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Allaboutb1 Archive

View 1 posts and 156 comments by Allaboutb1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

SEEKING ADVICEAllaboutb1/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:19 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Love it😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 08:14 AM
10

I’ve seen men that were eager to get married. Men from traditional backgrounds are often under a ton of pressure from their family to get married and produce grandchildren. These men know that once they get married, they’re taken care of for life. My friend’s husband, who is from a traditional background, pushed for marriage and then a baby. I believe this was for control. He was passive-aggressive and would go into ‘helpless’ mode, where she had to literally take care of him like a child. He di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 03:23 AM
0

Yes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:27 AM
29

So painfully accurate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:25 AM
0

She said “sex is the price of admission I have to pay to be in a relationship”...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 11:19 AM
2

Ahh good strategy. I like this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:37 AM
14

And from an evolutionary perspective, this is why women are supposed to have multiple partners, so the sperm of different men compete for access to the egg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:22 AM
8

The vagina is an acidic environment which kills sperm. It only becomes alkaline during the fertile phase of our cycle which lasts approximately seven days. During this time the cervix creates fluid which nourishes any sperm which may be present. This enables the sperm to survive for several days while awaiting the release of the egg. This fluid also creates channels for the sperm to swim in which guide the sperm toward the egg. This means that female fertility is conditional upon male fertility.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 10:20 AM
5

Yes I agree. Please stop letting him have sex with you when you don’t really want it. If that alone causes the relationship to end then that’s probably a good thing. In future I suggest you go by the rule that you must orgasm before your partner does. This will ensure you only engage in sex when you actually want it, when your partner is making an effort and when you are able to enjoy it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:50 AM
11

Yeah this happened to me with my cousin, who was my BFF. He got into a relationship with a super controlling guy who saw me as a threat and proceeded to kick me out of my cousin’s life. It ended our friendship. Then my entire family ganged up on me and told me I wasn’t allowed to “reject” the abusive boyfriend and I had to go and call my cousin and tell him I accepted the relationship. Pretty messed up. I have now distanced myself from all of them including my parents and sister. Not a one-off e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:40 AM
2

Yes!! Another one for the cross stitch!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:25 AM
3

They think our purpose is to please, which makes our own inner life or emotions irrelevant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:04 AM
1

I’ve seen advised several times to give a non-specific answer like “I’ll know it when I see it”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:59 AM
7

I get it! I read a lot of articles saying it’s feminist to ask a guy out and pay for dates/split the bill. It made me feel in control. No one ever asked me out in my life until I was 32 years old, so I was tired of waiting and figured I should take charge. Friends told me this was a good thing. I’m very relieved to have found FDS. I feel much better and more confident about dating now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:56 AM
5

I’m super jealous. I’ve been trying to find a FWB for years. He sounds great. And his that’s very interesting about his behaviour. Very interesting what you have found with the liberal/left/progressive men. Is it possible the difference between him and the others is that he’s HV and they aren’t, rather than the other more obvious differences? I keep pondering over HVM and why they are what they are when they could just be lazy and be an LVM. Also thanks to this sub I think more and more about th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 07:49 AM
5

Yes, exactly. There is a huge wealth of evidence to support this. Medical bias against women and the pitiful state of medical ignorance about the female body are a good place to start. I recommend Maya Dusenbery’s book Doing Harm. Then there are the side effects of synthetic hormonal birth control, for example that they reduce libido and shrink the clitoris and vulvar tissues, (along with a host of others) which most doctors do not inform patients of, meaning women are being deprived of informed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:37 PM
1

Yes that is perfect!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:53 PM
12

I am going to make a concerted effort to attend some sporting events/sports bars and (when possible what with covid) car/boat shows. I was thinking of teaming up with my female friend who is recently single. (I’m trying to indoctrinate her into FDS). We could go together. Would that be a good idea?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:45 PM
6

Even a brief spell of dating can help define it a lot, in my experience!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:07 PM
1

It‘s a good idea - thank you! I didn’t mean any offence with the exclusivity comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:51 PM
1

That’s a good idea! Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:48 PM
1

Yes, I am a little bit worried about my own willpower! If I like a guy and we have good chemistry, it’s pretty hard to resist. In general though, it just feels like there should be a stepping stone between the public date and being totally alone at home. Restaurants - that’s a good point, I was wondering that myself (I’m in mainland China). There must be some fancy places where there is a bit of privacy. I’m sure that if I held out and insisted on only public dates, an HVM would find a way to se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:49 PM
1

Well I’m hoping to get some specific advice on how to proceed when you can’t kiss in public or make out in a private car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:59 AM
3

It’s not illegal, this is a cultural difference in Asia. The guide has a lot of quite specific advice, for example, making out in his car when he drops you off at the end of the night, and was probably written with the unspoken understanding that public kissing is fine in the West. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for advice on alternative strategies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:48 AM
9

We don’t ask for exclusivity, remember, and in order to be in a committed relationship he has to actually, formally ask you to be his girlfriend. But realistically, am I going to accept being someone’s girlfriend without having ever kissed them or being able to see what their behaviour is like around intimacy? There is a section in the guide about slowly building up intimacy and watching out for any pornsick behaviours on his part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:46 AM
4

I’m not sure why you don’t understand ... in order to have the first kiss I would have to invite him into my house - that’s very tricky...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:39 AM
3

It says you should only go on dates in public places and not to be alone in a place where sex can happen, eg his or your apartment/home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:13 AM
3

Even if you don’t send photos of yourself, a guy could photoshop your face onto a different body or whatever, then slap your name on it for revenge. Apparently teenagers make deep fake videos on their phones now. There’s absolutely no way to prove any pictures and videos are of you, and if necessary, you should 100% maintain that any pictures or videos are fake and photoshopped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:00 AM
1

Fully agree. I’ve heard this from many women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:13 AM
10

I don’t use birth control either. Our natural estrogen and progesterone are essential for our health as women. Painful periods are a sign of underlying health problems such as inflammation and possibly more serious disease and should be treated as a symptom, not masked with synthetic hormones. Period pain can often be resolved through diet and lifestyle changes. I recommend the Fertility Friday podcast to anyone who wants to get off synthetic hormones (birth control).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:00 AM
18

Because before patriarchy, we used to live in egalitarian communities where children were raised by the group rather than an individual couple or parent. So a woman was not disadvantaged by having a child. They also practiced extended breastfeeding to space pregnancies to 4-5 years. Breastfeeding does act as a contraceptive but only when it is very frequent, much more frequent than we have time for in modern society. Edit: Also, just wanted to add - humans are actually a very horny species, like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:55 AM
11

Are you sure that was the Nordic model? I read Paid For by Rachel Moran and she said the the Nordic model (sex buying is criminalised, selling is not and women are helped to leave) is better than the model increasingly adopted in Western Europe (Germany, Belgium, Netherlands, Portugal and so on) of ‘decriminalise and regulate’, which basically turns the state into a pimp. She described how gangs immediately increase trafficking women into a country when decriminalisation happens. I have another …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:43 AM
8

The majority of women being prostituted started when they were under the age of 18 and did not have the ability to make the decision. Childhood sexual abuse is a strong risk factor for being prostituted. I could go on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:28 AM
4

Well, if it is, it’s only in response to their toxic masculinity. Shape up, men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:51 AM
3

If we’re talking about work, I personally think that’s a very different ball game from dating. I don’t think we can win at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 08:17 AM
29

I hereby swear to follow the principle of mystery from now on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:38 AM
34

Masturbation beforehand is a great idea. I don’t trim, let alone shave, my pubic hair unless I am going to be wearing a swimsuit. I certainly do not alter it for a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:28 AM
20

No more second chances!!😸😸😸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:36 AM
7

Yes. You’re right. I work with children so a lot of it gets channelled into my students.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 02:32 AM
5

Oh my gosh.... so true!!! I love this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:30 AM
1

I have trouble accepting kind and loving behaviour as well at times, because I’m not used to it. I think you should take a step back and work on your reactions. You might be reacting to something from the past rather than the present. As to whether his feelings are true, I think you should follow the FDS handbook, control your feelings and wait and see if he remains consistent and attentive and continues to put in all the effort. If he is HV, he will make the effort to convince you. There’s no r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:29 AM
23

I don’t think we can be sure this guy was an HVM in that case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 01:19 AM
3

Just wait and see I think. Don’t worry about trying to make judgments right now, either for or against. Stick to the rules, observe and things will become clear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:42 AM
68

Yes! It’s women who are meant to have a lot of partners. The cervix is a sperm-filtering device which channels the best sperm toward the egg. Also, if there’s no way to know who the father is, all the men in the community are invested in the child’s welfare. Patriarchy changed this to men seeing women and children as their property. It only matters who the father is in a patriarchal society.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:38 AM
30

Ugh... I need to tattoo this on my brain. I have such a strong desire to be affectionate and nurturing. I will be keeping that locked down from now on!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:27 AM
12

I read a ton of articles saying ghosting is immature and cowardly so I was hesitant/felt guilty about it for a long time. But I did it because I was scared of abusive reactions. I’m getting better at just doing it and not feeling guilty, even with friends and other people in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:18 AM
17

A good friend of mine had thyroid cancer last year. It’s a horrible disease. When they remove the thyroid it causes severe imbalances in the body which affect metabolism, energy, sleep, for months afterward. She’s single and has just moved to a foreign country so it was really hard for her to deal with it on her own. But now I think what she went through is vastly preferable. I’m nauseous from reading this🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 12:11 AM
2

I definitely want to make it a new hobby ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:39 PM
2

I need to stop giving second chances!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:34 PM
5

I would like some kind of gladiator😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 11:33 PM
5

I would looooove to buy her, but I live far away in Asia😢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:11 PM
10

So.. I don’t think it’s American specifically, it seems to be a unique feature of the FDS method. I don’t think you’re supposed to tell people you’re dating multiple guys since yes indeed they might be inclined to judge that! I think that’s supposed to be kept on the DL. It just occurred to me that that the best way to get multiple pursuers (which I’ve never had before) would be to just swipe right on every Male and just let them weed themselves out with FDS rules from there. I’m usually far mor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:05 PM
4

I want this framed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:48 PM
34

Yes. Exactly this. It gets easier every time. Keep practising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 09:32 AM
10

🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 06:44 AM
1

I’ve never tried the friend version of Bumble. I should give it a go because I really do need friends although I am moving soon so it seems pointless to try to make friends now. Re: women, yeah I’ve never actually dated a woman though, it just never happened, even when I tried a female dating app :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 04:28 AM
1

I guess I’m just doubting myself. Do you recommend any resources for bisexual women dating women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:29 AM
2

Yeah I wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Every time I’ve given a second chance it ended up just being a case of waiting for the next red flag to block them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:20 AM
3

With my parents it’s all about projecting an image of “the perfect happy family”. In fact, my dad is an enabler of my Narc mother and is emotionally unavailable, at least to me. He can’t make eye contact with me and speaks to me as if I am an acquaintance. I am now the scapegoat of the family while my sister, who is enmeshed with them, is the golden child and can do no wrong. My dad also has a child from a previous marriage who no one has seen or heard from for over 20 years and who we are not a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 03:01 AM
10

I didn’t start dating until I was 32, two years ago. Don’t be ashamed. Be proud of your high standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:52 AM
3

I’ve deleted mine too and set Bumble to women only (I’m bisexual). In a little while I may get new accounts just to start applying the FDS principles in earnest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:45 AM
9

I hated that show with a burning passion. I absolutely despised the casual sex element of it, and hated constantly being told it was empowering for women. This was during the “post-feminist” years of the early 2000s so I had very little exposure to feminist thinking - it was just a gut reaction. I refused to watch Sex and the City point blank. My gay cousin was and is a huge fan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:36 AM
12

Wow!!! I always hated Ross and their relationship and now I see why! I also hated the episode where Rachel dressed up as Princess Leia for him. The man will be dressing up for me thank you very much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:34 AM
4

Me too. I completely freeze up if I’m attracted to a woman and feel like I’m 13 years old!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:32 AM
1

I’ve come across articles about how gay bars and particularly lesbian bars are dying out due to the rise of OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:32 AM
2

I didn’t know there was a term for it either! I don’t know. Maybe it will happen but not out of my own choice, simply because I never find an HVM and end up falling in love with a woman. I’m definitely going to try to put more effort into dating women now. But since I was doing male dating so wrong I assume I was also doing female dating wrong (I used to be on a female dating app) and it’s daunting to think of having to learn a whole other set of rules ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 02:29 AM
14

Field report!😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:59 AM
7

Wow. That’s awful! So gross that it’s so unexpected like that. That happened to me not on a date, but at a dinner party. I was alone with the male host of the party for less than 10 minutes when he suddenly tried to kiss me. He hadn’t spoken or looked at me the entire night, so it’s not as if he had been chatting me up. It just came out of nowhere. I quickly went back to the group of people and when we left, I told my friend, who brought me to the party as her guest, what he had done. She actual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:53 AM
26

I’ve always travelled alone, and have visited over 30 countries by myself. I absolutely love it. As a solo traveller you are more likely to get upgraded on flights. I would rather be my myself in business class than in economy with someone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:42 AM
55

Pay to share a bathroom with a man????🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:39 AM
6

🤣Dying!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 01:30 AM
18

This is what I need help with as well. I don’t care about blocking the ones I don’t like. The problem is the ones I do like. I have a lot of work to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 01:00 PM
9

You’re right. I was being flippant. They don’t get it at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 11:13 AM
8

Yes. It’s truly disgusting especially in South East Asia.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 10:20 AM
10

This is why I need this community. I read so many articles for OLD advice and talked to so many friends but I never heard anything like this. As a result I was very confused at all times while trying to OLD. So glad I found this place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:45 AM
7

I understand now. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 05:14 AM
19

Oh my gosh... I know right???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:56 PM
9

Oh my god 😱🤢🤢🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:53 PM
125

I’m European but live in Asia, and the same thing applies here. The Western men are all petite and they love that here they aren’t considered short. A windbag I used to work with would give a speech about “when I moved from Canada to Taiwan I went from a 4 to a 10 overnight”. So gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:47 PM
10

Could you explain this a bit more?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:28 PM
15

Yes, we need to stand up and defend femininity, because libfems are right there tearing it down too. Also, I think we should think about how masculinity could be mocked in the same way that femininity is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:19 PM
8

Hahahah love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:16 PM
14

I have been making a big effort to do this. With the last guy I was seeing, the beginning was wonderful but as time went by I noticed a change in his behaviour and worked very hard to simply observe the pattern, understand that he was not going to go back to how he was at the start of the relationship, and dampen down my feelings. It was hard because I have very little dating experience so it’s all new to me. The abandonment is very triggering but I am aware of this and work on it as a separate …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:12 PM
3

Gross 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:57 PM
84

I feel very superior to men at all times. They’re so awkward and gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:55 PM
1

That makes sense! Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:28 PM
4

Does no sex just mean no PIV, or does it cover all sexual acts?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:22 PM
3

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:51 AM
2

I can’t believe she would put a picture of her face next to that statement. Lol sure they are fun to play with, that’s about all they’re good for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:36 AM
4

I’m bisexual. It’s a total myth that bisexual men are rare or don’t exist. There are a LOT of them, they just would rather die than admit it. I’ve always been into guy-on-guy and I write M/M romance novels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:33 AM
2

I live in China and I go to Korean-style saunas all the time. They are very popular here. It’s such a wonderful feeling to just be comfortable in my own skin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:20 AM
1

Hahaha yes thank you!!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:15 AM
1

It’s the story of our fucking lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:14 AM
1

Quality and consistency of communication are key I think. Texting is the lowest-effort form of communication, so I would tend to see the absence of texting as an absence of effort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 11:08 AM
2

Beautiful. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:57 AM
1

Oh my gosh! Me too! It’s a great sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:54 AM
1

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:52 AM
1

Yeah I came here for Hatchetface!! Was he actually trying to make fun of her?? She’s the best!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 10:43 AM
0

Could the liberal feminist mindset be more deeply entrenched in Europe hence leading to a lack of traditional courtship? The “hang out, somehow fall into a relationship and eventually move in together for an indeterminate amount of time, probably many years” approach is the default approach to ‘modern’ relationships that I have never questioned until now. I lived in the UK and Belgium for eight years during university and afterward and no one ever asked me out (this was pre-OLD). All I got was h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 09:46 AM
3

I’m sorry. It’s really hard. Sending hugs if you want them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:49 AM
11

I would never live with a straight man! I could never understand how a friend of mine had a couple of straight males as roommates over the years! But yeah this is super sketchy and sounds like a trap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:38 AM
2

Yeah I haven’t even been on very many dates in my life but it was always drinks or coffee and they were all a waste of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:23 AM
2

I think the guidebook says we should do a video call instead of the coffee date. Video call then let him put in the effort for an actual date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 08:18 AM
78

“Often incorrectly called “choking,” non-fatal manual strangulation is inherently dangerous. It can lead to death hours, days, even weeks afterward due to complications from the brain being deprived of oxygen. It also causes injuries to the throat that may not leave a mark (Snyder 2015). If you don’t know how to examine a victim’s throat, what to look for in her eyes (red spots, called “petechiae”), and the right questions to ask, it may seem no harm has come of it (Turkel 2008).” — Down Girl: t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:58 AM
9

Never a good sign when they warn they are “weird”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:14 AM
3

I also found a lot of conflicting information on this. I’m very strict about STD testing and require an STD test before doing anything more than mutual masturbation or hand relief. This is because STDs are easily transmitted during oral sex, especially to us women. The same kind of herpes that causes cold sores CAN cause genital herpes - this is a confusing subject area and a bit of a black hole if you start researching it. I would personally always have both myself and perspective partner teste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:12 AM
78

Yes!! They don’t lose control in any other settings (eg punching their boss in the face). This is in Lundy Bancroft’s book on abusive men. I’ve pretty much memorised the “early warning signs”. I tried to recommend it to my friend who was abused by her husband but I don’t think she read it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:28 AM
38

It seriously shocked me to find (on OLD) that the ugly ones were just as rude and entitled as the handsome ones! Like ... aren’t they grateful I’m even talking to them????? Nope!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:20 AM
18

Yeah I’ve entertained ugly guys on OLD just to prove to myself that I’m not shallow. Like I’ll give them a chance, and not rule them out just because of looks/height. But they’re not any nicer than the sexy ones, and even easier to leave behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:14 AM
4

All that processed junk!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 06:06 AM
3

Yes!!!!!!✊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:59 AM
10

Yeah. I’ve worked really hard at this. I’ve had to do it with friends and family members. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t grieve for those losses and miss those people. I would be a sociopath if I didn’t. But I have to just compartmentalise that while continuing to move on with my life. Those people didn’t treat me well, and I did everything I could to fix things before finally giving up. They are very unhappy people who will not fulfil their potential in life and they are angry that I am f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:57 AM
17

What the —???? That is absolutely disgusting! How would anyone think that was okay? Oh my god I am revolted!!!! Also why would there be a rule about three men needing to be present? That’s weird and creepy to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:41 AM
3

Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:28 AM
9

Ohhhh ok I missed that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 05:14 AM
2

Well, recent research has shown that trauma is not necessarily something than can be healed through talk therapy alone, and/or that many forms of talk therapy (such as CBT) don’t get to the root of the problem and may be less effective. The standout book in this area is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. I have tried to read it, but I am too sensitive to get through it. It’s meant more for mental health professionals and isn’t necessarily meant as a form of treatment, so I’m shelvi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:54 AM
2

Ew!!!! No you cannot use my body to get yourself off!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:35 AM
3

I’ve heard the anti-circumcision arguments as well. I guess what I mean is, the way he put it implied that some women have a sensitive clitoris, and some women don’t. It just seemed to imply that some women are able to experience sexual pleasure or orgasm and some aren’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:34 AM
33

I’m sorry, how is this guy HV?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:28 AM
11

This is probably the tip of the iceberg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:25 AM
1

Yes!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:23 AM
18

Problem is the risk of retaliation. He’s clearly a violent man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:21 AM
8

Thank you! As a newbie it’s confusing for my brain because I am trying to retrain it in line with the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:17 AM
5

Yes. Must keep this in mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:02 AM
37

I feel so nauseous reading this. This poor woman. It reminds me of when my friend first told me about her husband’s abuse. A couple of months later she was pregnant with their first child. She didn’t divorce him until five years later and he continues to terrorise her life. I was one of the few people she told about the abuse. I actually experienced secondhand trauma from supporting her through it all, and there were periods of time when I had to not be in contact because it was too much for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:29 PM
2

Some of these are just amazing. I hope I get something like that one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:10 PM
1

Sounds lovely. I’m bi as well :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 03:07 PM
2

OMG I’m welling up! He sounds wonderful. Congratulations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:45 PM
3

Yes!!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:40 PM
4

He doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:17 PM
2

Oh my gosh 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:16 PM
3

🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:09 PM
2

What concerns me about marriage is that my property would no longer be mine, it would also belong to someone else. Everything I have, I worked for. I have some money saved and I’m an author, meaning my books are literally my property, my IP. I would have to be pretty damn certain about the guy before risking everything. And yes, his finances would have to be comfortable to make up for my loss of earnings due to being born a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 01:49 PM
13

Yes, thank you. I really recommend Julia Serano’s book Whipping Girl where she shows how our femininity is mocked and held up as artificial in contrast to supposedly “natural” male masculinity. Our femininity is seen as harmful as compared to masculine ideals. For example, “strong is the new pretty”. Discouraging little girls from wanting to wear pretty dresses. I’m a woman and I WANT to be pretty and feminine and I should not be shamed for that. It’s part of what makes me a woman. For toxic mas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:56 PM
7

I have to say. I do think we should not let them ejaculate (regardless of birth control and condom use) inside us except under VERY specific circumstances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:37 PM
2

I was just thinking today about all the money I spent on taxis/Ubers to get home safe after going out at night (and plenty of times I didn’t feel safe at all). Whereas the guy can just take the subway because he’s not terrified of being raped at any moment. I don’t live in the US and living costs are lower here, but I often spend the summer in New York and there are a lot of events at night that I attend on my own. I probably spent $4-500 per month on Ubers. It’s my hard earned money, it’s my va…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:30 PM
1

Wish it was common among young women!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:21 PM
8

Lol no kidding!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:20 PM
10

I’m so sorry, his behaviour sounds unbelievably awful. He should be worshipping your vagina and be grateful for every minute he has the privilege of licking it! As if their junk doesn’t also have an aroma. Natural smell and taste should be arousing not off-putting, there is something wrong with this man. A word of caution about feminine care products, they can potentially interfere with our vaginal flora. It’s best to just stick to cleaning externally with plain water and maybe some mild soap. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 12:11 PM
23

Gosh. I felt like it was just me thinking this the whole time. So glad I found this place. I feel safe discussing things that normally upset me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:48 AM
2

Yes I’ve noticed that too, many years ago when I was mostly still believing the “post-feminist” BS. My sister got really mad at me for saying it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:44 AM
9

They see it as their right to inseminate (ejaculate inside) a woman because it feels good. This right must be free from consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:32 AM
9

It really is life changing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:28 AM
11

Just wanted to say I have been thinking back over my (very limited) dating experience from an FDS viewpoint and it is very, very helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 11:05 AM
3

Omg the superiority was insane! Like, no, I’m really not jealous you’re chained to that asshat for life now! Quite frankly, it destroyed our friendship. She kept doing things that were opposite to everything she said she wanted and it made no sense. I think I just reminded her of all the illogical decisions she was making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 10:53 AM
23

Ouch my cervix🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:31 PM
3

It sounds like you’re doing great. You’re so strong to get through all that gaslighting and invalidation. I know what you mean about it being hard to talk about. I’ve never done well with talk therapy. It re-traumatises me. I’ve working on other forms of therapy which are working for me. Sending a big virtual hug if you would like one :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 01:28 PM
10

What’s the point of pestering for sex when he can’t stay hard/lasts all of two minutes???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:16 PM
17

The vagina is internal. You’d need a speculum to actually get a look at one. The external female genitalia is called the vulva. Also can you imagine a man stating wisely that “each penis is different, and sensitivity varies widely?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 12:08 PM
6

I’m so sorry about what that asshole did to you. You did not deserve what he did to you. You did not cause it to happen. It is not your fault. You are not to blame. He is a piece of shit who should rot in hell. It’s horribly unfair that you received so much judgement from the people around you and were effectively blamed for your own abuse. It’s a very sick and awful tendency in this society to victim-blame instead of pointing the finger squarely where it belongs, at these vile abusers. I also s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:59 AM
59

I feel like my former BFF’s now husband did this. All of a sudden they were getting married and after the wedding he turned into a giant manchild and she had to do everything for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 11:06 AM
1

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:10 PM
1

Definitely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:17 PM
2

Yeah. It’s very true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:12 PM
10

I had the same thing! I set a boundary about not bringing up certain topics (porn, sexualised violence). First violation - he apologised. Second violation - he responded with gaslighting and DARVO. I’m out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:54 PM
1

Yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 02:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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