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ofbdcb36 Archive

View 0 posts and 26 comments by ofbdcb36 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I’m around the same age and was also officially divorced at 31. Unsure of your situation, so this may not be applicable to you, but I’ll share mine. Long story short, my ex became very unavailable to me. She wouldn’t let me kiss her or hug her or cuddle or anything. My love language was physical touch. Well she ended up cheating on me and decided marriage wasn’t for her anymore. Which is frustrating and is what it is. For me finding success in dating was about two things. Fully letting go and ju…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/25 02:27 PM
3

That’s totally fair. It’s not foolproof. You have to also look at the quality of their friends as in what type of people they are. If it’s lots of single party girls that could be a red flag. Or maybe the potential person has friends with rocky marriages or relationships. All of these to consider. Do they go through a lot of fads like change what they like or like to do a lot. Do they follow through on things they started like school/big projects/other big items. Are they easily influenced on wh…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 07:03 PM
3

Hey man, I feel you on this one. I know it’s hard, but in time and healing you will get through it. It’s kind of crazy how some people operate this way where it only took 3 months of not the best marriage for people to divorce. I’ll never understand people who don’t get that marriage has seasons that are hard and some that aren’t. You made a mistake sure in being less focused on her, but I know you didn’t say, but if she didn’t communicate clearly not though hints or suggestions that she was hav…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 02:36 PM
1

It’s not your place to tell. I say you redirect them to their daughter to find out the truth. If you do this in a good way they will see the hurt and sorrow in your eyes and probably know, but it’s not your place to tell them. That’s her responsibility. By giving her a chance to tell them. You are giving her a chance to take accountability. If she doesn’t, well it stinks but she will have to learn later in life you can’t just run from your wrongdoings and lie about it. Life always catches up wit…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:33 PM
1

We make it work I would say for me. We are cordial to each other, but deep down I’m broken with that relationship still. She cheated on me and then when I told her it was important we work hard to remain friends and care about each other she didn’t do anything but ignore me really, so after that I just kind of realized that 10 years meant nothing to her and all the care that had been given was thrown away and not cared about. We have a 4 year old and work out parental stuff pretty well I would s…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 12:12 PM
1

Yeah personally if you are going to bail, bail now. There is no point in waiting 5 years. Your kids will be hurt badly regardless of their age. You do nobody any good lying for 5 years acting like everything is okay. I don’t mean this in a bad way, just trying to shoot you straight. Nesting did work pretty well for my ex and I granted my daughter was only 2 so I don’t think she knew what was going on too much and doesn’t remember us together. However, I would think for at least a transition stag…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 10:24 PM
2

Amen. This is oddly similar to my story actually. I was blindsided at first and now after looking back on it I realize she treated me so horribly and for really no reason in that last year or so of our marriage. Always criticizing or degrading me sometimes in front of others. She just wasn’t happy being married and wanted to be free. In the end she got what she wanted, but I just wonder why she got married if she never really wanted to. She claims that “southern culture” is to blame and it’s the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 10:19 PM
7

I’ve found out my ex whom I have a kid with has been telling everyone how great of friends we are. I am not sure if she is just delusional or what. I try to be nice and cordial when we are doing stuff with my daughter, but this is also the same ex who cheated on me, asked for a divorce, uprooted my entire life, and even when she got everything she wanted couldn’t tell me the truth about what happened when she cheated on me. I found out through Reddit that she actually went all the way and had se…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 09:31 PM
9

I’ve figured this out in my 2 years of post divorce. That there are truly 3 types of people. 1.) People who are meant to be married. They are mature enough to realize the commitment and vows and hold them close and sacred. They grow more loyal and loving by the day and it’s pure. 2.) There are those who don’t want to get married and are upfront about it and just sleep around and have fun but accept that they don’t want to have to depend or help anyone or be with anyone in that regard. 3.) There …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 09:25 PM
2

Yeah I mean other than maybe texting her how much it would mean to her son, you can’t do too much. I say just continue to show up for your son and give him the attention/care/time you can provide him.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 06:48 PM
1

Thanks man; I hope things get better for you too! Everyone deserves to have a good relationship and marriage if that’s what they want and unfortunately, there are too many people who are “ill fit” or “don’t believe or understand” what marriage is about which is lifelong companionship and love through it all. I think some people just fool themselves into wanting to be married and then realize it’s not their cup of tea so they leave. Which I get it but it does irreversible harm to the person that …
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:36 PM
–

It is what it is man. I understand she may feel awkward but so do I when we interact yet I work to move past it when it should be easier for her. She got what she wanted. She got the divorce, she got the freedom she wanted, meanwhile all I wanted was a family to love and pour into and I lost everything I cared about and valued. I mean I know I’m better off now, but I feel like it should be me having the issues interacting cordially instead of her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:21 PM
2

Exactly like a gaslighting you into making you think you are always at fault and because it is calculated they are too good at convincing you that it is your issue.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:18 PM
2

Imagine you telling your best friend/employer/family that you need 3-5 years to be shitty to them and get it out of your system all to be blamed on your hormones/mid life crisis all while not getting help.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:17 PM
2

I mean I guess, but if you are being “patient” with 3-5 years of cheating and running around disrespecting and treating you horribly then you are wrong. Blaming your hormones or menopause or mid life crisis for shitty behavior is just allowing people to be shitty humans. If you find a mature person, if they are having hormone issues they will at least apologize and work to remedy it not just use it as a hall pass to be shitty
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:15 PM
2

Probably right. I think back on our relationship, and I see now she really couldn’t ever say sorry. I had an issue with people pleasing I’ve been working on and have almost fixed, but she never said sorry even stuff now I look back on like me forgetting to take the trash out and then offering once I realized I forgot only to be yelled at and called names and then I was the one apologizing. Things like this where I realize it wasn’t me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:12 PM
2

Yep my ex told me she “needed more for her life” after she got her first corporate job. It was like a light switch. I wish we could have ended on good terms but her last words were basically “she found me disgusting and repulsive and was no longer attracted to me” basically body shaming me granted I’m not in peak physical shape but also not fat just normal. Then told me about how she needed more for her life and better things after I supported her in all her decisions and cheered her on. And the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 06:01 PM
3

Yeah I mean this is how mine started sadly. It was all about the need to go find herself and we took a break. I gave her space and then would casually check in to see where her head was at. She would keep saying she didn’t know and strung me along for about a year. I hope y’all can reclaim your marriage again if it can be healthy, but I will say don’t keep waiting around for her. If she doesn’t know how she feels about you after a month or so then she doesn’t deserve you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:44 PM
1

Yep but everyone deserves basic respect so if she is emotionally/mentally immature and gets mad and screams at you best to limit interactions. We are too old to not be composed and have disagreements in a calm and respectful manner.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:40 PM
3

I wish I honestly didn’t have to interact with her, but I do so with a smile for my daughter. It honestly takes life out of me to do so. I think things would be better if I didn’t just find out this tragic lie as well as if she just treated me post divorce like a normal person who deserves respect and care, but I guess that’s too hard. And funny thing is I don’t hate her or even dislike her I just sadly can’t be around someone who treats me poorly. I just don’t have the energy. Went to a Christm…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:34 PM
2

I hear you man. Some women just have really bad mood swings. This could be her normal behavior for her, but I would say to not tolerate it and hold her accountable. You deserve respect. Once she loses respect for you as you know, the marriage is doomed and won’t ever make it back. It’s like when women lose respect for you the attraction is gone and never comes back because they can’t see you in a positive light anymore. It will also get worse because she will begin to justify her actions or down…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:20 PM
5

This is a tough one. I had a similar situation where my ex asked for the divorce. We have a 4 year old daughter, and I was blindsided by it all, but I would say just be amicable with her, but besides that you don’t have to let her into your life or give her the validation that the pain and issues she has caused is of no consequence. People love to just leave their significant others and not expect consequences of their actions. In this case I would say a consequence is that you just be amicable …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 12:58 AM
2

This is such a toxic post. “I’m bored in my marriage and I’m amazing and fit and in good shape.” This is like a narcissistic post. How about communicate and work on your marriage. If you can’t work through simple issues like this, you should have never gotten married. This is the cold hard truth.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 01:01 PM
4

I understand you are bitter. I would not say they are lucky I would just say less of a hassle and less to fight about for sure. The real crime now a days in my opinion is that infidelity means nothing now a days in the eyes of the court. In my mind, if you cheat, you should have no access to alimony, child support, you should lose a % of the financials, and you should start with a ding towards custody for your kids. People will argue against it saying that seems harsh, but the reality is you mad…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 03:22 PM
7

That’s a horrid answer for being apathetic. Sometimes putting in the work means trying hard, having to get outside your comfort zone, and rediscovering the love you had for that person. It may have to be a little forced in the beginning in order to reignite the love. When you first dated just think you forced everything. You didn’t naturally go on a date, you didn’t naturally have sex and do stuff all the time. There were those first time forced moments that were a little awkward but you pushed …
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:43 AM
25

People need to quit with the bullshit line “I’m not in love with them anymore” both men and women. Only 1 of 2 things is true. 1.) you either married someone you never loved and just made a dumb decision 2.) you are in a normal up and down throws of marriage. You need to fight for her and find a way to love her again. You made the vows so honor them unless they have been broken. Too many bullshit people not actually meaning what they say and honoring their word. People’s words mean nothing now a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:36 AM
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