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No_Teacher_3313 Archive

View 1 post and 1,496 comments by No_Teacher_3313 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Not in a personal relationship way. Educator-student and employer-employee-colleague are professional relationships. You can’t force third parties into a personal relationship with you. You can force them to be your friend or your romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:26 PM
–

Fairness in educational and employment opportunities is not the same as fairness in interpersonal relationships due to the required involvement of third parties. If you are lonely, should the government force people to be your friend in order to promote fairness?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 11:31 AM
1

Not so sure about that, Socrates. But whatever. I have said from the very beginning that both are issues. And not wanting to continue a pregnancy can be an issue of both. And is no proof in most things, only evidence in support of it against, but that’s probably a little too sophisticated of a concept for this convo. There is nothing to prove here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 01:43 AM
1

No. Because bodily autonomy and reproductive autonomy ARE BOTH IMPORTANT. It’s not a question of one or the other. Both men and women get reproductive autonomy to the extent that no one’s bodily autonomy is violated. This woman can perfectly well not want the baby in addition to not wanting to be pregnant. It doesn’t matter because bodily autonomy supersedes the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 01:08 AM
1

The embryo that is not implanted or is no longer implanted in the woman does not proceed with development unless the woman and man agree. It all stops. That is where the reproductive autonomy comes into play. They both get it equally at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 12:18 AM
1

I am not sidetracking. There is no baby. There is only an embryo. You can certainly hand the woman the embryo if you want. But going further down the sci do route, if you would pull a fully-grown baby out of her, she can refuse to raise it, she can refuse to be actively involved. But it’s still her financial obligation. The only way she or the father “get out” of the financial obligation is if they both agree to put the baby up for adoption. If one wants to keep it and raise it, the other is obl…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 09:56 PM
–

Jesus. You don’t read. If the embryo is teleported out of the woman, (and I’m not sure I’m okay with this because it’s still coming out of her body), then it’s just an embryo, like embryos in fertility clinics. Because it’s not in the woman, it’s not an issue of her body. Therefore the overarching value of bodily autonomy is moot. The extracted embryo is owned jointly by both the sperm and egg donors. Reproductive autonomy rules come into play here and either party can block the use of the embry…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 06:38 PM
1

Imagine what you want. You can’t go into a woman’s uterus because it’s her body. Also, reread the ordering. Reproductive autonomy comes second. The woman who wants the embryo implanted is not relevant. She has no say.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 09:45 AM
1

A procedure that damages the uterus in order to keep the embryo viable. What the pro-lifers think is 100% irrelevant. And any viable embryo follows the fertility clinic rules, which house all the viable embryo rules - both creators of the embryo have to agree to its use. So a man at any time can withdraw consent to the use of the embryo and the woman can’t use it. And vice versa. Look at the Sofia Vergara case. To sum up, if an embryo is inside a woman, it’s her call because it’s her body. Bodil…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:23 PM
1

A technology that goes into the woman’s uterus and cuts out the implanted embryo intact and reimplantable? Of course not.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 08:09 AM
11

One more external uterus for someone else then.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:32 AM
25

It would indeed be great for all the wannabe single dads, for sure. And they can experience and appreciate all the sentiment that single moms get on these subs. Lobby those politicians!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:24 AM
2

Because children have superseding rights. And why would the world’s men just get to go around impregnating women and leaving the women with all the financial responsibility? If they could just walk away whenever they felt like it, why even make an effort to be responsible or users condom? It’s a free pass, right? No consequences at all. All the responsibility for birth control falls on the woman because man can just walk away.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:20 AM
21

It’s true that men cannot choose for their bodies to have children. Do you want funding for external uteruses?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 03:02 AM
1

There is no thing as a financial abortion. No one gets one. It’s not biologically fair that women have to endure pregnancy, childbirth, and the after effects of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 02:10 AM
1

No. It’s not reasonable for the default response to pregnancy be abortion, unless the father agrees to pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:59 AM
3

You can expect the father of the child to pay for the child he created. A child is entitled to support from both parents. There is no default of getting an abortion unless the father agrees to help out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:56 AM
1

No. If a child is born, the child is entitled to the support of both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:54 AM
6

There is a good case for not forcing a woman to be an incubator for 9 months if she doesn’t want to be. The consent to parenthood doesn’t work the same way. You can’t reasonably force a woman to get an abortion if she doesn’t want one. You can’t reasonably expect her to pay the full cost of the child if she opts not to abort. You can’t reasonably expect the taxpayers to pick up the bill. I get that it can suck, but it’s your sperm that created the child, and you can’t expect someone else to pick…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:45 PM
4

No. The foundation is that consent to sex is not consent to carrying a child and going through childbirth, that your body can’t be required to be used as a vessel. It’s not related to parenthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:23 PM
1

First, you have taken this post off on a wild tangent. Second, You don’t know that the women are not attracted to these men. Third, and related to above, what people are attracted to changes over time. I am horrified by what I was attracted to when I was 18. I’d never date one of those guys now. Major negative appeal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 06:20 PM
1

Women who are looking to get married and have kids are not the ones looking for wealth and gifts.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 04:23 PM
1

Not from anyone I’ve ever known. I think you vastly overestimate the frequency.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 11:13 AM
6

Personally I find them horribly uncomfortable. But I love bras and know lots of women don’t, so I can only conclude that comfort is a very individual thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:28 AM
5

Some won’t. I loved that feature, but restricting contact to mutual matches is still a huge plus. If a woman doesn’t want to message first, she shouldn’t have chosen Bumble.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 12:31 AM
5

Being able to initiate contact gives men the illusion of power, I guess. How often does the woman respond? I would still use Bumble and I think it’s still likely that the best matches for me are there. They changed the woman-first contact policy a while ago, so I don’t know why it would continue to not fare well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 12:13 AM
7

Hinge doesn’t. You can go through the whole stack over and over. Not so with Bumble. You hit the end and it tells you there are no more profiles to see. I’ve always preferred Bumble though. Where I am it has, or had, the highest quality of men. Hinge is all cutesy meaningless prompts. Tinder doesn’t have filters for politics or religion. They prioritize not losing money from conservatives and don’t care about compatibility..
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:44 PM
12

You are shown profiles from a stack one at a time. You can’t say “maybe” and you can’t come back later. I think that encourages people to swipe right even if they’re not super enthusiastic. But then you see people you like better and match with them. You can end up with a lot of matches but realistically you’re not going to be chatting with everyone. You also don’t know whether the person you’re swiping right on is actually available and active on the app. I don’t think that it’s an issue of wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:13 PM
4

Did the women on the thread who were downvoted say they loved their husbands for their wealth, for buying them things, for their quality sperm that made beautiful kids, and whatever else would be the equivalent? I didn’t read anything like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 06:04 PM
3

I have always wanted a man to fall in love with my intelligence, dry wit, varied knowledge, and a bunch of other things. It pisses the shit out of me that men only pay attention to what women look like. So no, it’s not that we would never accept it. Women are largely sick of how men are so overly concerned about looks and how indiscriminating they are in general. What about you? You like a woman because she has brown hair, athletic build, perky breasts, high cheekbones? Is this supposed to be me…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 05:10 PM
2

Nearly everything benefits the other person - kindness, sense of humor, intelligence, generosity, emotional awareness, interesting hobbies. A lot of this is similar to the reasons we choose our friends. It all affects the quality of our interaction. Are we supposed to love our husband because he’s got a certain color eyes or nice teeth? What kind of answer would be acceptable to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 04:55 PM
1

Exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:43 PM
10

Lots of men seem to believe that women don’t actually love their spouses. They’re just with them because they couldn’t land better or because the husband provides resources, validation, something. It’s mind rot.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 10:41 PM
1

No one inspires it for me. I know I’m not compatible with most guys and I think that is overpowering. But I am always wildly attracted to my bfs and always end up feeling I’m the more affectionate and sexual one. I always end up wishing I could find someone as crazy about and attentive to me. Always.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 08:34 AM
1

Women easily make friends too. She is with because some combination of factors inspired attraction. She does not have the platonic feelings a friend would have. Does she want to have sex with you or not? Fewer women than men experience primal desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:27 AM
1

I don’t agree. Passion and attraction occur and there’s no recipe for creating them. But for me, I need to really be in sync with the other person for that to be possible. I will develop the butterflies or not, but it’s not based on looks, although they have to meet a basic looks threshold. A objectively good looking person doesn’t necessarily hold any appeal for me. You know how people can be friends and can later fall in love? Passion can develop over time. Guys here find lots of women attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:22 AM
1

You don’t feel passion and sexual interest for friends. And it’s not your tv preferences; it’s your values, interests and things that make you who you are. How interesting you are to the other person. They aren’t minor or superficial. People are vastly different. Your face and body aren’t what make you who you are. Yet men seem to only care about that. That’s depressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 03:02 AM
1

How is it depressing that someone develops attraction to you based on who you are as a person? It’s what a prefer.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 02:42 AM
3

Not for lots of us. Passion and attraction arise.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:17 AM
2

Nope. MAGA is the biggest dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:06 AM
3

No. But the lack of them will preclude or kill passion and attraction, for lots of people. So they are essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 11:05 AM
10

I care 100%. Extraverts exhaust me. I dislike hot weather and want someone indoorsy. If he has certain politics I’ll be repelled. The list goes on. The wrong “personality” is a recipe for misery.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 09:03 AM
25

You are complaining about how selfish and uninteresting women are, while claiming that their looks are the most important thing about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 08:58 AM
8

Advanced paternal age is associated with kinds of birth defects. So after 40 they are absolutely past their peak.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:49 PM
10

Not necessarily. Young women largely have their own careers, and aren’t looking for anyone to provide security, stability and protection for them. That’s such a paternalistic take.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 07:50 PM
8

So male bodybuilders are primarily attracted to female bodybuilders?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 01:05 AM
3

No. I’m not combative at all. I do have opinions and express them instead of saying “yes, dear” and going along with what he wants. Lots of men present that. Submissive means he makes the rules and you go along. Equal partners means compromise. Someone who wants an equal partner would never ever use the word “submissive”. Also, plenty of guys are overly opinionated and controlling. Too bad if they want peace. If they’re not helping with the peace, they don’t deserve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:15 PM
33

You’re not supposed to be trying to not mess up. You’re supposed to be trying to assess whether there’s relationship potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 05:33 AM
14

Haha. If that’s the scenario then it’s best to be a single mom. You get your kids and don’t have to put up with a man who wants submissiveness. No contest really.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 01:20 AM
24

Single mothers don’t need to change their standards at all. If they can’t get what they want, then they just don’t get it. No one else needs to butt in and set them straight on what they think their standards should be. You don’t want to date a single mother? Then don’t. No one cares. And for the record, I’ve always found men who prefer feistiness over submission. Yes, most of us would much rather be single than submissive. Not even a contest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 12:24 AM
5

It will have to be an indie film. A cuteish guy who is not good looking enough to generate women approaching him randomly quotes Shakespeare in the line at the grocery store. I feel compelled to reply and we hit it off. He’s a liberal atheist who fosters rescue animals in his free time. His clever use of the English language makes me swoon and I almost forget one of my bags of produce. He’s unable to find a relationship because he’s writing a book evenings after work and on weekends. He has limi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:50 PM
–

But what is the benefit of dating someone you’re not attracted to? Much better to just stay single.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:11 PM
–

They may not be happy single, but dating a guy they’re not attracted to is only going to make them unhappier.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:08 PM
2

My bf has zero jealousy or insecurity about my past and it’s such an attractive quality. My attraction to him is off the charts whereas other guys have left me with an “ew” feeling because it’s not a nonissue.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:58 AM
33

As a divorced single mom at this point, I’m good because I have my kids and am not looking to ever cohabitate or get married again. Dating can be fun or a shitshow but it’s not in any way a priority. So I guess it depends on the woman and where she is versus where she wants to be. I’ve found men in my age range to be largely emotionally impaired and low effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 02:52 AM
4

Book club. Free.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 11:27 PM
–

My ex was the equivalent of two additional children, but feel free to think I’m lying when I say I’m happy alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:03 PM
1

My bf is a feminist and he is rewarded by getting to be with me. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/26 07:47 PM
3

So a person who makes a mistake or a poor decision regarding a relationship should be doomed to repeat it forever because consistency is the overarching value?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 06:41 PM
5

This is being stupid, not being consistent. The lesson you learn from an abusive relationship is not to tolerate abuse in the future, not that you tolerate the same amount of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 05:46 PM
5

And you are free to pursue someone who has never changed, matured, evolved.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:23 PM
11

People don’t have universal behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:12 PM
10

People aren’t consistent with most things in life because they, and situations, change.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/26 02:09 PM
5

This is an insulting question. Should conditions that affect only men, like testicular or prostate cancer, legally qualify for workplace accommodations?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 02:38 AM
2

Nothing. I don’t care about past relationships. I hope he did everything, repeatedly, and got really good at it, so that I can reap the benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:16 PM
8

1 in 10 ten men aren’t going to be a liberal atheist, let alone any of the other qualities I want, so I don’t easily find compatible potential partners naturally. And perhaps I would expect less if I lived in some small tribe and I would learn to be more closeted about my wants. But mercifully I don’t have to. I consider myself compatible with only a tiny percentage.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:52 PM
1

I filter on politics, religion, interests, spelling, actually writing a profile, and whether they don’t present as a jerk or boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 03:13 AM
1

Definitely not popularity. I’m a total introvert, like the quiet guys, and definitely don’t want to deal with popularity. He has to be okay looking but not great looking because I don’t want to deal with other women wanting his attention or even people noticing us in any particular way when we’re out. I like to fly under the radar and just be left alone. I don’t find conventionally good looking guys appealing because it seems like it would be a PITA to date them and in no way worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 04:57 PM
1

Getting to know him and finding out we have a lot in common. It’s never that he’s popular or particularly good looking. But I need to have some level of interaction with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 02:27 AM
1

It is a neutrality as opposed to “no way”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 01:30 AM
2

But I said “potentially”.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 01:15 PM
3

It does dispute it because you specifically said that compatibility comes after attraction. I experience otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 12:50 PM
3

Not for lots of women. I am only potentially attracted to a man until I get to know more about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 12:39 PM
1

Because considering someone attractive and being attracted to them are two different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 12:33 PM
8

Not really pilled, but compatibility is the most important factor for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 03:31 AM
–

Yes. I’m not going to fake extreme interest if I’m not interested. I’m not going to lean in and gush about how interesting it is. Cues are verbal as well - word choice and enthusiasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 06:37 PM
21

Both. Some things I’m interested in. If I’m not, I’m not going to be rude. I’ll feign some interest to be polite. This is something I generally do with people and isn’t specific to a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:22 AM
1

Men are clamoring for both. I’ve not yet met up a man with no sexual interest, but they all want a partner, not hookups. Someone to spend evenings and weekends with and go on vacation with. They want to be partnered. So the issues are not lack of either interest on the part of the men. I’d say that the men are generally not appealing enough overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:03 PM
6

The issues are not a lack of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:23 PM
9

Men don’t prefer women under 25. By and large they prefer peers who they can relate to. Women of all ages have no issues on dating apps. I’m an example. Tons is men don’t want a woman who is going to want them to have more children, be establishing a career when they are retiring and wanting to travel. These are huge. And people divorce all the time. Getting married young is no assurance you won’t be single again at 30. There is no “locking down” by either gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:14 PM
5

What do you think could be done to actually help these men? I genuinely want to know? What could I possibly say that would actually be helpful?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:21 AM
1

Lots of women don’t want sex daily and aren’t going to never ever reject his touch. There doesn’t have to be some super rare and severe event happening to not want sex. This doesn’t mean they’re not attracted. Good luck to this guy finding a woman who meets these reqs.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 08:33 PM
6

This could just mean that she’s got super high libido and you’re convenient in the moment. Maybe it’s about her sex dive and not about you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 02:40 AM
2

I’d say he needs to meet a basic looks threshold as a prerequisite. Then she may or may not become attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:27 AM
1

This makes sense. Thanks. I’ve read that demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum, and that doesn’t sit right with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:02 PM
2

And if you feel no immediate attraction to anyone ever, look at a Calvin Klein underwear model and think “Yes he’s a 10 on society’s scale but I have zero sexual interest in him”. And it takes about 3 dates of getting to know someone to start growing attraction but you don’t need a long time or a deep emotional connection? Because I don’t need months nor a strong emotional connection. I just need to have an idea like we could be very compatible based on some amount of interaction, but more than …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:42 PM
10

So many guys seem to think that attraction needs to be an immediate raw primal thing or else she’s just attracted to what you provide and is settling for you. Or maybe I’ve spent too much time on r/WomenAreNotIntoMen.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 03:36 PM
20

I have used the term “semi Demi” to describe myself, when I really mean that I have zero attraction to anyone immediately, but it can grow to huge attraction over the course of a few dates. I don’t need a strong emotional connection to feel attraction, as would a true demisexual. So many guys on dating apps say that they want to meet up to see if there’s an attraction, but it doesn’t work that way for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 02:20 PM
3

More specific filters. I want to be able to filter out ENM and all political orientations other than liberal. As well as anyone who hasn’t written anything in the profile section where they write their own text. I have kids and not a lot of free time, so I want guys who aren’t okay with kids at home, or who are wanting a lot of time commitment to be able to filter me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:26 AM
3

It doesn’t matter because we are never forced to choose anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:33 PM
26

Bad sex eventually kills off desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 08:29 AM
–

What’s the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:24 PM
1

Sadly it is, because lots of men really suck at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:22 PM
1

Low IQ is taking my comment about “as long as the sex is fabulous” and twisting it into “women don’t care about sex”. With that amount of reach and contortion, no one can help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:21 PM
1

I don’t give it much of a thought. I never squirt, sounds gross. My bf told me my oral skills are in the top 3. I laughed. I’m great with that. I have TMJ issues and will never be the best. I am more than my sexual skills and our relationship is more than sex. I am compatible, not toxic, and every other gf became an ex for some reason. As long as the sex is fabulous for both of us, there’s so issue. Why do you choose to make yourself miserable? Of course there are people better at everything tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 07:24 PM
–

Not sure what that is. She’s not more attractive and was pretty overweight. I don’t view it as anything other than realizing you previously gave too much. Coupled with demanding people get more and more chill people get less, in general, in life. I went through the wringer with my ex and also put in less effort in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 04:30 PM
10

Because you disapprove of a woman who has a casual sexual encounter? Or you only approve of casual sexual encounters if you deem the guy to be of “low value”?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 08:03 AM
8

And his wife doesn’t give a shit about not having been hit on men she has no interest in. Are you able to understand that? I’m average looking and also don’t give a shit, because that’s not the kind of guy that interests me at all. I give zero fucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:58 AM
11

Speak it. I 100% agree. I prefer my professor partner who is very interesting to me and hot af to me. We are not all the same and some guys cannot wrap their little heads around that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:54 AM
3

Nope. I prefer a literature professor. These guys would not interest me in the least. The term “high-value” makes me vomit a little in my mouth. I don’t like getting dressed up and tying to look better. I like yoga pants. I wouldn’t ever want my photo taken by strangers when I’m out. I’m private and cherish flying under the radar. And I don’t trust men, because I don’t think any of them could resist an up-and-coming Victoria’s Secret model.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:50 AM
0

He’s just a guy you find attractive in the moment but don’t have any interest in getting to know or form a relationship with. Usually he happens at an earlier point in your life. But not all women have one time hookups and many only have relationship sex. Why are you all so crazily obsessed with this? Is it really so privileged to have one-time sex with a stranger? And how are you advertising that you want a one-time hookup? Maybe you project some aura of being a relationship sex guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:38 AM
3

No one does a worldwide search for a mate. Besides, no one more than an hour away is the best for me, because I’m not willing to move. A guy who doesn’t like me enough back isn’t the best for me. I picked this guy out of several thousand on Bumble, so he’s pretty damn my best. But if he was willing to take almost any woman, then we are nowhere near being in the same situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 12:30 PM
1

I generally date serial monogamists with some history of casual encounters. It’s not clear in what way I would be delusional about the nature of these relationships. A guy with no history of long-term relationships is a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:51 AM
1

Very true. It’s quite possible and plausible that he would expend more effort on someone he was more enthusiastic about. Thank you for your thoughts. They are confirmation of what I sometimes think myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:41 AM
1

There’s no “proof” of any type. And it’s not a preference, but an estimation of odds.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:37 AM
2

You remain celibate unless someone willingly has sex with you or you pay for it. I don’t view marital sex as transactional at all, but good relationships are built on a lot of factors, whereas a one-time hookup is completely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 05:35 AM
2

That’s a nonsensical conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:20 AM
1

Maybe I spend too much time on subs like these where guys complain about no women dating 80% of them The guy may not be desperate, but there’s a pretty strong chance he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:05 AM
4

But you’re going to be having sex the rest of your life with a husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:02 AM
1

Teaching and training is work. In general. You can say that with me. Lots of women agree. And it’s not players for the most part. It’s guys who have been in lots of relationships of various durations because that’s what lends itself to both exploration and solidifying skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:00 AM
7

True, and that’s why I’m bothered. At the same time, I understand he’s a different person as a result of his experiences, and is probably trying to protect himself more, so it’s not as simple as “He treated girl x better.” Lots of times I see people here talking about what someone did in the past with someone else, and they don’t seem to understand that the person has changed as a result of time, age, maturity, experiences, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:52 PM
1

I’m not competing in the usual sense of the word of making any active effort. And with competing you usually care to win. I don’t care about winning and I don’t even consider getting the relationship to be a form of winning. But a guy with options isn’t crazed and desperate and can recognize compatibility. Whereas a desperate guy probably doesn’t care anything about who I am as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:46 PM
1

It’s work. I’ve tried it and didn’t like it at all and wouldn’t do it again. I like bringing new things to him and having him bring new things to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 11:22 PM
2

No. Who would I be competing against in this scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:10 PM
2

Totally. I love being with someone who does something new (to me) that he learned from some other woman. Like wow. I don’t feel threatened by his past. Those relationships didn’t work out for whatever reason, or maybe it wasn’t even a relationship. I’m here now and we’re trying to build something and why not have the sex be as fun and interesting as possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:08 PM
5

My ex was a doctor and made over $300k. I don’t think that millionaire is that big of a leap. Lots of professionals have several million in retirement accounts. I work in finance and see how many people have that. My ex picked me because I was attractive and I was fiesty and I had lots feedback on his ideas he was wanting to turn into a book and he found me super smart and we could talk ideas for hours. We had lots in common. He could definitely have gotten a much more attractive woman. I’ll nev…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 10:04 PM
0

Nope. I feel like he’s taking me out of desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:28 PM
3

It’s hard to relate because a guy being willing to sleep with me earlier versus later doesn’t really work as a difference. I have had guys wait though, and I take it as them not wanting to come across as pushy or disrespectful. So if a guy in the past had sex with other women immediately, it wouldn’t bother me that he’s waiting with me. I wouldn’t construe it as a lack of attraction. I’ve dated guys who really waited, and it turned out that they were very self-conscious about something, and want…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:27 PM
6

Not really. Because I’m unique enough to be chosen due to being a great match for the guy. If there’s some kind of competition, I’m out. The other girl can have him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:09 PM
2

No. I want a man with skill that I don’t have to train. Someone with lots of experience and therefore lots of moves and tricks in his arsenal from having learned from other women It’s like hiring someone for a job who already has the necessary skills vs someone who needs training. I do not want to be teacher.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:07 PM
7

Guys are using the word “picked” in their replies, whereas I was more trying to convey a situation where they were just a default acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 09:05 PM
2

But I want to be chosen too.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:46 PM
2

Of course it answers your question. Women prefer men with experience because get to enjoy the results of other women’s labor.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:44 PM
6

I’m only talking about myself. It’s possible that a FWB was better looking but no need for that to have been the case. He may have been convenient and skilled and into the same things sexually, and just okay looking. I’ve had FWBs that weren’t that good looking. This obsession with better looking is weird. There are always people better looking. Oh well. That’s life. Spouse material is a much higher bar. I wouldn’t marry just anybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:23 PM
2

I’m here now. I wasn’t here before. It’s great that he has had experiences with prior girls because now, supposedly, he’s skilled.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 08:18 PM
13

Fascinating. I’ve never really thought about losing or winning versus other women. But i imagine more attractive women get treated better just because attractive people always get treated better in all aspects of life. But I guess I don’t care enough. I can’t ever imagine feeling some sort of win or feeling of being special over getting something that I know another woman didn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:17 PM
1

That men want to be picked and women don’t care? Not true, my friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 07:12 PM
26

Not surprising. They want to feel picked and special, while they view most women as interchangeable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:28 PM
10

I wouldn’t be marrying a man who was so obsessed with looks. And personality is a vague, meaningless term. So that comment would irk me. I go for guys who use language well. If he considered me his person, someone supremely compatible with him, then I’d be fine. That’s what I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 06:26 PM
16

I never really thought about it before spending time in this sub, but having had time to consider it, I should feel settled for. Whatever guy I’m dating probably would have been okay with any of a thousand other women and I’m sure lots were prettier than me. Why shouldn’t I be discontent? He’s with me because a more attractive option rejected him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:58 PM
11

Sounds like you want to be special, to be in some elite small group. Women don’t get that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:55 PM
13

What if it wasn’t a small group? What if she said the vast majority of men were super attractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:41 PM
40

What if a woman said to you, as she was ripping your clothes off on the first date: I’m really horny. I swiped right on hundreds of guys that I’d be really enthusiastic to fuck. Almost all of them looked really fuckable. You happened to be available tonight. Would you still be so enthusiastic to be hookup material?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:33 PM
3

Don’t know what you’re going on about. I’ve been ghosted by plenty of men. It’s by no means a woman thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 05:14 PM
–

Partner. I want an actual relationship. Best sex ever is usually short lived.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:49 PM
35

I completely agree. He swiped right on a thousand women and takes whoever bites. She isn’t special. She isn’t his first choice. He is settling for her. He’d rather be with Stacey or someone more closely approaching Stacey.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 04:10 PM
2

I understand. Ghosting is rude and cowardly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:16 PM
0

How so annoying? Lack of chemistry is just a fact of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:05 PM
-2

Perhaps it was just a lack of chemistry?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:23 PM
1

I don’t date them. But I don’t like them cluttering my messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 04:32 AM
2

Oh my. You don’t need to pay anyone’s bills. Bit of a nonsequitur there. I’m average looking and post wall, with kids, and very happy. It’s a blessing to not be more attractive, because you then have to fend off more vapid men. I like to just be left alone unless I’m on a dating app. I am accomplished, interesting, witty af, smart af, well off, with a great job, have some quite eclectic interests, and don’t even wear makeup because I don’t give a crap. I still get plenty of attention, and heavil…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:56 PM
1

Beauty and body care isn’t necessarily because of men. It’s a woman wanting to look her best for myself, to present her best self forward in the world. It’s because women are whole people. Men too often consider us all interchangeable. Any woman that looks good enough is acceptable. We are not just a face and a body. We are not the same as the equally attractive other women next to us. We want to be recognized and chosen for who we are, not just how we look.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:32 PM
2

I’ve mostly been on Bumble and have had so many guys swipe without even reading my profile. Granted, there are some that do. I used up the whole character limit in describing myself. I’m absolutely looking for someone with shared values, humor, interests who appreciates who I am, not that I’m one of the acceptable thousands who meet the minimum looks threshold.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:25 PM
2

Same. As a woman it aggravates me that so many men only seem to care what a woman looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:12 PM
6

One thing is her enthusiasm for having sex with him once they do. Does she initiate? Is she actively engaged? Does she touch you a lot in general? It’s so funny that men are so obsessed with being desired physically as the foremost priority, and women so much want to be chosen for their non physical characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:09 PM
1

For equality you could be as thirsty and selective as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 11:20 AM
–

No. As a taxpayer I don’t mind at all supporting what is primarily children in low income households - children who are poorer because a MAN abdicated his responsibility. I object to having to pay so much in taxes toward the criminal justice system, where about 93% of the inmates are men. This is sooo not fair to women. Judges, defense lawyers, prosecutors, correctional officers, room and board… WTF!?!?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 02:02 AM
–

That they pay for. Like men. That largely come from China. And that no one knows the % male vs female labor underlying.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:29 PM
–

Because rape and paying taxes are not comparable.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 09:27 PM
–

It really depends 100% on the other parent. A functional, reliable, reasonable coparent would be better than single parenting, but I ended up, increasingly over time, not having that. Phone call from the police who found my kids wandering, him bailing at the last minute picking them up from school where I had to race out of work or frantically call the neighbors, me dropping other plans to do the thing he had promised the kids but then failed to make happen… Yes, sometimes it’s easier to just ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:30 AM
1

Re your disagreement list: 1 is not a disagreement. Not all unwanted sexual advances are harassment. I don’t know any women who think this. 4 - don’t know what you mean. The accountability is that he can divorce her if he’s not happy. This goes in both directions. He can’t force her to have sex with him. The rest, yes, disagreement. I don’t see why anyone should be forced to entertain anything they don’t want. That’s not how interpersonal relationships work. I don’t need to give groups a chance …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:33 PM
–

I mostly worry about suppressed trauma and anger coming to the surface down the road. My kids have uncles and other relatives and coaches. They see other families in which they see good fathers and they see other single moms. I think they have plenty of male role models. And my son has commented to me on what type of husband he’ll be one day and how he’ll be different than his dad. So I think seeing the contrasts around him have at least been helpful in that regard. He is very aware and thoughtf…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:19 PM
–

Single parenting is hard. Parenting is generally hard. I’m raising my kids alone after their father had a mental breakdown, and have to say that it’s fine. I’m not broke, I have a very good career. And it’s easier to get things done than when their dad was in the picture. I’m just responsible for myself and them. Life is way more peaceful. I wouldn’t have chosen for him to be so absent, but I definitely would choose having the kids. I’m good with dating and intend to never marry again. This is m…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:06 PM
3

Seriously? This is a problem for men and therefore there is a ticking clock? And women have to be forcibly partnered off to make men happy? No, there is no “solution”. Too bad if men don’t like being single. Women are free agents, as are men, and get to refuse to date anyone they don’t want to date, as do men. You are not entitled to a woman. And if some fascist regime ever forced me into a household with a man, he’d better sleep with one eye open.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:11 PM
10

So women are forced into relationships by the government??? That’s the solution?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 09:23 AM
1

I never used that term. You are the vulgar and offensive one. Isn’t this conversation over yet?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:11 AM
3

Ah yes, I forgot about the posting rule and thought you were commenting on the post directly above yours. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 04:02 AM
1

If they agree, then you sound like a perfect match.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:50 AM
1

Your word choice is pretty offensive. Hope your narrow woman doesn’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:43 AM
1

Well, if you prefer the visual of being wider, then by all means date narrower women. You do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:29 AM
1

Well, if you’re tall then that tracks, but if you’re not, a tall woman may make you look smaller.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:18 AM
3

No. Women don’t mean that. What they mean is “I want X from a man who is attractive to me”. There’s no other way around it. She has to find him attractive. Since you asked, the majority of men are average to me. I would definitely find them more attractive if they had happened to have lots in common with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:16 AM
1

Assuming you were using my position in reverse, yes indeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:09 AM
3

Do you really think she’s saying “I want X from ugly men”?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:07 AM
6

Where is the demonization in that post? There is literally not one negative thing said about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 03:02 AM
1

If they prefer the visual of being larger, then yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 02:57 AM
1

I prefer to look smaller rather than larger. Like most women. My size is just fine. Again, thank you for your concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 02:48 AM
2

Not giant. Just bigger. And I’m just fine. I appreciate your concern though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 02:14 AM
1

Not a hippo because I’m not fat, but I definitely feel better about myself when I can’t wear the clothes of the guy I’m dating because they’re too big. You can believe me or not. I’ve dated guys the same height and guys skinnier and that makes me feel more like an Amazon.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:35 AM
1

Yeah, I guess I’m the only one who likes taller, bigger guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:29 AM
2

I think that taller men make women feel more feminine by being bigger. It’s not about protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 01:19 AM
4

Taller men make you feel less big and clunky.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 12:58 AM
1

I don’t see how it would help dating at all. In bad economic times people are more likely to stay or get together out of necessity, so it would affect relationships. But I don’t see it impacting dating much.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 01:35 AM
4

Not really. I can watch gay porn too and get into it. In watching straight porn I have no attraction to the guy at all. He’s just some rando. The act and the interaction are what is exciting. I can imagine my bf doing whatever it is to me. I can imagine what a woman who is being focused on feels like, regardless of who her partner is. Straight porn is always banging. It’s always focused on the guy doing what he wants. The woman is an afterthought. It’s all fake.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 07:06 PM
32

Have you ever stopped to consider that some subset of women who watch lesbian porn do so because the focus is on female pleasure? Straight porn generally involved a few fingers and licks and then hard banging. It’s all focused on the male’s pleasure. And given that most women don’t orgasm from PIV much of the moaning on her end appears to be for the benefit of the camera?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:36 PM
3

I never said that women don’t like and want sex too. And I was specifically not talking about casual flings. I said that a woman looking for a relationship will generally screen for other things before sexual compatibility. That doesn’t mean all do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 10:46 AM
1

35+ All 5 on Bumble
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 05:09 AM
1

Okay. He is attractive enough that a decent number of girls shoot their shot. That’s approaching. Why would a woman approach a man she knows nothing about other than his looks, if he’s not good looking? I don’t see any motivation at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:20 PM
0

My HS age son has lots of girls approach him and I hear the same from the other soccer moms. Women are NOT afraid to approach. If they’re not approaching, they’re just not interested enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:13 PM
1

Oral, anal, outercourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 09:08 PM
6

Your life? I have no idea. But the number of men on these subs and on dating apps looking for a relationship is crazy. I suppose they want stability, affection, someone who knows them very well, support, companionship, etc., as well as a sexual partner. Sex is just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:57 PM
10

Men are not the gatekeepers of relationships. Men are more wanting of relationships at this point in time than women. Men of all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:39 PM
2

Adding here that sexual compatibility is very important but there are other things that will make it not even necessary to think about sexual compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:37 PM
6

Sigh. Think that if you like.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:35 PM
12

Yes, but she’s not going to determine sexual compatibility first. Also, sexual compatibility can take longer to determine, whereas other things are an immediate dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:34 PM
17

But a woman looking for a relationship generally isn’t going to have sex before determining whether he is relationship material for her. It’s the reverse order.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:24 PM
4

And if that’s your point, that’s a different topic. OP wants banter, not questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 04:52 AM
5

Not the topic of the post. That said, Asking for gym pics is weird. Asking for dick pics is inappropriate. Asking about height, job, and reason for last breakup seem reasonable. If the OP was complaining about the nature of the questions, the replies would be different.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 04:29 AM
5

If these are your filters, then it makes sense to screen for them as early as possible. If someone thinks you’re a jackass, better for both of you that you part ways sooner rather than later. OP’s complaint was not about the nature or inappropriateness of the questions, but about being ghosted if the woman didn’t like the answer or didn’t get a quick answer - about the checkbox approach. You are commenting on the nature of the questions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 03:04 AM
4

Of course, because the vibing isn’t going to cut it down the line when you realize this person isn’t what you want because of fundamental incompatibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 12:13 AM
8

But what do you mean by “transactional”? I’m happy to answer a lot of questions beforehand so that a guy can not waste his time going out with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 11:57 PM
6

These are filters. It would be nice to have information important to you upfront so that you can then just concentrate on the witty banter. Otherwise you’re trying to glean the information over a longer time period and likely wasting time. My filters are different but it’s why I’d never engage with a random guy who approached me or a guy without a profile on an app.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 11:54 PM
4

Holy crap. You are obsessed with analyzing every nitty gritty minute detail.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 11:50 PM
–

Yes. It’s low value because all it means is that you, like nearly every other woman out there, meet a minimum looks threshold. This guy probably doesn’t know anything about you, what makes you interesting and unique, doesn’t think that you are more compatible than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 03:35 AM
3

It’s not an issue of her having a problem or not with casual sex. You can certainly tell the woman either sex immediately or no second date. Whatever, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 09:22 PM
12

No. Because she may fear the guy she wants to date will judge her for having sex too early. Whereas the guy who is just causal, she doesn’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks of her. I’d never have early sex with a guy I wanted to have a real relationship with. You very wrongly assume woman’s motives.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 08:32 PM
3

Sure, buddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 06:46 PM
2

Or make sure you make this a priority early in the relationship before it comes to a point of having to leave an otherwise perfectly good relationship. Or look on Fetlife before you’re in any relationship to see if anyone there is willing to indulge you. I actually think the best strategy is to look for an older woman on there. A young woman is just less likely to want to experiment with an older, inexperienced man. She’s got a boatload of college guy options. I get that it’s an unfortunate expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 04:03 PM
3

I don’t know that it’s good in terms of being practical. There aren’t that many 30 year old virgins and almost none who are going to be slutty with you before marriage. There’s no guarantee they’ll ever be willing to try the slutty stuff ever. And if you wait until after marriage you may find that one of you loves certain things that the other hates and you’re in an unhappy situation. Personally, I believe that sexual compatibility should be determined before marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:50 PM
3

Yes, I understand. But what’s your point with this? None of it means that a wife should suddenly be expected to provide this experimentation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:41 PM
–

Not relevant. Your care of your own child has zero to do with your sexual satisfaction. There seems to be an underlying idea here that care of the shared child is the woman’s sole responsibility, that his changing the diaper is a favor to her, and she’s not returning the favor by letting him stick his dick in her ass. But I must be wrong because WTF???
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:31 PM
3

On average the 20 year old, but this isn’t relevant. There are still women in their 30s who enjoy anal, threesomes, whatever. And if these activities are what you want to do then you need to find an amenable woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:28 PM
–

Why should a man change his own child’s diaper? Is this actually your question?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:22 PM
–

Then find someone to try it with and decide whether you like it or not, before you commit to a life partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:19 PM
–

Why would you choose to wait for some life partner that may or may not appear when you can figure out what you like right now in college? You need to already know what you like in order to pick the life partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:17 PM
–

Then don’t marry the woman. No one is forcing you to.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:15 PM
4

Of course not. Literally it’s the opening of a conversation. The guy can message back if he feels so inclined.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:08 PM
2

Cool. Glad you agree that women are just as much protectors.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:58 PM
6

Let me rephrase as you seem confused. Women are just as capable as men of picking a safe neighborhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:37 PM
3

Woman here. I swipe right and send the first message on Bumble if we match. I don’t in any way consider this chasing. Chasing involves some sort of desperation and the other party running away. There’s really no rejection to fear. All women can do this, if they choose to.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 01:02 PM
7

I am just as capable as a man of picking a safe neighborhood. And do you think that moms don’t constantly take into account the safety of their kids with every decision they make?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 12:49 PM
3

Ridiculous. I’ve never been interested in a Chad. I like sensitive, intellectual guys who read extensively and talk about books. Enough with this Chad crap. Jesus.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 01:35 AM
7

If someone finds a friendship to be one-sided then they can end the friendship. I’d never call a male friend for car trouble. I’d take it to the mechanic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 05:53 PM
1

You have no idea how many guys out there don’t have a lot of free time. Either it’s crazy work hours, or 50-50 parenting with attending kids’ sports or other activities on non-parenting days. Or even coaching sports multiple nights a week. My lack of time isn’t ever the issue with the guys I date.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:50 PM
4

Of course we talk about these things. Feelings and concerns are at the heart of what it is to be human. Are we supposed to talk about superficial stuff? Trauma dumping is something different.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:29 PM
12

My female friends are smart, creative, fun and witty. I enjoy talking to them and doing things with them. We have lots in common. I don’t need attention, validation, or a receptacle for trauma dumping. This is just silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 06:25 PM
2

True. And I use the word “date” loosely. Lots of people remarry but I wouldn’t. Not would I cohabitate.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:38 PM
2

That’s fine but kids are kids from 0 to 18 and most people don’t want to go a decade plus without some type of love life. I think it’s good for kids at some point to see their parent as a whole person and not just as their parent. But to each his own.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:30 PM
3

This. As a divorced woman with kids, there are boatloads of divorced guys with kids who are very willing to date someone like me. We both understand that the kids always come first. I have zero involvement from their dad, so I am in effect a single mom. It does not seem to impact me. Also, I constantly see comments about nearly all the guys being taken once you reach a certain age, that a woman has lost her chance. This is BS. People are constantly cycling in and out of relationships and marriag…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:29 AM
5

No. If a woman wants to have an active coparent and doesn’t get that, she doesn’t like it. But abandoning a child is wrong and he is legally financially liable because the law pins him where it can. But what you write has nothing to do with the OP’s question.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 11:21 AM
6

I have been happy to treat my partner when I was the one earning more. Marriage is a partnership. It makes sense for some amount of sharing to occur.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:54 AM
13

That men don’t like it doesn’t make it bad. What, inherently, is the problem with a woman enjoying sex and having a lot of it. What she gets is doing something that she enjoys and chooses. Not everyone lives their life trying to appeal to some subset of the male population.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 01:49 AM
7

No. I do expect him to save the kids. I’d do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:13 PM
–

I completely agree. I always look for my best partner, but am horrified that men seem to view women as interchangeable, swipe right on nearly everyone, and don’t appear discerning at all. I want to be chosen for the whole person that I am. Many guys that swipe on me have nothing in common with me and I can only chalk it up to my having met their minimum looks requirement. I’m decent looking, but my looks are the least interesting thing about me. I need to be with someone who recognizes how fabul…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 01:57 PM
1

Kindness may be the overall base characteristic, but in the actual relationship, effort, consideration, and attentiveness really matter. I’ve found it impossible to date to find someone who maintains these past the initial phases. I’ve about given up because I’m so tired of being the one putting in the vast majority of the effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:09 AM
–

I agree. There is lots more progress to be made.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:01 AM
–

Then it’s progress that more people go into fields traditionally not associated with their gender, despite the difficulties.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:32 PM
1

Haha. And some people can’t understand the concept of a person speaking for themselves. Difficult, I know. Keep trying, hon.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:29 PM
–

The question was about benefits. Men getting a larger percentage of custody is a benefit. Divorce is an unknown. If people were previously forced to stay together and unhappy, then the increase is a benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 10:12 AM
–

We’ll have to disagree then. The upward trends predate men’s rights groups and are also related to other consequences of feminism, such as more women in the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 10:02 AM
–

Female engineers complain of the same. Do you consider anything short of full sameness in all respects to not be progress?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 10:00 AM
–

And women can have a hard time in engineering for the same reason. That doesn’t negate the fact that progress has been made.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:46 AM
–

The increase is the result of feminism. That there are some groups opposing it doesn’t negate that. You will never get everyone to agree. The numbers speak for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:45 AM
–

In the U.S there has been an increase in the percentage shared child custody arrangements and an increase in the percentage of custodial fathers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:35 AM
–

Increased acceptance of men into professions traditionally held by women, such as nursing and teaching, resulting in increased numbers of men into these fields. As well, increased acceptance of, and ability to be, a SAHP. The number of stay-at-home dads has doubled since the 80s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:30 AM
–

And a lot do care. If people don’t it speaks very poorly of them as a person. Same for anyone who doesn’t care about another group’s rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:23 AM
–

In the U.S. there has been a significant decrease in the amount of alimony awarded overall, and an increase in in the number of women paying alimony.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:11 AM
–

What tangible benefits do white people get from caring about black people’s rights? Why should I care?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 09:08 AM
1

Masters in statistics from the KU Leuven, but whatever. 😂🤣 You pursue women you think are crazy, probably without benefit of a vasectomy. And you lie and defraud and take pride in it. Because you know your sorry self would be rejected by women you think are far beneath you. In terms of the patheticness distribution, you are in the far right tail. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 12:13 AM
1

Nope. I refer to myself only. You are the one bringing up irrelevant distributions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 11:04 PM
27

Exactly. Some people think that alimony is just an unfair given, when it is specifically granted to allow a SAHP time and resources to re-enter the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 09:46 AM
2

Liberal here raised by conservative parents. You don’t necessarily adopt your parents’ politics. People are able to think for themselves. I grew up, saw how women and other minority groups were treated, and found my own path.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:57 AM
3

I myself am not the distribution. The majority of any distribution that is not me does not apply to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:50 AM
5

No, I do not watch feminist training videos.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:49 AM
2

You think women gain by voting for conservative leaders who vote against women’s rights? Nice try.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:48 AM
3

I vote for non-conservative LEADERS as in the ones that make the laws that affect women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:57 PM
9

The protection we need right now is from conservatives. Who helped or did not help enfranchise women 100 years ago is not relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 10:55 PM
14

Absolutely. Never could I ever be so pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:07 PM
12

I know. It’s shocking. I can’t imagine how fucked in the head I’d have to be to pretend to be conservative to land some conservative douchebag.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:06 PM
4

And liberal women disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 09:03 PM
10

Well I’m not a distribution. But again, if you’re so offensive that you have to lie about your core self in order to land a woman, that’s on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:55 PM
15

Politics are values and your values are everything. Shame you have to lie to present yourself as less awful than you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:53 PM
3

Hon, you don’t know me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:49 PM
9

The protection we need is from the conservatives.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:39 PM
21

It’s really not that easy to do. You have no idea how I approach this.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:38 PM
31

I always assume the moderate means conservative on dating sites. And even men who self identify as liberal, I make sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 08:24 PM
11

Because women who don’t want kids generally are born to women who did want kids. It’s a preference. Because women who don’t, don’t necessarily tend to cluster in one family. One sister wants kids, another doesn’t and wants to be the “cool aunt.”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 01:15 AM
7

I don’t see it being genetic at all. Is there some evidence for this?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/25 11:54 PM
2

Huh? I knew them and we were friendly but there was nothing else between us, so there wasn’t any choosing going on at that point. After some deeper convos about things I am passionate about, I started viewing them differently and they became very attractive to me and we started dating. And it would never be a question of choosing poorly because he was always a good guy, not just appealing to me in a romantic sense. Even now my sisters don’t think the guys I date are attractive. Why would I care?…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 09:56 PM
2

My perception changed, which I wouldn’t consider “clouding”. Attraction is all about your reaction to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 09:35 PM
1

No. I was never attracted to the second group, just acknowledged that they met objective attractiveness standards. A guy with a sleazy sheen no longer looks as attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 09:32 PM
9

I’ve had guys become very physically attractive to me that I originally thought were on the uglier side of neutral. It was his talking about literature and poetry that totally swept me up and it changed how I viewed him physically. And on the reverse side I’ve met guys who I thought were good looking, but they were obnoxious or otherwise unpleasant, and I came to view them as physically creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 06:52 PM
2

People often have much different criteria for friendship than a partner. I have a male friend I could never date because he’s always late and too wishy washy. I have friends that I have certain things in common with, but not enough for a relationship. Friendship with men is a lesser bar for me, by far.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:44 AM
3

It’s not a question of “considering him”. If she’s not attracted to him, she’s not attracted to him. What exactly is she supposed to consider? If she can talk herself into being attracted?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:42 AM
2

Looks don’t necessarily create butterflies though. An average looking guy who is witty with word play and has my politics has a decent chance of giving me butterflies. An objectively hot guy who doesn’t like to read is just not going to do it for me AT ALL. Woman are not all the same, and looks are not end-all, be-all for all of us. “Personality” to me is too vague of a word to be meaningful.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:36 AM
2

Well then don’t be friends with women. My women friends give me support, an ear, or advice as needed, and vice versa. We have fun going out together to eat or mutually enjoyed activities. I really enjoy their conversation. I find them interesting and engaging. If you aren’t feeling this with someone, then by all means don’t waste time with them. I believe it’s so important to find “your people.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:26 AM
1

Lying about what? That attraction requires butterflies and isn’t a checklist of good enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:16 AM
1

What does a “better friend worth the time” involve? If the woman wasn’t a good enough friend to begin with, he could have already done that. There’s no reason to stay friends with someone who doesn’t treat you as a true friend back.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:14 AM
0

Or you can complain and not deal with it. What do you expect the rest of us to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 01:11 AM
1

Attraction requires butterflies in the stomach and there’s no recipe for that. It’s either there or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 11:48 PM
4

It has nothing to do with being a dancing clown. Is the conversation interesting? Do you enjoy your time and activities together? Why on earth would you be friends with or in a relationship with someone you find boring?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:57 PM
4

Not wanting to date someone does not imply being “not good enough.” Attraction doesn’t work on a scale like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 10:48 PM
21

Sexual health refers to lack of medical issues for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 05:41 PM
1

So true. I never experience visceral attraction ever. I can identify that a particular guy is model hot, but I have zero attraction to him. Like a model hot woman. Attraction arises and over a pretty short amount of time I become wildly attracted. These guys seem to think that in all the couples out there where the guys aren’t Calvin Klein underwear models, that his woman isn’t attracted. It’s baffling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 12:16 PM
2

You need to make friends and engage in social activities if you want to meet women naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:00 PM
0

There’s a big gulf between having a stranger approach you and ask you out, and having someone invade your social circle to get close to you because they want to date you. Especially when lots of guys want to date you and act like they want to be friends. Is there any way to talk to someone at a shared activity, some group event? If you are in college, some campus club?Get to know the person a bit so you are acquainted but not outright friends? I guess this is hard spot to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 12:12 PM
1

So your pleasure in getting her off is the most important? It doesn’t have to even get her off. It can just feel amazing. That’s a problem for you because it’s not on your terms? You sound pretty selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 12:44 AM
1

He refers to women being “ran through” as “cavernous”.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 12:36 PM
9

I see that commenters here aren’t understanding the point you’re making with your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:22 AM
4

Men already know that women largely don’t orgasm from PIV. Is that an inadequacy as well? You seem to be suggesting that we lie about the truth. In reality people tend to do things that contribute to the sexual satisfaction of their partner. OP in this case is fine with what they’ve decided to do sexually. If there is something that his partner can do to make him feel “Wow this feels omg amazing” then that’s between them to discuss. It’s the men in the comments that are upset on OP’s behalf and …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 10:02 AM
2

Not really. Just because bigger can feel better doesn’t mean you need that all the time. Also, technique, duration, interest, variation, communication, attentiveness, etc. are all things that greatly affect the quality of sex. Besides, I don’t think such a question would be honest replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 04:03 AM
2

You choose to feel bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:34 AM
2

And if you care for your partner then why shouldn’t you be getting over your insecurities? Why is it on her? And if you know she really likes something additional, are you going to stick your head in the sand and pretend otherwise so that you can avoid dealing with your insecurities?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:33 AM
3

She doesn’t want another guy. She wants her guy. He’s the one she’s supposedly crazy attracted to. He is the one who turns her on. Given that, why can’t they both do what feels great? Why not supplement nature when and if they choose? There are literally thousands of toys out there to improve pleasure. Why not vary it up? My guy loves to use a vibrating cock ring. Why get upset that my vagina is not “enough”? Why not just lean into it and let him enjoy the enhanced sensation and be happy that he…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 01:35 AM
6

I’m sure you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:09 PM
–

How embarrassing for you not to know the basics that sex doesn’t increase vagina size. Generally pushing a newborn’s head out doesn’t increase it either. Spoken like a true incel.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:05 PM
4

Sounds good. You find a smaller pussy, she finds a bigger dick. Everyone’s happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:02 PM
9

Sorry to break it to you, but a vagina isn’t a gaping hole and I’m sorry some men have such fragile egos. I know you wish that your dicks were magical, and the fact that most women don’t orgasm from them really seems to touch a nerve. I’d never date someone who didn’t enjoy toys on both ends as pleasure enhancement. Only little men are threatened by them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:01 PM
16

No. Because being with the other person, touching them, is what adds to the experience. He could also use a sleeve, and then they could possibly both get off together.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:42 PM
2

It is what it is. You accept it, break up, or the guy doesn’t get to finish. Which is it going to be?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:37 PM
13

Whatever sex toys help us maximize the experience. Am I supposed to leave him in the cold because of fragile feelings?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:35 PM
21

Whatever you both enjoy is what you should go with. A guy who denies his partner enhanced pleasure because of some wounded pride or what not really isn’t much of a partner. It really just an awful position to take. For some women bigger feels a lot better and there’s no getting around that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 09:34 PM
14

Women here are constantly told that their prime is late teens. But we’re also told that women have it so easy with dating. Why would any be complaining. And when is a man’s prime?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 08:37 PM
1

Maybe you should screen for this before asking them out?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:55 PM
1

The women I know would pay their share. So it’s not a thing. You must know different people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:42 PM
52

Why do I not do 99.999999% of things? They don’t interest me. And having sex with a guy I’m not attracted to is beyond revolting to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:35 PM
1

Thank you for the clarification. I guess I would be looking for other types of questions to flip the script but don’t know what they could possibly be. To me, asking a guy to delete his porn is a few steps away from asking him to block his female friends. It’s not who I am as a person and I feel presents me as controlling and insecure. And I wouldn’t want to date someone who is okay with dating someone controlling and insecure.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:40 AM
7

So she can have as much sex as she wants as long as she’s single. That’s what you want? Okay…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:30 AM
4

The overturning of Row v Wade makes women’s lives more difficult, creates more unwilling parents, increases the burden on social welfare programs. The effect this has on an unpartnered male will really be on his taxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:20 AM
3

How do you propose that forced monogamy will work? Men can be upset, vote right, and turn to religion all they want. They still aren’t going to be able to strong-arm women into being with them. And there are still so many younger guys getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 01:17 AM
1

Usually he doesn’t treat me well / make effort because: 1) he’s simply self-absorbed (but clearly trying to fake being not so in the early stages), such as getting super absorbed in his hobbies to the point of ignoring me, not remembering things I’ve told him or when my birthday is 2) him being super insecure about his experience or dick size (again this insecurity isn’t obvious early on) 3) getting scared and running as soon as he realizes I really like him back How do these things relate to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 05:17 PM
2

I’m not on IG. I use dating apps. There isn’t any way to tell whether a guy will treat you well long-term. What do you suggest? Is there some tell? I would love to know. I’ve dated a special ed teacher, thinking he would be more compassionate; single dads; guys who volunteer at animal rescues; guys who have a history of long-term relationships. What am I supposed to be looking at? What questions am I supposed to ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 01:24 PM
1

Well if your mom didn’t get her one then she’s a very atypical mother. But yes, the woman gets blamed because it’s expected that she will pick up her partner’s (husband’s) deficiencies.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 12:14 PM
3

When his side of the family doesn’t get phone calls and gifts, usually SHE gets blamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 04:57 AM
3

She would be doing this things just for herself if she were single. She wouldn’t be organizing his social life, remembering his family members’ occasions, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:26 AM
1

What have you never seen ? Women having actual problems dating someone who doesn’t present as a Chad or bad boy? There are plenty. I’ve had so many unfulfilling experiences. Don’t be thinking that other guys are necessarily an improvement. Also, women don’t need to justify any decision on who they date. It’s their personal call.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 02:21 AM
0

Women fail at all things, like all people. I’ve failed so much at dating as well. I’ve picked guys who seem sweet and sensitive and intellectual, only to have the relationship derail by mental illness, huge lack of effort, crippling insecurity, inability to be open emotionally, and them ghosting me out of the blue. Dating a non-Chad, non-bad boy is no walk in the park.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:58 PM
8

Perhaps it’s an issue of your social group. My friends worked hard to get an education and a career and consider themselves independent. A man paying all the time is absolutely not a marker of status. If the guy is considerate, pays attention, gets her favorite flowers, that’s the stuff that makes us sit up and take notice. Assuming she’s earning decent money, why isn’t she contributing? It’s simply not fair. That irks me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:20 AM
14

No one talks much about who pays. We’re all well-earning professionals and pay about half of the time. I would disapprove of a woman who let a man pay all the time, unless there was a big income disparity. No one thinks less of a woman who doesn’t have everything paid for. That’s absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 12:10 AM
–

I do the same professional job as lots of men. Neither I nor the guy at desk next to me is required to have a spouse and children. If we do, and decide jointly with our spouse that the spouse will be a SAHP, then we are required to be the family breadwinner. Where’s the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 10:10 PM
0

Different women have different preferences. You seem confused as to why different women say different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 06:15 PM
1

There is enough funding and enough people working in specific fields to attack so many issues at the same time. The amount of government money wasted on stupid research is astounding. I do survey work on mTurk and Prolific and the number of government grants awarded for what I think are idiotic topics is astounding.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:53 PM
3

It was approved as an acne medication. But it also appears to be effective for male and female pattern hair loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:50 PM
1

The amount of U.S. government funding for non medical/scientific research is astounding. Anyone registered with Amazon’s mTurk or Prolific? I’m horrified at the useless research being funded in other disciplines. Quality of life medical research is important. Acne, alopecia, mobility, etc. Hair loss can be devastating. I’d only be interested in scientific research on whether women dismiss this. A random extraction of Internet comments is worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 12:47 PM
23

Plenty of women have androgenic alopecia. It’s not just a male issue. I don’t know where you’re reading, but I believe most women support this research.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/25 03:38 AM
1

Hmm. I’ve honestly never noticed but I don’t pay attention either and never go out with the intention of meeting new people. I’m just focused on the people I’m with. I guess I don’t know what women do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:17 PM
1

Cosmo is not an original source. And in this case nor is the Guardian.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 09:14 PM
1

That’s the same source, different write ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:47 PM
1

Even weirder I’m in the same area. I mentioned book clubs and ballroom dancing as those are my activities and I’m familiar with lots of women involved with them. I don’t know that single women hang out anywhere in particular. I’d say they do things with friends based on shared interests, and whether those friends are single or partnered is not a factor. So any group of women will likely be a mix.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 02:34 AM
1

No, not at all. Women have deeper and stronger social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 02:11 AM
1

If this is true then people need to develop a social circle. Engage in activities you enjoy, meet like-minded people, interact with neighbors, volunteer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 12:38 PM
2

Weird. I don’t know where you are but I have so many friends in book clubs consisting of women in that age group. I’ve found ballroom dancing to always be lacking men. There are some couples, but plenty of women do it alone and leave their partners home because they have no interest. There are also lots of single women. Women end up learning how to lead due to the lack of men. Aside from that, Meetups for a common interest is how I’d go I was looking to meet new people. I’ve had luck with hiking…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 02:13 AM
1

Adoption is a huge trauma for children, even when adopted by a wonderful family. You totally fail to take this into account. Children are not things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:48 AM
2

But book clubs and ballroom dancing are where the women are and where men are scarce.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:13 AM
1

Ah. I was trying to reply to another commenter talking about bitter older women. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:10 AM
4

In the US alimony at this point is largely rehabilitative and of limited duration. I got it after being a SAHM for many years. I would be earning so much more money now if I had never left the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 01:08 AM
7

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:25 PM
15

All the more reason to drop the tradwife narrative and choose a partner with similar income.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:23 PM
24

There nothing lonelier than being in a wrong relationship. If you have close relationships with family and friends, why would you be lonely?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:21 PM
11

I’m older, still get a shit ton of attention, am casually dating, and not bitter. I actually don’t know any women who are bitter. I am definitely happier not cohabitating, not having finances entwined, and having lots of free time. I do enjoy having someone to go out with, snuggle with, and have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:19 PM
1

The legal system only makes you pay for your kids, not be an involved parent. Actual parenting requires sacrifice of multiple types for for > 18 years. Are you saying that men are more apt to jump in front of a bullet for their woman? How often does this play out?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 07:25 PM
2

I seriously dislike a bulky physique. I have never dated a guy with one. Not everyone has the same preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 09:42 AM
3

If the marriage is crappy then the other partner is likely not taking their vow seriously to begin with. Marriage is not a “You made a vow and now you’re stuck forever and I can do what I want” situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:37 PM
5

Dismantling your life is a major trauma. If course there is incentive to stick with a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:31 PM
6

People don’t leave marriages as soon as things get bad. They leave when things stay bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:28 PM
1

They want a quality commitment, not a crappy one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 01:26 PM
4

Sounds like a quote some guy pulled out of his ass. Women are much less likely to abandon their kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:00 PM
4

That women more often initiate the divorce process does not mean they are less committed. It may simply mean that they’re the ones who do most of the paperwork. Also, it’s the cheated on partner who usually initiates the process, not the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:58 AM
1

The price of higher education has skyrocketed. People have way more student loans than 1972. Housing prices increased and then crashed in 2007 leaving many underwater with mortgages. Global warming has increased the number of natural disasters and increased numbers of people have lost their houses. Kids’ activities have exploded in number and cost since 1972. Whereas everyone used to do a cheap rec program, now parents are under pressure to pay thousands per kid per year for travel programs that…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:48 PM
1

It’s not evident that it’s a statistically significant change. And even if so, there are too many possible reasons to speculate as to why.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 10:04 PM
1

Yes. And the big drop is from 2018 to the 2021 data point. The prior years have a very negligible change.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:56 PM
1

Data from 2021. I attribute it to the mothers handling the bulk of childcare during the pandemic. The stress of online learning plus kids acting out from lack of socialization and all their activities being cancelled. All this affected moms more than dads, therefore moms became more stressed and less happy. And for women without kids, perhaps they were more affected than men with the social distancing and lack of meeting up with friends. I don’t think you can extrapolate pandemic-era data to non…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:03 PM
–

I work in accounting. Not a focus on looking or acting a certain way and EVERYONE asks for help. It’s a field where people generally don’t pretend to know things when they don’t, easily say that they don’t know, and are always conferring with others on how to do things. We get along great. There is huge mutual respect. No one is ostracized. Lots of conversation and banter in the office. Everyone is welcome at happy hour. I have no idea how you live that things are so different.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:49 PM
2

The male loneliness epidemic wasn’t so much of a thing and I don’t thing the 60%/30% thing was true at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 06:37 PM
2

The first link goes to a paper with data up to 2006. The second stops in 2021 and is largely about the decrease in women’s happiness at the time of COVID, which is unsurprising.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 06:17 PM
2

The dataset is from 19 years ago. And things have changed since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:59 PM
–

Like what? Not being able to pee standing up? I’m seriously interested. I would like to have more free time. I would like more vacations abroad. But overall I’m the happiest I’ve been. Should I regret getting out of a bad marriage? Should I regret the kids that are the light of my life? What am I missing?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:50 PM
8

It’s worked out overall because a SAHM is trapped unless she finds someone else to maintain her should the marriage fail. No job skills, no work history, no earnings going into Social Security, no 401(k). She’s completely dependent. Working outside the home gives you so many long-term protections that working inside the home doesn’t. Whatever the downsides are, having autonomy over your own life is paramount.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:46 PM
4

This is what the linked paper said. Go complain to the authors about their poor critical thinking skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:41 PM
9

The corrected article shows a big drop in women’s happiness during the pandemic. Is this surprising? I had a 10 year old having to do long division typed out in text boxes who was always trying to game in a different window, and a 5 year old who couldn’t yet read who was needing to use a Chromebook for everything and needed my constant intervention. They had to be in separate rooms because of the echo and I was constantly running back and forth. Every mother I know was stressed during COVID.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:32 AM
5

This graph just shows that women’s happiness dropped dramatically during the pandemic. Is this meaningful? Having to balance work from home with multiple kids doing online learning in different rooms or taking care of little ones who no longer had daycare, lack of socialization and activities, generally being stuck at home with no end in sight. I don’t find this remotely surprising. My kids did not do well with COVID and that was an additional struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:30 AM
7

Different study. This one from the OP shows that women are still much happier than not happy <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 04:07 AM
3

No. Women as a group are not generally unhappy. What is the source for this? If you look at the tables, women over time are much more likely to say that they are generally happy than not. There is simply a dip.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:09 AM
4

Yes, the paper can present the numbers, but the reasons are not as clear cut.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:05 AM
1

The 100s and 1000s of suitors are definitely not a “wonderful assortment”.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:03 AM
7

This article specifically discusses women working and doing second shift parenting AND having to do all the emotional labor of the family, while men skate by with “helping” and “babysitting” their own kids. It’s the imbalance that creates the decreased happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 03:02 AM
5

I don’t think you read the article. Women have not “become miserable”. Where did you pull that from?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 02:59 AM
6

This paper points to a reason as the women having to do the emotional labor for the house while working and child rearing, while men “help” around the house and “babysit”. It is completely untrue that “no one is happy right now”. There is no support for that at all. I am happier now divorced and single parenting than when I was married.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 02:57 AM
–

The ability to toil in the fields or engage in the hunt? Which millenium are you living in? Did humans actually have writing back then? I have the competence to do everything I want. I have a great profession, keen intellect, multiple degrees, fabulous kids, a home, fun hobbies, lots of skills, wonderful friends and extended family. That I can’t spear a bison is something I’m totally okay with. No idea what you’re talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:13 AM
-1

Until men get equality dealing with pregnancy, childbirth, gestational diabetes, acid reflux, hyperpigmentation, stretch marks, varicose veins, sagginesss, stress incontinence, pelvic floor issues and all stuff that effs up reproducing women, women decide abortion. Men want an out that would leave them not “paying” their fair share.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 10:20 PM
2

But what use is “date someone who you’re not interested in and not attracted to”? That’s useless. If you can’t get what you want, you get emotional support from friends, because that’s what friends do when life presents disappointments. And you stay single and complain that you can’t get what you want, if you want to complain. Taking something you don’t want is a complete non-issue. It would never be mentioned.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 10:08 PM
1

Not at all. I was married for 15 years and have two kids under 18. The idea that people only get divorced 18 years or more after having kids is absurd. Further, lots of divorce is about compatibility, not one person being “bad.” And everyone has their deficiencies. Dividing people into good and bad is ridiculously oversimplistic. Are we in preschool?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 08:42 PM
6

And mothers who are single includes all those divorced moms of any age who aren’t currently in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:30 PM
4

If she wasn’t attracted to him, she wasn’t attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:28 PM
2

If a woman wants to go after a guy you think is out of her league, what’s it to you? You think she should pursue something she doesn’t want? Maybe she has fun with Chad in the short term, and that’s enough. Not everything needs to be lifelong. Also, what a person wants very often changes as they get older. And if she never finds a lesser guy that does it for her, she can stay single. Women are free to do what they want, and don’t need your advice or policing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:22 PM
7

Ambitious doesn’t mean rich, but it does generally mean higher income. As a professional I want a guy who doesn’t earn less than me. I want to have a certain comfortable lifestyle. That’s by far not the only criteria in a guy, but I’m not going to be happy with a broke kazoo player. Plenty of guys understand that such women are not necessarily gold diggers.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 12:28 AM
14

I want a man who appreciates my intellect and professional accomplishments. It’s a compatibility issue. Of course I also want someone who expects me to be a person of good character. But there’s more than that. And of course I didn’t get multiple degrees and a professional certification to impress men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:38 PM
6

Nope! I’m a bit older than you and love being able to screen for important things prior to even initiating contact. I’m an introvert but don’t have trouble talking one-on-one to new people. I like the efficiency of dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 03:22 AM
2

Thanks. I don’t really get the appearance thing. Unless someone looks sloppy or unkempt. But I’m someone who doesn’t wear makeup or uncomfortable shoes. I live in yoga pants. A woman who puts a lot of effort into her appearance might more want a guy who does the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 01:46 AM
1

Not all women are that vapid. I like geeky, dad-bod guys who can quote Shakespeare. Not outright ugly guys. Just not super good looking by conventional standards. A guy dressed to the nines and wearing Jimmy Choos would be an instant turnoff, but he’d have to tell me about the name brands because I wouldn’t recognize them. Women are not all the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 01:28 AM
2

It could go either way, but imagining it isn’t as satisfying as watching real people enact it. Yeah. We make the best of not being terribly imaginative. Not everyone is as fortunate as you. We’re perfectly happy with our porn though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:27 PM
2

We’re supposed to close our eyes and imagine the scenario? How is that better than watching other people do it? What can I say? We’re accountants and not that imaginative. Not everyone is as fortunate as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:34 PM
1

I disagree. I have inner ear problems that impede scuba sex. Watching porn is the only alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:24 PM
2

Nah. He just wants something different at times. My bf is plenty attracted to me, we have lots of great sex, we watch porn together, we watch porn separately. No problem. Also though, we’re not ever going to have scuba sex, and we’re not ever going to do it in a public gloryhole, so for those and other scenarios, porn is the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:06 PM
1

I literally did not equate anything to morality. In my little part of the world, 4 guys in at my office in their 20s got married this past year, 3 to women and one to a man. They have no hostility to women. I see relationships everywhere. And the hostile men are just online.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 02:38 AM
1

I never said anything about these qualities being moral. You invented that. And I’m not talking about billionaires. You seriously think only billionaires end up with partners? I’m taking about a much larger swath of the population. There are no trends that only billionaires get wives. Plenty of guys get wives. Plenty of guys will continue to get wives. That there are more unpartnered men now than previously is not the catastrophe you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:44 AM
1

I just don’t see how my quality of life would be decreased. And, again, if the only help I’m able to get in a bad situation is a guy who will help me in exchange for sex, no thank you. Do you even realize how sick and twisted that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:11 AM
1

It really is. As long as the top tier of men continue to be the reasonable human beings they are, they will not tolerate their mothers, wives, sisters, and especially daughters to be treated badly due to their gender. It doesn’t matter how frustrated the frustrated are. They’ll never be the ones holding the power. As long as your fellow men don’t fall in line with you, you’ve got nothing. Your biggest impediment is your other men. You think going forward that no man will land a woman and every s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:07 AM
3

But here you are saying that everything’s going to hell because men will no longer help me, and I’m struggling to understand in what way men voluntarily help me now that would ruin my life if they stopped. If I become homeless I can no longer count on a man helping me in exchange for sex. That’s not the huge loss you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:24 PM
2

No, it doesn’t. Your logic is ridiculous. A man will hire me because I’m friggin smart and educated and do just as good of a job as a guy, with less arrogance. My company is comprised of partners of both genders. Your assumption that hostility towards women will skyrocket is wishful thing. Plenty of men will continue to be partnered, and those will be the higher status ones. And the ones who are blissfully happy with their robot girlfriends have no reason for any hostility at all. Your idea of b…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:06 PM
–

So much this.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:14 PM
–

I had a PE teacher at my all-girl HS spend a crap ton of time talking to us about the rules of football so that we would be able to talk to boys. Instead of us actually doing some physical activity ourselves. I didn’t pay much attention then and still don’t know how football works.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:11 PM
2

I’m fine. No worries.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:21 PM
6

It’s fine if we’re nonexistent to men to offer to help us because they want sex from us. This really is a win for women. There are plenty of people out there, of both genders, myself included, who help people just because they need help, not because we want sex or something else, not because the other people is useful to us in some way, and without any consideration of whether that person is strong, weak, invisible or what have you. It I think you underestimate the altruism of your fellow humans…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:17 PM
1

So you’re saying that men save women from homelessness because the woman has something they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:00 PM
2

In what specific way will they not be fine? I’m single and fine. And I don’t consider myself a weak man at all. No woman does.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:56 PM
–

Of course. People still talk disapprovingly about married people not having kids, tattoos, piercings, anything LBGT, insert whole long list here. Doesn’t mean the tide hasn’t shifted.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:54 PM
1

I agree. It sounds like a win-win.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:49 PM
1

Right. And that sounds like a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:45 PM
–

I grew up with many women considering their husband another child to take care of. I thought I wouldn’t end up the same and married late, but lo and behold. I’m raising my son and daughter to be independent and generate their own wealth and never need a partner. If they choose one, fine, but they’ve seen firsthand what a disaster their father is, and have lots of friends with messy parental situations, and know that relationships can totally screw you over.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:44 PM
–

One person buys a house and gets roommates - friends they can easily get along with - and gives them a good deal on rent. It’s a win. No messy dividing down the line.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:37 PM
–

As a previous poster said, it’s now completely acceptable to be a single woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:35 PM
–

That’s really fine. There are plenty of guys, married or otherwise, who treat women just fine, and your bad treatment of her is further evidence that she made the right decision. You’re not going to mistreat an independent, well-adjusted woman into being with you. 😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 06:33 PM
–

The men on this sub only talk about wanting an attractive woman. No other adjective. Ever. It reads that a woman is no more than a number on a scale of 1 to 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:42 AM
1

This is a ridiculous reply. No support for why you’re right, just that you know you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:33 AM
–

I don’t see how solitary confinement versus maximum security has anything to do with this issue. There are loads of ways to create social connections in life. And these have nothing to do with sex. We aren’t talking about men stranded on a deserted island choosing between a fleshlight and a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 02:02 AM
0

Thinking someone is attractive is not the same as being attracted to them though. There are lots of people who I’d say are attractive, maybe even very, but do nothing for me sexually. Yours is an interesting take. I’ve been lucky to find guys willing to let things develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:50 AM
1

Thinking someone is attractive is not the same as being attracted to them though. There are lots of people who I’d say are attractive, maybe even very, but do nothing for me sexually. Yours is an interesting take. I’ve been lucky to find guys willing to let things develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:48 AM
0

More compatible? How so? I base all my matches on extreme compatibility so if there’s attraction, the relationship has amazing potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:34 AM
1

Not true. I definitely need to get to know someone before becoming wildly attracted to them. I’m all over my partner all the time but it took many dates to get there. That’s how some of us are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 02:13 AM
5

I don’t want a man to be my provider nor do I want to be his provider. I am my own provider and have no interest in looking for any man to take care of me financially. The healthiest women want a provider? Where is this pulled from? Do you not see the number of women in the workforce?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:32 PM
1

I’m not uncomfortable. Stop putting your issues on me. Money is simply not in the same grouping as the items you mention. I have relationships with friends (friendships) because we give each other time, respect, attention, affection, validation, comfort, assistance, etc. I don’t have friendships because I pay them for their time or for access to them. Do you pay people to be your friends? Money and the list of other items above are simply not comparable, and if you can’t see that, that’s your is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 11:28 PM
1

You inserted a religious twist to my comment that didn’t exist, using words like “holy” and “moral”. Your fear and nice dress comment, whatever it means, is your projection. Every connection in this world is absolutely not a monetary transaction. And if you’re trying to reduce the give and take of most relationships to a series of transactions, it doesn’t fly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 12:43 PM
6

Is sex with a woman you have to pay outright actually better than sex with a fleshlight? If so, what about it is better? Specifically what? I really don’t get it. This is a woman who wouldn’t freely have sex with you. I’d be wondering the whole time how repulsed she was despite faking otherwise, and that would 100% ruin it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 12:11 PM
1

Create a meetup group.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 09:54 PM
4

Women own their sexuality and are no more passed around than the men they have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 09:34 PM
5

No, she isn’t. Because women are objects that can be passed around.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:14 PM
1

Again, there are basic rights like housing, shelter and healthcare, and a basic function of government is to ensure that people are provided these. For those in the back who didn’t hear, this dude makes a lot of money. Round of applause, please. Why don’t you complain about having to pay for K-12 schools, subsidizing community colleges and state universities, the cost of the children’s section at every public library, etc? These are WAY more than WIC and SNAP. But go ahead and keep voting on the…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:08 PM
2

It doesn’t matter that most states have a higher minimum if all don’t. Families can’t survive on $15k. Congrats, Mr. I’m so big and important. No one gives a shit how much you make.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:00 PM
3

Extended family? For real? That’s so not how our legal system works in any capacity. We are not held responsibly for the crimes, torts, debts, etc of our adult relatives. You are not being forced to take care of someone else’s child. An extremely small part of your tax dollars go to people who are poor. Charities are nice but it’s not their responsibility. It’s the government’s responsibility. It’s not moral subjectivity. It’s basic human rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:48 AM
5

The federal minimum wage is 7.25, so anyone who earns that or anywhere near it will be poverty level. Like 81,000 workers by one count, not all of whom are teenagers. Food service, hospitality,.. Most social welfare programs use a multiplier of the federal poverty rate. So you can be earning significantly more than minimum wage and still be considered poor enough to need assistance. FURTHER, it is often the kids who get the assistance. You consider them freeloaders? And if the parent needs to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 12:43 AM
3

I’m saying that you can’t force anyone to take care of a child. If both parents don’t want the child, it goes into the foster system, which you pay for right now, like it or not. The state tries to get payment from unwilling parents, but when they are unable, then they are left footing the bill. It’s not my personal morals. The government attends to this as part of its required function. If you want to let poor kids starve, then that’s your morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 09:06 PM
–

Making what up?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 09:02 PM
5

Forcing a parent to take care of a child they don’t want is a recipe for abuse. As much as I prefer men pay child support for the kids they create, I don’t want to pay the costs to jail them. Nor do I want to deal with the turmoil and expenses they create after they get released, hardened and less employable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:47 PM
2

If you are working you can still be below the poverty level. And you need to pay someone for childcare. How exactly do you propose these people get food? Steal it? That kids be fed is a non- negotiable. The US is not a third world country. Comparing lack of sex to solitary confinement is absurd. People have the freedom to have relationships with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc. They can be surrounded by people as much as they want. And all those interactions will be more authentic tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:39 PM
2

Are you kidding me? Food is a need. If you can’t get food then the government provides it to you. Same with Medicaid. If you are poor, you get government health care, because health care is a need. And it’s not just poor kids on Medicaid. Adults of both genders qualify too. Lack of food will kill you. Lack of sex will not kill you. Knock, knock. Hello? Do you understand this? If you WANT sexual release you can jerk off or use a toy. There are cheap and FREE options to addressing your wants. Does…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 06:18 PM
4

Poverty level is a thing. State governments establish parameters for household size and income to determine who needs benefits. Not all poor people are the same level of poor.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 05:00 PM
–

Such women probably also look down on women with blue collar jobs. Are you sure it’s a gender thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 04:35 PM
6

You can’t masturbate? Do you lack hands? You can’t afford a fleshlight? Seriously? Food is a need. Contact with a human vagina is not a need. I just can’t even believe I have to say this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 12:05 PM
26

Anyone lacking should get adequate resources. We don’t get to pick and choose individual expenditures. Most welfare programs are for the kids, not the adult. If it were predominantly men being single parents, then the benefits would predominantly be going to their families. People without kids still have to pay for schools. People with kids in private schools still have to pay for the public education system. People without cars still have to pay for roads. My taxes go towards all sorts of thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 01:25 AM
2

No, I don’t have that backwards. https://www.medicinenet.com/what_ages_are_women_and_men_at_their_sexual_peak/article.htm Or like, so many other articles.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 01:01 PM
1

Women tend not to do for guys at a certain age who haven’t been married. And exes and parents preferring the previous partner and financial problems can result if you lived without someone or had a LTR without being married. As a divorced person, I prefer other divorced people, although many single men have not cared I was divorced. But I don’t care if my partner stays friends with an ex, whether they were married or not. And I am financially independent so their finances don’t matter that much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:12 PM
3

Seriously? Women go to the doctor out of paranoia? Is that what the medical community says? Here’s a fun one: https://www.wsj.com/articles/why-men-wont-go-to-the-doctor-and-how-to-change-that-11556590080
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:00 PM
2

And yet there are so many divorced people out there who date and find new relationships. That divorced people don’t make good partners is such a broad, ridiculous statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 05:41 PM
28

Men are much less likely to go to the doctor in general. See the CDC reports. Use of antidepressants only means that women are more often treated for depression. For all we know there is a higher incidence of depression, and untreated depression, in men. Your logic really isn’t up to par here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:56 PM
8

No. But I don’t find them interesting to me, so it doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:47 PM
3

Huh? Average age is not relevant, especially if you aren’t providing the standard deviation. But I’m surprised it’s not older, given how old people can get to. If the median age is 39 that means half of divorced women are younger. Further, there is no reason why a man or woman can’t find someone their own age. There are plenty of unattached people of all ages. And the men I know want women near their own age because they relate to them better. As for sexual peak, dream on. A guy is at his sexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 03:04 AM
13

Which is what a friend is. So you’re saying that because you have family, you don’t need friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:58 PM
21

Are you saying that you don’t know what friends talk about?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:37 PM
10

No, because there are lots of divorced guys who weren’t available before, but are available now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:26 PM
-2

There really isn’t any wall. And there are always previously partnered guys becoming single and available at all ages.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 08:24 PM
3

No. I was summarizing what the OP said, which I followed with “WTF?” You think kids of single moms would have been better off aborted? Okay, whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 12:29 AM
2

First, I don’t think that being a single mom is necessarily the result of a flawed decision. Second, of course things are applied selectively based on the specific decision. Why do I even have to clarify this? “I stabbed my parents to death for the insurance money” is also a flawed decision. Do you view that the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:52 PM
1

I am not blaming single moms at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:54 PM
7

Yeah, because being a parent to a kid that you got pregnant with is comparable to having sex with a prostitute? Seriously? This is your logic?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 05:52 PM
12

No. He is free to not date whomever he doesn’t want to date. But he is presenting a logical analysis here and I’m finding fault with the logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:54 PM
0

That’s not the topic of this post, so irrelevant. If such a father posts on AITA about abandoning his kids then he will be voted YTA.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 12:53 PM
18

No one is ever immune from judgement. This judgement is icky. If you don’t want to raise someone else’s kids then you don’t want to be with a widow either. If your beef is with divorced women who have children then include that as a judgement. No divorced women for you. If your gripe is that the woman had the baby, then say you prefer women who get abortions. If you’re bothered that she had sex which resulted in a pregnancy then say you want a virgin. Your reasoning is Swiss cheese.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:57 AM
0

My bad. Sorry. I thought that “disproving this theory” referred to my response.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:51 AM
31

Yes, this is creepy and moralistic. There are lots of good reasons to not want to date someone with kids. This woman made a flawed decision so I won’t date her. WTF? Widows are good though. So it’s not the having kids at all. It’s pure judgement of the mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 11:34 AM
7

You are making my point? There is no locking down. Relationships are fluid. They can fall apart at any time. A woman who is 30ish can absolutely find a partner because lots of men who were partnered before end up single again.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 10:57 AM
19

Relationships are always ending and starting. The way men here talk about a woman reaching an age where she’s lost her chance, and that she should have “locked down” someone earlier always strike me as bizarre because there are always single and newly available people to try a relationship with. At any age.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:44 PM
1

What prevents people from popping out kids they can’t afford or want is birth control and abortion. Abstinence is taught in some schools, but it’s not effective. As people in non-marital relationships can also have children together, I don’t see how value is added to marriage. And if people can still divorce for irreconcilable differences, same. The overload of unwanted and unsupported babies, because people still have sex, would be the single most important effect of such a policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 04:58 PM
19

Yeah. That stopped me dead. No, women are most assuredly not obligated to date anyone. This level of brain rot can’t be reasoned with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:30 PM
1

If they needed money to support the kid, they’ll never have enough to pay back a loan. What they earn is what they need to support themselves. So now married couples get birth control? Sounds like some intense government control over “morality”. Is there a new govt agency to oversee this? And the women with PCOS who are prescribed bc now, do they get to have crazy sex or are they forced to remain untreated? This overall idea is so over the top that it’s laughable. Imagine the black market for co…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 11:21 AM
1

On this sub men are always talking about getting an ATTRACTIVE woman. There is never ever another adjective used. This seems to be all most men care about. Someone once said that MGOT was more like Men Sent Their Own Way. Do you think women will care?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 11:01 AM
4

Yes, because so often guys get the wrong idea. “But you talked to me.” “But you laughed at my jokes.” “That barista is so nice to me. She must like me.” How are women supposed to navigate this?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:44 AM
3

If you’re getting your sexual needs largely met by yourself or a toy, and can’t actually have sex with a man you’d like to with, without risking pregnancy, you really only need friends for company.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:35 AM
1

If she really wants to meet you, hasn’t been conditioned to think it’s too forward to ask a man out, and doesn’t expect something expensive, chances are she will.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:28 AM
1

No. The government is responsible for providing for children when the parents can’t. That’s how it works right now. What repercussions do you want for parents who don’t earn enough money to support their children. Fine them so they have less money? Throw them in jail so that their kids lose their home and can be thoroughly traumatized by the foster care system? Pray tell. Right now the government supports these children quite extensively. With no birth control, this skyrockets.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:26 AM
2

Because CHILDREN are entitled to support even if the person raising them can’t afford it. Or you approve of punishing children because you disapprove of their parents? Is that it?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 11:00 AM
1

This is Chad’s baby, right? He can’t support as many children as he has. His contribution to the kid is minimal. Of course he has to contribute what he can, as the law calculates. No way it will be enough. In the state of VA, minimum child support is about $50. Let me add to the above: free school breakfast and lunch, free Chromebook, government-paid credits toward monthly internet bill. Poor kids cost the government a lot. Right now. Pitiful try at deflection. You’re the POS who doesn’t care if…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:24 AM
4

Because any woman is acceptable, as long as she’s not ugly or fat or “run through” or a single mom?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:14 AM
9

It is like that in the US right now and has been. Based on household income children receive many government benefits, and they are NOT turned down because the mother is single. Medicaid, SNAP, WIC, housing assistance…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:09 AM
10

The most basic function of government is to ensure the basic needs of the people, so yes, it must. If you think a child should go without because you personally don’t agree with the terms of its conception, then you are a complete, unmitigated monster, a bigger by magnitudes problem than any poor-me loneliness/sexlessness problem. They all show their true colors in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:02 AM
7

Nope. You can’t weasel your way out of this one. The government must ensure the baby is cared for and has food, housing, medical care, continue long list here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:55 PM
5

Ooh. So you consider the sweet baby a “mistake”? Very interesting. Children get government support regardless. There is no way around this. And you’ll be paying quite a bit for it. Also the families that end up with 15 kids, like generations ago, are going to get support too. Better put in for overtime so you can pay your share.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:54 PM
14

Of course they would. It’s not the child’s fault. The child needs and deserves support until they’re 18. Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:51 PM
8

Except one is a problem and one isn’t. And the government will end up paying for all the babies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:39 PM
6

No. Not at all. There will still be women who won’t care, so the guys who have a lot of sex will get less, but it’s still better for them than being father material to one woman. So they won’t change. The unpartnered men now will still be unpartnered. Dramatically less sex will be had across the board, and post-menopausal women will get all the young hotties they want. Women who don’t want kids will get their tubes tied and do as they see fit. More single mothers will increase the demand for gov…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:38 PM
20

You think these things are comparable?? WTF?! The government has no business getting involved in who someone chooses to associate with or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:31 PM
9

Pretty sure he wants left-leaning women to “include” right-leaning men in their relationships and activities. Why on earth would they?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:28 PM
12

To marry an undesirable guy? But she won’t even have to have sex with him unless she’s wanting to get pregnant. But she does have to live with him. Totally not worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:24 PM
8

That’s a lot of government support that’s going to be needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:22 PM
24

This is ridiculous. It’s not your concern what other people do in their sex lives and whether they want children or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:21 PM
5

My teenage son goes to school, plays various sports, previously did other activities, hangs out with friends, has them stay over on weekends where they play video games together until way late. He has a close relationship with me and other family members. I keep wondering about this male loneliness epidemic. Do you not have activities and good friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:17 PM
9

Women will buy and use toys, or move to oral and anal, but they’re not any more likely to get into a relationship with someone they wouldn’t do that with now. This is pure wishful thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:11 PM
8

Yeah. Loneliness is not equivalent to lacking a romantic or sexual partner. Words matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:07 PM
5

Does this mean forcing kids to interact when they don’t want to?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:06 PM
7

You don’t become partnered unless you are attracted to the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:04 PM
19

Or they’ll pick the hot guys and be single moms. They’re still not going to want to be tied to someone they’re not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:02 PM
25

And so married people would have to stop having sex when they wanted to stop having babies?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 10:59 PM
3

Not really. But pick another coffee shop if you like. It’s fine to say that you prefer low-key first dates at quiet places that give you an opportunity to talk and hear each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:19 PM
5

You don’t need to create a memorable experience. You need to get to know each other. If you’re depending on external factors then it may not be you that she ends up liking, but the activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:15 PM
3

Again, “all of the effort” is laughable. Plenty of times I’ve been the one to suggest getting together with a dating app match. I’ve even paid for his latte on occasion. What you get is a conversation to see if you want to meet up again. If you think you deserve more, even if you expended extreme effort, you’re 100% deluded.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:13 PM
9

Women do not know how many previous first dates you’ve taken there. Do you think she’s doing some investigation of these? Coffee dates are low effort and low stress and an excellent environment to focus on conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:06 PM
1

Go on Meetup.com and join a group related to an activity that interests you. Why do you want women specifically to do? Sign you up for something?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:55 PM
7

A number of women here have asked for clarification. There are literally so many social activities out there to join. I don’t understand why there is a problem and what you want women specifically to do about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:53 PM
18

I have the same question. Even if there are women-only gyms, there are still so many gyms a guy can join. He is not impeded in any way from joining a gym. Gyms really aren’t the best choice for social activity anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:49 PM
9

Resolve setbacks? Like what? Expect something in return? Absolutely not. Come up with a first date plan that you can recycle, like a coffee shop, do that you can reduce the onerousness. It’s incredulous that guys make such a big deal of the “effort”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:47 PM
11

I like to get to know someone and see if we’re compatible. It’s really not that much effort. Ask what days she’s available and suggest a cafe. It’s not high effort. She’ll get herself there and home. I have no idea why you think there is so much work involved. If you aren’t liking the opportunity to get to know her, why are YOU going on the date? Are you just wanting sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:42 PM
6

Of course men have this option. I’ve known a few SAHDs. I absolutely believe most men would not choose this though. No one is demanding anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:41 AM
2

Being a mom is my best job. However it can be a catastrophic financial decision to be a SAHP. I’m now full-time parent and provider due to my ex-spouse’s extreme mental illness, and I’d be in a much better position, and the kids as well, had I always kept a foot in the workplace.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:36 AM
9

Being a SAHM works as long as you remain happily married your whole life. If you end up divorced you are screwed. You have very little ability to earn the salary you would have otherwise. You are 10, 20, however many years behind trying to play catch up. It’s brutal.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:33 AM
21

You really think most men prefer to be stay-at-home parents? My experience is that most men derive a great sense of worth from their paid employment.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 07:24 AM
1

Geek. No interest in sports whatsoever. Don’t like attention. I prefer to be left alone and fly under the radar.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 03:05 AM
1

What’s not for 95% of men? That’s not any part of the OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 01:51 AM
1

A woman could consent or not after a date. A woman could consent or not after seeing him walk by on the street. He’s trying to assert a position and his words absolutely do matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 10:48 AM
1

No. The OP is specifically about the value men place on sex. OP has all sorts of outrageous logic and comments, such as the man has to earn the right to have sex with the woman. There is no “right” - GROSS- and OP seems upset that the woman won’t just have sex with him after passing him on the street. It’s really twisted and gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 03:53 AM
3

That it’s easier to get a date with a woman than have sex with her. Um yes, of course. But the men I know are all the same as well. They want to get to know a woman first. The guys in this sub who are walking horn dogs willing to stick their dick in any random woman is the most bizarre thing. So no, I don’t think the OP’s logic is sound
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:49 AM
4

So? The OP contended that sex was a woman’s ultimate form of investment in a man. I am disagreeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:14 AM
6

Good god no. I’m not compatible with the vast, vast majority of men. Nor are they with me. A suitable life partner is a tiny fraction of the population. That said, the men I’d have sex with are a large multiple of that tiny amount.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:08 AM
4

Birth control is a thing. Abortions are a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 08:57 PM
17

My ultimate form of investment in a man is marrying him. I did it once and won’t do it again. There too much to negotiate, too much to lose. Sex is a pretty low form of investment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 07:11 PM
18

I think he will find someone. Most men here care only what a woman looks like and view women as interchangeable. I generally feel like a piece of meat reading this sub. The question is always about landing an attractive women, So many women are looking for a compatible partner. Politics tops my list. Finding someone who doesn’t want kids shouldn’t be an issue. Earning under $100k in a medium COL area doesn’t seem like enough to buy a house and live comfortably in today’s economy. But I live in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:55 PM
–

Men aren’t holding up their part of any bargain. They’re doing a job. They can stop mining and drilling and we’ll all be better off. If they don’t want to haul trash or work in sewers, then don’t. When these jobs can’t find workers the pay will have to increase until someone wants to. Some places you have to transport your own trash already anyway. Stop the draft and stop all of the unnecessary military incursions around the globe. If the mentality has always been that’s it’s a quid pro quo, tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:48 PM
–

I believe the “right” he is referring to is the freedom to have sex outside of a LTR. But yeah, it’s confusing and convoluted af.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:40 PM
1

So precious. 😂 A clear demonstration that you have no idea of the actual work that women - most of whom work an outside job like you - do.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:09 AM
–

Great! Spring of the Four Seasons. I’ll take care of that “You tell me what needs to be done with the house and kids and our social life because I have no idea even though I live here too” list.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:54 AM
–

Can you play Vivaldi?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:34 AM
–

You have actually no idea of the work involved. So telling. 😂🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:30 AM
4

But it takes two paychecks to live. So if the imprisoned spouse was working now the family probably can’t pay their bills. On the flip side, Is the government going to provide daycare and evening care if the imprisoned was a SAHP? Kind of like how disabled or elderly people have a 24/7 home health aide? Because otherwise the free spouse has double the work and single parenting isn’t easy. Will there be a fund to provide therapy to the affected children who have effectively lost a parent? How muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:28 AM
–

Definitely not. They don’t propose either shaming or prison for adultery.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:22 AM
6

And then what happens to the kids? Is the government giving the other parent the amount of the lost paycheck for all those years and/or providing in-home childcare?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:20 AM
–

And what’s the punishment for adultery? And when there are huge swathes of shunned people, they just associate among themselves and they’re totally cool with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:05 AM
–

Start with Trump, who cheated on all his wives?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:00 AM
–

Haha. The lazy women raising an overgrown child. Funny, dude!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:59 AM
–

So you want the government to have some system to officially enact this? Because people are going to care.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:58 AM
–

What specific rights are you referring to? Women being allowed to vote?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:52 AM
–

Perfect. Then what rights are we arguing about?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:50 AM
–

So women shouldn’t be allowed to be financially independent because then they are not forced into a relationship? And them not forced into a relationship harms the guys here?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:49 AM
–

No. They actually don’t. Not at the level that another person is forced into a relationship with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:46 AM
–

Keeping women financially dependent and reliant on a man is a form of slavery. The autonomy of an individual always supersedes someone else’s desire for sex and a relationship. Your attitude is completely gross and mercifully most men don’t share it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:46 AM
–

A lot of men want relationships also because they want to be taken care of. Too many women consider their husband an additional child.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:30 AM
–

That doesn’t mean they don’t want a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 06:27 AM
1

No. Love and desire cannot be earned. And I never see/hear anyone write/say this. WTF?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:00 AM
1

Yes, because the female me would love to date a male version of herself with such compatible interests and hobbies. It would literally be a dream come true.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 10:11 PM
12

So where are they supposed to find these guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 10:45 PM
3

Social media is so vapid and also largely contrived and I honestly don’t want anyone else’s life. The Kardashians make me cringe. I have a job I love, great family and friends, and activities that really speak to me. I don’t think I have ego, but why should I care about other people? I’m my own person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 08:57 AM
2

Jack is in purgatory because he can’t crack the 10%. These are the OP’s words.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:56 PM
4

Jack is upset, actually in purgatory, because he can’t crack the top 10%. This is the situation per the OP. Jack is aiming sky high.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:54 PM
1

Needle in a haystack is 1%. It something very very difficult to find. We are talking about women in their 20s. How many college grads are hard drug users? Come on. My area has hiking groups by age range. Jack needs to look for or create one of those. Every single 20 year old woman I work with or come into contact with via professional societies is college-educated, attractive, fit, and not a hard drug user. These women are everywhere. I have no idea where you or Jack live, but it’s nothing like …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:52 PM
2

To make a point. And the point doesn’t hold.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:46 PM
5

Jack wants the type of woman that the top 10% of men pull. Yet Jack is not in the top 10% of men. According to the OP, Jack is average looks, average height, and upper-middle class. Why is Jack thinking he’s in the top 10% of men who are some combo of hot, tall, and rich? Whether women are overly picky is not the issue. The issue is Jack dramatically overestimating his own league. Jack is not top 10%.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:45 PM
1

I’m not going to debate that because that’s not the topic of the post. Jack, whether fictional or not, is an average looking, average height guy, with an upper-middle class salary and a fit body. He’s upset that he doesn’t pull the women that the top 10% of men do, while not being in the top 10% of men. Jack’s reasoning ability is pitiful and the college degree didn’t help him there. Jack is a jerk.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:40 PM
5

Have you been on a college campus? You’re saying 90% of the women there are fat and ugly. Name the college campus where this is true. I’m going to investigate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:35 PM
4

Working with your numbers, that’s half of the women out there, which is a ton. Finding one that’s just average looking who went to college is not some needle in a haystack. There are so many people into athletic activities, especially so in their 20s. The number of gyms, formal athletic clubs and groups, Meetup groups, and just people out there jogging and cycling and hiking and rock climbing and whatever is huge. Jack isn’t looking for someone with some rare hobby. Althetic activity is everywhe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 03:33 PM
6

Obesity levels increase with age. Jack is looking for a woman in her 20s, not her 50s. My gym is always full. There are a gazillion Meetups for hiking, pickleball, cycling, etc. I always see men and women jogging. There are plenty of people into fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:29 PM
6

But Jack wants a woman who is dating doctors, former athletes, finance types, etc. It doesn’t sound like Jack is actually okay with average looking. Especially when many doctors marry other doctors. And former athletes don’t generally care about women being professionally successful. It sounds like Jack is looking for someone really hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:27 PM
3

So all the fit, college-educated, average-looking women are dating top 10% men? I just don’t believe the numbers go this way. More women than men are college educated. Fit is 50% of the population. Average looking is not a high standard. Plenty of women meet these. Is Jack living under a rock?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:20 PM
8

Plenty of women are into fitness. Is your gym all men? It is not hard to find a college-educated woman into fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:05 PM
5

So Jack is okay being with an average looking woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:03 PM
16

My Google says 50% of women this age are normal weight. And overweight doesn’t outright mean fat. I think Jack must be way too picky about looks. And Jack seems to be very typical of the guys posting here, who are obsessed with looks and percentiles and threshholds. I really have no sympathy for Jack.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 01:00 PM
16

Dude, 90% of women in college are not fat or ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 12:46 PM
22

So Jack can’t find an attractive, educated, fitness-valuing woman? Seriously? Because only 10% of women fit this description and they’re going for the 10% above him? I don’t buy it. Lots more than 10% of women fit his alleged criteria. I think Jack is way too picky. What percentage of the women on his college campus were fat and ugly? 90% he claims?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 12:37 PM
1

No. Plenty of people on r/deadbedroom do not want obligation sex at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 09:14 PM
1

Women not hating sex absolutely does not mean they want to have it with you. What is wrong with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 05:27 PM
1

Assuming that the threshold is indeed low, what of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 01:32 AM
1

There is no fear. These same people look at Pierce Brosnan and ridicule his wife for not being good enough. All of it is gross. If two people choose each other that’s their business.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 01:30 AM
1

People choose what they want. In that sense there isn’t even any league.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 09:40 PM
2

You act like women are generally unattractive. What’s the deal? Why are you being so judgy about what other people do?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 09:37 PM
1

I think the obsession that this sub has with physical appearance is insane. Plus, she doesn’t have to be gorgeous to be a great hookup. Maybe she has a great body, or part of the body he tends to like more than the rest. Maybe she’s enthusiastic. Maybe she’s got great skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 04:18 PM
0

I don’t randomly hook up with guys at all. But I only date off apps. And if I were looking for casual sex I’d do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 03:28 PM
4

No. Because the hot guy theoretically has his choice of tons of women on the app. And if he were out at a bar his selection would be limited to the small number of single women there looking for casual sex that very night.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:23 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 02:19 PM
1

I also think if you go out in person you could possibly have all sorts of guys leering at you and trying to chat you up. Why do that? And you don’t actually know if someone is single and looking for a hookup or is just out with friends. You can look at profiles in the comfort of your own home in pajamas and only interact with those you want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 01:18 PM
3

No. I’m not admitting any such thing. I disagree that it’s to get hotter guys. I think you’re wrong. You can meet up at any place. I’d probably pick a bar at a restaurant, where families and couple and friend groups go out to eat and there is really is no hookup scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:55 PM
11

There’s a lot more selection and some people don’t like bars and clubs.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:44 PM
1

No. Women absolutely do not expect mister perfect to arrive some day.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 12:26 PM
16

Women wanting to stay single has very little, if anything, to do with “Chad”, who is largely a fabrication of the manosphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 04:08 AM
1

I have never met a woman who does this or at least admit to this. But yeah, I’d be like, “I’m shocked you can enjoy sex with someone you have to pay to get in from.” I don’t hate anyone, as much as you want men to be the poor victim. I’m done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:38 AM
1

A sex doll isn’t the same as a human. I can’t believe I have to point this out. My original point stands no matter how many other irrelevant points to bring up.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:33 AM
1

Is she attracted to this person who is emotionally committed, etc, or not? And women provide the same things back. Your obsession with “getting laid” is weird. As if men don’t actually want a relationship, just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:31 AM
1

They don’t get the same number of offers. This is too ridiculous. But if the model is into obese grannies and they choose to hook up, that’s their decision. You seem very insistent on people staying in leagues that you’ve decided for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:25 AM
1

Because if there weren’t a disparity, I’d feel the same way. It has nothing to do with any disparity. It’s purely how someone can enjoy sex knowing that they’re not getting it freely. I feel the same way about a woman paying to use a man’s body. And yes, guys that cajole, coerce or try to get a woman drunk fall into the same category. The guys I know aren’t this type of person as well as, mercifully, the majority of guys I’ve dated.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:18 AM
1

Again, I’m surprised anyone can fall for the ilusión and not be thinking about how they’re paying someone to fake some sort of interest in them. Clearly you don’t agree. But we don’t have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 09:02 AM
1

Who are you to assess leagues and other people’s motivations? If he chooses to have sex with her, that’s his decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:58 AM
1

Nope. Read again. I’m shocked that anyone can enjoy another person’s body when the other person has to be paid to make it available.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:53 AM
1

You are off on a tangent. I’m shocked that anyone can enjoy sex that isn’t freely given. I do feel empathy for men who want a relationship and can’t get one. But no, I don’t have empathy for a guy who can’t get casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:51 AM
1

Gets laid for free? What in the everloving fuck? You think woman are supposed to charge for sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 08:48 AM
1

Honey, you would like to think I’m invisible. But I get hundreds of likes and plenty of convos and date offers. AND IDGAFF about “most men”. Who on earth would? You think most men are some prize? You’re here on a sub where the general belief is that 80% of men can’t get a relationship, and yet you think I’ll be insulted by you telling me all these allegedly undesirable men think I’m invisible? Do you even recognize your own cognitive dissonance? Attention from “most men” is a useless, distractin…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 12:11 AM
0

No. THEY wait longer to have sex with me if they’re looking for a relationship with me. They don’t want me to think they just want sex. I’ve had any number of guys slow things down and back off when the fooling around starting getting hot and heavy. But I’ve also had guys wait so that I would be more emotionally invested. One guy was self/conscious about a weight gain and didn’t want to take off his shirt, another insecure about dick size, another insecure about how long it had been since he las…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:15 PM
2

They waited longer to have sex with me than a hookup. Several dates and several weeks. No to the rest. Very often in a relationship people do not have sex immediately as they want the other person to know they are not just looking for sex. Spending time together is not making the other person “work harder”.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 10:55 AM
6

So he is dating someone just to get sex and not to have a relationship? Is he simply lying about wanting the relationship in order to get sex? I’ve dated men with lots of sexual history and there’s absolutely no issue at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:54 AM
6

It’s very possible to have had dozens of partners by 35 even if you’ve only had relationship sex. Most relationships don’t work out long-term. That’s less than 2 partners per year.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:39 AM
5

Having had a larger number of sexual partners may simply mean a woman has had a lot of short- term relationships that didn’t work out. Not everyone is having an orgy with strangers on the regular.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 07:36 AM
5

This is bullshit. People are always cycling in and out of relationships. There are unattached people in every age group looking for a relationship. I am 50 years old and there is absolutely no shortage of men interested in dating me. Do you know what the divorce rate is? Do you have any idea how many guys 30 and up are starting over? There is no expiration date for finding a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 09:29 PM
1

So not true. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:32 PM
1

I understand that partly. But if the woman you’re doing it with had to be paid to do it, I’m surprised that doesn’t kill off the pleasure. I’m not a man, but I would be utterly repelled if a guy charged me for sex. As dry as the Sahara. I don’t expect others to be repelled, but it does surprise me that the resulting sex is still enjoyable enough, that the terms of the sex can be disassociated so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 03:01 PM
1

Not a question of moral or not. My initial comment that that I’m surprised a guy can enjoy sex that he’s had to pay someone to get. When someone’s wiping your butt, generally it’s because you’re somehow incapacitated. It needs to be done but I don’t think you actually enjoy getting it done.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:55 PM
1

I never said it shouldn’t exist. But being the sick person in the hospital needing their butt wiped is different than the guy wanting and paying for sex, who is the topic of the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:37 PM
1

No. Literally. If I had to pick I’d be grossed out by both.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:30 PM
–

No. Because there’s no evidence that he feels that way. Unless he charges her.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:29 PM
–

No doubt. That’s a tough choice of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:16 PM
3

That’s a separate issue. If he didn’t lie, he didn’t lie and that’s in her for wishful thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:09 PM
–

That’s the point. Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:08 PM
–

Nice try. I’m not sticking a dick in the massage therapist and groping her tits. It’s not sexual. Well, not for me. You could make the same argument for the CNA who wipes your butt in the hospital and the nurse who wraps your burns and the plastic surgeon who does boob jobs and a bunch of other careers that involve touching people. It’s not sexual. I don’t like to touch strangers. I work on a computer.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:07 PM
–

If he’s grossed out and pretending otherwise that’s on him. We can’t reasonably speculate. As long as he’s willingly putting out for free, why even try?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 02:01 PM
–

Honestly, that situation is a WTF for me. I would not want my spouse having sex with me if they didn’t want to. And I would never ever try to talk them into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:52 PM
–

I don’t know. But I also don’t believe most men are repulsive. And I don’t know a man’s biological drives. But I have other drives and when they juxtapose another human being grossed out, I’d stop. I’m very sensitive to other people’s reactions to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:48 PM
–

If they’re grossed out then maybe they wouldn’t be doing it? That’s a leap on your part. Unless money or some other consideration is exchanged, she’s attractive enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:45 PM
5

And he’s got a dick. And it’s warmer than a dildo and she doesn’t have to be the one moving it. Does it need to be more for her? She’s the hope and he’s the something to put in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:43 PM
–

Sex for sex’s sake is reason enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:42 PM
–

80/20 is something someone pulled out of their nether quarters. I don’t confirm anything. I said that people get to set their own standards and we don’t need to police them. I don’t know where you’re extrapolating all this from.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 01:05 PM
6

Woman can choose sex or a relationship as they want and can acquire, and it has nothing to do with self-respect. Why is that so confusing? You think a self-respecting woman is supposed to enter into a relationship with a man she isn’t attracted to just because he’s “looks matched”? Seriously? Really, seriously? And a woman isn’t self-respecting if she engages in casual sex simply because she enjoys it? Bizarre.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:50 PM
–

No. My job does not involve me letting my boss fuck me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:35 PM
–

Huh? Maybe she just wants sex. You can’t tell HER what matters to HER. You think all women want commitment all the time? That’s your cope. Think again. Maybe she wants to look at a hot guy and feel a chiseled chest and run her fingers along defined cheekbones and jawline and look into gorgeous eyes while she gets her insides absolutely rearranged in the most amazing-feeling and primal way and … Um, yeah, she’s not being used.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:33 PM
–

Haha. You are trolling me. People get to pick their standards. Do you propose that an unattractive guy who gets a chance with an attractive woman should say “No, I can’t take advantage of you and your low standards.” Omg, imagine!!! I am dying here. You think that somehow the guy is lowering his standards with the unattractive woman but in fact she may be great in bed and way more skilled than an attractive woman. I’ve found that some guys that lack in other departments have mad skills that othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:26 PM
–

Nothing to do with bigotry or trans people. Go back to bed and try again tomorrow. Reading is apparently hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:22 PM
–

I’m not stopping them. Nor am I mentioning rape. Not am I advocating wanting them killed. Nor am I Indian. 😂 You have some serious reading comprehension issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:01 PM
–

And she’s using him as a hot guy to fuck her. Apparently he’s easy too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:57 AM
–

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:55 AM
–

He’s attracted enough to parts of her or he wouldn’t be doing it. Shes possibly using him for the experience as well. Your use of the word cumdumpster is very revealing. Why aren’t you using some equally pejorative term for the guy? What she is, is a woman doing what she wants with someone freely willing and having a good time. That’s all. She’s not handing over cash for him to fuck her. How absolutely degrading. Privilege isn’t relevant. If I were so repulsive that no man would fuck me I still …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:39 AM
–

It shocks me that men can enjoy sex with someone knowing the other person would not willingly have sex with them and is possibly thinking about how grossed out they are in the moment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:13 AM
–

A woman who has casual sex is presumably having it with someone enthusiastic and attracted to her. A man paying a woman for sex is having it with someone who is only willing to do it for the money. The job analogy does not apply. Access to another person’s body is a form of intimacy not comparable to sitting at a desk and doing a job you otherwise wouldn’t do if you weren’t getting paid. I could not enjoy sex if my partner weren’t freely willing. I would not have sex if I couldn’t find a freely …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:07 AM
2

Ridiculous. I am my own provider and I think actively going to engage with an intruder is an idiot move. I don’t believe in a draft for anyone. I think we should stop engaging in so much conflict around the world. Your scenario is also why people get alarm systems.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 04:37 PM
2

If he cries, I’ll be confused. If he doesn’t call the police or go to the kids, I’ll be irritated. I hope and really expect that he will act like a sensible, albeit panicked, mature adult. I expect him to act like me! 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 04:19 PM
3

No one. It’s the cat. Doing something I don’t care to deal with until morning. If we hear breaking glass and movement, we each hightail it to one of the two kids’ rooms, lock the door and call police. Maybe I scream at max pitch and volume because I have the better voice for that. You would not be suggesting that one of us be idiot enough to go confront a possible armed intruder.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 01:25 PM
9

The “bring to the table” thing is the grossest. Automatic block. The things that make an individual woman interesting and unique and not the things they care to hear. It’s up there with “high-value man”. Ick. Ick. Ick.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 05:58 PM
8

Yes. The positions are this sub are so confusing to me. It seems like the only thing that matters about a woman is how hot she is. Actually also how non-run-through (is that a word?) she is. Also not being a single mom. So, three things. Guys here say they don’t care how much a woman makes and most don’t want a woman to earn more because… toxic masculinity. But then god forbid the marriage ends and she gets some of “his” money.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 05:38 PM
24

I’m an upper middle class professional and I’m much better off than my ex because I’m sensible and frugal and a planner. So no. Women need to be independent. There’s too much risk being dependent on anyone. And there’s too much hostility towards women, especially in these subs, regarding them earning less and supposedly taking advantage of men. And financial outcomes are one thing, but being unhappily married is quite another. I’d rather have less money and get a roommate or otherwise adjust tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 03:10 PM
37

Rich women have staff. You can’t compare. Lots of rich women are divorced with children. As am I. Personally I think that’s the best of both worlds.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:48 AM
1

I don’t know a single guy of any age who would compare a woman to a used car. I don’t associate with assholes. Women never have trouble finding men interested in a relationship. And if a woman is a battered car by her 30s then women in their 40s, 50s and onward would presumably get no sincere attention ever. Which is not the case at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:23 AM
1

I don’t know. Maybe about the same? But I was more interesting in my 30s. Is that even relevant?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:01 AM
7

I’m confused about this as well. If so many young women are dating older men, to the point that so many young men are single, why don’t you hear about older women complaining en masse? I generally see college aged kids dating each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 12:15 AM
1

The point I was trying to make is that what you want can dramatically change over time even when you were certain that it wouldn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:27 PM
2

Enough with the rant, dude. I don’t give a flying fuck about your position on abortion. Women in great numbers are the ones who pick up the pieces and raise the kids when the dad bails.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 10:26 PM
2

Women are required to care for their kids until the age of majority and beyond. You think men have some special burden here? Yeah, yeah, you’re spouting off the same old pro-life rhetoric. Whatever. I’m not in an abortion sub and don’t care to engage in that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 08:00 PM
1

I think people generally understand that people overall don’t want the same things and don’t have the same priorities their entire life. But it’s easier to see this in the context of others. I absolutely did not want kids in my 20s, no way, no how. I softened in my 30s and now my kids are the best things that ever happened to me. But my younger self would be horrified by the idea. People can genuinely think they are set on something but experience a radical change. I would not call it disingenuo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:56 PM
4

Yes, women bear the burden of pregnancy and along with that get to determine whether the pregnancy she’s carrying continues. When science allows men to become pregnant, they will also have this same exact option. Killing a child occurs after birth and this is, of course, a crime. Not interested in any of the pro-life drivel.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 05:31 PM
–

Every divorced women I know is happy to be rid of that extra child and be in charge of her own life. Red pillers don’t seem to understand that women often prefer to be single. Why the scepticism? What exactly is so hard to believe?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:52 PM
–

ENM is ethically non monogamous. Usually the person is married and they are looking for full other relationships. Many a time I have read a great profile only to get to the ENM part. I don’t want these guys in my deck. Younger people may of course want someone who doesn’t already have kids. If you’re a single parent maybe you want someone who also predominantly parents because you just aren’t going to have a lot of time for them. Empty nesters want fellow empty nesters; younger kids are a hard n…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:50 PM
–

Exactly. It’s the mom who often does the bulk of the childcare. It’s a big responsibility. But my life is so much better being a single mom. I absolutely would not trade it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 02:22 PM
–

Dude, abortion is not killing a child. Your numbers are absurd. Having a child is an enormous responsibility that changes your entire life; it’s not a minor “inconvenience”. As men obviously cannot get abortions we don’t have numbers. But there’s certainly a large percentage who are happy to be off the hook for the huge responsibility of a child. Is the dangerously job just for the family? Is it also for themselves? Do childless and unmarried men do these jobs? Or it is just for the benefit of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 12:34 PM
–

What responsibility? As a single (older) mom, sole provider, I feel like I bear ALL the responsibility. The women I know bear much more responsibility than men because they work plus handle much more of the childcare and family matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:55 AM
–

It’s not random. People want different things at different phases of their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:52 AM
–

I’m this woman. Happily divorced and I will date but will never get married again. Older women who have their career, kids, house, and divorce very often do not want to get remained. The incentive isn’t there. We’ve worked too hard to get where we are. Merging households and combining finances at this point is my idea of hell. I’ve dated a string of guys. There’s no lack of older men who want relationships with older women. It’s just a question of having compatible goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:49 AM
–

I agree that both sides should have filters that they want. From what I can tell, OK Cupid is the only site with a body type filter. And it’s not like women are indifferent to body type. What other filters do men want? ENM vs monogamous should be a filter. Single FT parent. Anything that prevents a dealbreaker popping up down the road in the convo should be a filter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 06:48 AM
–

Women who don’t care have ZERO incentive to comment online. Women who really care will gush. How many women are there in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 07:50 PM
0

But aren’t woman crucified here all the time for settling? If you’re with someone to just not be single and they really aren’t your choice, isn’t this the same thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:55 PM
4

Well in the US, it’s years that you don’t contribute to Social Security, don’t contribute to an 401k, don’t advance salary wise, and you’ll possibly never catch up. Even if your spouse supports you, the system is against you. And if your marriage fails, you can be screwed if you were out of the workforce for a decent chunk of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 01:41 AM
1

Nope, but since many do successfully that’s a perfect job to let go when/if the dire prediction of lack of workers from the falling birth rate issue that predominates this sub comes true.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 12:35 AM
5

Well, I think that professional women very often don’t want to lose their professional footing and also very much enjoy their jobs. I was one of just a few SAHMs in my social circle. Many working friends told me that as much as they loved their kids they would go stir crazy being with them all day every day. In retrospect being a SAHM for as long as I was has been a huge hit financially and professionally, and I wish I had been part-time for the majority of those years.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 12:23 AM
8

And somehow the whole rest of the country manages just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:53 PM
3

Haha. You are such a troll. There is no safety risk. The 49 other states disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:48 PM
5

Was this at the man’s insistence? Plenty of professional women choose to continue working.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:43 PM
8

Nope. Parts of the U.S. are overpopulated. Too much congestion and traffic, even with all the WFH.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:42 PM
1

Let people in New Jersey pump their own gas and just like that you remove the need for thousands of workers. There are so many economies that could be found if there were fewer people available to do jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:37 PM
5

The world population just keeps growing. Enough. I would like my part of the world less populated. If you can do things more efficiently you don’t need as many people doing them. And by no means are all jobs essential.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:16 PM
-1

Why? I sometimes can’t find someone and am happy to be single rather than mismatched.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 09:33 PM
1

Some of us don’t want to meet people IRL. To find the right combo of religion, politics, and intellectualism - to say nothing of any other factors like height, looks, wealth, parent status, fitness, ANYTHING - narrows the pool by 99% for me. I don’t want to waste my time meeting incompatible people. If most people or lots of people appeal to you, then meeting in person is a reasonable option.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:07 PM
-1

Okay. Is that a bad thing? It’s still a time saver for both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 06:09 PM
3

If you don’t want a woman asking you in person about your height and income range, or alternatively, religion and politics, or whatever, the best solution is to have those be a filter in the app. People can want what they want. It’s a timesaver. I have young kids at home. Many guys in my age range have older kids and don’t want the restrictions that younger ones bring. Some guys are looking for someone with a lot of free time to give them, which I don’t have. If guys read my profile they wouldn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 05:07 PM
5

The apps don’t do a good enough job of allowing you to filter on all the list items. If they did, you would only match with more compatible people. And when you met, you wouldn’t feel like you needed to get more info.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:00 PM
2

You don’t bail on a marriage because you’re temporarily unhappy with the marriage. It’s that you are unable to ever be happy again. People keep telling you this but you don’t seem to understand. And if you are single, it’s simply not possible to experience the level of unhappiness you do when you have to live every day with someone you don’t want to be with. I know from experience. Divorce is a pain in the ass. It’s expensive, draining, time-consuming. You have to separate everything and buy a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 10:09 PM
18

I don’t think these are comparable. A spouse is not a child. It’s not the same relationship. A disabled child needs care. An able-bodied spouse doesn’t need the same. Also if I’m miserable chances are they are too. We’re just supposed to both be unhappy because we’re supposed to prioritize some other thing other than our happiness? Being unhappily partnered is not a “challenge”. It sounds like you think people should be miserable just because they made a bad decision or their spouse changed or t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:56 AM
21

Not the person you’re replying to, but I’d say there’s a responsibility to really give it your best effort. But ultimately you shouldn’t be required to be unhappy the whole rest of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 01:05 AM
1

They are different things. One person is not better than the other. The term “good enough” is very charged, and implies something is deficient. It increases emotion and reaction where there is simply to reason to. I have preferences in life for people, cars, jobs, food, etc. That something isn’t my preference doesn’t mean it’s not good or not good enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 01:23 PM
1

No. It mostly means that that they are not attracted to you. You can be the most amazing, wonderful person but attraction has to be there. It can also means that your interests, personalities, values, and wants are not compatible enough, because a relationship requires more of this than friendship. And it’s not a case of not being good enough. It’s not being compatible enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 12:14 PM
6

Men are really primarily concerned with how she looks. They often don’t care about the rest. This doesn’t mean they are more virtuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 08:11 PM
–

I believe that sleeping with dozens of guys, mostly while in a relationships, has been extremely beneficial to me personally, because it took that long to find one really fabulous at sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 07:36 AM
1

Go out to a restaurant, festival, shopping mall, hiking trail. There are couples of all ages everywhere. This sub is not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 12:20 AM
1

There is no tax solution. There really aren’t tax advantages in the U.S. for being married. Why would people in a relationship but not married deserve something extra? Further, people would just check the box to get the benefit and it’s not like the IRS,which is already underfunded, is going to go around investigating relationship history.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 11:25 AM
–

Single women absolutely get told they’re too picky. Generally they ignore this advice. No woman wants a guy who will take almost anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:53 AM
1

I don’t see how it’s either, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 11:08 AM
-2

I don’t think it has anything to do with gender roles. I think women are afraid the guy might not be long-term content with them and miss having sex with a man/ dick. I never really thought about it so much before but the guy I’m dating is bi. He’s mentioned a possible threesome down the line and I’m much more down with the idea of another guy than another woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 11:22 PM
4

Hmm. Don’t you think that people without experience tend to wonder what else is out there? And why is the beta guy boring? Is he not an interesting person? Why can’t their life together be exciting and adventurous? How much is dealing with annoying exes an actual issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:36 AM
1

But why would a woman seriously date the settle guy earlier?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:06 AM
1

It seems like the single men here spend all day on this sub lamenting their single hood. I just read misery.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 03:21 AM
3

You are referring to a “fuck buddy” or a one-time hookup.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 12:05 PM
1

I don’t understand it because it’s not well written. “if a woman is pregnant or outside” what??? Is it a common rightist tactic to bring politics into play when the issue is actually that you can’t write? Likewise, no offense.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 12:06 AM
6

Because so many men swipe right on nearly every woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 02:22 AM
3

So the woman can come here and date another woman or find a hot guy? She doesn’t have to pick someone off some preapproved list?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 06:45 PM
14

Interesting. I like romance novels. I also like true crime. I also like Scandanavian noir. I don’t really consider any of these relevant to my everyday existence. Male romance-novel protagonists simply don’t exist IRL. I don’t want crime in my life. I’ve only spent a week in Scandinavia. So I really think some things are just escapes and our lives in no way revolve around them just because we find them compelling to read about or watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 06:26 PM
3

What if they choose to date a woman or a Chad from work? Does she have to show proof to the government that she’s had sex with the person a certain number of times?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:23 PM
3

Are we also going to import good looking, educated men from abroad to give women better dating options?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:14 PM
2

So we’re going to import woman for the sole purpose of being available to potentially date and marry men here? If they’re here and can earn a living, what incentive would they have?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:12 PM
0

My part of the county is overpopulated. We need to leverage AI to deal with a shrinking workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:09 PM
7

If we have similar interests and personalities and get along, that’s what creates the friendship. I don’t care if she’s a sex worker. But wanting a lot of money in order to buy expensive shit is something I don’t relate to at all, so I don’t think we’d be compatible yo begin with. I don’t have a single friend who prioritizes money to buy expensive stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 01:05 AM
1

No idea what you’re trying to say in the second paragraph. Where I live, the father is absolutely responsible for supporting the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 10:30 PM
1

There is a large random component. Some people you will only have platonic feelings for, despite them checking the apparent boxes. There is no agency in feeling attraction. It just is. You can decide whether to act on attraction. Agency is in how you act.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:14 PM
2

No. You choose a lot of the things about yourself, regardless of your situation of birth. Your religion and politics can be the opposite of your family’s. Mine are. You may attracted to someone who looks a lot different than you, or not. You may want someone from your background, or you may love the idea of being with someone from another culture. You may be a sciency type that likes artsy types. You may come from an athletic outdoorsy family but really want someone whose idea of a good time is …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:30 PM
1

No. Where’d that idea come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:58 PM
1

He would have to be fabulous, by my standards, which of course are not other people’s standards. My friends would not choose the guys I do and vice versa. If I don’t have enthusiasm, why bother? I’d rather be without a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:23 PM
2

It’s not a question of status. I have no interest in rich or super attractive. I don’t really like rich people and don’t identify with them. Most men I’ve dated have less money than I do and are cute but not more. The perfect lifestyle would be an amazing alignment of commonalities. I would feel that I found my person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:08 PM
1

I have once or twice in my life because it was a really nice guy. It does not work.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 04:20 PM
1

No. Attraction is rare to begin with and and unlikely to occur. It’s not a question of being open and giving it time. It literally does not work like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:48 PM
1

Why do I have to sacrifice my life to prove harmony between different people is possible? Why on earth would I do that? I am HAPPILY divorced, my kids are HAPPILY living with me, and I don’t want to prove anything to anybody. I want to have sex with guys I’m attracted to if we both feel like it, and possibly get into a serious relationship one day if the compatibility and attraction align. But there’s a lot of stuff I’m not willing to put up with and I’m very happy to be single. I don’t owe anyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:44 PM
2

I have no use for peace and love from the wrong person. I am happy without a SO. I have friends and other family. I make my own peace. Being stuck with someone I don’t love in a romantic sense is soooooo much worse than being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:37 PM
3

It can happen over time but there is nothing you can do to make it happen. It either does ir doesn’t happen. You can’t work hard at it to get a particular outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:33 PM
4

I don’t see them in a different light. I can’t actively make that happen. It does not work like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:31 PM
3

Normal people are not disgusting by and large. Having sex with someone you’re not attracted to is disgusting. If exposure was relevant then I would want to have sex with my boss, my male coworkers, my male friends. I. do. not. I would not even want to have sex with my close male friends who are good looking. No. No. No. This is all delulu.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:29 PM
5

Hello? Exposure therapy is for phobias. It may treat my fear of spiders. It does not make you attracted to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:58 PM
5

No, they are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:45 AM
5

If this worked I would want to fuck my friends. I absolutely do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:43 AM
6

Gross!! Absolutely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:41 AM
1

People don’t get the perfect mate. If you’re not attracted to your partner, don’t be with them. Doesn’t matter how nice they are. Who wants to be sexual with someone they’re not attracted to? And you can’t talk yourself into attraction by extolling someone’s virtues.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:37 AM
–

Then crusade against circumcision. That’s a bodily autonomy issue. My son is not circumcised. I believe it’s a form of genital mutilation. Circumcision rates in the US have dropped in the recent past. Having to pay for a child that your sperm created is not an innuendo of bodily autonomy. Unless the sperm was forcibly taken out of you without your consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:06 AM
–

No, because the child needs the support of two parents and the government aka taxpayers don’t want that responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:01 AM
–

Yes, because becoming a parent or not is simply the consequence of her continuing the pregnancy in her body. That’s just how it is. Once the sperm is in her body and there’s no magical way to get it back, it’s out of the man’s hands. We only get to decide about our own bodies. A kid is entitled to the support of both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:00 AM
–

Neither party can put a child up for adoption without the other party’s consent. If the woman has the baby with the understanding that she and the father are on the same page about giving it up, and he changes his mind, then she is liable for child support. The child is entitled to the support of both parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:55 AM
–

A man can get welfare and child support too depending on his and the mom’s income and the custody arrangement.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:53 AM
–

If there is a child, both parent are required to support it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:51 AM
1

No, I’m in no way implying that Latino men are the ones keeping social services afloat via their taxes. Good grief. I’m saying I’m seeing them do the HARD work - construction, road crews in the sweltering summers, etc. I did not mention taxes or earnings. The harder work is generally not the best paying. You are having a really hard time following.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 09:16 AM
–

I’m not arguing for anything. I’m saying I see Latino men doing the hard jobs. You keep not addressing your own comment about how superior white men are and how rough they have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 03:04 AM
–

Around here it’s all Latino men doing the tough jobs. And no, white men are in no way superior to anyone else. Such outrageous, unwarranted arrogance.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 10:41 PM
1

Ah, pure racism! Got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:27 PM
1

What does that mean? You have a genetic advantage being a while male? Or you have a privilege advantage?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:17 PM
1

So are white men simply superior in some way that justifies their disproportionate inclusion in upper management, or are have they had some unfair advantage? Or is there a 3rd scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:06 PM
0

You mean how white men still hold a disproportionately high percentage of leadership positions in top companies, but not as high as before? Because any other group wanting to be treated fairly counts as discrimination against the white man? Because the white man losing an unfair advantage counts as discrimination? The US tax code does not consider gender AT ALL. There isn’t a place to put it on a 1040 because it’s totally irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 10:39 AM
0

He has it uniquely bad? Corporations have use for anyone with money to spend. The government has use for anyone who pays taxes. Aside from general goodwill, who really cares specifically about anyone other than friends and family?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 03:27 PM
13

Wait. What? You mean that you don’t have large, wild animals running loose that need to be speared?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:01 PM
3

Did someone tell you it’s your job to be in the army?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:58 PM
–

No it’s not your job and this whole protection thing is weird to me. I’ve never had a guy “protect” me or needed anyone to protect me. In a dangerous situation I wouldn’t want anyone I care about unnecessarily jeopardizing their well-being.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:02 PM
1

And the benefits of the contract of marriage — and I can only talk about the U.S. here — are largely related to taxes, inheritance in absence of a will, making medical decisions, hospital visitation, being able to be included in employer medical plans, increased Social Security options.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:07 PM
1

Yes. When people refer to the benefits of marriage for men, they generally mean it in the sense of being the opposite of being single and living alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:59 PM
1

No. The noise downstairs is the cat knocking something over or the chinchilla jumping around and never an intruder. Besides which, going down to confront a suspected intruder would be an idiot move.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:43 PM
0

That was my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:39 PM
9

I became the default person in charge of everything when we moved in. I know other women who feel the same, do the lion’s share of the work related to the house while also working full-time. I ended up helping my ex with all sorts of business and personal stuff too, while handling all of my own on my own. It’s great that your husband does so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:39 PM
5

Men get the benefits of marriage already if the couple is living together. So little incentive to marry. It’s the living together in a romantic relationship part of marriage that benefits men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 02:53 PM
1

Abortion is plenty of a consequence. It’s not a headache pill. Woman are only able to decouple sex and parenthood because it’s their body that gets pregnant. That’s just anatomical reality that you can’t change and you need to accept. If anatomy and physiology worked differently, then you’d have your wish. Things aren’t the same for men and women because men and women are not the same. Abortion isn’t natural. Birth control pills aren’t natural. Lots of things aren’t. When we don’t have medical o…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:53 PM
0

It was his choice to engage in the activity that created the child. He doesn’t have to like natural consequences. They happen anyway. He got his semen in her, and now he says, Hey woman get an abortion, Hey government pay up. I’m off the hook here because I don’t like the highly predictable consequence of my action. Woe is me! Man wants an option for zero accountability while getting to enjoy sex. That’s not how it works nor how it should work.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:56 PM
2

That makes the taxpayer responsible for the man’s choice to have sex. HE created the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:58 AM
1

Your argument was the cost, not the nature of the offense. But if you want to talk about the nature of the offense, willfully refusing to pay child support does not belong in the same category as having other types of debt, especially medical debt. For this reason it is not discharged on bankruptcy. You don’t want to be a father? Too bad. You created the child. You don’t get to impregnate someone and then insist she get an abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:49 AM
1

Where is the government going to get $50 k per year per child? In the US about half the population doesn’t even earn 50k per year.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 07:32 AM
11

It costs more to jail someone for stealing a thousand dollars worth of goods than it does for the government to just pick up the tab. Why doesn’t the government just stop prosecuting theft? How about fraud? If I only cheat someone out of a few thousand dollars why should I go to jail? The government should just pay it so that I can keep working and paying taxes and contributing to the economy and not have to pay my room and board in prison. OP’s logic is beyond effed up. These pills are leading …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 07:23 AM
1

Interesting. So both are pretending that she feels a certain way and this makes it possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 06:13 PM
1

No. Because by the definition above you could be having sex with a prostitute. She could be financially desperate and revolted by you, but that still counts as sex. What part of “only doing it for cash payment” implies love and desire?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 05:56 PM
1

So the importance of sex is not orgasm or ejaculation? Nor is it any type of feeling like love or being desired? It’s specifically having your sexual organs in contact with another human’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 04:53 PM
1

How do you define sex? Do masturbation and fleshlights count?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 04:14 PM
6

Just sex with someone who is attracted to you and wants to have sex with you, without love, is way different to me than someone who won’t do it unless you pay them. It’s just such a massive ick factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:46 PM
11

Haha. Maybe, although I think chefs generally love to cook. There’s a difference between providing an everyday service and getting naked and letting someone stick their dick in you. Do you personally equate cooking for someone and letting them stick their dick in you as comparable?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 03:16 PM
33

I don’t oppose sex work as long as the woman is not being exploited. As a completely side issue, I’m fascinated that men can even enjoy sex with someone who will only do it for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 07:46 AM
10

No one needs to settle. You can stay single. If you’re not enthusiastic about someone why would you pretend otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 10:51 PM
3

Dude, the 32 vs 28 % is taken directly from the bar graph in #1. Item no 3 in the article says, in quotes: “The percentage of single Americans who are looking for a relationship or casual dates is lower than in 2019, especially among men.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 01:34 PM
9

“The percentage of single Americans who are looking for a relationship or casual dates is lower than in 2019, especially among men”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 09:11 AM
26

Women dating older men doesn’t translate to 3 women sharing one man, as the post asserts.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 09:09 AM
1

Women dating older men doesn’t translate to 3 women sharing one man, as the post asserts.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 09:08 AM
72

The research you cite says that 32% of men and 28% of women are single. This in no way supports your idea that 3 women share the same man. The research also clearly says that single people by and large are not looking for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 08:59 AM
–

How could a man’s “need” for sex be structurally supported? Would social validation actually help? If everyone just said “Yeah, it really sucks to not have this need met”, would that actually help? Or do you expect women to put out as part of the package?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 08:15 AM
–

You seem to not understand this issue. I’m not going to boycott every male-owned business and I don’t know a woman who does. It’s not practical. It IS practical to support female-owned businesses when a viable, or nearly-viable option exists. If you want to talk about the predominantly male power structure than harms women, that’s a separate issue. Decentering focuses on personal interactions. I don’t interact personally with the CEO of Reddit. That I don’t even know who he is is good evidence t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:32 PM
–

No. It’s that they don’t care. It’s not relevant. Using Reddit benefits them. Engaging with the average guy in an interpersonal way doesn’t. They are being practical and making choices to maximize their happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:20 PM
–

No. Because boycotting men means investing time in finding out the owner of every large or tiny company you patronize and locating a suitable replacement. Is this restaurant owned by a man? Is there a woman who can come fix my emergency plumbing or HVAC problem? Decentering men means you just don’t engage when they present themselves. It’s a no-effort approach. A guy asks you out, you decline; a guy negs you, you ignore; a guy compliments your photo on Insta, you just keep scrolling the comments…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:13 PM
–

Women decenter men in a way that benefits them. That’s the whole point. It’s about improving your life. It doesn’t benefit me to stop shopping at Amazon. It does benefit me to not engage with a lot of men personally. I do tend to choose female providers often when there is an equal option. But business transactions are business, not personal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:03 PM
5

My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t give a rat’s ass if a man doesn’t find me attractive. Is a man some sort of prize? Regardless, the moms I know are totally hot. Ragebait.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:57 AM
1

Married couples just spend their money on other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 04:16 PM
1

I have full custody of my kids, so yes. But just dating. I’m not looking to be a stepmom or to have a stepfather to my kids, and plan on never marrying again.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 01:38 PM
5

Kids need doctor, dentist, and orthodontist appointments. They need permission slips and school supplies and help with nightly homework. They want play dates and activities like sports, music, scouting, which are all good for them. They get invited to birthday parties and need gifts and a card. They need someone home with them when they’re sick. They need new clothes for every season because they grow like weeds, and new shoes every year. They need their laundry done so that they have the correc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 09:45 PM
3

As a woman who hit the alleged wall a decade ago, I can tell you that it is no impediment to relationships. Do you know how many divorced guys there are out there? You think the only reason people form relationships is to have a family? At a certain point men don’t want children or don’t want more children, and a younger woman who wants a baby is an absolute no.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 11:57 AM
10

Not her either, but I wanted my kids to have a stable family and I didn’t realize how much work my husband was going to be. After you have kids and your own house and you’ve created a new life for yourself, I think many women find that there are more disadvantages than advantages to remarriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:33 AM
3

They can’t tell? Is the woman enthusiastic or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:31 PM
3

Hi. No, my expectations aren’t very different, I don’t think. There is a subset of guys out there who think I’m beautiful. It’s small and it baffles me, but I’ve been pursued by good looking professional guys over more attractive women, and been in LTRs with them, enough times that I acknowledge it’s real. If a guy would treat me as lesser then I know right away he’s not for me. It’s really a gift to get the “biased” treatment. It tells you you’re being settled for. So if a guy fears he’s being …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 08:37 PM
4

Not bad. Just useless. Pretty privilege is a thing. And relationships are not a thing you can yell “bias” over. It’s not a job interview.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:54 PM
6

I am unironically asking you why you think a discussion is needed over someone who another person is attracted being treated differently and having their words and actions interpreted differently than someone they’re not attracted to. It’s not a job interview, it’s a personal relationship. As an average looking woman I don’t expect the same leeway and interpretation that a really attractive woman gets. I can’t get away with the same behavior. At all. I don’t get the same treatment. That’s just l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:51 PM
1

I don’t think so. I’ve learned exactly what my bf likes and doesn’t like, and it certainly wasn’t all intuitive and it took a while to master.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:09 PM
9

Why is it important to discuss it? What do you hope to accomplish?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 06:33 PM
–

I find that people who have well thought out profiles are more likely to manage the conversation well. And I’d rather be disappointed than try to make something work with someone who isn’t a great match.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 02:42 PM
4

I don’t have photos of nor do I mention fishing, music, food, travel, height, yoga or any series.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 10:40 PM
1

Looks spot on to me. Or are these guys using a net? 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 10:37 PM
4

So you stick a hook through an animal’s mouth for fun and then throw it back? I’ve never understood this. Are there other animals that you stab and trap for fun? I think profiles would be more successful if they showed caring for wildlife.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 09:33 PM
11

And you’re free to be critical and swipe left. No double standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:57 PM
0

I don’t particularly like fish or fishing and definitely don’t want the day’s catch on the dinner table. I definitely don’t have any interest in fishing as a hobby. Maybe it’s the equivalent of me holding up a crochet project in my profile. There are other things that indicate being outdoorsy or environmentally-oriented. The fishermen I know aren’t particularly green. If it were a guy holding up a tiny bagged fish from the pet store, then we’re talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:55 PM
3

I prefer the Honda guy. I am a Honda gal. I wouldn’t choose a more expensive car even if I had the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 04:33 PM
3

I wouldn’t not date a guy so emotionally repressed. So I do know that they don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 02:05 PM
2

This doesn’t happen. Guys don’t care. And I wouldn’t put up with that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 11:49 AM
4

No. Feminist guys date me and “immodest” women like me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:30 AM
3

You are having some other conversation here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 07:15 PM
3

Love is feelings. What do you want it to be? Logic? A checklist? Talking to someone and discovering that you have the same values, worldview, interests, etc. is absolutely not “vibes.” Some objective reality, which doesn’t even exist, is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is the perspective of the two people in the relationship with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 07:11 PM
4

Perhaps not for you, dawg, but you’re not the only kind out there. Attractiveness is subjective and attraction is your own personal reaction to another person. And neither one is fixed. There is no issue of “performing”, but of two people naturally connecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 06:40 PM
3

Nonsensical reply at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:58 PM
1

Geez. That’s horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 03:42 PM
7

Right. And what’s more, the interpretation here is that women don’t swipe on a man because he’s not physically attractive. But is there some evidence that that’s the reason? Are there no other factors at play? I swipe left on plenty of guys I’d otherwise swipe right on if I liked their bio. I find that more than half of guys have basically the same bio with somewhat different wording.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:53 PM
3

I find bios extremely helpful. I would never swipe on a guy if he didn’t have one or what I read didn’t jive with me. Overall I don’t find them to be fake. Some are really well thought out. But I really like people who are good with words and writing. I haven’t yet met someone whose profile wasn’t very largely accurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:45 PM
12

30% is huge. Say you have a deck of 500 profiles (not that you know how many guys there are to look through because apps don’t tell you). 30% is 150 potential matches. I find that insane. Dating apps are a place to be extremely selective otherwise you’re overwhelmed. If only guy was matched by more than 80% that tells me the women DID have different preferences. My swipe rate is less than 1% and it’s not because of ugliness. I know how many profiles are in my area in a 20mile radius because I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:33 PM
46

This is spot on. The middle is a huge area. I find most guys to be decent looking, but they don’t hold any appeal for me unless I find them interesting. They I perceive them as much better looking, even hot af depending on how well we jibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 02:25 PM
7

I had my kids late. They aren’t any more embarrassed by me than their friends are by their parents. And the generation gap happens at any parenting age. I got to establish a career, plump up a 401k early (which is a huge advantage), do fun things and TRAVEL. Travel is not the same with kids. You can get testing done for lots of genetic problems. Stop fear mongering.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 08:05 PM
–

Having experience with lots of different women gives a guy a lot of things to try with the current one. Knowing lots of different positions and where they hit is amazing. I’ll take experienced any day.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:58 PM
7

I think it’s great. He probably learned a lot of cool things that we can do together. I benefit from this. If things calm down after a year or so I just chalk that up to getting older, changing preferences, that wilder ways sometimes simply become tamer over time, and that that particular experimental time has passed. As long as our sex life is fun and mutually fulfilling, I’m happy. I’ve also done things in the past that I’ve grown out of. My bf is amazing in bed and I thank all the women who c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:21 AM
2

Many of the studies? Where specifically is this? I just see every study resulting in men having worse reactions that the women have to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 09:09 AM
2

So the issue seems to be that men decide to engage in bad behavior when they’re not the breadwinner. Basically, men have a temper tantrum and act out and that’s why the relationship falters. Boo hoo fucking hoo. So your point is that women should allow men to be the breadwinner and should devote themselves to the grocery shopping just so their overgrown toddler spouses don’t have meltdowns??? Are you actually serious?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 03:36 AM
-2

Maybe the conversation wasn’t that interesting. Maybe she didn’t think there was enough in common. That there was some initial interest doesn’t mean much.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 10:50 PM
2

How specifically do they not fare well?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:14 PM
2

Why is being the modern breadwinner analogous to being the difficult resource provider? Having worked and been a SAHM, I find working easier. Modern men don’t need strength to drag an elk back to camp. A lot of modern employment requires mental, not physical, ability as well as juggling many things at once. If the men were out focused on hunting and the women were gathering, cooking, cleaning, keeping the kids from falling into the fire, wouldn’t they be better adapted to modern work?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:11 PM
5

Hardly ever. I like guys who are well read, cultured, and witty.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 02:45 AM
1

I didn’t generalize. OP is not a woman and is also not demisexual. Some men are. Women mostly distinguish between someone being attractive and feeling attraction to that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 12:20 PM
4

Not. Dating and romance is for every age. So many people 40 and up on dating apps. Dating in the years since my divorce has been about equal parts excitement and passion versus shit show. Wasted time? You act like people get into a relationship young and stay there forever. Bumble has in the high hundreds number of guys in my dating age range in an 18-mile radius, most of whom were married once. Romance only needs to end when you’re dead.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 02:44 AM
2

A different demographic, I guess. Or just a different personal experience. I’m older and I don’t know any woman in my life who would say this. My son is a high schooler and he has lots of girls showing interest in him - starting convos out of nowhere, asking if he has a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 06:20 PM
2

I don’t think it has anything to do with ego. It could be discomfort with doing something they don’t have experience with. It could be that they worry it makes them look bad/overly forward. It could be that they think that the guy will be more likely to give them attention without actually liking them because he knows they’re really interested. There are lots of explanations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:18 PM
6

Consider as most important. OP is upset that women in his tier of attractiveness or 1-2 below haven’t dated him. And he defines this by “objective” standards. He doesn’t even mention any other qualities. A woman is like a grade of beef.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:50 AM
2

I’ve known quite a lot on a deep level. A partner is someone you have to get along well with, live amicably with, spend lots of time with, enjoy (or not) having conversations with, feel supported and understood (or not), hopefully for the long haul. Prioritizing attractiveness over all else seems insane to me, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:43 AM
4

I’m with you. I don’t relate to assessing people based on how much other people want them. I want someone super compatible with me. If a guy doesn’t share my values and have somewhat similar interests, it doesn’t matter how “high status” he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:36 AM
1

Is this all a woman is? A level of attractiveness? Is all the rest so much the same among all women that her level of attractiveness is the priority?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 08:29 AM
7

Good grief. This stratification of people into levels and classifying them into tiers based on what other people think/do is so outrageous. How about assessing people in terms of actually important things, like how compatible you are?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 07:56 AM
4

I was not attracted to him and I did initially consider him too unattractive to ever date. But let’s also be clear that acknowledging someone as attractive and being attracted to them are two entirely different things. You are not a woman and clearly not a demisexual and just because things are so black and white for you doesn’t mean they are so for everyone else. Looks are going to give you a happy LTR relationship. Nor will big boobs. Unless someone really is that vapid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 06:55 PM
3

Not necessarily. I find the physical attraction can grow over time. I’ve ended up madly in love with and wildly attracted to guys who I had zero attraction to to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 04:03 PM
12

This is idiocy. I’m looking for a decent-looking, liberal, non religious, indoorsy, reading guy who is smart and witty and culturally/arts inclined and makes a decent living. And no, I might not fall in love with every guy who meets this. But given an abundance of positive of character traits and a dearth of negative ones, there’s a pretty decent chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 12:35 PM
2

What problem? That there are guys who aren’t successful dating? That women aren’t wanting to date the guys you think they should be?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:34 PM
20

Right? I’m raising both my son and daughter to be independent, resourceful, responsible, accountable, proactive, and to make good decisions about their friends and future romantic partners. And that they don’t need a relationship. Everyone else I know is doing the same with their kids. “Well, honey, it’s okay to fail out of school because you can always secure a low-value partner later on,” said no one I know, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:13 PM
12

Worthwhile romantic relationships are not competitive environments. If I’m in love with my partner and happy, no one “better” in any criteria is going to sway me from him. Girls are not told they are the prize and are not rewarded for mediocrity any more than boys. People are free to pursue any partner they want. It’s outrageous to think anyone should go after anyone based on what some random other thinks is “compatible.” If a woman would rather be alone than not get the guy she really wants, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 06:01 PM
2

Sorry! I totally misread.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:04 PM
6

No. Politics is a dealbreaker for many.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:22 PM
5

He can’t be just really unattractive. But as long as he’s decent looking, if he and I really connect I’ll soon be all over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 11:08 PM
8

I have to be crazy about him as a person. He doesn’t have to look any particular way.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 10:17 PM
5

No. You are doing it so that you yourself are happier with your appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:09 PM
9

You do things FOR YOURSELF.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 07:53 PM
2

I have never had this conversation with any of my friends. I have no idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:03 AM
1

I look at attractive people of both sexes just because it’s human nature to look at attractive things. I have zero interest in the attractive guy. He does nothing for me sexually. I may just notice him more than others. No biggie. I’ll look longer at an attractive woman because there’s no danger or misunderstanding there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 07:41 PM
2

Ridiculous. I don’t think rewriting profiles pays very well and I have zero interest in trying to create a business. I get enough satisfaction with side writing. I already make good money doing something I love and studied quite a lot for. And no, it’s not dishwashing ffs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 12:45 AM
4

No. That’s a weird take. It means I’m a humanitarian and would help for free or minimal pay. And only on the side because I’d never give up my job to do this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 11:38 AM
2

I could totally write the average Bumble guy a much better profile. Most of them are so uninteresting and generic. I don’t know that I’d be rich but my profile is very unique and I’m a pretty good writer.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 04:28 AM
2

You entered the contract. Maybe you should have gotten a pre-nup. Maybe you should have insisted your partner get a job. Maybe you should cut your losses and divide the marital assets now, because when your partner finds out down the road that you’re cheating there will be even more marital assets to divide.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 12:13 AM
7

Not at all. Give me a guy doing math, playing a board game, snuggling a cat, doing yoga, killing a crossword.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 09:09 PM
4

There’s your answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 12:16 PM
12

Yes, enormously. Does your dick feel good prior to orgasm?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:17 AM
2

For me it’s an immediate swipe left.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:33 PM
7

None of this is necessary to find a decent guy and get married, if that’s what you want. If you want to do such things for yourself, great. But not for the end of “securing” a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 07:38 PM
2

Way more than 94. I am looking for someone really compatible. I read profiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 04:11 AM
6

I’m not taken aback. At all. I am totally unbothered. And I find it totally reasonable. My point is that you can simply not get any matches from a swipe session. I don’t swipe on an excessive number of guys at once. I wait to see if anything happens. If I had swiped on 12 instead of 6 and gotten 10 matches, then I’d be one of the women being complained about here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 04:03 AM
2

I’ve gotten far less at times. I’m back on Bumble after several months and have gotten no matches after swiping on 6 guys. Maybe they aren’t active. Maybe I don’t fit their search requirements. Maybe they don’t like something about my profile. Who knows. I’ll just try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:53 AM
2

You don’t necessarily get the matches immediately. Unless the guy has already seen you. You do the swiping and that puts you at the top of their deck they have to swipe on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:46 AM
4

There is no “maybe” option so you have to pick yes or no. You don’t see all potential matches at once to pick the ones who prefer the most. You are making a decision on one person without seeing the rest. I think it’s the design of the apps where you can’t circle back that is largely responsible for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:42 AM
1

Not all guys swipe right on you and you may not even be in their queue to swipe on depending on how they’ve set their filters.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 03:36 AM
3

How are cheaters rewarded? That they’re able to do what they want and not be shunned by the community at large? People probably disapprove but they aren’t going to make huge efforts to punish the offender. They have their own lives and problems. I think that people absolutely feel for the victims is cheating and treat them gently. But ultimately they have to move forward with their lives and be their own advocate, so being sad has to coexist with re-creating your life. Ultimately we can’t contro…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 02:49 PM
6

People can generally divorce for any reason or no reason. And even if the other partner opposes the divorce and makes your life hell, you can move in with your new partner while still being legally married. Infidelity is not the reason for anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 11:24 AM
2

Well the programs have teams that are full. The cost is its own issue but there is no lack of demand. There’s plenty of rec for those who want cheap. 40% is a good number when you consider that there are other types of activities to do as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 01:50 AM
20

My degrees are trophies to show my girlfriends? For real? This is 100% delusional. I have studied for MYSELF, to be able to do work that I love. I plain do not compete with other women. The women in my life don’t either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 01:25 AM
0

The number of youth sports programs has exploded in the past few decades. I dint know about watching sports but 40% of kids/teens play some sport. I don’t see that as disinterest.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 01:22 AM
1

This where I intended my reply to go…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:05 PM
-2

As I already described above.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:59 PM
0

Increasingly from the point where we’ve met and are dating. Not from the start. They only are attentive with texting in the beginning and then that drops off. I feel like I always put in more effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:50 PM
6

I buy his favorite beer and bourbon. I offer to drop off food and pick up rxes when he’s not feeling well. I text good morning messages and all sorts of affection. I give very tailored gifts for holidays because I pay attention to what he likes. I plan fun dates. I ask about his day, work, family, friends, and demonstrate extreme interest in his life. I vacuum his house while he takes his long showers to try to help with his allergies.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:35 PM
11

I’ve rejected that possibility. $10 flowers from Trader Joe’s every once in a while from a guy earning well should not be economically unviable. It’s a small thing. I am also a gift giver of small things. Also, effort doesn’t cost any money. It’s just allocating time to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 11:21 AM
25

I would love it if a guy I was dating would buy me a $10 bouquet of Trader Joe’s flowers every once in a while. Where are all these guys that buy gifts and expend such effort? I pick guys who I think have a lot in common with me, who aren’t hot by objective standards. They start off extremely enthusiastic (in words) but end up giving me crumbs after I’ve totally fallen for them. My attention, affection and effort turn out only very minimally returned. I want to be one of these average women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 09:02 AM
10

“Logical” is a weird word choice. In reality, people change and grow apart. Plenty of people claim to not find monogamy personally doable. Lots of people cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 11:20 AM
1

Urban areas are more liberal. Data don’t prove or disprove. I don’t live close to lots of people suffering in the world. That doesn’t mean I don’t care and wouldn’t support them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:48 PM
1

It is absolutely not true that people are motivated by the pure self-interest you claim. It is absolutely not true that people don’t care about issues that don’t affect them personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:30 PM
1

Do you realize what a horrible self-indictment this is? You only care about things that directly affect you or someone close to you? Why care about how black people are treated if you’re not black? Why care about LBGQT issues if you’re straight? Why care about poor people if you’re financially comfortable? Life philosophy of “I only care about myself” is really reprehensible, not that such people care.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 12:46 PM
1

No, that’s not how it works. Don’t try to define women by men’s standards. You can like sex just fine and not want to have it with a particular person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 08:23 PM
9

No case. No point. He was absolutely agitated when he said it. Not a joke.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 07:54 AM
3

At that time, statistician.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 07:50 AM
20

I’ve had guys fade away after realizing what job I do, how I speak, what I talk about, and how even how well I do the NYT puzzles. One even said to me out of the blue “I may not be smart, but I know how to fuck” Like, what?? Many are absolutely intimidated by smart women because they feel inferior. They want to be the smarter ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 10:54 PM
1

I don’t give a rodent’s hindquarters how much my intellect enriches a man’s life. Such incredible main character syndrome.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 10:50 PM
4

Women don’t really think about this. The whole “value” seems to have originated from the pill sphere.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 02:53 PM
2

Wouldn’t eat it, don’t want it, don’t want the reminder of my ex in my space. No way no how. Just leave me alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:31 PM
5

The idea of divorce is to cut the connection as entirely as possible. There is a reason for the alimony, which is to allow the SAHP to get reestablished in the workforce. There is no need for one person to be preparing and delivering food to the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 02:30 PM
16

Divorce is intended to allow you to cut all contact. Alimony is generally temporary and rehabilitative and sent electronically with zero contact between ex partners. Other posts explain well why alimony exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/25 05:15 AM
1

I’m not following.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 09:43 PM
1

If you felt that way, yes. Physical contact is its own category because it’s your person. It’s your bodily autonomy. No one earns it no matter what chores they do. You decide to give it. Or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:39 PM
1

Mopping the floor when it needs it is a chore, hopefully not daily. A full-ish sink is a chore. My understanding of the OP, correct or wrong, was that he was referring to things that needed to be done, not things like cleaning out the cupboard. As for sex being special, you could say the same for snuggling. If I’m pissed that I’m doing a disproportionate amount of work, don’t touch me. Anything physical, anything involving your body, anything involving direct expressions of affection — is not th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 04:22 PM
1

But doing one’s share of household chores shouldn’t be considered as something subjectively important to the other person. It shouldn’t be like you’re doing them some favor that will beget your own favor You’re just doing your fair share because you’re a reasonable person. Nor should having sex be considered some favor. You should be having sex because you want to, not because it’s important to the other person and you’re paying them back. I would be horrified to know that my partner was having …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 01:29 PM
3

I think that too many men still consider all the work in a home to be the woman’s responsibility and therefore anything they contribute is “helping her out”. How else can this expression be interpreted? It’s very telling to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 11:30 AM
1

I’m saying that anything can become transactional in response to a bad situation. As such there is no need to separate sex out as something that can become transactional. Would you be making an effort to point out that affection, support, help, attention, etc are all transactional? No? If not, then don’t do it for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 11:17 AM
7

We like sex but lose our desire to have it with someone we feel resentment towards.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:46 AM
4

I only find men attractive when I don’t have to be their mommy and clean up after them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:44 AM
–

Yes, because the issue on r/deadbedroom is generally a lack of libido. I mentioned this sub to demonstrate that it’s not only men who want sex and aren’t getting it. Women there are starved for sexual intimacy as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:42 AM
–

The OP clearly thinks so. I think not. Not in a healthy relationship, that is. However when things go south in a relationship, people look for leverage to try to get their needs met, and it would appear that sex is often the best leverage. But when you are at the point of looking for leverage, anything can become transactional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:34 AM
–

Is he doing his fair share of chores and emotional labor or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:47 AM
9

Perhaps she has tried different strategies and this is the most effective. And she probably doesn’t feel much desire to have sex anyway, as nothing kills desire like resentment. Not doing dishes at all isn’t going to work because the mess will bother her but not him. That’s how they got into this situation to begin with. How about he just do his fair share because he understands that’s he’s supposed to be an actual partner? Why is this so hard?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 07:22 AM
8

That’s right. Plenty of both genders on r/deadbedroom. The people there report trying everything, above and beyond being an actual functioning partner. If sex is transactional because she wants him to do chores and emotional labor, as per OP, that’s because she’s doing a disproportionate share and feels her best/only solution is to leverage sex. It’s a shame he can’t just do his part without this.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:55 AM
31

This is all BS. Dead bedroom can be a problem for both genders. “Deny” is not the appropriate word to use with sex EVER. If sex ends up being a reward system in a relationship it’s because the other person isn’t pulling their weight. OF COURSE he should be doing chores and doing emotional labor. WTF? Go to r/sex and you’ll see that porn is absolutely approved for all genders unless it’s excessive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:07 AM
7

No kidding. The analogy above is simply grotesque. If you want bodily autonomy then you need to be putting out for whatever guy wants it, which in itself is an issue of lack of bodily autonomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 09:54 PM
10

If you don’t like her style, don’t date her. She’s not your dress-up doll to put in a turtleneck to make you feel better.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 07:07 PM
–

Whoa! So you’re saying that these women killed themselves due to too much empowerment and too little patriarchy?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 12:58 PM
8

That’s a wild claim that women hate the current state of society and are extremely unhappy. The women I know are happy to be able to be independent, income-earning homeowners, if that’s what they choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:29 AM
2

You can absolutely do whatever you want. You can absolutely stay single if you can’t find a man at your income level, if that’s important to you. You absolutely can decline to approach men if you don’t want to. Empowerment means you can do what you choose. Men on this sub always pair the word “attractive” with “woman”. It astounds me the degree to which men are looking for an “attractive woman” and never use any other adjective. Women, on the other hand, want more than good looks in a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 03:16 AM
3

Seriously? The last draft was 52 years ago. You want women to conduct marches on something that has no current or recent impact? Furthermore, you want women marching when men don’t even march? This is ridiculous. People march and protest on the big, here-and-now issues. Why does this even need to be said?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:57 PM
0

This is a lot of gross suppositions. I know a lot of women who, like me, expect to split bills or take turns, want dual providers, oppose the draft altogether, and have no issue with opposite gender friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:49 PM
–

No way. Never ever buy a car you haven’t test driven, ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:54 AM
0

No. I want other women to have already taught them skills. I’m too lazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 10:59 PM
1

Interesting. Thank you. I think that people walk the walk until they don’t. If I don’t see anything amiss with behavior until later down the line then I can’t know earlier than I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 06:49 PM
1

It’s not “the ick” and I used to go more by vibe. Anyone too confident, smarmy, superficial, or even good-looking was an immediate no-go. But that wasn’t enough. Then I tried to guess based on peripheral things in addition to them seeming like a genuine person. This nerdy, mathy guy who’s a bit shorter than me probably isn’t as likely to be playing me. This guy who’s a special ed teacher probably is higher empathy. This average-looking guy who’s actually quite a bit overweight and told me he has…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 06:17 PM
1

Of course. But I don’t see anyone claiming that the vibes are always right. I’m always amazed at cops who talk about a gut feeling. My gut feeling turns out to be wrong much more often than not. It’s not something that has gotten better with age. Just like I’m still tone deaf. That doesn’t mean I deserve to be treated crappily.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 05:39 PM
1

No. Women don’t say this. No one has divine intuition. And I never hear a woman claim this. They do mind being manipulated and didn’t realize he wasn’t as he presented until the mask slipped. They were fooled. Did you read the comments that you are replying to?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/25 05:32 PM
0

Hello? You really think we all think the same way? This is kind of insulting. Of course you’re going to get advice all over the place because women tell you what they individually think and we don’t have hive mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 08:32 PM
1

No. Whether the man got his kicks and no longer cared is not relevant.And it has nothing to do with whether the woman was continually impressed with his outfit. Your comments make no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 07:03 PM
1

I am talking about from the woman’s POV. The man’s mindset is not relevant to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:30 AM
5

Honestly, the guys here just largely seem to care that a woman is attractive. It’s like it’s the end-all, be-all. They don’t seem to care about much else, which still always surprises me. Women, on the other hand, do care about a lot of other things. Perhaps to some degree, also, women are appealing to men in their provider role. Men often like to feel that they’re providers and for that reason, a non-independent woman is not a turnoff. If men scoffed at these women and rejected them, things mig…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 11:12 AM
1

No. They are just messed up. It’s not related to brackets or embarrassment or doing better. This is such a guy take. It’s that they don’t know how to navigate conflict and run away, aren’t able to talk about emotions or sensitive issues in general, aren’t able to develop trust or experience vulnerability, and/or have had bad experiences in life that have closed them off. One guy told me he felt so inadequate because his ex wife had cheated on him with a real asshole just because he had a really …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 06:39 PM
0

I do, thanks for the suggestion. Being emotionally unavailable usually only reveals itself with time, and doesn’t relate to me. If they wore a scarlet EU then I’d avoid them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:20 PM
6

I love dating apps because I’m looking for something specific. I hate night clubs and bars. And don’t have a lot of free time. If I do, I meet up with friends in activities that don’t involve new people — lunch, movies. Just us catching up. How am I supposed to find someone who loves to stay at home and read by going out and socializing? Someone who’s quiet and introverted? Dating apps make guys known to me who would never cross my path and are more compatible with me than the ones who do. If yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 12:18 PM
4

Um, yes. An overt douchebag is easy to detect. But being a douchebag sometimes only reveals itself over time as the mask slips. The rest are pretty easy to detect.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:34 AM
2

No. You cannot imagine the guys of all ages who are not emotionally available. I’m older and it’s been a primary issue my whole dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:27 AM
1

Why does it matter? What would happen? I don’t understand why this is a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:38 PM
1

What would happen? Don’t we all already know this? This seems within the range of normal to me. After all, men are always telling women how beautiful and hot they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 12:25 PM
12

No. My divorce was the third best thing to ever happen to me, after the birth of my 2 children. I managed to shake off the equivalent of 2 children in one fell swoop. My life became so much easier. Several months after he moved out I came down to the kitchen one morning and thought about making coffee. Then I realized that before there were occasions when I woke up and the coffee was already made. But that was the first and only thing I “missed” because I did basically everything. It’s why I’m h…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 07:38 PM
1

You have zero knowledge of my motives. You are pulling that out of your ass. It detracts from your credibility. I disagree with your assessment. And I 100% stand by what I said. Trying to bring you people to reason and reality is a lost cause. What a sub. We’ll just have to agree to disagree. And I’ll go enjoy my highly COMPATIBLE boyfriend - liberal, feminist, indoorsy, book reading, board game playing, non-overspending, investing oriented, no new kids wanting, medium energy, medium sociability…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:25 PM
6

Just compatibility, yes. Comparability and attraction together are required for a happy romantic relationship. Both.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 12:16 PM
4

Yes, but that relationship will be in the toilet sooner rather than later. She will not be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:38 AM
3

No. Looks and status will not get you far. Can you live together happily as roommates? Can you live together happily as life partners? So you want similar things from life? Do you have the same values? Do your interests and hobbies and activities have overlap? Show me a hot rich guy who’s got little in common with me and I have ZERO interest. Men who don’t look at women except to see a number on a scale obviously have no idea whatsoever what I’m talking about. But compatibility and attraction ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 11:36 AM
15

Every woman I know wants a man she is compatible with. Looks and status aren’t what make a happy marriage. If that’s all you consider, chances are you’ll end up miserable. People aren’t as vapid as you make them out to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:46 AM
2

People in the suburbs have cars. Lack of transport is not the reason for isolation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 03:54 PM
2

But there are literally tons of divorced guys for her to date. Being married doesn’t take everyone off the market forever. Everyone I’ve dated in my 40s has been divorced. It just didn’t work out for them, because finding a lifelong compatible partner is complicated, way more difficult than pairing up with your “looksmatch”.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:33 AM
1

wtf? What’s up with the constant cat hate? Cats are wonderful companions and I prefer mine to my ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:28 AM
–

Women who go after violent felons have serious issues. The vast majority of women don’t relate to this at all. Not being violent is a given for most women. It doesn’t earn your autistic guy any extra points.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 11:21 AM
1

Plenty of research out there, but whatever. Hope you have extra room in your house.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 04:17 PM
1

Not my fault you think it’s a game.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 04:12 PM
1

Seriously? Poverty is the baseline human condition and we’re supposed to be okay with that and keep adding to it? And be okay with poverty not being quite as miserable, allegedly, than it used to be. That sounds pretty subjective to me. And downright inhumane. Whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 03:49 PM
1

No it’s not. First of all, the population has increased by a factor of 8 in the past few hundred years. Why in earth are we worried about a declining birth rate? Consumption patterns, resource limitations and depletion, increased pollution, trash creation, climate change. Congestion. The World Bank estimates a 9% worldwide poverty rate. So 700 million people already aren’t being adequately provided for.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 03:05 PM
–

Go for it, sir! Go after what you want. Most available guys out there your age either don’t want kids at all or already have kids of a certain age and don’t want to go back to the baby phase. As in, hell no. Kids are finally old enough for dad to make himself more of a priority. They are established and want a woman to be in a relationship who absolutely does not want to be pregnant. The relief when I tell them I simply could not get pregnant is palpable.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 12:10 AM
–

Haha no. As a post-40 woman I can tell you there are boatloads of guys in their 40s and 50s who are divorced and looking to kindle a new relationship. And with a woman my age. Someone they relate to. I could be going out with different guys all the time. I know that it gives you joy to think that women of a certain age are miserable, ugly, lonely hags, but that’s a complete invention. Cause you know, despite how good looking or interesting or successful a guy is, a large percentage of relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:38 PM
–

The world is overpopulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 11:17 PM
2

No. You are approaching this as a man. I don’t see that there are multiple types of attraction. At all. Attraction is attraction. Is how much pull you feel towards someone, how much they make your heart flutter, how much you want to have sex with them. Thinking someone is nice or thinking they look like David Beckham or whoever is not attraction. Attraction can be highly influenced by a variety of factors. Whether you look at someone and think “meh” or look at the same person and want to rip his…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:30 PM
1

That’s a wild take.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:51 PM
1

You are using the wrong words. Women want a partner they are attracted to. He may or may not be conventionally good looking and others may not think he’s good looking. Granted he’s probably not outright ugly. There are plenty of attractive guys out there but that doesn’t mean a woman will be attracted to them. I’m just baffled by this conversation. Wanting a partner that you’re attracted to is the requirement and it’s not superficial or shallow. On the reverse side, having sex with someone you’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:20 PM
2

Physical attraction is more than looks. So the ass and titties comparison doesn’t really work. It’s what pulls you to one person and not others even though others may be considered more attractive. Physical attraction is always essential. I’ve never felt a need to specify that I needed attraction because, well, duh? But physical attraction can also arise where it didn’t exist. Guys really think that women don’t care about attraction? If that’s the case, what’s the difference between a friend and…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:07 PM
4

Physical attraction is understood though. You don’t need to say that that physical attraction is important because it’s a given. No need to restate the givens. And physical attraction always refers to the actual feeling of attraction, as in your personal response to the other person and not some “objective” scale rating that a subreddit might assign them. It’s a requirement. That’s the difference between friends and partners. People want things on top of attraction. Those are the things they ver…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 02:59 PM
1

Disagree. Everyone can be sexually compatible with someone they aren’t otherwise compatible with. That’s just life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:51 PM
2

Being kind and good isn’t enough. A woman generally has lots of kind and good people in her life. Her friends are kind and good. A relationship needs to provide more.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:55 AM
5

Considerate and kind isn’t enough. If you’re going to be in a LTR, he has to be interesting, you have to make each other laugh, you have to be sexually compatible. Why is this so hard to understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:53 AM
32

A good sense of humor and great sex are extremely important too. Women want both. Do they ever say they don’t want these things??
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:50 AM
1

My written standards are more exacting than my spoken ones because I have more time to think while writing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 10:05 PM
–

I do see men getting manicures and pedicures nowadays much more so than 10 years ago. Some men are definitely nudging.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:51 PM
11

Book clubs are more fun with more people, and board games too. I’m happy to have friends to do most things with because relationships are so iffy. I’ve had very little turnover in friends, so I have reliable activity partners. I go hiking with the friends who really like hiking. I go ballroom dancing with the friends who really like ballroom dancing. Although I do love to do things with a partner, it works out better to center your activities around your friend network, who you’re hopefully less…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 11:01 PM
2

Meetup has a bunch of men’s groups in my area. You can start one if there isn’t anything in your area.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 03:47 AM
6

They tend to think that women are generally vapid and superficial and only care about looks. While I literally have a compatibility checklist.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:51 AM
5

It’s wholly untrue that most men don’t want us. OLD is full of guys legitimately wanting a relationship. I’ve met my share, had relationships of varying lengths. Most men want a real partner, not casual sex. I would prefer a partner who is my kindred spirit, but in the absence of that, I’ll happily stay single. No one is telling me to go my own way. I’m in no way bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:47 AM
7

This. Different people in my life bring out different parts of my personality. I react to them differently. Any relationship has an interaction effect component.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 02:20 AM
16

My son has played on boys-only sports teams his whole life. Some of the dads play on men-only teams they organize. You are free to organize any men-only group you want. You can meet at a public space, a park, a restaurant, a cafe, someone’s house. What are you even talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:05 PM
8

Haha. Disagree. As if it’s a question of opinion. Go take an experimental design class.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:05 PM
8

What value does that have? That some unknown percentage of people in a non-representative sample tell the truth? Useless.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:31 PM
3

This. Most women can’t have vaginal orgasms. (I’m repeating the above for the people in the back).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:11 AM
11

And you think that this sub will give you a consensus? For real?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:10 AM
10

Reddit questions are not science in any way, shape or form.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:09 AM
2

The overturn is one step. Yes, abortions have increased overall and this is largely due to the increase in medical abortions prescribed via tele health visits with providers in non-ban states. It is far easier now to be prescribed abortion pills remotely. However there HAS been a small increase in birth rates in ban vs. nonban states. Biden’s FDA made abortion pills be available without an in-person visit. Trump’s could very well change that. What happens then? The fight is real and the threat i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 05:45 AM
2

We have no idea how many women who have wanted an abortion weren’t able to get one, and no evidence that it’s “vanishingly small”. And it’s not like red states are all Republicans opposing abortion. There can be any number of millions of people who don’t agree. They just don’t make up the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:13 PM
1

Okay, Mr. Pulling random assessments out of your ass. Whatev.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:09 AM
1

You’re the one with the problem thinking they’re related. I’m good. I’m at a great age and enjoying life and sex, so whatever dude. Hope you’re happy too.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:31 AM
2

It doesn’t necessarily mean they failed by other means. It could mean they prefer a more efficient system. Approaching some random person just because they look good when there’s a 50% chance you’ll hate their politics and an even bigger chance that something will be a dealbreaker has always seemed an insane strategy to me. Bumble is the best, has made screening people so damn efficient, and I just can’t understand the contempt for dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:29 AM
1

No point in engaging here. You just like to insult.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:14 AM
1

If looking at median instead of mean, I’d say yes. But overall if we are just looking at heterosexual, monogamous pairings and hookups, the numbers need to match.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:41 AM
1

You can’t tell anything. I am making reasonable statements here and asking reasonable questions. If you can’t be bothered to engage with the actual content, that’s on you. Whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:39 AM
3

It’s pretty easy as a woman to be single and happy because you’ve cycled through enough relationships that you know what both sides look like. Plus, “single” isn’t some lifetime thing. You have had relationships in the past, you can have other relationships in the future. It’s not like the ship sails and that’s that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:38 PM
18

She’s just answering the question. I see no effort to convince anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:23 PM
10

I’m happy. I have a great job, kids, a cat (of course) interesting hobbies, great friends. I’ve never wanted a “top 1%” as insisted on by incels, nor do I want to be treated like a queen. I particularly love having my own house. Dates and sex are easy to get but I don’t really have much time for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:30 PM
3

She’s the one who has to carry a pregnancy 9 months in her body. That’s the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:43 AM
10

Nope. Reproductive equality is a huge feminist issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 04:12 AM
22

Well abortion is no longer as much of a right as it used to be. Clearly the struggle continues.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:50 AM
1

Ridiculous. It is perfectly plausible that the sex can be great without bigger size because MOST WOMEN DO NOT ORGASM FROM PENETRATION. Secondly, if for whatever reason the sex is not good, it is unlikely that the couple will get married and evolve into a dead bedroom at a later time. More likely they will break up very quickly or the relationship won’t even develop. This is all too preposterous to continue with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:23 PM
1

So dead bedroom is not related to sex drive or orgasm gap or hormones, but penis size?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:28 PM
1

wtf? That’s a new twist. So you’re saying that women in relationships stop having sex because their partner is too small? Really? That’s a new one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:25 PM
1

Majority, probably. Back to the OP, it’s not a decider of “worth”, it’s not the most important thing by far. Back to my original reply, it’s not required for great sex or a happy relationship. So what’s the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:21 PM
1

And we’re back to the beginning where some think so and some don’t and all the billions of women in the world don’t think alike.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:07 PM
2

Maybe. Although I have heard of the reverse. But what’s the point? You think smaller guys don’t have relationships and get married? You think all married guys are bigger? You think a majority of women leave relationships due to dick size? Clearly for some subset of women size doesn’t matter, as they keep claiming. And for the ones who do leave, what’s the issue? Are they supposed to not care if they actually do care? You want them to stay anyway? You want it to be “fair”??
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 06:03 PM
2

You can still want it for PIV but want toys for clitoral stimulation. For orgasm. What’s really going on here? Some women say size doesn’t matter. You don’t believe them. Some say they prefer larger. You get upset. You don’t want to hear suggestions of toys because it hurts your ego. You basically want a smaller dick to be as pleasurable as a larger dick and are big mad that this isn’t the case and are taking this anger out on women. I like toys even with a big partner. I’ve broken up with guys …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:55 PM
2

As long as they aren’t body shamed, it’s not a problem to be left because of it? Because a woman can state her reasons without it being shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:23 PM
2

What do you expect? Dude, lube and foreplay are suggested for lubrication so that the bigger dick can slide in and out without pain. Why tf would this ever be suggested for a smaller penis? What logic is that? Further, the questions about too-big dick center on pain not lack of pleasure. If the guy posted saying, I can’t get my girlfriend to orgasm despite my massive cock, he would be told to increase foreplay, improve his oral skills, and perhaps introduce toys that stimulated her clitorus. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:21 PM
2

Are these two things related?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:15 PM
3

So the insecurities will still be there but the men will be happier? I’ve never met a guy who didn’t know how he compared size wise to other guys, so at some point they’re seeing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 03:22 PM
3

It’s a question because they’re still going to see big dicks in porn and at the urinal next to them. Bigger guys are still going to be proud and showing off. Is “not talking about it” really going to make the insecurity go away?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:36 PM
–

Not all of them want the same thing because some of them complain that sex HURTS. They prefer smaller. There are frequent posts on r/sex from couples who can’t even have sex because it hurts too much. You think these women are happy about the size? So you’re just arguing for the sake of arguing then? There’s no solution to this issue in your mind? What if the term “small dick energy” was removed from the lexicon and women stopped bragging to their friends about their partner’s size? Would smalle…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:18 PM
–

Well you can “see” me saying that but I didn’t say it, so whatever. Insert the constantly used “women are not a monolith” statement here. How do you want women to respond when smaller men post online? There is no reply, apparently, that is acceptable. Say that different women have different preferences. They’re accused of lying. Say that good sex relates much more to skill than size. Get complaints that larger guys are never told to acquire more skill. Say that different vaginas are a better fit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:10 PM
–

Your points aren’t that important, compared to the FACT that women enter relationships and are happy with less-endowed men all the time. If a guy with a bigger dick was online obsessing about his lack of sexual ability and making his partner happy, he’d get the same advice. I do believe that most women prefer larger but not huge. But not all women. That being said, what’s the deal acting like it’s the end all be all? It’s simply one factor in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:56 PM
–

Men who are larger also need to be good in bed because a larger dick probably still won’t give you an orgasm. Try being asexual or gay is ridiculous. Never heard that. Body shaming is a thing but it’s not like everyone does it. Consider the source. You can’t compare being happily married to be the reverse of someone referring to small dick energy. Even if a woman prefers larger, it’s one of many hundreds of factors. Geesh. Get over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:47 PM
2

What actions? They fall in love with, have a great sex life with, and happily marry men who aren’t huge ALL THE TIME.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:15 PM
1

Teddy bear
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 11:06 PM
–

If so all the more reason to just stay single. No point in always wondering if he’s going to “upgrade” you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:02 PM
1

They live by their actions and they don’t do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 05:15 PM
2

Not my experience at all and I don’t know a single guy IRL who talks about “higher quality” women. As for the ones you’re referring to, all the better that he leaves you for someone “better” and hopefully as soon as possible. He has no real feelings toward you, probably is incapable of actual feelings, and the woman is better off without the loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 04:08 PM
3

My bf is pretty big and I love it. But I’m a change for him because most past relationships he’s been in, the women didn’t like how big he is. They took certain positions off the table (no way to doggy, for example) and he had to go very slowly and not all the way in and even then they said it hurt. So yeah, I do believe that most women don’t want a big dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 08:30 PM
1

Yes. I’m just surprised at the focus overall in this post on looking for “more attractive”women as if an attractive woman needs to be improved upon and nothing else matters other than that she’s as high of a level of attractive that can be found and attained.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:27 PM
1

We’re continuing to use terms differently, I think. A good looking guy with a good personality means nothing to me. That’s a friend, maybe. He needs to be interesting to me and I need to feel like we’re kindred spirits to some degree. An ugly guy is a nonstarter. There’s very little change if any attraction arising. A decent looking guy who I find interesting can appeal to me enormously and I become super attracted to him. But thinking that someone is more or lesser attractive is something total…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:13 PM
3

That people might prefer to be coupled is one thing, but if they aren’t there’s a reason why. For lots of women it’s that they’re happier on their own than with any option that has presented itself or don’t even care to look. This is what feminism has brought women. Choice. I know lots of people with careers who are very happy with them. It is definitely sad though that not everyone loves what they do. I am a divorced single mom and am constantly so grateful for where I am in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:01 PM
2

Did you not read about what I said about attraction above? 2nd paragraph? That’s attraction. Being wildly attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:48 PM
2

Looks don’t fade in your 30s. But there is a big difference from just wanting to have fun to actually wanting a life partner. They are two entirely different things and obviously the decisions are based on totally different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:41 PM
7

Lots of single women are out there supporting themselves and owning their own homes and enjoying their lives. Look at all the women who went to college and picked a career that suited them. I don’t think gender norms have ever been a good thing for women. It kept them chained to a man and never allowed them education and rewarding work. We are where we are because women weren’t happy with their role and options in life. It wasn’t the best for the majority. It screwed over half the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:38 PM
7

So values, where you choose to live, how you choose to live, how you raise kids, whether you have even have kids, how you spend money, how you handle conflict, whether she approves of your friends and hobbies, whether she treats you well, whether she’s controlling and high maintenance or totally chill, <continue list here> as long as she’s hotter than crazy, it doesn’t matter? That’s wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:30 PM
1

Meh. Most women I know are looking for a decent looking guy who they really jive with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:19 PM
1

Right. But take some famous actor. Whoever. I can agree that he’s good looking, even very good looking. But it’s like looking at a beautiful woman. I can acknowledge that she’s beautiful, I may even stare because people like to look at attractive things, but that doesn’t mean I have any sexual interest in her. Same as with a random attractive man. No sexual interest, no attraction. There can be a decent-looking guy who totally makes me melt, makes my heart race, rocks my world, makes me always w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:18 PM
2

Attraction is not based on who is the most attractive. It’s your personal reaction to the person, your chemistry with them. Is your level of attraction to someone simply directly proportional to how objectively attractive you consider them? Cause I know guys who are generally considered hot, who I could say, yeah he could be a swimsuit model, and they leave me totally cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:02 PM
2

Do you don’t think about compatibility at all? Not a factor? Just her being very attractive is enough for you to happy in the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:17 PM
6

Just gave them to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:55 AM
11

Let’s imagine that the provider cheats. Are you forced to stay with him, because you can’t get a well-enough paying job to support yourself? Child support doesn’t cover it. Rehabilitative alimony last about 3 years nowadays and doesn’t get you anywhere near you would have been had you always worked. You have no social security built up and that’s never a part of a divorce agreement. You’re screwed. And it sounds like you prefer that women support themselves so that your situation doesn’t happen.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:54 AM
9

Then why don’t you say what exactly you mean? Women don’t have the height to be lawyers? They don’t have the musculature to be architects? They don’t have the testosterone to be accountants? They don’t have the speed to become doctors. What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:45 AM
12

Do you realize that being the “providee” puts you in an absolutely terrible position where you are forced to always have a provider because you don’t have the skills, education and background to be your own provider? That you are stuck? What are your thoughts on this? Deciding to not be your own breadwinner can be a catastrophic financial decision should you ever divorce, and may keep you forced to stay in a bad situation. The breadwinner is always in a position of relative power.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:17 AM
6

Are you saying that women are less intelligent than men and therefore shouldn’t be out there in the workforce? Because although different studies show small differences in either direction, the consensus is that both genders are equally intelligent.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:08 AM
7

When I look around I see much more commonality in choosing careers than difference. Yes, there are more female teachers and social workers. Yes, there are more male mechanics and truck drivers. But what about lawyers, doctors, accountants? I see much more even numbers. My mom was pushed into nursing school but would have liked to have been a doctor. When I was a kid a male nurse was so rare that you actually referred to one as “male nurse”. Now there are loads of female doctors and male nurses a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:01 AM
9

Gender roles have historically been cooperative, to the detriment of women. It should not be incumbent upon women to take up a role they don’t honestly choose just to keep society running the way some group thinks is optimal. And true feminism gives women the right to decide what role they want. However traditional gender roles put women in a very bad place should a marriage not work out. Nearly every woman I know loves her kids more than anything and is a great caregiver, but would go batshit c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:52 AM
1

So feminism should be saying “You don’t need a provider. You can be your own provider. But if you do want a provider, be aware that tall, good looking and ripped is less of a good provider than average height, average looks, and average physique”?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:34 AM
10

Good grief. Is a woman’s level of attractiveness the end-all be-all? A more attractive woman is higher quality? Do you care about anything else? Or it is really just that simple/vapid?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:28 AM
3

Haha. My bad. Their ex had earned a lot of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:11 AM
1

To some degree, yes. But I don’t think it’s relevant to this discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:32 AM
1

Personally I think that article is awful and the logic is pitiful and embarassing. Yes, there does seem to be disagreement on this topic and I really don’t understand why.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:14 AM
2

To what end? This is a discussion about being a provider/protector. Is your actual point that women can’t be providers due to some fundamental difference? Otherwise why do you keep elaborating this point?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 09:53 PM
2

I’m not following this. So feminism seeks to do away with the male protector/provider model, but you think it should be redefining the model to a different type of man? I don’t see that feminism encourages women to find tall, jacked men. My understanding is that with women having the option to be their own providers, what constitutes a male provider is less important. And such women have more freedom to pursue what they personally find appealing as a partner. However attainment, as defined by jo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:50 PM
2

What would the modernized choices be?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:56 PM
1

Whatever. Lots of people, male or female, don’t have access to the right resources. I never said “everyone”. But I am not the only woman to have access to them. You keep talking about pregnancy and childbirth as if we are living hundreds of years ago where women were in a constant state of pregnancy, had no time to physically recover, had no modern medical care or modern amenities to make life easier, and were always watching many children. Peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:53 PM
3

Even if a girl prefers dolls and a boy prefers trucks, what on earth does that have to do with anything? Go around an office and ask the women if they prefer dolls or trucks? What on earth relevance does it have? I prefer dolls. Am I less good at my job that has absolutely nothing to do with trucks? It’s not just me. I work with lots of extremely competent women who earn good money. You think I’m the only one?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 07:48 PM
1

Most women work throughout their pregnancies and offices generally have places to pump. Women are not incapacitated by having had a child or children. I worked until the day I gave birth. Women who are highly professional tend not to stay at home any large length of time. There are roughly 40 working years in a lifetime. Being pregnant and giving birth doesn’t prevent you from having the job you want. There is a real “women are weak”, “women are victims”, “women are discriminated against to the …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:58 PM
4

Reality and science tell me that just because I have a uterus doesn’t mean I can’t have a good job and support a family. Having a uterus and having birthed kids has not turned my brain to mush. In the working age span of 21ish to 65ish you think women are just sitting around pregnant or lactating? Having had kids has only affected me in the sense that I had an employment gap, but I am at the same level and pay as men at my level. Mercifully my employers have not held my having a uterus against m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:50 PM
3

Same for men when more men apply to the same programs. It’s a simple question of supply and demand. As a college graduate in a good career I earn much more than so many men out there. There are too many jobs that don’t pay enough to either gender to support a family. I don’t see any evidence that most women are unable to but most men are.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:17 PM
3

They could but I don’t see it play out like that. Do you? Plus, college graduates are more women than men. I’m in the US and acknowledge it is of course not the same everywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:29 PM
6

That’s great. Drama and danger are best avoided. I could not be friends with a woman who wanted a partner to intervene unnecessarily.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:25 PM
4

Well crap, if those are the women then it’s better to be single. I would never want my partner, or anyone, to risk their well-being unnecessarily by escalating something that doesn’t have to be escalated.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:19 PM
8

In what way are most women not able to be the breadwinner? There are men out there who can’t be the breadwinner either. Nothing is ever 100%. Everyone needs to find a partner with whom they can come to a happy agreement about working vs childcare.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:16 PM
4

Not relevant. Make your own post if you want to discuss that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:13 PM
5

And again, we aren’t talking about who women are attracted to in this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:06 PM
16

Everyone does better when the household earns more money. Of course. I’ve dated a few guys who were SAHP, with the wife earning really good money. Despite pregnancy and childbirth it’s entirely possible for women to be the breadwinner if that’s what the couple chooses. Companies are increasing accommodating of lactating mothers in the office.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:05 PM
3

This is not what this post is about. At all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:59 PM
6

I don’t relate to this. I would expect my partner to intervene if someone was physically assaulting me, but I would also intervene if someone were physically assaulting him, or someone I was with was being assaulted. As for the rest I think it’s better to just remove yourself from the situation because no good can come from engaging with aggressive and nasty people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:58 PM
7

Defend her how? Is someone physically assaulting her right in front of him?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:53 PM
13

Well as a feminist I support you discussing and complaining about how traditional gender norms negatively affect you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:36 PM
44

Feminism does not expect men to be breadwinners and protectors. It hurts men to be strong armed into this position that denies them choice. That many people may still have outdated gender ideals is not feminism’s fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:24 PM
9

It’s not a question of “better than”. I am a unique person and insist on being with someone who appreciates me and syncs with me. If this guy is going after another woman because she’s prettier, fitter, whatever criteria you’re using, then he’s not for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:22 PM
1

That’s pretty extreme. The point of these apps is to find someone you want to date. And for that to happen you really need to communicate what you’re looking for. What’s allowable? Not height or weight. What about education level, income, physique? Religion and politics? Just hobbies and interests? It’s one thing to be totally rude and say something like no land whales or no manlets, but if you’re just using neutral language, others need much better coping skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:09 PM
1

Right. But if she doesn’t get matches then perhaps she’ll consider why not and revise.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:02 PM
3

Right. That’s your call. You can reveal on your timeline. People who post laundry lists of disqualifiers choose to do that. No one is forcing their hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:01 PM
6

It’s useful to all women because they know to avoid him. He’s told you exactly who he is. It’s a gift. People out themselves without realizing it. Should we protect them from others seeing so clearly that they’re a jerk? Knowing who to avoid is very useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:03 PM
2

It’s not unkind. It’s just direct. And if people have a dating profile that is shallow maybe that’s an indication that they simply are shallow and you can move on. No? You want people to hide that they’re shallow? You want the woman to tell you off in the coffee shop for not having been upfront? You want her to sit through a date and then ghost you? Swiping left on you is the absolute kindest action she can take. There is literally nothing less offensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:01 PM
6

That’s perfect though. You see that he’s difficult and focuses on the negative and you can just move on. His approach gives you extremely useful information about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:57 PM
1

That’s his call. Maybe he doesn’t want women who are easily offended. People get to put what they want and sometimes the fact that they don’t fill out certain questions gives you enough information. There’s no need to police anyone else’s approach. You do you. And you don’t have to provide a reason to swipe left and move on. You just do. So it’s not like anyone’s getting told explicitly/bluntly that they’re too fat/short/ugly/whatever. I wouldn’t swipe right on any guy that said “no fat chicks” …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:54 PM
1

It’s not blunt. They don’t match with you with the aim of telling you that you don’t fit their standards. They just swipe left and move on. You would prefer that they meet you and reject you in person?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:48 PM
8

If that’s their legit preference, then absolutely yes!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:43 PM
3

I want as many descriptors as possible. You need to be able to filter profiles efficiently, and I don’t want to meet up with anyone right away anyway. I think Bumble is the best with this, but I have a bunch of questions I’d add. Like ENM or not, and if you have kids, are they young or in college or what. If I don’t meet someone’s hard or soft requirements, I just move on. It’s silly to let some rando upset you by wanting something different than you. That’s life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:43 PM
3

My bad. Then no amount because aside from some traveling, there’s not much I really want. And I was born middle class into a pretty frugal family, and spending large amounts of money makes me uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:51 PM
2

I’m single with kids and would do it for a billion dollars. I would use the money to promote equality in the world. I don’t need or want much more than I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:29 PM
2

Yes, of course. But that can arise over time. It will not be there to start and I may not even think he’s that good looking to begin with. But I usually end up wildly attracted to the guys I date. I don’t think I could be with someone if I didn’t feel the urge to be touching them constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:53 PM
2

What does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:46 PM
2

For some length of time, yes. Ultimately something kills the relationship. But without the compatibility it’s a total nonstarter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:14 PM
3

Money no. And I wouldn’t date him if I wasn’t attracted to him, but if I saw him outside of a dating situation I could end up attracted to him as I got to know him better. This has happened to me many times. But I’m also someone who is never initially attracted to anyone, even if I would describe them as attractive to others. That said, I’ve fallen for guys who I originally specifically said were not physically attractive. It’s not because of a great personality, more like we really have a lot i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:51 AM
1

Go get some friends, dude. Geesh.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 06:23 AM
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