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half3mptyhalffull Archive

View 3 posts and 320 comments by half3mptyhalffull on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
28

Question For Menhalf3mptyhalffull/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 03:15 AM
22

Question For Menhalf3mptyhalffull/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:18 AM
8

Discussionhalf3mptyhalffull/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 11:56 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

because some men dont value others' values. they just care about their own needs and wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 07:36 PM
6

yeah, its never been "all males above x age make me uncomfortable", but rather the behavior of individual guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 04:03 AM
9

i think it depends on the age of the woman too. like when i was 12 there were some 12 year old boys that made me really uncomfortable, but as an adult im not worried about 12 year olds 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 01:29 AM
13

they will not project a personality onto her like women do with handsome men the amount of times a guy has told me he loves my personality and gone on to describe someone i have never been is comical. so either they were doing some heavy projecting or were terrible at reading a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:12 PM
1

at my parents 🤦‍♀️ still pisses me off
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 09:54 PM
4

its basically torturing an infants for no logical reason. that alone should be enough reason to ban it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 09:49 PM
0

unpopular opinion: if youre looking for something serious, wait to have sex until youve vetted the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 09:43 PM
2

ive known so few who actually do. i think ive met more women throughout my life with this communication style honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 11:47 PM
1

i choose to avoid men or women who use that communication style if possible. i can handle it just fine, but i have no desire to do so. i generally dont have to worry about it because the men i know view that communication style as immature and annoying unless its purely for comedic effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 02:30 PM
5

took care of him for the first 2.5 years of our marriage while he recovered from an injury and some serious side effects of the medications he took for said injury even though that medications dramatically changed his personality and it was like being married to a stanger. i dont like talking about the details of my sex life with people. only reason im avoiding this one. my guess is sacrificing her life for her partner? idk theres not a lot of recorded history specifically about women sacrificin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 03:54 AM
–

oops lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:14 AM
–

thats kinda the way my husband is tbh. he dgaf about social media stuff like the manosphere, but hes traditional "man's man" and gets along just fine with liberal/feminist types. its fun to watch lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:13 AM
–

just need a shower and some daily glass of cranberry juice to fix that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:06 AM
–

im normally not one to advise ending things with someone over something so small, but idk burnt steak with mustard gives me trust issues on your behalf
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:02 AM
–

"Oh it's no problem; I give a lot of perms DOWN AT THE NURSING HOME!" she had absolutely no chill lol 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 01:01 AM
–

yet she wanted hers well-done and dipped it in mustard. big oof. thats terrifying actually
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 12:59 AM
2

It makes me feel sort of disgusted i havent felt like that in a long time. it just makes me feel exhausted at this point. but i was raised by people with this communication style, so i guess thats natural. I am also on the side of "it's better to take a joke seriously than to take a serious thing as a joke". i think i might be on the opposite side of this tbh. theres a time and place for dark humor, but there are innapropriate instances as well. but i also dont struggle with distinguishing humor…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:23 PM
3

thats basically the conclusion ive come to. the main concept i was addressing was the "lack of social awareness" leading to misunderstanding. id argue that, when that communication style is brought into shared spaces, its met with intolerance vs misunderstanding. granted, ive seen that communication style in every social sphere, especially religious ones. its generally not lost on the people who respond to it negatively.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:12 PM
1

Consider this your warning to go do something else, even if it is just a nap. sage advice
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:58 PM
1

I often tell women upfront, that I am unlikely to commit to them. morality is realtive to an extent. a good rule of thumb is to not intentionally or knowingly harm yourself or others. one of the best ways to void that is to be honest and upfront with people. if you are doing that, then you are providing them with the opportunity to make their own decisions for themselves, which is incredibly respectful. before i was married, i enjoyed dating casually. its was so nice to simply get to know people…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:14 PM
13

no, we see the intentional inflammatory and hyperbolic speach. i personally have no respect for that communication style (the women ive mentioned this to always have felt the same- its not just me). its not productive, not conducive to effective communication, and frankly, reeks of insecurity. people who feel confident in what they believe can just say it truthfully without being constantly melodramatic, and they arent riled up when someone disagrees with them. melodrama takes away from the weig…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 02:40 PM
8

There are studies that lower T generally relates to lower attraction, I just didn't link them. But here you go. there were only 76 men used in that study total. thats not nearly enough to make solid conclusions about men in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 02:04 PM
4

i have no issue with prenups. i would read one methodically before signing, but i do that with everything i have to sign.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:48 AM
1

ive never cared about anyone ive been with watching porn. the only things that would make me upset are: -its an illegal type of porn eg pedophilia (i would report anyone who did this tbh) -he is straight up addicted to it (that can damage your brain and mental health over time) -he is exclusively into rape fantasy/murder porn (bright, blazing red flag for me) -he isnt interested in me because of it other than that, i dont care.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:43 AM
2

james- the jealousy would bother me if i werent so introverted already. but i prefer to invite friends over than go out, and i mostly keep to myself. also, if hes possesive and jealous he will probably run errands with me which is my fav. you'll be able to have plenty of in depth and complex discussions. this is my favorite part of partnership. michael- cant do boring. i wouldnt talk to him 🥲 daniel is okay, but i expect myself to work through my baggage and would expect the same of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:14 AM
–

sometimes in the summer. also if i have nightmares and i wake up drenched in sweat. basically if i sweat a bunch ill throw them in the wash. but mostly once a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 01:40 PM
–

vacuum- i dont have carpet, but i sweep a lot. i mostly spot sweep and then do a full sweep once a week. mop- spot mop as needed and then full mop about once a week dust- rarely. i forget about things above eye level. surfaces i can see get wiped down regularly. wash windows- inside of windows as needed, outside once a year. they stay pretty clean 🤷‍♀️. i mostly clean the sills. clean toilets- once a week, more if needed clean mirrors- as needed/when they look dirty clean bathroom sinks- rinse d…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 03:51 PM
1

vacuum- i dont have carpet, but i sweep a lot. i mostly spot sweep and then do a full sweep once a week. mop- spot mop as needed and then full mop about once a week
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 03:38 PM
3

being able to regulate your emotions and maintain your composure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/24 02:28 PM
1

if that video was meant to be actual woman empowerment then she is completely incapable of reading a room. im on team satire.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:04 PM
5

i went on dates with unattractive men back when i was still struggling with self esteem. their behavior was almost always more hostile towards me (on the first date mind you) than attractive men to the point where i was speechless. it was like their own insecurities manifested in abuse. some of them would go back and forth between saying blatant misogynistic things, and then immediately apologizing when i went silent, but thats not much better. except for one guy that i, at the time, viewed as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 03:41 PM
2

if thats within their moral codes. but yeah, id agree that its easier for women to sell themselves out in a literal sense while they are young. but so many are not willing to do that to themselves to the point where it isnt an option- they cant force themselves to choose it. those are options that feel like benefits to some women, but torment to others. another way the percieved benefits are relative.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:21 AM
3

i think the benefits of being a woman are a bit conditional. like if youre absolutely beautiful, smart, and supported, yeah thats golden. but if youre just an average woman, you benefits (specifically to being a woman) are limited to the quality of the people around you. if the people around you have good character, you have benefits. if the people around you have bad character, those benefits are all the sudden weaknesses. its weird and kinda hard to describe. hard to figure out too if no one e…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:18 AM
6

I mean this in the sense that women don't tend to have to make tough decisions the same way a man does, this is one of the things that makes me envy women a lot. maybe, if they have loving parents that continue to support them into adulthood. im 27 and this has been the first year since i can remember that i didnt have to make at least one really difficult decision. A woman can be emotionally venerable but still strong, where as for a man being seen as weak once can ruin you, a woman can be beau…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 05:11 AM
9

im not sure how this is going to come across, but what alleviates the pressure is saying "no" to unrealistic expectations. look perfectly put together and feminine all the time- no. let people be upset. i dont have the energy everyday to do that after taking care of my actual responsibilities. work full time and do all the cooking and cleaning at home- no. unless im living alone, no. everyone living in the home can contribute to the work that needs to be done in the home. sure, theres pressure. …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 04:55 AM
1

🎶and i promise to pay for your therapy...🎶
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 04:32 AM
1

being vulnerable about how i feel is difficult in general, but id say feelings of self-doubt are the most difficult to be open about. i think it would at least temporarily crush me if he ever confirmed my self-doubt.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 04:26 AM
1

And the makeup thing is nebulous too. Women don't have to wear make up and I've worked with women in professional settings who didn't wear makeup, its not required. yeah makeup is a weird one. the expectations vary so much profession to profession and subculture to subculture. where i live, people typically expect it, and are harsh when you dont wear it. i dont, personally, and ive found that if i respond by saying that im allergic to some of the common ingredients in makeup (which is actually t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 06:52 PM
8

the "intuition" is not "female" or "magic". intuition is a way to describe your sense of how things will pan out based your pattern recognition of someone else's behavior, obivious (choices of words and actions) and subtle (tones and mannerisms). some woman (and men) have the patience and the observational skills to have intuition, and some dont. some examples of what im talking about: 1) i rarely get a distictively bad vibe from a person (male or female) when i first meet them, and when i do, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:22 PM
3

no, no thats not what i mean. its very rare that the thing hes done or said is wrong. so like, for example, i had a family member pass away a couple years ago, and i was really struggling with grief internally (my emotional state doesnt show a lot on the outside most of the time). when my husband would ask what he could do to help, id say i wasnt sure what would help. about a month later he asked why i wasnt doing chores i said that i would do, and i broke down and finally told him i was having …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 04:40 AM
7

im not good at telling people how i feel unless they ask me. so if my husband is doing/saying something thats really frustrating me or hurting my feelings (generally something thats not objectively wrong), it typically takes me about 2-3 weeks before i tell him, and by then im way more upset than i wouldve been if id just said something the first time. this really frustrates him because hed much rather me tell him the first time, which is totally valid. its somthing im working on and getting bet…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:18 AM
1

in that case i think it depends. theres an expectation as a woman to look "presentable", and if you dont, youre considered generally considered lazy. that generally means clothes that look pleasant on your particular body as well as some makeup. i wouldnt consider that "sexualizing" oneself as a woman. and then you can go beyond that to look sexual particularly so. sometimes its a means by which to attract sexual attention, and other times is like a power thing to show other women you are better…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 09:53 PM
1

yeah thats pretty much what id consider the standard definition. maybe a little extreme- i dont see women dressing like strippers where i currently live.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 09:37 PM
1

im asking what you specifically mean by it because ive heard people give many different personal definitions. i know what it means literal definition wise. but i generally go with whatever definition the person im talking to had these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 09:30 PM
1

exactly lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:16 PM
2

yeah my mother was one of those women. i started resenting the "women are wonderful" mentality pretty young.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:15 PM
1

yeah, i grew up in tennessee, and it was humid there but not as hot. i definitely prefer the whether there to here in texas. at least the summer there was a reasonabke length of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:09 PM
1

for real. especially in the humid regions 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:02 PM
6

specifically when it comes to leaving your children in the care of other adults, i think the bigger issue is that many people dont realize that women can be dangerous too. parents need to vet other parents, regardless of whether they are male or female, before leaving their own children with them. as someone who was creeped on as a kid by some of my friends' parents, i wish my parents had vetted my friends' parents before leaving me with them. that said, the safe parents were some of my favorite…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 03:59 PM
1

its supposed to be reminiscent of "boys will be boys". some people take it seriously, others are joking around.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 02:09 PM
6

it depends on your definition of revealing, but i wear a lot of crop tops because 1) my waist is long i guess and regular length tops look somewhat cropped on me anyway, and 2) its hot as hell where i live and airflow on my stomach and back helps me stay cool outside. shorts- same thing. i dont worry about cleavage showing unless its dramatic, because its too hot to layer tops anyway. in the cold months i wear as much as the temperature allows. i wish i could wear a cozy sweater everyday, but su…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 05:54 AM
1

the only time ive seen this dynamic work really well is when the "ex" spouse had passed away (no divorce) and the new spouse legally adpoted the kids and generally liked children.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 03:18 AM
1

oh cool! sounds like a good one
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:55 AM
1

looked it up- sounds right up my alley. thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:53 AM
1

ooo thank you, that sounds cool!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:51 AM
3

yall im about to have time to do some heavy reading for the first time in a long time! anyone want to give me book recs? ive enjoyed all genres but i do have a special place in my heart for scifi and non fiction science whatnot. ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 04:19 AM
1

there are all sorts of men out there, g. sex is generally a "need" for them (and for women), but that looks wildly different guy to guy. i know this is anecdotal, but for example, both me and my husband have healthy sex drives, but we dont have sex all the time. sometimes is mutiple times a week, sometimes its once a month (and no, im not the only one who's "not up for it"- its about 50/50). it just depends on whats going on in life (like stess, illness, being overly busy etc). but the closet we…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:51 AM
1

aww thats so sweet 🥹
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:43 AM
1

man ill have to check out that channel. i used to watch the news religiously as a kid, but it started to wear me down when i was about 18-19.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:41 AM
16

the traits that people respect are not gender specific. or even age specific. human beings are cabable of being respectable people. there arent any virtues a woman is capable of that a man is not and vise versa. human being are human beings. are you trying to ask how women build rapport with other women? because if youre just asking about what we find respectable in one another, youre not going to find some character trait that a man cant have.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 03:14 AM
1

2 points. first- thats what i was saying, that she prefers equality until times of high stress. also this is just a hypothetical combination of traits. second- there are other forms relationships can take, this was just one example.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:46 AM
2

cannot have a negative balance, but husband scores a -9... oh well
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:02 AM
1

well thats good at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 04:03 PM
1

that sucks 😓
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:58 PM
3

in mental health circles that would be considered a sign of a trauma bond. werid in the sense that its painful/uncomfortable, but not in the sense that its a fairly common occurence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:53 PM
3

if you got a real girlfriend and the novelty wore off, your sense of her humanity wouldnt be wearing off with it. the novelty wearing off isnt the part that concerns me. what concerns me is the possibililty of a person going from feeling like they have an interpersonal connection to realizing that they never did in the first place- that the realtional connection was only one way. i dont know what that would do to someone psychologically speaking. im not saying thats a surefire outcome, but its o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:34 PM
3

my concern is that it would backfire. like, the guy thinks he has a companion and then realizes at some point that the novelty wore off and it doesnt feel anything close to human interaction. the idea of that makes me sad. but i dont have any ill will towards the idea itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 06:59 AM
1

so what is your view on what makes relationships better for both people?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 04:11 AM
2

thats fair. i tend towards treating ideologies similarly to philosophies- and ive always heavily relied on historical background and cycles of thought. a big part of why i participate in places like this is to narrow down what to look into when it comes to "modern" history.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 04:09 AM
0

im getting lost on the points youre making. if feminism is independance from men, why would the feminist wife be demanding that her husband give her something instead of getting it for herself in this hypothetical? also, if feminism is independance from men, and thats not what men want, then why would the man be upset that his wife was depending on him for something instead of providing it for herself in this hypothetical? im confused and missing your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:25 AM
2

One of the problems with "feminism" is the stated goal vs. what the movement actually is in practice. You can be adamant that anything non egalitarian is non feminist, but in reality plenty of people who call themselves feminists are non egalitarian, and plenty of the rest of the movement welcomes them. yeah thats why i try to couch my views in terms of "in my opinion". i think my view on femininsm is... idk what to call it other than "older". like an older version. so from that stand point, i c…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:21 AM
2

fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 03:14 AM
-2

Why would following that path make a relationship better? not all men were against the movements that gave womens the same rights. they wouldnt have been able to succeed otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:15 AM
1

responsibilities can be negotiated for the sake of support and efficiency without sacrificing the egalitarian aspect of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:11 AM
1

i understand what youre meaning, but egalitarianism is not a subcat of feminism. you could argue that they are adjacent or that feminism is a subcat of egalitarianism.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 01:09 AM
2

not sure this would fly as an actual post, but i want to hear your opinions... to set the stage: feminism ≠ misandry imo. if someone is a misandrist and calls themselves a feminist, thats a lie in my books. on that note: feminism becomes egalitarianism in a romantic relationship, where both people are equally responsible for all aspects of the relationship. agree? disagree? CMV?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 12:56 AM
4

exactly. what im saying is that insercurity develops due to factors other than high testosterone. confidence issues cannot be a direct result of high testosterone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 04:59 PM
24

an organized agruement with definitions, sources, and clear claims 🥲🥹 OP this is beautifully laid out. okay for the arguement itself... first: equality > benevolent sexism > hostile sexism. both benevolent sexism and equality have pros and cons for women depending on their personalities, their ideologies, and their unique combination of the two. obviously women who prefer traditional gender roles are going to have a preference for benevolent sexism when it comes to behaviors of their bf/spouse t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 04:56 PM
5

blaming your “high testosterone” for how low confidence to piggy back off of this, high testosterone generally increases levels of confidence in both men and women. so high testosterone being responsible for low confidence or insecurity is a literal oxymoron.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 04:18 PM
5

But the reality is every man deep down feels like a loser if is not getting women or has no ability to get women. gay men? asexual men? ??? It's an innate biological reason. Knowing that women don't want your semen, don't want to be impregnated by you, gives men a subconscious and or conscious feeling that they are not good enough in this world. i feel like you might be saying this exclusively based off of your own experience. sure there are probably going to be some other guys out there that fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 01:16 PM
9

Are there women who struggle with attracting general male attention? (e.g. receiving compliments, being noticed by men in general yes Are there women who struggle with attracting sexual/romantic male attention? (e.g. being asked out, being approached for a date) yes not something ive personally experienced. the women ive known who have experienced this are some combination of: conventionally unattractive, emotionally immature to an obvious degree, either extremely shy/silent or extremely outgoin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/24 06:40 AM
1

My mom shouted constantly at me growing up and it fucked me up incredibly bad, I'm incredibly sensitive to noises now and I think she's the main reason. literally same. i can handle difficult conversations calmly, but dont yell at me or im done.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 06:42 PM
2

it seems like no matter what you do, say, or have done and been known for as a man (being pro-women and not having toxic masculine traits), women will still treat you as a man-o-sphere type of man, and it's perfectly normal i feel like this is either the women treating you this way is either imaturity/short-sightedness on their part, or you have behaviors youre not self aware of that makes you seem this way. or both idk. its like equating feninist with misandrist. some "feminists" are misandrist…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 06:38 PM
1

i think that the fantasy of saving a guy is an extreme version of the desire of having a realtionship where each of you cares for and brings out the best in one another. and it might come from women who subconsciously believe that no man will already be that person when they meet, but hopes that she can help him become that kind of person. idk, ive kind of dealt with the opposite fantasy of being saved myself. which i think comes from years of being hyper independant while taking care of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 06:33 PM
3

would you let your man go to the stripclub with his friends? i would actually. it doesnt bother me when he thinks someone else is attractive, and i trust him. my one requirement is that he better bring back some funny stories. i think he might have once for a bachelor party, but i cant remember. i cant speak to the club thing. they are way too loud for me. i think the closest thing to a club that ive been to is a crazy house party. this is why i said "if you dont like the way you see women treat…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 03:51 PM
3

yall are insecure because every single one of you don't like how your face looks since all of you hide your acne scars or less than perfect faces behind makeup (me over here liking my face just fine, rarely ever wearing makeup, and getting irritated when people think its lazy of me for not wearing makeup). but thats not an insecurity of mine. in fact, i dont have a single female married friend who feels insecure without makeup on, or even wears it regularly. it perfectly acceptable for a dude to…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 03:20 PM
2

the only time pick up lines have worked on me is when they were used as funny icebreakers, not "game". the ability to have a good conversation is way more attractive. or even just a pleasant one. flirting is much more attractive when it tasteful and worked into conversation. i prefer to be spoken to as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 02:46 AM
–

no because kids are a must for me and not marrying complicates things when it comes to that. if i was cool with living child-free it wouldnt matter to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 09:22 PM
–

could you define "sexualize themselves" for me rq? like wearing sexy clothes? then i can answer both
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 09:04 PM
–

yes and yes
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 09:00 PM
–

same honestly
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:58 PM
–

Anytime you try to have a conversation about women's self sexualization, unwanted sexual attention, etc. Women will universally say how men hitting on them or flirting with them isn't wanted or positive. I've always maintained that yes it is because you'll hear from the small group of women who DON'T experience it and they lament it. other than the obvious -different people are going to feel differently about things because not everyone is the same- i dont think a random guy hitting on you (as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 08:56 PM
1

then no way lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:39 PM
1

are those of us who are currently married supposed to be single in this hypothetical scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:37 PM
1

💔 i have one of those anniversaries as well
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:26 PM
2

i wish i could spend another day taking care of my youngest brother when he was a toddler. hes 14 now and still the sweetest kid, but taking care of him when he was little are still my happiest memories to this day.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:23 PM
2

i wouldnt stay with someone if we had crazy enough fights that left us no longer willing to care for each other in basic ways. almost always, yes. the only time ive done nything close to "not making him food aswell" was when he complained that he felt like he was always cleaning up after me, and so i stopped cleaning up after him for awhile, while continuing to clean up after myself to show him how much i was doing. but that was because i couldnt think of any other way to show him that i was, in…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 05:14 PM
5

legally being bound to another person ≠ committed relationship with another person. waiving your rights to divorce would not prevent either party from abandoning the relationship if they chose to do so. they simply would not be able to legally separate themselves from the other person, or legally bind themselves to another person. a committed relationship rests solely on the intentions and actions of each person to the other. those intentions and action can always be abandoned somehow unless one…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:28 AM
1

gawd my dumbass thought you were refering to deadpool 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ i looked it up and now i really wish you just hated deadpool for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:09 AM
1

my revenge fantasy is the movie suckerpunch.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:03 AM
1

dude i actually laughed out loud 😂 ill put that on my todo list for tomorrow
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:01 AM
2

yeah, had to find a way to subtly represent sass lol -hes my height (5' 6" ish) -dad bod (i think?) but the strong kind. i forget the name of the body type, but its the one that both builds/maintains muscle and puts on fat easily. -makes a bit more money than me. we do fine. -couldnt care less about sports and not a big fan of exercise, but will for the sake of his health -not violent towards people at all. will fuck up an inanimate object that needed to be thrown away anyway. -love the outdoors…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:46 PM
1

yeah, just like some women be out there ruining stuff too. it generally take about a year for a woman's body to get fully back to her "new" normal. i think that, combined with some women not taking care of themselves makes men afraid that their wives will let themselves go. and thus the misconceptions and miscommunications begin. i wish we were generally more educated on how human bodies work. it would save us all a lot of time and stress.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:57 PM
1

same. there are the ignorant outliers though. and they are typically louder than the men who are reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:51 PM
1

some men do expect that though, either because they are ignorant of the physical process of pregnancy and birth, or because they dont care. just like some women use it as an excuse to not ever lose weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:49 PM
1

toxic masculinity refers to the toxic version of traits that are considered masculine. those traits are generally neutral unto themselves, but can be expressed in both toxic and positive ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:47 PM
2

there are always people who use facts as an excuse to not take care of their bodies when they actually can. not everyone is like that though.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:44 PM
2

I have a hard time understanding that last line of thought. being pregnant/giving birth permanently widens the pelvis, stretches out the skin of the abdomen, and tears the linea alba. thats why the female body never looks exactly like it did post pregnancy/birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:42 PM
2

its not unreasonable. but there are unreasonable ideas, thoughts and actions that he could choose to have/do. safely losing weight takes time, especially when you arent able to get proper amounts of sleep and your hormones havent stabalized postpartum. healing from a physical trauma takes time, which means being able to exercise again takes time. also, (if she is breastfeeding) losing too much weight too fast can greatly reduce the amount of breast milk she produces.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:39 PM
1

i think generally people with perspectives that are more balanced avoid social media more than people with perspectives that are more polar.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:19 PM
7

josh was fine until he hit his wife. violence is a no go. paul sounds lovely and super easy to get along with. definitely my fav. tbh kinda the male version of myself. adam is fine as long as he doesnt mind me disagreeing with his political views. if we cant have respectful interactions about it hes a no go. jake is automatically out because being a mother is my dream. not worried about the weight unless it causes his health to suffer and he still wont try to lose some to take care of themselves…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:07 PM
1

right, thats just the simplest way i could phrase it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 05:01 AM
9

as a super nerdy woman, i can verify that a lot of us do not look the part. my apperance style is very simple and clean. my clothes are all either athletic/running style, loose fitting/soft casual, or simple/soft feminine (like flower print, flowy or knit cardigans etc). the closest i get to "nerdy" is an oversize flannel over t-shirt or the occasional band tee. i have long hair that i wear down or in a clip, simple/minimal makeup. im considered "socially well adjusted", but i kind of just float…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 04:49 PM
4

i think i might have a unique take. im not against prenups. heres my experience: when my now husband and i were dating and talking about marriage, he told me that i would need to sign a prenup before hand and explained the details of why (too much to fit here, but basically theres equity shared by him and his relatives). i was fine with that- seemed like a green flag to me that the family want to protect each others' well being. his dad talk to me about it at one point and explain that they woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 03:18 PM
2

ill say either that i dont get lonely quickly or that im generally content with solitude. if that doesnt make sense to them, ill explain that most of my hobbies are solitary hobbies and i genuinely enjoy spending a lot of time on them. people tend to accept "positive" descriptions on introversion much easier than "negative" ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 07:02 PM
–

im only wary of men who act "off". for example: a 30 yr old man that seems to have the emotional regulation capabilities of a 12 yr old. theres something off there and i dont want to find out what it is. but generally no. im not really more wary of men i dont know than i am of woman i dont know. if im alone in an elevator with a man ive never seen in my life, ill pay more attention to his body language for the first 30 seconds, but thats because i physically couldnt take on the average guy if he…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:41 PM
2

Most relationships are basically between two people who are mutually using each other. In a "healthy'" relationship, people use each other equally, and in an "unhealthy" one, one party gets used more than the other. I know most people won't want to hear this, but as long as a relationship is transactional, it's not based on love, and there's no way around that. i agree with what you said about unhealthy relationships. but something youre missing from the healthy relationships is that, partners w…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 04:29 PM
2

Transactional means expecting something in return, which isnt love. are you not expecting love in return either? because relationships are loving someone and trusting that they will love you as well. also love is not just a feeling. its a behavior- how you treat another person. you cant truely love someone without treating them with respect. love involves trust, and trust involves expectations. any expectation can be viewed as transactional, or it can be viewed as a natural part of communication…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 03:31 PM
10

i stopped dating when i was pretty young because i realized that, deep down, it was making me miserable. stopped looking for a partner completely. i just wanted to see if i was happier staying single, and i was! i was open to dating someone, after id gotten to know him and if i thought it would be a good match. but i wasnt looking. two years later i met and became friends with my now husband. dating him made me feel completely different. i was happier with him than i was single. all that to say,…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:58 AM
–

so is- "I'm not sure why women think "I'd rather be alone than with someone I'm unattracted to" is a gotcha if men do it." unless youre basing this on statistics somehow, youre basing it on your personal experiences. i assumed it was the latter, so i offered person experiences that could potentially fill in the "im not sure why..." part.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 01:55 PM
–

ive known a few women i would consider 10s in apperance- they all had either really quiet and/or independent personalities- more serious people. they all worked really hard and were very interested in the challenge of their work, not so interested in handouts. i guess i should also mention ive never personally met a dumb 10. the most beautiful women ive met have all been really intelligent so far.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 01:47 PM
–

I'm not sure why women think "I'd rather be alone than with someone I'm unattracted to" is a gotcha if men do it. almost everytime ive heard a guy say this irl, the guy could be a pretty attractive person (and maybe was at some point), but has really let themselves go. like badly. and they act super self important and resentful. so idk how much of that is a gotcha, and how much is just being mentally befudled by the scene. the few times ive heard an attractive guy say it, hes either braging to o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 01:42 PM
–

yeah ive noticed this too. one of my brothers, in particular, is one of the most emotionally intelligent people ive known, and he and i get the same "gut feelings" and "intuitions" about things and people. our back and forth looks like: him: that guy gave me the creeps me: same, that why i got us outta there or me: that person seems really unsettled and trying to mask it... i wonder whats up with that him: i was about to say the same
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 12:40 AM
7

But..... Dating is not traditional. Dating in itself literally broke the traditions. i agree however- a man being "traditional" in a dating relationship and a man being "traditional" in a ltr/marriage are 2 very different things. i would also like to know who these women are- most of the women ive known want to split things 50/50 because of their beliefs related to feminism and equality. they dont want to be "forced" to be "traditional" women who stay at home to cook, clean, and have babies. are…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 04:33 PM
2

i dont know about you guys, but my "gut instinct"// "intuition" - whatever - has actually saved my ass a few times. and every. single. time. ive ignored my "intuition", i ended up being right and regreted it. its mostly just paying attention to body language, tone of voice, and other behavioral patterns
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 04:18 PM
3

i think, generally, the advice is to seek out people with the same interests as you to form a social circle for yourself. and them through that social circle, you will have opportunities to meet new people (friends of friends) and expand your social circle beyond people who have the same interests to include people with different interests. and then you can continue to meet different people over time through these aquaintences and friends. eg: my husband and i met through a mutual friend. i shar…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/24 03:49 PM
2

i have only ever known one woman who was in a ltr that thought about relationships this way. she is awful, truely. but i feel like i wouldve know more by now if this was more common than not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 04:01 PM
1

You should always put your needs first, and if 100% of your needs are not being met, then you owe it to yourself to seek better. i agree if its specifically about relational needs and not wants. but on the other hand, meeting each others' needs is something that is generally learned over time. its a big part of how the relationship grows into something special. no one is going to know how to meet your relational needs until theyve gotten to know you, and that takes time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 12:54 AM
14

i think the difference between healthy masculinity and toxic masculinity is levels of maturity/wisdom/self-discipline, not levels of testosterone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 06:04 PM
8

for context: the bare minimum in my mind is treating me with basic respect and consideration. acting like we live together (because we do), treating shared spaces like shared spaces (instead of his space that i use sometimes), politeness, respect for boundaries etc. a few "above and beyond" examples: i had a particularly bad bout of insomnia last month and was really stuggling. he was going to have a friend over on my day off work, and asked if i would be okay with that. i was confused and told …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 05:24 PM
2

my partner has my passcode to my phone. idc if he uses it. 🤷‍♀️ not a big deal to me
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 04:44 PM
2

right. thats why whats creepy to you might not be creepy to me and vise versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 03:08 PM
1

i want to clarify before i say anything else that im not disagreeing with you at all. what you said here is basically what ive observed to a t. this isnt my favorite approach either, both on the giving and receiving end- its usually out of necessity and when ive already tried every none triggering thing i know of. So a demand for "vulnerability" can come across as you trying to force him to share something he's not ready to because he hasn't had time to process it - and that can feel like being …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 02:44 PM
6

theres are different kinds of creepy. but basically, something creepy is something that triggers your fear instinct. neither being interested in sex nor uninterested in sex are inherantly creepy. my best guess is the "creepy" part was either how the comment was phrased, or other things you said in the same comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 05:11 AM
7

im not sure how to compares these two. if a friend goes into a bunch of debt, it has no affect on me. if my spouse does, it dramatically affects me. if my friend is being grumpy, i can always go home if it bothers me. if my partner is being grumpy i have to leave my home to get away. the absolute line for me is my partner absolutely doesnt show respect for me as a person and/or his spouse. that can look very different depending on how it manifests. i hope his is the same for me. but there would …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 03:14 AM
4

for me it means be honest. "i need you to be willing to be vurnerable with me for a moment" = "i can tell that, either ive upset you, or youre already upset and taking it out on me, and that youre not being upfront about it- and i cant read your mind"
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/24 02:36 AM
1

Ur just making up random scenarios the scenarios that i mentioned are ones that ive personally observed. i didnt mention any that i havent actually seen happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:53 PM
1

Well it doesn’t happen much as yall say it does. i never said how often ive seen it happen. Women are a lot more socially aware than men depends on the man and woman being compared I think if they cared, they can vet out manipulative men depends on the intelligence and maturity levels and of the man and woman in the senario. But a lot of women are superficial and turn a blind eye to it there are plenty of men and women who do this, yes
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:42 PM
1

i never said that was the only time women can be manipulated by men. giving one example of something very specific in the context of a specific topic doesnt mean that i think thats the only possibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 09:17 PM
1

gotcha 👍 thats how i felt at the time too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 05:40 PM
1

like i said earlier ive trusted my husband the most by far, and, for me, level of trust = level of my enjoyment of sexual whatnot. again, dont know how common or not that is. i dont think the others were necessarily bad or worse objectively speaking, but, personally, sexual activities arent my favorite unless i trust the other person deeply. so its difficult for me to answer that specific question because most of what i remember from the sexual side of the relationships with my exes is feeling a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 05:38 PM
3

an 18 year old thats never dated anybody doesnt know what signs to look for and avoid. if you miss the early signs, then you dont figure out a toxic guy is toxic until you get hurt. thats not stupidity, its just a lack of experience. if an 18 year old woman know the signs, theyve either been through some shit or seen some shit. men successfully get manipulated by women, women successfully get manipulated by men, the more naive, thr more likely to get manipulated. thats just how human being are.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:46 PM
3

What have you read? a lot of books and articles. a ton of history If women don't care why do they complain about the redpill im not every woman, and not every woman is me. i cant speak for all of us. how where you mocked? not being "feminine" enough- not wearing makeup, wearing practical clothes instead of a dress, being interested in science and math, not being shy and docile when a man is rude etc. "well maybe if you didnt look like a fucking boy people would like you more" -i dont look or dre…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:39 PM
10

bro 😂😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:58 AM
6

it includes that, but isnt limited to it. there are also the guys who are actually just creeps, will go after a young woman, and dip if shes got her shit together because shes not impressionable enough. i have seen that happen (mostly in hyper-religious communities).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:33 AM
2

this is something ive wondered about so much. the matrix was one of my favorite movies growing up. so "take the red pill" in my mind has always refered to taking responsibility for your life, rising above and living up to the potential within you, reguardless of how difficult it is. but when i read through rp stuff online, its mostly complaining about how "nothing will ever go well no matter what i do". the mixed signals are strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:19 AM
2

what on earth... no. So ladies is it true you lose respect and look down upon men who are willing to give you oral pleasure? if anything, i have more respect. The rationale is that it is a very "submissive" thing to do it can be. it can also totally not be. by doing this you will lose frame and the dominating/masculine frame in the relationship/situationship being afraid that a consensual sex act is going to imasculate you is not a dominating/masculine quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:10 AM
1

yes, but thats not what im refering to here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 07:00 AM
0

i think that applies when age does matter to a woman. some women want to be with someone who is her age. different people want different things. what i mentioned above are just my personal observations.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 06:27 AM
2

it varies i suppose. the shaming ive experienced irl is mostly mocking. but i didnt give a rats ass about it personally. its hard to be effectively shamed when you dont care. but what ive read goes deeper than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 06:13 AM
9

a man being interested in a woman who is younger isnt inherantly creepy in and of itself. whats creepy is when a man avoids women of any age who will hold him accountable to his word and for his actions. personally, the men ive met like this only go after naive women, which generally means young. that is creepy. if youre a good man, and you want a wife that can have a lot of children during the years when its the least risky for her to get pregnant and give birth, thats not creepy, thats just pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 06:04 AM
1

Red pill is about understanding women not shaming them there seem to be men who call themselves rp who would agree, and others who would disagree, based off what ive seen/read. there seems to be a wide variety of veiws on this within the community. not necessarily saying its rp itself, but there are individuals that call themselves rp and shame women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 04:23 AM
5

i say that- but now that im thinking about it they each talked about wanting to get married. but my husband was the only one that traditionally proposed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 04:18 AM
3

the one i married. i broke up with the others.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 04:08 AM
4

What does "not many" even mean? Please don't wiggle. it depends on how you define sex. i was absolutely pertrified of the idea of getting pregnant by someone i wasnt 100% sure i wanted to be with long term. but 3 if you dont specifically mean intercourse. dated another mostly long distance and ended before we had the chance to "do" anything. oldest = 12 years older, youngest - 1 year older i was friends with all of them first. ive trusted my husband the most by far, and level of trust = level of…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:20 AM
6

tbh the personality thing has always been is extremely important to me and i dont know how common or not that is. i grew up with a bunch of crazy people and would rather have been alone forever than be with someone who wasnt very even keel.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:02 AM
3

not many, different heights and ages (my husband is only person ive been with that is my height and not taller than me), and they looked pretty different in my opinion, but id say they were in the same range of attractiveness in my eyes. i have a hard time judging whether or not someone is attractive in a general sense (and not just to me), but thats also something ive never cared about so idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 02:58 AM
14

ive dated guys that i dont consider worse in any way to my husband. the big difference is that my husband wanted the same thing in life that i did, and our personalities meshed better.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 02:29 AM
1

maybe youve been trying to make people with the wrong kind of unhingedness laugh 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 02:06 AM
2

You are supposed to say something unhinged like "and that's why you can't get no b*tches" or something.. oh sorry 😂 (this actually made laugh pretty hard- thank you lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 01:46 AM
2

RP is not about validating feelings, its about understanding observed behaviors. i wasnt implying anything about rp. i was refering specifically to toxic people i have met.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:27 PM
2

theres a big difference in trying to understand how things actually are, and deeply needing assert your personal feelings as fact, reguardless of logic and reasoning or lack thereof. i was refering to the later.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 09:32 PM
2

as in society has largly failed us. like previous generations didnt get their shit together very well.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 09:15 PM
–

i think different people have different definitions of "needy". like, i dont want my partner to treat me like a mother instead of a partner, but if hes having a bad day and needs company and validation and some help and whatnot- theres nothing wrong with that. thats just being a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:41 PM
2

the worlds hardest working washing machine if only the name wasnt already taken you couldve called it "scrub daddy" 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 03:15 PM
2

homie i was just refering to all the bed sheets that would need to be laundered 😂 go live your dream bud no shade
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 02:52 PM
1

i only know feminists are the same- very strongly against both misogyny and misandry. i avoid women who say they hate all men and men who say they hate all women. i dont see the point of trying to get along with either.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 02:50 PM
1

(weezes in asthmatic laughter)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:43 AM
1

so. much. laundry.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:37 AM
3

man i was just scrolling on through and this got me lmao 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:34 AM
1

I’ve seen more differences in behavior and beliefs between individuals than between the sexes as a group. same girl same
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:31 AM
2

and now i will too lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:12 AM
2

😂😂 thats amazing
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 06:07 AM
1

what did mikey do? i live under a rock
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:58 AM
1

We are all valuable. Every life is precious. Everyone is worth of love. 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:27 AM
1

respect and understanding does go a really long way tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:25 AM
3

couldnt tell you if our ideas and beliefs aline, but i can 100% tell you that this society isnt "good enough" for any of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:24 AM
4

this is the deadly sin of every toxic man and woman ive met. the insatiable need to be right does some scary shit to people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:21 AM
2

under rated option tbh. especially for hyper independent people
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:13 AM
2

same
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:12 AM
2

yeah i think of labels as shorthand. but it only works so well.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 05:11 AM
0

some men were assholes, and some women were assholes, and then shit got complicated real quick 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:35 AM
2

my husband doesnt either, but the way he thinks of women and treats them is what i consider feminism. he doesnt gaf about the pills stuff, but he would be more rp leaning if he did. but hes strongly against both misogyny and misandry equally id say. i think what it really comes down to is character. people with different opinions and good charater are going to get along just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:33 AM
1

no youre good. basic respect and compassion is a personaly rule for how i treat peiple that i meet. deeper love and respect happens as i get to know somebody and trust them. the only difference between friendship and romantic/sexual realtionships in my mind are the added flavor of romance, attraction, and sex. love and respect in a relastionship is "im here for you and i support you" hence why trust is nesessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 04:30 AM
1

similar here kinda, im a feminist and am very strongly against misandry. thats not the solution- its just another big ass problem
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 03:39 AM
1

i just keep my hair long because its easier. my hair has serious attitude problems when its short ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 03:11 AM
1

yeah, i chose purple pill instead of no pill because i have seen things in both sides irl that work and i feel like it represents my attitude better when discussing the topic. but the way i actually live life is more similar to no pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 03:09 AM
2

i feel strongly that different lifestyles work for different people. there are things that i agree with and disagree with personally on both sides. but to each his own.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 03:02 AM
2

it me
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 02:55 AM
6

A more accurate internal representation of reality. underrated priority fr
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 01:00 AM
1

To have men and women not be seen as enemies but as partners. big agree
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 12:58 AM
1

that sounds like the beginning of a fire metal ballad ngl
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 12:33 AM
1

i think its starts with basic respect and compassion when i meet someone. like "im human, youre human, we are the same" level consideration. and i think the deeper respect and love develop together over time. trust plays a big role in whether or not i develop the love/respect. level of turstworthyness = level of love/respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 12:24 AM
1

yeah it is interesting. ive always wondered what people mean when they say they prefer love over respect or vise versa. ive just never been able to make myself see them as separate things in an interpersonal relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 12:15 AM
3

bargain is to why your no is not a no. one of those turn tail and run red flags right there.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 11:05 PM
4

this killed me 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 11:02 PM
2

yeah, i figured it was probably a joke at the time, but it just gave me the worst gut feeling ever. something in his tone was off- idk how to describe it. yeah, i ended up marrying an introverted guy. (big surprise) when things didnt work out with introverted guys, it was typically mutual. like one of us was moving far away etc. and the relationship hadnt gotten to a serious point yet. typically very peaceful. the only time it wasnt peaceful was with this guy who just could not make up his mind …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 09:52 PM
1

i dont see how love and respect can exist separately from one another. they are intertwined in my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 09:30 PM
4

i was talking to a guy at one point who was really friendly, funny and such. after the first date we were talking on the phone and he asked if i wanted to come over to his place and watch a movie. i said after i got to know him better- that i prefered not to go to guys houses until i felt like i knew them well enough. and he replied "haha, why not? its not like im gonna rape you or anything." never spoke to him again after that. dated this other guy for awhile that id been friends with and reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 09:05 PM
1

humor, cleanliness, intelligence, kindness, and courage. cleanliness is the one thing i cant go without in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 05:33 PM
6

And those babies are not being born by the holy spirit. 😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 06:35 AM
1

personality doesnt really come into play in my mind, because all personalities have the potential to be good or bad or neutral. -treats people with general kindness and respect. -honest with himself/sets healthy boundaries for himself. -takes care of himself- is willing to help take care of the people he loves when its necessary. -sets realistic goals for himself and works towards them. -has a moral code/code of ethics of some kind that he is able to articulate. -has specific interests/hobbies t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 12:24 PM
3

imo marriage is a realtionship that the law is required to respect. it was important to my husband that we were legally married- i was fine with it either way. Now marriage last an average of 7 years lmao, utterly useless. i think a lot of people get married just to get married. not the best idea honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 03:51 AM
4

you shouldnt consider marriage if you dont want to get married. 🤷‍♀️ nothing wrong with not getting married. if you do actually want to: every marriage is different. there is not a one size fits all. in a healthy marriage- it is a partnership. you work together to make both of your lives better. it is peaceful between the two of youl- you divide and conquor, go on adventures, build a whole life together. when one person hits a rough patch, (health issues, job loss etc.) the other has your back a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 03:27 AM
–

so, if i want to be friends with a guy who is gay, im homophobic? but also, if i refuse to be friends with any and all gay men, im homophobic, right? (because thats actual homophobia) what the hell? why cant i be friends men who are gay? how it that automatically homophobic of me- because im female? also if you are insinuating that the "insult a woman hurls at you when she gets rejected" is "are you gay?" --- that shouldnt insult you unless youre homophobic yourself. right? i would like to add t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 04:50 AM
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many of us have and do, we just dont bitch about it. for the most part, we just keep it between us.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 03:48 AM
0

You try living under communism for a few years. Then, once it ends, go through the brutal literal violence of the ashes. And then, once you make it out of that, suddenly westoid feminist ideas invade your country and you become demonized for being male. To say that the world has wronged me is an understatement, to be honest. holy shit dude, are you okay? thats a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 06:32 PM
1

this is based off what ive observed: rp: men are masculine, women are feminine. there are positive and negative versions of both. heavy on the nature side of the "nature vs nurture" debate. bp: masculinity and femininity are determined by things other than gender. there are positive and negative versions of both. heavy on the nurture side of the "nature vs nurture" debate. pp: (me) i think whether or not a person is masculine and/or feminine is a combo of both nature and nurture- and that combo …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 04:33 PM
3

from what i can tell, people have different definitions of "traditional gender roles" depending on whether both men and women are valued. (warning- super boiled down for the sake of not writing an essay//monologuing) men value women, and women value men: men: handle finances and protect the well-being of the family unit. they help with managing the household (eg work done in the home that is unpaid) and nuturing the well-being of the family unit (quality time spent with family members) women: ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 12:11 AM
4

i think i could steelman different points of view, but theres a lot of variety within each, so i think id have to subcatagorize before steelmanning. eg: there are rp guys that value women and have traditional views on gender roles. and there are rp guys who resent women, and have traditional views on gender roles. those two points of view contradict each other from my perspective. also eg: there are feminists who want both men and women to be safe, supported, and heard. and there are feminists w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 06:25 PM
3

another woman whose BF came looking for her in a rage assuming she was cheating on him, again because she didn't reply to a text fast enough. god one of my exes would do this when i got really sick and it took me a few weeks of sleeping a lot to recover. he would just blow up my phone and call me screaming. that relationship did not last long. i need to be able to sleep when im sick.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:29 PM
4

to quote a conversation i had with a (guy) friend awhile back that i would "wingman" for (lets call him stan)... stan: well shit, its not gonna work with her me: why not?? stan: she immediately responded to me and double texted me: okay big deal- shes super hot stan: yeah, but shes obviously clingy and i dont do clingy me: 🙄😂 not the only time ive witnessed that irl, but definitely the funniest
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 04:21 AM
2

strongwilled, independent men and strongwilled, independent women make the best allies when they both prioritize treating other people with dignity and respect. i dont know if thats an unpopular opinion, but ive never heard it said.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:58 AM
0

yes! ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:38 AM
3

its been awhile since ive been single, but here goes... hate is the wrong word. more like dread. i didnt date much back when i was single. ive never been the type to catch feelings quickly, and after a few bad dating experiences where the guys got offended that i hadnt caught feelings yet (after a short period of time), i would only date a guy after i had caught feelings. i love my friends a lot, girls and guys. so when a guy friend would confess feelings for me, my heart would sink, because i k…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 03:05 PM
8

:( theres no info on the parameters of the study. couldve been 10, 1,000, 100,000 participents. no info about age, demographics or anything. it sources a journal, but not a specific article. that journal contains a ton of articles. there would been no way to verify this info unless you read though article after article until you found the information.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 06:05 AM
20

sources for these studies? i would genuinely like to read them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 12:40 AM
3

😬 yeah thats not my fav content (unless is bread recipes- ill put up with almost anything for a good bread recipe). but like, one of my sis-in-law is a tradwife type and shes lovely. super supportive of women in careers, super supportive of sah wives/moms. never once has devalued me in any way for focusing on a career. and then i have plenty feminist type friends who whole heartedly support women who choose the tradwife lifestyle. i feel like it shouldnt be so difficult to get along lol. but it …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 12:35 AM
3

barring fake people being fake, it confuses me too. the only time tradwife types ruffle my feathers is when they imply or out right say that "real" women dont live any other way. but i havent come across many of those, and the few i have come across are just generally mean to everyone for some reason. it works really well for some couples and doesnt for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 05:54 PM
7

IVF pregnancies/births would also be included.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:09 PM
–

thats not the way it is with the couples that i know. the women i know that are married/in committed relationships think of their partner as their best friend, and their partners feel the same. they spend a ton of time together
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:54 PM
1

im starting to feel like i live in a different world over here. most of the single men and women ive met as an adult were strongly childfree. not trying to make light of what youre saying, i think i just have lived in a very different sub culture. also need to amend what i was saying ealier- my husbands best friend really wants kids, but his wife is more on the childfree side. neither of them are mad about it and married each other anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:30 AM
1

okay i get that. i tend to be on the utilitarian side, but it ended up looking like staying single until i met someone who also genuinely wanted to have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:22 AM
1

so its like a utilitarian pros vs cons thing? i dont mean that in a negative way btw
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:17 AM
1

that sounds kinda awful. ive always wondered how people who dont want kids end up with people who do. do they just not talk about it before committing/marrying?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:11 AM
1

my perspective is probably different because ive only seen examples of women neglecting their children (pretty severely) to focus all their attention on their husbands (and thats limited to my parents and my best friend's parents), partners who both really want children/to be parents, relationships where both partners are child free and love it, and partners who are abusive to each other and their children. ive never actually seen an example of a relationship where a woman wants kids and the man…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:00 AM
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i think thats where the idea of sacrifice come in. (and why its so important that both partners actually want to have children). eg. if the child is really sick, it should be the priority of both partners to make sure the child gets healthy again (or is at least loved and taken care of if its a terminal illness). but generally, unless there is a crisis of some kind, you can balance and divide your attention and efforts between your partner and child/children. it takes work for sure, but its poss…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:41 AM
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i think good partners that have children work together so that neither their children, nor either of them have to be "put first" while someone else is neglected. good partners with children work together to care for their children and each other respectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:33 AM
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im sure its that way for some people. personally, i dont know if i could just... no longer love my partner. i could be hurt and betrayed to the point where i could never trust him again (that hasnt happened), but weve been together too long for me to stop loving him deep down. i would like to add/elaborate what i meant when i said "barring disability". he was injured years back, and the medication he was given for the injury made him incredibly ill. i took care of him for about 2-2.5 years until…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:25 AM
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love (in action) is different- i shouldve clarified. adult men arent children. you cant show adult men love the same way you show children love without infantilizing them. eg. my partner doesnt need me to be his mother. he needs me to be his partner. he doesnt need me to take care of him, and i dont need him to take care of me. we're adults- we can take care of ourselves. we do each other favors to show love, sure. but me cooking for my husband affects him differently than me cooking for a child…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:12 AM
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facts
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:57 AM
6

same. ive just gotten to the point where i have space again for a piano of some kind after years. only been able to play on one at friends places for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:51 AM
4

i think the role is companion. you keep each other company
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:48 AM
5

idk, that sounds low maintenace to me. thats generally a pro in my book.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:45 AM
22

gardening, painting/drawing, hiking, crocheting, reading/reseaching, writing, video/computer gaming, cooking/baking (beyond necessary- learning new ways of preparing food/new recipes), playing piano/guitar, and building a few little collections.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:44 AM
17

theres a difference between women being incapable of loving men, and women refusing to neglect their children for the sake of a man's feelings. also, love for children is different than love for a grown man. children need to be taken care of- they arent self-sufficient. adult men should be able to take care of themselves (barring disability) just like adult women. women primarily show love their children by taking care of them. women primarily show love to their partner by reciprocating companio…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 01:07 AM
6

the biggest issue for each sex is not generally the opposite sex. its generally health related, financially related, or both. men and women generally get along just fine irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:54 AM
1

i think part of it is fear of becoming like the people who raised us (if we were raised by immature and/or abusive people). personally, ive gone to therapy in the past to learn how to manage depression/anxiety symptoms becuase they was affecting my ability to eat and sleep properly, and i didnt want to take medication unless it was absolutely necessary (which it ended up not being necessary). i needed to learn coping mechanisms that worked within a busy, high stress lifestyle, because, at the ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 10:07 PM
1

i think thats a situation where there is not enough evidence to pick a person to believe/not believe. my response to both would be to not put either of themselves in that situation again. to the man specifically- its not a good idea to get so drunk that you cant remember the night before. especially if looking to have sex- if you value your reputation. to the the woman specifically- take care of your mental health as you need to, and in general, if you have not soberly decided to have sex with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 07:27 PM
1

i think it would depend on the sacrifice. i personally cant think of many things a single individual could do to have a dramatic effect in preventing the collapse of a society. and the things i can think of sounds pretty scifi, so im not sure how realistic they are. if we are talking about reputation eg. youre going to help a lot of people, but other people are gonna hate you for it, then yeah thats fine. i want to have kids, so if that was the "sacrifice" it wouldnt feel that way to me. if we n…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 06:36 PM
2

thats something i cant answer. i dont understand it either. thats also just not my experience with men. ive had... oh... 6 or so experiences with men where they were violent and dangerous. but those particular men were horrible human beings. but at the same time, ive been surround by men/boys my whole life and its been a good thing, and im generally prerty comfortable with men. the only thing i can think of is that, if a woman has had mostly horrible experiances with men, i would get why she cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 10:02 PM
2

i understand where youre coming from. i think id feel pretty pissed too were i in your shoes. the reason i decided to chime in was not to invalidate your personal experience with this particular topic, but to hopefully add to those experiences with something that felt less antagonistic. im sure there are plenty of women using this to antagonize men, but i do not personally know any. and i dont know why they act like that either. what i do know is that when my friends and i talk about these thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 09:40 PM
2

no its not your responsibility. and i dont think you should treat yourself like a monster. i think what im trying to say is that the effects of ptsd in particular cause a person's brain to have a very extreme fear response reguardless of their ability or lack thereof to think rationally. so like, essentially, when i ask these women "why bear", their response is "i know this isnt the wise decision, and i dont think the typical man would try to hurt me, but i could not honestly choose to run into …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 09:03 PM
1

oh sorry, forgot the first part of what you said. most of the women i know feel like they could defend themselves against a woman but not a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 08:34 PM
1

not so much general mental illness than ptsd i think. something i think people fail to mention when they metion that theyve been raped is that they were also brutally beaten too and barely survived. but the main thing im trying to say is that they dont believe that any man would rape them. they know its thats probably not what would happen. they just arent willing to risk it. obviously not all women who choose bear have that experience, but thats the only "type" i personally have come across.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 08:32 PM
0

among my friends, women who would choose the bear would rather die than even risk being raped again. its not that they think men are worse. when i ask them if they would rather come across a bear or a man in the woods if a man they know and trusted was with them, they always switch to man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 08:22 PM
1

that has nothing to do with my wish to pin this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 07:54 PM
2

im not, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 07:53 PM
2

i wish i could pin this permanently at the top of this entire thread. if theres a way to do that please tell me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 07:11 PM
1

fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 06:14 PM
0

it might be the area i live in, but men here are generally very polite if nothing else. i dont ask for help from men i dont know very often, but ive never been told "no" or ignored when i did. the men i do know tend to offer to help before i even ask, reguardless of whether or not i need it lol. im married and not generally approached by men. but casual conversation among stangers is pretty normal where i live, and men dont avoid talking to me when it comes to that. the closest example i can thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 08:02 AM
1

yeah thats a good idea. i think with that particukar kind of project, it would take a lot of research throughout to do it right.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 06:58 AM
2

it would be! he really liked the idea too
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 06:03 AM
3

i should get him to write a book with me about this stuff. he loves write even more than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:44 AM
5

😂😂 god the way im wired i could never work in marketing. i can write though so a book is possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:43 AM
3

😂 see i dont know what else to call it besides "patnership". like we fell in love and all that, but the reason we started dating in the first place was that we wanted the same things in life and the same boundaries in a romantic realtionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:25 AM
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not sure how useful or not this will be, but all the women i know including myself, good, toxic, married/in a committed realstionship, single etc. are all exhausted 90% of the time. exhaustion is a pretty good cure for embarassment, whether or not the person should be embarassed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:16 AM
12

fair enough. the general attitude my husband and i keep is "i will support you as you pursue this". if its important to him, he makes it happen i help him. if its important to me, i make it happen and he helps me. i didnt know this was even a way of doing things before we got married, but im so glad it is. it really simplifies things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 05:00 AM
6

yes i have seen this in irl ngl. i was just using it as an example.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 03:17 AM
40

my expectations for myself towards my parnter are almost the same as the expectations i have of him. there are two main differences: 1) needs. my relational needs are different from his. not opposite, but different. so me meeting his needs looks different from him meeting mine. its about the same level of effort, but in different avenues. 2) whoever has the high standard of living should bare more responsibility for making that happen. in my experience this is pretty nuanced, but for the sake of…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 03:08 AM
2

generally its through gossip/lying about a person. a fictional example: in the work place, toxic woman coworker say she notices that you have a lot on your plate and offers to do a specific task you are responsible for to help out. you say yes, and instead of doing the task, she leaves it undone and later goes to your superior to say that she feels you are slacking and letting down the team, but no one else is willing to bring it up. you end up getting reprimanded, she ends up more valued. ive s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 10:10 PM
7

first and foremost, ive heard women use this same example to explain how much men suck, and it bothers me just as much. whether or not men or women break their promises has to do with their character not their gender/sex. both men and women are capable of keeping promises and breaking them depending on the kind of person they have decided to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 05:30 PM
1

to bring it back to the original topic... this might clarify a few things. i dont think men or women should pursue romantic relationships with rapists or murderers. there are too many people in the world who arent rapists or muderers that they could pursue relationships with for it to be a wise decision. that is my personal opinion. i dont think men and women who have been abused are permanently damaged. i think they can choose a path of healing instead of neurotic resentment. many of the men an…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 05:24 PM
1

i cant gatekeep when someones past is important. i shared my opinion on when a hypothetical person's past is important. my opinion doesnt have the authority to determine fact or law reguarding peoples pasts and when they are important. im not cabable of controling the importance of peoples pasts or limiting access to the importance of peoples pasts except my own. and the only way i could gatekeep own past is by simply not telling anyone anything about it, because again i cant control how people …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 04:36 PM
1

gatekeeping: the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something. literal definition. you can look it up if you dont believe me. the only past im capable of gatekeeping in any way is my own.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 04:16 PM
3

yes! -misandry in general -the sabotaging others' reputations to boost your own social status bit (ive know guys who do this too, but mostly women) -the heilocopter mother and/or the abusive/neglectful mother -women who use the need to "express their emotions" to justify abuse of others theres also all the stuff thats not gender specific. tbh i dont think toxic femininity and toxic masculinity are all that different. i think women tend to be descreet/sneaky about it more often than men (as in on…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 03:40 AM
2

yall 😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 02:36 AM
1

man thats a good point too. i think that might be why im not very sensitive to criticism myself (im pretty low in neuroticism apparently) and why i hvae a harder time understanding when people are. thanks for bring this up.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 02:34 AM
1

gatekeeping is keeping a secret/witholding information. im not keeping a secret or witholding information on this topic. i laid out my opinion clearly, i didnt hide anything. and, just like you, im entitaled to my own opinion. im not saying any of this is fact. it is simply my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 12:19 AM
2

i dont think men should be willing to date a woman who had previously raped or murdered someone and vise versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 10:43 PM
2

hmm thats interesting. do you mind elaborating a bit for the sake of me having a clearer picturw of what youre describing? i came out of that culture and was just happy/relieved to be left alone and, for the most part was happily single for years until i met my now husband. i didnt keep up with most of the women i grew up with, so i didnt really see what kind of lifestyles they chose as adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:51 PM
2

thanks! yeah, my goal was seeing people's honest perspectives, not how "right" or "wrong" people are. theres a time and place for heated discussions and debates, but in my experience, you learn a lot more a lot faster if you just ask questions when youre disscusing sensetive topics. particularly with men. i think women might be more likely to share when they feel threatened, but ive only really heard men share personal perspectives in a detailed way when they feel like theres little to no risk o…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:42 PM
2

we were specifically talking in terms of people who are victims of abuse/mistreatment, not people who are also preditorial. yes it is more complex when youre talking about every possible person, but we were talking about one specific demographic- people who grow up victims of abuse, and who also do the work they need to do to heal fron that as adults. thats very specific and not the most common. and the healing from the abuse is part of their personal history as well. so i think the point we wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 04:57 PM
5

yeah, i think thats a side of the story we (women) dont hear about/see very often. i think the only times that ive heard stories like that are from guys in my life talking about their past experience, and only from people that im personally close to, or that my husband is personally close to. its never something thats currently happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 08:27 AM
3

yeah, of course! tbh i grew up with misogynistic women and notably non misogynistic men, so ive ended up on the side of feminism that is very much against misandry. and misandry freaks me out because i worry about my younger brothers.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 08:04 AM
1

dude, i dont keep up with pop culture lol im too tired. i just rewatch my favorite shows. hence the "i could be wrong/weird". i mostly just wanted to clarify that 1) im coming from a place where, for whatever reason, i dont feel the level of pressure to be a certain way that i see men expressing, and 2) im not trying to mock them, just genuinely trying to understand
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:49 AM
3

youre perspective has really helped me understand these things better. thank you for sharing your thoughts
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:46 AM
3

this might be an unpopular opinion, but i think my generation of women are reaping the benefits of some really dilligent women from past generations. i dont think we feel this level of pressure in general anymore. i could be wrong, but i at least do not feel this kind of pressure. and i might be weird for that idk. ive never been the type to feel super pressured by the opinions of others. so im not saying men are weird or anytjing for feeling serious pressure to be/not be a certain way. but i do…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:43 AM
4

so, correctly me if im wrong, but it sounds like the man's "not allowed" issue wouldnt be a thing if women couldnt get away with toxic/abusive behavoir.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:30 AM
0

dude confidence is key for real. people dont know how to respond to it though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:15 AM
5

shit that sounds like an absolute nightmare. this is more the stuff my husband and i end up talking about when i ask him questions about this things. i didnt realize how much fear/dread men have pertaining to these things, but it makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:13 AM
2

laughing quietly bc everyone else is asleep see this is kinda the attitude im more used to seeing with the guys im around
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:02 AM
6

ah okay. im picking up what youre putting down. very much of a "my hands are tied" vibe
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 07:00 AM
7

not becoming of a man from the perspective of other men, women, or both? mostly when i hear that phrase, its implied that they wish is was allowed.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:36 AM
4

okay so this is more what i hear when talking to the men i actually know irl. so do you think that the sentiment of "not being allowed" to do/say things is a combo of resentment/frustration of not being able to respond the way yall would naturally? (emphasis on the naturally) pretty sure thats what youre saying, but i wanna make sure im understand you correctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:33 AM
2

yes, im aware that not everyone has the same experience growing up. i have a dysfunctional family, and most of the people i know do as well. i dont mean most men. i dont know most men. but most of the men that i personally know have gone through this. thats what i was saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:17 AM
7

damn dude that sucks. i kinda grew up with the same attitude, but towards women instead of men. thanks for sharing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:11 AM
2

no, i was just using that as an example to emphasize the sevarity of the phrase "not allowed" vs something like "criticized for". not being allowed to do something implies that youll be punished if you do. i personally dont feel punished when im criticized, so i was wondering if and if so why it feels so much more threatening.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:08 AM
5

i mean, that sounds like excused abuse to me (meaning the women are the abusers) in what youre describing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:02 AM
3

i believe you. i think i just havent come across them. its something ive personally heard men express and wanted to understand better. the men in my life express those sentiments really differently, so im mostly trying to figure out the difference between the things that ive heard men say specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:59 AM
3

that makes a lot of sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:56 AM
2

oh geez. okay no that makes sense. thank you for your input!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:53 AM
9

okay that makes sense. its starting to sound like men in general tend to be more affected by criticism that most of the women ive known. do you think its a chronic lack of support type thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:52 AM
11

oooh okay. i think ive just been in very different groups of people if thats the case. the closest ive been to seeing a situation like the irl was christian culture when i was a teen. thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:48 AM
3

yeah i feel the same. i think thats why i have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. i get that some people are more sensetive than others, but feeling like youre not allowed to do or say something simply because youll be criticized for it is beyond me lol. i just kinda assume im going to be criticized for everything and am happy when im not
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:43 AM
3

so would you say its more of a "not allowed to do/say this and have the approval of women"? with the emphasis being on having the approval of women?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:34 AM
10

no i genuinely have been confused. the women ive been around throughout my life never talk about things like beauty standards like that. we're mostly just vaugely annoyed, at least the women ive know. but feeling like youre not allowed seems like a much heavier feeling. like youre actively going to be punished/abused. thats more what im trying to understand. like yeah, i dont wear makeup, and women are "supposed to", so im going to get criticized by some people, but that criticizism doesnt feel …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:30 AM
1

ooo i like fire alarm as a description. thats a good name for it. it is rare. i ended up with someone who is like that- i think he might be the only guy i know who is for sure that way. i think a major part of why our relationship works so well is because we are both oriented that way. and no, i agree- the only way you can tell if someone is like that is if a circumstance happens naturally and they have the chance to respond naturally. that testing stuff is bs dude. guys ive dated in the past ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 05:04 AM
3

the red pill stuff i hear these days sounds so much like lashing out in resentment. ive had a few aquaintences like this, and over time its like they realize im not out to get them and they chill way the fuck down. we always end up having a conversation where they ask why i treat them differently than they expected, and i have to try to explain that i see them as people just like i see women as people. its like a bunch of neglected kids went down a dark path and they dont know there are other op…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 03:53 AM
2

most of the marriages ive seen where the man works and pays for everything and the woman doesnt work-- the woman manages the household. she does all the cooking and cleaning, generally has a veggie garden, she does all the errands, take care of whatever animals/children that they have, voluteers in the community, generally has some sort of side gig esque buisness (doesnt bring in much money, but theyll use that money to go towards dates, vacations, birthday/christmas gift and whatnot), and she o…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 03:29 AM
4

yes. this. ive done my best to teach my younger brothers about these things since they were little- like expressing their emotions in healthy ways, and that, if someone hurts you its not your fault, but whether or not you decide to heal is your responsibility. theyve become so kind and have healthy relationships. they dont let girls/women control them, they dont try to control them, and they have happy and healthy relationships with them. women struggle with these things too, but i feel like the…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 03:13 AM
1

i think its really hard for people in general to conceptualize and understand that people who have healed are no longer what they mean by "damaged" unless theyve personally experienced it. and often, they dont realized how "damaged" theyve become over time either. most people seem to understand really clearly what i means to be psychologically injured by another person, but very few seem to understand what its like to heal from that, and live after healing, and that is very, very sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 02:42 AM
1

what do you mean by "allowed"? when you say "allowed" do you mean praised? im just confused because ive known quite a few men who change in ways that arent beneficial to women, and they are still living life and roaming free. i dont think men and women owe each other anything. i think that it would be best if people treated eachbother with common courtesy in general, but no one owes anyone anything fundementally. not unless theyve agreed to owe another person something in exchange for something …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 01:32 AM
1

i have seen this quite a bit with marriages between people in their 40s. ive akways wondered how that works because me and all my married freinds are close friends with our spouses.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:53 PM
1

i think the "trapped" part happens in the nuances of the financial aspect of the relationship. when youre pooling income, but the man is contributing more than half, it can be very hard to get out of that situation depending on where you live. particularly for housewives who dont have careers. which you can argue was their choice, which is fine until abuse is involved and they are trying to leave to survive. honeslty, i think there has to be abuse to get trapped in a relationship. a non abusive …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:51 PM
1

i think the main difference between the two things you mentioned were that the woman's preferences changed, but the man's treatment of other people changed. typically when women go from being nice to mean, they are treated like they are being me. and, at least the circles im in, when a guy goes from dating toxic women to date a kind and respecful woman, hes congragulated. i dont think that a change in preferences and a change in how you treat people are the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:43 PM
–

ive only every talked to my two closest friends about these things, and its when nothings going on in the bedroom and im trying to figure out what the hell to do about it lol. its only ever for the purpose of trying to see the situation from a less biased perspective, and its always been really helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:38 PM
1

for marriage: kindness, respect, and mutual effort. id rather be single than married to someone who wasnt genuinely kind and respectful, and actively worked with me to keep our life together going. everything else matters so much less to me personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:35 PM
6

kinda? everyone is different. im pretty strong willed and self motivated, so when a guy acts like that with me, it just kinda feels like hes being a father 🤢 and its a turn off. on the other hand, its always been important to me that the person im with can step up and lead if for some reason i cant function (eg i get really sick and cant communicate/advocate for myself with doctors etc). but i also expect the same of myself if he cant function. so, i guess personally, i want a partner in my spou…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:27 PM
5

the women i have know who are drawn to "dark triad" guys when they are younger have all either gone to therapy and worked through some trauma, after which their prefrences completely changed, or they ended up becoming just as dangerous and toxic. i think, possibly, that women (men could be exactly the same- i have no idea) try to work out traumatic experiences through their love life- but on a subconcious level. one friend of mine in particular has ended up with a very kind, gentle and respectfu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 10:17 PM
1

i think guys being creepy comes down to whether or not they will prioitize treating people respectfully over getting (or trying to get) what they want. its hard to explain, but body language and tone give that away with most guys. some hide it pretty well, and you dont know until youre in a scary situation that he created. and guys who always prioritize treating people with respect over getting what they want- it literally feels safer to be around them than to be alone. in my personal experience…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:31 PM
1

i would. ive always valued friendship much higher than other forms. some of the best friendships ive had were with guys who werent attracted to me. it like having extra siblings. i could be happy in a world like that. now if i had to trade no risk of sexual assault for friendships, i couldnt do that. i couldnt live without loved ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:24 AM
1

i would take the deal for sure. i dont need attention. i like positive attention from men, but i hate the negitive more intensely than i like the positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:20 AM
1

i think its influenced by culture, but is more based on the person' conscience. personally, i think sexual crime should reciene one of the heaviest punishments. theres just no excuse for sexual crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 06:18 AM
1

the worst thing about dating a woman as a man, i would guess, would be that shes going to be physically afraid of you deep down until she feels confident that youre a safe person. i feel like men are rarely physically afraid of women in comparison, and wouldnt necessarily be able to recognize that was anelement of and issue between them
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 08:06 AM
1

i mean obviously we wouldnt get upset about things that were said if we didnt know that they were said. but in my experience, the things that make me and the women i know upset with men are the things that they do. the things that they say that upset us are reminding us of things that theyve done. like, for example, my husbands best friend is a red pill type of guy (but like the kind version? idk some red pill guys seem to hate women, but hes not like that), and hes pretty open about it. but his…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 08:00 AM
1

ive run across a bear in the woods before. i walked away and it didnt follow me. ive run across a man in the woods before. had to run for my life. if i had to choose between a bear and one of the guys i know, id choose the guy. if i had to choose between a bear and a guy id never met, id choose the bear
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:47 AM
1

not me. honestly, sex and things pertaining to sex are never the first thing in my mind when i see a person. i normally quickly sort both men and women into "probably safe" and "probably dangerous" at first glance based on body language. thats as far as i get most of the time
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:43 AM
2

i was happily signle for 2 years before i met my now husband. he and i were friends first (and i barely dated before that). i just really enjoyed spending time with him. the main things that made me want to date him were: -he was kind/respectful- very safe guy. like definitely safer alone with him than alone. -hes hilarious -he can take care of himself/not childish and "needing" to be taken care of -he wanted the same things i wanted in life getting married just kinda made sense. our lives were …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:36 AM
1

i ended up marrying the guy i "made it the easiest" for. but i realized years later that it was because he was so obviously trustworthy compared to everyone else id had a relationship with. the people i dated before him made me uncomfortable a lot. he never has- hes a very safe person to be with. and so sex and committment were pretty easy for him to get from me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:28 AM
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