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5unshine_Daydream Archive

View 12 posts and 90 comments by 5unshine_Daydream on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

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/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 12:27 AM
1

It would have cost me thousands of dollars to do this. "Lawyers LOVE this one simple trick!"
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 08:33 PM
8

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/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 11:00 AM
40

he fingered her while she jacked him off. Why in the hell would she even tell you this? Start communicating through a lawyer. Otherwise, work on letting her go. She is no longer a part of your life. Unfortunately, the thing that helped me the most was time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 10:58 AM
6

I personally think that the lesbian "discovery" is actually a way for them to avoid feeling guilt. I'd bet she is back with a man in another year or two. I have observed this several times with friends and relatives.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 10:54 AM
2

If it is an inheritance or assets you had before marriage, then it remains with the spouse that received/had it (never ever co-mingle inheritance or gifts.) If it is money earned while married it is a marital asset regardless of separate accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:29 PM
0

Beach vacation, ankle weights, and walk into the ocean. I see three options: Start/buy some sort of business that will provide income but isn't too taxing, but definitely getting out of the rat race Hope to meet a good woman who has been financially responsible and we can share some expenses, but avoid co-mingling assets for the most part. Move to a third world country that would require only a small monthly income (e.g. Panama, Costa Rica, Vietnam). Personally, I'd avoid Thailand as their visa …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:15 PM
2

You can search for free online therapy and find some options. Some are with a licensed therapist and some offer spaces for peer-to-peer coaching.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 12:54 PM
3

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/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 09:05 PM
4

Not your monkey, not your circus.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 08:10 PM
1

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/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 01:06 AM
12

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/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 01:04 AM
6

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/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 01:04 PM
2

A friend of mine suggested Please get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 12:21 PM
10

I'm sorry you have to go through all that. My first wife cheated on me. The best advice I received was to stop letting her live rent free in my head. That just highlighted to me that she probably isn't even thinking of me anymore, but also that it is me making myself miserable. The next part is how to get her out of my head. A lot of it was learning to accept my new reality, she was no longer in my life and never would be again. That was a message I had to relearn on a daily basis for a while. T…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 06:34 PM
2

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/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 06:27 PM
5

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/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:23 PM
1

My dream is my wife to take my home. Lol. "Wait, you mean you have to do things just to maintain it?"
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 12:52 PM
1

The only thing good she says is maybe one day we get back together. She needs to find herself? This is both to help her not have to face her own shitty behavior and it is a sign of disrespect as she feels she needs to soften the blow so you can handle it. My advice is to give it time. It is tough and it hurts, but her actions don't mean you are broken or flawed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:58 PM
15

I was early 30s for my first divorce. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. It is a great time to be single because you're young but established (somewhat), open to adventure, and you have a much better idea of who you actually are. I ended up whittling down all my belongings and moving to Southeast Asia for a couple decades. I would personally stay single for a while and find out what the world has to offer you. But beware, time goes fast, and you can quickly go from being the young, …
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:18 PM
3

For nearly 20 years, my wife failed to get an education or develop a real career. I offered and encouraged her to do so, and was perfectly willing to support her in those pursuits. She farted around in fast food kitchens. Finally, she took out a loan, got a certification, and a real job and then asked for a divorce. She asked right at the 3 year mark of my current job which is roughly 3 times what I had been making before.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 05:39 PM
5

I look forward to the answers to this. I think I will either head to Panama or Costa Rica to live out my life with a bunch of drunken expats, and then head to Vermont or Oregon for assisted death when things get far gone.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:01 PM
4

I gave up. I have paid for her health and car insurance for a year and a half. On the day the divorce is finalized, I will, without shame, be masturbating when I call and cancel both. She fucking abandoned everything and thought she was immediately doing so much better. Yeah, if I stopped contributing to all the bills and expenses, I'd be doing a lot better too.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 08:57 PM
3

Why do you love her if she makes you feel like shit and you can't make her happy? Instead of letting things go, model to your kids what having and standing up for your boundaries look like. Sorry if it sounds a little harsh, but kids pick up on their parents' behavior and learn from it. Best of luck...oh, and do file for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 07:58 PM
20

I want a baby (and loads of child support).
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 06:18 PM
4

If you can show the money was non-marital funds then you'd be able to keep that and get half the marital equity in the house. She would have to buy you out for both amounts and get a loan herself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 02:09 PM
4

LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:16 PM
1

I feel kind of lucky because we have mold damage in our house. I had the dry wall removed and the foundation repaired. Now if they don't agree to the buy out, I will offer to sell it and see what the market will bear with unrepaired mold damage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:22 PM
1

We actually have joint custody but let our daughter decide where she stays. In effect, I have 100% custody as my daughter never elects to stay with her mom and her mom never really makes time for her to stay with her as she is always working.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 04:19 PM
3

It's a balancing act, isn't it. Connection is such an important part of a happy, satisfying life. Yet, so much self-improvement advice is about doing shit alone: workout alone, lose weight alone, do hobbies alone, eat healthy alone, etc. The big problem is it creates that most troublesome mental model that some vague condition in life must be reached first, and then you can begin living. Unfortunately, the only thing that mindset accomplishes is continued sales of self-help books.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:55 PM
1

Then you probably need more time for things to resolve. If it has been seven months, then I would imagine it should start lessening soon. If not, you might want to seek out a therapist to work specifically on this issue.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:48 PM
1

But right answer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:20 PM
10

My first child left for college, which made me realize that my future was going to lack good communication if nothing changed. I talked with my wife about wanting to communicate more and be closer, but she took it as a personal insult and refused to address it or change. The kids also brought this up with her as she had become increasingly silent and withdrawn. If she was unwilling to admit the problem or take action to address it, then there was no point staying together.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:17 PM
2

Mostly just time working its magic. Eventually, there is a feeling of needing to move on. The next step is getting laid, but only when you are past the serious guilt phase and clearly in the awkward phase. There may still be some lingering guilt but working through it will allow for a clear transition. This may also just involve dating if that suits your morals/personality better.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 02:13 PM
4

Lol. I want that kid as my lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 05:29 PM
7

Two big red flags for me: 1) blanket statement across men-women relationships and 2) he's a fitness instructor. There is an academic field that specifically studies human behavior and societies that is filled with highly educated people. Yet these books filled with inaccurate information that seeks to exploit vulnerable people continue to be a hit. I hope the book was insightful and helpful for you, but I've personally found they do more harm than good.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 01:34 PM
2

"Oh, I'll follow up with her."
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 11:49 PM
1

You can try a mediator to go through the process of splitting the home equity and marital debt. At worst, you'd own her alimony for 2 years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 05:54 PM
10

I made a hard and fast rule - "5 years knowing you before discussion of marriage is even on the table" Same for me, but I set it to 50 years.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 05:30 PM
2

Ha ha, thanks for this. My biggest gym lesson of the last few years is that I am no longer 18 so don't lift like it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:09 PM
1

I'm definitely lucky to keep those things. My rage is why she gets spousal support and gets to abandon all those things. Kids, pets, a home all take money to maintain, but now I am fucked. I went from being able to support my oldest daughter's monthly food budget (she's in college) to only being able to provide $75 month. I can afford to take my younger daughter out to eat maybe twice a month, whereas my ex can use the spousal support to take her out multiple times per month, while providing zer…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:07 PM
3

I've spent a lot of time in the east and it is different, but the same there. I've seen women tearfully bid their boyfriends goodbye, pretend to leave, and then greet the next one a half hour later. In a hotel business lounge, one woman forgot to log out of her gmail account. She had written about 20 boyfriends the same shit about missing them and needing money. The big question is why are eastern women so much better organized about it and so much more talented about keeping an illusion alive?
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 02:24 PM
1

The only representing they should be doing is to inform both of you of what the law allows. I would be skeptical about the month wait though. That leaves plenty of time for shenanigans of moving money around, strategizing, building a case, and making the first moves. As a reference point, I called six lawyers and most of them had a free initial consultation within 48 hours. The others could meet quickly, but wanted to be paid for the initial consultation.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 05:32 PM
2

If you are doing this together, then you will work through a mediator that you contact together. The lawyer will expressly stated how they are representing you - just one of you, or both equally. If she contact them alone, then they are representing her. She is likely entitled to 50% of the home's equity acquired during the course of the marriage, but none before the marriage and none after the separation date. You can see what a mediator recommends and what she is willing to accept before launc…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 04:29 PM
3

Bring a witness so she doesn't try to fake any violent confrontation.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 12:45 AM
–

I am keeping the house so I don't have to move my daughter again with only one year to go in HS.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 12:10 PM
5

On a separate note and I do see you've cut alcohol out completely, 5-6 beers at night is a lot and can cause anhedonia (feeling bored with everything). When you're younger, it can seem like there are no impacts and you are highly functional, but it slowly starts to creep up in its impact eventually causing significant cognitive decline. I am dealing with this now and alcohol has a horrible way of digging its claws into people.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 02:29 PM
1

Make it by hair follicle specimen. Keep in mind alcohol can be identified in hair for up to 90 days.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 02:26 PM
2

My understanding is that the marital accounts are "frozen" in that what is there is there, so you can't empty them out, but you can continue to contribute to them. However, the value continue to fluctuate as well. I certainly can't buy her out for 50% of the value of the equity in our martial residence at the time of separation. The house estimate has declined about 80K in the last 14 months.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 02:15 PM
1

There are no blanket statements for this sort of thing. However, it is good to take some time to process and reset yourself post divorce. Every relationship involves some compromise - some healthy some not healthy, and it can takes some time to reorient yourself to you true north. I plan on dating a little bit just to put some closure on the marriage, but nothing more than just going out with a female. In the above story, the problem isn't dating but both being pressure from the guy and he not h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 02:50 AM
2

I remember getting the advice: Before you go off and marry one, ask yourself if you think they will ever say, "hey, let's grab some beer and watch the football game." It really helps keep perspective on how little in common they are.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 08:48 PM
3

First thing is get legal representation, either a mediator or individual lawyers. They can explain the process and what will be involved. You don't want to be surprised by any of this. If you think it will be amicable, then you can hire a mediator. This would be an attorney that leads you through the process and advises you both of your rights. You would approach and hire this person together. You can always hire individual attorneys if negotiations break down. Stop the intimacy so as not to del…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:29 PM
12

Lol! I got burned in marriage by someone who only wanted my money and lied about seeing other people, so instead I'll now go to where people only want my money and lie about seeing other people. BKK can be a fun place, but it can also get really tiring always being on guard because so many see you as a stupid farang who can be ripped off.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 02:13 PM
3

I was lucky as my daughter and her mom had a horrible relationship. I just told her straightforward. I get 100% custody so no issues there. I let her know that she is loved and I am available to talk anytime. I also found a good counselor for her to have someone else to talk with besides me. I think the hardest part for her has been dealing with a mom who completely disengaged on parenting or any kind of relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 08:32 PM
3

It's strange that psychologists talk about the importance of children differentiating from the parents, but rarely is it mentioned about the importance of not becoming overly dependent upon your spouse/SO. I was talking with a female friend of mine about divorce and love, and she said something that really struck me. She said, "at some point in your life, companionship becomes more important than love."
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 06:12 PM
1

Get a lawyer and draft an MSA for her to sign. Initially, my wife didn't care about getting a lawyer or filing. She sure changed her opinion after she saw the draft MSA.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:34 PM
2

One thing I have learned is that I don't "find" meaning, I create/decide it. When I stopped being have a couple, it just didn't feel the same. Some of it no longer applied, some was altered and some...well. The most important thing you can do is feel it - the grieving, the boredom, the confusion - and then let it propel you toward action. Spend some time by yourself resetting to who you want to be and who you are. I personally would no go down the self-help rabbit hole.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 09:31 PM
5

violation of the 13 Amendment? I've wondered a similar thing. Why does she get to abandon her kids, the pets, me and go live her dream life, while I am obligated to spend another decade in a job I fucking hate. Fuck this system.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 01:11 AM
8

I feel this. I am so burned out on my job and was looking to start winding down. My wife apparently waiting until I was at my highest income point to want a divorce. As in, I am earning over 3 times my last job of only a few years ago. Everything I worked for is slashed in half. Fuck I hate this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 01:09 AM
13

He should be getting lifetime spousal support as well as half the marital assets regardless of who funded them. I believe it is also illegal for her to simply stop paying his health insurance. But the best advice is get a lawyer ASAP and document all these arrangements she's demanding.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 11:48 AM
3

Trust is something that is earned, little by little, and demonstrated mutually. The world is a big place and there are lots of good women in it. For me, it is about taking enough time to reset and find myself again. Once I am comfortable on my own, then I can be open to a relationship again.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 02:00 AM
1

My wife is from overseas. Unless she learns to speak very good English and either her Degree is from Europe or she earns a new one, then don't expect her to ever earn much. Degrees from developing countries are worthless here. My STBXW has been here for 16 years and never dropped her heavy accent and seems to not understand things well.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 04:26 PM
5

Actually, it would probably be great if her mom represented her and he got an actual attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 07:08 PM
3

I think part of it is facing the loss of what could have been shared memories for the rest of your life. Whoever I end up with, if anyone, will not be able to share the joy of the old memories which someone lessens my life. There were a lot of good times, fun times, raising two kids, etc. Even if I share the photos and video, the new person will never know the feelings we had when those things happen. So I think about her and wonder about what could have been. BUT, I always come back to realizin…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 11:10 AM
11

Sounds like my wife. So many moments ruined because of her unpredictable and unreasonably mood swings and outburst. Unfortunately, I think my STBXW's was/is being driven by mental illness.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 10:54 AM
3

I sympathize with you. The loneliness and lack of intimacy can feel overwhelming at times. I've thought about dating, but my luck has almost exclusively come through things I am doing rather than look for someone to date. This is my second divorce so I somewhat remember the process and a lot of it is simply passage of time and building a new normal. There is no precise magical amount of time for the healing to take place, but it should be long enough to make sure any changes have taken hold and …
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 05:51 PM
4

Focusing on the author's credentials as part of judging the content.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 02:47 PM
5

by Rollo Tomassi. Real name is George Miller, a graphic designer.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 02:19 PM
6

Hey! No kink shaming.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 05:04 PM
1

I wonder if she is going through menopause. I've had a few friends this has happened to and it put a real strain on the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 05:03 PM
6

It's a classic detachment response. It basically says, "Think what ever you want. I no longer care." It isn't agreeing or disagreeing, just straightforward non engagement.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:43 PM
5

“I have nothing to apologize for. You ruined my life, my job, and any chance of ever being my friend again.” "You may be right." End of discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 05:43 PM
19

Not me. I've seen good relationships thrive and would love to be in one. That said, I first need to do some work on myself so I am in a position to identify, secure, and maintain such a relationship. My wife was never the right person for me, but I lacked a lot of tools, mindsets, and boundaries to ever call it off.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 04:39 PM
2

I'd only date a single mom if her kids were well-adjusted, had moved out, and were either in school doing well or in an established career.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 04:39 PM
1

Besides, she is so damned lazy she would never put down the TV remote and get up off the couch long enough to find her own attorney. Lol. That's what I thought too. She quickly found a good lawyer and went after all my accounts. You could also take her on "vacation" to Saudi Arabia and then not give permission for your wife to leave the country.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 02:09 PM
1

There are online calculators to develop an estimate. It is often based on the last 5 years income and for half the length of the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 03:27 PM
29

Impending mortality. As I watch my parents fade out with dementia, loved musicians die, cherished memories fade further into the years, I finally realized I had to change something. I get one chance at life and the thought of spending the rest of it with someone who had no interests, someone who could muster no more than one word responses, and someone who had no interest in trying to be closer. All that scared the fuck out of me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 05:51 PM
1

No, I will have primary, possibly sole as we were going to leave it up to the daughter where she wanted to spend her time. Yes, lawyers have been hired and I should be getting their counter offer at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 09:37 PM
3

The shittiest part for me is she gets to go "live her best life" and I become a slave to the job I never wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 06:04 PM
1

Hopefully, it hasn't been co-mingled with your other assets. If so, set up a separate account and move it there ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 06:51 PM
1

Divorce is pretty much only about money. I'd say divorce is really about the future trajectory of your life. You can go from being just about ready to retire comfortably to never being able to retire in the blink of an eye.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 05:05 PM
4

Get a separation agreement in place and divorce. If you want to live together after that you can. Or you can move on. Do not move out before a divorce though. The longer you are together, the more you will have to give her to settle. The other thing is that observing a couple that doesn't like each other will do more damage to the kids than living happily separately.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 07:56 PM
1

I think it is more like no advice. Marriage sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 05:08 PM
16

God I feel this. worried about what is going to happen Lol! It is ALL going to get worse the longer one waits. I had been waiting for my wife to get a real job so I could change careers to something I like but pays less. Instead, she gets to unilaterally abandon the marriage, parenting, the pets, and house maintenance; and finally start a nice career; and walk away with half of what I alone bore the stress and burden of accumulating. And, I will have to support her dead beat ass for at least 10 …
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:27 PM
1

Ever have a stripper tell you she really likes you because you're different? Yeah, divorce lawyers are like that and for the same reason.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 08:07 PM
2

Similar thing happened to me. I will gladly trade the tube of shaving cream I got for your cheese and salami box. It does suck though.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 07:55 PM
3

“keep only what she made” My wife said this until she actually saw what they made. She became very greedy after that.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 01:54 PM
3

Ha ha this actually gives me an idea for what to do this evening.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:20 PM
7

Legally, they are considered an adult, but they are still very much our child who we will still care for (or should). Anyone who thinks parental responsibility ends at 18 is delusional.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:17 PM
1

PMDD is another one to check out. Do the crazies hit when she is near/on her period?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 01:59 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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