| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 23 | Women Never Hit the Wall: A Field StudyIt's never too late! I did it in my mid-20s, but my cousin who's 38 froze an average of 10 eggs per egg-freezing cycle. There was one cycle where I only froze 11 eggs, so it really is a matter of luck, fertility (which is fairly arbitrary by the way) and how skilled the clinic is. If you're curious about how 'fertile' you are, get an Ovarian Reserve Test. And for those who can't afford it, have a look at egg-sharing schemes for those 35 and under. I myself bought a multi-cycle package which lowe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 03:39 PM |
| 177 | Women Never Hit the Wall: A Field StudyThe older I get, the hotter, the nicer, the more successful the men I date. I also have 40+ eggs in the freezer, and work at a company that gives free IVF etc as a work benefit. All I need to do is pick a designer sperm (or adopt a dear orphan). Time is irrelevant to me A woman’s ‘wall’ as defined by fertility has been rendered irrelevant. The biggest setback I see is that most men start balding in their 20s and look unappetizing by their 40s. I may have to die alone (and happy) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 11:58 PM |
| 111 | What Are The Signs Of Porn-Sick Men?To add: can’t come, has a crooked penis 🤢🤢🤢, in the bathroom for inordinate periods of time, their phone browser is set to private by default, kinky, critical of your looks (the audacity), hates their mother or was spoiled growing up. They also don’t ‘chase’. They’ve lost the drive for living, breathing women. Creepy perverts! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 11:15 PM |
| 28 | What characteristics are you looking for in a partner?My fantasy list: Preppy, tall, well-mannered, well-educated, clean-cut. Smells good. From a good family. Laidback elegance. A philanthropic heart. Preferably a veterinarian or an art gallery owner. Or is Jack Schlossberg 😩 These are, of course, on top of the must-haves | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/04/22 10:06 PM |
| 26 | I need support, I think I need to break up with himI’m so sorry to hear this. How are you? Please rest and turn off your phone. Everything is okay! There’s no crisis here that needs to be solved right now. Postpone action and worrying to another time, that will help. Just tell yourself you’ll deal with it tomorrow (by tomorrow, you’ll feel calmer). It’s his fault that he gives you so much anxiety, not yours. It’s clear from what you said that he’s neglectful and overly controlling (too busy?). He’s defective. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 09:32 PM |
| 15 | Another Way Women Are Not Aware They Are ShrinkingAll great points. I've been thinking a lot about my own savings, which are just wasting away in my bank. I would love to build my own stock portfolio — and would be grateful for any tips on how to get started! The lack of financial literacy truly is a problem among women. And it leads to so much financial abuse | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 06:45 PM |
| 3 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 45 - Lundy Bancroft Takes The Queens Inside The Minds of Angry & Controlling Men (Part 1)I am literally starstruck! Thank you Lundy for gracing us with your presence & thanks, ladies, for an amazing episode! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 01:12 PM |
| 0 | Should I reciprocate a gift?If you’re not expecting a man you’re dating to give you a Christmas gift, that’s concerning. You’re under no obligation to buy him a gift, especially if you’re not exclusive and are initially dating. A cup of coffee after a date where he takes you out is cheap and impersonal. Of course, you’re most welcome to do as you like! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Should I reciprocate a gift?You have many assumptions from my comment it seems, although I don’t have time to read the rest of your comment. I will gladly buy a man a cup of coffee if I like his gift. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 09:51 PM |
| 9 | Should I reciprocate a gift?Of course he’d get you a gift. Why would you expect anything less? It does seem like you need to work on your self-esteem and standards. Next time you’re out, I’d just offer to pay for coffee or a round of drinks (something cheap). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 05:52 PM |
| 5 | Does anyone feel there’s increased pressure today to be a “cool girl” about trying the craziest stuff? I feel as if men today just get off on degrading women.That’s awful! I’m so sorry you went through that x | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 10:57 PM |
| 21 | I did it!I'm so excited for you! It can only go uphill from here. Warmest wishes from a sister! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/12/21 07:29 PM |
| 9 | [deleted by user]Love your art! 💖 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 09:38 PM |
| 9 | Is FDS a new take on dating or just the pendulum swinging back?What a gross article. Jesus. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/21 10:53 PM |
| 15 | Did I make the right choice in cutting him off?Such a bummer. But sometimes strong chemistry is a bad sign if that feeling has led you astray in the past. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 02:15 PM |
| 7 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 38 - A Very Special Thanksgiving Roast +Thanksgiving Clapback StrategyKind of an iffy episode for me. With microaggressions against millennials and older women, this episode wasn't for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 02:12 PM |
| 30 | Cautionary TaleWell done to you sis. Can I just say what a good person you are for caring for someone else’s mom. You are a gem! You deserve a better man or a happy singlehood, whichever you wish for 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 07:35 AM |
| 92 | Did I make the right choice in cutting him off?Once a guy ‘cancels’ on you, it’s over. I’m so sorry. Also, don’t be with someone who doesn’t mind disappointing you. It will just happen again and again in the future. You did the right thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 07:27 AM |
| 19 | Any advice for my first date in 2 weeks?If you’re nervous, it’s better to keep quiet than to talk too much. Go home early—after 2 hours maximum. Have a great time, sweetheart! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 06:57 PM |
| 29 | Communicating after a first date: am I being a pickme?Please do not text a man first after a date. I see some messages here saying otherwise. Absolutely not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/21 11:17 PM |
| 9 | A man disclosing his mental health/therapy habits early on is an absolute red flagYes. And it also shows a lack of desire to impress you, which is concerning in itself. In the early stages, the man should be putting his best foot forward. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 09:53 PM |
| 11 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 37 - Body Shaming Men For Their Own GoodSuper fun episode! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 12:25 AM |
| 97 | FDS is NOT categorically against OLD.Thank you for this. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with considering various pathways for finding a HVM. Many decent, successful guys go on OLD because they neither have the time nor the opportunity to meet women esp. if they work in a traditionally male-dominated field. Some of my friends met their bfs/husbands on OLD. I’ve been on OLD myself and have only had positive experiences. Yes, I went out with well-educated, go-getting nice men. But then again, I’m a detached dater: I check OLD once e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/11/21 12:13 AM |
| 2 | How long to wait for men to reply? (Busy career-oriented men)If he hasn’t responded to you within the same amount of time that you got back to him, it’s not a good sign. Besides, the goal of messaging men on OLD (and after meeting up) is for them to ask you out on a date. 5 maximum messages from you and if he hasn’t asked you out yet, you should move on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/11/21 07:04 PM |
| 12 | What's the best gift you received by a HVM?Flowers, gorgeous flowers delivered twice a week at work. Hundreds of roses, orchids, lilies. Some of the happiest moments of my life | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 09:42 PM |
| 2 | I was a pickme for 11 years - I changed because of this sub.I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. You deserve so much better. You have a good soul and that is more than enough. Put your feet up, take a much-needed break and think about what you want to accomplish in life (independent of men). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/21 11:19 PM |
| 56 | Is this Instagram activity acceptable in a relationship?I agree with you both: it’s a dealbreaker. Break up with your boyfriends and DON’T tell them why. Just pretend you’re busy until they get the hint, or say you just don’t feel the spark anymore if they ask what’s going on. There’s no need to indulge in drama. He’ll understand that he did you wrong without you telling him outright (because he did and these rats know what they’re doing). There are some sensible men out there, don’t worry | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/21 09:13 PM |
| 4 | My NVM STBX’s response to me enforcing my boundaries with him. We’d separated; he called wanting to reconcile. His condition: I stop drinking. My condition: he stops watching porn. He broke his word and so I started a respectful conversation trying to clarify boundaries. This is how he reacted.How dare he!!! I’m so sorry, sweetheart. There’s just something fundamentally wrong with these people, sexually and morally. To be that cruel to someone is just not right. Don’t believe what abusers and dysfunctional people tell you about you (I’m pretty sure he’s not god’s gift to women himself, though that’s neither here nor there, because of his inner ugliness). Go on and float away gracefully like the swan that you are 🦢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 09:41 AM |
| 43 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 31 - Female Political Strategy: We're Coming For You (feat. Elle)A pro-redpill person was just featured on an FDS podcast — I’m aghast | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 12:58 AM |
| 4 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 30 - Gabby Petito: What Women Can Learn From the Police FootageI’m a patron and an avid subscriber — always happy to see a new episode uploaded! But I noticed that in this particular episode, one person kept on interrupting and talking over the others, and was rather dismissive. Hope you can all keep a balanced speaking time. Other than that, keep it up 👍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 09:36 AM |
| 13 | This is how you should treat a guy who cancels just two hours before and treats you as a second option for a first date 👋🏼😊Or, just don’t reply & block | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 12:59 AM |
| 12 | Why do people think that FDS means that we hate men?I can’t speak for all, but I adore men — not all, but those who have proven themselves worthy. I also have brothers who are extremely spoiled by the women in their lives, I am hoping that one day they will have their asses kicked by a woman who knows better. They need some spice and motivation in their lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/08/20 02:26 AM |
| 5 | Geez this guy wants me to pay for the first date. Is this common in NA?Forget NA. All of my Asian (Chinese) intl student friends went back to China after uni. Are you planning on doing that? Don’t date below your financial level, if only because of those tiring comments from jealous, insecure men. P.s. I’m into hot Chinese international students wearing those stylish street wear 🥰 but they seem to only hang around the same circles. Any dating tips appreciated! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/08/20 11:15 AM |
| 1 | Heartbroken because boyfriend isn't ready to propose after 7 years (25F) (25M). How long should I wait?Before you do anything drastic, read this book: The Reverse Ultimatum by Mimi Tanner. It’s for dealing with issues like yours | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 10:38 AM |
| 2 | I know I'm being extremely positive... But I hope someday we all find that person, and we'll think "wow that was worth the wait"Yes 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 10:36 AM |
| 6 | first date with this guy and I want to apply our community strategy rightYou think ‘boring’, he thinks ‘mysterious’ and ‘humble’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 10:29 AM |
| 24 | What common bio phrase you’re tired of seeing on OLD?No bio. He’s too cool. Only university is shown: Harvard And company: Goldman Sachs The greatest tragedy is I swipe right anyway | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/20 10:21 AM |
| 2 | On keeping your options open. How have you worked this out in real life.The assumption is that he will propose early, because by applying FDS principles he will want you and admire you so much that he is driven to lock you down to completely get rid of competition (of course this is more applicable to people who are in that stage of life where they’re ready for marriage). He’ll be so in love with you that he can’t even think of dating other women and will promise, by himself, that he won’t — that’s not an object of worry for you. Yes this latter point is possible, I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 02:57 AM |
| 4 | HVM Behavior ?Get used to it, FDS brings out the best behaviour in men! 😊And once you’ve tried it, you can’t go back. Of course you need to vet, but you’re also welcome to enjoy yourself in the dating process. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, not drinking and all, and I’m sure you’ll do great out there indeed. However I can’t say I’m a fan of going to boys’ houses if not in a relationship, and vice versa, it’s not proper and opens up sexual opportunity. Btw, don’t drink if you don’t want … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/20 02:33 AM |
| 12 | I like simpler things, how do I know if I've crossed the line into being a pickmeisha?I find that the guys who are very interested or looking for something serious will offer meal dates, or a creative date based on something they know you like to do (if you mention you like ice fishing, they’ll plan something along the lines of). A guy who’s interested will take note of your likes and hobbies; he may not be the richest man in the world but he’ll give his best to make sure you’re comfortable and have a nice time. Have the generic coffee and walk dates been effective for you? You m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 07:26 PM |
| 24 | "Men age like fine wine" Sean Penn, 59, and Leila George, 28 just got married. There are no words.Antonio Banderas too 🙅♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 06:25 PM |
| 15 | Let’s discuss the difference between a slow moving relationship and one where he’s just not that into you ?Slow moving relationship — he’s carrying the relationship all by himself, asks you out consistently on special nights (Friday night and Saturday night), makes sure you’re always in touch and that you know he’s interested. He should ask you to be his girlfriend within 2 months. Most importantly! He has that look in his eyes — the way a man looks at you when he’s in love with you— and seems nervous around you. Not into you — he can stand not seeing you for more than a week, drops off communication… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/20 10:27 AM |
| 2 | What a short woman wants...do not matterLook, you are entitled to your preferences regardless if you’re short or not, but if you’re in a /short sub isn’t it a tad insensitive to be posting that (whether or not you’re a woman)? Just because one man did or said something doesn’t mean you should. I understand freeze peach and all, but society today really has to evaluate what kind of values it is promoting — I value kindness most of all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 05:04 AM |
| 9 | What should we tell dates/potential SO’s about why our last relationship didn’t work out?I don’t feel the need to ever tell, even when in a serious relationship. What could possibly be the worth of telling your man that your ex abused you or cheated on you? How would that improve your present relationship? Leave the victimhood narrative behind you. If you want sympathy, go to your friends and family. You’re only ruining mystery and tarnishing your new relationship. If my man came to me complaining about how his ex treated him, I would be so turned off. P.s. a better approach might b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/08/20 04:14 AM |
| 5 | I have a dateTalk way less than him and listen to what he brags to you about... hopefully it’s something good like working hard for a promotion, and not playing video games all day etc. Don’t keep the convo going, let him work on that. Leave the date within 2 hours. Let him initiate contact after the date. Meet at an area that’s convenient to you, no meeting halfway (“I prefer _________ or nearby” “I’d be more comfortable meeting in _____”). Have fun! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 06:37 PM |
| 22 | I left because he never took pictures of usI’m so sorry. You and your beatiful children deserve so much better. Proud of you leaving and hope you’re in a better place now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 05:49 PM |
| 15 | My co-worker asked me out?Too risky. Protect your career and reputation at all costs—plus, you don’t seem that interested in this guy. It’s just not worth it to risk drama, office gossip and the likes. But you may need to stay on this guy’s good side because he works with you. Don’t mention him or his invitation to any other co-worker. You can reject him gently by feigning ignorance of his interest, and say you’ll take another co-worker with you to pizza or something like that and you can have a fun work get-together. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/07/20 05:43 PM |
| 1 | He was 30 minutes late to a screening phone call. Tell me I'm not crazy?What no, I’m not coming at anybody. I’m probably wrong, too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 10:08 AM |
| 0 | He was 30 minutes late to a screening phone call. Tell me I'm not crazy?Then must have edited this post. It very clearly showed that you called earlier and that he didn’t pick up. Not that it matters to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 09:21 AM |
| -2 | He was 30 minutes late to a screening phone call. Tell me I'm not crazy?Yes of course. You screen when they’re interested. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 09:12 AM |
| 6 | He was 30 minutes late to a screening phone call. Tell me I'm not crazy?Don't call guys. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:39 AM |
| 6 | HVM or LVM? Having a hard time telling with this oneHe's gone. You're the one chasing here. Have you actually established exclusivity/being a couple? Then the Tinder thing is a no-no. If he lowered his investment after you had sex, then he's a moral reject. (And *he can't stay hard* goodness, this early on? 🤢) So sorry--it's really such a bummer when men don't live up to our fantasies. At least you got some practice dating a successful man. Once you do, it's hard to go back to dating homeless bums! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/20 12:37 AM |
| 25 | Is it a PA giving him ED or something worse?This is going to be a painful and self-esteem-destroying experience for you. Please move on. You absolutely don't have to be worrying about someone else's intimacy issues and addictions. Free your mind--better worry about things you can control like having a better relationship with someone else, your career/studies, hobbies etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 11:48 PM |
| 17 | The hell with this idea that I need to freeze my eggs-there’s always adoption!I’m not ready to have kids yet, but will have my eggs frozen a couple of times this year because I want to have that option in case I change my mind. Ladies who are interested, pls consider getting this done as early as possible to get the highest chances of pregnancy in the future. Also, there are cheaper freezing packages, and even free ones (egg-sharing), for younger people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 06:19 AM |
| 34 | Got ghosted...You had an “amazing” time & it probably showed. He got all the validation he needed, and moved on. To keep a man interested, be “meh” and leave the date early. Appear nice but unimpressed. You barely know this man. Dating goes both ways—you can change your mind, so can he. You haven’t had sex I don’t find any reason to assign him any responsibility. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/07/20 06:08 AM |
| 3 | Don’t settle, you’re doing just fine.I can’t believe I’ll marry better than Nicki Minaj, but there you are 🤷♀️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 05:13 AM |
| 7 | Where do you meet hvm in new york?Your best bet would’ve been to meet someone while studying at ivy. Next bet is at work, although not recommended. I tend to hang out and live in areas where my type of guys are found. I like bankers, so I hang around the financial district for food and drinks, and live on the upper east side. The best thing to do is to get out of the house and be seen, that already increases your chances. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 04:50 AM |
| 2 | Hey queens. Make some suggestions for me to be more productive in a fun way on my down time. Keep me busy.For the more culturally minded, there are free online and Youtube streamings of ballet, theatre, music shows from the likes of ROH, the Met, Opera nationale de Paris, Bolshoi Theatre etc. Also delve more into art with virtual museum tours and the Google Arts & Culture app. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/07/20 04:33 AM |
| 11 | Never underestimate the lies men will tell just to get sex. I hope this poor woman leaves.My heart breaks for the poor girl 😢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/20 01:27 PM |
| 1 | What's your best HVM story?My 2 favourite exes, both HVMs (on paper 😀 ) Sent flowers to my workplace weekly—each week a different kind. My favourite was a bouquet of 3 dozen gorgeous, yellow Ecuadorian roses. No man has ever been good enough since! More importantly, he appreciated my sense of humour and intelligence, and helped improve my then-terrible self-esteem. Recent ex, whilst I was going through money problems years ago, he voluntarily paid for my student loans, put me up in an apartment and gave me money. When we … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 05:19 AM |
| 21 | The Best Revenge Isn't Revenge: It's SILENCE.Be like a swan, gracefully and quietly swimming away 🦢 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:55 AM |
| 6 | Looking for support during disappointmentI’m sorry, girl. These disappointments can really get to you. Hope your luck improves soon 🤗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:50 AM |
| 16 | NICKI MINAJ IS A PICKME?!!!!Ewww and this loser already has 5 kids! She could do so much better. Nicki nooooo! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:46 AM |
| 6 | Friend’s not necessarily a pick-me but not sure what to make of her toxic character traits eitherIf you dislike her this much, why are you friends with her? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/07/20 04:40 AM |
| 6 | Man with girlfriend flirted with me in front of her. How to overcome my disgust and outrage?You should be offended that he hit on you & think you’ll be fine with this arrangement | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/20 10:03 AM |
| 8 | Recovering Pickmeisha in need of advice. How do I react when the bill arrives at the end of a date?Wait for him to signal the server for the bill. Then thank him for a delicious dinner and for a lovely time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/20 07:10 AM |
| 1 | Jumping too fast and too passionately into intelligent conversations?It’s certainly an indicator. Sorry I couldn’t help. We all have varying definitions of intelligence, and I’m glad you have yours figured out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 02:29 PM |
| 2 | American Culture - Does it teach men to do the chasing? Or does it teach women to do the chasing?When people mention historicised culture, I always think of this quote: “Looking at the past must only be a means of understanding more clearly what and who they are so that they can more wisely build the future.” Paulo Freire, speaking of the oppressed | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 04:43 AM |
| 12 | Advice on long distance OLDYes, don’t offer to host him or show him around. It should be a getting-to-know-you date, not a tour. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 04:18 AM |
| 9 | Advice on long distance OLDDefinitely do not fly to him unless he’s flown to visit you at least 3 times. No 50/50 effort. And when he visits, no staying over in a hotel and the likes. Visits are still dates. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 03:52 AM |
| 1 | Oh Lort 🤭🧐 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 03:46 AM |
| 4 | Omfg this bullcrapGod, this is why I only date men who are richer than me. Also, if he picked the place, why would he expect her to pay half? Basic courtesy please. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/07/20 01:04 AM |
| 16 | Left my boyfriend of almost 4 years.Just unbelievable amount of bullshit we’re expected to deal with as women. I’m so happy for you and hope for better things ahead 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 09:42 PM |
| 7 | Did I overreact?Fair point. However, this approach has worked well for me, as someone who used to shoot from the hip and regret it later on in dating. Act > regret > get in touch again > get hurt > repeat. Questioning oneself isn’t healthy when it leads you to trouble. Also that comment is strangely gatekeeping. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 08:59 AM |
| 3 | I wonder if my(23f) bf(21m) is lying?Boy byeeee 👋 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 03:04 AM |
| 6 | How do you get over past relationship hurt and stay hopeful?You can’t change the past, you can’t control people. The only thing you can do is to get better at filtering out harmful people—and FDS rules can help you with that. I struggle with this myself. I used to be such an unconditionally giving and kind person, but I’ve seen the evil in people and there’s no turning back. At the end of the day, we have to decide what kind of person we want to be in this imperfect world—for me, that’s someone who lives ethically, chases after her goals, true to herself… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 02:58 AM |
| 19 | Did I overreact?You may need to manage your emotions better. Deciding to suddenly cut him off and delete the message, then questioning yourself later on does not bode well for you. Wait for a couple of hours or the next day, when you are calm, then do it (cutting off etc). That way, you’ll feel more comfortable and confident with your decision. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/20 02:27 AM |
| 7 | So, being busty and online dating.I think you’re on the right path (grab any advantage you can!), but you do need to ‘humanise’ yourself. Consider having only one photo showing off your figure—the rest should be you doing an activity you like, travel pictures etc. If you went to a good uni, proud of your job, include it (one of these is enough... too much might come off as bragging). Add your interests and passions, too: “I enjoy the outdoors, singing etc” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 04:07 AM |
| 2 | Trying to level up my appearanceHave a look at Lisa Vanderpump for inspiration—she has great style. Classy, sexy, and feminine at the same time. She shows off her body in an elegeant way. I’d encourage you to wear clothes in plain colours, and to stay away from prints. Make bold earring choices—hoops or chandeliers. Wedge shoes are great for cute but comfortable wear. Manicure is a must, imho, a simple french manicure would suffice. Well done for all your self-improvement work! 💜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/07/20 03:27 AM |
| 13 | LVM and sex early on“Venmo me” 😂 /s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 06:09 AM |
| 8 | Would it be okay to take him back in this specific scenario?He’s not afraid to lose you, otherwise he would have explained it to you the first time he cancelled. Because you followed up, he also learned that you’ll still be interested even if he disappears on you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/07/20 06:03 AM |
| 11 | Do guys who say they aren’t looking for anything serious ever change their minds?You rode in a stranger’s car and went to his place for a first date 😱 you could’ve been murdered. Please don’t do this, girls | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 06:34 PM |
| 5 | I smell a separation.I agree | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 12:17 AM |
| -1 | I smell a separation.Gosh wow, this man stuck by you through the years. I hope this man finds a high-value woman who matches him in morals. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/07/20 12:16 AM |
| 0 | Do you think me making the first move on a guy was okay in this case?When you rationalise your bad behaviour with racist beliefs | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/20 01:00 AM |
| 18 | Realizing just how wrong things were & dealing with angerThis form of abuse is so insidious. I can relate to hearing excuses that claim a lack of bad intent or maliciousness, as if that excuses the multitude of hurtful things I've been put through. "I'm sorry but you know I didn't have bad intentions, right? You know I'm a good person, right? It's just the way that I am." End of discussion. But hurt happens again and again. It is maddening. I understand your anger, and hope for your quick recovery x | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/20 12:42 AM |
| 3 | How to be a HVW?Happy for you. Even if you’re not that HV yet, it’s possible to give the impression that you are. First, try to keep as quiet as possible during the date—he asked you out, that means he’s already interested. There’s no need to work so hard to entertain him. No personal talk about exes and being hurt in the past! If asked about why you broke up, just say that it didn’t work out and it’s for the best. Be pleasant but slightly aloof. Leave after 2 hours, best to leave him wanting for more. HVMs are… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 02:46 PM |
| 42 | "... go for a walk..."Eew. The cheapest date there is. This guy doesn’t want to spend money to take you out on a proper date. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/07/20 12:46 AM |
| 4 | I would love some advice on quarantine breakup etiquette with a man you don't live with and have been socially distancing from.Given the length of time, I'd recommend a call, but it may be easier for you and him to send a text like "Hi ___, I enjoyed getting to know you these past four months. But after much consideration, I've realised that I just don't feel a spark. I wish it was the other way, but wish you the best regardless. Feel free to call if have any questions, I'd be more than happy to discuss this." I blame everything on spark, spark, spark! It's just something that's hard to refute or explain. If he calls, t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 03:56 AM |
| 6 | Anyone else been polishing their looks lately?Yes! I find that men who have their shit together are well-groomed, and are looking for the same thing in their partners. I love the Honest Beauty and Charlotte Tilbury youtube channels for make-up tips. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 12:23 AM |
| 5 | God forbidWhatever happened to common decency | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 12:09 AM |
| 11 | Ladies, please destroy me with your wordsSome great advice already in this thread. Just here to give you a hug 🤗 It’s really sad when things don’t turn out the way we hoped. You’ll get over him in due time, and I applaud your self control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/07/20 12:00 AM |
| 9 | Legit, first conversation and already talking about “cuddling”. This can’t be real life!You liked a guy’s photo & when he didn’t react, you messaged first? And what’s with this comment about being lucky to be able to sleep? This is a trainwreck | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 11:09 PM |
| 17 | FDS has helped me level up so much! Thanks ladies 😘Yesss! So proud of you 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 03:13 AM |
| 3 | I feel hopeless.It’s normallllll. You don’t come across as pathetic at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 02:55 AM |
| 3 | I feel hopeless.Sure, darling. Although I must warn you I’m terrible at staying in touch. How often were you messaging with this guy? Just leave it for now. If he’s interested, he’ll get in touch again. In the meantime, keep yourself busy, have fun, focus on school/work (more important!!). If he gets in touch, be harder to reach, slower to text back. But be friendly and definitely no asking about why he didn’t reply to you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/20 01:37 AM |
| 9 | Okay... I’ll stay singleOh but don’t you think about cheating on him!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 07:23 AM |
| 17 | I feel hopeless.Hey sis, it’s normal to be bummed out if a guy you like doesn’t message you back. But you’ll find that as you apply FDS principles more and more, you’ll be able to bounce back quicker, and not go through this depressive state in the future. Based on what you said, I assume you must have been messaging a lot? This isn’t recommended for building attraction and also for preventing you from getting too attached. I’m happy to help further if I know more details on how you’ve been in contact. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 07:17 AM |
| 2 | Third date adviceFantastic, glad it helped | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/20 06:39 AM |
| 19 | Advice needed. We've been dating for 6 months and he hasn't told his parents about me. How to proceed?"To be fair, he's never officially introduced any girl to his parents, so maybe he wants to make sure I am the right one." And you're fine with this? That he needs more convincing that you're the right one? That's incredibly offensive, don't sell yourself so short. Please do not introduce him to your family and your friends; match his investment or make it lower. By still staying with him even after knowing that he visited his parents without you, you've implied that you're fine with this arrang… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 03:19 AM |
| 8 | Thought you sisters would appreciate thisThe most wondrous person, a treasure to be cherished ❤️❤️ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 01:48 AM |
| 7 | my(23f) boyfriend(21m) use f words when we argue, but he doesn't curse at me...One thing that stood out to me is that he’s making an Unsolicited Promise to you. You’re upset about his cursing, but he’s promising not to hurt you. That’s quite a jump, very worrying | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 01:41 AM |
| 20 | To all of us who read "Why Does He Do That?"Amazing 😍 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 01:01 AM |
| 19 | Third date advice“I’m happy with whatever you choose” If he insists, don’t respond. He’ll get it and will likely follow up with some options. Or, just state your preference, something generic and unromantic that you really want to do (e.g. “Happy to try French cuisine, never had it” / “an art exhibit would be great”—hopefully he’d also take you out for food later). He should be trying to impress you at this point. A message like this is usually not a good sign. He could try for 50/50. Or perhaps he’s just being … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/07/20 12:00 AM |
| 7 | Thoughts needed for a young single woman. [21F]Give yourself a break. It’s okay to be happy even if you think you’re not perfect or your love life is not where you want it to be. Inexperience is not something to be ashamed of—think of it as an opportunity to build positive dating and sexual experiences. Read the FDS Book and take it to heart. However, inexperience does make you more susceptible to fantasy and exploitation. Only date men your own age, and proceed with caution. You have the advantage of being smart and driven. You will likely … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/20 03:26 AM |
| 11 | Handling rejection like a HVM. (explanation in comments)I’m so sorry, that’s awful. Hopefully context matters. - this is for the early stages of dating, up to 4 dates otherwise I call (may I call please?) - consistent good behaviour on the guy’s part. Otherwise, I block - I don’t use Bumble because it requires you to make the 1st move - many guys I date are very successful, they usually want to protect their reputation (so do I) - no sex | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 11:45 PM |
| 2 | At what point do you stop a conversation (or, when does it become clear they aren’t interested)?Yes! You know what’s best for you. And you are doing so well with your 8pm cutoff 💕 Good boundaries prevent a lot of inappropriate exchanges. I always recommend a low investment (high return!) approach to dating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 03:44 PM |
| 88 | There are few things less attractive on a dating profile than a man whose "About Me" is just a list of demands and feature requests....and she must also have extremely low standards 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:46 PM |
| 95 | Handling rejection like a HVM. (explanation in comments)Lovely note and a positive dating experience for both sides! I do this too, but only after the guy asks me out again. I send something like: “Hi there, I had a lovely time and you seem like a great guy. Unfortunately, I don’t feel a spark. Wishing you the very best and thanks again for the company!” Positive responses too, and some requests to be friends or to keep in touch (that’s just etiquette). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 02:38 PM |
| 4 | At what point do you stop a conversation (or, when does it become clear they aren’t interested)?I personally wouldn’t recommend conversations with men on OLD or over text/call, especially before meeting. Get to know a person on dates—if he’s not asking you out, he’s wasting your time. Omg and definitely no texting til late at night (by 9pm my phone is already blocked) On OLD, I reply once a day or every 2 days, often once a week. Usually men get so worried that I’ve lost interest that they ask me out quickly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/06/20 01:41 PM |
| 10 | Husband is a porn addict who ejaculates in the shower and doesn’t clean it, leaving the evidence for his pickme wife to clean. He lies and gaslights. They now have a child and he’s doing it in the child’s bathroom. He’s also not attracted to her post baby body.This is so heartbreaking | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 03:47 PM |
| 22 | How to talk to Pickme friendsUnfortunately, most people don’t have the discipline and interest to do FDS. Most just want to be in any relationship at any cost, whilst we want to be in quality relationships with quality men who love us, and that takes something else. I find that it’s best to just agree to disagree, or to keep mum. You did well here. Wouldn’t recommend going out with a guy on the same day he asks you out, nor to respond to generic OLD messages that don’t mention anything unique about your profile. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/20 09:37 AM |
| 1 | How to get his words out of my headI hope you’ll soon realise that his opinion of you doesn’t matter at all and that no one else thinks that way of you. You can’t control other people’s opinion. Good news is you can control yourself! Work out, have fun, love yourself because nobody’s perfect! Stop dwelling on the past. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 02:26 AM |
| 13 | Beware of fake HVMsUgh, my ex was a fake HVM. You would think he’s an angel because he’s socially smooth. Successful, good-looking, charitable. A virtue-signaller, he was kind to those whom he thinks are beneath him. But treated his mother like shit, treated me like shit. Base a man’s value only on how he treats you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 02:09 AM |
| 2 | And I still stayed.Well done! It only gets better from here! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 02:00 AM |
| 16 | Book recommendation: Why Does He Do That? By Lundy BancroftBtw great career choice, thanks for your good work! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 01:53 AM |
| 17 | Book recommendation: Why Does He Do That? By Lundy BancroftMy biggest takeaway from this book is that the best way to move on is to stop thinking about him and trying to make sense of his actions. It will never make sense. It’s not your fault; there’s nothing you can do. He ‘does that’ because he has an abusive mindset. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/20 01:49 AM |
| 5 | And I still stayed.I’ll include you in my prayers, sis. I hope you and your children keep safe, and that you’ll escape this abuser. You deserve better, you deserve love. There is something better out there for you and you can get out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 02:45 PM |
| 10 | Racist LVM Scrote blogs about FDS and claims that FDS Women are delusional and mostly blackHe shouldn’t worry about us. I wouldn’t date a measly, weird blogger. Ewww. The HVMs I date will make this loser cry. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/06/20 07:13 AM |
| 0 | I have a crush...This comment is neither here nor there. I didn’t mention anything work-related. She asked for advice and I gave advice on what to do regarding these long conversations, which are in my experience ineffective if you want to get asked out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 11:07 PM |
| 14 | I have a crush...Stop having these long conversations. A guy gets 10 minutes to ask you out and if he doesn’t, politely excuse yourself. In the future, still be friendly but appear busy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 03:07 AM |
| 3 | Am I overreacting? [rant]The comments about hair colour do seem too much. Regardless, it’s how you feel about it that matters! And I think you’re in the right. Also, careful about the communicating and training, they sound like rationalisations of bad behaviour which is not your responsibility to resolve | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/06/20 02:38 AM |
| 14 | Am I overreacting? [rant]I don’t like his comment. Who gives a shit about your eyebrows? What’s the need for a comment like that? It’s so rude. You’re bothered because you wouldn’t say something so petty at the worst of times. He doesn’t seem to want you to feel good about yourself nor to pursue self-improvement—is this a recurring theme? (Comments about preferences on hair colour etc. are fine for me though; it’s still up to you to decide) Is he an overly-critical person? Does he have a huge, largely undeserved ego? Yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 05:54 PM |
| 14 | Update: confronting cheating fianceDignity and integrity, love it 👏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 12:45 AM |
| 17 | Men subtly joking you do little workSome good advice here. Also wanted to add that you could try the ‘confused’ tack. Every time he, or any person for that matter, gives an inappropriate comment like that, ask them: what do you mean by that? And keep on asking for details—how many hours do I need to do to be “enough”? Why this number of hours? Who set this standard and why? Exhaust the questioning until they give up and realise how stupid they sound! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/06/20 12:40 AM |
| 7 | A thank you to all the ladies on hereI hope it all works out for you. Sending you love across the interwebs 💕 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 01:24 AM |
| 92 | A mid 30s man with no job who lives with his parents.So proud of you 👏 and that male model comment... 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/20 12:59 AM |
| 19 | He proposed!!That’s amazing!! Congratulations! Wish you much happiness and love 💗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/06/20 05:48 AM |
| 12 | And here we have a classic neg!Got milk? 🥛 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/06/20 05:43 AM |
| 2 | He's a lawyer, I didn't do this on purpose but might've condescended him lolSorry? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 12:52 PM |
| 1 | I want to be herLove her earrings. Where can I buy these thin hoops, anybody know? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 08:35 AM |
| 3 | Have any of you ever been in an argument with a man and he keeps pressing for you to over explain your side until you feel crazy?Yes, went through this with an abusive ex. It's crazy-making and still makes me anxious thinking about it today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 08:30 AM |
| 26 | He's a lawyer, I didn't do this on purpose but might've condescended him lolYou're coming off as too keen--that last message? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/20 07:49 AM |
| 18 | Guy hits me up on here and found he struggled with porn 18 days ago. I told him I wouldn’t talk to him until at least a year of being free of his addiction and get this- because “all men” do it- it’s okay 🤨Lol imagine writing this Biblical passage just to defend porn 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/06/20 05:23 AM |
| 3 | Someone please tell me to block this LV piece of trash... apologises for not making enough effort 2 weeks ago, already back to pushing me away when I'm trying to make plans"Whatever suits you"...girl why. You're chasing after this man. No. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/06/20 11:57 PM |
| 19 | You've got to be kidding me. The scrotiest of scrotes are going to teach us how to be women?Who dat gargoyle | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 02:15 AM |
| 1 | Kinda anxious about the futureFocus on yourself and be the best person / girlfriend you can be. You can’t control other people’s actions, including your boyfriend’s. But you can control setting goals and achieving them. I wish I knew this when I was your age. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/06/20 02:10 AM |
| 2 | Last night a potential partner tried to gaslight and manipulate meWhat a crybaby 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 11:46 PM |
| 1 | A message from a pickmeisha..Oh c’mon | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/06/20 11:10 AM |
| 3 | Even during a global pandemic / national uprising they want to get their rocks off ... on POSHMARK.Ladies, here we have a cutie 🙈☺️ pervert | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/06/20 12:23 AM |
| 3 | I was told to wait, but tonight I had to blow things up.You. Are. A. Badass | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/06/20 02:12 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter