TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

PMmeareasontolive Archive

View 4 posts and 4,648 comments by PMmeareasontolive on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 4,648 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Aw, dude, it's all over the sex and dating related subs and the "ask men" type subs. There's always tons of guys who give that response.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 02:59 AM
3

Couldn't agree more. People need a scapegoat.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 01:31 AM
1

Male libido can be overwhelming at times but not all the time. Then there are people who are more towards the asexual side of the spectrum. Speaking for myself, there have been times when I wanted just one thing about 95%. But that isn't a constant. Men also fall in love, like having relationships, even platonic friendships sometimes, with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 01:16 AM
8

It's more of general dehumanizing and scapegoating to my mind (not always on the part of women), beginning in early childhood, with zero concern for the subtle effects of same.
/r/MensRights25/11/24 09:21 PM
–

They rub their semen into their hair to give off male pheromones. True secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 06:21 PM
–

lol, you're right about the 'competency level' having to be acceptable. I haven't lived with a romantic partner but I've had tons of roommates in the past, and the diplomacy of keeping house is very much a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 05:12 PM
3

Yeah, I respect hunters, mostly. And when you get out in the country, sustenance hunting makes sense. However, me living in cities most of my adult life, there's no reason for me not to be vegetarian. I was for many years, but am not currently. As far as your claim that certain men enjoy killing for killing's sake, why do you think that is?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 05:09 PM
–

That's pretty brilliant actually. A lot of the "weaponized incompetence" women complain about is the failure of men to do the thing when and exactly how women think it should be done. Giving him a bit of agency about it might help him feel more ownership of it and put her more at ease.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 05:01 PM
2

That isn't "just boyish", that's fucking profoundly immature and if anything were "toxic masculinity" (a phrase I detest but don't have a replacement for) that would qualify.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 04:58 PM
4

What does it actually feel like for a man to kill a spider? Sad. Killing any critter does nothing for men (I try to take spiders outside). Excepting hunting I guess but I've never been a hunter so I don't know what that's like. And there are plenty of women who hunt and fish too (tho you might have to get out of urban areas to find them).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 04:52 PM
1

Positive feedback in general. Doesn't have to be about man stuff. The crisis men have is "should I exist?" not just "am I a man?" The bedroom can be a microcosm of the relationship outside of the bedroom, so do the same there; reward the behavior you want to see more of with positive reinforcement. Be patient. Sometimes it takes people time to get used to a new idea. There are things that women have wanted to do in the past where I've been reluctant at first, but over time got the hang of it, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 04:35 PM
1

This is well written, but no; people absolutely believe the propaganda that they consume, even if it just shades their belief a few degrees in whichever direction. Traditionally the role of critics was to point out the hypocrisies of art (and therefor life), but now online critics have stepped into that role with meme wars/critiques. The point is though, people's ridiculous claims aren't harmless, and it's exhausting to perpetually be arguing against what is often basically a barrage of sensatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 07:27 PM
1

Would a blow up doll with an AI app do? I jest, but my point is, men’s “social oppression” isn’t limited to the idea that his main social and sexual outlet is supposed to be one woman. It extends to how we define men. We define men in very crude and limited ways. Whereas by contrast we define women as super-social angelic butterlies, we define men as perpetual caterpillars, unless they are hyper masculine (like to the point where the female equivalent would be “bimbo” fetishization), or very wea…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 06:29 PM
–

It's kind of always been that way. the 1st cocktail party question is "what do you do?" and if you are a guy, if it isn't something w/ some status you are dismissed as "low value". Your job and possessions, like what car you drive, etc, are things you are measured by if you're a guy. You could probably take two people doing the same manual labor job and the woman would be judged as 'hard working' and the guy would be judged as 'no ambition'.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 09:13 PM
22

Men do their part to perpetuate that though. Many male focused subs have guys who upvote all the standard sexist male stereotypes ("men always want sex or else he's defective in some way!", "all pizza and all sex are good!" Men can't be friends w/ women" "I'm horny all the time like a REAL MAN should be!" etc). Maybe they upvote them particularly when other men post them, but that doesn't make it any less hack.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 06:24 PM
–

Gotta admit you have a point there. Media (including social) has become more and more sensationalized until it's a ridiculous parody of itself but no one notices what a distorted picture it presents. But what is human nature really like, apart from the various sorts of propaganda we consume every waking hour?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:47 PM
9

I'm not sure if these are similar problems. I only read one link, but it seemed to be guys complaining about the quality of dates and relationships, not the quantity of them. That seems more in line with women's complaints about dating than men's. One popular reply was a long write up by someone whose secret was they "took the initiative" to ask the guy on a date. Again not really translatable since every straight guy knows you have to take the initiative; nothing happens by inhaling romantic pi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 05:39 PM
9

I like your analogy of it being like "masculine make up". Personally though, I don't think all of it is faked. Being stoic eventually comes to be part of who you are, for example. It's like learning to meditate; at first you might not be so good at it but you get the hang of it (at least somewhat) eventually. I'd wager most masculine guys were sweet innocent little kids once then learned that behavior was expected, or served them better, and adopted it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 04:42 AM
1

Men cater a little in that they have to make the 1st move, (+conform in other ways to masculine stereotypes), initiate, and generally be the more entertaining partner, since they have to compete w/ other men. 2&3. My theory; women are told they need to be mothers to be "real" (not a loser). That stricture has been loosening.. Men are told they need to be chosen by women to be "real" (not a social reject). that measuring stick hasn't changed at all. there might be a biological basis, which is int…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 01:24 AM
2

Eh, I think women lose steam as well though. From the male perspective, you need a lot of positive affirmation to keep the engine running. Most women don't realize this. They think men are just naturally confident and don't need positive feedback. And it fades naturally over time. Probably something similar happens from the woman's perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 07:28 PM
1

If you're dating a man 25 and under, there's probably like a 50% chance you get one of those three dudes in some capacity. lol, I could see that for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 07:19 PM
1

Why do women get with what is obviously an adult baby? These men in this part of the thread sound like they have every red flag short of wearing literal diapers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 06:10 PM
1

The romantic ideals that we grow up with are rarely realistic. There might be a few people whose personalities are absolutely right for lifelong monogamy, but it's too tough an assignment for most. I don't think that's bad. Romantic love is based in mythology and folklore quite a bit, but love between family and friends is more enduring, and a lover can be a friend or like a de facto family member.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 06:04 PM
3

That's a good explanation. I think you also have to be able to give each other space. (I maybe should say that I'm an introvert so I don't want people in my space 24/7 - - - the situation could be different for a couple who are extroverts). There could be some exceptions if you are somehow really exceptionally compatible with someone, but mostly, even with good friends you don't want to hang out with them constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 05:57 PM
–

Agree, well put. "Average" is a huge, super scrappy grab bag of qualities, good and bad, and possible behaviors. Someone here said it's a matter of "are our neuroses compatible" and that becomes increasingly rarer as you get away from the few lucky folks who had a very healthy upbringing and are relatively well adapted. It gets increasingly like trying to put together a jig saw puzzle with a few pieces missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:37 AM
3

I'm also skeptical when people quote that Dataclasm (~!) book like it's the gospel. It's about a dating app, written by a dude who runs the dating app. "What level of transparency can we reasonably expect?" should be an important question when any source is cited. How often is 100% transparency going to be the answer?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 11:06 PM
11

I'm pretty gullible and even I'm not believing 57% of men report dating apps as positive unless the data supporting that claim has been massaged somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:50 PM
11

Awww, "people who do research have no personal or professional bias! That's just not possible! There's no way a study could ever be flawed, faked, biased, poorly designed or designed to get a desired result, in any way! All studies presented here are meticulously peer reviewed!" "Also, Santa Claus is real!"
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:47 PM
20

How did they have to bend reality to get a 57% positive response?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:00 PM
3

I sorta disagree with the easy categorization of "the olden days" being "men had the upper hand" and "women needed men" but not vise versa. If people wanted to have a family they had to work together back in the day. They may have had their traditional spheres but both needed the other. I also add another layer of men being generally isolated socially, as women were isolated economically, which was to ensure they'd be invested in getting a wife and starting a family.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 04:37 PM
4

I'm not so sure. There are plenty of women who still will deny that themselves. There is a common belief that "men are more visual" and that women are more attracted to character, are more demi-sexual, more sapiosexual, etc. This is routinely promoted by both men and women to the point of stereotyping.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 05:56 PM
3

Sometimes people generalize too much from their personal observations. But you can still conclude a fair amount just from observing what people actually do; peers in school, friend groups, as roommates, etc. These aren't minuscule sample sizes. And online behavior counts as observable behavior, too. So it's not all theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 05:04 PM
5

It's repeated here often that women value being alone over being in a bad relationship but (some) men invert that; they'd rather be in a bad relationship (or so they think) than be alone. That's weird and sad, and I think mostly in those men's imaginations. In order for men to get to that level of independence that women are at, they do have to find more social outlets. Or so it would seem-- Maybe there's some men who will comment "I have a full social life and family life but being single makes…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 10:31 PM
6

While true, OP's suggestion would avert the "loneliness crisis" that men seem to be having. There is a long tradition of men finding meaning primarily in their romantic relationship to the exclusion of all other types of relationships. It's definitely been an imbalance towards the romantic relationship establishing the value of a man. Perhaps at the expense of those other types of relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 10:20 PM
0

Brougham, I appreciate the response, but I don't think you and I will ever be able to communicate with one another in any meaningful way.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 07:56 PM
0

My response is to your statement "maybe women shouldn't date if it is so damaging to them".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 07:39 PM
1

People will believe anything that's hyped up enough. This is what all those threads about "why should anyone settle?" aren't recognizing. You're attraction to the Kardashians (or whatever the current attractive celebs are), for example, isn't entirely natural. You've been trained to like that assembly-line, over-processed look.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 07:26 PM
0

All of the repression of women in the past was for that reason. If you didn't keep them down on the farm they'd run away with the circus and who knows where they'd end up. Is it because all men are garbage? Be honest. Is it because romantic expectations are too unrealistic? Is it because romantic ideals of masculinity are in reality a caricature of a very sick person, but for some reason we still insist that men conform to them?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 07:21 PM
23

You seem to be unaware that women have a sex drive also.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 11:15 PM
6

There's more to it. Women these days blow sunshine up each other's skirts more than ever. The "women are angels" bias has never been stronger, and will continue to ripple outward as women gain more power (even if it's just in academic circles primarily at first - that's a great place to start). So even if there were no simps that message that "you must live your dream because anything less if failure" will continue. Also, all this is also symptomatic of extreme individualism, where the message i…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 05:15 AM
15

Not so sure about that. I think there are enough desirable men - maybe not "Chads" exactly, but Chad-adjacent, lets say, that date around more than the average bear. So women can legitimately just hold out for one of them, be patient, and not have to settle. This dynamic exists regardless of the thirst of all the other men whom she won't date.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 04:04 AM
6

I don't think that's true. The left can acknowledge a subtle (or not so subtle) bias against men exists, and that men are often lazily scapegoated for things, but the point wouldn't be to dwell there, the point would be to emphasize inclusion w/o separation. The human temptation is always to project the negative outward, so an enemy has to be found to project that negativity towards. And, it feels so good to blame others and by so doing simultaneously absolve and raise oneself up by contrast. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 04:37 PM
3

I agree that men are often more flexible on these matters. For example, I'm not too cheesed over who someone voted for, though I would assume we wouldn't have much in common, it wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker in and of itself. But kicking puppies, come on now! There's no way you'd witness something like that and then think "ah wth, she's cute"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 07:25 PM
4

Dude, not all men are as desperate as you. Please don't stereotype men as all being mega simps for a whiff of jiff.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 07:11 PM
6

That's the conundrum about cold approaching in any capacity. You think the person looks like a nice and interesting person as well (and there are attractive people who don't look like nice people or seem unfriendly, etc), but you don't really know anything about them: it's your hormones that are driving you to make an introduction. Basically, it always amounts to; "I think you're pretty and I'd like to get to know you".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 07:08 PM
1

Is this an issue for guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 05:27 AM
10

I think it's more than just dating. Guys fail to find any kind of social outlet, whereas women tend to be better at creating their own. If you look on the bulletin board at your local coffee joint you'll probably see tons of women's groups for books, spirituality, hiking, whatever, and, I'd wager, much fewer men's groups doing anything. There are some mixed gender events, like trivia nights, etc, but even then I wonder about how welcoming they are to single middle aged men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:54 PM
6

Something like lack of purpose. Yeah, it sounds weird when you put it that way, but it's just that guys need to feel part of something, even if it's just the bowling league or whatever. Women need that too, but seem to find some kind of social validation more easily. Or are tons of women content with being completely alone in life?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:51 PM
1

Cater, maybe not, but women should recognize that they have a PR problem developing in how they are perceived, and it's only getting worse. Women are slowly being regarded as incapable of being impartial when it comes to men. This is a huge hurdle to get over to gain trust as a prospective candidate. Libs should study Obama. He got elected twice. What was his secret? He knew how to be inclusive without being divisive. That should be rudimentary level public relations strategy but for some reason…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 04:36 PM
2

You can say "love is transactional" like it's a bad thing, but it's the only thing that makes sense. Why love someone if they don't bring value to your life? Are you going to love someone who brings negative value? --- "they are a major asshole all the time, but I love them!" ---- that doesn't make sense if you have a choice in the matter. But I also present gratitude as an exhibit that love exists. Often we are grateful for someone who can do us no more favors other than being in our lives. Now…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 04:13 PM
–

Respectable take from someone who flairs themselves "redpill fuckboy".
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 06:04 PM
–

Btw it doesn’t matter if you’re dumped or doing the dumping. Interesting take. Most people would consider being dumped tougher.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 05:22 PM
2

Look at you going against the flow. How do you avoid judging all men by the behavior evidenced in the worst incel rhetoric?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 06:14 PM
3

I'm starting to think TRP is just feminism for dudes. It sorta has that potential when it tells guys to do things for themselves and be less dependent on women for their well-being. But then it snaps back and you can't help but sense that RP is actually desperate to be wanted and chosen by women, and continues to use success with women as the yardstick for a man's value, and main source of happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 06:12 PM
2

Women think they way you do w/o any exposure to RP. It's not that uncommon, except in blue pill fairyland where there are no problems whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 06:05 PM
-1

wtf is this dems = "endless war" nonsense? What "endless war" can you point to that doesn't have roots in the Bush admin?
/r/MensRights05/11/24 05:53 PM
2

Everything is related, but I think you are scapegoating feminism too much. Much more at play are critical attitudes and messages towards men that lead to a lack of self worth. I mean, just for one thing, look at the way women are constantly blowing sunshine up each other's skirts,, and constantly trying to promote women as complete, the prize, able to do or choose anything, etc. Nothing comparable on the male side of the equation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 07:43 PM
1

I agree. Men idealize love and relationships and sex. (Not necessarily in that order.) Sometimes for good reason: those experiences can feel significant to an otherwise empty life. It is a problem that men are conditioned to pursue those things as their sole source of meaning, companionship, and relationship that includes some degree of intimacy. It makes them very dependent on women, and there are structures in society that are geared towards keeping them that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 05:50 PM
2

If you agree w/ a "debate" flared post , your comment has to be under automod, or it will be deleted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 05:45 PM
5

Or, as we like to say, an equal partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 05:42 PM
8

I don't get the logic of OP's claim that men can fail constantly but still win yet women can't?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 05:40 PM
1

This whole post just unwittingly justifies women using men for a few years then dumping them once the man's economic usefulness is no longer needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 05:37 PM
3

I agree there's some biological basis to the way things are, but that should not be regarded as destiny because that view lapses quickly into a just world fallacy. Feminism has already demonstrated that massive cultural changes are possible in terms of how gender roles are defined and experienced. It did that not by viewing biology as destiny, but by viewing each individual as having value and proposing that each should be able to choose how to live their own life rather than have values imposed…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 04:29 PM
2

Value friendship more, with men and women. But probably more with men, since women don't even like to smile at men they don't know, and as women like to say, "your feefees aren't my responsibility". So it's incumbent on guys to raise the standard on how they treat each other (as well as how they treat women).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 11:38 PM
–

You're vastly overplaying the importance of height (5'10" is fine), status, and money. Yes, those things are pluses. But your not out of the game w/o them at your age. At least when you are younger, some of the Blue Pill adages are true to some extent; while it's true guys with advantages you mention will do way better, the average guy can still meet an average girl and date at least occasionally (note: that's dating, not casual boning, if that's what you are aspiring to). That's because school …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 11:28 PM
2

Hey what happened to the radfem comment saying women and men were both poorly socialized? 1st time I'd ever heard a woman say that and it's deleted a couple of minutes later.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 05:19 PM
1

When men do it its often due to loose morals but when women become single mothers its often a heroic thing IMO. I agree with your post which is supposed to be ironic: Single parenthood should not be encouraged for men or women. The difference is that women are getting the message that it's fine to be single mother, they don't need a co-parent. And many women act on it, seeing single parenthood as a viable choice, because they want a baby, not a husband. They are told, like you are saying, they a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 03:45 PM
1

I agree with you somewhat, however I temper the message a bit in the following way; romance is basically dead. But it was never really real in the first place. After the honeymoon period, infatuation used to be replaced by determination. Now relationships are more transactional. That doesn't mean they can't be beneficial for both men and women. But don't be blindsided when she gets bored and moves on. Or if the vast vast majority of women aren't interested unless you can immediately enrich their…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:33 AM
0

I think this is part of the mythology of masculinity that women buy into a lot. When you hear women say they don't approach because they want to be sure the guy is INTO them, not just accepting an approach from anyone, there's probably shades of this dynamic. Either women are less demi-sexual than they think they are or men are more demi-sexual than women think they (men) are. maybe women think they can judge a man's character by looking at their face or the way they dress, more often than they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 04:40 AM
2

I've been interested in trying to provide self-analysis tools to spare those who will never be able to make it romantically at least part of the pain chasing the unobtainable. What would those be?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 05:07 PM
6

I don't think it's lower testosterone. It may lower some in your late 20s but not drastically. 2. It's fascinating, if true, that your local cohort is not interested in dating or sex. Where in the world are you? Weren't you raised w/ the idea that having a family is the goal of your existence? If, as a group, you've gotten a different message, something like "it's not a big deal to be in a relationship, there are ups and downs", or, "you don't need to be with a woman to be happy", then that is s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 04:53 PM
2

So that's what every woman does? whenever they are attracted to a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:52 PM
1

I exaggerate a little, but the point remains.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:51 PM
2

I mean, I guess? Most of those stats are just a result of being in the same place at the same time, for long enough to get to know one another, which would not have happened otherwise, regardless of career aspirations. People need ways to meet and get to know other people and work is one of the few environments where that happens (where they are compelled to do it even).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:49 PM
4

This is how I feel about cold approaches. It would be nice to know something about that person, but my main motivation is that they look cool (or attractive, which is kinda a dubious motivation), and is that enough to go up yippity yapping at someone for their attention, given that they experience that negatively often?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:36 PM
1

I'm starting to agree. The rest are all excuses to cover up the fear of rejection, which really is social awkwardness. For some reason we stereotype women as having these amazing social skills* which they - clearly -- do not have (replies in this sub being exhibit A), but even women insist that women as a group have these innately somehow. * - women do have better social skills when interacting w/ other women but when interacting with men their social skills are as bad, and possibly even worse, …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:33 PM
3

women don't have to do all that shit. women can literally post a blurry face pic on OLD and go on limitless dates, practically for life, while a guy has to hire a PR firm/photographer to get his suite of photos right.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:28 PM
13

This is the only right answer Claiming there's only one right answer is why this sub will never really get anything close to being right. If women aren't approaching you it's only because you're not attractive, or rich enough, that's it If you're extremely attractive, sure. Like an outlier. But you're trying to make that outlier experience the norm. What's my evidence? The fact that tons of women say they don't approach, even when they are curious about a guy. Or they say "I did ONCE AND HOO BOY…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:19 PM
3

I think it's also a stale stereotype that guys want sex under any circumstances. In reality, attraction and affection are somewhat fragile, for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 04:58 PM
1

Relationship. And it's not even really close, although the anticipation phase before casual can be nice. Often that's the best part.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:42 AM
2

I'm more amazed that they want to keep having sex with someone they are no longer into. Is that real life or lame male fantasy? "yeah, my girlfriend cheated on me, so I'm going to keep having sex w/ her until I find a replacement". Sure, pal. Neither realistic nor a worthwhile goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 09:36 AM
3

Having basic communication skills isn't "being aggressive". Similarly, having good social skills doesn't mean having sex when other people think you should have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 05:29 PM
38

You can have sympathy for the dude for relationship ending and also not blame the woman. These aren't completely polarized things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 11:34 PM
1

Improvising; I think a key part of men's social experience comes via sexual relationships. If that's delayed, it may delay his ability to put sex into larger perspective. This may not apply if the man has tons of friends or family support. But for a lot of guys, relationships (NOT JUST SEX) have to be experienced in order to learn how to be a good partner. I don't think this needs to happen in the late teens. It can as easily happen in your late 20s. But again, that self knowledge about how to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 09:45 PM
11

I'm pointing out that men benefit immensely from having a woman in their house This is by no means a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 07:29 PM
1

Moderation in all things. Including promiscuity & monogamy. I'm skeptical about two things; the idea of there being "the one" who is a perfect match for you*, and constant casual sex (maybe the novelty would be enough to keep it interesting, but I doubt it). It's one of the personality conflicts of humanity: monogamy is good for pair bonding but there's also a craving for variety after a while. Whether you are a man or woman. I'd try to find some balance between these. * - If you truly were univ…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 07:25 PM
22

Asking "What do you do?" and surmising from there is the normal way to ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 11:01 PM
7

What are you people huffing to actually take this seriously as an issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 01:10 AM
2

No because I am very confident in my ability to get to know that person on my own without having to get my opinions from someone else, especially not someone else I don't know. I'm also confident in my ability to discern whether I like the person and the experiences I'm having with them. What I've italicized above is an area where women are under-socialized and their social skills are typically lacking to their own detriment. Also, I'm assuming if she's talking to me she's talking to ~95 other m…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 06:00 PM
2

Not just FOMO, also being ridiculed and rejected. 40% didn't reproduce prior, as you point out, but there weren't terms like incel and whatnot, plus the constant polarization of any issue to get clicks, likes, etc, online.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:11 AM
1

There is something wrong though. Look at how fashion has (some) women getting plastic surgeries of one kind or another, injecting toxins into their faces, etc. That's just one example. Nobody should be encouraging billy to keep waiting for his manic pixie dream whatever. Women's and men's choices should both face scrutiny and critique. Unrealistic beauty standards are standard part of the propaganda of capitalism now, and it bleeds over into our personal lives. No one is immune to propaganda. Sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 12:04 AM
1

I think it's often more clear to men than it is to women. That's why women need to share info, like red flags such as "how does he treat waitstaff?" and so on. Probably chalk it up to how we are socialized differently. On the flip side, perhaps men are poor judges of female character.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 10:03 PM
2

One question is, does it scale down? You're using extreme examples, but does the same thing happen on a smaller scale, ie, women being attracted to florid narcissism in men at the corner bar, at the office, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 04:39 PM
7

I'm not sure that analogy works
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 04:19 PM
1

Because the question is, "is this worthwhile?" Meaning, is it going to add to your life in a positive way. Is it something you are going to have gratitude for.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 05:11 AM
2

You have to compromise in some areas. Unless you consistently attract the top person you could imagine. But most of us are going to be settling in some areas. The question becomes, is the experience as a whole worthwhile. The answer to that should always be yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 05:01 AM
–

It's high irony that you can't conceive that what you just did is exactly what you accuse others of.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 04:31 PM
–

Sure, people who have zero experience with any problem are likely to be unable to empathize. Take insomnia for example; people who never experience it typically don't understand why insomniacs don't "just go to sleep", etc. People who experience the world typically in one way can't conceive of it being different for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 10:19 PM
3

Men like access to sex, even from women they don’t like very much. I don't find this to be true about relationships. True that a guy can probably have sex with someone they aren't that super into for novelty's sake, or to break a long dry spell. But when a couple gets bored of each other, or actively dislikes each other, the much more common scenario is that sex isn't happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 05:24 PM
1

I have never seen anyone who isn't cringy over text.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 03:54 PM
2

They're in the house.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 04:15 AM
4

I agree. Just sayin' that is the counter argument you will get. In fact, I think the woman's initial interest is much more important. As much as women say they are demi sexual (or the other one that has to do with being into intelligence), it's hard for me to believe that women's interest really can eventually scale the heights of passion if there's no initial attraction. Whereas for men there always seems to be some baseline acceptability for attraction to grow on, for women it seems much more …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 05:53 PM
1

It means you have taken a somewhat reasonable idea to absurd conclusions. Not that that's always bad, after all; you say your approach to life works for you, right? So carry on my wayward son.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 05:43 PM
3

Yeah, it's a bizarre narcissistic blue pill fantasy that ugly couples are all around them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 04:36 PM
5

Women counter this by saying men are always open to sex/relationships, so a guy will accept an overture from a woman even if the guy isn't super interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 04:33 PM
1

You've taken a reasonable hypothesis and made it your religion.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 04:30 PM
10

Being nice sounds nice. as an ideal, compared to the competitive macho culture I grew up with. It would be nice to be able to let your guard down w/ other men, never mind trying to get on with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 04:16 PM
-1

Lord, help these people. Empathy is good for everyone. Here's how it can help women; realizing the average dude isn't living the life of Chad will help her understand why he isn't "doing whatever he wants whenever he wants" like women seem to think all men do, and why it *may* behoove her to take some initiative once in a while, or, heaven forbid, learn to communicate what she wants and how she feels. Also, and this is a big one, many women are in positions of authority over children. Having wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 05:09 PM
10

Just for one thing; have you not observed the number of incompetent parents there are in the world? I could accuse you of heinous things in regard to this spectacular lack of awareness of the suffering of others, particularly children. Your ignorance borders on sadism.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 01:04 AM
6

Not having kids is the greatest thing you can do for the future, by giving people in the future a fighting chance to clean up this cesspool. Just because you don't have kids yourself doesn't mean you don't care about other people's kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 12:33 AM
–

I do think you have a good point that guys should be more supportive of one another, and one reason why they don't is possibly competitiveness. I think it's much more just gender stereotyping though; guys shouldn't need emotional support or they are seen as weak and unmanly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:46 PM
–

Blue Pillers, being willfully dense as a rhetorical tactic feels like a "win" to you, but it doesn't convince anyone who doesn't believe your luke warm 50's era cliches already. Your first point doesn't happen. Women are not "free" to do it because that goes against gender stereotype for individual men and women and for how men and women are expected to interact. The cultural shift would be away from stereotypical expectations of gender roles. Those who argue against this perhaps have some veste…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 04:44 PM
–

Maybe the door to door thing has potential, but there's probably a ton of women who were interested in a guy but never made any real indication of interest that the average guy can pick up on because they had no idea how to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 04:23 PM
–

Make nerds sexy again.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 04:20 PM
–

Well, refraining from the "implies or says [men] are inferior" would be part of just being a decent human being. But beyond that, male stereotypes can be attractive but they can also not be good indicators of whether a person is a decent person or not. Or - maybe a woman is just curious about some shy guy. Social skills, a lot like the telephone, work both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 04:19 PM
–

True but part of the hyping up often involves putting men down. If she had relationship problems, - it was probably his fault. Collectively, - men are barely worth dating, and that only if you find one of the ultra-rare good ones. Women - are happier alone than "being in a bad relationship", which I'm beginning to interpret as, rather than teaching women how to take control of their dating lives and be comfortable, not just enforcing boundaries, but actually learning how to communicate with men …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 04:15 PM
6

I can't tell if they were being sarcastic.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 04:07 PM
10

Your flair seems a little like a false flag
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 03:44 PM
2

Earlier in the summer I was getting of the bus at my street. It was dark, around 9:30pm. A woman had got off in front of me and was walking down the same street. It's not rural here, sorta low income suburbs. I gave her like a 15 foot buffer. She took out a buck knife and held it out to her side, just to let me know she had a blade. Should I have asked for her digits?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:33 PM
24

I define Chad as a guy who is successful w/ women w/ minimal effort. The "Chads" I've known have been attractive to some degree, but also charismatic to some degree, usually. There is perhaps a ratio of looks/personality ; the more you have of one the less you need of the other. You could mix in status/popularity as an attractive element (one of the guys I knew was a musician, another was an actor). I'm not even sure if they are really charismatic so much as their extroversion and confidence are…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:17 PM
1

It's always been both. Women can exploit men based on men's interest. That can begin with paying for the first date. And it can go for as long as she can milk him for $ or work. That can happen. On the other hand , it can also be whiny men who find the offer of genuine friendship, without material exploitation, with a woman to be onerous in some way. I've seen it used that way in this sub and elsewhere and it is pathetisad, and those guys need to take responsibility for their own decisions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 04:09 PM
1

The canard here is that men are any less socially skilled than women when it comes to dating scenarios. We've all seen the posts from men and women trying to mind-read their partners, "what does it mean if he/she doesn't text right away?" etc. Women and white knights will revert to social conservatism to try and make men take up the social slack and do the heavy lifting in that arena (dating). But the truth is women suck at social skills as much as men do. Maybe more - this whole blue pill line …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 03:38 PM
–

Thank you. If social skills are going to be the sole thing that puts you over the top in dating, then those are exceptional social skills (charisma, or wit perhaps), that the average person (Man nor Woman) does not especially have. Even the bullshit advice "confidence is sexy" is more spot on than assuming guys are all socially inept (or at least more inept than women in similar scenarios).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 12:46 AM
–

What about the sapiosexuals? don't they love a good argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 10:04 PM
2

Jaysus that's horrific. Sorry that happened to your brother and your family.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 03:41 AM
3

There's been some cheating and other less than stellar moments.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:54 PM
4

False sexual harassment charge. From a woman I never spoke to or interacted with in any way. She just came to my workplace, looked at me, and didn't like what she saw. She was nuts (for example, she claimed the mayor and the leader of the symphony orchestra were looking into the matter), but that doesn't matter because delusional people can be harassed in real life, so there had to be a full investigation which involved appearing in front of an HR panel (all women). Eventually the charge was dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 04:08 PM
1

Or you can take a little extra time to get to know people. This is advancing the proposition that "males" are knowable after a certain amount of time, and you can actually sort the ones you want from the ones you don't want that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/24 04:41 AM
–

That's weird. I tried to find something like that on MeetUp and all the singles mixer groups in my city aren't accepting single men currently because they have too many already. Some had a waitlist for single men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 04:59 PM
6

I had one who was a little verbally abusive. I don't recall exactly what she said because I would go into a sort of dissociative state where I would be thinking "wtf is going on here?" and be unable to process what she was saying, which I'm sure frustrated her more. Not all of what she said made sense though; she was a sophomore psyche student who was sure she could analyze on a deep level anyone at a glance, and every gesture that you made. For example, leaving a party once she went up to a sma…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 03:52 PM
1

Sure! (in reply to your 1st question, not your tldr question). It's happened that we slept together on the 1st date because we had exceptional chemistry, and we dated for a while after. But usually it isn't the case that we met for the first time that night. In one case, it was a friend of a roommate, in another case we exchanged a ton of email before we finally met.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 01:22 AM
1

Depends on the change. All relationships involve some compromise, which is a form of change. You have to learn what your partner likes and dislikes, and tailor at least some behavior to that, which is change. If your partner inspires you to be a better person, that's change. And then if you have regrets about how you handled a relationship in the past and determine to improve, that's change. Change isn't always bad. Like learning an instrument, it can be adding knowledge or skills. Learning how …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:02 PM
6

Not in any generations that are alive now. M-a-y-b-e 100+ years ago, when husbands and wives conceived of themselves as more of a team. But that might be largely a myth. Now we are independent of one another and just looking for someone to augment our lives as a pleasant accessory. Which isn't necessarily bad. I think dating was easier back then but we have more freedom and independence now.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 01:08 AM
2

What if you don't move in together or have kids (this sub has taken a hard right turn for the traditional lately)? Don't you think experiencing romance is worth it? Don't you think love is a worthwhile experience? If you had said "living with a man isn't worth it for a woman" I might be more inclined to agree. But I think the same thing about a man living w/ a woman; why would you want to? Read the things women say about men then consider "oh yeah, I want to live that 24/7".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 04:28 PM
2

I don't have my shit together enough financially, mentally, etc, to take on the project of raising a human being from scratch. Partly that's by choice; I never really desired to settle down and create the kind of stable base that a kid needs. But it never interested me; even when I was a kid I knew it would be unlikely that I'd ever get married or want kids. Dating life is almost non existent at the moment, but I've had a few moderate-length relationships in the past. Life is lonely at times but…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 03:23 AM
0

You can learn by observing others.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 03:17 AM
3

Yeah, moving in together is either nuts or fun in a reality tv experiment way.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/24 05:50 PM
1

I've moved around a lot and I've only had 1 or 2 close friends where ever I've gone. It would be great to have more but for some reason it seems to max out at 2 (and is often 1).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 05:33 PM
1

Men are swiping right on everyone, without looking so getting matches means nothing and we know it. Men don't swipe right every time. Most profiles are basic. Even women's, they are literally interchangeable with each other. So the question is, what do you do when the vast majority of profiles are inoffensive, but sort of "meh"? There's no red flag, there's no green flags, like, ever. (unless a green flag is the absence of red flags, etc) Having likes doesnt mean that we are desired or wanted. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 05:22 PM
1

I only know what I've heard a few people say online. My impression was that it was more medically supervised when you start taking the hormone. But it could not continue on like so closely supervised for the rest of your life I suppose. I've read in the past where one trans person was receiving 1500 units at a pop, which is very high, and more recently I've read that you only get ~300 units, which is normal level for a amab person, though on the lower side of the normal range. This is in the U.S…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 05:01 PM
0

While I largely agree w/ you about the lack of empathy from BP, I doubt all the women who do fail are so happy failing out at romance as these bloops want to believe. Of course, they don't want to portray it as failure on women's part, it's got to be a failure on men's part. But that's just to teach women a kind of learned helplessness that if tingles don't magically happen without them making any effort, there's nothing to be done but get a bottle of wine and some cats.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 04:24 AM
–

It's interesting that those kind of FtM narratives are coming out now. A few years back you mainly heard transmen saying how great it was; they were high on testosterone, weren't afraid to go out at night, everybody really paid attention to them when they spoke, etc. I actually wonder if the amount of testosterone that is standard to get has been lowered in recent years.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 12:07 AM
22

Good catch and distinction. OP claims not to be advocating for making single women's lives worse but can't seem to envision making relationships better. Making relationships better can mean so many things that would be advantageous to men as well as women (like making more types of relationship styles available and acceptable, adjusting expectations for relationships, etc), but oddly enough RP adjacent folks don't seem to get there.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 09:53 PM
3

So personality means nothing?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 05:14 PM
1

You're really conflating two different things as if they were the same; showing interest and "making sexual contact". It's a bizarre thing that blue pill does a lot and it reveals how conservative blue pill really is in this area (they think only a deeply damaged whore shows interest in a man; and that you should get therapy for your trauma and learn to respect yourself). Showing interest can just be starting a conversation. But blue pill interprets that as the equivalent of standing in front of…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 05:08 PM
4

Sort of. That's part of the package of femininity. Good girls, and all that. VS men who have to compete constantly to see who is more fit, yeah, not having to put others of your gender down (at least in the eyes of men) looks like morality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 04:54 PM
8

Blu doesn't equal simp. "Chads" "naturals", etc, are usually BP because the default works for them, no need to change a thing. How have you missed that? I sometimes agree w/ you that RP seems too focused on validation through getting women, even though it adamantly claims otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 03:38 PM
–

I'm not sure if I'd be in a relationship with someone who "abhors the idea". A simple "not interested" will suffice, and I'm fine with that. But if she abhors the very idea, there's probably going to be something else, maybe a lot of something elses, that she abhors down the line. I have a feeling the abhoring isn't going to start and stop there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 08:16 PM
3

I think blue pill is more into fresh n fit than red pill
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:16 PM
1

I'm not looking for just any woman though, and I imagine most ~average (using the term loosely) men want compatibility, not just any woman who will take them. In other words, one should be happy with the relationship, overall. They want the relationship to be a plus in their lives, which I think makes the question a little moot. I guess it's legit to ask "are you glad you aren't finding happiness because it might end?" But it's odd. Combine this with the fact that I don't expect perfection from …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/24 05:04 PM
13

I feel like your underlying assumption is that stereotypes about men are more true than false. One can disagree with those w/o being a Nice Guy or White Knight.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 11:35 PM
3

The documents are in case of divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 04:29 PM
5

Right. But this breezy attitude also applies to staying married. It isn't a requirement either. Hence the 1200 documents.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 04:22 PM
2

In high school I learned that a lot of my first impressions were completely wrong, so I try not to judge. Also people have prejudged me in bizarre extremes to the point where I think people are practically hallucinating throughout their days.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 12:25 AM
2

Holy f is this thread filled with delusion. Maybe I live in a liberal place where a woman criticizing other women is going to be highly frowned upon, and likely punished, in that that woman isn't going to make it very far socially or professionally if she criticizes other women. But I've never met a woman who was critical of other women and not also critical of men. In fact, I'd say where I live is pretty similar to this sub in that regard; it by default regards women as superior in socializatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 07:16 PM
2

gonna have to disagree. We are socialized differently, and to want different things. Expectations around gender roles are very different (although blue pill seems to want to deny this by and large). Our life experiences are often radically different. There's the hormonal angle too, but I usually leave that to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/24 04:02 AM
1

I think there isn't an adequate way to meet people you might be compatible with. Speaking for myself, there are only a *very* small percentage of other people who relate to me easily and intuitively. It's hard to meet enough of the gen pop to find those needles in the haystacks.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 12:37 AM
7

I think men are more apt to blurt in because few people are going to ask them their opinion under normal conditions. Others could view that style as interrupting.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 07:59 PM
2

You aren't mirroring if you are asking questions and they are not. But I get it, people in this sub believe that asking questions is the only way to get to know someone. Makes sense,.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 07:04 PM
1

Might be inexperience, or could be the guy is just thoughtless. Last date I was on, I realized later I probably didn't ask enough questions. I didn't think of some questions til later. Sort of a slow processor.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 06:14 PM
4

Yeah, that is a problem! I think it is an American thing though that equates dating w/ asking questions. I just read a thing about a American student studying abroad and the 1st time they got into a social group they started asking tons of questions and getting short perfunctory answers until one person told them, "Here in Europe, when we want to get to know someone, we don't ask questions. We enter into conversation ... and get to know the way they think" Just interesting how they differentiate…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 05:38 PM
5

Do you not speak or share thoughts unless you are asked a question directly about that topic? Americans seems to equate having a conversation with asking questions. Where I'm from someone will say something and others will just talk about that thing if they want to, without having to be invited. That feels more like how conversation happens, but maybe it's a cultural thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 05:12 PM
–

Fuck the shitheads who downvoted this. Hope they get a big taste of it someday, entitled brats.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 10:00 PM
3

Does this really build confidence though? I do this and havent felt any boost from it If you're starting from zero. Most people seem to create a dichotomy where a guy is either overflowing with riz or a complete catatonic. Socializing in general, with anyone, is never bad, so it all helps. But no, chatting up the cashier -generally - isn't going to make you confident outside of your comfort zones. To give an example, I temp in a lot of office and stores. People often think I'm a manager because …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 07:45 PM
1

Here, cafes and bars are full every day Where I live coffee shops are full but everyone is on their laptops, earbuds in, etc. It definitely depends on where you live. There's something referred to as "the Seattle Freeze" which is supposed to mean the natives don't allow others into their social lives very easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 05:52 PM
1

That was pretty sharp of you to pick up on that detail. Well done, my friend, extremely well done. We need more men like you on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 03:46 PM
–

This feels as narcissistic as guys who talk about their genetic legacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 01:56 AM
6

I asked why everything personality related is an afterthought We disagree that those things you mentioned are personality related.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 08:35 PM
6

I'm not sure why people are struggling with this. Career, for example ; I work with good people and awful people. What kind of job they have means nothing in terms of who they are. It's interesting but not vitally important. It's a step above "what kind of phone do they have" I suppose. As far as the emphasis on sex goes - play "which of these things is not like the other"; sex is something deeply personal and inter-relational. Whether you went to a prestigious school or not, not as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 08:29 PM
25

No, I just answered your question. Those things you point out aren't significant indicators of what a person is like, that's why guys don't prioritize them. Thanks for the downvote.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 07:38 PM
26

Because being a good person isn't about your career, hobbies or education. Neither does that stuff mean you will relate well to people. I have tons of hobbies I wouldn't expect a woman to have the slightest interest in. Same with my "career"; it's not even interesting to me, I just gotta do it to put groceries on the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 07:33 PM
0

I remember reading that book long time ago and thinking "she's got it rough, but she's diving into the deep end of the pool by trying to be ultra-masculine, moving to places where masculine gender roles are probably strictly enforced (meaning you will be ostracized if you don't perform them properly), engaging in stereotypically masculine jobs and hobbies. She would have fared better as male Portland hipster but she went to Iowa or someplace and joined a men's bowling league. Her observations ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/24 05:26 PM
1

True there is learning about anatomy, but then you also have to learn what the individual person likes because any two people can be nearly opposite in the kinds of touch they like and dislike. And that's where both men and woman fail. With male anatomy , there's a little less to figure out since the scale and accessibility are different, but still plenty to get wrong if you make assumptions about the person your with. tldr: men and women both suck at sex if you are being anywhere near honest wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 11:02 PM
5

If you aren't addicted to meth you aren't really trying to attract women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 08:02 PM
5

I don't think women's tendency not to approach is sexist. But: a lot of advice given to women to not approach can be viewed that way. Because a lot of that is "play your gender role correctly or you will be viewed as a defective skank" or "the man should play his gender role correctly or he's socially inferior". It's just policing trad gender roles. That's really what it boils down to, though people will make up all kinds of stories about why "it's just natural the way we do it now!", "it's natu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 05:09 PM
-1

Because none of the complaints men present here are things that make them victims of anything. disagree here. Masculine gender conformity is rigidly enforced in society. It's baked in, and it brutalizes men. I have a co worker who grew up gay in a small town, and the bullying he endured was staggering. But it isn't unique to gay men in small towns. Gender stereotyping of the most crude form permeates strait culture as well, from childhood on up.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 03:50 PM
2

So break up (let them go) and see if they stick around lol, good idea!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 04:47 PM
3

This is the absolute worst advice that you can give women: that you can abuse and lie to men and then think these men are supposed to come crawling back to you. You show no love, there's nothing to fight for.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 04:42 PM
4

As long as you don't want kids, makes sense to me. I don't see why women would want to live with a man, or vise versa. You can enjoy each other's company w/o being up each other's nose 24/7. edit: it's humoresque that this sub is non-stop carping about the other gender but then when someone suggests you don't move in together it suddenly veers traditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 12:40 AM
1

In the frozen waffles section, "YOU HAVE A TOASTER???" Am I getting the hang of it? I might not have the right stuff for this. But I really doubt giving your number out randomly is gonne generate any response.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 05:01 PM
2

I agree; people over-estimate their own and others' potential as long term partners almost consistently. However, I take OPs statement to apply to dudes who never get in the game in the first place and make those excuses. I think you can still date and have happy and healthy relationships even realizing that human beings are flawed, maybe particularly so in our present cultural state.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 04:17 PM
6

"Hey you like Fruit Loops too! Let's go out some time". I dunno dude, I think you're in a fantasy land if you think that's plausible for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 04:08 PM
1

Get used to it, because it's always going to be something.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 04:04 PM
4

Why are you dating those women then? Find someone else who actually likes you and puts in effort” oh fuck yea why didn't I think of that!? Seriously though, w/o seeing the thread you're referring to , that dude has a point; you can only date 1. who is in front of you, and 2. who will interact with you. I'm sure he'd date women into him if any came forward. But that (expressing some kind of interest) is, for many guys, a very rare thing for women to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 04:01 PM
1

I don't think so at all. It's just a standard woman who thinks men aren't human beings, or at least not ones capable of anything so lofty as love (like women are, yay!), and she's trying to make her case for how extremely hollow and empty inside men are by making the age lower. And it's not so ridiculous; there are dudes who post revenge fantasies here every day saying women are withered hags after 25. I would take her advice and listen to what dudes say about women as they age for sure, but I d…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:25 AM
3

men can only respect women who make them earn it. Average men don't need their lives to be harder. That is a weird gender essentialist /hetero normative fantasy. On the very rare occasion that women approach me I think they are brilliant, because they've recognized good qualities that others typically cannot see (even if in part it's been creative/imaginative work on their part). The notion that men don't like it when women like them should be absurd on its face. Rare is the male ego that is so …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:23 PM
1

It almost sounds like this is what you want to be true. bingo
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:08 PM
–

I agree with you. I'm baffled that that sub thinks they nailed true objectivity about looks. Their 8s and 9s often just have their hair styled + make up, etc, but otherwise often tend to have a somewhat generic look that is pretty but not especially interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 03:44 AM
–

Batgirl is cute and carries her weight well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 02:20 AM
5

I agree with all except the 'reading the room' part. If anything, shy men probably read the room better than anyone. That's because they are not comfortable in the environment, so they tend to be too hyper aware and too self conscious. The times when I've been most confident were when I was in something resembling a manic state, where I was aware of the room but not very concerned about it. I wasn't doing what a lot of guys do, like OP, thinking "Why am I approaching this stranger? Is it only be…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 06:37 PM
7

It's calculated down to the months of the year.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 04:41 PM
2

So was he into the sex still even though he didn't care about you at all, per your claim about all men? And then follow up question; why would you put up with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:05 PM
8

disagree with the last sentence. There's a lot of confusion around the following; men will have sex sometimes just when they are bored, BUT, like women, they can still get bored of sex - when either they aren't into their partner or their partner isn't into them - and then will no longer want it. Dead bedroom sub, where just about as many women claim to have husbands that are no longer into it, attests to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:02 PM
1

There is a bizarre perception of, you're either Chad or your an incel, with no very accurate perception for what an average guy's life is like. The idea seems to be that the average guy is sort of a Chad-lite, who hangs out at Walmart with his girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 04:34 PM
–

It seems you've somehow confused "bitter incels" with the non Chads when women are pretty clearly only referring to a subclass of the bottom 60% of men that is realistically only like 20% of men in total. Yeah, no. women are not out here pity dating bitter incels en masse, or they wouldn't be bitter incels. Unless women conceive of any guy who has a complaint about anything to do with dating as a "bitter incel".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 04:25 PM
10

Well yeah - isn't that a tautology; the most popular people are the ones who get the most attention by definition. I don't think that means it's over for second or third tier guys because most women realize eventually that 1 - top guys are often taken, and/or 2 - the top guys are maybe a little too used to getting what they want, and their personalities are going to reflect that to some degree. by all means, not all women come to that conclusion though. I don't think I've ever heard a woman in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 04:08 AM
3

Many people believe behavior is a mix of bio determined and environmentally shaped. Not so with our evo psyche devotees though. They regard evo psych as the sole shaper of behavior, and to make it worse they adhere to that belief with something resembling religiousity. Part of what makes it repulsive is the rigidity of the faith of its adherents, rigidity that David Buss doesn't even have. He at least acknowledges that a lot of what he does is hypothetical and conjectural. There are 2 kinds of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 05:21 PM
2

If this were the general zeitgeist, average guys might do better with whatever percentage of women are neither on apps nor going out to clubs. So, mostly the introverts and shy girls I guess. If there are any appreciable number of those left, they would presumably be drawing from their friend circle, or school or work mates. IRL there aren't stacks of Chads to swipe through, there's probably one or two in any given milieu, and once they are clearly taken (or disqualified for whatever reason), sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 11:14 PM
–

Posts are already starting to resemble small novellas though. I think you just have to take into consideration that people from all different religious and cultural backgrounds make up the sub. But it's not a bad idea for them to state where they are coming from at times. For example, I live in an extremely liberal west coast city and have worked at several large, women dominated workplaces, which is probably a different reality than many others have experienced. Occasionally posters here will s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 07:59 PM
2

This makes the most sense. It seems like a reciprocal thing, not something that flows only in one direction. That's why you've chosen that partner in the first place; you see something special in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/24 12:09 AM
2

ok I didn't know you had read a book. I take it all back.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 06:07 PM
0

You are not in the position to help anyone with that bud. Yank your head out of your ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 05:34 PM
2

Or there's this approach. What is it exactly that you need, though?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 05:27 PM
4

I don't believe men aren't aware, just outnumbered by the amount of simps. I don't think the awareness is as extensive as you think it is. Lots of guys think constructing a masculine ego consists of "needing" pussy, and w/o it they are going to shrivel up and die (at least an ego death). If they were ever to confess to not "needing" pussy, they'd immediately be called incels, low T, gay-in-denial, asexual, aromantic, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 03:56 PM
3

I value friendships w/ other men, but it seems really hard to make a connection on any deeper level. I've moved around a bit and I consider myself fortunate to have at least one good friend where ever I've gone. But I puzzle over why it only seems to be just one (maybe a couple back in school years). Usually it's because we share a similar sense of humor or maybe similar way of thinking, and that makes our attempts at humor easier to understand. I guess it's the same with dating; it's hard to fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 08:34 PM
2

You can ask trans men about it too and they'll tell you after they transition how things changed. This is an excellent point. Part of the problem with making friends easily is that everyone is suspicious of men. Women choose the bear after all. So there generally isn't that invitation to open up or participate extended to the newcomer when it's a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 05:18 PM
6

Many people here defend OF creators as a kind of innocuous or more benign sex worker, or just a normal person who is only responding to a market opportunity because they get objectified anyway; why not make a buck off of it?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:37 PM
1

The problem with youth sports is it can still be mercilessly competitive on the boy's side. A few bad throws in a baseball game can get you some pretty nasty ridicule, and not being good at sports can translate to poor social ranking outside of sports (at least where I grew up which had minimal adult supervision). That's why I never objected to the idea of "participation trophies"; I think you should at least be acknowledged for trying something even if you sucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 10:27 PM
1

There's too much lazy evo psyche "men need sex more" used as a crutch against introspection. But it might be fear that there's nothing left, no viable goal; if men don't have the hope of romantic love, what do they have? For women, there seems to be an idea growing that a woman can have a satisfying and even happy life w/o a primary male partner (for het women obvs). This idea hasnt' taken hold with the male set anywhere near as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 06:08 PM
2

I agree with you up to a certain extent, because some critiquing of gender roles is part of the "manosphere" (getting tired of that word), even if it's done in an awkward and halting way. Feminism in its trajectory had to do the same thing; it had to critique men and the masculine role, heavily, to open up the eyes of women everywhere. It also critiqued what it perceived as internalized misogyny (usually the embrace of trad gender role that required denigration of any alternative). Men have not …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 05:34 PM
–

The hugs idea is nice. It's a good contrast to the usual - no eye contact, headphones on, phone staring, lock the car doors, cross the street when they see you coming because you look like a monster - response. But I would agree with the commenters who say men should work on improving the quality of their friendships on their own. Not that men need to be hugging each other, per se. But they should work on creating more social outlets and work on easing up on the competition thing a bit. I was lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 03:14 AM
4

But I think women get the edge when it comes to in-group socialization. Men have to compete with each other too much. Plus men come from that spot of perceived privilege where it isn't regarded as important to support each other ,ever, unless maybe they guy is a co-worker or team-mate (i.e, times where you benefit indirectly). Women on the other hand do get at least some messaging that "sisters gotta stick together" or whatnot, and it makes sense that they would foster more comradery since women…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:27 PM
-1

Never seen. Why might it be indicative of how women regard men?
/r/MensRights23/07/24 07:11 PM
1

No; there's always going to be ramifications of your beliefs and practices. ripples in the pond and so forth. While true that RP was originally just about "increasing men's sexual power", even though that sounds pretty vague, there are lots of downstream effects from it. Example: RP wants to "take women off the pedestal". Just interpreting what that means (why is woman on a pedestal? What does it mean to take her off? etc) is going to require, pretty quickly, "grand narratives".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:42 PM
6

I absolutely don't buy this rhetoric that guys, women ,anyone as a group, can successfully evaluate/parse extremely hyperbolic (inflammatory) language and put it in proper perspective. Maybe it's the communication style of gen Z or something, that I don't know, but pretty much everyone else I see, male and female, takes stuff way too literally. Some guy might intend something as hyperbole, but a bunch of other guys will interpret it in a more literal fashion. While I often critique what I see as…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:27 PM
1

Status is a huge factor. Hence the sayings "power is seductive". "Confidence" is often a (somewhat) softer, nicer version of the concept of status. But status also often blends seamlessly with ideas about personality, so you often have popular people who are popular because they are nice and/or funny,, not only because they are attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:15 PM
–

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:28 PM
2

The only time I'd say this is a problem is when she's not even really offering a genuine friendship, meaning, if the guy refuses to pay for something or provide some service (like rides) then she doesn't want to have anything to do with him. There are guys who go along just to see what happens and would be ok if it's only friendship, but then realize "oh, she's a sucky friend, too", but that realization only becomes clear after he's put in an unequal amount of effort/money/time already. This occ…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 04:46 PM
1

My responsibility, it happens, and no big deal. Frustration would only begin to show if she showed no interest or made no effort over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 12:05 AM
–

It's one of the few subs where you can even mention something like a 'women are wonderful' bias. And that is what makes it seem "men are wonderful" to you. Also disagree with top comments claiming society is so well adjusted and this sub is an anomaly in expressing its biases. That's extremely naive. More well adjusted? Perhaps. But by no means are any of the views here especially rare, they're just more edited elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 04:56 PM
–

If the roles were reversed women would feel exactly the same way men do. This is an interesting claim. Some would say it's different for girls because the hormones are different. Not being as much of a biological determinist, I don't think that's it. I think gendered socialization is the biggest part. But also the hardest to see for some reason. It seems completely invisible to women, and not a topic of agreement among men. Specifically, I think boys are raised in a way that is isolating and mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 05:27 PM
3

but women will help you if they like your looks. This is very true. True for anyone I guess; if they like how you look others are more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt, sometimes in an extreme way where they think you are miles cleverer than you really are. And if you make a bad first impression they are searching (when they're not avoiding you) for red flags to reinforce their intuition.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 10:25 PM
4

What exactly are we talking about by "social skills"? And why is it presumed men don't have them but women do? Do you really mean being able to successfully cold approach someone, which is generally incumbent on men? Cause presumably if we're talking about dating in your "social circle" you already have adequate enough social skills to have a social circle. though your social circle may not include enough eligible single people in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:06 PM
3

I know what you mean. in some subs you're just downvoted into oblivion immediately, so what's the point? But still I think it will have an cumulative effect eventually. Tho I definitely get picking your spots because who needs the aggravation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 11:22 PM
1

Men could probably do more in this regard online. Mostly when you see men spouting the hackier gender stereotypes. Not just stereotypes about women, stereotypes about other men as well. I'm talking about the stereotypes like men will have sex with any woman any time; men are always horny and ready for sex 24/7; to men all sex, like all pizza, is good (neither is true), etc. Basically the constant simping or portraying the entire gender as mostly simps with a sprinkling of Chads on top. Men could…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 09:49 PM
0

I don't think I have any red or green flags. I had an ex who made this rule in our relationship: no bagpipes before noon. My only rule is: the driver picks (approves or vetoes) the tunes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 06:14 PM
28

I didn't find it as compelling as you did. Many replies are about single female friends as well. But one theme that struck me is that the guys lack confidence mainly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 05:53 PM
1

Sally. She sounds like the least precious of the lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:11 PM
9

Is there anybody who isn't damaged? People with no experience have severe FOMO at some point, messing up their ability to be happy in a relationship when they finally find one. Promiscuous people "can't pair bond". What's the happy medium? Personally I think experience makes you realize what you really value, and it makes you realize what doesn't work, so it's not something to be feared. It's probably better to have experience than not to have it in the modern world.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 08:33 PM
2

/s
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 05:25 PM
0

Certainly (many) women here judge men by the very worst posts in the sub. It's the human condition; you have to be aware of potential threats so negative criticism gets more attention and positive vibes flow away under the bridge to the sea. Painting women in a bad light does have more purpose than the one you propose though (ego soothing). Contrary to many claims, it can be regarded as "treating women like people" = people who are capable of profound shallowness and even the depths of evil. Jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 05:06 PM
8

This sub is filled with biologists. It's amazing. But you can't argue with solid science (not fantasy!) like that above.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 04:43 PM
8

Yes, just like celebrities are most attractive. That is so far removed from most people realities that it is, for practical purposes, irrelevant. Or it should be unless you are in a state of severely arrested maturity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:57 AM
3

A lot of blue pill posts make me sympathetic to red pill, but threads like this knock it right out of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 12:18 AM
3

Yeah but lets be honest; I'm perfectly happy with the normal version of myself, which involves modest attempts as self improvement. But if you're mid, that isn't enough to attract the other gender so extra steps have to be taken, and it is like taking on extra work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 09:03 PM
20

Because they would just make themselves more attractive to women of around their same age, or older. So what's the point? Most guys find women around their own age attractive. You are suffering from the male equivalent of a romantic delusion if you think you need to be with 20 year olds all your life. You're no different than the women who think they need a celebrity or happiness just isn't possible. Let me guess: a little autistic? Not trying to be rude, but I find that the people who need to r…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:59 PM
14

You make the world sound so reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 04:11 AM
29

The disconnect is/was in the DEGREE to which attractiveness matters to women. This perhaps became a notable issue only when online dating became a thing. And even today you will hear blue pillers say "online dating isn't representative of real life!" like those are somehow completely different humans online. Online behavior, on and off dating apps, showed women in very different lights than gender stereotypes had previously depicted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:04 PM
0

I mean who's doing that ? Pretty much any guy who's been told to "man up" or some variation thereof when they were growing up. You gotta become stoic from a fairly young age, without understanding why exactly. A lot of stereotypical masculine behavior isn't exactly natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 11:02 PM
1

Hey , you get 10 different anecdotes together, suddenly you've got yourself a study. Researchers do study individual case studies too , you know. And then groups of case studies to look for patterns.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 04:09 PM
2

Even if "third spaces" were still prevalent, I guarantee you it wouldn't have much impact on dating; women will stay be Chad-only I disagree to the following extent; when there are 3rd spaces, more guys can qualify as chads or chad-lites. Or to put it in non-chad terms, that normal people can understand, more guys are seen as dateable (even if they may not be the ultimate first choice) if/when women get to know them a little. Problem is , I don't really know what a "3rd space" is. I'm thinking i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:02 PM
2

Are you aromantic/asexual? Or not sexually oriented towards the fellas?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:32 AM
1

You make good points here, but I think part of that value is derived from the fact that the guy is often a quasi-outcast in society (unless he is high status in some way), so he's looking to compensate for the vacuum in his life from a woman. The fact that relationships with women are so often men's only source of intimate friendship is a product of social conditioning as much as any inherent extra value in women. edit; not saying relationships w/ women don't have value. I think women and men bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 01:22 AM
3

I think this is one of those cases of the algorithm feeding you what you react to. People say that to men here, but I'm sure it happens to women too; if you consume rage bait you will be inundated with similar material, eventually more and more salacious and sensational. Anything to get those clicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 12:02 AM
4

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 05:46 PM
5

Disagree completely. There's the online ideal to compete with now, both in terms of the attractive image and in terms of FOMO/envy of others. You can throw the ubiquity of online porn into the mix if you want. I've noticed people being more aloof just in the past decade. I think it's a reaction to being bombarded with the demands of a hyper-consumer culture and this idea that you're supposed to have a "lifestyle", which in turn has been mega-hyped, etc I have no idea how you can stick your head …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 02:55 PM
1

I've never been able to grasp the friendzone concept either. I have a quibble with your idea that you should remain friends with the person though. Sometimes it can happen that people are compatible as romantic partners but not as friends. Because in a relationship you prioritize stuff differently. The relationship and relationship building comes first (generally speaking). For example, I've dated some extreme extroverts and I'm an introvert. It's like, instead of doing what we both would normal…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 02:42 PM
1

I think it can be habituating. Which is a problem if your partner isn't into it. In which case I think you can just stop with it. I don't view it as an addiction in the sense that you really just can't stop on your own, you need PornAnon or something. Perhaps in very rare cases. I dated a person who was kind of into porn once, and I found it sorta hot. Most people I meet are way not into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 12:18 AM
1

Marriage might not be for everyone (though back in the day - and today to some extent - the assumption was that it should be). Maybe they are just thinking about it a little harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 06:50 PM
22

Everybody ignores the information that they don't like. Everybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:38 PM
3

It is generally assumed here that men have to learn social skills, and that's the advice/critique that is commonly given. For women, not so much. In fact, never.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:48 PM
17

While you make some points about there being a possible over-correction in modern times, the portrait you paint of boomer marriage isn't an enviable one. Who would marry if your husband reliably turned out to be a lazy philandering buffoon and your wife an emasculating harridan? Boomers might have leaned into those stereotypes a little too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:45 PM
3

The link is down at the moment. But I do sometimes wonder when I read posts about WGTOW if other women are a little TOO encouraging on them to give up on dating and become a spinster. Obviously, if you can't negotiate relationships or dating in any way w/o repeated spectacular failure, you should probably step away for a while. But instead of encouraging someone to learn how to do something that is within their grasp, the advice "No, girl, just give up, you'll be much happier!" is offered awfull…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:24 PM
–

I guess ya could look at it this way: there's so many of us that it's time for only the best genes to move on, and even if the genes aren't the best, it's time for people who REALLY WANT KIDS to have them and people WHO DON"T WANT KIDS to not have them. These and many more factors (like respecting personal liberty, but also things like environmental resource recovery, etc) will probably factor into a brighter future for all. You're going to be ok! Also if it's a choice between the liberated west…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:16 AM
5

There's that, but also I just see too many women, even claimed feminists, who just believe girls are better. Better socialized, more compassionate, more capable of empathy, less prone to violence or abuse, etc. Even some of the most liberal people still believe some of the worst stereotypes of gender essentialism.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 06:11 PM
7

Extreme bias against boys by adult women educators is one I actually worry about.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 03:03 PM
1

The “if you can’t handle me at my worst” thing was something said by some women to excuse them being insufferable. I interpret this to mean "I will abuse you but it will be within what I consider acceptable bounds".
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 02:54 PM
3

Use Boyfriend Inc. to generate quarterly performance reports complete with charts indicating valuation trends vs expenses. Have boyfriend sign over shares in futures plus fee structure for devaluation. Have a competent accountant present.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 02:48 PM
1

Friend only if you are ok with being friends only
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 03:09 AM
5

It's not your responsibility to 'prove them wrong.' I'm not sure what you're getting at at the end there. It is your responsibility to prove yourself reliable if you're trying to have a relationship with this person. Trust is earned, it's not just handed out like a baloney sandwich. (I like that version of the old saying "respect is given but trust is earned").
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 11:52 PM
6

I think maybe these particular women (who knows how big a subset they are) aren't that into guys their age, for whatever reason. Maybe they think the guys have not aged well physically (contrary to the RP mythos), or the guys have become too set in their ways (boring). Not saying that's all true, but maybe that's the perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:08 PM
4

What's good for the gander is good for the goose, or whatever that saying is.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 10:05 PM
20

Somewhat. It's becoming more common on OLD to see 40+ women write "I seem to get along with younger men better" or something similar. I don't necessarily agree with the woman in the video though; I don't think older women are looking to be super serious with a much younger man. It looks more like they are having a mid-life crisis and want to experience and enjoy the perks of being desirable because they see old age looming in the not too distant future, AND they've kept themselves somewhat in sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 08:09 PM
0

It might depend on the time of day something is posted. I agree with you; at times I've seen more (probably very young) guys who think everyone is hooking up but them, and so they post the "I can haz casual sex?" comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 06:12 PM
-1

IF this sub were all about casual sex I wouldn't be here because that isn't particularly an interest for me personally, and not something I regard as a societal issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 04:17 PM
12

don’t even show them my sexual side and all they want is a hookup so clearly that doesn’t work either 😂 Well, that sorta worked, in that you figured out you didn't want the same things. No ragrats.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 04:06 PM
10

I always assume they are looking for a relationship, unless stated otherwise. There was a post not long ago asking what guys here were looking for and the vast majority said relationship rather than casual sex. At least I think there was, or did I hallucinate that?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 04:04 PM
1

I agree to a certain extent. Great write up about Blue Pill. Blue pill definitely has a stance that it angrily defends, it's not just "opposite of red pill". And it might be somewhat gynocentric, but I'm beginning to think it's actually closer to trad con than people realize, meaning it isn't quite as feminist, or as sex positive, as it might have you believe. That's why it wakes up in a cold sweat at the thought of "pick me's" possibly existing. That pernicious, and probably fictional, weed has…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 03:50 PM
3

disagree totally and view the whole "htehree is no bloo pill!" as a weasel strategy to get out of taking responsibility for what blue pill espouses, which OP outlines fairly accurately.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 03:34 PM
1

People, OP was asking specifically about this community, not the entire world.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 11:31 PM
2

That is a legit question. That channel is I'd say pretty strongly blue pill in it's messaging and I can't think of anyone that is going to peer review it (meaning actually sift through all the claims it's making to see if they are consistent with the source material or cherry picked to advance an agenda/self promote).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:52 PM
5

I think there is a subset of women who are very into that for whatever reasons. All you really need is some sort of "foot in the door" ice breaker kind of thing working for you. Tats seem to work for a lot of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:49 PM
4

Because it's not quite as dire as you make it out to be. Most replies here will gaslight you into thinking it's like the 50s and people are falling in love and average women just love average looking strange dudes coming up to "chat" or some other blue pill fantasy nonsense, but the truth is, per usual, somewhere in between. There are reasonable women out there, it's just become less clear how to find them. Well, I guess I should say the problem is how to meet them, since, as our blue pill frien…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 09:39 PM
2

"I'd like to talk to you, but you have to start." The beginning of the conversation should be on the person who wants to initiate it, He did start it though. That counts as a start. She could have answered w/ whatever's been on her mind lately; chemistry, economics, politics, randomness, a book, cats, etc. Maybe he should have asked something like "what's been on your mind lately" but I'm not sure that would have worked any better. But then: I guess she did answer. She likes to chat about etique…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:40 PM
2

I like the idea. But ... I sort of hate "chatting", the rare exception being those moments where it seems like you have chemistry with the person. But you can't answer that question; "I like chatting when I have chemistry w/ the other person, otherwise I like to end it as soon as possible".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:36 PM
2

I agree here, except I disagree on what the change should look like. Instead of making themselves over into the ideal of masculinity men have to learn how to define/redefine that for themselves. And that is what they refuse to do. In fact they go the opposite way by trying to eliminate ambiguity (and choice, and thereby the responsibility that follows from choosing) in answers from Evolutionary psychology and determinism, trad conservatism, and other black and white philosophies. Anything, as lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:46 PM
6

Were it that simple there would be no divorce or cheating or dead bedrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 09:41 PM
1

I will grant you that it's easier to fuck it up than to make gains. But for instance, there's a guy I work with who has bangs. I don't think he's really a bad looking guy, but not many guys can pull off that look. He looks like he hasn't changed his hairstyle since he was 8.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 07:50 PM
1

Yes you can. Unless you're positing absolute worst case scenarios. But for the average person, they can swing it either way to some extent. Why? Precisely because people are completely artificial and shallow. If they don't know you they will judge your value as a human being based on what your hair is doing that day. It's 100% about 1st impression. It's not very different than judging you based on what bands you like or whether you have tattoos or not, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 07:19 PM
1

In olden times RP wasn't terribly concerned with marriage so I think you are conflating traditional-conservative relationship types with RP. So be it; RP, lacking any formal manifesto, has become pretty much whatever anyone says it is. Due to that malleability though it can also be more than the interests of a few traditional-conservatives. It can be viewed equally as easily as a critique of marriage in general ("she's not yours, it's just your turn", "don't have one-itis", "women only love men …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 06:21 PM
2

You can bump yourself up or down a point and, say, a half, through wearing decent clothes, the right haircut (which is often the hardest to dial in) and being reasonably fit. Being fit doesn't mean having the body of an action star (tho that would help too). It can just mean don't be overweight and try to have your arms look good in a short sleeve shirt. Then there's the personality aspect. Gotta learn how to charm em. Not easy if it doesn't come naturally or if you're shy, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:54 PM
2

Is there somebody who reduce people to mouth and stormach? If it was only men who needed food they would. Both men and women need to eat, breath air, etc. But the stereotype is that men need sex, i.e., MEN NEED WOMEN. But not vise versa, which is part of the reason this stereotype appeals so much to women. Men buy right into it too of course because what else to they have? We're talking about rule. You brought an exception that not even valid, because these men aren't healthy. Are asexuals unhea…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:40 PM
–

My own intuition is often wrong. When I first went to a new high school I remember seeing a guy in my class and thinking "that's the guy I'm going to have to fight". We turned out to be good friends even after high school. Women will claim they have superior intuition because they need to be more aware of their surroundings, etc. They might even claim this edge is evolutionary. If that were true though you'd expect women to be excellent judges of character, and I don't see women being particular…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 03:03 AM
14

1 question is, is prostitution good for the well being of the women involved? 2nd, I'm going to experiment pushing back on the whole "men need sex" narrative. It's a little like standing up in a women's studies class and yelling "you girls just need a good dick!" It's reducing men to a dick with arms and legs. Is there an actual biological need to have sex? I don't know. Asexuals would seem to demonstrate that there is not. Look at the number of ridiculous dudes who insist they would fuck anythi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 01:16 AM
8

Lack of empathy for anyone is a red flag. Too many people are interpreting that little piece of advice as being literally about how people treat waitstaff. It's about how they treat everyone. That includes online.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 03:42 AM
11

Because according to the OP's question, your personalities are a great match. That's not so easy to find. And it's not about "not liking fat people" it's about not being sexually attracted to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 11:06 PM
–

give up on dating western (or even all) women. Focusing on having a good life in lieu of female company. I haven't seen the blueprint for how they plan to do that yet though. If they could do it I would think they'd get on it rather than bemoaning their loneliness crisis. Women don't seem to be experiencing the same crisis, at least not to the same degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 10:59 PM
5

If you, as a dude, only find very young women attractive, to the point where women beyond that age are unattractive to you, then you've swallowed the kool-aid somewhere along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 03:08 AM
2

It's an entertaining but false premise because women don't settle, and they especially don't have sex unless they want to have sex. If you want to try to claim "no, they have sex because they want the meal paid for, not because they want to have sex", you're wandering into a realm of absurdity. All that for a Wendy's Doublestack?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 04:53 PM
3

It is an exquisitely phrased question; part rage bait, part logical conundrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 04:50 PM
1

It's a good question. Does going half really make a woman less feminine? Or less "submissive"? Is that a very traditional view that most women in a progressive city aren't going to share? Are there other ways to do the more traditional gender role play thing if that's what you and she are into? Or does it have to extend to paying for her? It is a fiscal thing in part. I'd pay for everyone if I was made of money. I'd pay for her if I had a lot of $. Unfortunately I'm a working peasant, so it's la…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 11:14 PM
1

No, because I'm not a monster.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 08:38 PM
1

Aren't there a lot of women in social work though? Who are.. social? I used to work for a shelter that was full of young people (who weren't burned out yet) who all dated each other and were a sizable social circle outside of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 05:34 PM
1

I sort of have. I wouldn't describe it as "sugar baby" but I dated someone who had dated a very rich guy who freely spent his money, took her on an extended tour of another continent, lavish dinners, fine hotels, etc. And it was obvs just for the dough. His first words to her were "I luffff you" whispered hoarsely in her ear. Confidence that comes from having bankrolls to back it up. It didn't last long with us, I was way too boring (and cheap) and she was well aware that she had tons of opportu…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 05:16 PM
2

I agree. If 9 is a supermodel, what's 10, Jesus?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 05:09 PM
1

I've always heard this argument, that the fact that an insult for men is calling them "a pussy" or something feminine, and therefor femininity is viewed as inferior to masculinity. But I'm not sure it's true. I think the insult is in the failure to perform your prescribed gender role, which is particularly dire for men as there is (or used to be) no room for variance in how masculinity is performed. It is rigid. But aren't women also insulted for not being "real women" or "nice girls" or whateve…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 03:27 AM
1

I don't know from status, but as a man you are treated differently if you are with a woman. Women are taught to fear you. Men are taught to compete with you. Couples wonder if you're going to steal the hand towels or some other low life thing that a social reject like a single male might do. But if you're with a woman, you're fine, everything's rosy! Part of it could be a feedback loop; you know that when you're with a woman you can be friendly and others won't misinterpret your intentions or se…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 10:48 PM
1

All the “touch deprived” stuff is a psy op by men to get women to feel sympathetic for them and to get pity sex from them. A little cynical. That may be the case sometimes, but I think the "touch deprived" thing is more about feeling lonely rather than literally touch deprived. for instance, do men with a lot of friends and family and active social lives (but not an intimate partner) say they are "touch deprived"? I think men default to that often because it seems like sex is the answer, so I ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 08:00 PM
1

I would think martial arts would be an exceptional atmosphere, rather than the norm, since as you say the ice is already broken via grappling, etc. I used to play basketball a lot and even though there was a fair amount of contact, there wasn't much hugging going on after. But I'm from the northeast U.S., where we got into the hugging game a little late. When I moved to the west coast I was surprised how huggy everyone was. Then there's covid, which kind of mixed up whatever the hugging protocol…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 07:52 PM
8

It was way the fuck easier. the online image has become everything now. I mean everything. Plus you're a dude who claims to always have slain effortlessly from day one, but has now been married for what, 10 years?, so how do you claim to be an authority on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 06:07 PM
1

I don't think so. You could look at it from the perspective of, women have to be more perceptive because they tend to be more vulnerable, and this becomes a mindset that informs how women evaluate strangers based on 1st impressions and things like "red flags", whereas men can take a more relaxed "lets see how it goes" approach w/o feeling at risk. End result; men being more open about possible partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:43 AM
1

She told me via text that she was angry at me for the way I left our previous text conversation. I thought it had just been some "check in" texts. We'd only been on one coffee date and I couldn't get over the fact that she was already "angry" with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 07:41 PM
16

Male and female psychological differences are solely due to cultural differences Few people claim it's solely cultural. so that might be a bit of a strawman. People do often maintain culture as a chief contributing factor, which I'm not seeing this study as contradicting, though that is the conclusion many here will leap to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:20 PM
2

Right, there's also an idea that what you are seeing when you have your romance goggles on is the real world. It's when you are in your normal state that you are sorta depressed and unable to see how absolutely amazing stuff is. "The problem isn't that we love that one too much, but that we love others too little"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:34 AM
3

I believe in love but like you I'm skeptical about romantic love. There will always be a few happy marrieds who will chime in how hot their sex life is after 40 years together. Perhaps that can happen, but I'd consider that fairly rare. However romantic love isn't meaningless. Just like some of the epiphanies people have when tripping balls are actually insightful and meaningful. Romance can be the same way. And it can if you're lucky romantic love may transform into one of the other more prosai…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 01:14 AM
1

I kinda don't get the question. If I'm dating someone and I like them, I've never been surprised by some sudden change in behavior. I'm always a little weirded out when people say someone suddenly changed in some unpredictable way. And I've had partners get bored of me and suddenly decide they were poly, cheat on me, etc. But none of it was "oh my god, who could have ever seen that coming!"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 10:17 PM
3

Probably kindness would have to be there, otherwise it's a no-go, right? Next maybe humor, then intelligence. The rest of those things are nice but not necessary unless the person had a crippling lack of any one of them, like to the point where it affects their daily functioning. Most normal people can muster up enough of them given supportive circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 07:11 PM
8

I think it's very much social conditioning. girls are held close to the home and overprotected, boys are pushed out and ordered to compete and fend for themselves from an early age. The only time males can expect love or even caring is from some future wife. In return for that love and caring he will sacrifice his waking hours at the factory bringing home $. This has been the traditional model of civilization. Feminism has given some women an alternative to this trad model. The men haven't quite…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 03:50 AM
7

men don't like pearl because she's a woman. what does that even mean? wtf happened to this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 03:38 AM
12

Gen z are sometimes shocked at how dull and awful many jobs are. Add to that student debts and the whole game seems not worth playing. "Copper digging" is this person's solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 04:57 PM
2

Now that I see what you are actually talking about in that link, there is something a little disturbingly immature about her. Not that I'd feel the need to make a negative comment. Maybe it's just because she posts pics of her drinking a lot and seems a little fucked up in some of them. It's a little cringe calling yourself a "32 y.o. teenager" whether you're a man or a woman ("hello fellow kids!"). But more power to her if she's enjoying herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 12:38 AM
1

You're basically saying the same thing as the rest of this circle jerk, but for some reason it isn't just hitting the right way for the bloops.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 12:10 AM
1

I've looked at tons of old college yearbooks to answer this very question (speaking for myself only of course, but I do have good taste). I'd say 50 to 60% of men AND women are reasonably attractive. More if you squint a little. Caveat; I was looking at older yearbooks where people tended to have good haircuts and maybe weren't quite as heavy as they might be now.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 11:12 PM
1

I think it's blue and red now that you mention it. Akshully, probably desperate rp guys and smug bp women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 09:24 PM
1

170 isn't that bad. Consider, a few people who are 200+ are going to skew that average upward. Personally, I don't see fat people everywhere like Reddit does. Admittedly, I don't hang out at Walmart like Reddit also seems to like. Maybe it's more of a middle of the country thing where everyone is grossly overweight. Where I am, I'd say about 2-3 people out of 10 are VERY overweight, and they would bump those averages up, but the rest of the people (the majority) aren't that heavy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 09:20 PM
1

I'm definitely picking up on a blue pill theme that "men NEED WOMEN!" which I'm feeling certain ways about. Like is this an analysis of the world as it is? Or is it a hypnotic suggestion (and an ego boost) that "you can't live without us!"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 09:14 PM
1

Your second bullet point is a good question. I know we definitely hear that as a mantra for women, but I think that's more to free them from the idea that women have to be in relationships to be happy. It's a more recent thing. There definitely should be more promotion of bachelor life over the blind necessity of being partnered. I'd probably agree with you that the sentiment (better single than in an i.r.r.) is more prevalent among women, but I wonder if it's not as far apart as you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 07:05 PM
1

Many women who would rather be partnered are not “wasting time” for hedonistic frivolous fun as you seem to think 1st I want to be clear; I don't think "hedonistic" fun is bad. In fact, it's a great legitimate choice. I wouldn't describe it as hedonistic either, it's just having a fun life. That's my bad though I didn't write that very well, and now everyone thinks that I think if women aren't in relationships they are wasting their lives. That's not what I was trying to say. I also disagree wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:19 PM
2

That's a good point. It does tend to be more guy related stuff like camping. A little more limited in scope but definitely a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:12 PM
3

Yeah, I wrote that poorly. What I'm referring to as "wasting time" is people who want to be in relationships but put off trying forever because it's easier than putting yourself out there and making an effort. Obviously if someone has zero desire they don't need that to be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:08 PM
1

No. I know that seems to contradict my first paragraph. It's only a waste of time if women aren't doing what they would really like to do. I'm not saying doing stuff themselves is a waste. Ah shit nobody's going to understand that. Oh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:05 PM
4

I went to a men's group near me and I was the only one there besides the organizer. I live in a big city ( but in a weird neighborhood, so it could be that hyper-local). Fraternal organizations used to be very popular with men. And I think their main function was social (there usually was a bar attached to the main hall), though there were some other benefits like having your funeral expenses paid, etc. These organizations declined precipitously in the later half of the 20th century. Not sure wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:59 PM
1

I can't speak to the men you seem to be seeing on your comment sections. But I have some resentment about how much time women waste. Life is actually very short. It doesn't seem like it now, but ask most old people and they will tell you it goes quick. To use an analogy, I was very shy as a teen and into my 20's. I didn't know how to fully live life and I avoided a lot and missed a lot of opportunities and learned who I was and what I wanted v-e-r-y slowly. I wasted a lot of time. I wasted a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:45 PM
2

While that is very true, there are also some generalities that apply to our times, like what people (generally) value, how relationships work under different circumstances, etc. But you are right, context like that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 07:54 PM
2

When I was very young shyness hindered me. I'm over that to some degree, but I'm still not entirely gregarious unless I've got a couple of coffees in me after not having drank it for a while (my cocaine I guess). A lot of times when people talk about "social skills" here, they are referring to extroverts, sometimes extreme extroverts, who have the social energy to go out a lot, and assuming that this is what the average man should be like. In reality both men's and women's social skills tend to …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 11:00 PM
2

Well there are (were?) women only schools and universities. What do women report about their experience with them? Shangrila where everyone holds hands and skips between classes? (probably better than the male version)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 04:52 PM
6

I have read a little about women's communes. There often is a reported feeling of greater safety in general. However, there are all of the same power grabs when it comes to who gets the best jobs, perks, etc. And there are some incidents of violence because not every individual drawn to extreme things is going to be completely stable. It is hard to get an honest assessment because most of the interviews you can find are with people who were personally invested in making the project look good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 04:51 PM
1

I'll check out the wiki page, but the womyn's lands where I am (west coast) tend to be pretty dormant. The founders still cling to them because they are invested but they say women these days can feel part of community where they are and don't need to go "back to the land" (most of these lands were very rural).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 04:41 PM
35

...they build support networks men are not as good at creating. I was checking out the bulletin board at my coffee shop and there are tons of women-only events happening. Nothing for the dudes. Guys just haven't figured out their niche in the new world order yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 04:03 AM
–

I wouldn't say it's that obvious until later in life. Early on you are told "there's someone for everyone", "you'll find your person", "if you don't try,, it will just happen", "go to Walmart", etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 03:58 AM
2

Several times. It went well when I knew the person. The only time it went "badly" was with someone online. We had started to flirt heavily but I didn't want to meet when and where she suggested so she started calling me gay, a pussy, etc. Might have been someone trying to catfish me into something, who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 09:54 PM
2

a bottom-tier women (which, to be fair, is all most red pillers want anyways). To be fair, it's nice to see these kind of unbiased takes from bloops for a change. It's almost like empathy from these self proclaimed masters of social skills, but not quite.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 06:53 PM
3

I don't think I expect the worst, but I don't expect the best (which I think tends to be a "myth of normalcy"). Everyone is fucked up in their own special ways. It's just a question of how that will manifest over time. As a user here said, compatibility is, in part, whether your neuroses are compatible with theirs. tldr; I give most people a chance but don't expect perfection. Sometimes it's a "3 strikes you're out" thing. really depends on the person, the issues + whatever else is going on in m…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 10:40 PM
6

That's a good excuse to do a shit job. Remove the offending comments instead of censoring the whole post.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 10:07 PM
–

Women are convinced they are everywhere. Women also say things like "if you just want sex, just be honest, there are tons of women out there looking for the same thing". These women are probably referring to life for the very high SMV/RMV guy, but they think that's the average guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 04:24 PM
–

See, I think you're the one who's trippin and seeing a pick me behind every tree. Do I reject things I haven't seen? We do tend to, don't we. I'm guilty of that I'm sure, in some things. But I'm not convinced about this one. But like I mentioned, it could be the "pick mes" aren't picking me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 03:05 AM
–

You’re telling me this couldn’t possibly be real? I've never met one. I think I vaguely remember some women saying "I get along with guys more than girls" in the long ago times, but they've long since had that shamed out of them. There are TONS of pick-mes on this very sub. Really? You must be hella blue pilled if you think there's tons of pick mes here. It's only very recently that I've noticed women disagreeing with other women on this sub. About anything. There are tons of threads of people t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 12:38 AM
1

Sometimes it's a personality thing. You know it wouldn't work on that level. I will grant you that I do have some female friends that, if they said "gee I just wish I could have sex and I don't want to hook up with a stranger, would you be into that?", I would say, well sure, anything for a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 07:01 PM
2

Sometimes yes, but sometimes definitely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 05:46 PM
4

A little, but not as much as the male stereotype would have you believe. But all people are to some extent casting directors looking for others to star in leading roles in their lives. And when they see someone who seems "right out of central casting" for the lead romantic role, they find them attractive. Of course that can change; they can open their mouths and act like entitled jerks and instantly be demoted to supporting roles or cut altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 05:42 PM
1

I'm pretty skeptical too. Like if she overcame some initial mental block, that mental block is probably still there, it just was over-ridden or deactivated. Perhaps temporarily or just in some circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 05:17 PM
1

I agree with you. Many guys here have said "if she isn't into you pretty much from the start, she's never going to be that into you." I've found that to be true, however, I also have seen women change their minds for whatever reason - so many women say they are sapiosexuals or demisexual or whatever. I've seen women's attraction turn on a dime, usually for the worse (the ick!), but sometimes for the better. I don't know what happens, you just get reframed in a different light in her mind or some…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 05:07 PM
6

For fuck's sake, is there really such a thing as a "pick me!" woman? I have never seen one in my life. Maybe those women aren't picking me but I've never seen a woman so devoid of any sense of personal goals and boundaries, where as this sub seems to think they're everywhere. I live in extremely liberal feminist places though. Maybe you all are from podunk towns or conservative cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 04:57 PM
8

You're moving the goalposts constantly. the question isn't supposed to be limited to attractive women as you seem determined to make it. Yes, we all know attractive women can capitalize on various perks of being attractive. You've suddenly reduced the whole conversation, conveniently, to being about casual sex when NO ONE was talking about casual sex. What is your agenda here? Why do you keep changing the topic? The claim in this post is that average women can easily meet average men, who are de…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 04:49 PM
–

I sort of agree. The guys are ok, but I'm not feeling any tingles over here. I've only read 4 of them and they alll want to go on a date after a tiny amount of completely generic (tho polite) banter. But it's a little on the other party too to try and make the conversation more than "lite banter". But I guess the point is they aren't as awful as depicted typically.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 01:20 AM
–

Are there really a lot of people out there arguing that it's hard for attractive women to get dates with men online? The premise is that average women can date using apps successfully. And the response is always "yes but those men are all garbage".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 11:06 PM
1

I chose purple because if blue is the thesis and red is the antithesis, then purple is the synthesis. To my mind also, blue isn't "opposite of whatever red pill is". That's absurd. Red pill was a reaction to what were pre-existing blue pill beliefs. I also interpret them way beyond what the pill groups tend to. To the point that I would consider red pill a critique of whatever the prevailing unquestioned normative views are as it pertains to a almost anything related to dating, sex and relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 04:16 PM
4

Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 12:26 AM
2

I'd like to see it too. I think I recall some guy posting here a while back that they had tried it. Maybe he took over a female friends dating app profile ,, I don't remember. But he did say he got frustrated really fast with how difficult it was to deal with the rudeness and demands of the guys in volume, and the poor conversational skills. However, I recall thinking their approach wasn't very efficient. It seemed surprisingly clueless. And passive. They just waited for the guys to contact them…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 12:10 AM
1

It's complicated. Exceptions being if you are good looking and/or very extroverted. But otherwise, everyone is afraid of rejection. So no one communicates. Add to this that women are more afraid of men then they are of bears, and would therefor, reasonably (since many men do legitimately suck), prefer not to communicate with strange men. And this is not even getting into people's expectations. Not just for your looks, but for how masculine or feminine you are. Or your politics. Now, what kind of…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 04:07 PM
15

I think people in this thread mean "I'm super crushed out on this person" when they say "attracted to". Otherwise, yeah, I have some friends who happen to be attractive - am I supposed to dump them all?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 04:27 AM
5

it seems to have promise if your skill evolves before it gets found out that your not good. lol, yeah!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 05:50 PM
1

True that's why I mentioned feminism as a response to the historical stuff you mention. Feminism had other goals, of course, but part of it was a critique of having to play the stereotypical feminine role for male approval.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 05:13 PM
6

I agree with most of what you say. I don't really think there is a sustainable way to fake it. People always say this, but I think about 50% of the whole facade of maleness is fake, it's just that some men are more comfy playing the role than others. Also, contrary to this sub, I think it's possible to fake it because people are living about half in fantasy land. To give an example, I once fixed something that broke at work. Now everyone at work (I work mostly with women) thinks I'm a mechanical…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 05:01 PM
1

Mostly it's that, but there is other stuff too. Feminism. Men's gender roles. trad relationships vs other kinds. Whether women should go their own way. Whether men should. Is marriage feasible for most people anymore, etc., How true is the evo psyche narrative. Can women even love men at all or do men come in 3rd after children and pets and possibly some material considerations. Can men even love women at all or do men just want a glorified fwb. When does commitment happen and what should it loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:49 PM
9

So true. I had to brush away a little tear that rolled down my cheek as I read your beautiful prose. But, who wants to? Can you imagine telling women, "BE BETTER!!! IF MEN DON'T CHOOSE YOU IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAT COW LOSER!! WORK HARDER, BRUSH OFF THE CHEETO DUST AND MAYBE MEN WILL CHOOSE YOU!! AND THEN WHAT?! yOUL'LL \|wINNNN!!!!" Answer: no , you can't imagine doing that, because it is absurd. Feminism happened for a reason. Yet literally the only advice we have for guys is "you aren't perfe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:37 PM
–

Yes you do, because you are the only one objecting to it in this thread so far, and I've almost scrolled to the bottom of 300+ comments. Same with the "aLl mEn wAnT iS CaSuAl sEx!" sentiment.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 09:36 PM
1

There used to be some study that people kicked around that purportedly showed that men grade women's attractiveness on a bell curve while women graded men's attractiveness on an asymmetrical curve. I think it was from the OkCupid book, which has been to some extent discredited, but there may have been other studies that more or less confirmed that part of it. As a result, it used to be a regular thing here to get posts stated "But women just are more attractive than men", to explain the differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 05:25 PM
-2

What are we doing with the expectations? L-o-w-e-r-i-n-g them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 04:39 AM
2

It's not just that. In fact, he really didn't go that hard into boundaries. That would be another topic, which could be interesting. Here he's taking a pessimistic viewpoint about the possibility of finding a suitable mate. Regardless of your boundaries. And not because of the choice of mates only, but because of something about the tenor of the times.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 04:38 AM
2

Or at those places. If I go to Walmart, it's during the day during the week and not during rush hour. Maybe the other half of the couple is at work, but it's mostly individuals there at those times.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 11:48 PM
1

I'm not sure what you mean by "got fixated on maleness". If you are saying calling women females should not be offensive, I kind of would agree. If someone is saying "males do this that etc" I couldn't care less. I don't see it as dehumanizing personally. I see worse here on the daily. But that's how many, particularly women, see it. That's what my comment was about, the use of "females" as a noun when talking about women, with the use of "men" as the collective noun when talking about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 11:03 PM
3

Yeah there was a post very tepidly criticizing blue pill this a.m. and it's been nuked by the mods I guess, but stuff like this is A-ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 07:51 PM
2

Dude what? Why do you insist on being the example of sexist masculinity that all women are going to point to and say "see?"?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 04:41 PM
9

I find much of eve psyche to actually be untrue, all moral considerations aside. And that's because as a science it's largely conjectural. You might have a fetish for a boot if certain events happen to you at just the right impressionable age. It's interesting how people refuse to think they are impressionable, or that they could ever be influenced by propaganda, advertising, cultural mores, peer pressure, the values of others, etc. Those things only affect other people, not us.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 09:50 PM
3

I won't hold my breath while I search for remotely comparable statements from women on here. Those are definitely horrendous, I will agree with you there. Women's negative comments usually aren't so blatantly ridiculous and awful. But they are pretty close. They will run the gamut of gender stereotyping, including, but not limited to, portraying men as soulless automatons only seeking sex, incapable of higher emotions ("those are just code words for sex", etc) If you've never seen a woman do tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 12:32 AM
2

I don't have anything bookmarked. And I limit my time here so I'm not going to pore over old threads. If you don't see it in a month there are 2 options; I'm mistaken, or you don't notice it due to your own bias. Truth, as is so often the case, is probably somewhere in the middle.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 10:40 PM
2

Those things aren't all limited to work, there's definitely some boundary blurring.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 10:36 PM
–

Tend to agree. The unrestrained glee/disgust mixture that women express here at the suffering of loser men is striking. It's not without its reasons, as women can always point out how they have been harassed by men from early on til menopause hits. And that's definitely bad, but doesn't change the fact that many of them take pleasure that borders on the erotic in other's suffering.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 09:05 PM
3

Yeah wtf? Hostile Work Environment for $100. Sexual harrassment for $200. #believewomen for $300 Creepy Guy (there is no "creepy woman") for $400, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:28 PM
7

Good for your mom. I've had my enthusiasm for the crushed on person dampened when I found out they got with someone else, but I never considered them 'dead to me' or something. I had no claim on them (beyond friendship, and even that vaguely) except in my own fantasy land (which is a place to visit, not reside in).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 05:52 PM
40

They aren't in contradiction so both things can be true. Men can find a higher percentage of women attractive AND men can overlook some flaws because they realize they aren't likely to find someone perfect. Saying men "have low standards" is kind of a weird way of framing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 06:47 PM
1

SMV: 4.5 in winter 5.5 towards the end of the summer. RMV: I think this is even more subjective, isn't it? It depends on the chemistry or whatever you'd call it. Money might be a factor. I can't afford to do all the traveling, say, that it seems like people want to do. But I can do some (on a smaller scale).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 05:39 PM
43

You have to find that magical "social circle" everyone keeps yapping about. Social proof is a helluva thing. Unless you have the kind of looks (or, yes bloops, sparkling personality) that people can project their stuff positively towards, you're going to be regarded as a nonentity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 03:08 AM
34

good job reddit
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 02:33 AM
2

Bigger the better and even then social circles have a life span. I think the biggest social circles I've had were partially either school mates or co-workers mixed with actual friends. For instance, you may have heard that food service industry workers tend to be "incestuous" (meaning there's a lot of dating with coworkers). And as others have pointed out, it's not like normal dating. It's socializing in groups until you hit it off with someone, generally with the idea that it will be a somewhat…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 09:39 PM
3

One can tell you've never had a female cat in heat. You're trying to talk about biology, but your understanding of it is childlike at best. The point is kind of moot though since we are different from animals in so many ways (women being sexually receptive despite where they are in their reproductive cycle being just one). It is a good question though: why is women's sexuality portrayed in the manner that you see? Even the most liberal feminist spaces will frown on a woman declaring her sexualit…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 05:43 PM
6

Yeah if your social network isn't introducing you to anyone new it's hard to insert yourself in another social network.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 12:29 AM
2

There are definitely some dedicated boner assassins.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 08:00 PM
1

Fair question. My guess; there's something compelling about both novelty and the moving image. After looking at the same mag 10x the novelty probably faded. Not a prob today. But there's also something more powerful about video and how ubiquitous it is now. Why are people habituated to their phones now, we had magazines (words and pictures) back in the 80s. Yet you can't deny people are a little over attached to their phones.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 05:14 PM
1

Things were different in the old days. There wasn't social media telling you you should be happy every single moment and living your best life every single day. Like my old relatives were perfectly content (as far as I know) having factory jobs and raising a family in a small suburban house. There wasn't much dreamt about beyond that. For people nowadays that kind of job and life would be stifling boredom. People seemed more complacent about their place in the hierarchy back then if they could h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 03:56 AM
1

You haven't really made much of an argument for the obsolescence of men. SMBC might be more of a trend in the future, perhaps. But men will presumably still be around doing whatever. What will be interesting is if, via technology, women get to choose the sex of their baby in the future. Would they choose girls predominantly? Will women outnumber men significantly in the future?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 05:53 PM
1

It's not that cut and dried. The erotic bleeds over into everything else. At least at first. The level of intimacy w/ a romantic partner is greater than normal friendship. I'd like to have a FWB but never have. I don't think it's as much of an option for average guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 05:44 PM
1

I'd be curious to know what you think makes her the way she is. I'm going to guess that past experiences shaped her worldview. What made/makes her so exceptional.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 01:11 AM
1

I have no problem with them, but I guess the same thing could occur, so I"d say; if a woman can orgasm w/o a vibrator, be wary of vibrators and use them very sparingly. But I've heard that it isn't totally uncommon for a woman to need a vibrator in order to orgasm, and if that is the case I'd have no problem with it. Let them watch porn and use their vibrator together.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 11:05 PM
5

Men approach, women are passive. That's the law. The law of nature. And that's according to Blue Pill AND Red Pill. If a man can't perform in this manner, he is regarded (particularly by women) as severely socially incompetent, borderline unable to function as a human being. No such onus falls upon women in this regard. That's evidence of "... women being, men doing" There is also a dynamic in relationships where both partners get bored of their routine eventually, but again the onus for putting…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 05:41 PM
1

I'm not so sure. Look at all the niche subcultures there are in a western city. People usually aren't born into those, or whatever other kinds of cults or belief systems they fall into. Religious people sometimes lose their religion (famously happens when they attend college), or non religious people get converted, etc. People change occasionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 12:10 AM
1

On the other hand tho, she chose you out of the billions of other people on the planet.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 10:58 PM
16

I disagree to some degree. Habituation to that kind of stimulation.. makes one habituated to that kind of stimulation. It's classical conditioning: stimulus=orgasm. Take away the stimulus and there may be problems achieving the orgasm w/o it. One main function of porn is getting one out of one's own head. Porn viewers aren't worried about "am I doing it right? Do I look ok? Is she bored? Does she think this is gross?" etc. Something that takes away all those pressures AND delivers the stimulus t…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 08:16 PM
1

I think it will be interesting to see going forward. My tinfoil hat theory is that the population has grown to such an extent (or, resources have been depleted, or otherwise made scarce, naturally or by hoarding/design), that the urge to reproduce has had the wind taken out of its sails. Reproduce.... for what? "What kind of world are kids entering? What impact on the environment? Why be married to a man or woman when marriage seems destined to fail?" Etc. The whole "women are happier single" tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:58 PM
-3

observe which comments in this thread get the most downvotes. It's a pretty good metaphor for the question as a whole. Anyone saying "be careful about expressing vulnerability" is expressing vulnerability. The reaction? First, notice the ridicule and lack of ability to empathize. The ick is strong and the bloops are hammering that downvote arrow. downvoters: your ignorance is more stunning than your hypocrisy. It's so pure, it''s almost kind of childlike and beautiful. But please don't go on abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:41 PM
3

When i say guys here aren't properly socialised, it's an understatement. Agree, but I say the same about women. Women are better socialized within their in-group of other women. Not so when men are in the picture. Then they are as clueless as the men are. Maybe more so since they don't know that they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:36 PM
-1

Also watch how they treat other people. Remember, you're not the exception. I'm not sure if this is accurate. Sure, if she's awful to others, that's obviously a bad sign. But even if she identifies as gender bending queer, it's still possible that you are the exception: you are supposed to be 'the guy', with all the ideal qualities the ideal guy (in her mind) has.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:31 PM
–

I disagree with most of your points (for example, are women really so attracted to "stemlords" that this is an actual problem?), but someone else posted the sentiment in your headline and I had to admit, as a late blooming man, it felt true. It was more to do with FOMO and continually feeling like you are trying to make up for lost time. Which are not good characteristics for a long term partner. Personally I probably have to recuse myself because I've never wanted marriage, and though I value m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 06:00 PM
–

Concur. sounds like OP and her partner are there for the kid, so marriage is not an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 08:26 PM
3

All of the very worst ideas of all time were put forward by someone who believed in them. Not to mention the very worst crimes. edit to quote Bukowski; “The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 05:11 PM
–

Does it get results?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 05:10 PM
1

I'd lean toward A, reason being women are attracted to masculinity. Woman A will have a more flexible idea of who fits that role than woman B who will be focused on the top % of guys. Also, I don't find confidence attractive because the biggest jerks, and the most Dunning Kruger affected people I know are the most confident people I know. I totally don't get why people even like it. If someone doesn't have some self deprecating humor, at least sometime, I think they are boring, and possibly a ps…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 05:05 PM
2

Don't know any off hand. Men are usually portrayed as heroes or antiheroes (or they're NPCs). They are either rigidly moral or immoral, etc. Usually pretty black and white portrayals. If you gave a male character actual human complexity, they might not be as compelling. Probably there are shows that have done it and I'm not thinking of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 11:10 PM
1

That many attractive women think men are born confident or aggressive is the exception rather than the rule. disagree completely here. Women who don't think those traits are innately male would be the exception, which you see here all the time; if a man is not confident women regard him as socially defective, probably severely so.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 11:03 PM
1

That's pretty impressive as far as results go. Always been curious about hypnotism, but never knew exactly what to ask for.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 10:56 PM
2

I think you reduced guy's concerns to wanting to participate in an imagined hook up culture and whining about feeling blocked from that. There are some guys here who do fit that description, but in the 'what are you looking for?' threads most guys claim they want some sort of deeper connection (tho sex is always a feature), and are frustrated with their inability to make any progress towards that.. Hypnotherapy actually sounds cool! So you think the hypnotherapist made you more confident about y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 07:50 PM
1

TRP has the potential to be more radical because it's critiques can logically extend to the fabric of society (namely, marriage, and the prospects of having a successful one for men). This despite traditional conservatives being strongly associated with TRP. FDS has some radical potential too (do not acquiesce to men .. except in very rare circumstances), but seems ultimately materialistic and actually quite traditional in terms of it's concepts of what a relationship is or should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 04:56 PM
1

Somewhere in the middle is fine. I can't blame women for being seduced by good looking men who have charming personalities from the start. Occasionally. At some point early on though she should be asking herself if the guy has the ability to be monogamous or if he's a good looking or gregarious man-whore (to use a vulgar term). Having made a few mistakes like that is different from deliberately seeking hook ups though. The idea of hook ups turns me off a little because I desire a lot of emotiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 04:45 PM
–

Option 2 is absurd. If she hates you, she isn't going to give you "the hottest sex of your life". She's going to give you, optimistically, the most mediocre sex of your life is the more realistic scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 04:29 PM
27

I agree here. Women are increasingly saying they are happy being single if they can't get the exact relationships they want. Men have to figure out how to be the same way. Women seem to claim that their social support groups, of other women primarily, allow them to be content and feel like their social needs (friendship, love, companionship, belonging and being valued) are met. Men are going to have to figure out how to emulate that on a larger scale (some do already).
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 10:30 PM
–

It just means I am going to have to put myself out there and deal with rejection. Ok, I agree it takes effort and self improvement, but you know that's more than "opening the front door".
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 06:51 PM
–

Do I need to provide the specific muscle movements for your robot brain to understand? I love these examples of blue pill "charm". The level of condescension and pretension that drips from you reveals your advice to be pure horseshit. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have to be dickhead* in order to try and be convincing. It would sell itself. I'm not red pill by any means, but I find the blue pill takes here equally as vapid, but with an extra twist of haughty obliviousness. Everyone takes a shower a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 06:28 PM
–

Transportation is an issue if you plan on drinking also. I like drinking. But it's spendy and I live in a neighborhood where the dive bars are actual dive bars. There's no hipsters slumming it there for the ambiance or charm.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 06:17 PM
–

You mean "Open the front door"? Dude, that's not all it takes. C'mon.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 05:47 PM
–

Drink a lot. Spend money. Become an alcoholic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 05:46 PM
–

Pick mes don't exist outside of the framework of PPd's fetid imagination.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 04:54 PM
–

Pick mes are the unicorns of PPD
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 04:38 PM
3

You cite an exceptional circumstance; war. I agree with you that men are totally fucked over in that circumstance. You also dismiss an exceptional circumstance; the volume of sexual threats that women experience routinely. This is unique to women. Women are smaller and raised, rightly or wrongly, to be in constant fear of men. Then when they come of age, they are bombarded with sexual attention, lots of it very negative. It creates a culture of fear, which is reinforced by just enough psycho men…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 04:26 PM
1

That's because you don't worry about your safety to the extent that women do. Should you worry about it more? OP says yes, and lots of guys will cite stats that men are victims of crime more often, but for some reason men's safety isn't made an issue as much as women's is. Then you get into the weeds of "do men take more risks", "do men escalate more", etc. But relational needs should be an entirely different issue. It's apples and oranges.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 04:08 PM
6

Sure, but the comparison OP is making isn't a good one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 09:44 PM
22

Safety needs are on the base level of the needs hierarchy. Relational needs are higher up. To try to equalize them like "if you want to feel safe, I should get to feel loved" isn't an equivalent. To say "I feel unsafe but I get over it" as a male is to not address why women feel unsafe. For women there are a wider set of circumstances under which they might feel unsafe; situations can play out in different ways and more varied circumstances than typically they might for a man. Men aren't typical…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 09:06 PM
13

Chemistry means different things to different people. Attraction to some, personality match ( "do we laugh at the same stuff?") to others, intellectual compatibility ("do we like to think about the same stuff?"), sexual compatibility to others. Depends on which we are talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 05:01 PM
2

This pretty much mirrors my experience and thoughts exactly as a guy. If that area of compatibility is off, it may be an easy fix in rare cases, but the odds are that it won't be.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 04:56 PM
3

my dad said he had a similar experience with women Unusual convo to have with your dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/24 04:41 PM
5

Women want to be feminine - but we live in a world where they’re taught that in order to push themselves forward they have to reject it Not exactly sure about this part. I'm not sure how much of trad femininity women covet vs how much they would reject if given the chance. It depends on the details; everyone is going to read that and have a different idea of what being feminine means. I think lesbian communities show a mix, but with a pronounced lean towards non traditional femininity. But I agr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 06:53 PM
5

It's a great question. I'd like to gather some ideas (probably from other subs) and see what I really think about it. Right now I think it's about equal parts bio and social. The problem here is capitalism tries to sell everything with sex, by creating the feeling that you aren't good enough, sex is the answer, and their product is the way to get it. The bio urge is strong, but I also think society grooms it. It makes men and women feel like they aren't complete or lovable unless they have a par…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/24 03:43 PM
1

Um, yeah? If you are the marrying kind then you want someone else on the same page. Personally, I'm not looking to marry so I'd be fine if a woman said she wasn't looking to merge lives completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 11:59 PM
1

Oh sure, I'm aware that folks still do it. Some happily. Some get divorced. Some trudge on. I think marriage makes more sense for some folks than others. Good for them. I don't think it's for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 06:35 PM
19

For men like me marriage isn't really in the cards. When you are an average looking person with the standard passel of neuroses that come with being an average working class person in my country, you aren't going to meet someone who is a super well adjusted "soul mate". Marriage is at least somewhat predicated on the myth of truly exceptional compatibility ("we get each other" we complete each other" and so forth). To paraphrase someone in this sub (I forget who); what you are hoping for is some…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 05:03 PM
1

Did you happen to read this Slate article? https://slate.com/technology/2024/05/ivf-daughters-toxic-masculinity-sex-selection.html
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 03:00 PM
2

I think a lot of men have the experience that the effort it would take to improve ourselves to the point that our partner is still as attracted and interested as when we first met is the exact same effort it would take to be able to easily find a better partner. This is one of those things where guys get all the criticism for not keeping it fresh and interesting for the woman, so she checks out. But the reason he isn't putting in effort to keep it fun is because he isn't getting enough, or any, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 10:41 PM
1

The fact that nobody else picked up on that line from OP is kinda gross. It just wasn't misandrist enough, had to get a little more putative manipulation in there to put it over. I agree with you. As an average person I have dated average women, and none of us believe in ourselves 100%. It's nice to have compliments mean something.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:29 PM
2

Every women I know that wants a committed relationship (which is pretty much all of them) has one, So why do women here constantly deny that dating is easy for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:09 PM
1

The young women I know are either happily paired with decent guys or happily (very intentionally) single. Then why do women complain so often that they don't have it easier with dating, that it's really really hard for them too? You make it sound as easy as falling off a log.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 05:07 PM
0

What would motivate any woman to want a relationship with a man who FOCUSES on the fact that she's "not attractive"? So who is this strawman that we're blue pill concern trolling about? Here's a tip for blue pill pearl clutchers: teach women to be assertive and take control of all facets of their romantic life; not to be passive, waiting for whatever comes along, being traditional and gender conforming. If you actually give a fuck. But you won't, because you don't, though you like to appear as t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 02:38 PM
6

So is "pick me" just a woman who doesn't loathe men?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 03:17 AM
3

that's a different kind of introspection
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 08:39 PM
1

yeah but won't there be too much variety in women's answers as a group for it to be meaningful? I guess it would be good for a study; you could get some interesting data perhaps, but it would only be one question, per OP, so it would have to be a good one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 06:14 PM
1

What would the difference be, question-wise?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 04:59 PM
1

In detail (like as if it were a job description), what are you looking for in a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 04:58 PM
–

Go get that bag, girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 04:16 AM
20

Then the bear should pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 01:12 AM
1

Are all the guys who care about this from some ultra conservative culture? what is the problem? It comes off as hella insecure. "SHE HAD A DICK BEFORE OMIGAW! I'll never compare! I"ve lost before I've begun!" Talk about defeatist. I'm not even that good at sex and I'd probably prefer someone horny enough to have experimented a little (assuming we are, say, post college age). If we're a good match, it'll work.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 04:43 AM
2

I feel bad about both of the virginities I took Do they feel bad about it? I'd wager not. As long as you didn't deceive them in some manner they were probably relieved to feel initiated into the mystery of adulthood, or whatever else one might call it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 04:28 AM
2

That would explain some things, but I don't believe that it's that high a number. There might be a few. Every once in a while a post gets made by a "guy" that has all the fairy tale masculine tropes that women typically believe, but it's rare. I'd guess the opposite is more common, where a guy posts that his (probably hypothetical) "female friends" were saying (fill in male stereotypes about women here) and he was verklempt about it. Not that women don't write out weird made up bullshit too, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 02:41 PM
2

That's like saying "where are normie expectations spelled out and agree upon?" They aren't but that doesn't mean they don't exist. Same thing with anything "normative". Gender expectations: there isn't a bible that lists the 10 commandments of gender roles (tho sociologists probably have their descriptions). But to claim that therefor they don't exist would be disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 02:27 PM
–

I've had a few lovers. They've all be very different in terms of things they liked and were good at (or, things we did well together). I would say some were better at some things, but none were better at everything. But even then, I never pine for the one that was the best at something unless I've been alone for months on end. Never when I'm with someone, because presumably we work together on some level and have found our own thing. I imagine women are probably similarly flexible, but I could b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 06:32 PM
–

Because women assume that men's dating experience must be similar to their own. Fortifying this belief are the successful guys that naturally catch their attention. Those guys have no problem, by their own admission they are swimming in female attention. Therefor, something must seriously be wrong with a guy who gets no dates or attention. This is why you always hear women say "if you want casual sex, just say so, there are plenty of women into that". For perhaps an Apex Fallacy's worth of men t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 06:00 PM
7

True enough - their "ideal" may not mean "the only woman I'll consider". But there are still a large amount of guys who are hypercritical of women's looks here, even though the mantra is "guys aren't that picky or unreasonable".
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 05:10 AM
3

Not so much where I am. People here had a crisis when there was a shortage of kale, no lie. Most people who are under 40 here are not exceedingly overweight. I think a small percentage of very heavy people can skew the averages.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 05:08 AM
11

I used to think it was true, but being in this sub a while, occasionally someone will post asking men what "their type" is, requesting pic examples if possible. And then the guys post women with anime-like proportions as their ideal, and will call perfectly normal, attractive looking women fat or homely. So I'm in the camp that a good percentage of dudes and women are in a delusional romantic fantasyland. Probably about an equal percentage of both. Argument to the contrary is that many more "ave…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 03:38 AM
–

I agree but I also think that many women have an unrealistic fantasy about masculinity. Sometimes that fantasy is for the worse and women will view all men as literal monsters held barely in check by the thinnest veneer of civilization. But for others, the romantic fantasy is of a literal prince charming projected from fairy tale to stranger with an attractive enough face (golden halo) to fill the role. Faith in "intuition" leads to never questioning when the intuition is a positive romantic one…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:27 PM
7

I don't think who approaches is really the crux of this. It's completely irrelevant. When you meet a person, it doesn't matter who says "hi" first. Assigning meaning to who says hi first is one of the more bizarre things people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:11 PM
10

Isn't it possible to show interest in someone, without allowing them to (immediately) take advantage of you? One of the more infuriating things about this topic is the assumption that a woman's indication of interest = sex. Like her introductory move is to put his hand down her pants or something. You're just trying to get to know a person to see if there's any fit. It doesn't matter who initiates. It's bizarre how people hamster wheel their way into rationalizing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:02 PM
6

And of the guys (except for one) I were honest with, they took advantage of the fact an attractive woman was into them, and ended up using and discarding me. This "guys who don't approach are actually more evil than players, therefor women CAN"T be honest and should never approach" narrative is one of the most unadulterated sexist platitudes that blue pill pushes. MEN, PERFORM YOUR ASSIGNED GENDER ROLE! WOMEN, SHUT UP OR BE USED LIKE SAD SLUTS! It's interesting in 1) how antifeminist* blue pill …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 04:50 PM
3

I like pancakes. But I also like eggs. People can like lots of different things equally well, with one not ruling out the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 11:26 PM
1

I appreciate that you kept it positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 12:01 AM
21

I don't get how you're supposed to emit some kind of confident aura from what you've mentioned. I think most people do that more or less, and no one notices or cares because that's more or less normal life. Very seldom have I heard someone say "wow, look at that average guy, just going about his business, living life. So hot."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 09:31 PM
1

Are you correlating ugliness with the propensity to cheat?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 06:53 PM
2

I've never been in that position of thinking my partner is so much less attractive than me that it would make me feel embarrassed if they cheated on me (or tried to and failed). I've been cheated on, but not under those circumstances. The reaction of feeling embarrassed strikes me as an odd one, like a little too condescending maybe, but like I said, I haven't been there exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 03:48 PM
7

Women here have attested when this topic has come up, which it has at least a few times, that dating the reject guy was always a mistake; he was if anything worse than Chad. So, since all men apparently suck, you might as well date the good looking guy (if you are going to date at all). That's the moral of that story. A modern fairy tale? At least 3 or 4 women have expressed that (or could it have been the same woman 4x? I didn't keep track but I think they were different). In contrast, I don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 04:20 AM
2

Sure, but you aren't always going to find that perfect match. So what and how much are you willing to compromise is the question. Get out your spreadsheets cause it's time to do a risk/rewards qualitative and quantitative analysis. Or you can just keep track in your head whether the pain is outweighing the happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 04:10 AM
1

You just justified every woman cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:13 PM
2

My initial reaction to this type of post is that it has to be a strawman, but then there are enough guys in the comments who reinforce all the main points.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:11 PM
2

ha that was great. Poor Tom hit the milk bottles pretty hard there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:09 PM
2

That's perhaps a good explanation. I was wondering if it was because some of these guys are from extremely conservative countries which proscribe (or so I'm told) more behaviors for women than they do for men. But I also think there are a fair number of people who just need a "one theory to explain it all" (for example, the evolutionary psychology fans in the sub who can't accept any ideas from sociology), maybe particularly when they are younger. And so some naive young men may latch onto the e…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:01 PM
1

This sub suddenly achieved enlightenment! Good job OP. Although in the back of my mind I'm not sure if I'm ready to believe the blue pill gym bros (for example) really have moved completely beyond gender roles. It's nice that women seem to feel less pressure to perform femininity. In this thread. In other threads they talk about how much work they put into looking feminine and how it's required for any degree of success in dating, work or life. And it is also nice that all the dudes "don't even …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 05:44 PM
2

My childhood friends who were raised as strict Catholics are the biggest atheists now. The kids who didn't have to go to church tend to be agnostic.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 02:00 PM
1

It's something I've heard various places. I haven't read anything in depth but a quick google reveals some stories that seem to suggest there might be something to it (some quotes below). I'm sure there's plenty of exceptions - perhaps so many exceptions that this is just one more gender stereotype. But there seems to be plenty of search results suggesting it's a thing. "In terms of police performance, female officers are less likely to use force or excessive force (Hoffman & Hickey, 2005; Rabe-…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 07:34 PM
–

Depends on context. I've used it in the following way - I think women often expect men to make social advances women are unable or unwilling to make themselves, and then call the men socially retarded when those men don't perform as desired, and come up with myriad excuses about why women can't possibly do it themselves. I've also used it when women say men get lazy in relationships. I think women have a part to play in that as well. The fact is, both parties take each other for granted and ceas…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 02:56 PM
0

Red Pill; taking over where feminism left off.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 02:49 PM
–

Maybe if there was some context that you ripped this idea out of it would be easier to figure out what you're talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 02:37 PM
4

There's a reason women cops are often considered better at de-escalating; because when it's a guy cop trying to diffuse a situation with some aggro guy it tends to become some macho contest of wills that can escalate quickly. And it's not just because men are boneheads, you can see plenty of women in this thread shaming men for not wanting to fight. Men are expected to keep face, or whatever it's called.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 06:51 PM
4

Doesn't really work like that for men. Women, feel free to downvote all you want, but a guy can't say "I'd like a relationship if it works on all levels, but if not, then no, I don't want a relationship". No woman can deal with the truth on that level: even tho women will do the same thing, they just won't conceptualize it in that way. You can't predict the future. caveat; I'm not a casual sex guy, like some other guys have said in this thread, a one night stand is just a relationship that didn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 06:47 PM
1

People (particularly men) are worse at just hanging out casually these days. This is part of the appeal of sports. I went to a sports bar to see the local college team play and there was an instant comradery and easy socializing. True, not genuine friendship, but better than nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 05:18 PM
2

You wouldn't need to ghost if you were just clear about your intentions. Women always say this but it isn't reality. This is like wanting a contract up front before anything happens. You don't really know if you want to be in a relationship with a person until you've spent time with them, and that often will include some kind of sex. And women "pump and dump" by these criteria often enough as well. Women can decide after having sex "ah, maybe this isn't what I want after all", not just men. Sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 05:02 PM
3

I can empathize with women about the harassment part. Men can be horrid. A female friend of mine had some creep threaten her from a car in a drive by sort of situation while she was just walking around the neighborhood. It was just some creepy incel-type "getting even with women" or some fucked up shit. Nothing came of it, he just sped off. He just wanted to frighten a woman. So fuck that 1000x.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 04:38 AM
1

While I do wonder if all women have the supportive social networks that women on PPD seem to suggest they have, I would definitely say women are more supportive of each other in general. For one thing, they have an eternal scapegoat to band together against in solidarity: men. They will always have that in common and will support each other on some level accordingly (with some outlying exceptions of course).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 05:59 PM
–

Men shouldn't obsess over it, or insist that there is no subjectivity at any level to dating, but some evaluation is kinda unavoidable when you see one guy have zero problems dating and another struggle mightily. Men just seem more prone to assigning numbers to things and plotting them on a graph.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 05:55 PM
2

FWB can be pretty monogamous. Actually that's kinda the point Agreed. Not sure why so many people don't accept that idea. having a safe reliable partner is a HUGE benefit of a FWB. It's a large part of what makes it desirable. What are the alternatives? LARPing a traditional relationship? Hooking up with randos? Fuck both of those. It would have to be discussed and agreed upon, rather than assumed, sure. But to agree to have a FWB that you are monogamous with (acknowledging that it may end if on…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:26 PM
1

I tend to agree with you about posturing, because blue pill is a lot about posturing. I'd say propaganda is crucial to blue pill outlooks. However, I don't think the quoted material you cite is a good example of that. People seem pretty measured there and responses don't break down along "pill" lines at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:05 PM
1

I would want a relationship, but good sex would be one of the criteria I used to determine that it was a good relationship. So there might be some experimentation until that level of compatibility were found.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 01:13 AM
2

Again, the problem is meeting people and getting to know them to even see if you have compatibility with any of them. That is the sum of the issue. Actually getting to know their personality, if you will. This sub always leaps to "ok we met, now we're insta-married, when are the kids coming?" Given that - the actual reality of the situation - I would reframe your question as "I will give anybody a chance, and get to know them a little" and that isn't necessarily a bad thing in principle. However…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 07:49 PM
0

Yup. Sounds cynical. We live in cynical times. Those guys are just a means to an end for women. Always? Maybe not. Often? Maybe so.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 07:27 PM
–

Dude obviously. I don't assume most men are insane. Bears on the other hand, I don't know about.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 06:21 PM
1

Not unreasonable, but men should understand they are the beta bucks in this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 04:56 PM
–

She's pretty abrasive and hypercritical habitually. No reason to think that abrasiveness wouldn't be turned on you (the potential suitor) at some point in the not too distant future.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 03:03 AM
–

Are you trying to say "no man will have her" as if this were some irony on the part of the universe? ' cause I'm pretty sure plenty of guys would date her, at least give her a chance. Probably plenty of guys here would. I would. She looks fine. That voice though. I haven't seen her in forever and I don't want to now or Youtube will keep spoon feeding me her videos for days and I don't need that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 03:00 AM
1

It's mostly attitudes about men, like that men should "just know" stuff that women are unable to communicate, and if they don't they "lack social skills", or that "real men love the chase", or "men can't appreciate anything that comes easy" (are we all masochists?), etc. That and fake nails. It's not so much an "ick" it's just a pretty sure sign we aren't going to be compatible. Same with breast augmentation, but if that's your thing more power to you. People who are so into politics that they v…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 03:24 PM
6

I'm not into the whole age gap thing reddit is obsessed with, but I will say a 30 year old isn't that much more sophisticated than, say, a 24 year old (someone who's at least had a chance to be an adult for a while). They have more experience, but that wisdom can be imparted in the duration of a car ride. It's not some ineffable other state of being. With exceptions - a very young person could be obsessed with pop culture that an older person couldn't relate to, for instance. But barring that, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 03:08 PM
1

You're fantasy here doesn't address any actual issue, tho it is a nice Twilight Zone style fantasy. What should be easier in the real world is meeting people and getting to know them a little, to see if there might be any actual compatibility there. You seem to be asking the question as if that was some alternative vision that men desire. That isn't true. A bettor's chance, once in a while, is fine. As far as your fantasy scenario goes, it isn't ethical if you're making women fall for you, and y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 04:10 AM
8

I don't think marriage is the cure for what ails young men. That's like thinking having a baby will save a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 12:43 AM
10

I don't agree with your analysis that marrying young was the answer. You're viewing the past with rose tinted glasses. Maybe if you go several generations back, men and women felt fulfilled in their roles as breadwinner and mostly-stay-at-home wife. It does seem like Ma and Pa felt more fulfilled working on the family farm, with extended family in the home. But it's hard to say if that was really true or if it's largely nostalgia. But - it wasn't long until that vision/ideal of the single income…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 12:05 AM
–

This isn't a reference to sex acts. It's about communicating, including giving positive feedback.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 09:33 PM
2

It disservices women to say they shouldn't learn basic social skills or exercise their own agency. Blue pill woman: "I can't talk to men or I'll be seen as a degenerate whore." Literally. Every time. Also the gender essentialist "men don't like getting hit on". Don't you get tired of people telling men what they should or shouldn't like? Are you some sort of extremist feminist ? Shhhh. That's our secret.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 05:26 PM
1

I'm glad we're having some chuckles! Seriously tho, I'm starting to believe blue pill is radically sexist and weirdly militant about it. Everything you wrote is pretty much in the trad camp.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 05:00 PM
1

One possible reason: men don't have as many alternatives as far as social networks goes. To "go their own way" would mean heading into the garage to take up woodworking or something equally isolationist. Not many men are willing to withdraw completely from society and unfortunately dating and relationships seems to often be their primary interface with others. Or at least it's the one interaction that they are told is meaningful.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 04:55 PM
–

Doing nice things for your girl and making her feel loved is unsustainable? That isn't what "the chase" is. It's having to constantly entertain her. Ironically it's the emotional labor of having to initiate everything all the time, and be able to read her mind when it comes to virtually everything, from the first approach to what she likes in bed, to where she wants to go out to eat or whatever, without reciprocation. Women think men are just "confident" and don't need affection, compliments, or…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 04:11 PM
6

All of those "reasons" are unadulterated sexist horseshit though. I mean like the pure gold of mindless stereotyping. (Is that blue pill in a nut shell?)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 03:54 PM
2

A better economy would also help a lot of this. Women could afford to have more space to themselves in bigger houses, hire more household help, and have more time for cultivating hobbies and friendships than just scrubbing dishes or pushing their kid in a stroller through Target. ... I imagined a system where we could have optional high quality childcare for everyone (stay at home moms and working moms.) I could imagine due to better mental health, and more time to themselves, it'd help with a h…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 06:59 PM
–

I think a lot has to do with the "meaning" thing. There isn't a whole lot that feels meaningful to do. Relationships are sort of the holy grail in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 05:34 PM
2

Thank you. I get reasons once in a while, like; puppies, kittens, friends, pizza, etc. All very sensible. Occasionally someone sends a pun like "an area to live" or "a recent olive"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:23 PM
3

If women feel that's the best option, by all means go for it. However... I also think dating is an adult skill that isn't really that hard to master (that is, if anyone is interested in dating you in the first place). It's really just the process of getting to know someone as a person. For all the times women say "try treating women as people!", guess what? In this particular case, when you're pointing at someone, there's 3 fingers pointing back at you. The mythologizing (and "othering") starts …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:13 PM
2

I'm fine, thanks. It's just a conversational type of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:00 PM
3

It's somewhat the opposite. Someone liking you for who you are is what they call "the spark" or chemistry or whatnot. They are just seeing you in your best light and interpreting you in a favorable way. That is what actually inspires you to embody more authentically the good qualities they see in you. (of course, part of the mutuality of this is that you see them as brilliant and excellent judges of character, which gives you more confidence in yourself to achieve those qualities.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 02:31 PM
1

Actually a pretty good question. I think it has something to do with transparency, and what one could reasonably expect in a given circumstance. But; we don't explicitly lay out our expectations verbally at the start of every encounter. So the transparency would involve something like, what is it that is reasonable to expect in this situation? People hooking up at a club don't have much expectation of one another. They are perhaps mutually objectifying each other in OP's sense. I guess anything …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 06:30 PM
2

We are objects, but we are objects with subjectivity. The objection to objectification is when it does not properly regard the other's subjectivity (their wants, purpose, feels, etc). It's using the other as a means to an end without proper regard for their own agenda. It's a misalignment of purposes. I agree with you that objectification is part of sex, sometimes in unconscious ways, sometimes in deliberate ways. That can be fine as long as both people are on the same page about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 04:32 AM
2

...if the relationship ends then that person is extremely vulnerable and their issues rise again. The relationship was just a band aid over the bigger issue. True but maybe unavoidable. How are you going to dodge heartbreak at some point? I think you just have to go through it, realize that it isn't the end of the world, that it's actually for the best if you weren't really meant to be with that person longer than you were, etc, etc. There's no way to learn that except by experience. Or at least…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 10:26 PM
2

Is knowledge that "a lot of it is out of my hands" liberating? How so? It's generally better to be better informed. Take divorce stats as just one example. IT's probably better to be aware that sometime marriages end. And why they end. So you're not 100% "I didn't see it coming!" if it does happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 05:08 PM
4

The whole "don't think about it and it will magically happen!" thing never worked for me in the area of romance. When I was in the best shape of my life I didn't worry about meeting anyone, I just assumed eventually everything would work out. You know what happened? Nothing. It was only years later, years of being celibate in my 20's, that I realized I'm not one of those people for whom "things just happen". If it's going to happen, it's up to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 04:43 PM
2

Does that even make sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 04:20 PM
3

I prefer relationships and find that sex is way better in relationships. So much better that there's no comparison. I've had a few rare ONS, mostly because it takes me years in between relationships. So I guess I'm not "against" them, I just don't find them to be that great usually. I'm not "traditional" tho. I wouldn't mind an affectionate FWB but that seems like even less of an option for me than relationships or casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 04:19 PM
–

There's plenty of blue pill "Chads" or retired Chads here. Kind of a lot actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 08:10 PM
–

If she came to me for advice I'd ask her what she wants exactly; if she could have any kind of relationship what would be her ideal. You make it sound like she has no concept of how people relate to one another. The inexperience wouldn't be a red flag to me, because I don't want to marry or have kids or even live with a partner (except on a limited basis like if we moved somewhere temporarily for some reason, etc). It would probably be a red flag to very traditional men. The Red Flag; I noticed …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 05:25 PM
2

You're welcome! I appreciate your level-headedness. That qualifies for wisdom around these parts.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 02:26 AM
12

But why do you assume that just because you are being rejected at all levels, the average woman isn’t being rejected far more often after the initial stages of dating? Because even tho it's a pain, if I meet enough people I will eventually click with someone. The percentages are low but not nil. Sometimes you can even tell there is some chemistry online. But most people are like bad comics trying to get off one-liners, rather than patiently building a conversation that goes somewhere. But for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 01:29 AM
7

It can get tricky, sure. But check out this woman's post. She's using the privilege she has in a good way and isn't constantly crashing and burning; https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bzts7k/comment/kysmsw1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 10:12 PM
0

There is no real evidence which would even hint that the "unfuckable" ones have in any way worse personalities than the sex having ones. Where does this myth come from? There is evidence in the form of women's first hand experience with both attractive and unattractive men. Women often say they have dated both and find unattractive men to have worse personalities. I've seen women state that in this sub numerous times (.. it could be the same woman posting it over and over I suppose, but no woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 03:43 PM
20

If you're somewhat average looking/status, stop being an excuse maker you do get your opportunities now ask yourself why it never lands and ill give you a hit, it's more likely to come from the common denominator that everyone else. Do you give this same advice to women who complain about dating and/or want to give up dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 03:23 PM
17

I don't blame anyone for being non responsive because, there's debate in good faith, and then there's pointlessly arguing with someone on the internet. If I had endless amounts of time to answer every sea lioning question and include every caveat as a footnote or parenthetical, then maybe. But I don't want to read too many essays here, and try not to write them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 02:59 PM
1

Right. I'm not really talking about the OPs write up about 'dying alone' and whatnot. The question I was asking is, are women who are encouraged to check out of dating happy doing so? Assuming they aren't aromantic asexuals, most people want some sort of romantic life, presumably. Why are people so eager for women to give up? Especially when the corresponding advice to men is "you have to recreate your entire body and personality". Why the disparity in advice? Are these women going to reach old …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 02:09 AM
1

Yes, we know it is of paramount importance that women 1) fuck men 2) be hot while doing so. All other desires, like enjoying life or doing what they want, are invalid I hope you're doing everything you can to save women. Your caring really shines through.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 04:35 PM
8

Not sure about that. Middle age men are pretty much the gold standard for creepiness. Cougars are thought to be kinda hot sometimes. Or at least looked upon favorably as trying to make up for time lost in their first marriages.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 04:13 AM
1

You're creating a strawman. No one here is saying women should become financially dependent on men. I'm not even saying they should marry them. If you notice my flair, I'm a marriage skeptic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 06:59 PM
3

Dang, very good points. I was delusional about some things when I was young. I wish someone could have talked to me then and pointed out a few things, like the fact that I wasn't making enough effort to make things good (in one relationship in particular), but just thinking they should naturally automatically be that way if we were "meant to be" or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 06:41 PM
11

All reasons are invalid, but only for women Where you see this, I see the complete opposite. Women are perhaps TOO easily encouraged to stay home with a tub of ice cream and a vibrator for the rest of their lives. The male incel crowd is told they need to improve, recreate, reinvent themselves constantly. The corresponding message to women is " oh well you tried, but it's absolutely nothing you did, all your social messaging was, by nature of your gender, beyond any criticism, etc" In fact, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 05:03 PM
0

Yay, blue pill circle jerk is go! To answer the question; of course not. To put it internet simple; nobody should do anything they don't want to do. However, the OP is a bit of a strawman. The larger issue is, do people have unrealistic expectations about the other gender and dating, romance, sex, etc? "People" includes men and women. Can we say men sometimes have unrealistic expectations? Yes, we can. Because that isnt a politically incorrect thing to say. Men are hella delusional and unrealist…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 04:55 PM
1

I don't know how we could ever have a conversation because you literally hallucinated all of that. I mentioned none of the things you wrote about in my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:48 AM
10

Your response is so common sense that it's freakish in this environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 11:06 PM
–

Your "defeatism" is another person's realism. If you're sort of a mid guy, once you're done with college, it starts to get pretty wild out there. The people at the other end of the bar have been holding down that bar stool longer than they probably should. I doubt you'll find people who don't have some problems. As far as only shooting for looks, I think most average guys are going to be content with their looksmatch. It's not like their holding out for attractive (and damaged) people. But on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:43 PM
3

I’m 28F and I don’t have trouble finding quality guys - but I would guess my idea of “quality” might differ from a lot of women’s expectations I’m seeing in modern dating. You make it sound simple. Do you mind if I ask how you meet these guys? And how plentiful are they, really - could it be possible you were just fortunate/lucky?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:26 PM
-1

Do you think they have? Do you think some women give up preemptively, without trying? Do some women have unrealistic expectations for what's supposed to happen in any or all stages of dating? Or, if something went wrong and they fear repeating that experience, do you think they feel helpless to repeat that negative experience? Should they feel helpless?* Compulsive gamers; that's an analogy for wasting your youth. I didn't say women are lazy teenager gamers, I said they are *like* compulsively l…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 08:18 PM
1

That's a good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 07:55 PM
0

So you're upset that I think opting out is often a bad decision because it isn't something you think people should put some thought into? Most gamers are male as far as I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 07:53 PM
0

Is a romantic relationship successful only when it ends in death of either partner? First read that as "a romantic relationship is successful only when it kills one of the partners..." I'm not the settling down kind, so for me it's about having a friend for life (hopefully) and riding the white hot romantic part out while it lasts. That involves creating memorable experiences and stuff like that. I also am a believer that there is a therapeutic aspect and having an intimate relationship can help…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 07:43 PM
-4

Because, women, you have the decision making power and ability right now to seize life by the horns. You can literally do anything you want. You can explore your wildest fantasies if you want to. But your response to infinite possibility is like that of a lazy teenager who only wants to play video games all day, day in and day out, year after year.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 03:46 PM
11

I'm not convinced that "the female gaze" necessarily precludes objectification. that bit of gender essentialism seems born out of stereotypes like "women only get off on relationships, therefor objectification is always anti-feminist". It's an attempt to define (read: police) women's sexuality, but from a more "politically correct" angle. But look at women's fantasies. Often there's some objectification involved. And probably in part because it is so taboo for women to think about that still, be…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 06:26 PM
6

Or gay porn lol. This, but unironically. I think this explains why so many women say they like gay porn; it's objectification w/o being anti-feminist.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 04:09 PM
1

Objectification is not about how hot someone is, it is about their attractiveness or sexual instrumentation being the primary factor. I would shift the emphasis slightly and say that objectification is becoming incarnated; literally born again in the body, in opposition (or at least complimentary) to the egoic every day persona.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 03:55 PM
1

I'm not sure if it really looks the same. Bad guys are usually doing hypermasculine stereotypical stuff. When women act the same way, it is more obvious that something unusual is going on. She's not conforming to a feminine stereotype. For the guy it's not like "woah, she's so dreamy, I'm swept off my feet, etc". It's more like, "ok this might end poorly but lets see what happens". The women who are actually toxic for men are going to be putting guys down, are hella sexist in general, and will t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 03:43 AM
2

Would profess to actually going to kill me if I cheated or just in general Well, that's over the line. I was going to say, I can relate to some degree, because the "crazy" person was the only one who was willing to talk to me. And there was no pretense like "I can fix her" or anything like that. Even w/o much life experience I knew the wheels would fall off and there would be drama. But as my mom used to say, "What else would you be doing?" There were zero choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 03:27 AM
2

The world population was 2.5 billion in 1950. We are supposed to keep growing til we peak at over 10 billion around 2080. Population growth has been out of control and severely irresponsible. It's literally lead to the world we have now which is basically a distorted pyramid scheme where we have to exploit each other socially and economically, because every other resource (food water land timber minerals, etc) has been monopolized or exploited/depleted/fouled. That system is not sustainable, as …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 03:34 PM
2

wtf? edit; if I had nearly unlimited resources I'd be willing to sponsor an adult through her second childhood, but it would have to resources enough to keep things exciting because, just like you wanted to leave your parents when you reached adulthood, she will want to leave you when things become static.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 02:53 AM
0

I can't even imagine one actually existing. Yes, women will crush out on certain guys weirdly. But no, women don't have much empathy for men in general, especially post feminism. It isn't because women are narcissistic, it's because women can only conceive of men as having much greater freedom relative to women. Thus any problem a man has is his own fault because he has total agency. You see it all the time on this sub. The "pick me" may exist somewhere but is, practically speaking, a unicorn.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 01:03 AM
-1

Where are all these "pick me's"? where are these people posting about them living, in some regressive country that hasn't heard of feminism?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 12:59 AM
0

I don't know any in person - like literally never met one - and think anyone on YouTube is larping.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 07:52 PM
2

Maybe not the type to turn heads everywhere she goes but I thought she was cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 04:39 PM
4

Never mind the insulting nature of suggesting grown adult men are incapable of differentiating politeness for genuine interest That one is sorta true tho. The default reaction from women is either being ignored or actively avoided, or interacted with with distaste and displeasure. To get a compliment from a woman is a highly unusual occurrence. It's understandable if a guy would mistake that for flirting. Especially when you hear women discuss what signals of interest they think they are giving …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 03:58 PM
3

One explanation, but not the only one. Though admittedly, it could be a significant one! Especially for the fellas, it seems. But, having moved around a lot since high school, I have realized that it takes work to maintain friendship and keep in contact with old friends and even with family. When I lived near my family, I didn't care so much and took them for granted, When I moved across the country I missed them and wanted to stay in touch. With exes there are mixed motives for sure, and sex is…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 06:58 PM
1

It’s not the romantic version you’re making it out to be. It’s just horny. Over simplistic. Some cases yes, some cases no. I'd like to reconnect with old friends of every type. I've reconnected with relatives over the years. I would reconnect with a few exes; with some sex would be a main draw, but I'd reconnect even if sex weren't on the table because exes are exes for a reason: and that doesn't mean what you think it means. It means you were together with them once for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 06:29 PM
1

Conservative women have incredibly rigid views on masculinity so I have no appeal to them, Liberal women are also critical of masculinity but in a different way, so I often fall short with them as well, though coming from the other side of the equation. Hard to find that masculinity sweet spot. That said, I only attract liberal women. Could be my area. Personally I'd like a woman who is liberal but doesn't make the party line and all it's talking points her entire identity and doesn't have knee …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 05:07 PM
2

What you often hear is that the guy became boring. He stopped putting in effort and the thing died on the vine. In that case, there's not much to be nostalgic about since you don't see how it would be better in any way a second time around.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 04:26 AM
-1

Sex is how we connect, it can be a pretty deep for us. I agree. I too wonder why women aren't more sentimental about it, since they keep saying they are so demisexual by nature, especially when contrasting their highly spiritually evolved selves with base icky men. There is a sexual aspect to love for men because it's one of the few times men can feel love; when words are consistent with and backed up by actions. Otherwise men tend to feel like NPCs in the lives of women. I mean, I can see why t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 02:35 AM
1

All the answers given have their validity in certain cases, but it's interesting that I think I've only seen one person disagree with the premise (that women move on quicker and/or with more finality).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 12:54 AM
2

Yeah I agree, it's totally on guys to reform what "being a man" is to other men, and it should be more in line with inclusion, like "we're all here trying to figure out life together" kind of a thing. Women may not be quick to embrace men who are non-conforming, but that doesn't mean men have to reject those men too. That completes the isolation circle. As to who will lead the way, it's probably gay and bi men who are visible and say "we're men too deal with it you stodgy fuckers"; and the men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 06:05 PM
8

I don't think either group is the problem per se. We are free to be whatever we want and have whatever kind of relationships we want: as long as we can meet someone compatible who shares that same vision and those same values. But somehow it's become extremely difficult to meet those people we would be compatible with. As an old song goes; "if I could meet em I could get em, but as yet I haven't met em" In general, I think men are in a worse place in terms of having to conform to gender stereoty…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 03:26 PM
4

realistically, a small percentage of adults in the US are still single I disagree with literally everything. There's plenty of people who struggle with dating, men and women, and they aren't all social rejects, contrary to the Blue Pill narrative that is so over simplified it's a distortion of reality. "How Many People Are Single? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 47% of the U.S. population (just over 117 million people) are currently single. 2023 data from Pew Research Center finds th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 03:11 PM
3

When I say "best match", what I mean is a baseline level of compatibility (ie, that we actually like each other), not metaphysical levels of compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 11:20 PM
8

In my late twenties I realized bars aren't that fun anymore. Plus, the women who would be the best match for me aren't hanging out at bars and clubs, except perhaps once in a blue moon. But haunting bars in hopes you'll meet that person becomes pathetic after a while. Even then; it's good advice, but not everyone lives in a hipster neighborhood with nice bars (the kind women like). Add in Uber and the price of drinks these days and it becomes prohibitive economically, and again, just sort of rid…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 10:57 PM
1

Yeah kind of. Say, by your mid 30's, it's probably not going to be uncommon for the female partner of a couple to have had more experience than the male. Not more partners necessarily, but more experience total, which includes time in a relationship (that presumably was worth being in). So if all romantic possibilities (dates, relationships, casual, fwb, etc) required a time sheet, she probably would have clocked in more hours total. Unless she's shy or a recluse. There are a substantial number …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 05:37 PM
2

In "Theory of the Leisure Class" I think they outline the idea that this kind of dress is supposed to signal that "I do no manual labor" in our unofficial caste system.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 05:26 PM
5

Maybe there is some kind of secret male beauty police that fines a woman who didn't wash her hair that day or wore the wrong colour combination Guys in general aren't the fashion police. It's a common meme where I live that women are continually amazed that they get hit on by men at the laundromat, in their sweat pants, w/o their hair done, etc. Which is bizarre when you think about it. So that is either self-imposed (that women can't possibly look good unless they are made up, dressed up, etc),…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 05:04 PM
3

It makes no sense to me either. It's like guys made up "she's forcing me to slap myself in the face with a fish" zone and then started claiming it's an epidemic. The evaluation and decision making power regarding whether to stay or to go are entirely yours at all times. She has literally zero power over you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 05:14 PM
1

FOMO is hard to avoid. It's kind of what capitalism is built on. All of us have been saturated in advertising, telling us what we should be and what it takes to be a worthwhile person, since birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/24 05:59 PM
2

Isn't there some sort of probability theory about this? It goes something like; if you have 100 options, date 35 randomly. then select the next one who is better than those previous 35 and stop. (I probably got the math all wrong, going from hazy memory, so double check before you do this)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/24 11:01 PM
1

Does that make sense? Totally! I don't even recommend people live together unless they are compatible in the domestic realm, which is its own distinct aspect of compatibility. It's hard enough to find compatibility in personality, living together seems like pushing your luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:00 PM
1

Everything you mentioned. I would examine how men relate to one another and maybe compare it to how women relate to one another. It's not that women are best buds with each other all the time, but they are more casually inclusive, whereas with men there seems to be a frisson of tension present, perhaps because men are trained to always be competing, and one aspect of competition can be sabotage, exploiting another's weakness, and so on. But I'd also ask if women are that happy being single. I kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:42 PM
3

Women can have a Madonna/Whore complex as well. You often hear women say they were less inhibited having sex with men they didn't care about than when having sex with men they did care about, because they didn't want to be seen "that way" by men they thought they cared about.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:30 PM
1

I'm guilty too, I must confess; I stretch the definition of both pills to include my own interpretations, which can get pretty abstract.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:26 PM
1

nor is it clear that TRP hates women. TRP is pretty much anything anyone says it is at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 06:10 PM
3

I think I understand what you are getting at. It's an existentialist point of view; life is what you make it, and you are responsible for what you make it (responsible for your own choices). Therefor you have to choose things which make life meaningful for you. No one else can give that to you. I agree to a point, however, I think it is difficult these days because so much is changing and uprooted. It's hard to feel part of a community, for example, or you may move far away from friends and fami…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:42 PM
2

Depends on how things are going. simple but effective test; ask yourself "am I happy?" If so, ask yourself "do I want to fuck that up for some reason?" and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:30 PM
11

There seems to be less fomo for women than there is for guys these days. There''s more messaging like "it'll come together when it's supposed to, or it won't, either way it's all good" aimed at women. Messaging aimed at men seems more fatalistic; "work on yourself and you ~may~ be worthy someday... but maybe not hard to say"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:54 PM
4

Pretty hard, but it's not a dealbreaker to me. Where I live it's polarized by politics with little to no center ground. They demonize each other pretty hard. People tend to be pretty passionately blue pill here as well. People here tend to think anyone who doesn't agree with them 100% is either stupid or evil or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 04:33 AM
4

standards I have for a woman: go the gym regularly (3-4x a week,) Too much. eat a reasonably healthy diet Underrated. be the "primary" person in charge of household duties (I'm totally fine sharing the responsibility of cooking and cleaning to some degree but I want women to take the lead,) Of all the fantasies you could have you pick this one. Not going to happen bub, unless "taking the lead" means you want her to tell you what to do and when to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 05:23 PM
2

Good for your sister. Do you think she is common? She's happy w/o sex or romantic love? If so, men should aspire to be more like that, perhaps. Unless she is aromantic &/0r asexual. That's sort of cheating. Perhaps men should aspire to more like that too. PS, happy people don't downvote.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 12:47 AM
-1

Because they've never met a woman who genuinely is happy with just cats and wine, and it sounds cope. No man or woman is an island. Now, if the woman says she has tons of friends and family so she's not lonely, that's another story. It's plausible she doesn't miss men. But even then it sounds a little like their trying to overcompensate for their failures with.. not toxic positivity, but overdoing the optimism maybe. And the women who hate men don't really count in this conversation because obvi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 10:39 PM
2

So much so that an entire movement had to be born to pushback against the pressure being put on women. That was 60 years ago. Even to this day, there is a high amount of expectation put on us in terms of appearance, being accommodating to men, be sexual but not too sexual, conform to traditional gender roles but also don’t encroach on men’s finances, being womanly and feminine, not competing with men, being sure not to emasculate men, etcetera etcetera disagree. Unless you are shooting for some …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 04:58 PM
2

Finally doing your own house chores is no type of revolution lol Yeah I think OP should have focused on emotional dependency, or changing concepts of what makes life meaningful, not "technological" aspects like dishwashers.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 04:16 PM
-1

Can you tell me why men will be less needed but women won't? At some future point it will be about your social credit score. Sorry men, you lose that one every time given popularity, sociability, and crime stats.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 04:07 PM
1

Most men aren't really loved, ever. They are supposed to find that from their wives in a domestic partnership. That's the way society has been structured and it adheres stubbornly to those ideas. The result is supposed to be men super invested in domestic partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 06:51 PM
2

In my uber liberal city it is kinda trendy for bi women to constantly emphasize how enlightened and wonderfully queer they are, how awesome women are, how lame straight men are, etc. They aren't trying to deceive anyone, they consider that they are just being "out" rather than silent. And it's hard to argue with their point that visibility leads to acceptance, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 04:36 AM
–

my point was even in established long-term relationships I think it's something women don't think to express There's this idea that men are either supposed to be so confident they don't need positive feedback, or that it's just not something they care about for whatever other reasons. There was some pop-psychology book that said "it takes 7 compliments to balance out for every 1 negative criticism" in a relationship. It sounds excessive and maybe a little corny but I think it's not far off. It's…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 05:21 PM
14

I agree that it happens to women too, but then why do you never seem to see them complaining about it? You do see tons of posts online where women are trying to decipher a two word text from a guy they like as if it's an Egyptian hieroglyphic. Rather than make a move themselves they try to read the tea leaves to see if the guy is interested. I'm a pretty mid guy but even I think I've confused a couple of co-workers in the past because I really like them and love interacting with them at work, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 05:00 PM
1

I guess it's worth getting it checked. I had mine checked and it's on the high side of the normal range (it's a pretty wide range). Not really solving any of my problems, in fact, if I had less, sometimes I wonder if that might solve more of my problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 08:42 PM
2

I think therapy has potential but I'm not sure if the style of therapy that guys need is readily available.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 08:40 PM
1

For some people relationships get more interesting when there is trust built up over time with another person. They feel they can be more genuinely themselves, and even make attempts to be the best version of themselves. My analogy is this - you know how people can have a bad experience and the trauma becomes anchored in their psyche, so that it's ready to re-emerge if triggered? Or maybe it's always present underneath everything, even when things are going well it's still humming away somewhere…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 03:19 AM
3

That's how it tends to be, but I'm not sure if one can rely on feeling a "spark" or whatnot anymore. I'm not sure what you're supposed to feel anymore so unless I get a visceral negative reaction to something they say I give em a chance. There are only a handful a year tops anyway. Would be none if I were truly picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 06:31 PM
5

I mean try to only swipe on profiles you feel a connection with beyond beauty. There's no there there. I decided I'd only write to people if their profile made me smile or think. That's setting the bar way too high. Most profiles aim to be generic and have no personality. Literally, the "i like to travel and eat food" kind is about 90+%
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 05:27 PM
2

Standards have to be questioned because everything has to be questioned. All the beliefs you hold but never think about (and that's a lot) are probably just something somebody told you when you were small. Or ideas you consumed along the way from media or peers. the problem with getting your standards from random cultural sources is that your "standard" will inevitably include stereotypes. Sometimes so much so that what you expect of the other person is more like a cartoon than a human being. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 05:11 PM
1

Yeah what happened to the ideal of inclusion? Seems a lot of people are as concerned with exclusion and figuring out differences rather than commonalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 05:03 PM
2

For the life of me I cannot comprehend why "the friendzone" is an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:54 AM
2

IF you find a niche that you fit into, go for it. But some people don't fit neatly into any one box/subculture (hence purple pill, right?). Personally, I'm too boring for the kinky/punkish art crowd, and too weird for the perfectly normal crowd, but I share some qualities of each. So there's no one team I can join there. It's like being "spiritual" rather than subscribing to any one religion. Now that may be a lot of guys' problem, but I'd wager there are plenty of women like that too. The key g…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:43 AM
2

That's how it was in school. More or less a continuum that would look like a bell curve if mapped out. And you're right, the experience of one group of "average" guys (usually the more extroverted + luck) could be very different from another group of "average" guys (usually the ones who are more shy, less outgoing, tho not necessarily socially incompetent).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 07:10 PM
0

When someone has replaced you instantly? I think you need to let go. EDIT: hey I thought we didn't downvote in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:34 PM
9

I know the ex isnt thinking at all about me which makes it so much worse. You literally couldn't know this. When she's in another relationship less than two weeks later it's safe to assume it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:13 PM
5

especially if the other party is still actively trying their best to improve and maintain the relationship Are they tho? Most of the time when I see relationships end they just coast to a stop because neither party is putting enough effort in. There are exceptions of course, but that's how it ends most of the time for people who aren't married or living together.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:10 PM
10

Women get bored and check out, become lazy, take their partner for granted, as much as men do but scapegoating the guy is more common for some reason. I think it's forbidden for women to just say "i'm bored" in a relationship because women are supposed to be the masters of domestic emotional regulation. It's unfeminine in a stereotypical way that women still lean into. So it has to be his fault somehow instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:04 PM
2

Basically if personality matters so much, and I'm socializing, why would I fail? Because you can be attractive and have a good personality but still not have enough in common with another person. It's chemistry, to which you might say "oh, that's magical romantic thinking" or something, but you actually do understand the concept; otherwise you would expect that if you were decently attractive and had a good personality you would be a good match with literally every other person on earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 04:55 PM
3

I suspect that that user is so misandrist that they consider sending unsolicited dick pics to be normal behavior for men, and they are shocked to hear otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 02:53 PM
15

Pretty much this exactly. No prob being friends, but relationships are so rare that that is usually at the forefront of your mind. At least the question "what potential does this have?" is.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 02:40 PM
12

I get a handful of dates a year from OLD but it's two people with nothing in common "just giving it a chance". It doesn't go anywhere. So both.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 02:55 AM
9

Women usually check out of relationships months in advance Shouldn't the guys have picked up on that at some point though? Most of the time when I've observed relationships end it seems that both parties slowly cease putting effort in. Women often have opportunities elsewhere that may make them look more critically at what they currently have, and that in turn causes them to slowly disengage more or first - that may be true. But I think the guys have also had relationship fatigue at that point a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 05:28 PM
0

Because straight men are demonized and seen as literal monsters. People here are saying "because gay men aren't threatening", which is another, nicer, way of saying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:52 PM
1

A woman poster here wrote that she values a single compliment from another woman more than 100 compliments from men because she feels the male compliments are all manipulative bullshit. So a lot of women might seem more aloof because of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:55 PM
15

It's that men have been told how women are these holistically concerned, deep feeling sapio-sexuals, or demi sexuals, but in reality they are ... are you ready for the irony? Just people, lol, who, like most people, are easily seduced by pretty people who are funny and entertaining. Most guys recognize they would do the same thing if the tables were turned and they had attractive, funny, women flirting with them constantly. Or semi-regularly. Or on occasion. And then they would think, "this is t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:15 PM
0

Because, while it may not apply when you are under 25 (who is concerned about the future then?), once you hit, perhaps, 30? ---Time becomes of the essence. And I don't mean for breeding (tho for that, sure), I mean just for finding someone who is truly a good match for you. Just for being able to experience love and relationship - even if it's not perfect (which it likely won't be) - in your lifetime. the window slowly begins to close and before you know it slams shut. tldr; life is short, in fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 05:58 PM
1

Yes. I realize from being on Reddit that AI isn't a threat because AI will always be stupid. Because people are stupid. It will never be able to "think" because people are not able to think, they just recite. Of course, people are intelligent at fixed problem solving. We can do heart surgery and launch rockets. We are good at things that are 100% hard data. Not so good at things that involve interpretation and assigning meaning. At that we are even sub-childlike. Even children will question thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 05:29 PM
2

The missing dimension is time. If you say "how many are single right now" it should be approx. equal. If you ask "How many dates or relationships have you had in the last 10 years, there will start to be more variation. Same if you ask "how many of you are actively dating?"; you will generate lots of variation there. The moral of the story? If you want to get certain results, ask questions tailored to generate those results.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 08:53 PM
9

Not a lie per se, but a transitory psychosis. The Greeks considered there were many kinds of love, and if all goes well romantic love will transition into one of the other, more stable, kinds. Note: not to say romantic love is a bad thing even if transitory. It's the stuff of poems, dreams, great art, etc. And I think has a place in spiritual life because it can be a useful experience to love someone --- unless you are so delusional that you are harming yourself or others. And that could be wher…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:31 PM
0

1st of all, I've been on OkCupid for years and there is no bigger bullshit site on the internet. They manipulate their data and user's experience w/o disclosing what they are doing routinely and as a matter of company policy. I'll have to look up an actual critical review of dataclysm, but I recall some of the manipulation includes showing attractive younger women's profiles to men despite the age parameters the man has set, and forcing them to rate the profiles with a star rating system before …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 05:10 PM
0

Common sense tells us that women are more socially aware, Possibly. I might grant you this one. have better social skills When it comes to dealing with other women, or in some other situations, perhaps. When it comes to dealing with dating and men, absolutely not. Women's social skills might possibly even be worse. But they aren't called upon to do the initiating that men do. Women's communication skills are at best absolutely minimal in the area of dating, at least at the outset. But even in re…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 12:37 AM
1

That's probably a good idea. I've lived together with a bunch of roommates and had it work out, but then we treated things like chores in a very businesslike fashion which might seem odd in a personal relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 01:18 AM
1

I don't subscribe to the theory, though I agree that first loves are intense because everything is experienced for the first time. So I think men seek to reproduce the emotional highs with another partner; and that is entirely possible to do. Loving another person isn't terribly exclusive to just one person in the entire universe. You might be prone to doing things that worked in the 1st relationship w/o realizing they may not work in the 2nd. So it's a bit of a bummer when you discover the amou…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:30 PM
–

Why does feminism exist? Is it a super baffling mystery? Is it just making simple things complicated? It exists because some people found the status quo to be worth examining, questioning, and changing. RP, while perhaps not quite as noble, continues that fine tradition. It's the motto of this sub, even.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:22 PM
9

All I have to do is read about women complaining about men and chores to not want to live with a partner. Everywhere I've ever worked has one thing in common; everyone thinks they work harder than everybody else. Or if they work less, they think their work has more value for whatever reason. No need to live in that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 05:09 PM
–

Luck is preparation meeting opportunity. You have to have both in abundance if you have no strengths that are obvious at first glance.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 03:56 AM
2

Back in the day, there were also guys who never found anyone even when they wanted to. Interesting point. You wouldn't hear about them because no internet (or ppd)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 12:37 AM
1

You're a regular Dale Carnegie
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/24 05:07 PM
7

I can't imagine having your friend's problem because the simple fact is: either I enjoy this woman's company or I don't. From the woman's side, I think it's rather rare that women just to want a fuckboy experience; they want to date the guy, not just have sex with him, usually.. (I'm sure people will insist there are exceptions, but I haven't witnessed it so it remains a remote possibility of being a problem). If she dumps you, guess what, that's the experience of most people but w/o the success…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 11:41 PM
1

I'd be fine with it and wonder if it was something we could do together sometimes. Don't care about the category* because porn is fantasy and I'm not the thought police. *-within reason people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 06:06 PM
0

Both. Most guys understand that attractiveness is both highly subjective and ... more general.. and that those will vary. Guys vary often enough on who or what they find attractive (see milf porn, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:50 AM
4

That's actually a really good question.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 04:36 AM
3

this is more like "men want an actual maid"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 01:40 AM
6

I worked with an effeminate gay man who grew up in a rural logging town in the west, and he said it was hellish. Constant bullying and torment and actual physical fear of violence. The fear of not being masculine enough is put into boys early. Usually not to that extent, but still. But it depends on where you live; maybe your family and environment is more supportive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 11:34 PM
3

Yeah, those activities were good in their own right. I'm just tired of that sort of "seeking" now, so have to find another avenue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 11:27 PM
5

It's not always going to be a magic key though. I used to attend a lot of spiritual/philosophical type meet ups and book groups. I attended because I was interested in the topics. I never met anyone through them. I've met more people through roommates (used to live in houses with a ton of roommates) than social circles. But I have lots of tiny social circles rather than one big one, and friends rarely if ever mix them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 08:52 PM
1

I'm not sure any of us are actually authentic. We have to grow up and 'assume the role' in one way or another. Or, lets say that our authentic selves are what we freely choose to be. That still involves learning to play a role. Any sort of self improvement could be looked at as a 'fake it til you make it' situation. The analogy often used is learning a language or how to play an instrument. You obviously suck at it at first but then you get good and it becomes your second nature.* It's interesti…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 12:47 AM
1

When you are in school you have one big social circle, then there's a circle of common friends, but as you move through life it becomes more atomized until you have lots of tiny social circles that don't overlap. It's more rare these days to meet friends of friends. Or friends of friends of friends. I have one friend who occasionally has big parties, but even then it's the same people from college mainly, rarely anyone new.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 08:15 PM
1

BP folks are more invested in the game. It doesn't necessarily mean they are more successful at it. I think that is a reasonable guess, but not always true. To give an example, many blue pillers are very condescending and enjoy laughing at and ridiculing others. They proudly announce to everyone that is why they come here, and that it gives them pleasure. Sound plausible? Maybe. But I've noticed that people who are more secure about where they are in life don't need to prop themselves up by insu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 08:05 PM
2

I mean, isn't that correct for many? How many is many? Men run the gamut on this. There are some men who will fuck anything and others who are closer to being demisexual, and then there are times when desperation and testosterone could make the man who is closer to being demisexual fuck anything. tldr: most men won't "fuck anything", but there are two complicating factors, underrated: loneliness and desperation (like being celibate for years), overrated (but still a thing): testosterone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:29 PM
1

It's pretty easy, I'm not even that photogenic. Gotta disagree. I was on Fetlife for a while and I've seen many people's nudes, men and women's. Men have no monopoly on bad lighting, bad angles, bad backgrounds, etc, in their nude photos, women manage to take terrible photos, in terms of being less flattering than they could be, as well. Although I will grant you that women do seem to be better at take face pic selfies.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:20 PM
–

The people parroting this is insane. Maybe in high school. I avoided that problem by not dating in high school. Or maybe top .. like 5% of guys do that? Other men don't have the options to seek or switch out girlfriends as status markers. Men are just trying to find a girlfriend who is functional and a match who wants them. That's hard enough that it's like winning the lottery when you find one. It isn't about status. When men say it boosts their ego to be chosen by a woman, they don't mean in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 05:16 PM
–

Well - one could reasonably infer that "mass public consumption" meant "marketed towards a wide audience" rather than, say, a specific, perhaps very narrow, audience. But it seems to be an irrelevant distinction from your point of view anyway, so what's the difference. Carry on not looking at porn, justly proud citizen.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 05:09 AM
–

You did though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 04:54 AM
–

Yeah it's interesting that OP specified mass market porn rather than mom n' pop porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:48 AM
–

Men quietly (or maybe loudly) play a status game against other men around who is with the most exclusive catch of a woman. They want their friends to think their I don't find this to be the case at all. Where I'm from when a guy starts dating you hardly ever see him again because he's focused on her and they tend to do couple stuff rather than hang around in a group stuff. He's not showing off his woman or dating for status.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 01:46 AM
–

Men seem to want porn, but men don’t want the women in their lives doing porn. There's a difference between watching and doing. Those guys probably would like it if their girlfriends were into watching porn (tho of course the women would choose gay or lesbian porn probably ¯\_(ツ) Similarly, men seem to want NSA sex from women, but they don’t want the women in their lives participating in NSA sex. "Men seem to" if you focus on those men that do. And in that case I agree with you that those men sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 12:42 AM
3

She could, but if she has one/some/several she thinks is perfect Exactly. Easy to do a new one, not as easy to do a good one, unless the camera really loves you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 10:24 PM
11

Having come from the thread about logic, and having read many debates on this sub, I feel like men are capable of catastrophic failures in their attempts to find meaning in their lives by deploying (oftentimes faulty) logic. A therapist who could point out what kinds of thinking are unproductive, and what kinds are more suited to one's goals, could be invaluable to men. Just coming up with some sort of rudimentary, basic sense of identity helps with feelings of belonging, meaning , and self este…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 07:26 PM
–

There was another thread that talked about how women shouldn't be regarded as "rewards". And that's true, but it's an unintentional double entendre. Ideas like hypergamy, and some other RP ideas, are part of the process of dismantling the "women are wonderful" effect, or taking women down off the pedestal. This, perhaps ironically, is part of the much desired "treat women as people" process. Men are often regarded as human garbage, so welcome to the club, ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 06:21 PM
4

Once you say anything that serves your rationale is logical then anything is permitted. At that point lying, cheating and stealing are logical if they serve your end goal. What men are complaining about is that the reasoning used to justify things that affect men doesn't make sense to them. Perhaps because it's not laid out in its entirety. There's a cliche that women say "you should know what you did" for a reason. In fact, a lot of expectations of women on men are that they should "just know",…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 05:46 PM
1

It's a matter of degree. I know someone who married for money. The money can provide you with first rate experiences, and experiences, they say, are significant in terms of what people value at the end of their lives. Her quote was, "It's easy to feel like you love them when they are throwing $100 bills at you".
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 10:56 PM
1

Granted I was very overprotected and voted “most likely to befriend a serial killer” A couple of people in my group ended up being diagnosed sociopaths. That's a little higher than average, isn't it?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 10:48 PM
1

I have to agree. RP would probably say there are too many guys stuck in the "anger phase" when they find out that life isn't fair. But fairness is when everyone is free to do what they like, which may end up with some people being left out, and that's life. I think culture does influence taste and choice, so one can complain about that. But the main culprit here is that these guys somehow got the belief that life would be "fair", meaning, in this case, that everyone would have approximately the …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:29 PM
1

I agree. I don't blame guys for being frustrated, because life isn't fair, but they shouldn't consider women rewards. So the questions becomes, why do they think that? And how to stop it? Your complaint addresses the problem after it has already happened. How do you stop it at the beginning before it happens?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 06:29 PM
1

The point is this: women seek independence. That's good. Men should also. They do not. It's in fact discouraged. Men are actively shamed if they do. That's bad. And men and women suffer for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 12:36 AM
1

While that's true, I think there is more of an emphasis on independence than that captures. Take the hokey saying "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". It was popular at one time and does carry a popular sentiment; you don't need a man. Not only that, but as you point out, getting with a man is often going to be a bad deal for you. There is no corresponding messaging aimed toward men.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 12:00 AM
–

Yeah, but I don't think most people would agree that that messaging is given to women more so than to men. Basically women have a WGTOW-lite set of ideas that is promoted to them as, not just a viable option, but possibly a better option, at least in the west. AND, part of what reinforces it is an anti-male narrative. For men parallel messaging to that is looked at much more askance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 11:16 PM
–

What culture are boys brought up in that girls aren’t? Feminism has created a whole new set of messaging that applies to women only. Part of that is to be less dependent on men, and romantic relationships, for meaning. Or are you saying that the culture promotes maturity in girls and not in boys? I'm saying it promotes more independence in women, which could be viewed as a type of maturity if you think of self reliance, or finding meaning in one's community, family, etc, as more mature than tryi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 10:21 PM
–

Not be a good person? You're advice is be an whole? Bad advice. Nobody said that. My advice is to temper some of the unrealistic romantic myths that are directed towards men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 10:18 PM
–

Both things can be true. guys are immature, but that is a result of the messaging they get from the culture they grew up in. Culture is breaking down into an anarchic kind of freedom. It has become schizophrenic in its mixed messaging: "have it all, but don't be materialistic! Buy experiences, not things, but things will make you happy; you need others, but you need to love yourself first, Start a family but don't compromise your goals and dreams! Have a career, get married, get divorced, stay s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 06:09 PM
–

Thinking movies can give dating advice is something I expect a 10 year old to think. Media reflects the fantasies and values of a culture though. There are unrealistic messages for men and women, that both still consume uncritically and suffer from.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:48 PM
–

The trope of the manic pixie dream girl, who is going to somehow rescue the young man from his depressed state even though he lacks confidence, does exist. I couldn't tell you what movies or other media it's from, but I would still say that it's a common fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:42 PM
–

Guys have always known that the not so hot dorky guy isn't the one who gets the girl in the end. I'm not sure if they do know this. While I agree they aren't getting it from romcoms, at least not directly, there's definitely some perception amongst men that some woman will be attracted to him at some point if he tries to be a good person. That is an idea that is still pervasive and should probably be put to rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:38 PM
8

I’ve also never heard a woman say these words? Ever? It's not that uncommon for women here to say they gave the mid guy, or the less confident guy, a chance once and it was the worst, usually because of his insecurities.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 12:49 AM
2

It's much more common these days to see older women on dating apps saying "I get along better, have more in common (etc), with younger men". I get the impression that these women are having no problem finding what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 12:45 AM
4

So, you're like a rat in a cage, and sex it's like your tinny little wheel. Better than a rat in a cage w/o the wheel. Sex is one of those bizarre things that can be profoundly meaningful or insipidly vacuous, depending on so many things. I've seen mountains. I've swam in two oceans. I've had some (very) moderate success as an artist. I have a nice family whom I love. I look very much forward to seeing other mountains, hiking other deserts. But when I think back on life so far, a handful of sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 09:07 PM
9

If men came to this world just to fuck hot bitches why the hell we build rockets to travel to other planets? To see if there is bitches out there? That is hilarious! You motherfuckers think the best thing there is in life is fucking? Really? At a certain age, it is sort of a highlight of life, yes. Perhaps more so in the modern world, urban living where you are just a drone going back and forth to work and maybe have a hobby that you tepidly do on the weekends. I think because it's an easily acc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 07:05 PM
4

what's the #1 desired trait? Confidence. What do assholes mostly have in abundance? Confidence. It isn't that every confident person is an asshole. But there's probably considerable overlap, with various combinations of the two. That can be hard to sort out for a naive person who is used to thinking of confidence as a prerequisite for attractive masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 06:57 PM
–

I think it would be fascinating to be able to "converse" with something that has processed, say, tons of books of philosophy, if that's your thing. You could debate it about free will, or justice and law, etc. Have it teach you stuff. And then have it tell you how smart and cute you are after. It sounds like a net positive that would probably enhance people's self esteem more than whatever it is they are doing now, which in turn might help them interact more confidently in the real world (maybe?…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 06:44 PM
–

And if she sets a budget, he will be able to surprise her with gift shopping in the future! That's a little loopy, but I could see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 06:38 PM
1

Perhaps an honorary slut. But, like others, I don't see that as a bad thing, unless you have intrusive thoughts that are hard to resist of having sex with others while you are in a relationship. I haven't heard of "fantasy prone personality". I think I might have one, since I like fantasizing about different stuff just to exercise my imagination. But it isn't triggered by the sight of a person I find attractive. Unless it's someone I know a little and have a crush on. But not random attractive p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 06:13 PM
0

I agree that the BP sub is a reaction to RP, but I'm not talking about the BP sub. The reason the BP sub seems formless is because BP is just the popular zeitgeist. Nobody has to formulate it in any official way, it's just the accepted status quo. You (and many others) and I will disagree on this, but RP didn't just appear out of a vacuum. It appeared as a response to something. That something, the sum of those beliefs, is blue pill, and it's the stuff you will hear blue pill people defending it…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:34 AM
2

What is the MILF country?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 10:19 PM
2

Serious too soon, as in; purely based on fantasy rather than reality, is the only problem there.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 08:36 PM
2

Sorry, I meant that previous reply to be to the OP, but I mislocated it. I don't understand the argument OP is trying to make with "a 3rd party observer".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 06:20 PM
4

What if said party ultimately gains more than they lose by being treated as a means? If the other party benefits, and they agree that they have benefited (not sure why you are bringing a 3rd party witness in to decide whether or not they benefitted; they are quite capable of doing that themselves), then you have not treated them as a means. It has been a mutually beneficial relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 06:02 PM
2

The only consistent thing all BluePillers share is a derision of TRP. Disagree, this is just more white knighting. Protecting the world from that awful red pill. So brave. Red pill originated as a reaction to the blue pill status quo. Blue pill isn't a reaction to red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 05:47 PM
5

Do man date girl that he always find attractive 100%? I don’t think so For an average guy dating is more like "ok, there's no *serious* red flags, or if there are a few we'll cross those bridges when we come to them". It's not that there has to always be a "hell yes!" feeling, just not a "hell no!" feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 12:21 AM
1

That could be the case at times, not sure about always. You hear all kinds of back stories about how and why people got together in the first place. Sometimes I think they say it changed, but other times it seems like there wasn't a lot of heat there to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:28 PM
5

The problem for nice guys is that they were told women are nice by nature and that the world is fair. So you build the palace (which is your relatively pure, unblemished soul) and the princess will come, and you'll live happily ever after. The main anti narrative to this is the (subversive) red pill idea that women aren't princesses who are better looking (heretical in this sub), more pure, better socialized (same) and more compassionate than men. The idea shouldn't be that men shouldn't be nice…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 06:12 PM
2

I'm mostly shy and introverted with strangers, but I love parties, so shy or introverted people reject me from their clubs. In the wild, I can make a little chit chat but then I quickly move on unless someone does something to engage me, which they generally do not do. But at parties I can talk to anyone about anything because I feel like that's the tacit social agreement about going to parties. This isn't sufficient because people don't seem to have big parties anymore, it's just the same small…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:56 PM
2

Is that an actual problem for people in this sub? Your premise is about LTRs. Guys in this sub either can't get dates, or are so blue pilled they would never admit to any problems in their LTRs. If you look at Reddit at large, you will find plenty of examples of men and women withholding sex. You can say "no , they just don't desire sex", and that would be true, but that does not explain what is really happening. What makes it withholding is the reason they don't desire sex, which, namely, is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:44 PM
1

Pickmes, much like the fabled “bangmaid,” do not exist. Thanks, I was wondering where all these "pick me" women were at. I live in an extremely liberal part of the U.S., and I've never heard a woman "throw other women under the bus".. How would they even do that, metaphorically?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 01:45 AM
2

Concluding that no effort means he was not that into her. I think she put in next to no effort either. At least he was travelling to her. That shouldn't be taken for granted. He could have said "drive to my place. We're going to Ihop", but he drove and asked her if she knew a place she wanted to go. She said the first date was great, but this video is just her relentlessly, and somewhat gleefully, being negative about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 07:20 PM
4

he's coming to her, so it makes sense that he would ask her about places to go. She may actually know places around her, where he would have to look up Yelp reviews or something in order to choose a place. Him being late in setting a time does seem pretty lackadaisical though. She definitely shows abundance mentality ("you missed out lol!" or whatever), but neither seemed that terribly interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 06:06 PM
1

Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 05:48 PM
0

Red Pill isn't that introspective. It's more concerned with what it sees as female nature, and how to succeed in dealing with women. Doesn't spend as much time examining or propounding on male nature. There are people who are really into evolutionary psychology who attempt to explain male nature, under the guise of red pill, but the two are not the same. Unless there's some general consensus that red pill has evolved to be something different and more comprehensive, a modern red pill as opposed …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 05:28 PM
4

The efforts have to be effective. Is the guy actually interacting with new women in these social endeavors? Hobbies are great but they have to be ones that women actually engage in too. You mentioned online dating, that's fine to try, but most likely a long shot. Very possible he'll have to change his habits and go way out of his comfort zone in terms of how much socializing he does. And even then, no guarantees.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:31 AM
7

The name alone should tip you off that they aren't going to ever share results or design studies that don't support their causes, which are traditional and conservative.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 12:28 AM
1

Men and boys seem to not pick up on subtext and social cues the way girls and women do. I see this when not even thinking about dating or romantic relationships. How so? I notice when I'm in a crowded bar with a woman she can look at other people discretely, without being noticed, and it seems like whenever I look at someone they immediately notice. Not sure if that has anything to do with anything. I just read a Freud quote where he says to Carl Jung; "If a healthy man like you regards himself …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 11:52 PM
1

I was thinking Dating and relationships. When and how to approach is the obvious one. Basically all the things you read here often, like "being able to read the room" (short for "being able to read my mind"). But the stereotypes continue into relationships too. Men are often expected to just intuit what the woman wants without her having to communicate it directly. And there I'm referring to sex, but perhaps in other ways as well. There's also a catch 22 for men in that they are expected to "go …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 07:41 PM
1

Interesting. I see it as environment rather than biology. Women don't need to do the things they complain about men being "socially clueless" about. If they had to it would become clear that women are equally socially clueless. (Or, alternatively, they might actually be better at it ,with high success rates, but we'll never know.) And men fail to empathize with women's concerns because it isn't part of their cultural and social milieu.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 06:11 PM
–

Interesting arrangement. Glad it works for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:21 PM
–

Ay Caramba! I wonder if that is more common than we think. I suspect it may be. And what to do about it is so.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:18 PM
–

For many people, when love is present, sex and love aren't so easily separated. Love produces it's own chemicals in the brain and so does sex. It's not always easy to disentangle the emotions that both of them sometimes share. They are both sharing the same hardware, so it's not so easy to say "oh, that feeling is affection, oh this other feeling is sex". Sex probably triggers a lot of the same feelings as other emotional things for those people. A lot of this will depend on the environment some…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:11 PM
8

I think OP maybe isn't entirely typical. I mean, full make up and high heels just to hang out by yourself around the house? Maybe if you were complimented more on appearance related things. Men aren't typically rewarded that much for dressing up. And then, there's only so much dressing up you can do. Like guys aren't putting on lipstick, you just put on a nicer shirt. Also guys just get dirtier more often. If you do housework/yardwork/etc in your good work clothes you end up messing them up.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 08:20 PM
1

As a child, you would literally be shunned or bullied if you didn't conform to gender expectations to some degree. Your success, including romantic success, from that point depends to some degree on playing the role well (unless you live in an exceptionally liberal area, possibly). And, like anything, eventually you get used to it and even get pretty good at it so that it's not just posing after a certain point. Faking it til you make it does work, but it takes some longer than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 06:54 PM
1

No because sexy for a man is appearing like a fucking viking and being ready to defend yourself at all times from everyone and killing half your personality in order to put up a stoic masculine front. It isn't comfy or sexy to us personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:58 PM
2

I disagree that men communicate emotions "the right way". But I agree that women are just as bad at it. Women might have some slight edge in being able to express insecurity without feeling ashamed or guilty about it. And women may be better communicators with other women. But when it comes to communicating with men, this sub is still rife with "you have to read the room" and "pick up on social cues" in place of actual communication; and, bizarrely in this day and age, communication initiated by…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:50 PM
-1

What do you mean by "defensive and on edge"? It means being non communicative and unfriendly unless the guy is persistent and charismatic. Shit tests. Women will often say they don't approach because they want to know the guy really wants them, and if they make it "easy" (!) by approaching, the guy will just take what's handed to him. The logic of that argument extends to this: only guys who really want them and are persistent enough to engage them earn their attention. Unfortunately those are e…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 05:44 PM
–

Do you have men in your life (not including family members), like male friends or co workers? Never had any attraction to any of them (real people that you interact with or at least observe on a semi regular basis; not celebrities)?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 01:20 AM
–

will adding a man to my life be that beneficial? That would be a good general question for women. I would say yes unless you find yourself exclusively in bad relationships. And even then I suspect it's more to do with how you manage relationships than anything to do with men. Main point; you can find men who are similar to yourself. There are plenty of men who would like to have nonmerging relationships, who are happy on their own but miss having intimacy at times - in its place. Or you can date…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 01:02 AM
1

It's more feelings of insecurity that are shameful and hard to talk about, especially when you are younger and male. Like, I never had to cry or rant and rave, but for me it would manifest as feeling bad or depressed and not really knowing why and not feeling safe enough to explore why, or knowing what to do with it. It was embarrassing to not know what to do, for example, but also embarrassing to ask or admit that. Sometimes not without reason; many people expect guys to just know stuff somehow…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 04:29 PM
1

It is a good question whether or not people are over-diagnosed and over-medicated for things that are natural at certain stages of life. The struggle is real, the question is should there be medical intervention, when and to what degree. It could be that medical authorities are too pill happy. It's also worth asking; has life gotten more depressing? Every day I see young people posting on reddit multiple versions of "is this all there is?". Can't blame em. People will say "it's always been that …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 06:24 PM
3

First you say women's attraction is mutable (presented as fact) I said it is considered more mutable. Is the consideration accurate? I don't know for certain. The claim is that it is considered to be more mutable, and it is more accepted in general, so it's more visible. There's no pop hit by a guy called "I kissed a boy". yet men's sexuality is only regarded a certain way. Yes I think there's more rigidity regarding male bisexuality. Does that mean that male sexuality is also mutable? Good ques…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 10:36 PM
9

So, just curious, do you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about? Like it might as well be posted by someone on another planet or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 08:11 PM
2

Forget about the sex aspect, it will be interesting when chat bots are closer to being fully functional, so that they can be fully conversational, and backed with the power of instantaneous access to the internet. We are almost there with things like "Alexa, give me a chocolate chip cookie recipe", but not quite.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 07:44 PM
8

Bi women usually don't care or prefer it That's by no means a given. Female sexuality is considered more mutable, as though most women are somewhat bisexual anyway, and young women who experiment are just playful and exploring their sexuality. Male sexuality is not regarded in that same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 07:34 PM
1

Which is a glaring testament to their own hubris.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:49 PM
–

The question, which was raised by the OP, is how should women be compensated for any deficiency in the Value-Fuck coefficient, given that such a deficiency is projected as likely, perhaps even unavoidable. What has to happen; an escrow account should be created, accessible only with discreet passwords (his and hers); after the date, a short dating value survey is completed and, when agreed upon by both parties, the passwords are entered and the funds are divided accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 07:46 PM
1

stop looking for it You don't have to look farther than this sub, and whatever makes the front page of Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:39 PM
1

Men on this sub frequently wax lyrical about handsome and sexy men Really? I don't really notice many guys waxing lyrical about other guys. I see more guys referencing good looking dudes in envy than admiration.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:35 PM
4

Freud said most people are "basically bisexual", though some will be at one end of the continuum or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:33 PM
2

"Internalized misogyny" (as a result of patriarchy) is often the go-to here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:31 PM
12

"If feminism is the philosophy, lesbianism is the practice"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:29 PM
11

Why don’t woman hating men date men? Because a basic premise of this sub, and possibly modern western civilization as well, is that men desire* women but women don't desire men. To put it country simple. Reflected in the imbalance in dating. *-the desire being for sex and relationships, both of which women have less desire for then men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:23 PM
1

OP is referring to a rhetorical technique where you ask a bunch of "gotcha" type questions in order to derail a conversation. It's actually called "did you stop beating your wife?" But OP is mixing a bunch of different claims together and coming up with a new, nonsensical, conclusion that doesn't follow from her premises. For example, women finding men unattractive is why women don't date average men, not why women should be bought things from the men they date. Op would be better served bringin…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 11:59 PM
6

Alright so I'll add a column for "love" on my next spreadsheet.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 06:43 PM
10

What does that mean? I'm referring to things you are actually saying. You are trying to distance yourself from your own bullshit by doubling down.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 06:22 PM
12

Do you date men you find unattractive? Why? Just for the swag? Do you have sex with them too? Again, why? Is that what you think most women do?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 06:11 PM
20

But if he buys her dinner that makes it equal? Don't you find this take sexist against women? It's saying women's sexuality is pretty much non existent (or at least hetero women's sexuality is non existent), as they take no pleasure in sex and therefor should be compensated in merchandise. I know the claim is going to be that men aren't worth having sex with, that's why women take no pleasure in sex, but that seems a little too sweeping. What if she does enjoy the sex accidentally? Does she have…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 05:34 PM
26

So in sex you see the man as getting more benefit than the woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 05:06 PM
1

I agree. People always wanna say there's no such thing as Blu Pill, it's just anti-RP, but there's clearly the standard conventional mantras like those mentioned along with a few others. It's the status quo, basically. Red Pill is a reaction to blue pill beliefs, not vise versa as popularly claimed here.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 09:47 PM
6

TLDR; If you aren’t attracting your type, you’re most definitely too entitled. If you just aren't putting yourself out there you aren't likely to be getting the exposure you need in order to meet that person with your particular search criteria. It's not necessarily that your criteria are delusional. And there's some sort of inverse ratio of how much you have to put yourself out there vs how attractive you are (or how magnetic your personality is). The entitlement may not be "your type" it may b…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 09:40 PM
–

It would be nice if women met you halfway. I used to spam a local, somewhat niche online dating group with a new ad/post every week. Finally this woman replied and said she liked all my posts, but only decided to say "hi" after reading the 4th or 5th one. Eventually we met and hit it off and were together for close to 2 years. We are still cordial, and appreciate the time we had together. We never would have met if I didn't ridiculously keep posting nonsense for weeks on end rather than giving u…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:53 PM
–

Some dude replied that it was because she came off as desperate. I have a hard time believing these stories. What guy is going to say that? I can get if he's not into her for whatever reason, but I never once thought "she just wants it too much". That sounds like a woman trying to write a male character. Not saying it's impossible; I think I've even read some guy here say it. But it's foreign to my way of thinking, since actually showing a mild sign of interest is slightly above having a pulse i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:31 PM
–

no sex or affection puts #1 in more or less roommate status. Sex 1x a month actually wouldn't be so bad if it were actually passionate and adventurous, but this sounds like it would be rather dry duty/maintenance sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:04 PM
3

You can upload your personality to an online AI avatar and it will have a social life for you, perhaps with other avatars. It can update you on how it's going if you're interested, and maybe recommend you contact the other person if things are going swimmingly. advantages; your avatar is tireless and doesn't get discouraged or moody. It doesn't mind if dating is a numbers game.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 02:10 AM
3

There's no intimacy and connection from doing so. I agree but that refutes OP's assertion that higher sex drive is the cause of men's problems. You're positing all these existential (and immeasurable) things like lack of "connection" or "intimacy" as being the problem. Those things are never talked about here, it's always "sex drive higher" in a purely physical sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 10:12 PM
7

I don't believe this explains as much as you think it does. For example, if men are so much hornier, why can't they be content to look at porn and masturbate? Or next step, go to sex workers? If it's only that they are hornier why don't they just rub one out and get on with life. Why hassle women with their "needs"? There's something else at play if they need women to be involved with the whole scenario, but nobody can identify it because sex hormones are assumed to be the whole story.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 01:23 AM
2

Why do gays and lesbians seem to have a wider variety of attractive types than their heterosexual counterparts? I get a lot more attention from gay men than I do from straight women. Which leads me to conclude that gay men have a much wider range of what they consider attractive than straight women do. I think it's probably similar with lesbians, though I haven't really grilled any lesbians about their preferences. But it seems like there a wider acceptance in terms of what body types they can f…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 06:30 PM
1

How about some sort of religious/spiritual endeavor? Doesn't have to be the fundamentalist kind, maybe the woo-woo kind, or something in between. Could be interesting from a philosophical viewpoint, and maybe a mixed crowd there doing much the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 05:36 AM
–

I lapsed into sarcasm at the very end, combining the frequent advice given to "fix your personality" and "be yourself".
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 06:20 PM
–

Average performance at work will get you fired. I temp as an office drone and they never have enough employees to actually do the work; I think the philosophy is to always have 1 or 2 less employees than you really need (hence the need for a large, benefitless temp pool), in order to max out the workers you do have. And then they expect them to identify, innovate and initiate special projects on their own, in addition to their regular work which they are never caught up on.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 05:03 PM
–

That's a little judgey but you're basically correct. A guy can be shy (or very shy) and in a world that considers "confidence" to be the sexiest trait, for a man to be shy is to have a maladaptive personality. It is scorned here pretty regularly. I would stop short of saying "there's something severely wrong with you", but the fact is, if you're male, you will have to learn to conform to the performance standards, socially, around you. You have to become a confidence man. Always be closing. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 04:27 PM
–

You are kind of doing all the things you are protesting about.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 11:12 PM
–

I used to meet partners in bars/clubs/ parties even on the street in passing, also fellow colleagues. On the street I'd say probably not, unless the guy is so charismatic he's manic or on some kind of stimulants. Otherwise I think it's safe to say, at least where I'm from, women don't want men approaching them on the street.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 05:04 PM
–

But my social circle dried up years ago when my friends moved away, started their own family/bought a house and focused on that etc. Since then my social life has basically been non existent and my 30s has been pretty bad. This is pretty average too though. I'm on my fourth city now and once you're into your 30's hanging out at bars and partying can feel tedious. I also think your budgeting is off. Meaning, if you live in a big city, you are likely to have a roommate or 2 or 3. If you have your …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 04:54 PM
2

I call this Population Derangement Syndrome. We aren't running out of people. Maybe in 500 years or so, but not for the next couple of hundred. “With 8 billion people and counting on the earth, we don’t see a collapse happening at present time, and it’s not even projected,” says Tomas Sobotka at the Vienna Institute of Demography. Even the most pessimistic projections put the world population in 2100 at around 8.8 billion. This is far below the UN’s more widely agreed upon estimate of 10.4 billi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 06:24 PM
1

Go buy your cheap $10 ai gf if you can find her. How dare you insult my future dollar store girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 12:07 AM
2

Cars? Hardware does become cheaper, eventually, usually (although this can be artificially kept high by updating OSs and making them incompatible with the previous hardware, not supporting older OSs, etc), it's the cost of the subscription to have access to the software. It's not prohibitive though, you could definitely budget for it, just like people do for various streaming services now.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 12:06 AM
–

So who’s to say or judge that either of them are in the wrong? People with experience that contradicts their claims. You have men and women trying to enforce gender stereotypes on each other all day long here, claiming people are defective if they aren't real men who are super confident and swimming in the sweet ladies, and who want to have sex at all times with any woman, or women who are broken with an n count above 1, men and women can't be friends, people doing the same thing over and over b…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:35 PM
1

I see AI as filling in social needs but not so much sexual needs. If AI became fully conversational, it would be a fascinating conversation partner, right? It has access to everything on the internet. It could be like having coffee with your favorite professors every day. Does social media actually make people less social in real life? Maybe it would deepen that trend. Or it might be the opposite; the AI wouldn't necessarily be an echo chamber that lots of algorithms result in, and so might be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:12 PM
2

Not always. A lot of things that used to be free, or had one initial purchase price, are now only available on a subscription plan. It seems like people can't understand the total cost of something if it's broken up into smaller installments that go on forever. This might be the wave of the future. There might be opensource versions that are highly glitchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 07:01 PM
45

Here's my conspiracy theory; We went from 3 billion humans in 1960 to 8+billions today. Along the way we chopped down ancient forests, extracted the minerals that were accessible, over-farmed/ fertilized fields (and created things like the dust bowl in the 30's), killed off wild game, depleted wild fisheries, lowered ancient aquifers, etc, exploited natural resources until they became endangered, scarce, or polluted. And now what is the greatest resource left to exploit to support the lifestyles…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:40 PM
1

It's kind of a vicious circle. Men don't cold approach because women show no signs of interest. Most in fact try to show the opposite with a "leave me alone" vibe. Which is understandable, because there are lots of women who get harassed by men on a regular enough basis, and they report this beginning in early adolescence and ending perhaps somewhere around menopause. Contrary to this subs religious-like dogma, most normal men can and do "read the room". And women tend not to be friendly towards…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 07:13 PM
1

Parents. And later teachers. Girls are forced to conform. Boys are forced to compete. Competing involves a lot of failure when you are first starting out. Sometimes the failures outnumber the victories. Girls are considered more vulnerable because they aren't told to get out there and kick ass (metaphorically) and grind until they make something of themselves, so they are more protected generally. This kind of valuation seeps into society at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 04:37 AM
3

Are you defining FWB as being exclusive with that person? Otherwise you wouldn't have the benefits that HTML_Novice mentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 12:33 AM
1

Some people like there to be an emotional connection even if it's in part fantasy, others couldn't care less.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 05:59 PM
21

How have they managed to brainwash you that a population collapse is going to be a catastrophe when we are headed towards 9 or 10 billion on the planet? That's what I want to know. What a masterpiece of propaganda. Truly impressive that the slaves are crying that the wealthy won't have enough people to enslave.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 05:51 PM
1

You’re literally proving my belief that all men are shallow, egotistical creatures. OP is a woman who is either jaded or has had some unique experiences. I wouldn't base your conclusions on OP's opinions solely.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:20 AM
2

I believe people easily fall into a rut in their sex lives. Usually not after just 3 times though. If that's the case, 1 of 2 things is happening; either it was never good in the first place and this was a "3 strikes and your out" situation, or the men you are referring to are some kind of (largely mythical) uber chads to whom sex is about as meaningful as getting your car washed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:17 AM
–

Not so sure. Women are pretty good at forming their own exclusive social groups, and seem to like socializing with just other women. I've been looking at "MeetUp" for various things to do, and (almost) anything you could mention, from hiking and other sports to reading books, will have an exclusively "women's meet up" for it. With men, not so much. There was a men's group meeting close to me, so I checked it out, and I was the only one there besides the group leader. I could see women-only group…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 05:33 PM
2

It isn't particularly good sex. You know next to nothing about that person and vise versa, but you kinda stumble through it. It's appreciated if you have been celibate for a long, long time. But like someone said, the best part is probably the build up and anticipation beforehand. (referring to hook ups or ONS, not something like FWB)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 04:45 PM
1

Interestingly, when men go MGTOW, they need a movement Well, feminism is a movement also. And there is no corollary for men telling them they don't need women the way feminism tells women they don't need men. So there was definitely a niche there to be filled.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 04:49 AM
1

You can look at it from the other angle. It's not that you are "taking anyone", it's that maybe you aren't demanding to feel tingles and sparkles or whatever instantly. Where you might have thought, "for me to put forth effort into this, it's got to be a HELL YES!" you may now think "well, that wasn't objectively awful, perhaps I should give it another shot". Because who knows when the next chance will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 04:42 AM
10

I agree with most of that except that men are so exclusively attracted to 18 - 25 year olds. But what I would add, is there needs to be a de-emphasizing how having a woman and a family is the only possible validation for men. Not only in society, but personally; I think boys are taught that their girlfriend (and future wife) is the only person who is ever going to love them. Even their mom is going to pity and judge them a loser if they don't have a woman at the appropriate time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 06:02 PM
1

I agree with most of that except that men are so exclusively attracted to 18 - 25 year olds. But what I would add, is there needs to be a de-emphasizing how having a woman and a family is the only possible validation for men. Not only in society, but personally; I think boys are taught that their girlfriend (and future wife) is the only person who is ever going to love them. Even their mom is going to pity and judge them a loser if they don't have a woman at the appropriate time.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 05:56 PM
2

That one I definitely agree with. It seems like it's been going that way for quite a while now though. Even before the internet, parents were defaulting to schools to raise their kids and give their kids values, something schools weren't prepared to do, particularly as that would seem like over-reach. Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers were raising one generation of kids. Political correctness and "wokeness" might be a reaction to that "hands off" policy later on the part of schools and parents, and y…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 05:39 PM
2

someone who chases novelty, attention, validation, and needs constant social stimulation is going to cheat, Are you saying all extroverts are (potential) cheaters? and those attributes show up in what they do in their lives everyday. In terms of everyday stuff, what does that mean? For what it's worth, my experience does back up your claim to some degree. Whenever I get a girlfriend, it seems like she needs social stimulation to a very high degree, and I've definitely been cheated on by at least…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 05:16 PM
5

Not gonna read all that, so, will delete soon. But I agree with the 1st part; men=bad, women=good, generally. Even women will agree, and back it up with arguments about how nurturing women are vs crime stats perpetrated by men. Then women don't understand why men don't do something about the bad men. The reason men feel ostracized from society is very hard to put a finger on, because sexism is baked into society by beliefs such as those above. Personally I think the reason men may not be as nurt…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 06:06 PM
–

Personally I need an AI that can do the texting for me. My text game isn't so good. Then if I actually get a date maybe I can get a little earpiece and have the AI prompt me with conversation starters and other witticisms.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 02:25 AM
18

Most guys fall into a relationship through circumstance and dumb luck. I'm not sure if my best friend is my best friend because we are so compatible, or because we happened to live on the same block back in middle school. It makes me wonder if I would have had a different best friend depending on where I lived in town. Maybe relationships are similar: 90% a by-product of geography.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 04:25 PM
1

Freud believed we are all basically bisexual. I think Kinsey also plotted orientation on a graph (with some people distributed on either extreme, but most clustered more toward the center), rather than considering it either/or. So yeah, male bisexuality is probably more taboo now than male homosexuality. Has female bisexuality become more accepted, and therefor more practiced as women feel more comfortable exploring? It's hard to say how many people remain deeply closeted about it, or how many w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/24 06:02 PM
0

Within limits and to a certain extent, perhaps. I'd have to have almost unlimited $$, and she would have to demonstrate good personal qualities over a long period of time. But I'm never getting married, never having kids, and don't even desire to live with another person, so the amount of sharing the wealth I'm talking about would be limited to paying for dinners, trips, hotels, maybe the occasional shopping trip, etc; not buying another person houses or cars (unless I was mega wealthy).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 07:29 PM
2

I agree with you that if you have the feelings you describe, it isn't settling. But not everyone can find that perfect match. There are some who argue that romantic love itself is a transitory psychosis, after which you find yourself with a flawed person not so different from many others, who may actually prove to be incompatible with you over the long haul. Personally, I think I've been settled for by women over my looks. One woman even said as much, on more than one occasion. Not even during f…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 07:16 PM
-1

This is why guys, if they have an online dating profile, should always try to include a shot of them with other people, out doing something. For women, doesn't really matter (though they naturally tend to put those kind of shots in their profiles anyway), but for the dudes; women want to see that you can function in a social setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 06:52 PM
1

It's a bigger picture as others have said. There doesn't seem to be a way to plug men into society. As kids they are seen as too rambunctious and either medicated from that point forward, or allowed to be semi-feral ("I don't care what you do, just don't do it here"). Lifelong mood stabilization might play some small role in lack of motivation. In the west we seem to make progress by rebelling against the previous generations to some extent. Maybe this is just another example of that dialectic a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 06:45 PM
23

Y’all constantly say women have way more options than men, but you have nothing to base this on except some men using data in a bad way and dating apps. There's also personal experience with women in their lives. I've known a few women who struggled, but I've known many more who were rarely single ever in their lives. And even with one of the ones who struggled, she showed me her OkCupid dating app profile and I scrolled through the guys on there who were her "matches"; they weren't all terrible…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 06:08 PM
1

I agree with you that a relationship at that age is the most intense. The kinds of things that are happening psychologically within a person are unique to that first experience of being in love. It also leads to probably the harshest break up; even if you end on good terms, you're likely to be psychologically shaken up for a while, maybe quite a while. It probably is emotionally immature. You are dependent on the other person living entirely for you, which isn't possible or desirable. Maybe it's…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 06:19 PM
2

Physically I agree men often will have an edge. But as leaders I disagree. There have been and continue to be horrendous male leaders. I don't even understand how you can make such a claim with a strait face. List the 10 worst ideas you have ever heard. The majority probably were championed by men. There are some studies that show that female police officers are less likely to have situations escalate than male police officers. Anecdotally, I've had male and female bosses and teachers, and it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 05:53 PM
2

The tiny segment of the male population that could or would do this isn't likely to form long term bonds of any quality anyway. Their woman will probably sigh in relief. Maybe rich dudes? I don't know. The % of guys who would do this is so vanishingly small as to be mythological. It's probably more common that the female half of the couple will realize she's a lesbian. Or that the male partner will realize he's actually a woman. Or that one partner or the other will simply outgrow, change, or ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 05:42 PM
5

Agreed. With people you work with, the vetting part just naturally happens as part of the work experience, over the course of weeks and months. It's not part of a dating strategy, it just happens to work well that way. (insert caveats about dating coworkers here if needed.) I do it too, and I'm a guy. It's the easiest way to get to know someone, organically, over time, as they are a captive audience, so to speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 03:09 AM
10

Blue: we are the same and everything is perfect as is. Get married, have 2.3 kids (or less now), car, dishwasher, that is the dream; relationships are easily attainable for everyone {internet hugz} if you just go outside and eat grass. Red: we are not the same. Debate spins off of the myriad interpretations of that, or whether it's true at all. Purple: some people live in a blue world (probably less than they think though) where all those rules apply, they have personalities where all of those v…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 09:25 PM
1

Perhaps you would be more comfortable thinking of him as a philosopher than a scientist.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 05:14 PM
1

People complain because they believe they can influence their environment. Exhibit A is feminism, which has effected many changes in women's circumstances over the past 100 years or so. Complaining was no small part in that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 05:09 PM
2

Freud was brilliant, but he also was a little too edgy/dorky with a lot of his theories and many didn't pan out. But modern people still ignore some of his basic teachings to their peril and increased misery. Though, much of his stuff has become absorbed into the popular vernacular so that he no longer gets credit for them (ideas like Freudian slips - that he still gets credit for, repression and projection, transference, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 04:47 PM
3

It’s not that hard to perform femininity in a way men expect especially for manipulative women. I'm not so sure they can keep it up for very long. I agree that it's super easy to seduce men, though, especially the types (many) that are starved for attention. Someone being mentally ill and love bombing you before going nuts has the same effect as a dark triad person. It's not at all the same though. And, I also remain skeptical about men being completely fooled by "love bombing". - - women don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 06:11 PM
6

Why do so many men have experiences with mentally ill women who also love bombed them and made them feel important? Love bombing isn't the same as a dark triad trait. I agree with ThorLives that men are not particularly attracted to dark triad traits in women. As to your question about why men have experience with mentally ill women; 1. there are a lot of mentally ill people, 2. many of those men don't have the option to choose otherwise, they can only date the kinds of women who come within the…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 05:51 PM
7

The people who actually have comments and discussions are the sane people: not the people who are dismissive. Laughing at others isn't the badge of "normalcy" a lot of people seem to think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 10:06 PM
7

This is one of the very things I want people to understand. Just how isolated we are and how "being emotionally open" is often counterproductive and inviting of further psychological abuse. How it's acceptable and mainstream to do that to men and why that's a problem. Yeah, I would not expect a woman to be able to empathize with this entirely since it would go against her notion of masculinity as ultimate privilege, power, and freedom, which makes men incapable of being a victim unless the guy i…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 06:29 PM
1

Confidence to some degree is a skill in and of itself, not reliant on some other competency (as you point out, there are no Chess Club groupies). In that respect you can fake it til you make it. That's what acquiring any skill is: working your way through from noob level to competency. Social competency can be not so much believing you are better than everyone, but believing no one is better than you. For example, if you have dinner with a bunch of lawyers and you aren't one yourself, you might …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 06:15 PM
4

Good looking guys, usually who also do stuff. And take the right pictures. For instance, I knew a guy, decent looking, probably above average a little, who posts pics of his motorcycle, him playing guitar with a band, travel, parties, etc. Things that show him as competent across several spheres, including the social realm. According to his own report, he crushes online.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 05:54 PM
2

It's a matter of compatibility. For the majority, sadly, I wouldn't bring much. But that one weirdo out of a hundred might find me funny, attractive, appropriately masculine, etc, where the others wouldn't. This isn't strictly hypothetical, I have met women who actually liked me, and they are awesome, but they are, unfortunately, bizarrely rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 05:22 AM
–

But having way more relationships/marriage options than the average dude? The ratio is close to 1:1, the math doesn't math. My over 30 female friends could have 3 platonic dates every weekend if they wanted to (and some have). Their male counterparts, not so much. The common reply to that is "yes, but those men are all losers". I don't doubt the majority are unacceptable even for a coffee date, or even to reply to on an app, but I hesitate to agree that 100% of them are unworthy 100% of the time…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 04:28 AM
2

PNC = once you bust, your mind is no longer "clouded" by sexual urges and you can think clearly I disagree that men are thinking clearly afterwards. You've gone into a hormonal deficit. If not a deficit below normal functioning baseline (quite possible), at least a deficit relative to where you just were when sex chemicals were flooding your brain. It's like your brain is a toy boat afloat in a bathtub full of sex hormones, then the hormones all go down the drain at once, more or less. The boat …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 06:19 PM
–

Men here have repeatedly claimed that a woman's value diminishes after she's past 25. I don't think that is accurate at all. It's blown way out of proportion here, and unfortunately the men here just passively let such claims slide. If most of the guys here are younger than 25, it makes sense, because anyone (male & female) under 25 thinks that it is all downhill after that. And for guys older than that, there's not really any sense in trying to talk kids into anything. But for most anyone over …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 05:50 PM
6

But I hard time believing that men wouldn’t be uncomfortable with the idea that people are sexually abusing something that looks exactly like them. That's actually a good question. The plot of nearly every movie and TV drama already includes killing a (male) bad guy. Nobody objects to that. Some mass shootings look like scenes from video games, but people vehemently deny any connection there. I'm not sure people would start objecting to whatever you did with your sex doll, but who knows?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 05:20 PM
3

Well, you're just describing an open marriage then, where either partner can step out for virtually any reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 05:03 PM
4

It seems to me that there's two different sets of people, and that's why you get so much disconnect in a sub like this. 1 group is pretty much normal average people with more or less functional personalities. They tend to find appropriate partners eventually, without too much struggle. The other group is everybody else. Which isn't a small number. There tends to be something about their personalities that is out of the normal range; they are rather more extroverted or introverted, shy or gregari…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 05:50 PM
3

There are too many people for the limited supply of exploitable natural resources at the moment. Leaving the only exploitable resource, the last abundant one left: other people. That's why life has a sort of petty and shallow undertone; people are the fodder for the economic system as it more closely resembles a Ponzi Scheme. Check back when we actually get down to, say, 3 or 4 billion, when the fisheries, aquifers, forests, etc, have a fighting chance to replenish themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 03:02 AM
3

don’t try to search for a gotchya when there isn’t any I don't know about the autism stats, but the women here are more than capable when it comes to sexual stereotyping.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 07:55 PM
8

Possibly, but magicians say that highly educated people are the easiest to fool, because they believe they can't be fooled. Perhaps that over-confidence could apply in other areas as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 06:28 PM
8

Their secret is that they approach while other women wait They are pro-social. Women often want to hide their interest to protect their ego. Which is understandable, men do as well. But, since so few women show interest in men, the ones that do are a noticeable anomaly. And it isn't that "confidence is attractive!", which is the only lesson people ever seem to take away from this. It's that actually being friendly (+ able to communicate) is attractive. And even if she seems a little off the rail…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/24 04:23 PM
1

Lack of options*, and the fact that the relationship doesn't have to last forever, it can just go until the wheels fall off. My 1st girlfriend was as you describe. It was either her or nothing as far as my options went. The good parts were good, and I decided to just wait and see how bad the bad parts would be. Eventually I got tired of the tantrums (by about the third one), and at about the same time she was burned out or bored of me. Overall, I'd say it was a positive experience. Her tantrums …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 05:46 PM
4

I’m sure it’s less men than women though. Yeah I don't know about speed dating, but as I mentioned, the singles Meet Ups I saw weren't accepting new single men because the gender balance they already had was way too many men and too few women. Maybe speed dating is different since it's pricier for men to attend. I'm doubting any shortage of men though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 06:13 AM
9

I haven't tried speed dating, but I did look at meet ups for singles and they were not accepting any more single men at the time. That was a year or two ago so I don't know if things have changed. Speed dating sounds fun in an awkward way but I think the price was offputting because I imagined it being more traditional types of women than I would match with but I could be totally wrong about that, I have no idea what kinds of women do it, really. Do women have to pay? Or are they the bait to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 04:30 AM
2

There might be a kernal of truth to the biology explanation, but as with many things, tons of other beliefs, myths and stories then exaggerate it out of all proportion, because in western culture, more of everything is always better. In this case, the myth is the idea of what the ideal male should be; a prince charming, a cowboy, a self made billionaire who knows how to sweep a woman off her feet, stoic but caring, a zen master who knows karate and can make a speech when called for but otherwise…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 08:26 PM
3

It exists in various forms but it isn't ubiquitous. And there's the female version: lots of threads all over reddit about women who were able to be uninhibited with a near-stranger, but could never act that way with someone they cared about. In men I don't think it's as common as people say. But there are things that resemble it, so it looks like it's more common. For instance, men might be afraid she couldn't bond emotionally if she seems too hypersexual. Or those men might be afraid they might…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:39 PM
1

Agree. I think you can love a person forever, but it's the more prosaic kind of love, like familial love or love between friends. Not romantic love per se.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:49 PM
0

I wouldn't say "dogshit personalities". But I would say women don't need to have (and typically do not have) the kind of social skills people are talking about on this thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:32 PM
2

Somewhat. Because odds are that 1st person you meet and crush on isn't going to be your "forever soulmate", or whatnot. Also, you'll probably have to gain some experience before you realize that, to some extent, what you get out is what you put in. In other words, when you find the other person boring, often it's because you aren't putting that much in yourself. Not always. But often enough. It might take a while to learn that "it's not enough to "just let things happen", I've got to actively pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:06 PM
1

The harsh reality is, the kind of people I attract are likely to have some major character ... quirks, lets call them. So it depends on how high functioning they are despite these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 04:20 PM
24

mens mental issues are all that matter How do you see this as being the case? If anything I think men are told to "man up" anytime they have a problem, and women are told "it's a man's fault!" when they have a problem. Was she abused in her childhood? Are you saying we don't take that seriously? I'm thinking of the "teachers seducing students" scandals we often hear about and how there is unmitigated outrage when the victim is female, and there tend to be more shoulder shrugs when the victim is …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 04:10 PM
5

Because men are considered to be more free and independent than women. And women are considered more vulnerable, men more dangerous. So it makes sense to have more women's shelters, for example. And ackshully, it goes back to early childhood. Men are cast out of the family circle because they are supposed to be independent, bold and confident; so go out there and skin your knees and pick yourself up off the gravel. Your time for intimacy will come later, and this early rejection or neglect will …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 04:06 PM
15

when I would leave the house for work, I'd atleast talk to 1 - 3 new people a day Dang you are very social, I'd say. Even when I was taking the bus everyday, no one wants to chat on the bus.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 01:40 AM
2

I feel like I got tons out of my relationships (even tho they ended). I can't imagine where I'd be without them (maybe in the same place, who knows). I regret not managing them better, but I don't regret having them, I'm grateful for them. I view them as a collaborative creative project. It's always worthwhile if you can enjoy making something together with someone. So I hope to experience that kind of collaboration again, but yeah I gotta also be able to enjoy life on my own since that may not …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 04:40 PM
17

For now. Social circle is flatlining. Nobody has parties anymore. Online I never feel chemistry with anyone - I'm not expecting magic or tingles, but it just seems so generic. I'm trying to figure out different ways to meet people. For now though, nothing's happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 04:18 PM
–

Women hate introverts. Or shy men, really (where are the people gatekeeping the introvert label?). Chad has never done anything so bad as the insecure introvert they dated once. Never again!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 01:52 AM
3

Just curious, what specifically are people sourcing for these kinds of predictions? Are there economists who have examined all economic factors that go into predictions of this magnitude and gone on the record? Or is this an internet memes kind of thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 11:18 PM
31

Because of the Women are Wonderful effect. Women don't have to prove themselves, they are acceptable just as they are. With men, not so much. Put another way; women are given the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. Men, speaking generally (there is some halo effect for men) are NOT given the benefit of the doubt, until they prove otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 10:59 PM
6

I didn't gender the people in the post at all. tru but the complaints around porn consumption, and whatever maladaptive consequences it may have, are overwhelmingly directed towards men. I don't think I've every heard someone complain about female porn consumption (though pop culture stuff takes its place).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 07:52 PM
7

I can only speak for myself, but I don't believe this is true. Unless you are talking about weight... the porn I've watched doesn't have the most attractive performers. But they are not overweight (and I do mean obese or borderline obese), generally, compared to the average population. So if we are talking "it's unrealistic fantasy to expect to date someone who isn't significantly overweight", then perhaps? I may be in the minority, but when I watch porn I'm generally more interested in seeing c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:58 PM
1

I agree with you. However, I think many average women, who are not "trash wh**res" still have unrealistic ideas about what "average" men are like or are supposed to be like. That's why you often hear "apex fallacy" mentioned in this sub regarding the average woman's take on what it's like to be an average guy. I don't think it's unusual, for example, for women to be surprised that men's dating experience isn't like theirs, and they think that if they were an average man they would be out there s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:46 PM
–

I would say you are at a disadvantage and will have to make an effort to counterbalance those tendencies, like going out more, finding ways to be more social, be able to have conversations, be comfortable with those awkward silences sometimes, not afraid to fail sometimes, etc. People keep saying "...if the shyness is debilitating..." It's always debilitating.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:41 PM
4

There is a lot of that. We've run out of things to exploit (natural resources, space, resources of other countries, etc) and are now cannibalizing each other (economically speaking). Even OnlyFans could be interpreted as a sign of that; every asset must be leveraged, every market exploited, a price tag put on every aspect of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:32 PM
2

I think we have personality dysmorphia. In the 1950's, suburbia was thought to be the antechamber to heaven (which people still believed in); white picket fence, big new car, perfect nuclear family. If you went to a psychiatrist it was a shameful admission that you were severely defective. God forbid if you were a homosexual. Or bisexual (sexual deviant). We've gone back to that in a lot of ways (tho we are more accepting of some sexualities). Maybe there's a 70 year cycle for these things. We a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:27 PM
3

Nah, women lack confidence about tons of things and men still like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 09:59 PM
3

I also figured out that it made much, much more sense to approach people I was interested in, based on my preferences, than pick from people who are basing the approaching on their preference, not min. A rare bit of sanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 09:05 PM
6

Women are generally not attracted to men who get their worth from validation from women. It’s insecure and shows low self esteem. So you can see this is something a man could never be honest about with women, because, basically they are shamed for it. Now would it be the same with the genders flipped? Or would guys be more compassionate? And why are women not compassionate in this regard, rather than scornful? 'Fake it til you make it' is the message being given here.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 04:24 PM
2

That's interesting, I guess you hear about guys regretting relationships too, but it doesn't seem like anywhere near as much (except when it's a bad divorce)? There was a post recently by a young guy who hadn't had any relationships yet but was scared about all the things that could go wrong (she'll leave, she could cheat, etc). I think most of the advice came from guys and amounted to something like 'ignore the fear and do it anyway'.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 07:29 PM
4

Are women's relationships that terrible that every woman loudly cheers these WGTOW posts? Or at least, no woman contradicts it? If so, I guess they are right. There's the question of why are they so miserable. That's another topic. One caveat about the WGTOW shtick; most old people regret opportunities they didn't take, not the chances they did take. Also, do all women really have satisfying social groups? Again, no woman contradicts the claim. Though an effect of this alleged greater socializat…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 06:48 PM
–

You seem to be putting the cart before the horse as far as worries goes. Once you get in the game, it is very possible that some of those things will happen. Other people are kinda squirrely and have their own agendas. You just have to take the bad with the good. The first break up is especially rough. There is a temptation to just wallow in your feelings too much, too long. The best thing for that is to do stuff with friends each day, just so you aren't sitting there thinking about it non stop.…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/23 05:59 PM
2

Let AI do the matchmaking. I guess there's no way to really match people based on a questionnaire, tho that seems odd to me. I wonder if a bunch of psychologists were given a grant to develop a list of 100 or so questions that would determine compatibility, if what they came up with would be useful or an utter failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 09:32 PM
2

I wonder about that too. Matches based on your google searches or YouTube history, plus whatever other information they glean from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 09:11 PM
5

The sad thing is, there are probably other women similar to your ex (potentially good partners, that is) out there, but it's difficult to find them. Your ex isn't one in a million, but might be one in a hundred (or so). You probably pass that suitable person every couple or three days but will never know.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 05:46 PM
4

This 'muffles' them a bit, because I'm not getting swept up in thoughts themselves, but I'm instead anchored to the 'me' that notices the thoughts that float around inside me It probably sounds weird, but I try to compartmentalize the negative thoughts by visualizing them as belonging to separate psychic entities that are *trying* to be helpful, but are prone to taking up too much available bandwidth if left unchecked. I anthropomorphize your observer as "the King" who listens to these anxious a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/23 05:38 PM
1

It begins with how differently men and women are raised. Women are usually sheltered and protected, men told to go outside and stay out of mom's hair. Long term results are several. 1 is, women perceive men as having the ultimate power and freedom to do whatever they want, and so can't comprehend men who struggle getting what they want, and 2, when men want intimacy, it's probably going to have to be with a girlfriend, because they aren't really treated that way growing up. This will vary; some …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/23 09:24 PM
1

But there's no reason that the women I meet on here, or the other men for that matter, would have a dating experience that is useful to hear them talk about. Disagree! For example, there have been threads in various subs lately about how women shouldn't make the first move, or that men should "get good" at sex because women dont' teach (tho men do I guess?) their partners what they like. This is the magical thinking applied to dating and sex approach, and it doesn't really fly long term. These k…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 12:14 AM
11

True, websites promote sensationalism for clicks. But it's also true that many of these things don't just happen in a vacuum. The weird people online also exist in the real world, and it could be argued that their extreme positions aren't really so rare, it's just that the anonymity of the internet allows you to see the tip of the iceberg. People like to say "oh that's just a few basement dwelling incels or FDS women ranting", but there's probably a smattering (or more) of them through all level…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/23 12:03 AM
2

Doesn't that call into question every debate we have here? No, because your dating experience is going to be different depending on your gender, and neither one (+) can fully comprehend the other's experience, values and motivations. Thus, debate happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 11:58 PM
2

chow down all day and all night. Doesn’t even have to be the best food Are you speaking for yourself here?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:27 PM
–

There is a such a thing as over communication. In actual practice, I don't think there is. Unless you are imagining people getting out charts and diagrams mid act. If the chemistry is there, you shouldn’t need to discuss everything going on in the act. To some degree yes. Maybe to a large degree you just have to be compatible, which means relating to similar kinds of touch, etc. However, I think people take this concept of "magical compatibility" way too far. You actually are doing them, even th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 05:36 PM
–

And "good at sex" doesn't even exist. Because it depends on personal compatibility. It's amazing how people haven't grasped this. There might be some things that are universally bad, but there are few that are universally good. That thing your ex loved and got off on every time? Odds are fair that your next partner is going to loathe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 05:26 PM
1

as did a couple of male friends and none of us feel like it was a good thing I was wondering if there was a difference between men and women here. I'm a little surprised your male friends regretted it. Your women friends, I'm maybe not as surprised but maybe because I'm imagining scenarios you so often see in movies where the woman is coerced into sex she isn't really ready for the first time, or is "pumped and dumped" by a guy she thought really liked her. Not sure how common those scenarios ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 05:18 PM
1

It's women's interest that is less flexible than the man's, and therefor her interest is the prime mover in any relationship. That's why we have to have 1000 posts about why women should never settle, but similar posts about men settling are rare. And many more women state they are demisexual or sapiosexual, etc. They have inscrutable and ineffable requirements like spark, chemistry, tingles, or the opposites, the ick. Men have these too, to a lesser degree, but make no mistake about it, it is w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 01:33 AM
1

It has to really flow. You have to be in the right state of mind. Maybe naturally confident people are in that state of mind nearly all the time. For me it usually takes either a little alcohol or tons of caffeine. But yeah, flirting via text is often kind of awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 04:45 PM
1

Single man, wash dishes within an hour or so of each use (no dishwasher). Make the bed upon getting up. No clothes on the floor, ever. Downfall: dust.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 04:31 PM
1

I haven't seen what you've been seeing. I'm on a few scam subs that talk about these types of scams, and it's almost 100% very young, inexperienced men, not older men or women, falling for these. I haven't kept a count, but in each sub there are groans in every other thread about "another young guy needs to be told random women online haven't fallen for him and want to see his penis".
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 07:09 PM
2

I'm not sure how you can separate them. A lavish lifestyle is also a mark of status. As far as does being rich help, I'd imagine so just cause you can afford to put yourself out there more often, better dressed, coiffed, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 04:05 AM
2

hoes can be fun But can a ho truly love you? when you say creative, do you mean expensive and wasting money away? Aw what are you gonna do with that money anyway, retire someday? edit; I know what you mean about the $. Hotels have gone up like crazy in the last few years. I seriously would go off season, mid-week, otherwise it can get nuts.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 12:05 AM
3

Keep in mind that it is infatuation. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Ride the wave for as long as you can and try to build a foundation for it to transition into something more permanent afterward (if that's a goal). Plus, I don't think it's entirely delusion. When I have had crushes on people, I have thought they were brilliant and beautiful; and they were, and continued to be even after the crush subsided. Maybe I just have good taste though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 11:52 PM
6

fun. It's like having a best friend but with sex thrown in. What's not to like? It gives you creative impetus. maybe just because two heads are better than one. But, for example, I'd go get a hotel at the beach for the weekend if I were part of a couple. Single, I wouldn't do that. Sometimes the other partner brings creative ideas to the table so your creative potential is augmented. There is some therapeutic value, though some will deny this. And maybe it only applies to some people. It takes s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 11:47 PM
3

OP is negating the common trope that HVM have more successful marriages than provider/settled for types. Usually in this sub we just talk about alphas being more "naturally" successful with women. But there is also this fantasy that "high value men" have better marriages because they are more desired or more powerful.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 06:00 PM
2

Cheery news for Billy Beta!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 05:54 PM
1

There will probably be a pain point as demographics shift. But Boomers are already starting to expire. It's probably Millennials who will get it in the pants as they get older, in terms of service reductions. But I think the problem is vastly overstated. It's used as a talking point on internet forums to promote certain agendas. Why? Because there isn't a single study that you can draw on that cites all effects in play in a complete economic analysis, like the anticipated prices of housing (lowe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 05:31 PM
3

Relationships are fun. That's the whole point (unless you are trying to procreate).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 10:35 PM
7

Is this attractive people problems?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 06:02 PM
3

It was more of a thing when I had entry level jobs. You know how you sometimes hear that food service staff are incestuous. It was a little like that with some of the jobs I had at the beginning. Now though people are getting much more conservative about workplace flirtations. Glad you dodged that bullet.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 07:33 PM
7

Yeah your social circle becomes static after a while. It doesn't seem like people have parties like they used to. It's more like small gatherings of people that already know each other. The only way I meet women is through work these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:23 PM
3

A lot depends on circumstance. I've moved around a lot, and it gets harder to make new friends each time. when I visit home, I still have a bunch of friends that I hang out with. When you are younger and on your own and party more it's a bit easier. It's not as easy to make friends when you're an adult. I've done a bunch of meet up type of things and they are ok but I have yet to feel a strong connection to anyone at those. Adults aren't very good at hanging out casually.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 10:33 PM
2

That's an interesting point though. Women often say they want to feel protected or safe with a guy. What do lesbians want though? I ask because I think a lot of that is sex role stereotyping. We want to feel like conquering heroes in the eyes of our women, and they do seem to often judge us on "manly" behavior and how well we perform gender roles. And we do often want to feel nurtured (and accepted) by women. How much is biological, how much is social, who knows. I think the origins are in biolo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 06:52 PM
5

I had to stop reading at some point, but I disagree with some of your premises enough to reply. I don't think men need to imagine women as helpless and needy in order to feel valued. Why? Because on an existential level we are all helpless and needy. We are alone on a spinning ice ball hanging in space. To some degree we need to be accepted by our society because to be cast out means to barely survive. Two factors are part of why people cling to one another. They imagine they have a partner to f…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 06:18 PM
1

I wouldn't care. I know my profiles aren't the kind of shit women like. If you are an average guy, you have to make a Cecil B. DeMille level production of the pix in your dating profile. Haven't gotten on that yet. I imagine the kind of women who enjoy dicking around with dating apps scroll through those things faster than I scroll through the posts on the Reddit front page.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 06:44 PM
3

Disagree. There is such a thing as sexual compatibility for some people. Even men! For your premise to be true hook up sex would have to be just as good as relationship sex. I find that it isn't because compatibility is a real thing, and sex with a rando isn't like to have it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 05:47 AM
1

Interesting I had to scroll a long time to find a comment that wasn't knee-jerk blowback against OP
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 06:50 PM
3

I had one girlfriend who was borderline abusive. Not physically (not with me, though she did get in physical fights with others while we were together), but she had anger management issues, and whenever she was upset (which would be whenever she didn't get her way), it was usually YOUR fault, and she was very confrontational and accusatory. It is a little bit of a grey area because there is some controversy about how much we tolerate women expressing anger, or being angry. - are expectations aro…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 06:34 PM
1

It makes no sense to say you settled for a guy and then say "and he was an asshole" in the next breath.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 09:39 PM
6

I assumed it was rape/abuse. I was thinking more of run of the mill dickish behavior, or maybe what some would call milder emotional abuse, not major criminal behavior. i've never seen a man demonstrate that he was concerned that the woman was going to hurt him. Do you think men are better at hiding their true selves? There could be something to that. To me, as a guy, I'm just not very trusting I guess, and I've found that people tell you who they are pretty quickly. but then; no one is trying t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 12:19 AM
4

so you're saying bc the most aggressive men are going to be okay asking women out, that is why problems associated w aggression (rape/abuse) are so common in dating? That is not what I'm saying. If you are only talking about rape and abuse, then I won't reply because that's something that would require more research than I have time for at the moment. why would that not be the same for women who are aggressive enough to ask men out not being safe people for men to date? That's an interesting hyp…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 11:24 PM
16

Lots of reasonable people, men and women, are unenthusiastic about dating lately because both encounter tons of negativity (not limited to dating milieu, but in other online and real world interactions also). But think about who persists. I don't personally know anyone who was abusive but I know a fair percentage (not all) of successful guys who were a little squirrely. Women are mortified at the idea of making the first move, it like goes against all the laws of nature, God, and man, as far as …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 11:02 PM
37

Do men actually believe that women are actively seeking out potential partners who are bad people? No, at least not usually. But through some quirk of the universe we've arrived at a place where the way women vet men is almost assured to weed out any reasonable human being and leave the kind of men that don't really care what you feel or think, as long as you are useful to them or feed their ego. Confidence for the win.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 09:57 PM
5

hell even coworkers This notion is ironically becoming lost, given how many hacky "team building" memes there are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 06:35 PM
1

Can you give me some examples of double standards that can't be explained by our nature and/or the environment we evolved in? Explanations aren't proof, they are just theories, and you can weave story/explanations about anything. That quibble aside, look at feminism or queer culture. It functions w/o the biological story/ gender stereotypes (or at least it attempts to rewrite those stereotypical scripts; unfortunately it often just creates more stereotypes in order to do so, but that is almost i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 06:16 PM
3

I know some couples that are making it work, but I also know bitter people irl too, including misandrists, misogynists. These people don't only exist online. You probably don't strike up the same conversations with strangers in real life that you do here. People aren't as forward in real life, otherwise you might see more similarities.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 06:06 PM
–

I don't know about the rest of my life (I'm not the marrying type), but a potential LTR, sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 05:58 PM
12

If 100 women were pestering me for whatever, it's hard for me to believe that all 100 would be worthless. A very low percentage (1 - 3%?) might be interesting, but it's hard for me to believe it would be absolutely zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 03:55 AM
–

It sounds good. There's several things that are positive in that scenario; she gives you the benefit of the doubt. That may sound like a "so what", but it's actually pretty rare and very generous of spirit. Probably an indicator of a pretty good person. It's also a sign of creativity, since she has to be imaginative to interpret things that are probably more neutral as positives. It's the opposite of the person who is cynical/critical about everything. Generally, people need to learn how to be m…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 12:46 AM
5

I agree with you. Women love dogs (and cats). Where I live it seems like every woman has a dog, at least. I think in part it's because they want unconditional love and a "perfect" partner. I could see AI stepping into that role more, "How was your day, Sandra?!" ... and off she goes. Probably could be good for everybody actually. Depending on who the farmed personal data was shared with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 06:19 PM
0

Too much old people will create an enslaved younger class Ah, the conservative psy-op is working perfectly!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 04:56 PM
5

I must have missed something. What does any of this mean? I get to judge them because i was their victim. Whose victim and what did they do to you? They saw my forbearance and chose to interpret it as weakness. So what though? This happens with every shy person (well, men mostly). They saw it as carte blanche to launch a campaign to make my like hell. Campaign? Really? What was the "campaign"? I am well within my right to retaliate Again, have no idea what you're talking about. Buuuuttttt... bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 09:13 PM
5

Men and women aren't that different psychologically Boys and girls are raised differently, often with different mythologies and role models for behavior, and expectations for what life, and relationships, will bring. It's a major difference that will never be discussed here because it isn't quantifiable or biological, and most people here are (men and women) autistic to some degree and can't tolerate ambiguity to the extent that it actually makes them extremely angry not to "be right" or have al…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 06:44 PM
1

I agree with you to a certain extent. I think a lot of "romantic love" is a psychological phenomenon that is in part a product of your own brain chemistry (hormones) and projection (part fantasy, but in some part reality also). However, where I disagree is: I think that's still an incredibly powerful experience. My analogy is that it's the opposite of trauma; it creates an incredibly positive experience in your life that you can draw inspiration from for a long time afterwards. I mean it can act…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 05:16 PM
7

I have dated some women just for the hope that sex would happen, but I would never say that I didn't like them. I just wasn't that smitten with them + was going through a dry spell measured in months or years. I would not want to be with someone I disliked.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 02:14 AM
8

it's amazing how the eternal circlejerk goes strong as it can. tf does this mean
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 02:11 AM
0

I’ve seen a couple of posts recently asking why people say girls are harder to raise than boys. The replies reveal that girls are “helicopter” parented while boys are often ignored or borderline neglected. I think this idea of boys being half-parented is a cultural production to make men cleave to their wives, not just for sex, but for emotional fulfillment. Carl Rogers said that you need the unconditional positive regard of at least one other person in order to make lasting changes that will af…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 04:35 PM
3

Disagree because if you haven't had the experience you can't have become jaded. Jaded people are at either end of the spectrum; those who date a ton (too much maybe) but always get it wrong somehow at one end (maybe mostly women), and those who never date at all on the other (maybe mostly men). These extreme outliers may be bitter and jaded by then, but most other folks remain romantic fools until later in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 05:27 AM
5

Just think, if you have similar dreams every night it would go a long way towards compensating for what reality lacks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 06:22 PM
–

I couldn't care less if my value for gay or bi men is higher than for women. Women are the ones who i am interested in and their view of my value is what's important. Women value differnt things than men in men. It at least shows that there are different valuing systems. The question then becomes, are all women unified in there valuation of men or do some women see men similarly to the way gay men see men. You'll probably say "no because gay men are hornier". and that's true. But, as long as we'…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 06:10 PM
1

Too simplistic. Terrible argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 11:51 PM
1

Ok, we're going in circles, as happens so often here. What I was objecting to was your conversation-ender: "it's cope to say (whomever you're jealous of) is evil" You are focused on the relative "evil" part. That part I think is hyperbole. I'm focused on whether or not it's "cope".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 11:15 PM
0

Generally I agree with you there. The attractive people I've known have been pretty well adjusted relative to the general population. But I dont' think they are completely w/o flaws, and some of those flaws may be attributable to the privilege they've experienced as exceptionally attractive people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 09:47 PM
6

Because of his personality! But seriously though, I'll argue 2 points, a little half-heartedly. 1. The concept of the ideal man is hyper inflated these days. It's a little equivalent to adolescent boys thinking Margot Robie is mid, that is to say, it's bordering absurdity. Is that an exact equivalent? No. And I do agree with you, OP, that it is good that women don't feel obligated to be with or stay with someone who isn't right for them. Women shouldn't feel bad about their interactions with men…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 08:04 PM
0

You're going pretty far afield. The point is, claiming people that debate whether being beautiful may come with some built in complexities, perhaps unavoidable ones, are just expressing "sour grapes" is just a way to diffuse their points without thinking about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 07:50 PM
2

That was a reference to this comment; negative memories and injuries like that of ugly people. which is more about life experiences in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 07:23 PM
1

I feel like it's a pretty common cope to claim that the people you're jealous of are really evil There may be some truth to this, but it's also a way to silence every criticism ever. Don't like the 1% owning everything including the water? Sounds like a "you" problem. Have you thought about not being a loser? You want affordable health care?- that's just victim mentality. There may also be some truth to the idea of pretty privilege (for men and for women). Or just the fact that pretty people are…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 04:15 PM
2

Exactly. This sub is a proof. Not really. Proof of the abused lashing out, perhaps, but not evidence of the beautiful being well adjusted. Nobody strikes me as well adjusted here. Well adjusted people don't rant (even if it's wholesome "this is fine" blue pill content) from their soap box 24/7. Even the people who claim to be strike me exactly the same as the people who claim to be "nice" or "alpha" or whatever else, probably because they are also the ones who then say "I"m just here for the lul…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/23 04:08 PM
1

I'm not sure how else they would monetize it. Your "private" conversations being used to craft adverts for you? Your info for sale? Product placement in the AI itself ("maybe a coke would help!")? A subscription-only model? Maybe there will be open source alternatives that aren't quite as good.
/r/MensRights16/11/23 12:21 AM
1

But that isn't the case, curiously, with dating apps. You'd think there would be some sort of variety but that doesn't seem to be happening.
/r/MensRights16/11/23 12:16 AM
89

Because it seems like most women have absolutely no clue about it. Women view men with an apex fallacy where they think all "average" men are dating effortlessly and any guy who isn't has serious flaws that make him well below average. And/or average women think average men's experience dating is similar to theirs, when usually that isn't the case. But what's bizarre is the weird cognitive dissonance this seems to cause many women, as if they refuse to believe it. That's when the bad blue pill a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 11:01 PM
6

If you're a guy, your pictures mainly need to be of you out doing things, going places, and having friends. Appearing successful socially is VERY important. If you don't have friends, no woman will be interested. That is an interesting observation. I notice a lot of women's pix are them outside, on a mountain or at a beach. And often a pic of the "girl's night out" is included, yukking it up with friends. To me, those mean nothing. I know nothing about a woman from those. "Hiking" isn't a person…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 10:49 PM
4

This is the same with women. I'm not sure why women are acting like it's a big shocker, like they love being in relationships with awful sex. If the sex sucks she won't get involved. What about that is a mystery? As for dudes; GOOD sex forgives a lot of personality flaws, but not all of them and not always.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 05:41 PM
5

Interesting but I don't think so. I've interacted with a few people with diagnosed BPD, and they are extreme personalities. There is no mistaking their reactions for normal behavior and it manifests fairly quickly, so there's no hiding it. I'm not an expert by any means, but I don't think these are behaviors you would generalize to a population group as a whole. Exception might be the "Karen" phenomenon. Some "Karens" do display instant dramatic mood swings including histrionic reactions (or pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/23 05:17 PM
8

Most men recognize (probably mostly subconsciously) that beauty displays (i.e. selfies) are feminine in nature, which is why they more often tend to include them doing something You explained this aspect more eloquently than I could.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 07:42 PM
13

There's a difference in aesthetics that points nicely to the difference of how men and women are valued. Women feel great and get rewarded for just being themselves. Men post selfies after they've done something. A fish. Their car. Something they made. I go on long camping trips and always like to take an "end of the trip" selfie. I think I usually look pretty good. Women would think I look like a hobo.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 05:51 PM
5

The real reason is that not enough men are handhold enough to get the reaction they want from posting selfies. Or is it that people just don't compliment men? You have probably read women say they don't smile at men because men will think the woman is interested in something more. Guys just aren't going to gush over another guy's selfie the way women do, and there's probably several reasons for that as well, and neither are women. Women gush over the slightest thing other women do. That doesnt' …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 05:06 PM
65

Because nobody cares about guys selfies. 2. Because we'd be accused of narcissism instantly. 3. It would be seen as insecure or desperate. 4. etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:38 PM
–

I genuinely can’t say that I’ve ever seen a woman say that female friends and female friends alone fulfill all her social needs. Are you from a conservative area? I live in a part of the world where a section of the interstate was known as "The Amazon Highway" because there were so many women-only communes there at one time. Also, I just stumbled on this sub with 12K members, so it's not like it's completely unheard of; https://www.reddit.com/r/wgtow/
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 09:12 PM
3

I'm a great believer in luck. I think I'm very compatible with only a small percentage of people, but with those people I am actually very compatible. I know that sounds exactly like the "I'm Speshul" excuse for being single. And maybe it is a bit. But the point also is; the majority of people are not into me at all, some small percentage actually intensely dislike me instantly, but along with those, there is some (unfortunately very much smaller) percentage who are into my trip from first meeti…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 04:48 PM
16

yeah, why did I have to scroll so far for this? the courtship process is a microcosm of the macrocosm: the male is the active principle. Even before courtship, it's he who has to make himself worthy via the plethora of personal improvement commandments that are given to men here daily; get in top shape, grind, have hobbies, be interesting, make the first move, but only when she wants you to, but without her having to tell you that (that's considered natural), etc. For women the advice after "don…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 04:34 PM
1

Yeah, just let me check all my bookmarks. No sorry, I don't have this sub committed to memory, and I don't think searching for individual comments is possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 07:10 PM
1

It's been repeated many times by women here.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 04:59 PM
1

Where have women said that? Where are you when women say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 03:49 PM
1

I wish I had learned to express positive emotion verbally more in some relationships. I often felt like touching (including sexual but not limited to sex) was where I communicated intimate stuff and closeness. Now I would make much more effort to be verbal, and more action oriented (like making plans, or maybe buying little gifts occasionally- nothing fancy, just simple stuff).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 03:22 AM
2

Yes. In this sub women often claim hanging with their female friends is all the socialization they ever desire. I've come to question that a bit. But one thing is definitely true: you don't see women debating other women here anywhere near as often as you see men berating other men. If "all women are blue pilled", men are all over the spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 03:15 AM
4

this is the Y2K panic of modern times. You know what the catastrophe will actually be? Everyone invested in real estate will lose when housing prices plummet. Wages will also increase because laborers will be in demand. That's your crisis. A nightmare for the monied classes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 06:23 PM
1

Your tldr needs a tldr
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:21 PM
3

Are you talking about you just have male friends only? Or that there are male-only spaces (that aren't gay bars) where you can socialize with other men?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 05:01 PM
11

I saw an old picture (1930s?) of a bar with a sign that said "no women allowed in barroom". I just can't imagine men being attracted to a bar w/o women in this day and age (straight men that is).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 04:46 PM
2

Your post is predicated on the idea that average women are more attractive than average men. I disagree. You regard the fact that women appear to be only attracted to top tier men as objective evidence of #1. While there is something to that, to try and make it an ironclad law of nature is the usual perversion of truth that the PPD insists on making. It's the female autist's equivalent to when men insist that only women under the age of 24 are attractive. Men don't want women who aren't attracte…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 05:05 PM
1

The statistics that prove women find only the most attractive men to be worth pursuing kind of destroys that notion. That is true. When will this gendered cliche ever die? Probably never. I guess because men are the main consumers of visual porn, that will forever brand men as "more visual".
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 06:02 PM
2

I agree the whole "choreplay" thing is tough. 1. He sees her as a sex dispenser after he performs the chores (his bad) 2. She encourages this if she says that's the main reason she doesn't want sex. She shares some responsibility, which most commenters here aren't acknowledging. I get being too tired for sex. I'm sympathetic to that part. for example, I hate saving sex for the last thing at night, after activities, dinner, drinks, etc, because my energy is low then. But I can state conditions un…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 11:43 PM
–

This is the problem with women blowing sunshine up each other's skirts constantly. Instead of being ultra femme, clueless, and helpless, the alternative offered is the female version of going your own way, being happy just with your gal pals, men suck, etc. I guess FDS offers a third way, sorta. But there needs to be a more practical and humane alternative role modeling for women, and there currently isn't. This alternative would teach women that they can be uncompromising and honest about what …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 09:52 PM
–

A lot depends on who you ask. Thus the "debate" part in the sub's title. I'll link to a comment that has some definitions that I think are reasonable. This person is more pro-red pill perhaps than I am, but their definitions are pretty serviceable; https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/w2zmh0/comment/ihmgnmr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Red Pill has also changed somewhat over time as different content creators attempt to expand on it. Some people think it's synonymo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/23 04:56 PM
2

Men are bred to have an emotional dependency on women, for intimacy certainly, but also for feeling like they are a part of humanity in general. And then beyond that, for the entire sense of meaning in their lives. You might think of it as being a corollary to women's former material dependence on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 10:13 PM
1

I think you can talk about emotions, you just have to be cautious about how you embody them. It's not quite as bad as it sounds. But yeah, you do have to talk about them while maintaining some type of stoic frame rather than full on emoting them. But that is a real option, and better than, for example, too much brooding moodily and silently. You don't have to be perfect, but you always have to be Daddy to some extent.
/r/MensRights01/11/23 03:13 AM
3

Not anymore, but I did once. It's not that she was boring. It's that her boring and my boring resulted in compound boredom. I was ok breaking up because I was under the (delusion?) that I'd meet someone someday and the chemistry would be so magical that it would rarely ever be boring. Later I realized that wasn't likely to happen, and the boring girl wasn't so bad. I really should have put in more effort to make it interesting, because I think she was willing, just not very good at initiating or…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/23 01:13 AM
2

I was raised without any religious traditions and even I realize how utterly ridiculous the comparison of original sin is. It's not a ridiculous comparison if (as in negative gender essentialism) the claim is men are bad by virtue of being male. How rare that view is could be up for debate. That it is non-existent isn't. the rest of your reply might be interesting on its own, but as a reply to the subject at hand it's a whataboutism.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 10:11 PM
3

Its some real original sin type shit And you wrote this with no /s and no trace of irony. Oh come on. You must be being disingenuous. There are definitely gender essentialists who feel men are irredeemable. Or that patriarchal values are baked into male psychology somehow. All these women (not just you) are denying that that ever existed, or exists? This is what men mean by blue pill trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 08:05 PM
1

Because of the Theory of Justice. We try to create the kind of world we would like to live in if we had no idea what our role in that world would be beforehand (and of course because our family, friends, tribe, nation, other affiliation group, humanity, occupy those roles).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:58 PM
–

you just wasted that important man's time Fake as fuck
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 04:59 PM
29

Because the experience of the haves vs the have-nots is so radically different. The haves still can't really comprehend the have-nots, except to conceive of them as severely socially backward or incomprehensibly ugly. Inhuman, basically. But the have-nots have become aware of the haves, not just by anecdotal observation, but increasingly by the super blue pill advice they give. For example, there are men who seriously (well. . as seriously as you can take anything in this place) advise just gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 02:46 AM
5

This could be my academic background showing.. Perhaps. I don't think we encounter it in academic settings so much as in pop culture references where it is very squishy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:16 PM
2

Otherwise there would be no such thing as cat calling Cat calling is a weird macho demonstration of how men think they should act, which they perform for other men. At least in my limited observation (live in a liberal city where you don't see it much).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:15 PM
3

Good point, but the lust thing isn't always instantaneous with men. I'll see a woman I think is exceptionally good looking, and I'll probably attribute good qualities to her character based on her appearance. But I'm aware that I'm doing that and I don't really know her. My interpretation of OP is that it's asking (women mainly) to reconsider 1st impressions. Not to the point of trying to fake interest or passion though. Do you think women's first impressions are more accurate, or even infallibl…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:38 PM
6

Maybe the objection to 'toxic masculinity' is that it isn't clear what masculinity is not toxic. The line between the two seems to blur or move, which makes it unclear that there really is any masculinity that isn't 'toxic'.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:18 PM
2

We don’t need new special places to socialize. Sort of disagree with this bit. Space is at an absolute premium now. If you aren't making money, you're losing money. There was a guy doing free lectures on philosophical topics back before the pandy. They were well done and well attended. He did them in a wine shop at first, but then had to move into a coffee shop that was way less than ideal. There's no space for something like that. The people attending didn't buy enough stuff to make it worth it…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:02 PM
3

That depends on how many times you expect to feel that kind of spark with someone. Do you feel it 2 or 3 times every time you scroll Tinder? Does it just happen every 5 years or so? Once in a lifetime? Personally I don't feel a spark til I know someone and they have expressed that feeling towards me. Otherwise I might be intrigued by someone's appearance and like their style, but I don't pretend that I actually know them. It's just a halo effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:08 PM
6

Women get angry when they are referred to as females, and claim that is degrading. The same would happen if "toxic femininity" were actually a phrase in popular use, but it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:56 PM
0

Yeah. Women already have a yoga class on every corner or knitting circles or whatnot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:17 PM
20

There are ample social opportunities There are inadequate social opportunities.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 05:12 PM
6

It’s because logic and justice play no role in how anyone looks for a mate. Disagree somewhat. A big problem is the market can't respond because it doesn't know how to exploit lonely men. And nothing happens w/o that $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Dating apps are all owned by the same company and are somewhat rigged. Speed Dating is kinda for yuppies, but it is popular. Something I've found odd; internet forums have to be worldwide in order to be any good. There's a subreddit for my city, but it is kind of awf…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:47 PM
1

Have done. Haven't really noticed a difference between men or women roommates.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 12:30 AM
3

True to an extent, although "read the room" is still quasi-nonsense. It's true it's incumbent on men to pick up signals when not to approach to avoid being creepy or worse. Most men are picking up on these signals. Then you criticize them for not approaching, ironically, because they supposedly "can't read the room". Because if we are being frank, "reading the room" is nonsense. It just means "do the awkward social risk taking things for me so I don't have to" but also, "don't make it awkward be…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:18 PM
1

Women haven't had the opportunity to choose their partners as freely in the past as now. Meaning, there's a wider selection of accessible males, and the choice to opt out if those males don't reach a certain criteria is presented as more of a genuinely legitimate option now. Someone here posted a quote to the effect of "men are a long term breeding project conducted by women" (the original was better). That actually may have more truth now that there is greater freedom of choice, but the results…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:57 PM
2

Sports bars when the local team is playing on TV. Everybody is surprisingly friendly. But you probably have to know something about the sport/team. I'd at least grade it higher than regular bars. There should be more activities at community centers. Like free (or relatively cheap) classes in languages, or how to fix stuff, or how to use certain software, how to dance, etc. There should be more community centers and they should have more robust community programming. There are some in my town, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:26 PM
11

She doesn't even like him. You want your woman to be into you but nothing about this rises above the level of Instagram.
/r/AllPillDebate26/10/23 05:09 PM
1

Um yeah? Why wouldn't you? Sex drives aligned, kinks aligned, sense of humor aligned, introversion/extroversion match, values similar. Maybe I'm overlooking some gross personality defect of mine that, augmented times 2, would be unacceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/23 11:14 PM
–

Well here's the link I always share when this subject comes up. https://imgur.com/a/xPwhSI8 Those are the truly average (amongst upper middle class Caucasians that is, but still, it's an average sampling of men and women). Are the women better looking than the men? I don't think so, but maybe you do. I always suspect the reason people think women are better looking is a kind of apex fallacy (you really are thinking of models, celebrities, women posting their best sides on IG, etc; not truly aver…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 09:44 PM
1

I agree but not for the reasons you give. Women will get bored, no matter what. The idea that she won't get bored if she doesn't settle is a romantic fantasy. Perhaps if she feels she settled she will resent her partner even more when she looks at him and thinks of the freedom she sacrificed. But she will get bored eventually. Some couples power through the boredom by viewing the partnership as a corporation that produces value (a house, $, travel, and/or kids). Some don't. This is also a proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/23 05:17 PM
1

I've read some histories of small towns in the western U.S. and am impressed with how they used to overcome the isolation of great distances. They would meet fairly often at community centers for dances, or picnics, etc. Sometimes the get togethers were at stores or homes, but many communities did have a grange hall or some kind of community space. These meetings were inclusive (meaning more age and somewhat economic status-wise; they didn't always get high marks for diversity). They created via…
/r/AllPillDebate23/10/23 08:05 PM
1

Yeah I meet people at restaurants all the time. Just sit down at a stranger's table and start chatting.
/r/AllPillDebate23/10/23 07:57 PM
16

Men are socialised to always put themselves and their needs first. They typically center themselves in any relationship they’re in because that’s how they were raised. Not sure how much of that might be true and how much might be lazy stereotyping. Could depend on your location/cultural background, too. Why do I doubt it? Because tons of guys lack the confidence that is the #1 attractive trait in men, according to women, for one thing. I think women are partially blind to the criticism men recei…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/23 08:58 PM
1

The problem will be the financing. How will companies make money off of these men? How can they turn it into a subscription model? And will the men acquiesce to it? What happens to the information (detailed psychological profile most likely) harvested? Men have shown little reluctance to being exploited in this area so maybe it will all go forward without a hitch. I think you underestimate the female market though. Women are substituting pets for intimacy already, they might appreciate an AI tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 09:31 PM
2

The habitual stoners I know can stay up very late if they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 07:06 PM
8

Pot smokers have an instant social circle of other smokers. Liquor has been a social lubricant for centuries. Unfortunately neither of those has ever really worked well for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 05:37 PM
–

Society isn't doing men any favors. I don't blame women for wanting "women only" spaces, or for having an in group bias towards women. But the result is a sort of shunning of men, which is going to have an effect eventually, as this attitude creeps through all of society at every level. Men are sorta like the dog you leave chained in the yard all the time, then wonder "why isn't this thing better socialized?", and put it back out on the chain.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 05:15 PM
1

Murder is such an extreme example that it's a bit of a red herring. Similar to when women say "false rape allegations are rare"; the problem isn't just false rape allegations, it's the entire rainbow of lies. False rape allegations just happens to lie on the extreme end of the continuum of character assassination. Similarly, a lot of these guys are legitimately creepy in an aggressively harassing and threatening way, the fact that they stop short of murder doesn't exculpate them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 05:29 AM
4

Also, why the downvotes for a perfectly reasonable question?
/r/AllPillDebate21/10/23 03:36 AM
1

I don't think the cynics are always extremists though. I used to think there wasn't much overlap, and that the extremists were rare. I'm not sure though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 12:12 AM
4

The only ones who I worry about are the ones that start talking about "retribution". Or similar ideas. That's when things get weird and disturbed. Not the "enjoy the decline" folks, the other, darker and more bitter ones. There should be push back against that. But this post sounds more like "Can't we ban all the people who criticize my nice BlueRedPurple ideas please?" I tend to agree that cynicism can be counterproductive. But they are also, unfortunately, often the only people that will call …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 11:16 PM
–

Are you in the US? I’ve heard it’s quite litigious there. Yup, liberal west coast city. Most sexual harassment stuff probably gets dealt with internally. It makes it to court if the company doesn't address it and the situation is repeated. Or if there's a power imbalance and the harasser can be considered to represent the company, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 09:43 PM
–

That's interesting. It sounds like you deal with real physical crises, whereas I'm in more or less an office atmosphere where the crises can be more.. cerebral, if you will. Every year we have mandatory trainings on sexual harassment in the workplace, hostile work environment, etc. These trainings are pretty much specifically to avoid lawsuits.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 05:03 PM
1

Soft agree. There's a surplus of people now, and this is how we cull the tribe; the unfit (and those parameters have been greatly expanded, perhaps even arbitrarily defined, since the unattractive are often physically healthy) don't get to reproduce. Now, are we also becoming a petri dish for advanced and pervasive mental illnesses, can you shun segments of the population and still be psychologically healthy, is there a rise in psychopathy due to selection for that trait, and so forth? Possibly,…
/r/AllPillDebate19/10/23 04:47 PM
–

All of this is fucking insane. What kind of workplace wouldn't be sued out of existence for any of that? Seriously, that is a HUGE PAYDAY in lawsuits where I live.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 03:55 PM
–

Well I'll tell you how it happened to me. I did nothing. Did not even approach the person. I was working, this person was part of the public in my workplace, and they caught my attention with a "excuse me, am I in your way?". She was about 4 feet away from me. I say , "no not at all" and go back to what I'm doing. Next I know she's complaining to my manager that I've been stalking her. So what happens? A complete investigation has to be done. Interviews have to take place and records have to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 03:53 PM
2

I agree. People are into you or they're not. You don't need them to make up an excuse like "it's not you, it's me", "it's a bad time for me", etc. Men are apparently routinely nastier and scarier, but giving "honest criticism" to women is no picnic either.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/23 04:55 AM
3

I disagree with that part too though. I'm a moderately boring person, but women are by no means good conversationalists. Probably because sometimes they don't want to ghost, they just want you to stop, so they try to show as little interest as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 06:25 PM
2

From my experience on dating apps, the standards for men are already low. You kinda had me up until that. OLD is miserable for average men. All of the men I match with don't know how to say anything except hru, wyd, and generic questions like where do you work, etc. I would ghost them at that point. But this is a bit of a double standard; women do not initiate conversations with witty banter, they expect the dude to do the heavy lifting in that regard. And that's fine, but - - - I'm one of those…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 03:23 PM
1

It seems true. If women are more or less all "blue pilled", men are all over the complete spectrum, and of course those at the top feel it's a worthwhile meritocracy; the best possible world, so why change? Just be like them, they will say. And they are right, it's good to be Chadly Chadington the Third. So you have a baked in Apex Fallacy that most women and a good share of men subscribe to. What does that leave? Just the guys who are struggling. Sour grapes. Although, I think more men are ques…
/r/AllPillDebate17/10/23 06:40 PM
2

Much better! Dating apps and social media cater to adolescent fears and tastes. One of those obsessions is the social hierarchy, and one's place in it. That serves to make people more isolated and feel like there's no place where they belong. An additional side effect is a proliferation of insults used in order to preserve one's place in the social hierarchy. I'm just here to laugh at other people, how about you? Yeah, what a shitshow, amirite! This has happened on an order of magnitude and make…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/23 03:46 PM
1

almost borderline offensive How so? You should perhaps work on this narrative as support for your main post.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 05:47 PM
1

I am not convinced. I think the reason this gets less push back is because you are absolutely saturated with advertising from the moment your eyes can focus. This typically features attractive women. Every morning I see ads with pretty young women holding up credit cards with joyful expressions. You ooze this kind of bias towards women from your pores. Here's some pix I took of a random old college yearbook. The point being, these are truly random people (tho perhaps mid to upper middle class Ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 05:44 PM
–

is it not a bad idea to chase after a girl just because your horny This could literally be interpreted to mean one thing or it's complete opposite; "is it not a bad idea ..." means it isn't a bad idea, or " is it not a bad idea..." means it is a bad idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/23 04:43 PM
1

There are some guys who are hyper-critical of women's looks, and they seem to congregate in this sub. I say that because there have been several threads asking "what's an average woman?" and then guys come out of the woodwork to put down actual average women. But that's this little corner of the internet. In the "am i ugly?" subs, it's usually average women posting and they get raved over by guys (and women who absolutely gush over them in a kind of display that men will never experience). Real …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/23 04:52 PM
2

Touching grass I'd say
/r/AllPillDebate13/10/23 05:47 PM
25

What is happening here? Why are all those women willing to kiss that one guy?
/r/AllPillDebate13/10/23 04:42 PM
2

Men want a partner to be into them. That's why "hire a sex worker" doesn't work for most dudes. They want the girlfriend experience, whatever that might be. There are exceptions. I definitely see men saying all the woman has to do is show up for the sex to be satisfactory, which makes it sound like she's little more than a prop. Women tend not to say that. Although sometimes women's participation, even when eager, seems minimal, little more than .. a prop. So maybe those guys who seem like they …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:55 PM
–

How do you do, fellow women?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 03:27 PM
1

or apply it. wtf. am I crazy here or does that not contradict what you just said? And suck it , downvoters.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 05:26 PM
0

I literally say in the OP this isn’t about a goal of being popular. Ok I guess I missed the point then. What is the point?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 05:15 PM
2

There weren't that many really popular people. Most were good looking So bullet one No. The point is there were few of them, and beauty isn't readily attainable. So bullet one is a non sequitur. a few were extremely personable super-extroverts. So bullet two One can change one's personality to be more outgoing, hypothetically, yes. DON'T BE SHY, BE AN EXTROVERT!! is great advice. I'm not sure if there's a lot to lean into there. Do we really need more DJs? This is regarding bullet three… I liste…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 04:40 PM
3

There weren't that many really popular people. Most were good looking, a few were extremely personable super-extroverts. I'm not sure if there's a lot to lean into there. Do we really need more DJs?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 03:51 PM
2

It seems like young people are curious about them at the beginning. Maybe when you are older they start to seem a bit cheesy. It could be that so many obnoxious men (and women, to be fair; that results in half way decent guys giving up on apps early) have brigaded dating apps that it's finally not cool any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 03:34 PM
1

If you are an average person, your general likeability score will be low. But you aren't trying to win over everybody. Just the people who are going to appreciate you. So if you are not beautiful (which I will now equate with being "likeable") you still may appeal greatly to 1 - 3% of persons. The trick, and it is a modern problem, is in finding and connecting with that small percentage who would be into your shtick.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:57 PM
0

At least he was to desperate, naive, and/or loony people 😂🤷🏽‍♀️ Those are people too! What if those are your people? Also; you are dismissive of the opinions of some people I notice, then why place such heavy weight on the opinions of some others? What makes them qualified experts in assessing the worth of another human being?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:53 PM
1

I’m sure a lot of people did. I'm not so sure. That's part of how he got away with it for so long. Ann Rule, the famous true-crime author, worked alongside Bundy as a suicide crisis line phone operator. I forget if she suspected anything or not, but I think I recall him charming people who you would expect to know better.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:47 PM
–

I don't think you are too unusual in this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:15 PM
–

I get the other stuff, that's good and clear enough, but what does "being annoying to them" mean? I'm only really annoyed when people are needlessly combative.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:14 PM
4

I meant provocative in a good way, like thought provoking. Men asking women out less isn't because of less interest (or reflecting their true level of interest), I think it's more because social situations have become more awkward for that sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 06:10 PM
14

It's a provocative title, but I don't think you developed the argument very much. I agree men often show off for other men, like with catcalling (or male blue pill braggarts in this sub? perish the thought), and those men are generally the worst. But the reason they do it is they want to claim proficiency at something guys (and women) care about; namely, women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 05:12 PM
1

You can repost it under the automod here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 05:07 PM
8

The idea that men aren't happy with +25 year olds is mistaken, I think. It is latched onto and perpetuated by this sub because teenagers have a horror of growing older (like being over 25). They are literally more afraid of that than anything in this world that can happen to you (because youth is invincible otherwise and doesn't expect anything worse to happen in that time frame). But with few exceptions, there's not much truth to it. Now, might men and women be settling for partners they aren't…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 05:02 PM
7

While many women have an apex fallacy about men (that all average guys slay the way the attractive guys women actually pay attention to do), Blue Pill guys are the worst at gaslighting. There was a dude here who actually wrote "just go outside - women come up and talk to you". I tend to roll my eyes at the whole "society lied to me" thing - Until I see some blue pill post about how men and women are exactly the same, etc. If that were the case there never would have been a need for feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 04:43 PM
7

Women should be attracted to people who actually engage them and stimulate them intellectually, are humorous if they are into that, are genuinely kind (it takes time to recognize that quality in a person) and whose physical attractiveness is acceptable. They should not rely on seeking masculine stereotypes unless doing so has worked well for them in the past. But if they keep making the same mistakes over and over, try something else. Unless they are just hooking up, then do whatever you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 06:33 PM
2

Is part of the job to treat your partner well? Would you tell them how you viewed them? Ethics would probably dictate that you treat your partner as an end in themselves, rather than as a means to an end (for yourself). That doesn't necessarily preclude this kind of business arrangement, but it probably would require full disclosure on the part of both parties (or at least it would require that you not misrepresent what you were offering).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 06:21 PM
–

I think we are more dependent on relationships for a sense of meaning. maybe even more so if you're a man, since women seem to be stressing the idea that women are happy/fine without men, but the reverse doesn't seem to be happening as much (mgtow is a thing but gets a lot of criticism and seems adopted by many men only due to lack of other options). But I don't think we are actively making it harder. That just sort of happened. It seems like the internet would make it easier to connect but it a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 03:51 PM
2

The problem with your post is its "stick your head back in the sand, everything is fine here" quality. The truth is everything in society should be subject to examination and critique. Blue pillers hate that though for some reason. Why is that? Things like the state of marriage, dating and relationships are all subject to scrutiny. They aren't sacred cows. If enough people decide there's something wanting in the societal expectations around these things then guess what? There might be something …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 03:35 PM
2

Polarization seems to be in vogue these days. Maybe the internet has exacerbated that. That fosters an attitude where, if I don't approve of 100% of the things that you say or do, then you have revealed yourself to be the enemy. Mostly this is in the sphere of politics, but it bleeds over into other areas of life. On this sub, it's probably seen as the demonization of feminism by red pill types, and loser men by blue pill types. Apart from that, but maybe related; a lot of people can only feel a…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 03:11 PM
1

I dont think this is a problem with men as much as with women. Makes sense, but on the other hand, you do have tons of guys here who take a little too literally the idea that all men are most attracted to 18-24 year old women. Not arguing that that isn't the age of peak attractiveness for women (and maybe men, I don't know) to many people's minds, but the conclusions the men and women here extrapolate from the idea (like that these are the only women who men are attracted to, or that youth is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 10:19 PM
1

Men on the otherhand, have to construct a puzzle in the moment, every single time. lol'ed at that. does feel that way sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 10:10 PM
–

Pretty much this, almost exactly. Only difference for me: desire, while "suffering", is also what makes pleasure pleasurable. It's only when desire is never satisfied that it becomes a constant negative state of frustration. But if it's part of a normal cycle of desire-satiation-boredom-abstinence (repeat), then desire can be made part of an ascetic exercise, or motivation for a long term goal. I may go without coffee for a week so that when I finally have that cup of coffee, it is more pleasura…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 09:07 PM
0

Are the most bitter posters here young and inexperienced? Or old and been through the wringer? (Or is it a tie?) General agree though. More idealistic and less cynical about romance when young. Literally saturated with hormones that transform lovers into gods or goddesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 04:37 PM
1

Yeah, I don't know about this. Is telling women, "All you have to do is show up!" doing them any favors? One the one hand, maybe you make women feel more confident if you tell them they can't possibly fail. That's good. I just don't think it's the truth though. Eventually that novelty that "wow she showed up, and that's her entire contribution to this project" is going to wear off (probably for both parties).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 04:02 PM
9

dating crazy girls that they know are crazy because of the sex? While true, there's more to the story. 1 - those girls often know how to flirt. They let you know they are into you. You don't have to guess. I've seriously heard women say that making eye contact with a man makes it too easy for him and he will take advantage of you, because men can't appreciate anything that come easily to them. 2 - they have positive attitudes about sex and communicate that too. So it's often not that a guy is da…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/23 03:54 PM
1

Don't get too thrown by the word transactional. Relationship is, basically, a synonym for transaction. Otherwise, love would be utterly random. Why love one person rather than another? I suppose you could say that you are supposed to love your family unconditionally. Or your clan or tribe, or religious group. But how would you love a person w/o having some basis in relationship/transaction? Sometimes people say they "love the person, but hate the action" when someone commits a crime. So I guess …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 04:04 PM
9

Yeah, one thing that made me start to wonder if women really are as happy as they say they are is the prevalence of fake empathy. It's a common blue pill thing to say stuff like "it's really really sad ... [that men are losers, for their own sakes, but oh well, I don't care, just sayin', etc]" After the 100th time a little bell starts going off, like, maybe you are sad but I doubt it's about what you say it's about, because you wouldn't be here posting over and over if you really were the object…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 01:27 AM
1

Your user name seems to counter the idea of your post.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 01:20 AM
2

How many men prefer the 9s and 10s to show off for other men? I think that's rare. Meaning, while you might be proud to show her off occasionally, it's not a decision making factor in choosing someone. This is maybe for the wealthy who are conditioned to feel they need to demonstrate high value through the appearance of their possessions and associations.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 03:18 PM
3

Also... this obsession with "hot girls" is juvenile. This is true (it's actually extreme understatement), but how do you get guys to see it? What do you say to guys who only find Instathot Stacy attractive, and use the same rationale that we see here from women often; "I can't help what I'm attracted to"; "it's biology to want top tier physical specimens only", "do you want to force men to date people they aren't attracted to?" etc, etc. Personally I don't think it is biological (because it goes…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 03:13 PM
2

I am sure all of you have seen and interacted with attractive women but just thinking about being sexual with them is uncomfortable because there is a huge personality and interest mismatch. Yes, but there are many variables at play. First, being horny and lonely for an extended length of time can make you overlook some compatibility mismatches. Sometimes those feelings get the best of you and then bad decisions are made. Then there's the golden halo effect which both men and women are apt to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/23 01:05 AM
2

only top of top musicians has status. There are different kinds of status. I know guys who were in a pseudo polka band and they say the first 15 minutes after you get off stage are the best time to mingle with the crowd because women will talk to you then where they wouldn't before.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 05:01 PM
10

Part of the rationale for "happier single" that is usually offered here is that women supposedly have robust social networks that make them feel less lonely, more loved, even when single. That I'm not 100% sure of. Sometimes, sure, but I'm not sure if that's always the case. There's no argument that it's better to be single that to be miserable as a couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 03:36 PM
17

People say this every time, but I don't really see that many couples around. Admittedly, I'm not going to Denny's. But I go to a crowded coffee shop often and see very few couples there. In fact it's sort of a backwater of single people just trying to get out of their house for a while. Same with Walmart or the supermarket. Shopping isn't a big date activity. And fat young couples? None.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/23 03:28 PM
1

Yeah, sorry to seem obtuse, but it feels like a Mott and Bailey to me where you claim privilege is irrelevant (tho OP used the word in their headline "attention.. is not privilege") and then retreat to the worst examples possible and maintain those are the only relevant things to discuss, and the only possible way of viewing male attention in this discussion. I'm not saying negative attention is irrelevant. But, barring trauma which pre-empts everything, there are other sides of the issue that a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 07:09 PM
–

Dudes hitting on children is a problem Ok, maybe we have to pick one subject and stick to it instead of shifting focus higgledy piggledy. Lets take your statement above. Yes, that is absolutely horrendous. And I defer to women who experienced that to explain how it affects them now. And if their conclusion is "fuck it, it aint worth it trying to sort the wheat from the chaff" I don't blame them. There. Is that better for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 06:20 PM
–

Who cares if your on the greatest cruise ship in the world if you're seasick? If the well is so poisoned that a woman can't enjoy participating at all in sex and/or relationships, then your analogy is fitting. It's understandable that that could happen. There's lots of evidence even in this sub that that isnt' always the case though. A woman here was calling me a coward just the other day because I suggested women could approach men they were interested in. There was tons of push back against my…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 05:21 PM
–

You get positive regard in the form of ingroup bias from this sub, as well as small but vocal white knight, blue pill men. Women can have relationships or sex if they desire them. You don't desire them now but presumably you have at some point. At that point you had to make choices about what kind of relationships (or sex) to have or not have. That choice is opportunity that not everyone shares.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:42 PM
–

Positive regard simply for existing from both men and women. Opportunities for relationships if you desire, or opportunities for sex, almost anytime you desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:06 PM
1

I always thought there could be a better "matching questionnaire" profile type of thing. Like if scientists studied happy couples and determined what are the most important things to have in common, and what don't matter as much. But it probably can't be done. For instance, I've always thought matching senses of humor would be the golden ticket, but how do you quantify that in order to say which ones match?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:50 PM
–

It doesn't take much negative attention to poison the well. But what guys see is the positive attention as well. Here you exclude that and focus only on the negative. And possibly generalize that as coming from all men, which is another objection men have with these black pill posts from women (to borrow U/Overarching_Chaos/ phrase). True, guys disregard the negative and focus on the positive aspects of attention too much. Both exist. Here's a quote from Cary Tennis that describes positive atten…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 03:33 PM
1

Guys don't always get a lot of guidance or experience when it comes to handling complex emotions, so maybe. If they got shut down at home, for many of those men it's sort of on the job training, they have to learn through experience in relationships how to process stuff. And that trial and error process probably isn't going to go smoothly until they get a little more used to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/23 04:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter