a gf doesn’t show if the guy struggled or not. I have a gf, and I have ex-gfs, but I can say I struggle with women. I suggest to determine success with a success ratio. For example, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:33 AM
2

I’d separate man children and jerks from no charisma guys. Kinda two different dimensions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:18 AM
2

I’d suggest you to reflect on this opinion. How did you conclude that normal guys don’t struggle?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:16 AM
3

This is the reason RP is popular. The opponents of RP cannot understand that. RP says “you’re okay, you just need to understand a couple of things and change your life a little bit”. RP opponents are quick to blame the guy for being a misogynist who doesn’t shower. No wonder they cannot persuade people out of RP.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:15 AM
1

Yes, I think for people, who don’t believe that ordinary man struggles, success is something like “was on a date once”. With this approach everyone is successful. Good second point. They see a guy dating someone and think he’s successful with women. No one cares to think what his success rate is.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:13 AM
2

I agree that online advice cannot be specific. However many commenters choose to give non-specific advice to a caricature neckbeard. Imagining an ordinary guy who struggles with women would be more thought provoking and lead to more insightful discussions. Well, I can say a similar thing - I see many men in my life who struggle with women. I’d say a regularly successful man is a rarity. The thing is, men don’t really talk about their dating lives, especially with women. If I was asked about my d…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 01:09 AM
9

I recently had a thought that a lot of discussions on this sub and other places go in circle with no productivity, because of one mainstream assumption. I guess people assume that a “normal” man has no problems with attracting women. If people let this assumption go, discussions would be more productive. When people talk on the basis of this assumption, they often imagine a guy who is not successful as a combination of a man child and an abusive jerk. Discussions would actually have some progres…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 10:16 AM
1

This idea that all normal men have it well with women must be gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 01:47 AM
–

Mhm.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 10:55 AM
1

Male bosses can certainly may have female protégés whom they allow to do whatever toxic shit at the workplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 08:56 PM
5

The fact is friends with ceo is more significant that he’s a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 08:14 PM
2

All this talk about men, who want something to be done by women, is a boogeyman of this subreddit. I’ve seen more women mentioning this than men. Well, something could be done: telling these guys how women evaluate men, why they like certain men, how to interact with women in romantic sense. May be a couple of other things. That simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:42 AM
–

What if men who live longer (read: good income) are more prone to marrying?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:29 AM
1

Good analogy imo. It doesn’t really catch the whole situation. The problem is women sometimes want commitment and sometimes don’t, while men are pretty much always open for sex. However, this analogy is as close as we can get to the description.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:27 AM
–

Well, I think people who say things like that are quite lazy in their thinking. They replace the actual question “what to do to make your son romantically successful?” with the question “how do you not raise an abomination?”. Then they think they’re right. They base their thinking on the assumption that normal men are very successful with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:19 AM
–

Well, speaking from personal experience - I didn’t spend all the time playing games. I didn’t have anything to play games on until the last year of school. It didn’t make me popular among girls. Life is more complicated than being a simple package like gamer+unsocial+romantically successful or busy with life+social+romantically successful. What would you rather do? Rather think of a normal boy who has no success with girls and think what you’d say to him. It’s a more difficult problem than imagi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:13 AM
1

I guess this impersonal attention is important in a sense that it opens the door for you to get attention based on personality. Just to give you an example. My female acquaintance was locked out of her Airbnb in a large city she visited on vacation. She needed to wait for 6 hours for the host to arrive and open the door for her. So she hung around for the time being. She met a company of international students and spent time with them. They welcomed her into their company, bought her some food a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:00 AM
1

No one is to blame strictly speaking. Dr psych mom, a couples psychologist, has a theory on why deadbedrooms happen. She says women generally have low/no libido. But when they fall in love, their libido increases. This continues through the honeymoon stage of the relationship which is typically 1-3 years. After this, their libido goes back to its usual level. I think this explanation is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 02:58 AM
2

Well I didn’t have much of success when I was young. So I think I’d put a lot of efforts in ensuring my son would have some success. So of course I’d be concerned if he still fails.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:37 AM
11

Yeah, yeah, sport and activities. Not a guarantee it would help them with romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:34 AM
4

Great answer for assuming responsibility. Not so great for a limited view on the reason of dating struggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:32 AM
1

I guess it’s not important that there may be different winners. Returning back to that animal analogy, men like women like people like cute animals. They just like women around. If men are compared to animals, women like those that run faster, jump higher, sing louder, and so on. Yes, women don’t generally need to earn attention. Sorry, I don’t see how your examples show that women need to earn attention. You tell that men would like women to watch them doing sports or their hobbies. How is that…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:23 AM
4

Probably you do, but I think it’s not typical for women. In my opinion, generally women like men who are winners and men who do stuff for them. Women put a lot of performance expectation on men. Hence, men have this anxious thought of not being enough for a woman or women in general. I suppose there are far less women who think they are not enough than men who think that. Same story with doing stuff for her. I’ve never seen a man who complained that a woman did little at their date. Like, men do…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 03:00 AM
2

Well, you (or someone else) will probably find a way to twist my words, but here are my 2 cents. I like women. I like when women are around, when they talk, laugh, and emote. Probably the best analogy for this feeling is the way people like cute animals like cats or rabbits. You just like when they are around and do stuff. You don’t put performance obligations on them. Like fish doesn’t notice water, you don’t see this around you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 02:08 AM
1

It’s confusion, not entitlement or arrogance typically. When you ask women what they want, they often say nice guy characteristics. Then you see that men who don’t have these qualities (or have opposite ones) succeed with women. Don’t you think it may be simply confusing?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 11:31 PM
1

Why don’t you like this remark tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 09:46 PM
2

I’d say no. First, there are physically attractive women. Then there are attractive women with a compatible personality. However, it doesn’t really matter how a man categorises women. Dating for a man is more about what he can afford rather than what he likes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 03:19 PM
-1

Ok, so that’s how it works according to Dr Psych Mom (I tend to believe she has the correct understanding of this). She says women generally have a low libido. Generally, they want some sex around ovulation. Then, they fall in love with a guy and their libido becomes much higher and matches average man’s libido. She wants to have sex all the time with a man she loves. However it lasts for honeymoon stage only, which is 1-3 years. After this, she returns to “around ovulation only” mode. The end o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 03:16 PM
6

You have no problem with attracting women, ok. Other people have a problem with it, so they discuss it. What’s so confusing about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 05:57 AM
4

Difficult question. The closest thing is probably James Bond.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 01:07 PM
3

Women want sexual diversity in a different way than men. For men, it’s straightforward- the more the better. Women are more of a serial monogamists.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 10:01 PM
3

Very important piece of information for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 09:57 PM
1

What else would you like to see? “Everyone is unique, so we can’t make any conclusions”? That doesn’t add a lot of nuance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 06:55 PM
1

I’d say both. Many offenders don’t care. At the same time, there are enough of those who are too stupid to understand. Sometimes people misread the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:46 PM
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So what? It doesn’t mean they push for interests of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 10:01 AM
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Lots of people in my circle make over 100k. But it’s not easy and requires substantial luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 10:01 AM
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Political representation? Hard to believe. Politicians represent all sorts of interested, and I do not see them pushing for male interests specifically. Do you have examples of male interests being pushed? Higher earning potential? I know many successful professionals, and I do not see that men have any advantage. The only thing that comes to mind is pregnancy, which limits earning opportunities. Medical testing? Depends on your view. It can be said that men are viewed as disposable, so they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:53 AM
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I’ve seen comments here telling that the world is built for men, men have privileges and so on. Can you tell me how’s the world built for men? What are he privileges? I’ve never felt that world is built for me somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:38 AM
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Same experience. “How are you this week? Bad? Ok, now pay $100”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:35 AM
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If it was that easy, more than 15% would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 07:33 AM
1

And if you go to a closed gate community, 50% of men have more than 50 million, so what? OP is obviously a questionable character, but your reasoning isn’t perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:01 AM
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Imo, she has quite an objective view on relationships. She writes primarily about long term relationships though. I’d be interested in what she’d say about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:24 PM
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Seriously, take a look. For example, she dares to say it’s normal for men to want sex in relationships and that problems with intimacy are not necessarily caused by the man doing something wrong. Big progress compared to the majority of relationship specialists.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:22 PM
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What do you think are main mainstream ideas about dating and sex? I started writing a list of ideas, but I think it can be summarised as one general principle: men are generally not enough and constantly fail women, but at the same time they have no difficulties with attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:19 PM
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If you’re interested in relationships between men and women, I’d suggest you Dr Psych Mom podcast and blog. She is a couple’s therapist and offers quite a fresh perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:10 PM
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Found an interesting article that discusses that there is little mainstream writing by straight men about dating. Never noticed it, but it’s true. I think it tells some interesting things. First, it’s shameful for men to have some problem with attracting women. I guess it stems from the commonly accepted narrative that a “normal” man has it perfect with women and only male abominations may experience any problems. Second, a there is in fact information about dating for men in manosphere. Interes…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 04:52 AM
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It’s not bad in some abstract injustice sense. It’s disheartening for guys women are very picky, so the guys have little chance. A woman may be average and still be liked by men. A man needs to win a genetic lottery to be considered attractive. Also, the problem is that men have to approach. Imo, it’s a crazy system that people of the gender that is liked less (so, it has less choice) have to approach and experience lots of rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 03:54 AM
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The idea that a normal man can’t have any struggles with attracting women must be gone. I think the default image is that a “normal” man has no problems with casual sex and dating. According to this image, if a man cannot get a date, he must have an awful flaw. It may be his hygiene or total lack of social skills or misogyny. I know some normal men who have difficulties with women. They have a job, they don’t stink, they aren’t jerks. Guys, who have success, are higher than normal in looks, game…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 03:39 AM
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Read an interesting tweet from rob henderson. He brought up this stat that a large share of men doesn’t approach women. He says we had a wrong mental model of young men. “The wrong mental model says that young men are natural risk seekers and will naturally want to approach (and possibly harass women)”. Well, I agree with it. All these efforts in disciplining men scared them further from approaching. He later continues on with the idea that modern men became lazy. Well, let’s see when people wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 12:51 AM
3

I’m talking about a different topic than discussing players. When people discuss thing here, women often have say something like “Ewwww, you want casual sex, how disgusting”. You’d conclude from these statements that women see casual sex as awful and would never participate in it. Apparently no, the responses are “I was just horny and slept with a guy”. So, it’s kinda a double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 03:32 PM
5

Reading these comments, I start to think that women are prone themselves to certain thought and behaviours they claim to dislike in men. Women here often blame men for separating sex and liking someone and wanting to have sex for the sake of sex. At the same time they see no problem with doing it themselves. I was always surprised when women ridicule men for “wanting to get their dick wet”, because (at least for me) even casual sex is more than that. It seems women are pretty okay about getting …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 04:21 PM
1

I think it’s an arbitrary thing. I suppose if a guy is not a hermit, then he must know some attractive women. If he can’t get a date in two weeks, then he’s not that attractive. I knew a couple of guys for whom one evening was enough. I guess it is an ideal state of things for a man. Compared to it, two weeks for a date only is somewhat of a loser territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 09:12 PM
1

It’s difficult to tell that for a woman. There are some women who can live without dating for years and feel ok about it. As for men, I’d say if a guy cannot get a date in two weeks or a hookup in a month, he’s struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 08:59 PM
1

Well, of course you don’t get what you want immediately. But if you aren’t close to getting what you want over a long period of time, something is wrong. I think that I got really lucky. Once again, if I become single tomorrow, I would not really know what to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 08:54 PM
1

At one point I thought I’m one of those people who can’t get attention at all. I am still that person to a degree: if my gf leaves me, I will need a long time to find someone interested in me. I wouldn’t define struggle through having or not having relationships. Imagine a guy who was always rejected, but found a gf at 25. Will you say he doesn’t struggle with women? In my opinion such felt miserable for about 10 years. It can hardly be called a success. I suggest to measure struggle through the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 06:42 PM
1

It would be strange if I said I struggle now. But I struggled when I was young and tried to approach. I’d say a guy doesn’t struggle if it’s natural and easy for him to go out and pick up a woman, and if he regularly experiences interest from different women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:48 PM
1

I’d distinguish between socially and romantically inept. Of course a person, who has trouble ordering pizza over the phone, is going to experience problems in romantic area. But some people who have normal lives experience problems in romantic area. For example, I have a job, some friends, and hobbies, but I never knew what to do if I liked a woman. Thinking about men I know, I would say the majority of them are like that. Even if they have a partner, they were lucky to meet a woman somehow who …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 05:28 PM
1

You’re correct that the ability to induce attraction in other people is a separate ability from being a good partner. Further, I think being attractive to the opposite sex is a separate ability independent from other qualities of the person. It would be a breakthrough to determine what it actually is. I agree that the problem of lack in this secret ability is not gendered but I think it hits men harder than women. Men have to do the first step, so they need this ability to be charming much more.…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 02:30 PM
11

D and A.Flattered by the interest and understanding why she cut ties. But this hypothetical doesn’t seem very plausible. Why would I reject a woman I have good relationships with?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 02:27 AM
4

Why wouldn’t they be?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:34 AM
2

Why wouldn’t men be jealous? Guess it’s a natural reaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 01:34 AM
3

Pretty much. Dating for women begins at the date. They are unfamiliar with things that precede the date. So they cannot give a good advice on how to become “worthy” of dates and approach women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 05:48 PM
3

I guess people in general are not very enthusiastic about transactional relationships. Imagine a person says they’re best friend with a guy because that guy is rich and buys his friends tickets to evens, expensive gifts and so on. Does it sound very well? Same with romantic relationships, at least for me. Then, amount of money doesn’t say a lot about the virtues of a person. I know many people who have more income than they deserve and those who have much less than they deserve. Finally, there i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 09:59 AM
1

I suppose I have something similar. How can you tell you had expression as a child? I guess it’s problematic to determine depression in a kid, because he has little experience to compare to. So, for him life with depression is a normal life he always had.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 04:00 AM
2

It’s quite annoying when I hear that a guy of college age must be financially stable to be dateable. It sounds like people imagine that when a guy turns 18, a secret society gives him money to have his own place and a car and to spend it on girls. I know some cases when a guy was financially stable at that age. Most common - rich parents. Very rare - guys who managed to study and work full time. They were more concerned about surviving than about girls. One guy I know about was extremely talente…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 03:57 AM
1

I heard some strange things about men from women who have no problem socialising and have men around them. I guess, women would benefit from inventing their own rp and discussing some things that are not obvious for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 12:38 AM
1

I’d say rp has some truths in observations. For example, it says men like a wide variety of women. May be it’s obvious for some people, but I met some women who think that men are as picky as themselves. However, there is a big problem when some “gifted” people try to build some pseudo philosophical system of living a life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 12:36 AM
1

This dialogue usually appears in the context of male experiences. Both sides discuss if a situation is or isn’t dire for men. It’s not an empty complain.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 12:31 AM
1

Tbh, it’s some unfamiliar territory for me. As a man, can I really prefer one type of women or another type? I never felt it’s something I can do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 12:21 AM
1

Judging by your other comments you’re a peculiar case.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 11:39 PM
1

Who’s pta?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 11:21 PM
–

You’re a peculiar case.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:59 PM
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Well, I get the part about the internal reaction. It’s difficult for me to comprehend how a woman may want hookups but have a problem with getting them?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:58 PM
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Many women complain that every branch of manosphere characterises them incorrectly. Everyone - pua, rp, bp - apparently doesn’t know anything about women. Interestingly, at the same time mainstream doesn’t know anything about men. I had a reaction like “Nah, that’s not how men are” so many times hearing takes from women about men online and irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:57 PM
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Yep, that’s another reason why this situation may be uneasy for a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:53 PM
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To be honest, of all potential responses to my post I can imagine, this one is really unexpected. I understand that a man may have problems with being a “hookup material”. But how can a woman have problems with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:46 PM
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Continuing the topic of conversations that are repeated constantly on PPD. Another typical one: Man: “Women have high standards” Woman: “No, we just look for a kind man” M: “But women hookup with model looking or rich guys”. W: “Of course if a woman looks for fun, she’ll choose the best option. But we choose a kind and caring men for an actual relationship”. Don’t women see that for a men may perceive this as a negative situation? What do they suppose a man must think? Something like “Woo-hoo, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:36 PM
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Huh, I have another perception of these posts. Women: “how can I convince my partner to have sex more often?” Response: “leave this impotent, he doesn’t deserve you” Men: “how can I convince my partner to have sex more often?” Response: “how dare you? You’re misogynistic in*el player abuser cheater! It’s clear you want handmaids tale if you don’t just follow your woman’s decisions on how and how frequently you have sex!”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 10:02 PM
1

I guess it’s fine to wait longer if it’s not something you need. I regret losing virginity late because puberty hit me early and sex was something I wanted to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 02:37 PM
1

**women
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 06:58 PM
2

Nothing has changed since "Radicalizing the romanceless" was written. People tend to ascribe negative qualities to men who complain about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:50 PM
3

Go read "Radicalizing the romanceless". Then, repeat after me: "Men, who struggle with dating and think about it, in most cases are not the amalgamation of all male vices like abusiveness, toxicity, controlling tendencies, and other".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:43 PM
1

I never said it’s hard for me to understand this. You guys like to invent some nonexistent points of view and then argue against them. I literally said “there are a lot of good men around, but women don’t see them because of their looks standards”. I don’t see what you are arguing with. So, the problem is finding a hot man rather than a good man.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 05:23 AM
1

I don’t say that all men who get no matches are necessarily good. My point is that women filter out a lot of men based purely on looks. It doesn’t look like searching for good character is a priority. If women prioritised good character, they’d probably swipe right on, say, 50-80% of men and would figure out their personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 03:53 AM
1

What advice? Why does it lead to maltreatment? What male strategies? Who’s there? What year is it? Common male strategy according to my experience: be single, wait until a woman likes you, make everything to impress her and not miss a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 02:28 PM
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This idea that only dirty neckbeards from their moms basement have problems with attracting women must be long gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 06:55 PM
3

What defeats the purpose of casual dating? Women date hot guys for pleasure, ordinary guys go alone until they make a career. Life goes on, no one needs to be forced. It would be just nice if people acknowledged this, that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 02:20 PM
7

There is no problem of some cosmic injustice. There is a practical problem for specific men (most of them I think), who cannot participate in “fun”. Of course, you won’t see it as a problem, because you’re a woman. Women have a difficulty with acknowledging men may have any problems. Maybe you’ll understand if your son, brother or friend will have this problem. But even this may not work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:41 PM
2

I don’t justify, I explain. Interesting comment about the past. It’s part of what I believe that patriarchy never actually existed. If men really acted like evil oppressors, they wouldn’t organise monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:36 PM
23

It probably is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:16 PM
10

Most men are not going for the hottest women, because they realize they have no chances. It’s not some irrational “fear”. As a young guy in college I could see that a sexy girl wouldn’t be interested in me because I’m not hot or rich. As a man, you have to “earn” an attention of a woman. It’s something women don’t have to do in general. You women need to just want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:16 PM
7

Not people, but women. As a man you aren’t going for the most attractive person in the room, you calculate your league. Women, sure, they can go whomever they want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:57 PM
55

You don’t really understand position they’re in. Imagine you’re 21 and you can get ANY model looking girl with a snap of your finger. If you want to date for a while, you date; if you want to sleep with her, you have sex the moment you want to. Then a Jane approaches you and says she has good partner qualities. You see her facial attractiveness is 6/10 and she has several kilos of extra weight. At the same time you have phone numbers of five women who are ready to come to you the moment you call…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:55 PM
9

I’d correct you: college guys would like to do the same thing. College girls do not deliberately chasing short and average looking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:47 PM
2

Reads like some kind of a manifesto. Care to support you thoughts with arguments?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:15 PM
2

I think, there is an additional layer: women don’t feel much relation to what they think men describe as women. On this sub, I’ve seen quite often women saying something like “That’s what these disgusting pillers think of women! Gotcha!”. While, I probably had seen that opinion may be once under ten posts. This opinion is held by probably two the most deranged guys here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 12:11 PM
16

Many women have wishful thinking: they expect that only men they like will approach them. It seems they believe men are mind readers and can figure out if their approach is wanted before the approach. It doesn’t work this way: either men are allowed to approach or not. Imagine that if shop assistants could decide if a person asking them something was appropriate or not. Of course , people would stop talking to shop assistants.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 11:57 AM
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Unfortunately, I don’t save them in a folder :( I’ve seen in on twitter a couple of weeks ago, so I don’t remember who posted it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:49 AM
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Probably. Do you think I would have a good conversation with one?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:47 AM
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I’ve seen a study recently where autistic people were compared to people with intellectual impairments in terms of romantic success. Turns out, it’s better to be intellectually impaired than autistic by a huge margin.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:44 AM
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Yes, sometimes things I hear from women about men sound like they are about some aliens.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:42 AM
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Well, in my opinion, having a mental health disorder = zero chance in dating. It’s like participating in a marathon without a foot.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:36 AM
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Just curious, has the fact you have a son or brother had some influence on your perception of men? I mean, in the context of discussing dating and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:31 AM
3

Plausible explanation. Kinda, a handsome guy with six pack and a yacht = good character?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:29 AM
1

What’s so mean about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:28 AM
3

It doesn’t sound correct to me. Let’s say currently a woman likes 5 men out of 100 because of appearance. Do you want to say that if she screened for character, she’d find the same 5 men attractive? It doesn’t sound very plausible that the only men with decent character were those 5 men whose looks she liked.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:25 AM
1

Swiping data shows that women reject most men by just looking at them. If you don’t believe online dating data, just ask some of you friends how often they see new attractive people of the opposite gender. I asked some women, they say something like once a month or every two weeks. Men would say something like a dozen a week or a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:20 AM
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Types of women with whom you can have substantial discussion about male dating struggles: - empathetic women capable of listening (rare type) - women who have a son or brother (often not even then)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 03:15 AM
1

Does someone point at exactly the fantasy about chad? As I understand, guys are disappointed women like only chads, so there is not much opportunity for an ordinary guy. Women have no problem pointing out if a guy has too high standards irl. Like, “you chase only models” is a phrase repeated under every second post here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 02:01 AM
3

It’s projection from women’s perception of men. For men, a large proportion of women is sexually attractive. Sometimes I’m surprised how little women understand men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:52 AM
1

Just curious- does hypnotherapy actually work?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 03:46 PM
9

Looks make a huge difference. Dating apps used to be more text-oriented but they become almost solely picture-based because people used mainly pictures in their decisions. Vibes are based on looks to a large extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:26 AM
6

There are tons of men like this around. Women don't see them because of their looks standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:12 AM
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A conversation that repeats constantly here: - Women just want a decent person and cannot find a good men. - Women have high looks standards, that's why they reject most men. - Of course, I meant a decent person who is sexually attractive to the woman. Why wouldn't women, who complain about the lack of good men, just say that they can't find hot enough men? It's obvious that the bottleneck is hotness, not goodness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:08 AM
9

Then the only question I have is why women emphasize they can't find GOOD men. If they told "I can't find a hot man", it would make much more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:02 AM
13

I was always interested in why there is this difference. If a men is asked what he looks for, he'll definitely say "sexually attractive". Women tend to omit this part. I would make sense if women liked the majority of men: then there would be no need to emphasize attractiveness. But, women like a very small proportion of men. I think, it would be natural for them to emphasize it. The bottleneck is male attractiveness, not good character. Why would then women emphasize good character over attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:59 AM
12

That's why I told you may just ask people of both genders how often they meet attractive people of the opposite gender. The answers would be somewhat similar to the swipe data. You say women swipe on "actual potential". What is the basis for them to determine "actual potential"? Pictures mainly, which means looks. Why would men swipe on everything for the sake of matches? What are they going to do with those matches if they see no potential? I don't understand why you would rather draw some stra…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:48 AM
17

Can you tell a couple of examples of men having high standards? For men, just as the comment level above says, it's personality click, being good and loving, and sexual attractiveness. It is not that high of a requirement. Your average plane Jane passes it easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:16 AM
35

Here we go again. Women are highly selective for appearance and charisma. For men, getting a date typically is a problem, because most women don't want to even consider them after just glancing at them. You write off the majority of men before even talking to them, so no, you don't look for "just a decent person". How do I know it is not just the experience of myself and the men in my circle? We have data from dating apps for example. Women swipe right on 5% of men, men swipe on 50% of women. Ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:51 PM
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A guy must be accomplished to have a dating life comparable to a woman's. I mean, dating multiple people, having hookups, having flings, this stuff. Hell, even to approach women freely, you need to be somewhat accomplished. I do not deny that average guys get in relationships from time to time. But dating for an average guy is waiting for months or years until a wonder happens and he meets a woman interested in him. Then, he does everything to keep her around. Most successful with women guys who…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:40 PM
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Thank you for saving men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:24 PM
1

Glad that PUA helped you. I never practised canned material (because, let's be honest, the majority of this is cringe). I tried to adapt it somehow to make it more natural, but I could never build the conversation in the right way. As for rejections, it's an interesting topic imo. In order to feel no worries about approaching, you have to be a bit sociopathic or not like a girl that much. I read about "devaluation" exercise in PUA: you were supposed to consciously devalue the girl you were going…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:23 PM
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Women choose, so they can have expectations. A man may have such expectations, but it's like expecting CEOs salary, while working at the kitchen of a McDonalds.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:09 PM
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Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:04 PM
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Men who accomplish too little don't have the opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 06:03 PM
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Reason dating is harder for men #1: women expect more achievements than they have themselves. When young, a guy is better to be a captain of a team, a musician in a band, or have his own place and car paid by parents. When older, being 2-3 steps ahead on career path helps too. Women are not expected to be as accomplished to easy get dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:52 PM
2

Even if he did, it was not the central point of the character.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 05:11 PM
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I guess, any person who says that women look for relationships only.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:55 PM
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Never understood this fixation on appearance. I can understand if a guy is concerned about his appearance. But women are liked by men, so what’s the purpose of constantly having procedures?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:50 PM
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Yep, it’s a lame comparison overall. A better one would be a comparison with becoming a millionaire. Everyone knows it’s possible, no one knows how exactly to make it, no feedback, and failures are punished.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:55 AM
5

TLDR: In high school, I noticed that guys are divided into two groups. One group has no difficulty in attracting women, while the other is not even noticeable. It feels like the second group is not even defined as "men" by women. I looked at all the sources that could explain why women perceive men like that and what makes attractive men attractive. RP does not explain everything, but at least it acknowledges that the division exists. I think, first I lost my blue pill ideals. When I was in high…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:48 AM
4

I dare to assume that putting women on a pedestal is natural, and manosphere explicitly says not to do that, because women don't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:41 AM
2

The shortest way to describe it would be Ned Flanders.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 11:28 AM
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These two things are quite different. In education, you are actually taught. There is no dating 101 in schools. No one teaches you interaction with women. A comparison would be learning how to solve quadratic equations without any instructions. Men would be fine if there was an option to repeat some exercises 100 times and become attractive. Also, there are many conflicting messages. For example, it’s expected that a man must initiate. But at the same time we get messages to not annoy women with…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 08:32 AM
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Everyone, like all the teachers, parents and relatives. As for dating, all the women and some men do nothing and have it quite well. I guess it’s a dream for most men to live their usual life and be attractive to women. In reality it feels like a man has to “earn” women’s attention. Women don’t feel this necessity so it’s natural it’s a hard thing to relate to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 08:08 AM
3

I see a lot of phrases like “just getting his duck wet” or “just masturbate if you want to get off” in the comments. Reading these things makes me think that women are the gender for whom sex is something mechanical used to reach orgasm rather than an emotional thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 05:17 PM
3

The problem of many female posters here is that you imagine some “ppd men”, and are permanently butthurt at them. Go to a doctor and ask for some pills.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 02:10 PM
6

Wouldn’t his fathers advice become obsolete too in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 03:23 AM
1

But at the same time you know something about being a teenage girl or a woman in general. Don’t you think you could share something about it with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 03:02 AM
1

Diagnoses?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 02:48 AM
15

Yes, generally men and women are similar. But at the same time they live in different worlds.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 01:44 AM
1

I can answer some of your questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 10:35 PM
26

I know a similar woman. She’s in top 10% earners, but looks for a guy who earns more. Also, she’s quite tough and disagreeable. I guess that even if she manages to find someone who matches her criteria, the relationships won’t last long. Two people who got used to everything being in their own way and not used to compromise won’t last long together.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:53 AM
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Yep, why are you asking?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:30 AM
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Partnered =/= successful. A guy may be unsuccessful for his whole life, but get lucky a couple of times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 02:29 AM
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I tried therapy three times. To me, therapy is a dude asking you “how are you?” and having a chat with you for an hour. Maybe it helps some people, but I see no point.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 12:58 AM
1

The first is partly true. Women often prefer to date older men, who have some income and assets. So, women don’t want the winners of jackpot, but somewhat of a winning dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 01:35 AM
1

I tried to find this statistic by age, but didn’t manage. I guess it’s more frequent in 20s and 30s. Also, some couples have children or one of the partners is ill, so their almost zero makes the average lower.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 01:29 AM
2

I thought of an interesting dating paradox. Women like confident men. But, if a guy is really into a woman, he’s gonna be nervous and awkward. Personally, I was the best in conversations with women I had no interest in. Talking to your crush feels like an interview for a job position with annual compensation of $1m. If you Women want to find men who are really into them, but select for those who are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 12:28 PM
2

Impressive. I don’t know many women who are that informed and concerned. Those are very untypical opinions for a woman. Can I ask what made you so involved in these topics? Also, do you think there is something correct in the red pill about dating and sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:54 AM
6

There is a no pill option.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:49 AM
3

There is a no pill option there.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:49 AM
1

What bits are good in your opinion?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:45 AM
3

I read that book quite a long time ago. Her point was that pua techniques are abusive and harassment. In general, the book was a giant generalisation. Kinda, she went to a forum and so some deranged inc** takes. So, she thought the whole manosphere is about it. There was no attempt to understand why these communities exist. Her theory was that young boys are recruited by internet villains through deception and propaganda. In short “I saw a couple of scary takes online -> alert, everyone be frigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:43 AM
1

I struggle to see how we arrived to this. Btw, I see takes like this as a strawman used by critics rather than an actual idea presented by someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 02:14 AM
1

Would you agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 01:31 AM
1

Average women don’t have to think about something like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 01:28 AM
1

Never seen that patriarchy unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 01:17 AM
1

I met two types of women here. Some are come here to argue that an unsuccessful man is a bad man. A minority is interested in what men think or share their own experience. Many women don’t really know a lot about male experiences in dating and in general. Hell, even my gf is confident that dating is much easier for men. I’m glad at least some women are interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 01:13 AM
1

Yes
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 02:12 PM
1

I understand the general idea of your post. However, I don't see anything that supports your point of view. Currently, it looks like "I read a book about androids -> I think men are like androids". What in your personal experience makes you think men match this description of androids? At the same time, I think there is something in this idea. I would argue that society forces men to be that way. There are gender expectations that a man must be that kind of a simple workhorse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 01:41 PM
5

Just wanted to say that all these dating, sex, and relationship things are tough if you are an ordinary guy who is not exceptional in looks, money, or talents.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 01:35 PM
10

Because men think that women like only top guys. It's as simple as that. Everyone wants to be liked and doesn't want to be invisible. Imagine how an ordinary guy can find a woman. First he needs to wait, because it's rare that a woman even remotely likes him. Say, he waits for half a year. Then, he maybe finds a woman who agrees to go on a date. Then, may be she agrees to other dates. Then, maybe he proves himself to her. Then, he makes some adjustments in his life in order to be a good boyfrien…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 06:54 PM
5

Women are strange. They’re so picky and like a little proportion of men. So, they select a moron who doesn’t treat them respectfully and suffer he doesn’t like them. Weird, isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 03:00 AM
2

I know a couple of similar stories. Women are strange. They’re so picky and like a little proportion of men. So, they select a moron who doesn’t treat them respectfully and suffer he doesn’t like them. Weird, isn’t it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 03:00 AM
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Being soldier… depends on the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 01:10 AM
3

Just ask a man and a woman how many people of the opposite sex they find attractive. The man will say a higher number than the woman. If you like data, men swipe right on 50% of women, and women swipe on 5-10% of men. While women have types, men’s type is usually “pretty”, and that’s it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 01:04 AM
1

5 I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 07:46 PM
2

I guess husband material is a similar meaning. Like "a guy who would be wonderful to show to parents, who'd care about kids and love his wife". But he is not enough for the role of a lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 05:10 PM
3

A couple of thoughts about men not approaching women. Many people often mention that a large proportion of men do not approach women. Usually, people say it to support the the idea that men do nothing and just complain. In my opinion, guys are reluctant to approach because of their own experiences and conflicting messaging about approaching. I think if a large proportion of guys refuses to do something, which is supposedly natural and not difficult for them, there is some problem around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 05:06 PM
3

Matches requirements for relationships on paper, but is sexually unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:48 PM
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I wouldn’t say it necessarily means not struggling. I’d say the ease with which the guy finds relationships or hookups measures success. Getting relationships is possible while seriously struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:28 PM
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It makes sense to an extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:23 PM
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So, in your opinion “dated several women” = “successful”?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:37 PM
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The definition of alright is a part of my question. It seems to me people are ready to label any guy had success a couple of times as “having no problems”. Usually they have little idea about his experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:35 PM
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I feel that many people, especially women, think that “had success at a time” = “doesn’t struggle “.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:31 PM
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Exactly my point. They think “had a gf once” = “no struggle ever”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:30 PM
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How do you know that guys who are in and out of relationships or committed don’t/didn’t struggle? One of the responses in to my comment is from a guy who has a gf but considers himself struggling.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:29 PM
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The definition of success is the part of my question. It seems to me that many people are ready to label as “successful” a guy who got his first date at 31.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:27 PM
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Yep, probably men usually tell about their success. Probably it creates an image that they don’t have problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:11 PM
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I have a question for people who believe that average guys have it all alright with dating. Why do you think so? Have you had any in-depth talks about dating with your male friends? Have you been witness to their successes? I suspect that in most cases, people see a regular guy and suspect he has it good in dating because why he wouldn't. Usually the point of view that regular men have it good with dating is pushed by women, who generally know nothing or little about male experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 02:02 PM
6

How do you conclude that the men you know have it "alright" in dating? Probably, you just see a normal man and think that he must have it alright with dating, because he seems normal. It is an incorrect approach. I believe, in the opinion of my female friends and girlfriends, I always had it good in dating. Also, I didn't complain to them or talk about dating because it is a social norm for men to pretend that dating for them is alright. It is not cool to say you aren't satisfied, because people…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 01:47 PM
1

I guess both.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 01:52 AM
3

I notice it’s news for people that a substantial share of men do not regularly approach women. For me as a man it makes perfect sense that guys don’t approach. Do people think that it is as simple as “you like a woman -> you approach her”?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 11:52 PM
5

No wonder men don’t approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 11:20 PM
9

I wouldn’t say that there is a lack of communication skills. After all many of these guys have degrees and jobs which means they have a normal level of social skills. In my opinion, there is a problem with social approval of approaching and trying. Conflicting information guys receive when growing up makes the whole thing even more difficult. I may tell how the difficulties with approaching arise. It’s not as easy as “guys may approach whoever they like, but are afraid of it”.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 11:15 PM
1

I wouldn’t agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 09:41 PM
1

The problem with “suggestions” is that they are mostly built on imagining that the guy in question is some kind of an aberration. People just blame the guy for all the possible wrongdoings of a man, including misogyny, entitlement and what not. I’m exaggerating, but there are all sorts of responses to the guys. Haven’t you seen such cliches as “You have no success because of your misogynistic attitude” or “You’re not entitled to women”? Threads discussing them are under every second post. Hell, …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 09:38 PM
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Just look at the context in which this request for empathy appears. Usually a man vents about dating, then women appear in the comments inventing all the reasons the man is not successful. Well, actually listening to the persons opinions and not discarding his difficulties would be quite empathetic. You know, I read these dialogues over and over again. A guys writes something like, “I’m a normal guy with normal life, but women are not attracted to me. It seems women want too much”. Then the resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 07:35 PM
2

No, it’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 06:30 PM
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Nah, the statement that men see empathy as sex with them is some weird idea invented as a “gotcha” response to men who vent about dating. Just admitting that guys typically have it hard in dating would be enough. Instead people invent all these theories that a guy with problems in attracting women is a misogynist, doesn’t shower and what not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 06:27 PM
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Being friendly and empathy about dating are two unrelated topics.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 06:13 PM
1

Imho, I’d say that if romantic interaction is not a casual and ordinary part of a guy’s life, he struggles. More specifically, if a guy cannot approach a woman freely with good chances of success, he struggles. If you want a formal cut off, I’d say not getting a date or a hookup in 3 months while actively pursuing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 12:09 AM
1

If a typical woman gets more dates than a typical men, she gets them with someone. So, there must be a minority of men who get a lot of dates. Seems like a coherent narrative. Why do these chosen guys have more hookups and dates? Must be women like them more. What may be the other reason? Also, 80/20 is not some crazy ratio. It is just one in five, which is pretty generous. I’d say 1 in 50 guys probably has a satisfactory dating life. As for me personally, it’s hard to tell. I bet every guy who’…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 03:04 AM
2

I lived some life and I know that couples exist. My point is men typically don’t have a lot going on for them in dating. In my experience, it is a problem to even get a date for a typical guy. In my experience, it’s typical for a man to have no dates for one or two years. Then they meet someone and probably build a relationship if it works. Single women I know constantly date, have hookups if they want it, and what not. You know, I didn’t just read about 80/20 and decided it seems true because s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:40 PM
1

I think the entitlement-seekers will find someone entitled if someone farted.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 02:44 PM
1

In a sense, 80% of men aren’t dating. In comparison to what the top guys have, it can be said most men don’t date. You said you see average guys with women everywhere. But you don’t see the rest of their lives. May be that guy you saw with a woman was on his first date in two years, will be ghosted afterwards, and will have no match for another year. I’ve seen men who are popular with women. A hookup for them is as difficult as going to the cinema. They have several women around them at a time. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 02:40 PM
1

When young, it’s very important. In high school or university years it’s better to be a captain of a sports team or some other bullshit. When older, earning some decent money is a not bad status as well. At least it is more accessible than in younger years. At any time, women prefer guys who are “main” in their circle. Guys who dominate conversations, are loud and self-confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:51 PM
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Men don’t dislike women who make more than them. Just like they don’t dislike talk women. Men are less likely to date richer women, because they suppose that they are less attractive for richer women. Similarly, men are less likely to approach a tall woman, because they think they won’t be tall enough for her. What can a woman do? She can signal somehow that the income of a potential partner isn’t that important for her. Which means being more proactive in dating. As for boss babes, being a boss…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:45 PM
2

I don’t like this whole talk about entitlement. There is some agitated group of people online who are obsessed with finding entitlement everywhere. They start long discussions about entitlement even if someone farted. Is the one who farted entitled? Or are people surrounding him entitled to his fart? You guys put this story about entitlement to absolutely irrelevant questions. Do women usually want a guy who is more accomplished than them? Generally, yes. Is it shitty for guys? Probably yes. Ent…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 08:58 PM
1

I tried to ask her about it. Apparently, a little proportion of women wants hookups, so it’s “fair” women have all the choice. I have no idea what the logic is, but she’s very confident about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 11:34 AM
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