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redside_up Archive

View 2 posts and 201 comments by redside_up on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

redside_up/r/askMRP28/01/22 02:28 PM
6

redside_up/r/askMRP13/03/18 01:57 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Okay, let’s try a different angle. What do you need to do to become the kind of guy who would weather this difficulty with frame?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/24 06:23 PM
2

Dude, you’re still not getting it. You can’t accept it’s out of your hands. Channel all that anxiety and ADHD toward something that helps you. Sign up for a team sport/physical activity that gets you out and around other people at least once a week. ASAP. Reread 3KLs comment until you have it memorized.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/24 10:00 PM
2

Phew. That was tough to read, the desperation is palpable. I’ve been in this situation before so I’ve got some empathy for you. This obsessive thought spiral is going to DROWN you if you let it. I think the first, most important thing you need to recognize is that: this is what rock bottom looks like. Your first thought might be, “no, her cheating on me seems worse.” It isn’t. That would at least force your hand and give you a reason to divorce and start over. And sure, you’d feel bad about the …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/24 02:04 PM
2

Dude. Even your “new mission” is set around your wife. Bench 250 because you want to, not because you want to pick up your whale of a wife. Make the amount of money you want to live the life you want. Not to match your wife or support “our” lifestyle. You want her to be able to quit her job and sit on the couch more? Wtf. How about making the stay plan the go plan instead? Live like you’re single?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/24 12:49 PM
1

I don’t think the goal is just to stop seeking external validation. It’s also to figure out how validate yourself internally. So think on what that would look like for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 11:43 AM
2

My wife avoids being alone with me, using the kids as cockblocks, consciously or not, using them as buffers. I don't think I am initiating just for validation, because I've been hornier. Sometimes I even get random erections like I was a teenager which I think it's great because it probably means my T levels are getting higher. My wife initiating or accepting my initiations usually happens around ovulation, just like the epic shit tests will usually happen around that time. She began to sleep ag…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/23 02:14 PM
5

“When was the last time we had a date just the two of us? I feel like you’re just looking for a body to have sex with, not necessarily being me.” I reassured her that it was her that I wanted and I was disappointed she didn't want to go further, but left it at that, and went to sleep. You gave, literally, the worst possible reply to her comment. You only want me for sex!
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/23 07:51 PM
5

the plan is to a part of me hopes I don't know where I stand I do not feel like I need to start I need to stay focused with I found it very hard to Just need to I'm trying to I don't know what the future holds but I need to See any themes?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/22 03:24 PM
1

Still at 1-2x a month. My main focus this summer has just been on getting my head right. I had a string of medical things come up that preventing lifting (haven’t touched a barbell since May), and also caused a ton of anxiety to come up. I’ve double-downed heavy on meditation which has largely gotten my anxiety in check. I’m just about healed enough to get back under a barbell, I’ve been cycling every day and it just isn’t the same.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/22 12:38 PM
2

My main issue is I dont know how to get past the open.... like I cant think of what to say, ask, do next and then it all falls apart. This is probably common, I had the same experience. It could be for a few reasons. Most likely, it’s because you’re actually trying to “audition” whether you realize it or not. As in: you want to get validation/confirmation that you can pick up women. Except you don’t know what they like and because they’re a stranger, you’re stumped. Ask yourself honestly why you…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/22 03:38 PM
3

I'm happy to leave this be and wait out the long game. By leave this be and wait out the long game, do you mean you’re going to stop contacting her unless she gets in touch? If yes, I don’t think that’s a great approach. She’s your daughter, she doesn’t dictate the frame. Be the kitten instead: (Growing up we had a cat. Really nice cat, but definitely an "only cat" and it was very cat like in that it had times where it completely wanted to be alone and would get annoyed at you if you tried to pi…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/22 01:59 PM
2

Answer: I'm still in her frame. This is probably the right answer, but I'm not convinced you know why it's probably the right answer. Read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7lolrm/thoughts_on_frame/ Figure out who you are, and the question of, "what should I talk about beyond the day-to-day?" will answer itself. Also: Practice telling stories from my past. Insert emotions and details, rather than just recounting events. Can you not see how this is pure dancing monkey? You're…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/22 01:47 AM
1

My STFU with my wife is autistically solid, so I don't talk to her about hardly anything except day-to-day matters. Why?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/22 04:44 PM
1

Seems like you've hit your stride, congrats and keep your foot on the gas
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 09:08 PM
3

Who are you and what did you do with this poor bastard?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 08:25 PM
1

Shit tests, if that’s what you’re actually getting, seem to be your sticking point lately. My gut tells me they aren’t all shit tests, but you’ll have to be the judge of that. Are you hearing the same things over and over? If so, I think negative inquiry or advanced fogging may be a good bet. This week: The fighting with my wife was my fragile ego hurt after a few straight days being shit tested and frozen out. Nothing I shouldn’t be able to handle. In fact, it’s the luteal phase for my wife whi…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 02:28 PM
1

He gets a lot right, but some is plowhorse shit. Yeah these are definitely books where you have to read between the lines, and know enough about the sidebar and yourself to interpret it in a way that doesn't push you into plowhorse territory. For me it ended up being a good companion book to UM.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 08:04 PM
0

100% true. I have to credit reading Peterson on this. The books not only described the problems I was experiencing from not having goals to aim at, but some solid prescriptive advice around what kinds of aims are worthwhile (e.g., do what is meaningful, not what is expedient). And it's also a huge asset beyond what I expected when you lock a mission and some goals in place. It adds so much clarity, my tone is positive and I feel good working toward them, and I've got a genuine sense of "I have i…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 08:02 PM
1

OYS #16 (4-12-22) 34yo, 6'0, 186.3#, BF ~13.6% (navy)/ ~15% (picture), 2 kids What I Want After my last OYS, I came right up to the edge of nuking things. I made the decision that that was what I wanted. But my head was spinning. I wasn't on an even keel. u/ImpatientZen told me I'd be stuck until I knew what I really wanted. I knew he was right. Nuking things would be retarded without a clear sense of direction. I took two weeks off from OYS to answer that question. I did the Unchained Male exer…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 02:44 PM
7

It seems like you're banking on multiple pieces falling into place for this to work, which would be a red flag for me. For example, you assume they are going to stay as busy or get busier in the future. You assume you will remain the best supplier of whatever you offer relative to the new competition in a new zip code. Beyond all that, the biggest flag is you're willingly going into a situation where they have you by the balls. If they are 90% of your income and they decide: "we don't want to pa…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 01:16 PM
5

I have been mulling over a couple options and doing some research on the customer’s new potential, which is gradually leading me to the conclusion that moving to the same city as the customer is the best option as the amount of business I would get from this customer alone would be the highest I’ve ever had. You know your business better than me, but this just sounds like pure scarcity. There really aren't any other customers around town so you don't have to uproot your whole life? Replace "cust…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 12:16 PM
1

Does your social involve any component of regularly meeting interesting women you would be interested in having sex with? Regular? Yes. Interesting women? Mixed. Interested in having sex with? Very. The rock climbing gym is a constant parade of fit and cute 20-something bitches with an adventurous/nonconformist bent. This is all BECUASE OF your kids, or someone else, etc. Do you not see how you are still allowing others to dictate your decisions? Yes, and that’s my mental block. It’s one of thos…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/22 07:23 PM
2

Your spidey sense is on point today. From Chapter 7: When healthy individuals recognize that they have created a relationship that is not a good fit, or that a partner they have chosen lacks the basic qualities they desire, they move on. Not Nice Guys. Due to their conditioning, Nice Guys just keep trying harder to get a non-workable situation to work or get someone to be something they are not. This tendency frustrates everybody involved. This describes my last two relationships before my wife.…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 05:11 PM
4

making such a huge commitment to a woman I barely have any intimacy with seems insane to me. You scare me. This idea doesn’t SEEM insane. It IS insane, objectively. There’s nothing to even debate. And the thing is, if you’re going months at a time without fucking, you’re going to be frothing at the mouth if she starts offering you ovulation baby-making pussy. DO NOT TAKE IT. Your future is bright (assuming your PhD isn’t in the humanities). And that’s what you’ll be throwing away, or at least ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 12:24 PM
1

ryaninthesky brought up a similar issue, and here's what I told him: Do I want to pull the trigger? Mainly yes. I’m not afraid of divorce and I know I’d be fine, and probably better off. I could have a good life alone or with many different women. But that’s a big thing to drop on my kids. I know myself, and I don’t think I could feel good about the future without knowing I did the work and gave it a real shot for my kids. Will it end in divorce anyway? I don’t know, and for the first time, I ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 02:44 AM
1

This is great stuff, thanks. I’m definitely going to use this as a measuring stick. You gave me a great comment a while back that I saved but forgot about until all this stirred up again: You have no way of knowing if she'll come around yet. Forget that for now. Just put in work, become awesome, then look at her in six months and decide if she gets to stay in your life as anything but a coparent. That’s all there is to it. Being awesome is my job. The relationship is her job. BPP has gotten a lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 02:36 AM
1

why have you been at this for 4+ years? Because I was lazy and a pussy. Reading through my old posts from way back, I would have been Rule 9’d every time. What have have you improved upon in that time? I'm honestly asking, its not rhetorical. Do you really feel you have changed anything in your life of note in all of that time? If so, what? I’ve now got my career (new job), finances (always strong) and recreation (many new hobbies) life on lock. On the physical, I lagged a while but I’m now on G…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/22 02:12 AM
1

Thanks for the comment, this gave me a lot to think about. Btw what exactly did you “start” in 2017? MRP? Yes, I started MRP hard next on whatever you’ve been doing that you believe counts as effort all this time. It sounds like you’re saying: if you put in the work, your marriage will work out. But there has to be a big survivorship bias here. I’d bet a lot of these dudes in OYS aren’t going to be having more sex with their wives any time soon, no matter what they do. And they won’t be around t…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/22 02:27 AM
1

In my last OYS, I reported how I let me wife know that I – in a nutshell – will either have a great relationship with her, or none at all, and that that if she’s not interested in a great relationship, I am out. Since then, her attitude has changed dramatically and we’re having sex again You can't negotiate desire.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/22 01:03 AM
1

Frame starts with you owning yourself and accepting yourself and owning what you want in life. That's it. It's not that you "don't have frame," it's that your ego stops you from owning yourself. Can you clarify what you mean here? How does ego stop you from owning yourself? Which is more important? Satisfying your ego and eternally going nowhere on a hamster wheel to "turn this ship around", which (should be clear) isn't going to happen? It’s awesome to get feedback here because other people see…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 07:25 PM
1

Then why are you keeping this dance going? The thing that’s shitty about not having frame, or generally a clear handle on things, is that it’s really hard to trust your own judgment. Put simply, I don’t know if it’s the case that I haven’t put in the work, or she’ll never come around. Those are the two ways to read this situation: First, the prognosis for this marriage is terminal. It was over before it started, and no amount of work or effort would bring it back to life. We had a ton of sex the…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 06:42 PM
0

OYS #15 (3-22-22) 34yo, 6'0, 184.5#, BF ~13.6% (navy)/ ~15% (picture), 2 kids Physical Greyskull LP: DL 210x6, OHP 97.5x9, SQ 210x8, BP 152.5x9 Estimated 1RM change: BP: 193 -> 196 (+3) SQ: 257 -> 260 (+3) OHP: 120 -> 125 (+5) DL: 267 -> 244 (missed 2-3 reps) Fractional plates are fantastic. I attribute all my recent OHP progress to them. I've been stuck on a 1RM max of about 116-118 for fucking weeks before getting fractional plates. In three sessions I've tacked on 5+ pounds to it. My deadlift…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/22 01:04 PM
1

Thanks for the reply You don't turn a girl on just by manipulating the right levers, you have to become the "On" button. That's really interesting. Can you say more about what you mean by that? What does it mean to become the "on" button in your experience?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 06:06 PM
1

You'll punch above your weight here because I've told you to keep the game to a shorter period of time. That way, even if you're still fucking retarded and faking it - at least you'll be somewhat original and a novelty. Understand now the bigger picture? Yes in general. The way I’m gaming it isn’t generating feelz because it’s boring. It’s probably boring because I don’t mix things up and I do the same thing all day (I still don’t know how you knew that, but it’s correct). My game is essentially…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 06:01 PM
16

Everyone told you what you needed to hear two months ago. What have you done with that advice? Actually, nevermind. I already know the answer. And any advice you get here today if someone wastes their time on you? That shit will go in one ear and out the other too. Take some responsibility.
/r/askMRP17/03/22 03:37 PM
1

I don't understand what you mean. If you plateaued, that means you're missing reps. When you miss reps, you deload. After you deload 3 times or so, you need a new program. So if you've plateaued, how have you not deloaded your BP? Are you just continuing the lift the same weight and continuing to miss reps?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 01:06 PM
1

Put kid in front of some screen, go to bedroom and lock door This was a simple but big realization for me. With little kids running around, iPad/shows is about the only way to consistently divert their attention for 30 minutes. And my staple - fuck in the morning before the kid woke This will be a fun one to experiment with
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 08:44 PM
2

You can apply tension constantly, you can do it in the midst of other activities. I agree with this point broadly, but the thing I'm struggling to figure out is: what is the difference between doing this in an attractive way that builds tension, and doing it in a way that comes across as thirsty and needy as fuck? I ask because in the past I've done exactly this in a needy way. Right now I've backed off a bit to strangle out the validation seeking. It is as simple as just being OI about it?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 08:28 PM
3

I can’t put my finger on it, but this whole post reeks of bullshit. Here’s a few things: spent two hours with them demonstrating who I was and the value I have Why are you qualifying yourself to strangers? If my SMV is high enough, all things sexual will fall into place. If “all things sexual” is with your wife, this is a straight up covert contract. The last few weeks we have been fucking twice a week often multiple times those days. My wife often initiates surprising me by crawling in bed nude…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 06:54 PM
1

I can't lift more than 5x5 of 70kg, and that's with 5 minute breaks between the sets. I don't see any other way here than to continue grinding. How many times have you deloaded on BP? The other path forward is switching to a program that uses plus sets (i.e., AMRAP = as many reps as possible) like Greyskull LP.​
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 02:32 PM
2

You're likely escalating, backing off, having to come back around and build the game back up, escalating, cycle repeats. Yep, that’s exactly how it’s happening on the weekends. If you've got 12 hours to go until it's logistically possible, maybe save your strong game for the last 2-3 hours. Nothing wrong with some light game sprinkling throughout your day. Thanks for the comment. This is the adjustment that would probably work well for me, especially on weekdays. I gave it a whirl tonight. I did…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 03:24 AM
5

OYS #14 (3-15-22) 34yo, 6'0, 183.7#, 13.6% BF (navy), 2 kids Physical Greyskull LP: DL 200x10, OHP 90x10, SQ 200x9, BP 150x9 Estimated 1RM change: BP: 186 ->193 (+7) SQ: 236 -> 257 (+21) OHP: 118 -> 120 (+2) DL: 255 -> 267 (+12) First week of Greyskull went well. I like everything about it so far. One thing I got from the book that I've been missing is the mental aspect of lifting. You ever have one of those tired, limp noodle sessions where everything feels heavy? Yeah fuck that. Psyching mysel…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 02:37 PM
2

OYS #13 (3-8-22) 34yo, 6'0, 183.3#, 13.6% BF (navy), 2 kids I realized a pattern where I end up with hundreds or thousands of words of notes, and my brain gets scattered and unfocused. So I simplified things by basically focusing on one or two goals in each area of life per week. And I'll stick with it until it makes sense to change it up. This way, I've got something actionable to improve on at essentially any point in the day, but only one thing at a time. Physical 5/3/1: DL 205x8, OHP 105x5, …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 11:37 AM
1

Do it as written, don't add shit you come up with I've read through the first half of the book (3rd version), and he seems pretty open-ended on the accessory work. I'm on board with chin ups, but the curls seem pretty limited since they aren't compound. I was going to switch in kroc rows for 2x6-8 and add weight/reps. Does that sound reasonable? He argues most beginners can’t row enough weight to make a difference on something like a barbell row, but if I’m pushing it I don’t see the problem. My…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/22 02:33 AM
2

If anyone has tips on getting this under control I would appreciate it. At 3 she's old enough to at least partly explain what's going on and why she's doing it. Have you asked? 9/10 they want help falling back asleep and they need to learn (or refresh) the ability to self-soothe and do it on their own. All kids wake up a few times a night. One approach that seems to work for most kids is just putting them back in bed, stone faced with no attention or words. Over and over and over again until the…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/22 10:18 PM
1

Did you buy the book for Greyskull? I'm about to do the same switch next week. There's so much information already out there I'm not sure if the $30 is worth it. This is a solid read: https://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/health-fitness/the-greyskull-methods--a-primer/70504728/
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/22 02:59 PM
1

This is a ton of great information, thanks for replying. I spent a chunk of time reading about GSLP. Having done SL5x5 and 531, I wish I switched to GSLP in November instead of 531. I like everything about it. Especially about trying to set rep PRs after a deload so you’re not just lifting the same weight for 5 reps over and over like in 5x5. I fucking hated deloads in SL5x5 because so much was getting left on the table. I’ve been doing the 531 program (BBB) to a T since November 8 (16 weeks) an…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/22 02:48 PM
2

Just wanted to tell you your OHP is sick
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 04:10 PM
2

means I want to try to seem extra friendly because the types of people I work with default to being wary of someone like me. You’re insecure about your status at work, which leads to you being overly defensive. Confident people don’t need others’ approval or admiration. he posted a response of a gif that had a guy yelling "Stop Whining". You’re right, there’s plausible deniability here and you could take it as either a light-hearted jab or aggressive. But because you’re insecure, you see everyth…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 06:12 PM
1

You can slow the weightgain to 0-2lbs per month at your current BW and lifts particularly on a conservative programme like 5-3-1. 1lb/week will mean most of it is fat you'll just have to cut off again. Thanks for weighing in on this. I’m curious how you came to that estimate. When I set up my bulk, I decided to aim for a weight gain of 0.25–0.5% of BW per week. This seems to be a pretty common recommendation. So that would give me a range of about 0.4-0.9lbs/week, which would translate to about …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 04:19 PM
3

You’ve got 11 goals for the next 31 days. At least 4 of them don’t seem to have any concrete actions attached to them that would help them become a habit and may not be worth pursuing in the first place. You’ve done some self reflection and presumably have surveyed your life. Maybe you read Mindful Attraction Plan. As you look at your weak points, do you really think “BE THANKFUL” is a priority? A mistake I’ve made before is trying to do too much all at once. Then 2-3 weeks later, I haven’t done…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 02:28 PM
1

OYS #12 (3-1-22) 34yo, 6'0, 182.9#, 13.6% BF (navy), 2 kids Physical 5/3/1: DL 220x4, OHP 115x2, SQ 225x3, BP 160x6 I've been ego lifting chasing bigger numbers and not following the 531 program. The book recommends leaving 1-2 reps in the tank on the plus sets, but I've been going to failure (and more importantly, breaking form on the last rep occasionally). I stopped that this week. Pushing less paired with a week off means I saw some big drops in est1RM this week, but I'd rather do it right t…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 02:09 PM
1

After that she lost her shit and started yelling “just say it, you don’t want to be with me.” Translation: “Please just kill the puppy! I would if I could, but I can’t!” Accepted and told her no problem, but there is no back peddling from here on, we’ll discuss splitting finances 50/50 later on in the week. Get your divorce plan in order before you say a word and fuck things up worse. You need a list of lawyers and some consultations asap. It’s been 4 days since you got the ILYBNILWY speech and …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 02:06 PM
1

Good first OYS, but it’s not clear if you’re lifting or fucking?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/22 12:19 PM
1

I don’t think there’s an “it”, in the same way that no one has a soulmate. There is no one woman, job, or experience that will click you over from unhappy to happy. It’s not what you do, it’s how and why you do it. Any number of things will add satisfaction and meaning to your life. Some more than others. Having a mental model that leads you to believe there’s an “it” sets you up for a lot of anxiety and dissatisfaction.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/22 06:25 PM
1

Still too vague. Maybe another approach is: how do you feel when something is missing? Existential dread and depression? Anxiety and FOMO?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/22 01:41 PM
1

And yet still it feels like I am underachieving and that I'm not being true to myself. Something is missing. Yes, I love being a dad and yes I have a very nice life, and I should be thankful that the people I love are healthy. But there's something missing. A better end to this section would be: and here's what I'm going to do to figure it out. What would a concrete action to figure this out look like?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 02:30 PM
2

The situation blew over, but I was internally angry that it had occurred, that I wasn't respected, and that I have to do this You don’t HAVE to do shit. You’re choosing to stay with your wife while you get yourself together. This is what comes with that decision, so own it. Also shit tests are a feature, not a bug, AWALT. If it helps you to jump in her frame: Shit tests mean she’s wondering if you actually aren’t pathetic. If you want to stay with your wife, that’s a good thing. But don’t confus…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 01:57 PM
3

Wife initiated a "serious talk" the other day which turned into a snort-bubble fest. I've heard that it seems I'd be able to replace her with plainly anyone and that it seems I'd be able to live the life without her. Also, she said she can't "keep up" and even though she is trying to, she can't do it. Sounds like you have a lost hamster on your hands
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 03:55 PM
3

Had some good KINO in the morning before work and did some text-flirting with the wife throughout the day. Had some plans on running game when she got home and intended to initiate sex that evening. Then, I got grumpy because nothing I tried worked on her. This is one place you’re stepping on your own dick. I’ve done this a lot before and I think I’ve got a pretty clear image of how this went down. You built up “I want to have sex tonight” in your mind so much that it bleeds through in your acti…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 03:45 PM
1

OYS #11 34yo, 6'0, 181.7#, 13.6% BF (navy), 2 kids Physical Bulk results this week = +0.2lb (8-week Goal = weigh 185 on March 21; 1lb/week excluding deload weeks). Goal was to maintain this week due to being quarantined and out of the gym. My waist is now at 32.5", up from 32" at the start of the bulk. I think I can go all the way to 33" and then cut. BF is hard to measure, but "when my pants don't fit well" seems like a good indicator it's time for a cut to me. After doing the math, I gained ro…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 01:55 PM
2

She blatantly asked me one night what was going on and noticed that I had been acting different. When I pressed her on this, I then told her that I was focusing on self improvement and think that should be more of a focus in our relationship going forward I explicitly told her that I knew she didn't desire me (because I had been a beta for awhile, and not desirable, completely owning it) and she just giggled (agreement?) And we continued our conversation. I let my fiance know that I wanted to ta…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/22 08:05 PM
1

I’m not going to go as far as saying you’re coasting right now. But what I don’t see much of here is the next big challenge you’re taking on. Are you living on your edge in a certain area of life right now? Do you have a mountain in mind? Do you think it’s worth starting up a new thing, or sharpening something you’ve already worked on DoD-style?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 07:04 PM
3

A big part of the value in OYS is having other knowledgeable people point out your blindspots. All the replies you’ve gotten are dead on. You’ve got a major blindspot. I know you can’t see what a shitty, needy dumpster fire this was, but it’s obvious to everyone. Your EGO is blinding you to this. Here’s an experiment for you to try this week. You’re really ready to get divorced and move on, right? You’ve really put in the work to make yourself an attractive man, right? Go out and go for an F-clo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 04:21 PM
5

As I type this, I’m realizing both my goals for my kids and retirement are future plans, which is good and necessary, but I’m forgetting to live in the now. The future will come when it comes. However, I only truly live in the now, so if my eyes are always in the future and not focused on having a good time in the present then I’m not really living at all. Ok, that might be a bit of mental masturbation on my part. I don't think it's mental masturbation. It's an important realization you should a…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 02:30 PM
5

OYS #10 (2-15-22) 34yo, 6'0, 181.5#, 13.1% BF (navy), 2 kids My whole house got COVID this week, which threw off my regular plans. I've got a tendency to whine when I'm sick, but I put a lid on that this week and STFU. I was the least sick out of everyone, so I took on the extra house tasks to keep the house together. I also get health-related anxiety so this was kind of tough mentally. I held it together and it was a good chance to practice some mental self control and avoid spiraling thoughts.…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 02:01 PM
9

she pulled the kitchen knife police car sister asking if I hit my wife my kid had to witness all of this I learn to not overthink. I'll take what I can get. JFC, now is a good time to start thinking with your brain instead of your dick. This ends with a DV charge and 0% custody. Where do you think your sister got the idea you’re hitting her? Idiot.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 01:15 PM
1

I think most of the replies to my askMRP post apply to you. While I am a retard in many ways - I'm much more attractive than my wife. I'm fit - she hasn't worked out in five years. I make four times the money she makes (twice the money, if she were to work full time rather than part-time). Other (younger and hotter) women show me respect and signal interest. This is pure ego. Where am I fucking up? My wife asks for my approval and guidance when decisions need to be made. She religiously follows …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/22 12:14 PM
2

You already know you have to draw up your own boundaries and plans to enforce them. So how do insults and threats get treated? Clearly they bother you, you were willing to change course to avoid a few days of shitty behavior (but I do think backtracking a bit instead of clinging to ego is a reasonable choice if you believe you were in the wrong). Jack10 had a great line somewhere, it was something like, “hmmm, I doesn’t sound like you’re ready to talk about this yet, I’m going to go do (5min thi…
/r/askMRP11/02/22 07:42 PM
1

One other thing, can you see how you rewarded her for making divorce threats? After your Nintendo decision you went 100% broken record STFU. She drops the D word, and you start listing things you admire about her. Hindsight is 20/20, but if you actually were willing to discuss this, you probably should have just opened with a discussion instead of STFU. She wore you down. Honest answer - are you afraid of divorce?
/r/askMRP11/02/22 07:13 PM
3

You’re focused on the problem with your wife and I’m sure you’ll get plenty of replies. I think you’re missing the second problem altogether: you broke your word to your son. How is what you did any different from promising ice cream after a baseball game then flaking? Sure the Nintendo is a small thing, and the rules changed in his favor, but it’s your integrity nonetheless. You could have given him a different reward and kept the screens off. Will he always get off the hook with extra good beh…
/r/askMRP11/02/22 06:46 PM
3

She just sent me a message asking me to make a video of myself chopping up wood like a lumberjack for Valentine's Day. Careful dude. I know this seems like an innocent request but it’s actually a shit test. These “requests” are going to gradually escalate over time until one day you look in the mirror and see a lumbersexual
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/22 01:12 PM
2

As for developing an actual frame of my own, the only thing that makes sense to me is to use brute force and actively work on catching myself when I find myself trying to get into someone else’s head or doing something with the intent to elicit some type of behavior/response from someone else. I think this is only half of it. It’s also passive and reactive. When I have the most success, it’s because I have a clear idea of what I want and I’m doing it. It’s easier that way too because you just do…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/22 03:37 AM
1

Early on, I used to feel like I had this responsibility (ie dancing monkey) to escalate and potentially get laid Yeah, that was me 100% at the start of interactions until I got to the point where it would be the right time to polarize and escalate. I approached it with the idea of cultivating some options. But I never thought in advance how far I would actually take it. Just get a number? Just a kiss? Just a TV remote in the pussy? I was LARPing with no plan. What I would describe my behavior no…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 03:40 PM
2

covert contract When you frame it that way I can definitely see how I was doing this. It’s like a mindset of pushing all the right buttons to get the outcome you want. If I flirt and do attractive things, she will respond. And beyond that, it’s trying to shortcut the longer process of becoming genuinely attractive with cheat codes. Even though I was being funny and making jokes, the intent was all wrong. It was trying to be funny in order to prompt a reaction from her. I see that now, and I’m st…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 03:29 PM
10

Your wife physically attacks you and your response is to shrug your shoulders and STFU? Level with me dude. Well, level with yourself actually. You're getting off on watching her squirm aren't you? There's some serious pent up anger in there and you're in a revenge fantasy.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 03:37 AM
1

Is she a SAHM? Mostly. This is what has pissed me off - it is her job to look after the kids during the day, and she can't handle them. Have you made your expectations clear? Or do you passive aggressively sulk when you pull yourself away from your computer to “help her out” because she’s violating a covert contract? And why can’t she handle the kids? Is she fried from picking up all your slack? Or is she being lazy and taking advantage of the fact that you jump up whenever asked, and maybe you …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:14 PM
1

Looking forward to what the ninja attacks with next. Can you see any issues with this statement?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 08:16 PM
1

That’s a good question. I’ve had your comment from last week swirling in my head a while. The fact is I can pull some interest, spark up conversations, and maintain them fairly well in the handful of times I’ve tried. But I don’t polarize. No kino. Nothing beyond a bit of light teasing. The “I could get other women” stuff was ego. Two weeks or so ago I was mulling over the question of: what do I actually want to get out of talking to other women? I want the practice. But for whatever reason I ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 08:03 PM
1

This is a common thing and there's a lot out on there on this anxiety. It all boils down to a lack of confidence and giving too many fucks what other people think about you. Day Bang and Models both have a lot of good content on conversations. I don't know your baseline but if you're really anxious some reading is a good place to start. It only goes away with experience, but at least having some basic familiarity around creating conversation threads, nonverbals, etc. gives you some confidence an…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 07:44 PM
2

Almost all of the issues here are due to me. I would have never had this realization before discovering this place. Things are better but I am good at sabotaging myself here by going to porn, not pushing for what I want. Not initiating enough. Fearing rejection. Being butthurt at times. This week was shark week. Sex 1 time before it started and BJ one time in between. Sometimes starfish sometimes good sex. This is on me to make it better. At times I just do not have the motivation to push for mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 07:28 PM
1

Goal for this week is to force some interactions with women in general. I’m sure you don’t mean it this way literally, but the words you use are still revealing. Force some interactions? That mindset makes you destined for failure. Imagine talking to someone who doesn’t really convey that they want to be talking to you. It's uncomfortable right? Why does anything have to be forced? Are you saying you have to force yourself to do it because you don’t want to/you’re anxious?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 07:21 PM
3

Flexibility is great, but I end up looking after the kids during the day then working until 10pm at night to get my work done and hours in. This gives me next to no time for myself or to spend with my wife. Stop being a victim This has been part of the decline over the years - she used to give me grief about travelling for work, or getting home 'late' at 5:30pm - so over time I've positioned myself to not need to travel and the flexibility to be home early, only for the stakes to be raised furth…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 02:29 PM
1

OYS #9 (2-8-22) 34yo, 6'0, 181.1#, 13.1% BF (navy), 2 kids Physical 5/3/1: DL 195x11, OHP 100x6, SQ 200x10, BP 140x11 Bulk results this week = +1.9lb (8-week Goal = weigh 185 on March 21; 1lb/week excluding deload weeks). I fucked up and ate too much this week. I deloaded last week and my weight did not increase, and my two-week average says 180.2, so it may not be that bad. My waist is still about 32-32.25, so my BF is 13.1% based on navy method. In the end I'd rather err on the side of putting…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 01:22 PM
2

Awesome post, I love to see a good success story. Question for you. I think just about everyone's progress is nonlinear. There's peaks and valleys, bursts and plateaus. What was the toughest thing for you to work through during the last year? The most rewarding?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/22 09:08 PM
2

Hmm, I'm not sure what you mean on the bench. I went through my StrongLifts app history, and I think I peaked at about 165 for 5 reps (185max) way back in 2018. I was still squirrelish about the tweaked shoulder so I didn't really bench much in the interim outside of maintenance. A lot of dumbell stuff to take some shoulder pressure off. Then I stopped for all of 2020 and then some. I started SL back up in earnest in April 2021 at 95lb and worked my way up to 155 3x5 in August. I plateaued for 2…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/22 03:52 AM
5

OYS #8 (2-1-22) 34yo, 6'0, 179.3# (+0.2), ~13.1% BF (navy), 2 kids 5/3/1 deload week (3x5): DL 200, OHP 100, SQ 205, BP 145 2 Month Review I posted in askMRP during the week and it made me realize how my ego has made me borderline delusional. Rejections earlier in the week got under my skin and I failed to follow through on other goals. At this point, I need a week to get oriented and make sure I'm focusing on the things that are right for me and not just bullshitting myself about what's actuall…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/22 02:29 PM
1

Short answer is that I haven’t been lifting the whole time, there were long breaks where I lost a lot of gains and got fatter. Bench max has gone from 186 to 192 since starting 531
/r/askMRP29/01/22 11:58 AM
1

Fuck. This is a brutal spotlight. I haven't looked at my first OYS in a long time. I'm realizing now that ego is holding me back on a lot more than initiations. I need to get my head on right. I appreciate it.
/r/askMRP28/01/22 10:18 PM
1

Yeah in the end I think it may be this simple and I need to expand my options anyway. I just get really confused on this dynamic where all of the “no’s” really look a lot like “not yet but keep pushing” (see that Bill Burr video I added). I mean is it just me or is it a total mindfuck that the kind of “no” Burr impersonates would actually turn into a hard no?
/r/askMRP28/01/22 07:46 PM
19

Look man you aren't going to get any good advice here if you don't actually put any effort into your post. Let's see the "before" enlargement pictures and we'll figure this out.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 08:45 PM
3

I was told I only cared I was asked what I wanted to watch Dude, the point is not literally to just not say “she”. Changing the sentences to first person passive to get around using the word is not putting yourself at the center of your OYS. You are still not consistently the main character of this story. You are not your mental point of origin
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 11:15 AM
1

I haven't thought about it from the angle of ego before, so I'll have to think on that a bit. Going with my reply above to Asthmatic, I dove maybe too deep into my career at the expense of everything else. I don't want to do that again, I want balance. I admire those Olympic athletes who can somehow spend their whole life trying to be a fast runner or whatever, but grinding out those incremental, quarter-second gains by training for hours and hours on end just doesn't seem appealing. Me? I would…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 04:37 AM
3

Direct question: have you ever mastered anything? I’m not asking if you’re the best in the world at something. I’m asking if you’ve ever truly experienced visiting or living in the top level of a skill Yes. I’m going to try not to ego-jerk-off all over you here. In a nutshell, I traded my 20s for my career. I devoted a ton of time and my life to getting really good at a skill set that is valuable but not especially common. I’m glad I did it because it gives me a solid “base” (i.e., I have money,…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 04:31 AM
2

Sent you a DM
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/22 06:05 PM
2

I have a really shitty memory. It has been really in my face this past week forgetting things that I need to do. I'm so routine focused that no matter how hard I want to I can't see anything outside of my routine. If I need to remember to reserve some thing for a fun weekend, I won't remember I also have a shitty memory and Todoist has been a life saver for me. It takes a bit of tinkering to get it to work for you, but it's been worth it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 12:45 PM
8

Against the advice of many, especially here, I went through with getting married last spring. You're a pussy. Seriously man. You knew about this place and chose to get married anyway in the state you're in. Do you have oneitis for this girl? 11 OYS posts, and you're still failing the easiest softball shit tests. I got news for you: whatever the fuck you're doing is not working at all You know what the next stop is? Getting bullied into having kids. You need a serious course correction.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 12:37 PM
5

OYS #7 (1-25-22) 34yo, 6'0, 179.1#, ~13.1% BF (navy), 2 kids Physical 5/3/1: DL 210x9, OHP 110x3, SQ 215x6, BP 155x8 Bulk results this week = +1.2lb (8-week Goal = weigh 185 on March 7). I prefer to gain closer to 0.8 - 1.0 lbs per week, so I overshot this by a bit. Still getting neck pain on one side from OHP. I had to skip BBB accessory on this. If a week off from lifting heavy on OHP during deload week doesn't reset things, I'll spend more time figuring this out. Parenting I had three goals i…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/22 11:20 AM
1

And either that means I have it easy, or the more likely thing is that I've just got some blind spots. I remember in one of your recent OYS posts you were waiting for the other shoe to drop and hamstering about whether you've "made it". From where I'm sitting it looks like you're doing pretty damn good. It seems like your ego is in check and your foot is on the gas. Maybe you're the Prize and doubting yourself and your judgment isn't helping anything. Do you think you're the Prize?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/22 03:23 PM
12

It’s been said before over and over and I’ll say it again. MRP is not a paint-by-numbers program. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” solution. You have to decide for yourself how to use the praxeology toolkit. The only difficult part for guys is figuring out what 'working' means. Thats why this place has always been amoral. But before you can decide what ‘working’ means, you have to first answer the basic, essential question of “what do I want?” Most guys who land here don’t know. For frameless, lif…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 04:11 PM
3

I’ve been thinking a lot on my mission lately and it’s still under construction after doing the UM exercise this week. I like this post because I think it complements the UM exercise (especially the header, “what your mission should be”). One thing I didn’t get a clear sense from with the UM exercise is about values. You write out a bunch of things you want to do, are good at, etc. But I think those things (for me) are just concrete representations of a deeper purpose and set of values. For exam…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 03:24 PM
4

If there’s a particular set of things you’re having a hard time standing up to her about, I found it helpful to script out a conversation in advance then think about how to apply the WISNIFG techniques. You probably know what she’s going to say anyway. This helped me grease the wheels and not get caught off guard. If you have a hard time standing up to her in general about everything, that’s probably a different issue altogether.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/22 01:15 PM
1

is this honestly what you want? I appreciate the prod and the chance to think on this in more depth. These are good questions. In a nutshell, I want freedom in all areas of my life. In my career, my leisure time, financially, etc. Sexually, this means having options. "Options" not necessarily because I'm currently fucking someone else. Instead, options means developing some prospects, along with the skill to close. This means widening a social circle, but not with an explicit focus on labeling p…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 03:50 AM
3

So, you talked to a girl? Is this your first time? Haha, in a way yes. Never did a cold approach before with a girl one-on-one that I wanted to fuck (at least not that I can remember). Every girl I've dated, I've had a "reason" to talk to in advance (career beta).
/r/MarriedRedPill19/01/22 03:18 AM
1

Good points. I’m due to audit myself on this in more depth soon. Boundaries and consistency are rarely a problem, it’s just that he very often blows up when they are applied. Which makes me think some tweaks will make enforcing boundaries consistently more effective. Doing things for him, on the other hand, I’m not great with. I posted in a past OYS that urgency causes me to get frustrated and yell, but it also causes me to do things for him, which is not good. On detaching, you and sea-tease ab…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 09:57 PM
2

What do you mean by this? How/why are they going off? They’re 6 and 2, there’s any number of random reasons they start whining, fighting complaining. How/why detach? I mean detach more in the sense of emotionally (not physically). When the toddler is screaming about a broken banana, and the 6yo needs to show me something or answer a question this very second, my attention gets split and I get frustrated. I’ve been working with the other one on being patient and waiting until I’m ready to listen …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 01:04 PM
2

OYS #6 (1-18-22) 34yo, 6'0, 177.9#, 13.1% BF (navy) Physical 5/3/1: DL 200x10, OHP 100x6, SQ 205x7, BP 145x9 Bulk results this week = +1.0lb (8-week Goal = weigh 185 on March 7). Success on this one. Normally I set rep goals for each session, but I forgot to on the day I squatted. Paired with that my knee felt a bit off so I wasn't inclined to push it. I ended up 1 rep short of what I did last week on 205 which was disappointing since I'm trying to add one rep a week to everything but OHP. I've …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/22 11:49 AM
2

This is good advice. I’ve been doing the ‘plan b’ mental plan for rejections and that helps a lot. It works for me because I get out of the tunnel vision on sex and realize there’s a lot of other things I want/needs to get done.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/22 12:45 PM
1

He’s 6. I do think his case is a bit different, outside of weak fathering the others in the list don’t apply. One of the first things we noticed was how much energy he has so he’s gotten into a routine of being physically active regularly, but it doesn’t change much. The irony is that sometimes it makes it worse because he’s exhausted and has a harder time regulating due to that.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/22 12:40 PM
1

The last few years both my boys began to exhibit strong “ADD/ADHD traits” according to their teachers who pushed diagnosis and drugs. I refused and picked up the slack at home to keep them self directed I’m not inherently opposed to medication, but I also don’t know much about it yet. No one has recommended meds, but I’m definitely going to do my own research. When you say you picked up the slack at home, what does that mean? Are there particular behaviors you used, or certain goals you set? I’m…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 03:47 PM
3

I also hate when people tell me to do something that I'm already planning to do and this happens all the time at home. I've started to use some kind of AM where I ask her if she's a mind reader and what am I thinking now. I can barely say "yeah I was already going to do that" without sounding butthurt, because I am. Ha! Me too. Stop defending yourself with silly bullshit DEERing like "yeah I was already going to do that". If you were really going to do it anyway, who cares? It probably bothers y…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 03:22 PM
2

I devoured the sidebar material. So does everyone else when they get here. The odds that you've actually absorbed the material is very low. Now that you have a lay of the land, reread it all again at a sustainable pace and practice it as you go. When I was a kid, my mother used to threaten to leave. She did this in order to manipulate my father, but it didn’t work, so she used it to manipulate me and my brother instead. Of course I know now that women do things like that. But when I was a kid, i…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 03:11 PM
1

Seems like they really just want to do something around beer, which I’m not a big fan of and now don’t want to drink due to diet. This is hamster bullshit, just go and don't drink. Finding friends is easier when you have hobbies. Do you have hobbies?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/22 03:41 AM
1

I could do more to take command of the ship and be the one steering. To be proactive instead of reactive. And that's generally the feedback I get whenever she gets pissed and slips into Overt Communication mode with me. I've been doing a lot better in this regard than before, but I find that when I start autopiloting I start reacting. Looking for some feedback on this -- what have you guys done to keep yourself aware of that? What are some examples of you being reactive instead of proactive here…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 06:52 PM
1

The more I think about it, the answer is mainly no, which is helpful. In the short term, no it doesn’t change much. It potentially gives him (and I) an out for bad behavior, which is on my radar and I’m trying to avoid with realistic expectations. It’s the uncertainty of the long term that scares me. I see my role as a parent as preparing him with skills to get or do whatever he wants in the future. In the end, the diagnosis doesn’t change this, it just means my approach will likely be somewhat …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 05:29 PM
1

I brought this post up because it seems like you’re doing all kinds of mental gymnastics, when possibly it’s much simpler than all that. It’s about frame. Anything outside your frame is irrelevant or amusing. If things are getting under your skin, it’s because you don’t have frame. If your method is working for you, by all means keep doing it. But I think it’s worth looking at this through the lens of “frame” as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 02:34 PM
1

I am terrified how a divorce would scar my daughter and my relationship to my daughter. We have a wonderful relationship now and I will do everything I can to keep me as her hero. We are all good now, but every divorce-story I read about women demonizing the father of their kids after separation makes me really sad and worried. I have a lot of the same thoughts. Down at the core of it, you don’t believe you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way after a divorce. It’s unpredictable and that…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 02:21 PM
1

First off, if I was pissed about something, it probably meant I wasn't in control Anger is your best diagnostic tool
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 01:29 PM
1

That’s really interesting, what does that look like for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 12:51 PM
7

OYS #5 (1-11-22) 34yo, 6'0, 176.9# (-0.2), ~12.6% BF (navy) Physical 5/3/1: DL 190x9, OHP 95x6, SQ 195x10, BP 140x12 Had some issues with my regular gym so I swung by a planet fitness to get my workouts in. There are no power racks there, only smith machines, so that's how I benched and squatted this week. I'm not eating enough food so my bulk is off for this past week. I got my meal prep squared away on Sunday for the current week to get back on track. If I don't gain a pound by next week I'm e…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/22 12:02 PM
2

WINSIFG broken record, etc. are some keys to breaking this. Wow, I never put that together before. I usually do some version of broken record with my kids but haven't thought about it as "WISNIFG broken record". This is a great mindset shift. Yelling is my weak point because I just react without thinking sometimes. Applying WISNIFG will probably help create some distance and cool off my temper here.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 01:56 AM
1

Definitely true, I appreciate the advice. As soon as I said it, I cringed a bit and knew I fucked up because it sounded all wrong. Using dominant language with initiations usually ends up with bigger shit tests and stalemates that lead to nothing, so I think I've overcorrected here.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 01:42 AM
1

I’m curious how you see this. Is there a dead giveaway in the post? Genuine question.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 01:37 AM
1

I would be careful letting someone else set expectations for you, and then trying to fulfill their expectations. I like this comment because the danger is definitely there, and to some extent I feel a slight pull to jump through someone else’s hoop. Why you do something is just as important as what you do. So approaching this as a convert contract or a way to make my wife like me more is just a waste of time. In the end, I want to do something about it, for me, because it will benefit me broadly…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/22 01:30 AM
11

OYS #4 (1-4-22) 34yo, 6'0, 177.1# (-0.3), ~12.6% BF (navy) Physical I skipping lifting during 531 deload week due to being out of town without access to a gym. I made it up to myself by specifically not eating like a fatass while on vacation. I dropped a small amount of weight this week. Social Normally being on vacation with my wife's side of family feels like a chore. My goal for the week was to make it fun for myself and be more proactive. Managing my son was a lot more work than I expected s…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/22 12:46 PM
8

What does being a good husband look like to MRP? You're very lost, in a really sad way. I'll toss you a freebie. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7lolrm/thoughts_on_frame/ https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/km5m65/found_mrp_you_do_you_or_why_you_dont_have_frame/
/r/askMRP31/12/21 12:15 AM
3

This is your fucking problem. All of it. Can you spot the scarcity mindset here? When sex is on the table. Godamn dude. It's always on the table. Wow, this hits the nail on the head. I had all of the pieces in front of me but couldn’t put them together. I’ve let myself get stuck in this shitty, “one week per month cycle” for so long I’ve taken it as a given. I’ve never literally thought this, but my behavior reflects it. And I know it’s right on point because there were other mouth noises I didn…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 08:41 PM
3

OYS #3 (12-28-21) 34yo, 6'0, 177.4# (+0.4), ~12.6% BF (navy) 5/3/1: DL 200x8 , OHP 105x5, SQ 205x8, BP 150x8 Parenting Blarg's post about the mindset of a man who fucks has been tremendously helpful. At one point I was going for the angle of: I should change my mental models so I am never upset or affected. This aligns with the idea that anything outside your frame is interesting or amusing. But the fact is, people get angry, so what do you do with that? Looking over my notes from this week, I h…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/21 01:28 PM
1

I haven't had anything approaching a main event yet. And that's probably because I still have a lot longer to go until I'm there. Maybe I'm not leading as much as I think I am, maybe I'm still more in her frame than I realize. But I feel like I'm not seeing something, or like there's something missing, or something that should be happening that isn't. Like there's something more I should be doing. So you won’t “reach the finish line” until you see main event snot bubbles? You’re measuring your p…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/21 03:58 PM
1

What could adress both of theses issues quicker than a drug fix for the kid? Thanks for the question. I’ve sat with this awhile and it seems like patience derived from realistic expectations is really the common denominator. Part of it is that I want others to fall into line so I can pursue my own agenda. They won’t always want to go where I’m leading them. Even with a stellar track record, this isn’t realistic. The other piece of it is that when my son acts up, I take it personally. It’s like h…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 09:19 PM
6

The great thing about AWALT is that even if you make all these mistakes, when you turn things around, she is going to respond as programmed to the new you (as it sounds like she is already). Let him and make and break his own covert contracts
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 03:15 PM
3

I cried to myself one day as it finally sunk in that that my marriage might not survive and that there is not any real life or MRP cheat codes that can help me with this. Another huge blow up with my wife where she cried asked me what I wanted, but I still did not have an answer. It’s surprising you’re so worried about your marriage not surviving when you don’t even know what you want it to look like. Not having to close the door to take a piss at home around my wife. Would you describe pissing …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 02:54 PM
5

I'm not getting the displays of affection that I want from my wife You listed three problems, this is seriously in your top 3? Aiming to pick up a proper wristwatch soon Hamilton is a solid entry-level brand I’ve been lifting for about 6 months now. And you bench 116 at 180lbs? Bullshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 02:02 PM
2

OYS 2 (cont.) Frame At my worst, I'm boring and cynical. I have a disposition toward anxiety that I sometimes allow to drag me down. I've been letting life just happen to me, reacting to other people instead of being proactive. Taking a "warm and demanding" approach to my son really brought out the best in me this week. The thing is, it's not my default setting; I have to turn it on. Once I decide to stop being a bitch, it all just seems to flow. There's a lot of talk about gifts in MRP, and thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 11:52 AM
7

OYS #2 (12-21-21) 34yo, 6'0, 177# (+1), ~12.6% BF (navy) 5/3/1 Cycle 2: DL 190x9 , OHP 100x6, SQ 195x10, BP 140x10 Last week I got the clear feedback I need to focus on discipline and action. I stepped back to take a big picture view of my life to figure out the areas that would benefit the most from action. I focused on two things: planning and parenting. The first thing I did was add a new routine to my evenings. I spend 30+ minutes reflecting on how the day went relative to my goals and getti…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 11:52 AM
10

5 “she”s in one sentence, that’s gotta be a new record
/r/askMRP17/12/21 05:49 PM
1

I also have a strong tendancy to default to non-theatening behaviours, words, and body language. I want people to feel like I'm not dangerous. This means I usually end up neutering myself and can't polarize. Here’s a fun story to go with this topic. There was a cute 20-something teacher at one of my kids’ old daycares. She and I chatted a lot. Mostly about my son, but other times we’d linger on other topics. There was a small vibe there. One day I was feely frisky, and I imagined her sucking my …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/21 08:53 PM
1

I was stuck in the same loop. You will be to until you stop measuring your progress based on your wife’s reaction you. Solid point. This gives me a lot of food for thought, thanks for pointing it out. It's a really tough needle to thread, isn't it? One the one hand, your wife is a mirror/container/whatever, and by and large, if she's not attracted it probably means you're unattractive. You should drop your ego and accept you have more work to do. But that mental model essentially forces you to m…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/21 04:15 AM
1

You give too many fucks about how your wife sees you. Who cares if she thinks you’re competent? You’re the judge, what do you think?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 06:01 PM
2

I just said light-heartedly “ok we’ll never have a good marriage !!” and went to do something else. I'm going to second ragnar's comment and push you to read it again because it's not clear you got the message. A&A is supposed to be funny. When it works best for me, it's when I exaggerate something dumb my wife said to point out she's being bratty, dramatic, etc. and it snaps her out of it and we have a laugh together. I'm not affected by what she said because it's just bullshit, so I respond wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 01:57 AM
1

All good points. For my bulk, each week I've gained: +1.9 (whoops), +0.4, +0.5, +0.9, +0.6, -1.3 (sick). My waist went from 32 to 32.5. So I think it's actually that first week I really messed up and where most of the fat is coming from. We'll see how adding in BBB works out, but I don't think I need to change up my calories just yet. Does that seem about right to you?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 01:26 AM
2

A lot of post-hoc rationalization in there. I appreciate the comment. I think what's happened is I got over being butthurt about rejections by putting it on her instead of my own unattractiveness. This coincided with reading Models and I took the mantra “I am enough” too literally. Instead of judging myself impartially, I gave myself a pass. You should have waited a week, done stuff, then posted. You're right, I’ll have this sorted for next week’s OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/21 01:20 AM
2

How are you measuring your weight? Do you weigh yourself each morning and then take a weekly average? Yes Do you see the pattern here? I think it's wider than just Mystery Method. From the comments it's becoming obvious to me I need to focus a lot more on discipline and action. Thanks for the nudge.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 10:14 PM
1

Wow, when you lay out all the quotes like that, I've clearly just been navel-gazing. I need to focus more on action, thanks. 2- become a divorce fantasy novelist Ha! I'll be revising my goals tonight. Although now I have to wonder if there's a market for that kind of lit.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 10:11 PM
1

Fix yourself and then the divorce questions will naturally come to you without having to ask the internet. This is good advice, I appreciate it. Obviously I'm not ready or in a position to nuke this, so there's no point in wasting time thinking about it. your mindset is shitty I'm not sure what you mean here, is there something in the post that stuck out to you?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 05:05 PM
1

OYS #18 OYS #1 (12-14-21) 34yo, 6'0, 176#, 12.6% BF (navy), 2 kids (under 6) I found MRP in September 2017, had a decent 9-month run of improvement, then stopped OYS altogether after moving and starting a new job in mid-2018. I continued checking in to read the sub in the mean time, but at this point my progress has stopped and I need to get accountable to myself. Physical Stalled on StrongLifts 5x5 this year, so I started 5/3/1 just recently, Cycle 1: DL 190x8, OHP 100x6, SQ 200x9, BP 145x9 I h…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/21 12:04 PM
1

Sounds like you're off to a solid start. Keep your foot on the gas. I have always been a passive guy and she is very assertive and that is now obvious the root of our issues. You've got your hands full on this one. Ask me how I know. Keep WISNIFG handy. This should get you started
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 07:58 PM
1

at the same time I believe that every single interaction is going to go nowhere. Abundance doesn’t help with one interaction if abundance is merely the prospect of an endless string of failure. You’re not having fun with this. That’s understandable; you’re getting divorced. I haven’t been there, but I can imagine that regardless of whether it was your choice, how prepared you are, and how confident you are in the decision, that’s some heavy shit to process. At least you don’t have kids. I don’t …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 06:39 PM
3

Higher ed is about to go through a major disruption. Beyond wider cultural attitudes questioning if a 4-year degree is really worth it, university administrators across the country (US) are currently shitting their pants about the upcoming demographic cliff and the insurmountable enrollment declines on the horizon. There’s a lot of dead-schools-walking out there. I’d think long and hard about where that degree would take you. My instinct says consulting will go a lot further than an administrati…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 05:20 PM
3

With observation, my mental block is mostly my own filters. I tend to run everything I’m going to say through a checklist to make sure it sounds cool and interesting and not rapey. There is no way I’m going to be successful thinking like this. I think the root problem is ego- I’m just afraid to look dumb, so my standards are too high. Or more specifically, it’s a nice guy thing; seek approval, avoid disapproval. So approach helped me find and work on removing more Nice Guy behavior. The basic pl…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 09:48 PM
2

This is just common sense, but I picked it up from Day Bang. Men talk to accomplish something. Women talk just to talk. Talking in and of itself is comforting to them. But there’s always a nuance. For me, my time part of her reward for doing well as a wife. If she’s been shitty that day then obviously I don’t because I don’t feel like it. Verbal intercourse is optional Also, it can’t be a covert contract for sex or “better odds of sex”. If you’re sitting there looking at the clock and waiting fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 07:55 PM
3

After skimming through your post history, I think you and I have somewhat similar personalities and relationships, so I’ll weigh in and hopefully we’ll both get some value out of it. I’ve recently heard a lot of the same comments from my wife and here is what I see in your situation (which seems to have rung true in my situation). “You only want me for sex” is usually a shit test. But in your (and my) situation, I don’t think that’s the case. Your wife is actually going overt because you are too…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 04:29 PM
5

All of your goals start with: I want my wife to... Do you see the problem there?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 03:52 PM
3

OYS #17 Currently 6', 169#, 13%BF. I was up to 178# at my height this past year then lost all my gains. I stopped going to the gym and let life get in the way. I sold a house, bought a house, moved across the country, and started a new job. I've been off track with workouts for about five months. I did keep my diet in check. I hurt my shoulder benching before all this and I used the transition as an excuse to give it some time to heal since I've got a full plate at work. Still isn't 100%, but I …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 03:36 PM
4

She is a virgin (except 1 guy oral a few years ago). I've seen evidence of it. What the fuck does that mean? I am very seriously considering marriage. I am convinced of her loyalty and vice versa. Idiot. I don't think that even if she wanted to be unfaithful that she could get away with it without them knowing. Scarcity mindset I have some serious flaws and she loves me in spite of them and accepts me for who I am. You have to be kidding. She has the stoic temperament typical of an average man a…
/r/askMRP13/08/18 07:23 PM
3

Don't have a budget yet I use youneedabudget. There's an annual subscription fee but I think it's worth it because I hate typing transactions manually and it's a lot more flexible than mint. There's a bit of a learning curve on tracking credit cards. More importantly, think over how you are going to lead the new "we budget our money" lifestyle. There's a bunch of posts on finances in MRP. Rhetorically, what will you do with all the money you're saving? Why will your wife stick to your budget, as…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 07:19 PM
6

I never thought about this but it's a good idea. Familiarity breeds contempt.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 02:32 PM
1

Good points. Early on I did try redirecting my attention toward my kid and it did help. But as things dragged on with the shit tests, playing with my kid wasn't working. Trying to play with a toddler when you're fuming just didn't work for me. I couldn't let it go. So I said fuck it, I'm angry, pretending to be happy is awkward, so I'm going to go do something else. It's butthurt, but I just accepted the anger.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 02:30 PM
2

Second half of the cycle. After ovulating, before shark week
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 02:15 PM
12

OYS #16 My goal last week was to clarify my mission/MAP. I'm posting what I've got so far below. It's clear to me now after reviewing a few posts like this one that this is way too vague. I liked this post for identifying some high-level content themes like: challenges, relationships, creativity, and health. Mission Do all of the below with a mindset toward the values of: Optimism, Responsibility, Self-control, Growth, Autonomy, Achievement, Fun Personal Healthy, Strong, Attractive, & Physically…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 12:06 PM
2

She brought up divorce again, as usual. At least this time I actually said, "Look, do you want to leave or not?" Don't throw the decision to divorce on her. Instead: "well, you've already got some of your shit packed, I'll help you with the rest when we get home." I think I push this because I'm trying to manipulate her into killing the puppy so she thinks it was her idea to finally do it and maybe that will make it easier on me. I'm scared of actually doing it because it will be hard. What does…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 02:02 PM
1

OYS #15 6', 171#, 11-12%BF It's been a few weeks since my last OYS. Shit has been very busy, and I've been letting things slide. I read RuleZeroDad's post on action right when I needed to. I've been skating by for the last month with little growth or challenge. I'm hovering at a half-hearted DL3 (my schedule is not busy enough with social stuff) with a lot of missed gym sessions. I hamster that I have too much to do, which is a half truth. I need to experiment with pulling more time out of my da…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 01:49 PM
1

OYS #14 6', 170#, 11-12%BF Missed last week's OYS Physical This week I got in touch with a personal trainer who's built like a brick shithouse. Planning to go in a couple weeks once I work my way back up to heavier weights from my deload. I read a bunch when starting SL5x5 and tried to develop good form early on, but when the weights got heavier I slipped. I fucked my shoulder up before and have no intention of doing it again. I want to work with somebody face-to-face to be sure my form is corre…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 12:04 PM
2

This time I asked wife before if she wanted to make a child friendly climbing trip to a local crag This might be relevant to you. Never take a woman fishing.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 01:08 PM
1

Great point, I need to get a copy of Day Bang.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/18 03:08 AM
1

extremely irrational Definitely true. There's a ton of research on it that's worth looking at
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/18 03:02 AM
1

OYS #13 6', 171#, 11-12%BF Physical Made it to the gym once this past week (out of town with back-to-back appts and staying with friends), but I'm set to get back to my 3/week schedule from here on out. After a 6-week hiatus from BP, BR, and OHP, I think my shoulder is ready to lift again. Did OHP yesterday and things feel okay. Definitely looking forward to doing a full SL workout again. Sticking to the program this time and not rearranging lifts. The SL app is deloading me huge but again, I'm …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/18 12:38 PM
1

If she really wants to blow yoga-dude, she's going to. It's not in your control so stop worrying about it. Easier said than done, but just get busy and focus on yourself. I agree with the other comments that the right answer is DGAF and she's probably just trying to get a rise out of you. I could be wrong but it seems like it doesn't really matter if you give her the number or not. What matters is that your response is congruent with your frame, which is what this shit test is about. If you real…
/r/askMRP15/05/18 06:49 PM
2

Give her the phone number to a breast enhancement clinic/plastic surgeon/weight loss coach. said I should ask him for advice on sex any more context on what the fuck that is about?
/r/askMRP15/05/18 06:10 PM
1

when you make this move you really have to STFU, man up and work from a clean slate. You are the one dragging baggage along. Leave it behind with the move Thanks, that's a great way of putting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 05:59 PM
1

Fair points. I got myself tripped up in guilt over circumstances that may never even happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 05:50 PM
2

I did sit ups and pushups but I don’t really count them. Just gaming my wife and she’s not very receptive, mostly eye-rolls.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 12:37 PM
0

OYS #12 6', 170#, 11%BF Still slammed with the move. Only one notable thing this week. I talked. It was a measured decision in advance (but actually only mostly-measured in hindsight). We're moving and she's quitting her job to come with me. I'm out of the anger phase and I don't have any interest in surprising her with a divorce after she's dropped everything to move with me (she thought everything was just peachy). I told her I want to be married to her, but I won't be in a sexless marriage fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/18 10:59 AM
1

I appreciate it
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/18 02:22 PM
1

Easier to pass comfort tests, but I’m probably only 2/2. Comfort tests come in the form of anxious about life stuff, not dread. For shit tests I’m still occasionally DEERing. Drop a hint about the hidden gem? Not seeing it yet. Double down on frame and WISNIFG for better results?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 05:37 PM
2

OYS #11 6', 170#, 11-12%BF I'm still fucking swamped with this move. I'm taking it in stride and definitely not complaining about it at home, but "totally fucking swamped" is where I'm at. I've spread things out over the last 4 months, but these last three weeks are going to be tight. I'm not especially anxious about it because I still believe it's all going to get done. Making sure our priorities are straight and doubling down on effort is all there is to it. OYS has a new meaning to me lately.…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 12:18 PM
2

OYS #10 6', 171#, 11%BF This week (and the rest of this month will be) was slow for MRP. I'm getting my house ready to be put on the market. If I'm awake, I'm either working or getting the house ready. It is what it is, and it'll be done soon. Physical Lifts: Only made it to the gym 1 of 3 days. Diet: Steady Frame Being really busy does wonders for a genuine DGAF attitude, so that's a plus. I need to do a better job making sure my MAP is filled up with shit to do. Leadership Task Most of my acti…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/18 11:45 AM
3

I see shitty shoes everywhere, especially at work. Most dudes don’t realize that those crappy $80 “leather” shoes from Kohls are actually more expensive than $250 Allen Edmonds Park Avenues on a factory-seconds sale. Why? Because shitty Kohl’s shoes wear out after a year or two and you have to go back and buy some more. Full grain leather shoes will last 10+ years if you take care of them, and if you have goodyear welted soles, you can just get them resoled for like $30. So would you rather wear…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/18 01:24 PM
1

Ha, I can see why you'd say that. For me nothing beats a GShock in the "cheap digitial beater" category, but people tend to either love them or hate them.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 11:07 PM
2

I’m going to throw in a really short watch guide. I love watches. Mainly because I like knowing what time it is at all times, but also because the engineering behind how an automatic watch works is cool (skip to 5 minutes in). This is a really subjective topic since everyone has different tastes, but here are a few rules of thumb I follow. First, really big watches look fucking stupid. Unless your wrists are more than 8”, the max diameter on a watch face should be 40mm. More specifically, the wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 09:15 PM
7

The art of manliness blog has a bunch of good posts about men's style. You touched on two good topics that AoM dives into with more depth: fit and versatility I updated my dress shirts for work about a year ago, and the difference between good-fitting shirts and shitty-fitting shirts is night and day. Just knowing where the seams should sit on your body and how snug it should be around your neck, chest, etc. makes shopping easier too. For example, I can’t wear banana republic dress shirts, they …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 08:22 PM
1

This shitty background context... We have had sex about 3 times a year lately. Paired with this inciting event...(BTW you know that she googled the shit out of that book, right?) her confronting me about seeing MMSLP in the Amazon search history. She got upset because she thought I should have come to her first if I thought our sex life needs improving. WTF, over? Leads to meth-hamster... She's been REALLY hamstering about the marriage this week. LOTS of talk like, "Just tell me you're never goi…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/18 01:23 PM
3

OYS #9 7 months of MRP 6', 171#, 11%BF Physical Lifts - Skipped lifting MWF last week altogether to let shoulder heal. Went yesterday, back to a 3/week routine. Diet - Changed it up a bit. I listened to a podcast about micronutrients so I'm adding in a big salad every day with tomatoes and broccoli. I'm also starting to think I've got a bit of lactose intolerance so I'm cutting back on dairy. I cut back a bit on eating since I didn't lift and lost more weight than I wanted to (-2lbs). It seems l…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/18 12:04 PM
1

If I lay down a boundary, and say it juuuuust right with all the correct MRP moves, she will respect the boundary, and I'll buy myself more time to unfuck myself and this marriage. I clearly give a fuck, and her response is not under my control. Fuck. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/18 01:22 AM
7

All this boils down to my experience of the success of the MRP as a sexual strategy. Never before did I doubt paternity or fidelity in an consistent way. Now it's a daily thought. The question of: "has my wife cheated on me in the past?" will never get answered definitively for you or anyone else. You can't build a time machine and catch her in the act 3 months ago. The way your hamster is spinning now, even positive paternity tests will not ease your mind. After all, she could have had sex but …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/18 02:50 PM
2

OYS #8 7 months of MRP 6', 173#, 12%BF SQ150, DL210, N/A (shoulder): BR, OHP, BP Physical Lifts: Due to the shoulder injury, I'm stopping BR, OHP, and BP for at least one month, maybe two. I now realize benching every workout was a dumb idea. There's so much emphasis on legs in SL, so I wanted to add more upper body work. I'm going to squat every workout and deadlift every other like SL says. For assistance, I'll keep doing my core workout on the decline bench with a 10# weight and add cable pus…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/18 12:04 PM
1

You need to make sure not to give her room to wonder. I'm not sure what you mean by this. Way before any of this I made it clear that cheating is an automatic divorce. Do you think I should call her on it explicitly by teasing her? "That's your Plan B? You can do better than that babe." Or STFU about it altogether, ignore, and continue building value?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 06:10 PM
1

I’ll give some more context. My wife is generally sociable, she talks to everybody. We always have a, “how was your day” conversation every night. We talk about stuff we did, and for her a lot of the time, her coworker conversations. This male coworker (Dude) is one, among others, that comes up a few times a week. I get the impression he is the one coming by her office, and not really the other way around. They have some shared responsibilities, so there’s a legitimate reason for them to talk, b…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 04:41 PM
1

OYS #7 6', 174# SL: SQ145, OHP100, DL205, BR110, BP125 Physical Bench press update. Still having shoulder pain and it's getting a bit worse. I've been retracting the scapula and stretching everyday. I benched three times since last week since I bench every workout (instead of squat every workout on SL). I have a feeling changing that part of my form up has now messed up other aspects of my form (that I never learned properly). Going to drop the weight way down to 100 or so just to get enough wei…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 01:20 PM
1

OYS #6 30, 6', 174# SQ140, BP120, OHP90, DL195, BR105 Physical Got a physical for the first time in a long time. Everything checked out okay (cholesterol, etc.) except for one thing to keep an eye on. Apparently I've got weak core muscles around groin (probably genetic?) and lifting heavy puts me at risk for a hernia according to the doctor. Going to modify core routine. I was just using the ab crunch machine since I haven't thought much about what a good assistance core routine would look like.…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/18 11:52 AM
5

OYS #5 30, 6', 175lbs, ~14% BF ~6 months in Last week I failed on rereading WISNIFG. I just didn't carve out the time. Physical In the past two weeks I've drank a lot more than usual (~1 beer a night, compared to about 2/week) using not being able to hit the gym (stitches) as an excuse. But, I'm back to lifting tonight now that the stitches are healed up. I actually dropped 1.5 pounds in the past two weeks (about 177 to 175.5), and the BF calculator says most was probably fat. Leadership Overall…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/18 12:00 PM
3

recent investment/venture went sour leaving me broke and in debt This probably threw her over the edge. Before you weren't AF, but at least you were BBs. Now that the money is gone, she doesn't see value in you. If it wasn't this bad investment that threw her over the edge, it probably would have been something else. after her acquaintance flirted with her few weeks ago He started the flirting? She was just an innocent bystander not participating or inviting it right? She has asked you to kill t…
/r/askMRP23/03/18 01:47 PM
1

OYS #4 The themes for this week have been leadership and frame. I got a lot of great suggestions and references on leadership and I've been implementing them. I've continued leading at home, but reworking the Captain/FO dynamic in my marriage. I thought long and hard about these changes, if they would be beneficial, why I was making them, and ensuring they are in my frame. I'm inexperienced leading at home and there's room for improvement, so these changes were necessary and beneficial. In my as…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/18 02:10 PM
1

Are you sure you read it? All your DEERing butthurt responses on this thread say you didn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 06:13 PM
1

OP this post was written for you
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/18 03:28 PM
1

I wrote #4 thinking about ReddJive's comment. My wife historically has had a strong frame, probably due to my pre-MRP beta behavior. Typically clear-headed, unemotional, and rational. Because she is typically that way, I've been expecting her to act like a man, and ignoring her emotional side. But. The dynamic of the marriage is changing, I haven't demonstrated what it all means. I haven't included her in the mission or communicated the vision. She's anxious and uncertain with all the changes in…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/18 06:31 PM
2

OYS #3 Went to the doctor this week to get a cyst removed and ended up with a few stitches on my back. No lifting for 2 weeks. Tried to really pry to see if I could do anything, but the doctor stuck to a cardio-only recommendation the whole time. I'd rather not fuck the stitches up and have them done again. Followed through on goals last week. Stayed out of my own head, brought kino and initiations back. I started to draft an OYS post last night, but ended up with an askMRP post instead. I clear…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/18 04:43 PM
1

Good points. I should have mentioned: After the job anxiety stuff came out, I did go over for a hug because it looked like a comfort test (even though a comfort test seemed unlikely at dread 2). After the hug, she said something along the lines of, "Thanks, but I don't need you to reassure me, I'm just feeling really emotional and it's starting to hit me this is the future".
/r/askMRP13/03/18 02:28 AM
1

Yes, I'm going 3x per week Mon, Wed, Fri. No extra assistance work yet. Getting enough sleep (about 8 hours per night), with slow and steady weight gain. I think it might be two things. One, I need to pay more attention to hitting my macros. Two, I've been letting my form slide a bit as the weights have gotten heavy on squats and rows, which is where I'm stalling. I squat high-bar because my shoulders just aren't flexible enough, so sometimes I'll feel myself leaning forward to recruit more back…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 06:12 PM
1

OYS #2 30, 177lbs, ~14% BF SL3x5: SQ 190#, BP 160, OHP 110 (+5), BR 140, DL 240 (+5). Lifts are starting to stall across the board. Deloaded on bench press and more are probably on the horizon. I've gone from feeling great after the gym to feeling like I got hit by a train. The last time I deloaded a few lifts I came back stronger so I'm still optimistic. Last week, I planned to revamp my MAP. Done. There's a lot of value and clarity gained from having this sorted out. I'm most excited about the…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 03:25 PM
9

OYS#1 First post. Five months in. Me: 30yo, 6', 175lbs, ~13-14% BF, $80k (her: 34 yo, $120k) Doing SL3x5: Squat 190#, BP 160, OHP 105, Row 140, DL 235 Married 3 years; together 9 years, one 2yo toddler Drunk Captain (with a minor in: The captain & her husband minus a huge SMV deficit) Dread Level 3. Reading MRP Wiki X2 NMMNG X1, MMSLP X2, WISNIFG x4 RMY1 x1, MAP x2, 16 commandments x1, Pook x1 SLSM x2 WOTSM x1 Brief relationship history: Wife (then-gf) and I broke up about 3 years in (she initia…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 12:51 PM
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