Bruh. I'm autistic and can tell you social skills are skills. Yeah you have to put more work in and you won't be the LeBron of Rizz, but you can get good enough. It just takes work.
An insult would be "you're an idiot who can't read." I know you can read so that's just an example. Is there snark? sure. Still not matching your energy either way. :p
Sounds like you waited too long and got friendzoned. You can be friendly with women, but not their friends. Well, you can, but then you have what you're dealing with. Honestly, if you're interested in someone, just ask them out. It seems like a big deal but it's really not.
This is exactly it. And yeah, if you never leave your house of course women will find you boring. Men find it boring too. You know who spends all their time in their house? Old people. Because they can't leave their house! The vast majority of people like to go out and do things at least occasionally.
It's not introversion. You may need to spend an evening at home to recharge your social batteries but that has no bearing on whether you're boring or not.
Just wait till we get a thread asking about mothers! Half-joking but yeah there's a lot of family dysfunction in these spaces. I could go on about both of my parents if I wanted lol Your typical guy who swam or swims in these spaces isn't in the water because they wanted to dive in and see what it's like. :\
Yeahhhhh it's a mess. There's things like that, there's Purity Culture (which is a huge rabbit hole), there's people thinking you need to ignore looks, there's people who think you can sit back and do nothing because God will do it for you, and that's not even the half of it. It's just a complete mess.
Lol yeah the chart actually fits my town The town sub has the occasional post asking about dating and basically the answer every time is "it's a dumpster fire" 🫠
You're on-point. And man none of this is even scratching the service of the dysfunction in the Christian-dating world. It has its own set of complications lol
Yeah some places are rough. Mine is apparently one of the worst places for dating lol Dating is a lot like the job market. Location, location, location
The pool is very....mixed. To get results you have to set your distance wide and even then you'll still get a lot of...quite frankly trailer trash. I remember helping a friend get set up on the Christian one and man with what he could see he didn't even have to go online! He could've gotten matches that were just as "good" at the local trailer park. I'm not even in a rural area but I think just with my req of 'Christian' I'll have to set my distance wide to include other nearby towns because eve…
I remember getting to visit my biological dad on Christmas and being shoved into a tent in the attic because my "stepmom" wanted her two boys to have a bed to sleep in when they were visiting her on Christmas. Like, at the time I thought it was an adventure but in retrospect that was really messed up.
Man you wouldn't believe how much meth goes through those areas. And loads just don't bother with church either. I remember reading JD Vance's memoir when it came out and how he described growing up is pretty normal now. The fact he scrabbled out of the muck is nothing short of amazing. The days of the Waltons are loooong gone.
this world want to spin it as "oh, my poor broken child" I hate, hate, hate those types of parents. It's one thing if you're the brand of autism where you scream and punch yourself in the head all day, but a lot of the guys I've seen aren't that. But then their parents treat them like some helpless cripple and lo' and behold they go around thinking "Oh I can't do X, Y, and Z I've got autism." Or just as bad, they cater to every whim of the kid, who then grows up with a mindset that the world sho…
A lot of this is further exacerbated by where someone is too. I'll give a personal example but I think it's indicative of similarly situated regions. I'm not in a rural area by any means (city with >100k population, more in the greater metro area) but dating is awful here. You can go to the city's subreddit and get similar remarks there. A large part of this is when people graduate high school and are college bound they'll move away because the schools here are nowhere close to top-tier. They ge…
There's a really great used bookstore a few hours from me that I've found some really cool stuff in. That'd probably be my best bet outside of an online store. The local ones are great if you're into bodice-rippers. Alas, I'm not! I got bamboozled once by a (much older) woman into reading Outlander because it had tImEtRaVeL. It did, it was just all the other stuff I wasn't into.
Same hair and eye color, and I wear a suit and tie, but no dice, sorry! That was your only guess because otherwise you'd just keep asking about the guys until you narrow it down!
I had to read The Stranger in high school and did the "omg he's literally me frfr" meme like zoomers do with Ryan Gosling. I need to up my poetry game in general, honestly. Was planning to start with The Complete Works of William Shakespeare but just haven't gotten around to finding a copy. Lord knows the actual book stores don't have it. Not good enough for the 🌶️booktok people apparently.
it's really been hitting me hard recently that even mild, high-functioning autism still gets a hard "no" from most women. If we're talking "high-functioning," I think they shoot themselves in the foot. The two common traps I see is they 1) think they can't do anything about their social skills or they 2) think the entire US should bow down and cater to a stunning 0.07% of the population. Either way they just don't try. (1) is the bigger trap imho. Like, notice I said social skills above. The eli…
Potted a Christmas cactus cutting I got from a friend. Lowkey stressed I'll be too late to save it because it'd been lying around for like, a month and a half. I just never got around to a garden supply store and I didn't realize till this week you could, like, just do the thing and get the pot and soil off amazon. On the bright side, I'm getting blooms 🌸 from my other Christmas cactus in basically March.
I have stories about their tomfoolery believe me! 🤣 Funnily enough, one of the men they actually had on looks uncomfortably like me. According to the show sub he was a real jerk!
I think I cracked a smile maybe twice? It's like I saw every joke coming 5 seconds before it actually happened. Me getting dragged out to watch The Hangover Part 2 with the bros. It almost, but not quite, felt like a waste of money as far as the film went. The hanging out was good but man I had to really bite my tongue afterwards.
I had close family reach out to them about having me on. (Or so they say, not like I ever saw the emails). I of course said no lol. Modern-day minstrelry imo
I didn't say it wasn't impressive, just he happened to be going against a bunch of incompetent Russians who couldn't get along. He might as well have been fighting Italians :p
"Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown" Like, what are you expecting to gain here? You know it. You know they know it. You're not going to get them to say it, so why bother?
Going to plug the CIA reading room. Loads of CIA docs, plenty of interesting stuff there. Real Men Who Stare at Goats level conspiracy/paranormal fodder there. Highly recommended!
Yeah they're required to report that stuff. Doesn't even have to be something like that. When I was teaching years ago I had a student write this big long love letter, so of course I let her counselor know ASAP. 3 parts covering my rear, 1 part hoping the counselor could address that because that student wasn't in a good place mentally.
Nah, you know, just crows. The little fellas that hop around and squawk at you. Sometimes they come bearing gifts of coins and tinsel You need to gain an appreciation for crows. Become a crow appreciator. A crow enjoyer
If you want someone who loves you for you, get a dog. You'll see people say "love is a choice," or whatever, and sure. To a degree it is, but the vast vast vast majority of people will have a limit to how much of your nonsense they can put up with before that choice stops being worth it. And how you act and how you present will affect how easy it is for you to find someone with a high tolerance for your nonsense. This goes for men and women. I could make a copy/paste of your post from the male P…
I grew up Baptist and fell out of that, was an agnostic after since I knew there were things out there we couldn't see, and I dabbled in some occult stuff. Not too far, read Paul Foster Case, other writings, had a few experiences with that stuff. Then Jordan Peterson got big in the mid-10s, I saw his lectures and they got me to reconsider what I had thought was some dusty book that wasn't relevant to us 2000 years later. Then onto Pageau and Eastern Orthodoxy since they had a recognition of the …
There are reasons why they'd like it. Not my thing personally, but I had my mind changed on the concept during Covid when I saw it was a complete game-changer for parents and people who want to be parents. Still not my thing, but it's difficult for people to have families so I'm glad WFH makes it possible for more people.
Oh yeah. I basically spent my entire 20s undoing all the crap I picked up growing up, and there's still some rough edges I need to work out lol It's a huge blessing you didn't have to deal with any of that!
Back when TRP was at its height I wanted to see the points the different sides had. The funny thing is a lot of things trps and bloops take for granted now was up in the air then.
Christianity is a large umbrella tbf. Like, neither of those would be dealbreakers for me. But then you have the sort who think dancing sends you to hell, or the ones who go too far in the other direction. It's a big club with a lot of different stances on everything inside it
Probably the time my late-uncle went on and on and on about mgtow, feminists, yada yada yada. Like this 60-something tech-savvy boomer stumbled upon Rollo Tomassi and Roosh V talking points, finely blended with actual misogyny and a dash of mental illness. Ended when he left after my grandad told him in no uncertain terms he was not getting more money on top of what my grandparents already gave him that month lol
Fwiw, if I see someone looking at their phone I'm going to assume they don't want to be bothered. Probably texting someone, or checking emails, or whatever else. People doing that don't really have the body language that says "I'm open to conversation!"
My stupid boyfriend doesn't want a present ☹️ Of course he said that. We all say that. It's good you're giving him something because he wouldn't like not getting one. Pro-tip for the future: Make a mental note to yourself whenever you see him eying some gadget, trinket, piece of clothing, or whatever else he wants to get but won't for whatever reason. He'll probably forget about it so when you finally gift it months later he'll be saying "WOW!"
Eh. Probably depends on the therapist. You have some who actually want the patient to stop coming to see them, then you have others who will gladly be your rent-a-friend for $200/hr.
Sure. Discipline, having to work and get along with people from different races and social classes, building up of skills. Would be a win for everyone, really.
I had a regular at an old job come in and spend an hour just going on and on about some play she was writing. Basically just My Dinner With Andre. I don't want to hear about My Dinner With Andre
I remember being so stoked I finally found out how to get to jelly world in neopets! Also those old geocities websites, ⚠️⚠️UNDER CONSTRUCTION⚠️⚠️ .gifs, ahhh I miss those days. I shouldn't have been online then, but I miss 'em lol
100%. Like, what parents in their right mind think "You want to make money selling sex videos? Great! Heck, your mom and I will be your managers so we can help you do what you love 😊" That doesn't "just" happen.
Yeah the whole thing's screwed up. Like, people are focusing on Philips but come on, is no one going to ask questions about the parents? There's definitely some questions there
The whole thing's messed up, imo. But the really messed up thing for me is apparently her mom and dad are managing her uh.. business. Absolutely bonkers.
We're basically boomers in internet years. But tbh I'm spiritually gen-x since I got internet access way too early so I'm like, doubly ancient and decrepit
The ones that "assuming all parties involved are single ready to mingle" would need to apply to for it to be possible are generally cool. Some others it doesnt apply to as well. They're dates not marriage proposals.
I'd get as much sleep as I can to minimize the effects, but it'll be a few days before you're back to A1 condition in the office. If you don't want people asking questions maybe get some coverup to hide the bags under your eyes, make sure to drink plenty of water, and use some moisturizer when you can!
Don't worry bros. Even Napoleon had it rough Napoleon was in love with Josephine but she married him only reluctantly, saying she overcame a feeling of repugnance when she first met him. Between battles, Napoleon wrote her love letters. When Josephine received them, she read them aloud to her friends to laugh at him.
Eh would he want to do that though? A good friend of mine immigrated from Romania and apparently the women who'd be open to dating an (I'm assuming) American are after a greencard more than they are ❤️.
Dude's focusing on the women and not on how they're crazy. Would be neat to see how he'd take all the letters Ted Bundy got if he was around back then lol
There's being friends with women, then there's that post. Some things you just don't have do. Partly as a matter of respect like she said. But also to avoid the appearance of impropriety (which causes things like gossip from others), complications, etc. No one's getting their mind changed here, obviously, but this isn't anywhere close to being controlling like you're trying to make it.
Closest box I'd put him in is dissident right, which isn't a good box either since it's a big tent that just means "not old-school Republican." Maybe radical centrist otherwise lol
That's fine, but a woman still isn't going to just fall into your lap. You can pray or just "let go and let God" or whatever but it still won't do anything on its own. Your so-called God-ordained wife isn't just going to float down from the Heavens above and fall into your lap if all you do is sit and wait around all day.
The truth is this: whether you will get married will largely boil down to the choices you make. You can attract a spouse, but it will take effort: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and receives blessing from the Lord." (Prov. 18:22) "Finds" is an action verb.
but his prose is very evocative and manages to paint a picture Excellent way to describe it. It's been about a year and a half since I read it but I still remember chunks of the book clear as day.
I'd give you the recipe I've used but it's been so long I lost it. I'll try to get ahold of another copy from family. Just maybe send a reminder in a few weeks lol But you can find other recipes online.
I bought one of these types of books online a few years ago. I forget the title but you could feel the rage dripping off the page. Very recent-divorcee coded
I was meming but 1/4 serious lol Yeah Crisis was the one I was thinking of. I just looked at what was on my shelf and that one's buried under a stack of books somewhere. Honestly I've read thru Guenon and Ellul but not the rest. Too many books too little time!
No. The laziness and lack of ambition are pretty big for me. The ambition doesn't have to be big either, just have something you're working towards. But honestly these things read more like depression symptoms so if someone like that recognizes it and starts to address that then sure.
Julius Evola "Revolt Against the Modern World" Hans Hermon Hoppe "Democracy - The God That Failed" Jacques Ellul "The Technological Society" Rene Guénon "The Reign of Quantity and the Signs of the Times"
Twitter's pretty good when you know what accounts to follow. Except when they're sperging out about something. idk about your follows but mine were going on and on about wifejak for a whole week.
It helped for me long-term but in the short-term adequate sleep, good diet, and exercise were a lot better. Really the therapy helped with breaking out of negative thought patterns. The sleep, diet, and exercise actually got my baseline mood up. I was treating my body like junk so of course my mind got all out of whack.
It's pretty tough to break in to those circles even when you do well enough to rub elbows with 'em. I totally get that being excluded thing. Idk about your situation but for me it's hard to tell how much of it was them and how much of it was me. Looking back, I had a lot of growing up to do.
I can relate to parts of it. I'll just say I found the book Hillbilly Elegy very relatable. I read it years ago when it first came out, it's a great look at what it's like growing up rough and working yourself out of that situation.
Not with the lack of direction or ambition. Those two outweigh the other things by far. I have a decent career, getting licensed to practice law pretty soon, I'm not starving. Like, you want to stay at home to raise (I mean actually raise) kids and tend to the home? That's good enough to tick the direction/ambition boxes in my book. Just so long as whoever it is won't be sitting at a computer or TV vegetating 25/8/366 while they let their lives and environment fall apart from sheer laziness.
Same tbh. I get why a lot of people may want to be involved in the "autism community" but it just comes off as very self-limiting. As much of a crabs-in-bucket mentality as you see in the inkwell spaces. Not a fan!
You can be angry about it, or you can try to adapt and do what you can in spite of it. You can't change the hand your dealt but you can play it as best you can. Or fold. Being angry and doing nothing is an option too, not a good option, but an option nonetheless.
In all seriousness, I would like a truck, but I'd have to go for something old probably. These new ones are just way too big imo. Can't park worth a darn in them.
Christians on reddit too. You have St. Paul going on about how there's no Jew, Greek, Gentile etc. so the average one doesn't want to say something that sounds badeven though it's true. At most people may be ok with the idea, but generally people prefer their own group. Which is fine.
Basically yeah. Actually lots of things are getting reported lol I remember back in my teaching days I had a student leave this long love letter and as soon as I saw that freaking thing I emailed the counselor and walked it down.
If you can't anyone then you aren't going to enough places where you would meet women or maybe you just need to do the whole self-improvement thing. Could even be a combo.
this could be a good strategy for teetotalers but i am not sure Probably the only viable one for PPDguys tbh. But then, they prob couldn't keep the cover up. If they could fake an edge they wouldn't need to resort to group therapy lol
Baseball but martial arts are cool. Just never gotten around to watching them lol Football's ok if it's college ball. Pro football's cringe unless I get to dunk on Cowboys fans which is thankfully fairly often.
Nothing saying you can't go to law school after you get your bachelor's. My school had your KJDs but there were people in their 30s, 40s, and so on and so forth. A good friend of mine was in her 60s when she started and she does wills & estate work now. By that point you may decide you don't want to bother, and sound's like you have a solid plan. Law school's not going anywhere. :)
Me on r/christiandating Some poor woman was saying she was quitting dating because of the crap she was seeing from dudes there because their expectations were way too much. And keep in mind most of the guys there haven't even dated. Guys in their 20s and later. It's bad
you vote by deciding which candidates most align with your class interests i vote by tapping into the blood memory of my ancestors, unleashing the vast energies of my hyperborean bloodline to escape samsara long enough to receive the divine wisdom of the Ancients to guide my will and ride the tiger we are not the same
Not too on-board with the psychadelics. https://preview.redd.it/nxgxt86jeqzd1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0138c3abe41bdd1a077fa56d429a3b3f42a47db
Look at what men spend money on. Guy I work with ubers to and from work everyday. A guy I went to class with doordashed every single meal. Absolutely bonkers.
Me and the bros on the way back from the polls https://preview.redd.it/c4pkg0s2c7zd1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e2d4e48dc9b26411aac7e2e603f60fa7c9aa3d4
Yep. Just a few days ago hoe_math was telling men to vote and it was just all "I doesn't matter!!1!" "What's the point!" "voting is cringe!" Course these are the same guys that dogged him for saying videogames don't help with women so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me and the bros on our way to the polls https://preview.redd.it/l9ejkpytc6zd1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95eafb892d0292d2b79af0cc7b4da7715c47debe
I got a cringe one that looked like something you'd get at those weird county fair trinket stands (you know, the ones selling confederate flag shirts). Not a fan!
Sounds like an effective operator. Could be worth adding to the squad. They need to figure out if it was from a stand-up fight, an ambush, etc. Bonus points if she's been through MOUT training
Here's a cute picture of a woodland critter to help everyone relax. Sending everyone lots of happy vibes 😊 https://preview.redd.it/65fsw4lvpzyd1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65c160df24d539a16ea80dfb223f774c75fa79eb
If there's anything I can't listen to now that I listened to in HS, it's because it'd give me a headache. Like, assuming I'd want to listen to it now, Slayer or Behemoth would make my head heart in, like, 10 seconds.
I wasn't into the whole MCR thing so I can still listen to most of the things I listened to in HS cringe-free. Probably not going back to A7X anytime soon though
An executive order for the FCC to impose new regulations that prevent consumers of media—as defined in applicable CFR and USC sections—from being subjected to 1) inaudible dialogue and 2) unreasonably loud noises that blow out their eardrums
You approach romance the way you do most challenges: strategically, with clear goals and a plan for achieving them. In a purely rational world, this approach would be foolproof, but matters of love are rarely rational. Consequently, you are at risk of overlooking or misinterpreting the unpredictability of human nature and affection. You would much rather stay single than force a false connection just for the sake of being with someone. It might not come as a surprise, then, that the unspoken rul…
Didn't Erin Pizzey try to start one too? It was either something like that or her pointing out a lot of the women she was seeing come to womens' shelters were also perpetrators of domestic violence. idr
Because the guys who are into them generally take it all the way to 100. And then you have guys who take it personally when someone talks about the issues with playing videogames, usually they're the same as the ones taking it to 100. Literally same behavior as the guys saying "I don't have a drinking problem. What's wrong with having a drink every now and then?" If that's not you, great, but it's a serious problem for a lot of guys and they don't even realize it.
I would theoretically be open to that, but when you factor in time from date to engagement, engagement to marriage, and available time left for having kids.. that'd be a stretch to say the least. But I say that with the full realization all these preferences and requirements we set out tend to go straight out the window if it's the 'right' person, myself included.
Meetup's probably great in the really big cities, but let me tell you it's just a wasteland in tons of places. I'm not even in the middle of nowhere but my area's Meetup just has a few cults and the local "Skeptic's Association."
You can talk to her about it, or watch and enjoy the time with her like girlfriends have done for years when their guy's playing a game he wants to play, or do something else while she's doing that. If she gets angry and annoyed if you bring this up then why are you with her? Also. Wait for a sale. You don't have to spend $120 on a game. Save your money and wait. It ain't going anywhere.
Yeah. It's wild. I'm not sure if it's still trending but the Whatever podcast was pretty big. They have these OF girls come on, the hosts have "debates" with them, the chat calls them stupid whores, and everything else under the sun. But without fail, those girls get a load of subscribers after. Each and every time. Maybe a bit of shame, a dash of self-loathing. Hate and love are two sides of the same coin. At the same time, the women are affected in their own ways. You can see the content creat…
I'm not sure care would be the right word. Maybe as much "care" as the people who saw the Truman Show end. But then again you have the minority of this group who think they actually have a personal connection with these women. You see a similar dynamic with the twitch streamers, vtubers, asmr girls, etc.
It's the parasociality of it. The girl sends the men texts (and it's probably a cube-farm third-worlder doing it for pennies and not the girl herself), he gets to see "day in the life" type junk. Basically an ersatz girlfriend.
You grew up in a stable family so of course it's unrelatable. I'd just take that as a win. Sincerely. You should be thanking your lucky stars it's unrelatable.
Freya India's great. Yeah, a lot of this is applicable to the guys too. I'm a younger millennial so that whole normalization of divorce was alive and well where I grew up and with my personal situation. I highly recc reading Rob Henderson's Troubled. This stuff was alive and well in the 00s if you were on the wrong side of the tracks.
Because it does for the vast majority of people. And even if by some cruel twist of fate you're some radioactive troglodytic mole-man spawned from the depths of Hades with a brow extending .0001 micrometers too far you'll still be a less hideous mole-man if you're fit.
Oh for sure. They'll care but like, "Lady, you're calling yourself a Christian, at least give the whole abstinence thing lip-service like the other women."
And so we see the rise of things like "partner" instead of "boyfriend"/"girlfriend." At a base level we know having to go through that when we're older is just not how it's supposed to work.
I wonder if the weight guidelines for overweight and obesity changed over time. You can look at pictures from the 60s and everyone is what we'd consider thin, so I'm kinda skeptical of that figure without seeing some definitions.
I'd add "The bird that keeps its mouth shut never gets fed." You have to be able to advocate for yourself and you have to see and be seen by other people so they know what you're doing. So key
Practice practice practice. Just lots of practice. Practice, practice some more, then when you think you have it down run through it again. Put the time in and the time you spend speaking Friday will go by fast and easy. :)
One of those little farms where you can gather your own fruits and veg from the field. Perfect date idea because the picky eater gets to pick their food
Based. Now to work on self-perception so you don't bring that energy with you. You've got the ball, don't fumble it. Now the illness and traveling are another matter, but the self-esteem can really make or break a relationship
It's kind of why I fight against the 'treat women like people!' argument so hard- I've treated women like people my entire life. It makes it easy to be friends with women, but treating women how I'd like to be treated has never led to any sort of romance for me. Say it louder for the people in the back!
Oh for sure. I grew up under a thrice-divorced woman that's a basket case. I think the neglect and emotional abuse there made me slow to open up to new people, for one. Lack of modeling of healthy relationships, plus bs from her about "what women want" probably did a lot to make me less assertive and masculine; that nonsense also led to me needing to clean out a lot of "nice guy™️" tendencies and, well, just about everything I picked up growing up lol. Oh for sure. I grew up under a thrice-divor…
It's fine. But like, seinfeld is just better 🤷♂️ Fun thing to do in your spare time: ask people if they like seinfeld or friends. Chances are it's one or the other. Ime there's little cross-over between who watches what
Another big one is these guys banging on about attraction. Sure, physical attraction matters, no doubt about it. But like, I go to the mall to walk fairly often and I see absolute schlubs and slobs walking around with women who, honestly could probably do better if they so wished. There're clearly more factors at play than height or how many nanometers apart your eyes are.
Eh, honestly it's an open question whether you'd want to date a future attorney. Plenty of anecdotes everywhere from other men about their exp dating someone in the legal field.
Eh. Moreso just learning how to adapt imho. We just have to do more adapting than others. I don't necessarily like parts of the game, but I like the things you can get out of it so I learn the rules and play it anyway even if some of them don't make sense to me personally. You often find out they don't make sense to a lot of people either. But hey, them's the rules so you just play by them like everyone else has to do.
I know that feel lol. I'm at the point where I'm even reaching out to my pastor to see if there's anyone he knows in his networks! Once next summer hits probably going to be looking into those singles conferences; some pastor in the LCMS had a singles cruise that I saw some positive reports of. And of course more things around where I live as time permits. There's prayer and what have you that other Christians who aren't in and have never had to be in our positions say to do, and they aren't wro…
I and plenty of men who do go to church would say there are no single women there. I think both are true, to be honest. IIRC church-going men and women of the ages that typically look for long-term relationships are increasingly going to different denominations from each other; women to the more liberal denominations, men the more conservative. And then you have the other factors relating to sex-distribution like region (e.g., urban v. rural), age demographics of each denomination, denomination …
Currently reading Jonathan Haidt's new book, The Anxious Generation. Pretty intredasting After that I need to finally get through House of Leaves and some Marshall McLuhan book I picked up some time back!
I get it. There wasn't cheating in my case but attempting a LTR in one exacerbated the underlying issues. As long as you live and, more importantly, learn—which you did—I bet you'll be fine. 😎 I have a coworker who just never learns after having the same relationship-enders time after time and it's painful to see.
If it's your first time I wouldn't be too worried. Could be a fluke. If it happens again you'll probably want to look at why you're drawn to people like that. Past relationships I've been in didn't go well and it took it happening multiple times to learn I had a bad picker and needed to look at why I was getting into relationships with women that were bad for me.
People generally have in-group biases. We're going to be more predisposed to those that have the same characteristics we have, and vice versa. This is why we dislike people in the other political party, people of a lower or higher social class, people of a different culture or ethnic group, and so on. Human nature and all that Source: The Star-bellied Sneetches
Eh. I'd probably be fine with a system where child are just automatically tested at birth. Other than that, if you're so concerned about this why get someone pregnant? Why marry them? Get things like this figured out well before the marriage and certainly before the pregnancy.
Right? I've helped a friend of mine who's a handyman with some little jobs here and there and, man. He's a far better worker than me and he does crap like put up drywall, rip out carpets, work on tiling, all of that subcontractor-type work day after day after day and he's well into his 40s now. Between that and having to spend summers doing yard work in the hot, humid Bible Belt climate when I was younger I am forever thankful I have my little office job.
that's why I just goof and gaff in the daily. Sometimes if I'm feeling frisky I'll spend time writing something serious but then I delete it because I realize it doesn't really matter anyway lol
One thing I did that was suuuper helpful for me when I was younger was I had a rule for myself to only go back to my dorm room when it was time for bed. Could probably revamp that to house, flat, whatever but not sure how helpful that idea would be if you're not in some area where everything you could do was close by. In any case, by doing that I was forcing myself to have to talk to people, running into things to do with friends and acquaintances, and generally doing things that didn't consist …
And you'd have an idea of that if you had hobbies where you ran into that hypothetical woman. And you may run into one that is interested. Or maybe not. Still a better shot of it when you're actually going out into the world and doing something instead of doing nothing.
We could probably put little buzzers in their ears to go off every minute so they can't think long enough to string two sentences together when they're talking to someone.
At your stage any official diagnosis would be good as supporting documentation for accommodated tests (e.g., the Bar exam, CPA exam ) but that's about it imo. It can also be pretty difficult to find someone willing to diagnose an adult.
Personally, I don't bring it up unless I'm on good terms with the person and it's relevant to the conversation. Either because of masking or low-severity people think I'm normal, if a bit standoffish. Eta: Fwiw if it wasn't for older family having it to a much worse extent and knowing I needed various correctives in early-childhood I would think it was more due to my upbringing.
I'm talking with one that's on-track to be a lawyer so I'm going to see how that plays out lol. 100% correct list https://preview.redd.it/e7qtm8apz23d1.png?width=2000&format=png&auto=webp&s=6f606e5b9cf9fca85f8889f99ca364855955a159
Eh, the privilege thing is just another way to make yourself go crazy. I'm privileged to not live in a place that gets mudslides, someone else is privileged to not have to worry about tornados, someone else's privileged to not have to live where I live, I'm privileged to not have to live where they live.. "Privilege" to me just seems to be an easy way to bully people into feeling bad about themselves and a way for the ones doing the bullying to feel good about poisoning their soul with resentmen…
You'll drive yourself crazy thinking too much about things you can't contool. There's a million different things happening all across the planet that should probably stop. For example: the diamond trade, poaching, cartels terrorizing locals, government corruption, child brothels, grift, and so on and so forth. There'll always be something.
I think of it like this: If they've always been fat then that's their normal. They have no frame of reference for anything else so your bad is their normal. It takes actually losing the weight for them to see that.
Basically every church I've been to, the singles are male so this tracks. Of course, you have women saying the reverse too. If I had to guess, this is—broadly speaking—a large coordination problem that's amplified by skewed sex distributions at the regional and denominational level (and nevermind how churches have treated dating and relationships for the past few decades. E.g., Purity Culture). And of course leadership at the various levels generally seems to view this as an individual problem s…
It's gotta be the white monster energy drinks https://preview.redd.it/mfcr57lyplzc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a1ab2dc956c3a5700c04e67960a7022f9e5bf26
Starsector's good. Crusader Kings (I get the most fun from 2, but 3 is worthwhile). C&C up to Generals (haven't played RA3 so idk). FEAR. Anything Ssethtzeentach or Mandalore give a positive review on. When I have time for games the hardest part is just picking something but once I do I can keep with it for awhile.
The English and Scottish are all either dysgenic troglodytes or almost perfect. They have no mids The Welsh are of course into sheep so they're playing a completely different game
Eh, we have a relatively diverse group so I bet the older people either know who he is or definitely heard something he worked on. 61 is really young! I figured he had a good 15 or or 20 years left in him, easy.
True but this is just complaining about the tides. Men and women are different, and are often treated differently as a result. The world is a certain way and it's up to us to adapt to it because you certainly won't get the world to adapt to you. 🤷♂️ You'd have better luck stopping the tides.
It's going to be really location dependent and be a huge ymmv no matter what but some ideas are book stores, animal shelters (for volunteering), various area clubs and their events (eg., hiking meetups), places that offer dance lessons, churches (ig yoga retreats if you're not into the whole religion thing). An obviously non-exhaustive list of suggestions that may or may not be available where you live. Really, the name of the game is going somewhere that *isn't* your home/apartment so you incre…
Good to focus on that given your age and weight but be careful you don't let your fitness goals completely override your relationship goals. Maybe not as big an issue if you don't care for LTRs, but if you are then you're at that age range where the good people are already pairing off and leaving the dating pool. If you are LTR-minded then there's a chance all the good ones are "taken" when you finally reach those goals.
Be sure to take selfies with the camera on the back. The selfie camera has a different lens and you'll get a lot more distortion with it. e: And what Lift said
And I'm assuming this is nationwide. You're going to see further variation at the region level. You'll be surrounded by overweight and obese people in any Southern US state for ex. Much less of a chance in, say, CA.
I dont get what there is to be mad about. I think it's a similar dynamic to the one where some guy finds out there's more to attraction than "being nice." Like, yeah, these things are no-brainers to a lot of people, but there's a ton of people who just don't get those memos for whatever reason.
dishonouronmycow has a good point. Another factor is one of perspective. I lost a bunch of weight and I could've been angry and upset at women suddenly finding me attractive, but I was inspired to keep on. The process of weight loss taught me we have a lot more control over how others treat us than we think. Of course you have men who take the same tack as those women you're talking about. It's often all a matter of perspective.
This is true. Also, we're starting to see trends showing that there will be more zoomer men in churches than women. The younger women are just dropping out of church entirely. Moreso than the men, at any rate.
I think this is probably region dependent. Tons of people out there saying "Where are all the Christian [men]/[women]?!" Fwiw I'm in one of the areas where there's a surplus of men. And that's not even getting into the population issues within denominations. The Orthodox are getting a lot of single men converting and from what I'm hearing there just aren't enough unpaired women (and this isn't even getting into issues re: distance)
Probably kvetch about having to get up (as is tradition) and then finding a jar or something to get the spiderbro out of the house. Dude's just trying to make a living he ain't bothering nobody.
The ones that'd bug me were the "I lost 30 pounds and now I get complimented on all the time wtf why are people so shalloooowwwwww I hate everyone" posts
I hope so! I was happy to see she found work but was worried long-term for her. Lost touch after college but if she's still doing that then I know PSLF will be a huge help.
A classmate of mine got a degree in art. She was able to get work as an art therapist at a hospital but I'm not sure if that paid enough to help with the $15k/semester she had in college loans 😱
True with the proviso that there are levels to this. A tiny tattoo of 🐞 or "tranquility" in Chinese (喝阿华田) on the wrist or arm is different from, say, a tramp stamp.
Relatively so if I don't have a lot of irons going in the fire. Harder for me when I have a lot of things going on. "Welcome to the Mental Spittoon, how adaptable are ya"
Me sitting atop my pile of Steam games https://preview.redd.it/czpby6q7oroc1.png?width=2602&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1e653203250c0176a0871e7bc910a667c9252a0
If you're sneaking someone in you're obviously up to some tomfoolery. And if not, well then it's easy enough to get your parents' permission imo. High schoolers gonna high school, I get it, I've been there. I'm just some guy on the internet but I have to say I don't approve.
I’ve noticed that more and more people are expressing their sexuality online through the consumption of porn and the fetishization of fictional characters. Katherine Dee has an interesting article on "fictosexuals"
I imagine if I was just playing the game I wouldn't make the connection, but since I'm terminally online the embedded tweet's making me think of that meme You know the one.
Also she told me she had a boyfriend even though I did 0 flirting with her. This happens quite often with me. I can talk about the most mundane stuff and they'll find a way to mention having a boyfriend. They can probably sense it from my body language. Ime it either comes up in conversation naturally or, well, a guy comes up to talk to a girl he doesn't really know. It's pretty clear what's going on. Good luck! You got this fam
I start getting cold when it's like, 68F. I have family up there and the scenery's beautiful but I'm having Nunavut. I'm happy with my 1in of snow/year thank you!
If I ever had a GF, I would never tell her my history regarding my disabilities. I wouldn't do it right off the bat, obviously, but that's a bridge you would need to cross eventually. You tell them and if the person is good it'll help them better understand where you're coming from and will help her to understand the things you do that might not make sense to her. If it hurts the relationship then you wouldn't want that person and would be absolutely miserable in the long-term, anyway. The right…
I like carb-dense foods but they make me sleepy. I'd like to have my beans & rice for lunch but if I do I'm probably not getting work done for the rest of the afternoon 😭
Yeah...opera isn't going to be a good way to meet people. You may have better luck at a gallery walk or art exhibition if that's the sort of women you want to meet.
You and the boys rolling up to Mr. Lin's China Palace https://preview.redd.it/yyctycptw7oc1.png?width=943&format=png&auto=webp&s=39b048290f1eb7597388c22b8abd22b4e63afa0e
Raised by mom. It's a bit difficult to answer this question through the lens of gender roles, because as I was thinking on it, she was former military and our family comes from working class background. Just on the background alone it's a toss-up whether any woman would conform to "gender roles" as we understand, because they often seem very based upon a middle or maybe upper-class conception of femininity. She hasn't been afraid to get her hands dirty, and many of the woman of this background a…
Plenty of decent women, but they're all taken! Circumstances vary but simple facts are if you're not locked down early you're in the pool with the rest of the also-rans and has-beens. Doesn't matter if you have extenuating circumstances putting you there. Buuuut if you're generally doing ok except on the relational front I think you still have a decent shot, at least in my patch of dirt. For context, I would've been off the market early but for various issues I and my gf at the time both had. I'…
And a good looking guy with a job will make more money than the regular guy with a job. Yeah have your skills for sure but improved looks seems to correlate to more career success
This one: https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bczbhc/daily_community_chat_megathread/kumokqg/?context=3 Idk the cat has a pretty good platform
A relative of mine was in and one thing he misses was he could just take time off in the middle of the workday to just get his routine done and just head right back to work. Literally getting paid to work out Sweet gig tbh
In some respects letting each sex view the others' sexuality has been an absolute disaster. The boys and girls both get blackpilled into mental issues and hangups over it.
I have a friend of mine who goes back to Romania every so often to visit relatives. He's been lowkey "joking" I head out there with him for that reason on his next visit. Probably going to take him up on that tbh once I have the vacation days for it lol I get a cool vacation and get to see where he's from, if nothing else!
I've found over the years it's very flaky. You miss something when it isn't in person. Maybe even in video calls but even then that's missing something. When we're all just words on a screen we aren't talking to another person, just what we cooked them up to be in our minds. What we present isn't ourselves either, but what we want people to see and even then that's not getting across anyway because it isn't us the other person's interacting with to begin with. Unless you start to bring in aspect…
Yeah I think the evidence is pretty clear at this point. Idk if there's going to be a fix though. It'd take men and women to stop acting like idiots lol
I said that a month or more back lol Sam Hyde (PBUH) actually had solid advice on this matter. Basically anything else I'd take with a grain of salt because it's Sam Hyde
Just find someone you vibe with and theeen introduce her to your interests. Depending on what you want with a relationship, aligned values are probably the better bet. Like yeah, finding someone that wouldn't mind listening to this, or wouldn't mind talking about Marshall McLuhan would be great, but sometimes you gotta be real. With your situation just find someone into anime or vidya and you're already most of the way there. Literally just go to your area's anime con
It's a trainwreck. Got to see it all happen to a coworker and it ended disastrously. Note to anyone: If the lady you're seeing lost custody of her kids, please don't let her move in with you. And definitely don't do it if you have 50/50 custody with your ex-wife!! I saw it play out exactly how I feared it would. Literally everyone but him saw it coming.
lol see edit! Glad you got off them. Only reason I did was because by the time I noticed I wasn't doing ok I probably would've hurt myself or something stupid. Been off 'em for years though. Activity, diet, sleep, and change of environment helped me get off of them. If I had all those in place at the start I probably could've avoided them entirely. If someone's going to start taking them I'd want to try one or more of those things first.
Eh, just be glad you weren't ever at a point where you needed them. [I can't read.] Another side effect they don't tell you is weight gain lol Good for a last resort but just that.
I haven't run into that, but I would guess that's maybe something weird like the Quiverfulls or one of the Charismatic group or something. Hard to say whether that's a thing across the Evangelical sphere broadly because they're so decentralized and you could have two churches that are wildly different from each other but still be under the same convention or association. It's a broad umbrella.
This is true. I was at a place for brunch a few months ago and was mortified at how all the men looked like schlubs. Absolute bare minimum of effort while their wives and girlfriends were dressed nicely and well coiffed.